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Chapter 18

Jaime was on his way back from the practice yard when one of Cersei's handmaidens appeared from the shadows, with a request from the queen regent that he come to her chamber. That she needed to speak with him on a matter of great importance regarding their family. In truth, he had expected her to seek him out, after seeing him with Sansa the night before. Cersei was nothing if not a jealous woman. She despised the thought of anyone displacing her and he expected the fact that it was Sansa who had secured his affections was even more of a blow to his sister.

He didn't especially want to speak to her, but perhaps he could try once again to change her mind about this vendetta against Tyrion. When he entered her chamber, she stood at the window, watching. She's waiting for me to cross the room, and come to her. As she always does. Stubbornly, Jaime stayed where he was, at the door. "You wished to see me?"

She slowly walked toward him. "These past few weeks have been most difficult. Seeing you marry another and then…to see Joffrey die that way…I've lost the two most important people in my life." She trailed off as tears welled in her eyes, though Jaime was not so foolish as to believe they were genuine. "Seeing you with her last night, Jaime…it made me see what a fool I've been. I miss you."

As Cersei spoke, she had moved closer and closer to him, until she was close enough to touch. "I need you, Jaime," she murmured, leaning forward to kiss him, though Jaime moved away.

"Cersei, stop this. You're only doing this because you don't like Sansa having something you think is yours."

"You are mine," she said, sliding her gown off and standing before him naked. "And I'm yours, Jaime. It's always been that way. We've always belonged together." She moved towards him, pressing her body against his. "I've only ever felt complete with you inside me. And I know you feel the same. Take what's yours."

Jaime looked away from his beautiful, naked sister. "We don't belong together." He gasped as she reached for his breeches, unlacing him and reaching for his cock. He grabbed her wrist, stopping her.

"Don't tell me you have some misguided loyalty to your wife. You didn't want to marry her, father made you, just as he made me marry Robert. Just think how many times you had me while I was married to Robert. This is no different."

"This is different. You hated Robert. I don't hate Sansa. I- "

"You may be fond of her, I'll grant you. You always were overly sentimental. But, Jaime, you and I belong together." She rested her hands on his chest, pressing her breasts against him. "Father plans to marry me off again." That's what she wants. Someone to keep father from forcing her to marry. "I don't want anyone in my bed whose not you."

"And yet so many others seem to find themselves there," he said, removing himself from her grasp.

"Don't be jealous."

"I'm not jealous, I'm disgusted. Tell me, did you line the Kettleblacks up beside the bed to repay them for their testimony or was it more refined than that?"

He saw a glint of anger in her eye, but she pushed it aside and resumed her seductive gaze. "I'm seeking justice for our son, since you won't. A woman sometimes has to use her body to get what she wants. But, Jaime, it's you that I love. It's always been you. We're two halves of the same person."

"Then why is it only one of us got a whole life? You got to marry, have children, be exactly what you wished to be. You got all of it by taking away every bit of my life. I never wanted to join the Kingsguard and give up Casterly Rock, that was what you wished me to do. What you convinced me to do. Because you needed me to do your dirty work. So I gave up my birthright. For you."

"Not just for me. It was for us, for our future."

Jaime continued as if she had not even spoken. "I never got to be with the woman I loved, except in secret, because you would never give up the chance to put Joffrey on the iron throne. I never got to claim my children, because you insisted I keep my distance, and now they're nothing to me." Jaime picked up her gown, carelessly tossed on the floor, and covered her with it. "You only loved me when I was the perfect male version of you. When I would do exactly as you wished. You never cared about my happiness."

"That's not true."

"It is true. I never saw it before but…I do see the difference now. I know what it's like to be with a woman who actually cares for me. Who truly loves me and wants me to be happy. You never did. This madness between us, it's over. Think how many people have died, just so we could fuck one another. It's over."

He saw the moment she realized there would be no convincing him. And the anger took over her features. "I never thought I'd see the day you became a bitter cripple, Jaime. Our entire lives, I have done what needed to be done to secure our futures."

"Your future. Not mine. I didn't realize it, but you've always led me around by the cock, and I let you. I matter no more to you than the Mountain. I was only ever a weapon for you to use to get what you wanted."

"Go, spend your life with your little wolf girl. She'll be all you'll ever have. You will watch Tyrion lose his head and then you'll leave here forever."

Jaime bowed slightly as he turned to leave. "As you wish, my queen."

Jaime leaned against the door to Cersei's chamber and sighed. She'll be in rare form at Tyrion's trial this afternoon. Cersei never took rejection well. A part of him had expected her to try to lure him into bed after witnessing his intimacy with Sansa, but he had hoped she'd matured a bit since their youth. It seemed she had not. He remembered when they were children and one of her friends had kissed him. Cersei had flown into a rage. It seemed nothing had changed. I can change. I have changed because of Sansa.

"It's beginning to look as if you may not be the only kingslayer in your family," a velvety voice purred from the shadows.

