THE MASTER THIEF
On the outskirts of the valley, a masked Adelie penguin walked through the snow with a herd of elephant seals by his side. On the elephant seals' shoulders they carried straw bags which they brought into Emperor Land, parking in a nearby cave.
The masked penguin looked out at Emperor Land, before one of the straw bags was torn apart from the inside, a Humboldt penguin stepping out of it and pointing a sword to the masked penguin's throat and saying "how come you get to stay in the open whilst I suffocate like an animal?!"
"First of all, we are animals. Secondly, somebody's gotta keep a cool head, Dor-Toh" the masked penguin replied, Dor-Toh saying "someone'll have no head if this ends up being another dead end!"
"Don't worry, the sceptre is here. This time I'm sure"
In the city, Mumble looked at the cave, saying "any idea who brought these things?" Johnny answering "no. I don't know anyone who could get their flippers on a bunch of elephant seals"
"Well, if they are up to anything, we got the new head of security to stop them" Alex said, Mumble asking "head of security?"
"Yes, Master Happy Feet" A.P.R.I.T.I.O.N said as he landed. "I have activated several security protocols around Emperor Land. Any of Reddington's threats will be neutralized if they attempt to breach these protocols"
"Oh, thanks. Uh, at ease" Mumble said.
Hellas walked into his shack, where he saw the A.P.R.I.T.I.O.N hooked up to a machine unconscious. Though his body remained lifeless, the A.P.R.I.T.I.O.N's voice came through the computer, saying "good afternoon Hellas"
"To you too" Hellas answered as he sat down "What's that Hellas?"
"Just... an old relic" Hellas said as he looked at the dust-covered box, opening it to reveal a jewel encrusted dagger. "An accesory of mine"
"Well, it definetly makes you look sharp, ha ha"
"Good one. It belonged to my son"
"Your son? You have never mentioned your son to me"
"I know. He um... he died a long time ago"
Back in the cave, the masked penguin said "okay boys, let's get down to business" as the baskets on the elephant seals broke apart, each one revealing a penguin who stepped out and armed themselves.
One of the penguins said "all set up, sir" to the masked penguin, as another said "righto!", the masked penguin answering "good job, Jinno. Wrecker, you get those elephant seals ready to move for when I give the signal. Dor-Toh, you know what to do" as he left.
Julius entered a small corridor, leaving a golden sceptre on the shelf. The masked penguin saw this, using a blade to signal Dor-Toh.
Dor-Toh saw Wrecker and Jinno trying to move one of the elephant seals, pushing them out of the way as he readied his three bladed knuckleduster. "Let me be the point man!
The ground began shaking, as Mary said "that doesn't sound right" before all of the elephant seals crashed through the walls and ran rampant, destroying everything in their path.
Moriarty yelled "stampede!" as Johnny said "no! We're under attack!" as Jinno, Wrecker and Dor-Toh attacked, followed by the other thieving penguins.
As their defences were quickly overpowered, Julius and A.P.R.I.T.I.O.N making the most progress in fighting off their attackers, Johnny said "they fight like demons!" in fear, Moriarty answering "worse than demons! They're the United Robbers League! The forty thieves of the penguin world!"
"Are you sure? I only count thirty-nine" Alex said as he fought off some of the robbers. Mary looked at the treasury, seeing the masked penguin and saying "forty!"
The penguin looked through the treasury. Eventually, he found the sceptre, and said "finally" before he was thrown aside, tossing the sceptre into the air. Mary caught the sceptre and said "can I see your passport sir?"
"Stay outta my way!" the penguin said as he threw the head of an ice sculpture at Mary, knocking her to the floor as he grabbed the sceptre. Mary grabbed his feet as he tried to run, causing him to fall on the ground clumsily. Mary picked up a sword and swung it at him, before the thief deflected the blow with his own sword, saying "you don't stand a chance against the Master Thief!"
