Chapter 3: Family of Origin

Ava moaned, opening her eyes. A throbbing sensation ran through her head, and she could hear a dull pounding in her ears. She was incredibly...sleepy. She didn't know where she was. She squinted, trying unsuccessfully to center her distored vision. All she remembered was murdering Grelod...then running and running. She didn't have to run-no one was persuing her. Maybe she was trying to run from what she did...who she was.

The last thing she remembered was being in the woods...away from Riften. She had slept on the ground, collapsing from exhaustion. She had been crying hysterically. Why was she so sad? She chose to kill that old woman...the boy didn't force her to do this. Maybe it was the ease with which Ava murdered her that made her feel so sick, so twisted. Why was it so easy? So natural? Why did she initially feel so happy with what she'd done? The very thought of the act she committed now made her shudder. Why feel bad now that it's too late? She looked at her left hand, her vision coming into focus. It was still caked with Grelod's dried blood.

"Did you...have a good night's sleep?" a voice purred behind her. A woman's voice. It was low and seductive, and there was an incredibly dark tone to it.

Ava said nothing, slowly turning herself to get a look at who was speaking to her. In the corner a woman sat casually on top of an old bookshelf, one leg dangling down. She was wearing mysterious red and black armor Ava had never seen before. She could see the woman's piercing eyes looking at her from beneath a black cowl.

"Uugghhh..W-where am I? Wh...at ha-happened?" Ava strained to speak, as her throat burned with every word.

"Ahhh...those are very good questions...Of course, I'm more concerned with what happened, aren't you?" The woman said, folding her arms.

Ava looked about her surroundings. It seemed as if she was in some old, dilapidated house. There were dark stains mapping each wall...blood stains. She heard something scooting about behind her. She turned to see three individuals tied up with execution-style hoods over their heads. Her face twisted in confusion and fear, and she stumbled to her feet, turning back to hear what the ominous woman had to tell her.

"Oh, I see you've noticed our three...shall we call them...subjects? You'll become better aquainted with them in a moment. For now, I will answer your question...you are here because you murdered a certain...old woman. Yes, and let's just say that unbeknownst to you certain eyes had been watching. I must say, you did an efficient job nonetheless, and I commend your...enthusiasm. Unfortunately, you stole a contract from the Dark Brotherhood. Ever heard of them? Surely you have...but just in case, you could call us a...family...of sorts. People perform the Black Sacrament, and we come to fulfill their...wishes...and reap the benefits. That boy you helped-Aventus Aretino-he wanted Grelod exterminated. You took the kill from us. Now you need to repay your debt to the Dark Brotherhood."

"R-repay a debt? What are you going to do to me?!" Ava's voice trembled. She feared for the worst at this point. A member of the Dark Brotherhood was the last person she wanted to upset. She'd heard about them before-a group of deadly assassins. Once the Dark Brotherhood set their sight's on you, you were as good as dead-or just plain dead. This is it, she thought. This is the end.

"Ahhh...you have it all wrong. It's not what I'm going to do to you. It's what you are going to do for me. Now that's where our three friends come in...They are all here for some reason. It may be that they are targets for contracts. They may be thieves, murderers...or they could be innocent bystanders. That is up to you to decide..." she explained. "Oh, but you'll have to kill at least one, or there may be certain...repercussions...Make you're choice, and we will be even."

Ava stood dumbfounded by the events that were taking place. How did she get in so deep so fast? She couldn't believe how rapidly things spun out of her control. She wished she'd never went back to killing. Maybe it couldn't be helped when she was seventeen and had little choice, but now she knew better than to kill Grelod. She knew her own tendencies, and what may happen if she reverted back to them. Now she had gotten more than she'd bargained for. She would have to kill or be killed now. It was too late.

Ava looked pitifully at the floor, and then to the victims. "I'll do what I have to then," Ava's spoke quietly.

She approached the three prisoners. There was a man and a woman who Ava thought may be Nords, and a male Khajit. Each begging, pleading, or threatening her so she'd spare them. Ava knew there was no way she could tell who was lying-or if any of them were lying at all. Feeling the assassin's eyes on her back, Ava hesitantly pulled out her blood-crusted dagger. She looked into her steel blade, gazing at her red-tinted reflection. She was looking at a murderer, and she loathed what she saw.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to harness the painful emotions that were clawing their way to the surface. When she opened them, she felt a strange presence. It was that same cold, icy stillness that made the world fade out. The darkness once again filled her up, engulfing everything but the three lives in her hands. Even the air was dark...draping over her lungs like a thick smothering blanket. It was all so balanced...so clear to her now. They all must die.

Ava felt her body move calmy toward each victim. She walked up behind them, one by one, slitting their throats. Blood pooled up on the floor around her feet. It felt so warm, so welcoming soaking into her leather boots. . Warmth gushed over her like blood, leaving her feeling intense euphoria. The blackness began to subside, pulling away from Ava. All of creation came rushing back in, hitting Ava like a ton of ingots.

"My, my...aren't you the overachiever. You've done quite well. They were all targets...they all needed to perish. You're judgement is quite...impressive. Very well--you're debt is paid in full. Now let me make you an...offer. My name is Astrid..., "the woman removed her cowl, revealing silky golden locks and hazel eyes. She was very attractive, adding to her sleek, seductive demeanor. "I'm the leader of the Dark Brotherhood, and I'm extending you an invitation to join my...family." Astrid glided down off the old bookshelf, facing Ava. "I think you'd make an excellent addition."