Jaime glanced in annoyance at Prince Oberyn Martell. "Made up your mind already, have you?"

"Allow me to walk with you, Jaime. There's a matter I would discuss with you before this trial proceeds further."

"I hope you aren't seeking admittance to my bedchamber again. I'm not keen on sharing Sansa with anyone."

The Prince smiled. "I don't blame you. I'd speak to you concerning justice."

"Justice? Is that what's going on in the throne room? I expect my sister has already paid for your vote, in her own way. Tell me, has she seduced you yet?"

He laughed. "No, but she has spoken of marriage. It seems all she requires is a head, somewhat large, a prominent scar across the face." It's not enough she spreads her legs for the witnesses, but for the judges as well.

"Why do you come to me? I certainly don't intend to make a similar offer."

"More's the pity. Between you and I, I believe I'd rather have a basketful of scorpions in my bed than your sister in all her naked glory. Far less treacherous."

"Will you condemn my brother?"

"It's likely. Justice is in short supply this side of the mountains. There has been none for my sister or her children. Why should your brother fare any better?" I should have known it would come to this. That he would use Tyrion's situation to learn the truth about his sister's murder.

"Is that the game we are playing? Fine. Ser Amory Lorch dragged Princess Rhaenys out from under her father's bed and stabbed her to death. I'm told justice was found in the form of him being eaten by a bear at Harrenhal." Jaime leaned against the wall. "It was Ser Gregor Clegane who smashed Prince Aegon's head against a wall and raped your sister Elia with the child's blood and brains still on his hands."

"And you were down in the throne room? Sitting on the Iron Throne with Aerys dead at your feet."

"Yes," Jaime said quietly. "I did not know…Had I known what they were doing to the Princess and her children, I would have stopped it. There was no reason for her to die. Whether you believe it or not, her death does haunt me. She was a kind woman. She did not deserve anything that happened to her. I am sorry that I wasn't able to protect her."

Oberyn nodded without expression. "Your brother told me that you would confirm his words as to who killed my sister and her children. I may be able to spare your brother – though you were not able to save my sister."

"You?" Jaime studied him. "You are one judge in three. How could you save him?"

"Not as his judge. As his champion. I know that were you physically able, you would serve as his champion, despite your…familial relationship to the late king. Since you cannot, perhaps I will." What has Tyrion engineered now? "I trust I'll see you at the trial this afternoon."

Jaime nodded, watching as the Prince turned and proceeded back into the main castle. The Prince must know that it will give him the chance to kill the Mountain. To avenge his sister. He does not necessarily intend to help Tyrion. Jaime shook his head, knowing that he should begin to think of another way to help his brother out of this mess.

...

Sansa sat at the desk in Jaime's solar, trying to write a letter to her mother. Jaime had promised that she could, but so far, she'd not written. She'd tried several times, but couldn't figure out what to write. Should I say something about Robb, Bran, Rickon and Father? Sansa wanted to tell her mother that she was married. I wonder if she already knows I've married Jaime? If it weren't for the circumstances, she would want to tell her mother that she was in love and to ask her for advice about being a good wife and how to make her husband love her. But Sansa worried that her mother would hate her for loving and marrying a Lannister. So, she didn't know what to write. She couldn't think of a single appropriate thing to say to her own mother. She supposed that she could tell her mother that she was alive, and no longer suffering. That she was finally being treated well. She wondered if her mother was suffering.

She heard a hesitant knock on the door and called out for the person to enter. Sansa was surprised to see Podrick Payne standing in the doorway. He left the door open and walked towards Jaime's desk.

"If you're looking for my lord husband, he's on the practice fields."

Tyrion's squire looked absolutely terrified of her as he timidly approached and held out a letter. "This is for you, Lady Lannister, from my lord."

Sansa took the letter from him and smiled at the squire. "Thank you." He bowed before her and turned on his heel, returning to Tyrion, she imagined. She looked down at the letter curiously and broke the seal.

My dear good-sister,

Jaime has told me of your generous offer, but I must agree with his refusal to allow you to endanger yourself. I will be eternally grateful to you for the thought.

Give Jaime a chance. He may not realize it, but he loves you. Don't let her win.

Tyrion

There was no need for him to say who the "her" was. Sansa wondered why Tyrion thought Jaime loved her. She thought about the past night, and how tightly Jaime held her, trying to comfort her. She hadn't meant to cry, but she felt so strongly for Jaime that she sometimes couldn't control her emotions. She had felt so secure in his arms. She believed that he wanted to make her happy, but she wasn't sure if he was able to. The way he spoke about love – his love for Cersei – she could see that he had some very wrong ideas about love. Maybe he's right. Maybe he is too broken to love anyone.