Eventually, Hellas, Aleksei and Winter arrived and defeated several thieves. Dor-Toh saw Julius and A.P.R.I.T.I.O.N and said "Ardel never mentioned facing a mystic and robot! Let's go. We'll leave the Master to his own!"
Meanwhile, Mary still fought the Master Thief for the sceptre, before Meg intervened and threw the Master Thief out. He ran off to find the other thieves, Dor-Toh saying "did you get the sceptre"
"Don't ask!"
Back in Emperor Land, everyone looked through the treasury, Alex saying "what were they after?" as Mary showed him the sceptre and said "the Master Thief wanted this"
"But why?" Meg said, Julius looking at the sceptre and saying this sceptre can show you anything you could ever ask for. The Master Thief wanted this to find an ultimate treasure.
"Did somebody sign-language treasure?!" Katniss asked as A.P.R.I.T.I.O.N used his tracking device to locate the robbers. When he located them, he detected a familiar gene in one of the penguins there.
When Hellas had left, A.P.R.I.T.I.O.N said to Mary, Katniss, Alex and Johnny "Mary, I have found something about Hellas"
"What do you mean Appa?" Mary asked, Katniss saying "Appa? Really?"
"Yeah, it's my nickname for him. So, what is it"
"I have located... his son"
"What?!"
"His son, Ardel"
"Where is he? We gotta find him"
"Follow the trail of the Robbers. He is trapped within their world"
"Aren't you coming with us?" Mary asked as they went to leave, A.P.R.I.T.I.O.N answering "I will stay here in case they return. Good luck" as he passed her Hellas' dagger.
As they followed the trail, Alex said "I should have stayed back at Emperor Land. I'll take guard duty over certain death any day!"
"Just remember we're doing this to help Hellas" Johnny said, before adding "so, let's stay positive!"
As they arrived at a dark mountain, Alex said "well, this is where the tracks go!" as he led the others through the dark caves, before they heard voices coming from a lighted area. They hid behind rocks as they listened to Dor-Toh shouting on an empty table, surrounded by the other thieves.
"We coulda had all the loot from Emperor Land! But no, we had to follow the "Master's" plan. And look what we have to show for it! NOTHING!"
"Oh this should be good" Jinno said as Dor-Toh confronted Ardel, Wrecker saying "Dor-Toh's real ticked off tonight"
Dor-Toh said "your time's drawn to a close, Ardel!"
Mary, who listened to this, said "Ardel? That's him!"
Ardel sighed and said "if you're talking about killing me Dor-Toh, well, I just don't see that happening"
Dor-Toh readied his three bladed knuckleduster and said "then let me open your eyes!"
Mary jumped out of the shadows and pinned down Dor-Toh, saying to Ardel "go! I got him!"
Everyone looked at her in confusion, Mary adding "(sigh) listen, my name is Mary and I'm from Emperor Land. I know your father, Hellas, Son of Erik!" as he passed him Hellas' dagger. Ardel gasped as he looked at the familiar trinket. As the thieves grabbed and restrained Johnny, Alex and Katniss, Dor-Toh eventually grabbed Mary, pulled out his knuckleduster and said "you'll pay for intruding here you little sh-
"Let her go!" Ardel said as he picked up the dagger. "She's... telling the truth. I remember this dagger. My father gave it to me before... Rodan"
"So it's true?" Jinno asked, Wrecker saying "the Master Thief's father is alive?"
"Wait, Ardel. You're the Master Thief?" Mary asked.
"Family or not, they're intruders. And we have rules about intruders! They must die!" Dor-Toh said, Johnny fainting when he heard this. Alex said to Ardel "come on. Let's try and be reasonable here. Do another Quicksilver a favor!"
"Go ahead Ardel. Mercy is always your thing. Soft and weak" Dor-Toh said. Ardel thought for a moment and smiled, shrugging and saying "kill 'em"
"What?!" Mary said as Dor-Toh raised his duster, Ardel saying "but!"
