Author's note: This is going to be a long author's note, so please bear with me. I have a couple of things that I need to clarify in regards to this story. These concerns arose in part due to the content of a review I recently received, which seemed to convey an aura of confusion and distaste. I do appreciate all reviews, good or bad, short or long, etc. However, I will defend a couple of things about this story, which a certain reviewer has already done (so thank you, whoever you are). But I digress. First of all, I did not, at any point, utilize Casey's assault as anything other than an event in the story. Additionally, Casey and Olivia did not jump into bed the day after Casey was assaulted. I noted two major time jumps within the story, but I understand that they may not be memorable. So as a quick note, two months passed between Casey's assault and the initial interrogation, and it has been another two months since then. Thus, Casey and Olivia did not sleep together again until four months after Casey's attack.
And one thing that helped Casey heal was knowing that her baby was not fathered by either of her rapists, but by a man she slept with a week before her attack. And Casey and Olivia did discuss their relationship at length, but knowing someone for thirteen years carries a distinctive advantage on that front, as opposed to jumping into bed with a stranger. But, as I said, I appreciate all feedback, so thank you for the continued support on this story. I merely wanted to clarify any confusion some readers may have, and apologize for that confusion. I am very sorry for this huge author's note. Thank you for reading. Please enjoy this next chapter. I look forward to everyone's thoughts.
Olivia had spent most of the night tossing and turning. Casey was sound asleep beside her. Olivia knew she was stressed about the following day, too, but Casey had spent several nights with very little sleep, and this was, in some ways, her involuntary crash night. Olivia, on the other hand, was accustomed to only getting a couple hours of sleep each night, so it didn't phase her, and it left her unable to sleep.
She could only think about what could go wrong the next day. Two weeks had passed since their passionate night together, and they had agreed on the first Monday of the month to disclose to their bosses. Olivia knew this could go one of two ways. Either their bosses would be accepting and merely warn them not to let their personal lives affect their careers, or, with her luck, one or both of them would order one of them to transfer. Olivia tried to hope for the best, but it was difficult in a world tinted with murder and assault.
Rising early in the morning, Olivia glanced at the clock, noticing that it was only half past five. She quietly crept out of bed, closing the bathroom door silently behind her. Casey had stirred in her arms, but she had immediately rolled over and fallen back to sleep. Olivia showered quickly. She had never understood the need for long showers. For those who spent more than ten minutes in the shower, she thought it unnecessary. How long did it take to wash one's hair and body, and even shave, when needed?
By the time she was dressed, her morning coffee in hand, it was just after six. Olivia walked to the bakery around the corner, which, luckily, was open twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. Olivia paid for Casey's favorite donuts, and a couple of bagels for herself. Returning to the apartment, she placed the bagels and a note next to the coffee pot. After checking on Casey once more, and satisfied that the younger woman was sound asleep, Olivia grabbed her keys and headed out into the morning.
Most of the morning was spent in her office. She had multiple things to deal with, namely her decision on Amanda's pregnancy. Amanda had blindsided her with the news, and Olivia was happy for her. If they were merely coworkers, she would have congratulated her and moved on. But things were different now that she was the boss. She couldn't be everybody's friend. Amanda had begged her not to reveal anything yet, but Olivia knew she was obligated to do so. As a final effort, she drafted an email to Amanda, instructing her to come in the following day for a meeting. Olivia had given her the day off to allow her time to prepare for her mother and sister's arrivals.
Then there was the issue of the numerous press conferences coming up. Olivia hated having to deal with the press. They twisted everything, and every word seemed to have the opposite meaning to a reporter. With their odd number of high profile cases, the press was hounding the sixteenth precinct, which meant Olivia had a thousand questions to field.
And then there was Casey. Olivia leaned back in her chair, sighing as she folded her hands behind her head. According to the clock on her desk, nearly three hours had passed since she had arrived at work. When had that happened? Olivia glared as the minute ticked up to 9:42. Her meeting with Tucker from Internal Affairs and the Chief of Detectives was just over an hour away. She took a deep breath, exhaling sharply. This had to go well.
At eleven AM, Olivia sat across from Lieutenant Tucker and the Chief of Detectives. "Good morning, Sergeant Benson," Tucker began smoothly, folding his hands on the desk. "To what do we owe this spur of the moment meeting? Have one of your detectives done something we need talk about?"
Olivia bit the inside of her lip. Leave it to Tucker to assume that she had only called him because one of her detectives had acted up. She wasn't their mother, and they hadn't done anything in their jobs that she believed warranted punishment. "No, sir," she answered calmly. "I am here regarding a personal matter."
"A personal matter?" Chief Dodds questioned. "That sounds rather disconcerting."
Olivia's nerves were going haywire. She had rehearsed this meeting a million times in her mind, which was odd in itself for a woman who normally allowed her words to flow naturally. This was different- it wasn't just her future on the line, but also that of the woman she loved. "Many rumors have swirled around the department for years," she began carefully. "Among them is the rumor that I have a certain..preference for who to date. I am not here to comment on the validity of any sub-rumors that may relate to those, but I will confess that the main rumor itself is one hundred percent true."