Sansa knew it was weak of her to give in to her desire for Jaime so easily, but she believed him when he told her that he wasn't jealous of Cersei's new lover. That he didn't care who Cersei shared her bed with. Sansa wanted to give him a chance to prove that he wanted her. That he could make her happy. It felt so good to be in his arms, just kissing and touching him. It had meant a lot to her to hear that she was able to bring him comfort in a way that no one else had. He was the only person who had given her comfort since her father was killed. That was one thing that had made her love him – how gentle and caring he had been with her. She wanted to be special to Jaime and to bring him the same comfort he brought her.

She had been surprised last night by how playful he had been with her. He had seemed happy. Of course, Cersei had barged in right at that moment and seen them half naked, touching and kissing. She was secretly glad that Cersei had seen them together – that she saw that Jaime did care for her and enjoyed being with her. That he was physically attracted to her.

"I would speak to you for a moment, my dear." Lord Tywin's voice from the doorway startled her, and she quickly turned over Tyrion's letter so he would not see it.

"Of course, my Lord," she said politely, wondering why he would want to speak to her. The trial was supposed to resume this afternoon, so he surely had other things to do today. Yet he walked into Jaime's solar and sat opposite the desk. Sansa couldn't help feeling nervous, wondering what he could possibly wish to speak to her about.

"I expect Jaime has told you that I plan for King Tommen to accompany the two of you to Casterly Rock. That he will be Jaime's ward until he reaches the age of majority. He would benefit from Jaime's influence and, I think, from yours as well. My daughter is many things, but gentle is not one of them." Sansa wasn't sure if he expected her to comment on Cersei's qualities, but he continued on, so she supposed not. "Tommen's rule will ensure the legacy of House Lannister. It is most important that he be a good king. Loved and respected by his people. It will be your responsibility, and Jaime's, to ensure that Tommen becomes the man he needs to be."

Sansa nodded. "I would be honored for King Tommen to live with us. The – the queen regent does not seem to favor his grace accompanying us," she ventured.

"Cersei will do what is best for the realm. And you will as well, won't you?"

"Yes," she said quietly.

"There is one other matter I would like to discuss with you. Now that Jaime has resumed his role as heir to Casterly Rock, it is imperative that he produce children." I should have known this was coming. It's the only reason he wanted Jaime to marry me. "I had hoped to hear that you were with child by now. Jaime assures me that the both of you are doing all that is necessary to conceive an heir." Sansa looked down, feeling her face heat at the thought of Jaime discussing what happened in their bedchamber with his father. He looked at her expectantly.

"We are my lord," she managed. "I very much wish to give Jaime children."

"I know there has been a great deal of tragedy and excitement for the two months of your marriage. I expect that has contributed to why you have not announced that you are with child."

"I'm certain that is it, my lord," she murmured.

"Your mother birthed many children and I expect the same from you. The clear affection between you and my son should not make that a burden." Sansa was horrified to listen to Lord Tywin speak of she and Jaime enjoying one another in the bedchamber. "I look forward to more grandchildren. You'll not disappoint me, or Jaime, will you dear?"

She shook her head. "Of course not. I'm sure it will not be long before I have the honor of carrying Jaime's heir."

He watched her for a moment before rising from his chair. "I must prepare for this afternoon's trial. You and Jaime will of course attend, as members of Joffrey's family. I'll leave you to your solitude, my dear."

"Goodbye, my lord." Lord Tywin terrified her. After he left her, closing the door behind her, she thought about his words. She knew the only reason Lord Tywin married her to Jaime was for an heir. A Lannister child who would inherit Winterfell. Though, in truth, she'd given it little thought once she and Jaime had married. She was glad that he wasn't too angry with her for not yet being with child. She had only been married for a little over two moons. It wasn't that long. As Sansa thought about her last moon blood, she felt her stomach drop. Lord Tywin was right about everything that had happened since her marriage distracting her.

Oh, gods. I've not bled for over two moons – not since before my wedding. I'm carrying Jaime's child.

She wondered how she could be so stupid. She had not even thought about it, between Robb's death, Joffrey's wedding and murder, the trial, Tommen's coronation, and learning the truth about Jaime and Cersei. The thought of her being with child was so far from her mind, she had not even noticed the passage of time.

Sansa rested her hand lightly on her still flat stomach, as the realization that she was going to be a mother hit her. There's a lion cub in my belly. What if it's another Joffrey? She was suddenly overcome with fear. She wondered what Jaime would think about her having his child. He didn't have much interest in his children with Cersei. He didn't even care when Joffrey died. Though he was such a monster, who could blame Jaime for not caring? Jaime will want an heir, if nothing else. She wondered if Jaime would be more of a father to their children than he had been to Cersei's. I hope that he's as kind to our children as he is to me.

I don't need to tell anyone, just yet. I can keep it to myself for a little while. Just until I get used to the idea. Then she would tell Jaime that he was going to be a father. Again.

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Let me know what you think. We should get out of Kings Landing in a few more chapters, but in the next one: the conclusion of Tyrion's trial.