Ava was speechless...it all felt so surreal. Was this really happening? She just killed FOUR people in two days, and now she was getting an invitation to be in the Dark Brotherhood. This is a terrible nightmare! It HAS to be! Ava's head was spinning at this point. She felt paralyzed, too afraid to move, to think. What had she done!?

"I see...the quiet type, hm? Well, let me just be clear with you. If you refuse my offer we won't purposefully hunt you down, because you're debt has been paid. However, you will not be protected from us if...say...someone decides to make you a target. And let's face it, you've already killed quite a few people. It's only a matter of time until someone contacts us for vengeance," Astrid smirked.

Ava remained silent from the trauma and hopelessness of the situation. A sinking feeling plummeted through her very soul. Not only was she cornered by this intimidating assasin, her own mind felt out of her control. She simply looked down at the floor, her body now shivering from shock.

Sensing the young woman's distress, Astrid continued, "...I see you need some time to think on the matter. Fine, I won't press you for an immediate answer. If you do decide to join us, you need to be at our Sanctuary in Falkreath by the end of this week. If not, I fear that would be an...unfortunate mistake...for you. Our passphrase is "Silence, my brother". I hope you will make the right decision..." Astrid warned, pulling her cowl back over her head.

Unable to cope, Ava collapsed in the floor crying. When she opened her tear-filled eyes, Astrid had vanished without a trace. Eerie silence filled the shack. The salty aroma of her victim's blood filled Ava's nostrils...she had to get out of there! Ava bolted out the door like a caged saber cat, fleeing as fast as her legs could carry her.

Ava sat on a gnarled stump in the dense woodlands cradling her face in her hands, and feeling her warm salty tears trickle down her forearms. She'd been unsuccessful at pushing her unwanted thoughts and feelings out of her consciousness. Try as she may, images continued bleeding through her psyche-tormenting her.

First came fresh memories of the heinous things that Astrid convinced her to do, then Grelod's dead eyes, and finally that fateful night. Glimpses of her mother and father flashed in her thoughts-their smiles, their laughter...oh how she missed it. Next, trails of blood from their lifeless bodies and the darkness. She was just a young girl on the verge of womanhood when she saw it. Visions of her old dagger came to mind-the same steel dagger that was with her now. She remembered the blood on it ten years ago...the glimpses of throats being gashed by it's razor sharp edge, and being engulfed by this icy black haze.

She quaked violently trying to fight it, to stop it, but was powerless...She had no choice but give in to the pain. She became so very still, hearing her rattling breaths moving in and out of her body. She was a murderer, and she had to face this. She wasn't normal. The truth was, she didn't isolate herself for the sole reason of not trusting others. She didn't trust herself-what she was capable of.

At this moment, all Ava could think of how was hopeless and alone she felt. She'd avoided human contact for so long...travelling from town to town, setting up camp alone in the dead of night. She wasn't even living-she was merely surviving. Life after the incident was bleak at best. She had no one, nothing. It was as if she didn't even exist anymore. She could vanish like a whisper in a roaring gale-unheard, unnoticed.

Her thoughts trailed to Astrid...a deadly assassin. She didn't want to believe it at first, but they had more in common than she'd like to admit. Although Ava wasn't quite as brazen as Astrid seemed to be, she still carried out the same abhorrent acts. Maybe this sinister invitation wasn't the best thing. It wasn't even a good thing-but it was something, and Ava had nothing. Astrid said the Brotherhood was a family, and having a family was so...enticing...Ava had grieved from her loss for so long that she became numb to it. Yet it was still burried deep inside-the longing, the yearning to have what she could no longer attain. She wanted to belong again, yet she felt too damaged for a shot at a normal life. Who knew, maybe it was fate that brought her this far...maybe it was her destiny. It certainly wasn't how she wished for her life to be.

She began to think of the last time she spent alone with her father before he died that night. They were by a the pond at their quaint home in Cyrodiil, skipping stones across the smooth waters and watching the sun set in the evening sky. She remembered his eyes. They were kind eyes. Lines from years of that warm smile and merry laughter traced those loving eyes.

"Papa...do you think I'll be good at the family business?" Ava asked him, feeling rather inadequate.

Both her parents were experienced merchants, and though their shop was modest, it was successful. As a matter of fact, they were quite reputable due to their honest dealings. They weren't wealthy, but Ava never went without as a child. Life was simple and she was...happy.

Her father was a stout man for an Imperial, and she felt his strong loving arm around her shoulder, as he gently chuckled, "...Ava, my girl...you'll do just fine. You're my daughter after all...haha...you have all my good genes! Just don't tell you're mother I said that, she'd have my head for that one!" he gave a hardy laugh. Then his voice softened, changing to a serious tone. "You know, you're mother and I are proud of you...You've learned so much. Look at you...almost grown. You'll go far, my girl."

Those were the last few moments of her simple, beautiful life. She remembered being so innocent. The memory burned her heart like a wild fire. Her mind snapped back to the present. Those days were dead, and her past life along with them. She was different now. With nothing left to lose, she swallowed hard, reaching down to touch the hilt of her blood-stained dagger. She had made her choice...the Dark Brotherhood Sanctuary awaited her in Falkreath.