"But what?"
Ardel pretended to think "but, one of them could...nah, no"
"What? One of them could what?" Jinno asked.
"No, it's probably a bad idea"
"Let's hear it" Wrecker said.
"Well, it seems to me that... oh, nevermind"
"What is it man!" Dor-Toh snapped, Ardel smiling as he said "one of them... could face... The Challenge!" prompting much excited discussion among the thieves.
"What challenge?" Katniss asked, Wrecker explaining "The Challenge. one of you will face a task, and if you succeed, you will become one of us"
Mary said "(sigh) I'll do it" Ardel saying "well, it's settled then. Mary will face The Challenge"
"And I will be the one to test her!" Dor-Toh said. Mary gulped nervously, Alex saying "maybe it's an intelligence challenge. You know, like rock, paper scissors or something"
The thieves sat as an audience in their arena, which consisted of a rocky edge on a steep cliff, that led to Leopard seal infested waters. Mary stood on one end while Dor-Toh stood on the other, sharpening his duster. Alex, who was tied up with Johnny and Katniss, said "nope. Nothing at all like rock, paper scissors!"
Johnny said "can we escape now?"
"You're joking, aren't you! We're surrounded by thugs. No offence(to thieves) and Mary, well, it's been nice knowing her!"
Mary said to Ardel "so, how does this challenge work?" Ardel saying "it's quite simple really. Only one of you makes it out alive"
"What?!" Mary said, Ardel handing her Hellas' dagger and responding "don't worry, with this dagger, you'll be that one"
Katniss said "whoo! Come on! Knock him dead Mary! Literally!"
Mary tucked the sheathed dagger into her belt and walked towards Dor-Toh, saying nervously "(scared laugh) ha ha. Hello again"
A lighting storm began as one of the thieves stood between them, lifting up a sword as a signal. Another bolt flashed as he brought the sword down, and Dor-Toh charged toward Mary with his sword, Mary still keeping Hellas' dagger in it's scabbard as she narrowly avoided Dor-Toh's attacks. Eventually, she was kicked into a corner as another bolt flashed.
Mary slid on the floor and kicked Dor-Toh onto his back. Johnny and Alex covered their eyes as Katniss watched nervously.
Dor-Toh, finally having enough, swung his knuckleduster as another bolt flashed, slashing Mary across the flipper. Mary screamed in pain and clutched her bleeding flipper, Ardel getting worried as he thought to himself this might not have been such a good idea.
Dor-Toh raised his knuckleduster again, Mary pulling out Hellas' dagger as he brought it down. As their blades clashed, Mary held hers up to stop Dor-Toh's from coming down on her, struggling with Dor-Toh's strength.
Eventually, their struggle caused Mary to knock over a wooden torch, causing a large amount of fire to surround them on the mountainside. Dor-Toh punched Mary in the stomach and then face, sending her to the ground, inches away from the cliff edge.
Dor-Toh picked Mary up and threw her from the cliff edge, Katniss, Alex and Johnny saying "no!" as she fell down the edge. Mary looked at the dagger she was holding, digging it into the side of the mountain, this slowing her down as she reached a flatter area near the top. Leaving the dagger stabbed into the rock, Mary breathed heavily as she looked at her injured flipper, before she heard the sound of blades on the rock, turning around to see Dor-Toh following her down.
As he reached her, Dor-Toh said "looks like you're all out of ideas!" as he readied his duster. Mary looked up and, seeing the dagger just in front of Dor-Toh, said "not yet!" as she jumped up and grabbed the handle of the dagger, this allowing her to kick Dor-Toh away. Mary jumped down as Dor-Toh began to lose his footing on the ledge. Mary reached forward as Dor-Toh fell. However, it was too late, as she witnessed him falling into the ocean from a hundred foot drop.
