"Alex Vause was never a lamb, she is the wolf that eats the lamb." / "I am a lone wolf, and a viscous one. Don't make me rip your throat out with my teeth."
[M RATING; SLIGHT GORE, SLIGHT SEX]
She'd never had a pack.
The wolf who'd turned her had done just that and then split, leaving her to figure the rest on her own.
Alex Vause had never believed in werewolves before that night. Never believed in vampires or ghosts. Never believed in God. She was realistic. A pragmatist.
She was rethinking a lot about her life.
She'd been out way too late, a little too drunk, and in a single moment her life had changed. She doesn't remember a lot of it. Doesn't know if that's thanks to the alcohol or the surprise of the attack itself. One moment she'd been stumbling along the street, the next; pain. A searing, blinding pain. And terrible, terrible noise. The screams of a animal, the screams of a woman. And then... nothing. She'd woken up who knows how many hours later, squinting against the afternoon sun, and the air had smelled of copper and rot. There'd been blood. She didn't know how much was her own and how much was... someone (something?) else's. She'd pushed herself to her feet, heaved the contents of her stomach into the foul smelling dumpster beside her, and stumbled haltingly from the alley.
She'd ignored the stares and quite murmurs she'd received as she completed her journey home.
It didn't take long to figure out what had happened. She'd tried to deny it as long as she could. But eventually the truth caught up to her, and Alex Vause had to admit to herself a startling truth she'd never thought would be possible. She had become an animal. And the life she'd once known could be hers no more. She'd thought she could endure it. She'd thought she could fix it. But three near poisonings, one almost overdose, and too many nights spent offering her stomach to the bowels of her toilet had told her otherwise. And then, three days before the full moon, she'd woken up to the white sheets of her bed stained red, and the wails of her neighbor's heartbroken cries at the discovery of the mangled remains of his once-lively dog ringing through the apartment complex. She knew she had to leave.
The first year had been the hardest. Going through the transformations, learning to control the urges, fighting to survive... alone... without help... on her own... she vowed to herself never to bestow that hell on anyone else. And she'd succeeded, for the most part, driven by wild hatred for the curse itself and the one who'd so graciously gifted it to her. She'd lost everything to it. Leaving her mother behind had been the hardest part. But she'd known she couldn't risk her, and that if she stayed any longer the blood lust that coursed through her veins would eventually drive her to kill her own mother. So she'd left. Snuck out with the breaking dawn, leaving nothing but a quiet letter of apology, and the promise that she would always love her.
She'd distanced herself from people that first year. Learning how to control herself in the wilds of the woods and dead untamed land, miles outside the nearest city. A slow and grueling process. She'd wake up in fields, disoriented and confused, missing chunks of her memory, until she slowly learned how to control the beast. Yet she still did not return to civilization right away. The best course being, she'd decided, to slowly creep herself closer and closer in gradual paces. Living on the outskirts of small farming towns, she tested herself.
She'd lasted a little over a year before her second fatality.
A stray sheep that had escaped it's field and wandered too far into her territory. It was her first domesticated kill since her neighbor's dog, and she'd almost allowed it to drive her back into the wilderness indefinitely, if it weren't for the farmer's young son, who'd ventured into the wilds in search of his missing ewe. He'd misstepped while climbing a loosely rocky slope, snapping his ankle, and after listening to his cries for several hours she'd finally emerged to help him. He was relatively light (aided by her increased strength that had slowly taken over her the night she'd first been bitten), and she'd carried him effortlessly across the mile long trek to his house. His family had been extremely grateful, insisting she stay for dinner, and it was all she could do not to sob into her bowl at the first real meal she'd seen in over a year. She'd told them she was a traveler. Hiking throughout the woods, making a new camp every night, living off the earth. Not entirely untrue. They accepted it without question, putting her up in the guestroom for the night. And she allowed herself to doze a handful of hours (because god, how good a real bed felt) before slipping out quietly with the gathering dew of the early morning air.
