A/N: This is Greenfield's, who'd fallen in love with this song and just had to write it! Song is Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri, which we do not own. Pairing in Princess Mary/Phillip of Bavaria. Please review!

I know I can't take one more step towards you
cause all that's waiting is regret
don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
you lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live, half alive
and now you want me one more time

She could still remember the day she went looking for him.

She hadn't wanted to fall in love with him, never him, not a Lutheran!

But dear God help her, she had. She'd fallen in love with him on sight. The love had deepened as they talked, laughed, danced...and had blossomed when they kissed. Oh, that kiss! She could still taste it on her lips, that next day, the touch of his mouth on hers, how it had sent shivers through her body, made her heart flutter like the wings of a frightened butterfly, caused her very first flush of desire to tint her cheeks pink.

So the next day, she went looking for him. When he was nowhere to be found, she went to Anne of Cleves, a woman she now adored, because this woman had bought Phillip to her.

"He had to leave, Lady Mary" Anne of Cleves looked puzzled, "Did he not say? He said he vould tell you"

"Leave?" her lips had framed the words, unable to say them out loud. Anne's face had creased in sympathy, but when she reached out to grasp Mary's hand, Mary jerked away as though she had been slapped.

"Yes, dear Lady, I am very sorry. I know you got on vell vith him. I think you harboured an affection vor him – "

"You have no idea what you speak of, Madam" snapped Mary harshly, resorting to her usual way of coping with grief – pretending that no love had been lost, "I will leave you now. Do not tell your beloved nephew that I asked for him. He means nothing to me"

And now he was back.

Who do you think you are?
runnin' 'round leaving scars
collecting a jar of hearts
tearing love apart
you're gonna catch a cold
from the ice inside your soul
don't come back for me
who do you think you are?

"My Lady Mary" God help her, he was handsomer than ever! Those dark, swarthy looks, glossy curly hair, and such warm, penetrating eyes, eyes that made her feel as though she might swoon into a dead faint. But she would not, of course, for he had hurt her, and she cared nothing for him. Of course.

"Sir" her reply was short and cold. She did not dare even open her mouth, for she knew that words would just come tumbling out. She would not give him the satisfaction.

He looked startled by her frosty response, "I – are you well, Lady Mary?"

"Quite well" she said coolly, but couldn't resist adding, "I am quite well now, though I was not for some time"

"I am sorry that I had to leave with such haste after our previous acquaintance" Phillip responded awkwardly. He hadn't expected her to be so..difficult. He thought that they might just carry on as they had been before.

"It mattered not to me" Mary replied, closing her eyes briefly, hoping to hide the lie.

I hear you're asking all around
if i am anywhere to be found
but i have grown too strong
to ever fall back in your arms

I've learned to live, half alive
and now you want me one more time

"As soon as I arrived I came to find you, Lady Mary" he said, hoping to thaw her.

"I expect that you did, seeing as your Aunt is no longer here and I am the only other courtier with whom you are acquainted" said Mary, sounding unimpressed. Phillip rather wanted to hit something in frustration. Why was she being like this? Had what they had meant something less to her than it had to him?

"Lady Mary, I had hoped that we might continue in our previous friendship. You did not reply to my letters" there, he had said it now.

And indeed, she had not replied to his letters. She had known his handwriting, and had flung them into the fire, unopened. Only once had she cried while doing this. She was strong, let it not be put about that she was feeble.

"I did not have the time nor inclination to reply to your letters" Oh, such a lie! But she could not let him break down the wall she had built, could not let him conquer her only to break her heart again, as he had probably done to countless women before.

Who do you think you are?
runnin' 'round leaving scars
collecting a jar of hearts
and tearing love apart
you're gonna catch a cold
from the ice inside your soul
don't come back for me
who do you think you are?

"Lady Mary, how have I offended you?" Phillip had finally lost his patience; he did have a tendency to be hot-headed, but he loved Mary, with a passion, and had assumed that she felt the same. Their kiss...oh, their kiss, he remembered it like it were yesterday, though it had been so long now.

"You have not offended me at all" Mary lied, angling her body away from him and picking at the embellishments on her dress instead. She had to hide her heart, her pain, and above all, the love in her eyes. She would not give in to him, not as long as she remained her mother's daughter.

"Lady Mary, you are vexing me most highly! I can see quite clearly that I have upset you, for you are so cold towards me, and I beseech you to tell me what I have done so I can put it to rights!"

"You wish to know what you have done? How you have offended me?" Mary had snapped at last, and oh, she would not cry, no! She would be fierce instead, she would not weep! She would use her temper to wound him as he had wounded her, but no tears would fall from her injured eyes.

It took so long just to feel alright
remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
cause you broke all your promises
and now you're back
you don't get to get me back

"Yes! Yes, I must know!" Phillip's eyes were bright with anger, "What have I done?"

"You have broken my heart!" she shrieked, and then wished she had not. What a weak, feminine way to put it! But it was true, she could not deny it.

Phillip's anger abated, his face softened, "So you love me too?"

"I did, once" she would repent for all these lies, God help her.

"But not now?" she had not expected him to look so crestfallen, like she had pierced him through the heart.

"No" she paused, "Just because you have returned, does not mean that you can have me back"

Phillip could say nothing, there were no words for his pain.

"Now if you don't mind" Mary turned away from him, facing her desk, which was piled high with petitions "I have much to do. I bid you a good day, Ph – Sir"

He still could not speak, think, breathe. He could walk though, and he did, because it hurt to be before her in her indifference.

When he was gone, she sobbed.

Who do you think you are?
running around leaving scars
collecting a jar of hearts
and tearing love apart
you're gonna catch a cold
from the ice inside your soul
so don't come back for me
don't come back at all