Mary sat back and exhaled heavily, before a string of rope was passed down to her. Mary grabbed the rope and began to climb, returning Hellas' dagger into it's scabbard as she did this.
When she reached the top, she was suddenly surrounded and restrained by the thieves. Katniss said "hey! I thought she won that!"
Mary was brought towards Ardel and Jinno, stuttering "I-I-I'm s-so-sorry, i-it was an ac-accident. I-I didn't mean to..."
Ardel silenced her and said "you killed Dor-Toh. The code of the United Robbers League is very clear on this point... you're in"
Ardel: Congratulations, bub,
Jinno: you've joined the club
Wrecker: And everybody here agrees
Thieves: We got the finest blend of nearly-honest men,
Welcome to the Forty Thieves!
A fraternity of thugs that you can trust
There's nothing up our eighty sleeves
Wrecker: Got lots of grub to share
Jinno: Pull up an easy chair!
Thieves: Welcome to the Forty Thieves!
Now you get to lie and cheat,
Wrecker: Never have to brush your teeth
Thieves: But we always aim to please
Jinno: Care for one another
Ardel: You'll never miss your mother
Katniss:(spoken) ooh, I love these guys.
Thief 1, 2, 3: Schemin' up a scam,
Out on the lam...
Thief 4, 5, 6: Takin' whatever we please
Jinno: And if you like to lurk
You're gonna love this work!
Welcome to the Forty Thieves!
Welcome to the Forty Thieves!
Ardel: Together we're the perfect team
Larceny is in the genes
I'll dare to share the family dream!
Alex: Live a life o' leisure
Countin' all yer treasure!
Thieves: As an honorary member of the gang,
That no one alive ever leaves,
Jinno: Ya gotta snatch and sneak
Ardel: Or else your future's bleak
Wrecker: We got a lifetime contract that you're bound to keep
Ardel: You wanna save your skin
You better fit right in,
Ardel and Jinno: Wel-wel-welcome to the,
Wrecker: Wel-wel-welcome to the
All: Forty thieves!
"So, I find my father and lose my nemesis. Thanks a lot Mary" Ardel said as he walked through a cave with the group. Mary said "I was trying to stay alive!"
"And if you didn't fight you would have been killed. So says the code of the URL"
Alex asked "is there anything in these rules that doesn't involve killing?" Ardel simply answering "they're strict guidelines. But there is one thing that I added. We don't harm the innocent"
"Well, for future reference. I'm as innocent as the day I was hatched" Katniss said as they arrived at a stone wall covered in ancient hieroglyphics. Ardel took off the small golden button on his cape and inserted it into a space of the jigsaw like wall. He said "my own men don't even know about this place" as the wall began to unfurl, revealing a large, secret room.
Ardel used his torch to light two oil lamps, revealing the walls and floors to be covered in maps, tapestries and compasses. He said "here's the thing. There's this treasure. The ultimate treasure! Compared to this, an Elder's tomb is an abortive's grave"
Alex and Katniss were both wide eyed with excitement at hearing of this treasure, as Ardel continued with "a King's fortune is like... well, lunch money! And I am this close to it!"
"That sounds..." Katniss started, Alex finishing her sentance with "tantalizing!"
"So, what is this ultimate treasure" Mary said, still angry at Ardel for nearly getting her killed. Ardel pulled out a rolled up tapestry, saying "the big one, boys. And girls" before opening the cloth, revealing a woven picture of a green pentagon.
"The Pentagon of Plutus"
"Who, or what, is Plutus?" Alex asked, Johnny saying "Plutus is the Greek god of wealth"
"So, it's a myth then" Mary said, less than impressed.
"It's not a myth! The only problem is that it's in on a island that is never in the same place twice. The Receding Sanctuary!"
"Oh, darn" Alex said in disappointment. Ardel drew back a curtain and said "it was once here!" as he showed his torch into a dark cavern.
