#15 – Sight

Tobias

To the others, I'm sure it seems like all they do is fight the Yeerks. I mean, they do have lives to live. School, family, homework, chores, social life…these things take time, you know?

It might sound crazy, but to me, it doesn't feel like we're doing enough when it comes to the Yeerks. But then again, all of those things I just listed that the others have to scramble to find time for…well, I don't have any of those things. I have hunting, and I have talking to Ax. And believe it or not, you actually can run out of things to talk about with a space alien.

So for a few months there, I filled my time by doing what I can in relation to the invasion. I followed known controllers around and found meeting sites. From those meeting sites, I identified other potential controllers. By following those potential controllers around, I confirmed whether they were definitely controllers, probably controllers, or not controllers. But again, believe it or not, you can finally run out of controllers to follow around.

When that happened, I tried a new tactic – following my friends. Sometimes I watch over them while they're in school, but that's pretty pointless. If they didn't think they'd be safe from the Yeerks at school, they wouldn't go. And to be honest, it's boring. Think about it. Sitting in class yourself is enough to put you to sleep half of the time. Imagine watching someone else do it, and then take into account that that's all it is – watching. No sound to go with it. It's like watching the world's most boring TV show…on mute.

So no matter how I stretch out my few hobbies every day, there's usually a five-to-seven hour stretch where I'm just bored stupid. I decided one day to take up one of my hobbies from my old life – people watching.

With the vision I have now, the hobby is definitely better this time around. Before, I'd just sit by myself on a bus bench or in the food court in the mall and watch people go by. I'd make up lives for them, like what they did, where they were going, what their personality was like, whether they had a boyfriend or girlfriend. Pretty pathetic, I know. But sometimes, when your life sucks, you find all sorts of ways to escape it.

My favorite place was the park. It wasn't some crappy urban park where drug deals went down, either. It was a really nice, beautiful park. It had a stone fountain and granite walkways. Big oak trees provided shade for the people, but there were also expanses of lush, green grass – the kind of flat, uniform grass that makes you think of a football field, only without the ugly chalk lines.

A girl – young woman, really – was the reason I kept going back. She was beautiful, but that wasn't why I checked in on her every day. Her life seemed perfect, even though I was only seeing an hour or so of it a day. I mean, how bad can your life possibly suck if you have an hour of free time to go to the park and relax every day?

She had very white skin, but there was color to it. She spent too much time in the sun to really be called pale, but there was a porcelain-ish quality to her. Her hair was amazing, a long, thick mane of red. The color of it was like copper set on fire. It seemed to catch the sun and glare brighter than the chips of quartz embedded in the granite sidewalks.

Her eyes were a mystical grey-green color I'd never seen before and was sure I'd never see again. Totally unique. She always wore stylish clothes. Expensive-looking, but not garish. Trendy, you know?

Usually she would bring a blanket and spread it out on the lawn to sit in the sun. She always brought her dog – I got close enough a few times to catch its name. Alf. He was a Collie, and he was beautiful, too. Never on a leash, even though there were signs in the park ordering the pair to do otherwise. The leash wasn't necessary – Alf was as well-behaved as could be. The worst he ever acted was if he saw a squirrel he felt was too far away from the safety of a tree…and even then, all he'd do was look at the girl and whine once or twice, as if asking permission to tear that squirrel a new one. A quick, "No, Alf," from her was enough to make the dog lie down and look disappointed, but he never disobeyed.

Sometimes she read novels. Sometimes she wrote poetry that, in all honesty, wasn't that good. A couple of times she brought a light picnic lunch (which she shared amicably with Alf.) And sometimes, all she did was lean back on her elbows, turn her face up to the sky, and enjoy the sunshine. She always seemed happy and at peace.

I was jealous of her and her perfect little life; no point in denying it. I was fascinated by it, too. But one day, something happened that made me reconsider my situation.

She was leaning back and soaking up the sun's rays, and she had the slightest suggestion of a smile on her face. It was an expression of pure contentment. Alf was calmly curled by her side, head to tail, taking a little siesta. I guess I lost track of where I was gliding, because I happened to pass exactly between her face and the sun. I saw as my shadow flitted across her closed eyes, and it caused her to open them.

I saw those foggy green eyes lock onto me, and her expression changed. It was the funniest thing. Her slight smile because a slight pout, and her expression went from relaxed to pensive in an instant. Her eyes tracked my progress, and I forced myself not to react – a normal Red-tail wouldn't care if some clunky, flightless human was tracking it with her eyes. But I watched, and I saw her pensive expression change into one I knew well. One I'd worn myself many, many times as a human. It changed to an appearance of pure longing.

I realized something right then, something wonderful. This perfect person with their perfect little life was jealous – of me. She was jealous of my wings, and my imperfect little life, even if she didn't know the half of it. And I was sure, in that instant, that she would have traded me places.

If I would have had lips, I would have been grinning ear to ear as I wheeled away from the park. I smiled as I do, now – on the inside – and thought about how crazy of a world it really is, when you get right down to it.

Her. Jealous of me.

Amazing.

A/N – I'm sorry if these notes are annoying to you, but I feel like I have a right to express my feelings in them. After all, you're reading the parts of me that I put into my writing – why not this part, too? Anyway, I don't want to sound entitled, but I really am disappointed in the reviewership so far. The 50+ people who are reading these chapters in the first day they're up are leaving it to the same two or three people to do all the reviewing, and it's really not fair – to me or to them. Please do the right thing, if you're able to; give a hapless fanfic writer the only possible payment he can get for his time and effort. Throw me a bone, huh? Tell me you hate it. Anything. Thank you in advance if you're kind enough to do so, and I hope you're enjoying!