Tucker leaned forward thoughtfully. "What female officer hasn't faced the rumor that she enjoys sleeping with other women?" he questioned, his usual sarcasm ever present in his voice. Olivia was surprised at the lack of a mocking tone. "But it is your admission that those rumors are, indeed, true?"
"Yes," Olivia replied. Her nerves were only worsening. She had never been one to advertise who she dated. Her office and bedroom lives needed to remain separate, regardless of who she slept with. She wasn't one who could sleep with someone, then wink at them in the office, or whatever people did to avoid revealing their relationships. "They are true," she reiterated. "As I said, I am not here to discuss the validity of anything else people may have whispered regarding my feelings for anyone in general. I like to leave the past in the past."
Tucker nodded. "Understood," he answered. The notepad he had brought in remained blank. He had clearly brought it in with the expectation of her tattling on one of her detectives.
"We understand," Dodds agreed, "but we do not understand the purpose of this conversation. Why would you come in here and tell us this? Your personal life does not affect your job."
"It may," Olivia interjected. "At least, there may be a perception that it may." She inhaled sharply. It was now or never. She launched into her explanation carefully. "For several months, I have been sleeping with Assistant District Attorney Casey Novak. It meant nothing to me at first, but I have asked her to marry me, and she accepted. Furthermore, she is pregnant, and I have every intention of legally adopting her baby when it is born."
An uncomfortable silence settled over the room. Olivia hated discussing her personal life, especially with men, because their definition of lesbians tended to mesh with what one could see in any video online. Lesbian was practically synonymous with naughty schoolgirl, often eliciting the same type of thoughts. Olivia chastised herself mentally. She was up for promotion to Lieutenant, poised to officially take the reigns of the unit, and here she was, losing her nerve over something as trivial as discussing her relationship with Casey? Casey...Olivia wondered if she was up yet. She must be in the shower by now, or even dressed already. She must..
"Sergeant?" Tucker prodded, jolting her from her thoughts.
"I'm sorry, what?" Olivia asked. Daydreaming was a sure way to convince them that their relationship wouldn't affect their jobs.
Dodds leaned back in his chair. "Lieutenant Tucker asked you whether or not your relationship with A.D.A. Novak has ever impaired your judgment or your ability to carry out the duties of your position."
"Absolutely not," Olivia answered. She racked her mind for any examples, as she hated lying, but nothing came to mind. "No, our relationship has never affected either of our jobs. We have taken every precaution to ensure that this does not happen."
"I assume you two are living together?" Dodds inquired.
Olivia nodded. Casey had officially changed her address, so they were officially living together. "Yes, we are living together," she answered truthfully. "She moved in with me approximately a week after her assault. At first, it was because her apartment was unbearable to live in for her, but when we made our relationship official, we made that official, as well."
Tucker took a rather large drink from his plastic water cup, and offered Olivia a cup of her own, but she shook her head, holding up her hand. He offered the tiniest glimmer of a smile. It must have been the lighting. "How can you assure us that your jobs and your relationship have never crossed paths, or that one does not affect the other?"
Olivia smiled, providing the answer she had already planned. "Neither of us have ever been late to work since our relationship began. We have never been caught in public, and our objectivity has never been an issue on any case. Her conviction rate has remained steady, and I have never done anything differently with my squad."
Dodds nodded thoughtfully, clearly considering her assurances. "When do you two plan to get married? And when is her baby due?"
"Her baby is due in approximately five months. We are planning the ceremony for sometime around the holidays." Olivia wasn't sure why that was relevant, but maybe they were just making conversation. Not that it was helping her nerves. If anything, it was only making her feel more jittery.
Another long silence passed, a full four beats. Finally, Tucker exhaled loudly. He spent a few minutes whispering with Chief Dodds, before they turned their attention back to Olivia. "We are sufficiently satisfied that your relationship has not and will not infringe on your ability to carry out your duties as SVU's Sergeant, and possible future Lieutenant. We appreciate you coming in of your own volition, and that does count in your favor. Provided that your relationship never affects your job, the fact that you have officially disclosed means that you may remain in your position, and you have nothing to worry about. As long as you remain professional at all times in the office, we take no issue with this partnership."
Olivia, who had been folding and unfolding her hands in her lap, was too surprised by Tucker's friendliness that she wasn't sure what to say. Finally, she managed to speak. "Thank you, Lieutenant, and thank you, Chief Dodds. We wanted to place everything in the open before we went any further in this relationship. She is everything to me, but my career means much to me as well. I have spent a quarter of my life in this unit, and I cannot imagine being placed anywhere else. Thank you for your understanding. I promise, from both of us, that our relationship will never infringe upon our duties."
"Excellent," Dodds answered, standing up and pushing his chair in. "Is that all, Sergeant?"
"Yes," Olivia answered. She, too, stood and walked over to the door.
"Then you may leave." Tucker gestured to the door. "Oh, and Sergeant?" Olivia turned to face them again, saying nothing. He smiled gently. "Congratulations."