The group looked down into the pool, where the light revealed a ship submerged under the water. The ship seemed to be made of green jewel, as Ardel said "there's your proof! Every sail, every stem. Every piece of rigging! Solid jade!"
Alex and Katniss' grins reached from either side of their faces, as Katniss said "anyone fancy a swim?"
"Touched by the Pentagon of Plutus!" Ardel said. Mary added "and sunk by it!"
"Oh, you don't understand! You don't know what it's like to fail someone you care about!"
"What do you mean?"
Ardel sighed and said "when I was a kid, my Mom and I were captured by Rodan Gizzardcrusher. Thrown into a prison with any other survivors. When I was a little older, I escaped. I promised Mom that I'd get her out one day. I didn't remember much of my father, but I remembered the stories he told me. About the Pentagon of Plutus. If I found it, we'd never have any problems again. I joined the URL and eventually became their leader"
"Why didn't you ever go back?" Katniss asked, Ardel saying "because I couldn't find it! I knew exactly what I wanted for my family. The best. I couldn't give up and go back to my mother empty handed. (sigh) Soon, the weeks turned into months. Months turned into years, I... I came back to Rodan's lair one night. And all I found was a skull. As far as I knew, my family was gone forever". A tear rolled down his face as he said "at that moment, I'd have given anything to have my Mom back. And now look at me. A thief. What a proud penguin my dad must be of me"
"Your father never wanted Jade, or gold. He just wanted you" Mary said in a much more comforting tone. "You were more precious to him than all the treasures of all the world"
"Really?"
"Yes. Come back with us Ardel. This time, you actually have an invitation" Mary said.
Ardel answered "I don't know. I've always wanted to know about my dad but, well, now I'm not so sure"
"Just think about it. We don't leave for Emperor Land until the morning anyway"
Ardel: You don't understand
There is so much that you don't see
Just think, if you can,
What growing up had to be like for me
Your father's a man
Who shows you who you are
Mine was never there
So how can you say
I don't come out of thin air?
When Mary left the room, Alex said "you know Ardel. That sceptre you were looking for is at Emperor Land. Alone, and unguarded!"
"I know what you're trying to do, but you can-
"It's a once in a lifetime oppurtunity!" Alex said, Ardel thinking for a moment and saying "and I just can't turn it down! And, well, it would be great to see my dad"
Ardel: I've waited so long To learn the truth
And now at last, I can finally say
My father is really there
There's so much that we might share
And I'll finally know
I don't come out of thin air
As they arrived at Emperor Land the next day, Ardel said "pretty sloppy on security, don't you think?"
Alex answered "I'm sure the A.P.R.I.T.I.O.N's hiding somewhere" before the nanodroid appeared, saying "good morning everyone. Back so soon. (gasp) Mary, what happened to your flipper!? Oh no, it's bleeding! Get a doctor! Needles! Aspirin! Anything! Aahh!"
"It's fine, Appa, it's just a scratch" Mary said. "Oh hey, you guys are back!" Petey said. "Good, we're just about to put the place on lockdown!"
"Lockdown?"
"That's right, Mary" Petey said. "I'd like to see those bandits get within an inch of Emperor Land"
"Petey, allow me to introduce" Katniss" started, Ardel adding "ha ha, the Master Thief"
Author's note: the following was too hard to describe in story format. Therefore, until you see this asterisk *, Petey's actions and words will be written in script format.
Petey: [shrieks, then calls on a walkie talkie] All units, we have a Code Red! (transforms into multiple S.W.A.T. troopers as Emperor Land is blocked off by large metal doors)
Petey: (as multiple S.W.A.T. troopers) Code Red! Code Red! Code Red! Code Red! Code Red!
Petey: (transforms into army of Scottish penguins. With Scottish accent) Come on, boys! Follow me! [All play bagpipes. watch?v=PSH0eRKq1lE. 0:48 to 1:06]
Petey: (Turns into the Lone Ranger. watch?v=RZIVphczMbY. 0:20) Calvary, FORWARD! [all Rangers(also Petey) follow him. Pause at 0:33. Plane flies by and Petey, dressed as multiple paratroopers, jumps out]
Petey: (as paratrooper 1) Geronimo!