She'd meandered through towns for awhile after that, picking up odd jobs to keep herself housed and fed.
She was going on four years when she finally returns to the city.
She rents an apartment on the outskirts, close enough to the woods for monthly sheltering in their dark arms, and picks up a job at a small bar within walking distance. It's a quiet place, run down, and older than it means to be. She likes that about it. rarely does it see new faces, and the handful of familiars it caters to each night are hardly the question-asking type. Her boss barely even bats an eye when she quietly requests three days off every month. She figures it has to do with the fact that she rarely takes days off outside of the full moon, but knows it's at least in part due to the nature of the place itself. It's not exactly red light district, and it's not exactly the slums, but it's certainly never going to be featured in any key attractions articles.
She's hedging on five years when she has her moment of weakness.
She'd been feeling particularly lonely lately, something that seems to happen in increasing frequency around this time of year. Her mother's birthday is coming up, and she plans to spend it as she always has since departing from her old life; blind drunk and passed out on her bathroom floor. Expect it's fallen too close to her cycle this year, and her sharpened senses will not allow her the hazy escape she so desperately craves. And so in a broken moment of weakness, she calls her.
But instead of her mother's warm voice, instead of the familiar old click of the answering machine, what she gets is a staticky monotone message; This number has been disconnected. She furls her eyebrows in confusion. It was unlike her mother to change her number. It was unlike her mother to change anything. She'd always been, if anything, a creature of habit. And for her to change something as important as her phone number... it didn't add up. She lets it lie for the night. slinking into work the following evening to quietly ask if she could extend her upcoming three day vacation to seven. Her boss gives a grunt and nod and the rest of the night passes as usual.
She packs a bag, the worn old thing she'd carried with her throughout her years in the wilderness, and begins her journey home. She knows she shouldn't, knows she should stay away, that it'll only be that much harder to maker herself leave again, but she has to know. There's an aching curious concern in the back of her head and she needs to reassure herself that everything is fine or else she might just lose her mind. She finds her old address, stakes out, watches it from afar. There's unfamiliar activity bustling through it and suddenly that low pulsing concern is beating through her brain like the steady drive of a bass drum. Eventually she cannot take it anymore and approaches the almost unfamiliar territory. A woman answers the door (and Alex has never seen her in her life), she looks monetarily confused, asks if she can help her. She asks about her mother, about the woman who used to live her and the woman who lives here now suddenly softens. Pity.
"Oh sweetheart," she begins, "I'm sorry... she died just about a year ago."
And Alex's world shatters.
She thanks the woman for her time, apologizes for bothering her, and doesn't turn around when she calls worryingly after her, asking if she's okay. She's not even sure what the word "okay" means anymore. She walks. Her thoughts are flying in a million different directions all at once and her body goes into autopilot. Her feet remember these streets, her legs know these corners, she lets them guide her as her mind shuts down.
She ends up in a bar. A place she used to sneak into when life was easy and her mother was alive. The place she'd staggered out of on the night that all changed. She doesn't know how long she sits there, downing drink after drink. The bartender gives her an uneasy look, but she's knocked back more drinks than anyone of her stature ever should and has only just recently begun to slur. He slides her another when she glares. The beast inside of her howls, and she finally succeeds in doing what she couldn't do a few nights ago, what had driven here to come all this way in the first place. Finally her senses begin to blur and vision begins to cloud and the roaring thoughts in her head and the howling beast in her veins all begin to muffle to a dull drone.
She drinks until the bartender quietly tells her it's last call, that they'll be closing soon. He looks like he expects her to put up a fight and it's the very hesitance of his gaze that keeps her from doing so. She heaves herself out of her seat and out into the street, stumbling drunkenly down the sidewalk. And isn't this just so fucking fittingly familiar, she thinks. She passes the alleyway, her alleyway, and suddenly she can taste the copper and smell the rot once more. She stumbles against the mouth, leaning heavily against the corner of the nearest building, and once again empties the contents of her stomach into the sodden hovel. She vomits until she's retching up acid and blood, and when she pulls herself to her feet she's disgusted to find her vision returning to normal. Damn these fucking animal senses.
Her mouth tastes of copper and acid and she's wiping irritably at her mouth with the back of her hand when she hears a scream. Her ears perk, and she turns lazily towards the direction of the sound, eyes sweeping the empty streets. Another scream, this time angry, and she moves slowly down the street, following the sounds of a struggle. Good, she thinks bitterly, I could use a good fight tonight.
She's gone two blocks when she begins to pick up other sounds; a thump of flesh colliding with flesh, low snarls, and the quiet grunts of what she assumes to be the screamer. Then she hears it. The unmistakable growl of a predator. And suddenly she's spiriting the last block faster than her legs had ever carried her. She swings around a corner, skidding onto the dead end street and comes face to face with the nightmare that's haunted her for five years.
A woman lay bleeding on the ground, and hunched over her, the animalistic form of a creature that was neither man nor wolf, but some terrifying combination of the two. A beast. The woman's fists bounce feebly off it's chest as she struggles against the attack. The beast turns at the sound of her approach. Alex sees red. And suddenly instinct takes over.
A feral roar bursts from her lungs and she feels her teeth become fangs before the best inside her takes control. She launches herself at the creature, knocking him from atop the woman, and they both go tumbling into the empty street. Everything's flashes of teeth and claws and blood and hair and she's soon got him on the ropes as he stumbles back. The woman coughs feebly behind her and her attention shifts for the briefest moment, allowing the man the opening he needs, he sprints off down the street. Instinct tells her to give chance, the balls of her foot digging hard against the cracked pavement, muscles tensing to push her off after him, when the woman speaks.
"No... please... wait..." Alex falters, her muscles tense, "please..." the woman gasps again around a mouthful of blood, "don't... don't go... I'm..." Her muscles quiver, the best in her growls, "I'm scared."
And suddenly all the tension inside of her melts. She shivers for a moment, fights for control, and exhales.
Then she's filled with a new kind of tension. She turns, and quietly approaches the woman.
She's lying a puddle of blood, most of it her own, and she's shaking. "I think..." she mumbles, clutching at neck, and Alex notices a trickle of blood leaking slowly between her fingers, "I think I might be dying."
There are tears in her eyes. They're blue. So blue. Alex can only hold her gaze for a moment before dropping it to examine her wounds. She gently peels the woman's hand from her neck, praying she won't find what she knows she's going to find. The woman's fingers tremble in Alex's grasp and she strokes her thumb across them gently as she eyes the slowly cauterizing wound on her neck.
"You're not dying, kid..." she whispers, sadly as she watches the last bit of consciousness fade from those startlingly blue eyes, "but you're gonna wish you were."
She doesn't know what prompts her to take her back to her motel. Maybe it's the way her voice had trembled when she'd fearfully called out for Alex to wait. Maybe it's the way her eyes had held Alex's own as her thumb caressed her blood-soaked fingers. Maybe it's the way she'd looked, broken and beaten, in an alley not too far from Alex's own, as her life as she knew it unknowingly died without her. She takes her back to her motel.
It's a simple enough task, slipping her into the room without arising any suspicion. She'd chosen this particular place for it's seedy secrecy to begin with. Her wounds have fully healed by the time Alex drags her into the bathroom, depositing her quietly into the water-stained tub. She detaches the shower head, runs it over the toilet as she plays with the water temperature, settling finally on a gentle lukewarm stream, and brings it to the girl's hair. Gently, she begins to wash the gore from her weakened body. She squirts a palmful of cheap hotel shampoo and works what grim she can from the woman's matted and sticky blonde hair. It's a slow process, and Alex takes her time, carefully removing what she can from the woman's bloodstained clothing and skin before shutting off the water and pulling her from the tub once again.