(as paratrooper 2) Arapaho!
(as paratrooper 3) Navajo!
(as Pocahontas) Pocahontas!
[all the Peteys surround Ardel armed with guns.]
Petey: (through megaphone) Do not attempt to move or we'll be shooting ourselves!
Author's note: Okay, back to normal. Also, if you're wondering, all this was just Petey's imagination, and it never really happened. *
Mary tried to snap Petey out of his imaginative state as Hellas walked over. "Petey, calm down!"
"Back off Mary. This one's got a criminal record as long as my flipper"
"Petey, this is Hellas' son, Ardel"
"What?!" Hellas said. "My son is the Master Thief?"
"Oh, you must be Hellas" Ardel said. "Pretty awkward family reunion, huh?"
Hellas looked at Ardel silently, before breaking down into tears and embracing his son, saying "I thought you were dead"
Ardel followed suit and answered "me too" as he returned the embrace.
"Wait, so the Master Thief is Hellas' kid?" Petey asked, Alex saying "basically yes"
"Come on son. We'll take you to meet the others" Hellas said, Katniss saying "whoa guys. Don't you think we ought to lose the "Emperor Land's Most Wanted" look?"
"I'll have to agree with that" Alex said, Ardel answering "what's wrong with the way I look?"
"Well, Ardel, when you're here, you're not the Master Thief. You're my son" Hellas said.
"I had a lot more practice being the Master Thief"
A.P.R.I.T.I.O.N said "Well, I believe that we've had enough of this dark past and loneliness. I see blue skies ahead"
A.P.R.I.T.I.O.N: It's a big, bright, beautiful future
Thank your lucky stars you're alive!
You got someone special to talk to.
A friend that you can trust for life!
You've been on your own
With no family ties,
But those solo days are done
You'll be two of a kind
Spending quality time
Together... as father and son!
Buildin' model ships
Takin' fishin' trips
Workin' hand in hand
Painting the palace, and mowing the sand
First at ten to go
with your daddy-o
Once you break the ice
You'll ca-postulate paternal advice
See, you're traveling at the speed of life
that's the theory of relatives!
It's a fine, fantabulous future
I see fruit on the family tree
(to Hellas)You'll be great as a grumpy old grandpa
Bouncing babies on your knee!
You can fall asleep on the comfy couch
After playin' one-on-one
Screamin' back-to-back,
Betcha wallop the Shaq
Together... as father and son!
Hellas: May be a bumpy ride
Ardel: We'll make it side-by-side
A.P.R.I.T.I.O.N: Good afternoon, I'll be your travel guide
Move over Ardel,
Make room for dad!
You got a whole new shoulder to cry on
Take a chance now,
Give it a spin
(to Ardel)You've had chums for pal-in' around with
But you never had a friend like him!
Put your checkered past behind you now
No more livin' on the run
Face a big, bright, beautiful future
Together, together, together, together... as father and son!
CAST
MUMBLE
ANDREW GARFIELD
HELLAS
MICHAEL FASSBENDER
MARY
SHAILENE WOODLEY
MEG
ELIZABETH OLSEN
ALEX
AARON-TAYLOR JOHNSON
ARDEL
EVAN PETERS
JINNO
AARON PAUL
WRECKER
WEIRD AL YANKOVIC
DOR-TOH
JUDD NELSON
JOHNNY
BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH
MORIARTY
ANDREW SCOTT
JULIUS
ANDY SERKIS
A.P.R.I.T.I.O.N
PAUL BETTANY
KATNISS
JENNIFER LAWRENCE
PETEY
RYAN REYNOLDS
THIEVES
TOM KENNY
JEFF BENNET
DAVID KAYE