She deposits the girl on the bed, tucking her gently under the covers before returning to the shower to clean the grime of the night from herself. Eventually, feeling as clean as she figures she's going to, she stretches out alongside the girl and slowly succumbs to sleep.
Her eyes snap open several hours later, alerted to an unfamiliar presence within her space.
The girl is shifting in the bed, hesitantly eyeing her surroundings in a manner that leads Alex to believe she could snap at any moment. Finally her sapphire gaze meets Alex's emerald and it slowly seems to come trickling back to her.
"What..." is all she can manage before clamping her mouth shut and breathing heavily.
Alex tells her to calm down, speaks quietly and soothingly to her until she's sure she's not going to hyperventilate, and then gently lets her know her life as she knows it is over.
Piper. Piper Chapman. Is what she eventually finds her name to be. And Piper Chapman in the harsh light of day is a far cry from the small, scared woman who'd pleaded with Alex to stay with her last night as she took what she thought were her final breaths. Alex puts up with it for as long as she can, and, after much heated discussion, a vehement almost angry explosion of aggressive accusations and denial, a handful of desperate pleas for Alex to stop joking and tell her what really happened, and a near hysterical breakdown, she angrily grabs her things and tells Piper good luck.
She's made it a block in a half before she halts in her place. Filling her lungs with a quiet breath, she slowly reigns herself back under control. She'd allowed herself to get angry, and it was always easier for the beast to take over when she was angry. Especially at this time of the month. As she stands on the sidewalk, slowly filling her lungs with air, and exhaling out her toxins, she begins to remember that first month. That first year. That loneliness and that anger. She begins to remember that fear, the same fear she'd seen reflected in Piper's eyes before they'd boiled over in hard anger. Letting out a final sigh, she turns and slinks back towards the hotel.
She knows there's no sense in approaching the young blonde. Not yet at least. She'd worked herself into a state of denial that would only be broken by witnessing what Alex had been telling her for herself. So she waits. And watches. And when Piper emerges from the room, she follows. The full moon would be rising in 36 hours. And wherever they ended up, Alex could at least make sure Piper Chapman didn't experience her first turn alone. She's only been tailing her for a handful of hours when it begins.
They're sitting in a bar when Alex notices her beginning to get jittery. She'd waited a moment after Piper had pushed through the doors, slipping in quietly and hiding herself in the shadows of a corner booth moments later. Her knuckles are tapping against the counter of the bar and her foot is bouncing restlessly on the leg of her stool. The hand that isn't tapping scratches nervously at the skin of her forearm and she keeps taking notice and stilling her fingers, before her thoughts drift again to other things and the unconscious scratching starts up once more. She sits for a good 40 minutes before suddenly lurching from the bar and heading for the bathrooms. Alex follows.
She's standing in front of the mirror, running her fingers shakily through her hair as she studies her reflection. Her gaze darts towards the door as Alex eases it open and slips in, and her eyes flash in wild anger for a moment before settling into a sick sort of nervousness.
"What's happening to me?" She demands shakily.
"I already told you." Alex answers calmly.
"Bullshit." she scoffs, "Oh bullshit, Alex. Werewolves? How stupid do you think I am? What the fuck did you do to me!?" Alex says nothing, shaking her head quietly as the girl whirls to face her. She fixes Alex with another look of red hot rage before her face suddenly cracks. "What's happening to me?"
Her voice is thick with unshed tears and wild fear when she asks this time and for a moment Alex thinks she might have to blink back her own.
"You don't have to go through it alone." She eventually murmurs.
And the overwhelming fight that's been coursing through the girl's veins quiets as she finally concedes.
She takes her outside the city, arriving a few hours before nightfall. Just enough time for them to get setup and comfortable. Enough time for her to allay as many of Piper's quiet fears as she can. She's got enough of a hold on her own wolf to be able to keep an eye out for Piper when hers inevitably takes full control. She promises her she won't let her out of her sight, won't leave her to suffer this alone.
It's painful watching the transformation take hold. She's temporarily transported back to her own first time. A jarring, snapping uncontrollable contortion in which you slowly lose track of yourself as your body betrays you in the worst way. She eases into her own, keeping a close eye on Piper. Once complete, the young wolf stands stalk still for a moment, ears pricked, muscles tight, beast at the ready. And suddenly she's off. Tearing through the woods with wild reckless abandon and it's all Alex can do to keep up.
It's a new sensation, she muses, as she meets the younger girl's pace stride for stride, running with another. And later when they're both laying, tangled and spent under the slowly setting moon, she'll realize that a part of her had enjoyed it. But for now she allows Piper's wolf to run free, guiding her here and there when she needs it. They run through the night weaving between trees, darting over hills, ducking through logs. Piper finally slows some hours later, an inclined clearing giving them an unobscured view of the large white moon. She eyes it quietly for a moment, as if contemplating it's new role in her life, before letting out a long low howl. It tampers moodily off, echoing against the surrounding foothills, bouncing off the far off mountains, and she listens to it's fading keen before letting loose another one. Alex joins her. And together they cry at the moon until Piper's muscles burn for her to run again.
Alex angles them back towards the way they came, Piper content to allow her some control as the moon begins it's decent above them. They reach their camp just before dawn and Alex collapses tiredly against the base of a tree as Piper trots up behind her. She can't remember the last night she'd run so hard and so far. She's fighting to keep her eyes open when Piper drops down beside her. They eye each other a moment, before curling into one another and watching the moon's final moments before it dips below the treeline.
And that's how it begins.
Piper is a wild young thing, terrified out of her mind and angry at the world and she attaches herself to Alex in a manner that leaves them both annoyed. Fiercely independent, yet terrified of being alone she scorns Alex's condescending teachings and desperately yearns for her guidance.
She ends up taking her back to her apartment with her. Turns out Piper's life is much easier to leave behind than Alex's ever was, and she sometimes finds herself torn between stewing envy and quiet admiration for it. Piper takes up residence on her pull-out, insisting it's fine, that after a week in the woods it's practically a night at the Hilton. And they fall into an easy routine. Alex hasn't needed to spend her weekends in the woods for quite some time, barely needs to afford a monthly visit anymore at this point, really only keeps it up because it feels better to let the wolf loose under the moon than it does to keep it caged. But Piper's presence has her suddenly taking a few more days off throughout the month. Suddenly has her spending the majority of her free time in the open wild instead of boxed quietly in her apartment.
It takes her awhile to gain control of her wolf. Though not as long as it could have, Alex muses. She's note entirely sure Piper would have managed on her own. Is suddenly, for the first time, glad she had. Because somewhere along the line it'd begun to feel like she'd not only survived for herself, but for Piper as well. She never dwells on it, but it DOES tug at the back of her mind on those cool nights they spend camping in the woods, Piper dozing by the dying light of the fire, chasing an endless cycle of fever dreams.
She's volatile. Feral in a way Alex never was, and sometimes she finds herself wondering if Piper hand't always had the beast in her veins. She merges with it in a way Alex never could, giving herself over to it with a fluid ease, almost as if she trusted it. Where Alex runs her own with a tight control, Piper succumbs to hers with a reckless abandon. Alex and her beast are at odds. Piper and her's are one. It's something Alex envies at times. And something she scorns at others.
They're three days from another full moon the first time Piper snaps.
She nearly kills a man in a dingy bar for slapping her ass. Alex can hardly blame her for the anger, she'd been ready to knock the man flat herself, but it doesn't end at anger. It was a snapfire anger that quickly burned to a seething rage before exploding into wild blood lust. The man was crying by the time Alex finally managed to pull the rabid blonde from him. She manages to pull her from the bar and down a maze of alleys, disappearing into the night before the cops can arrive. Piper struggles the entire way, spitting fire and wild flailing limbs before finally twisting herself free. Her rage redirects itself at Alex and in the moment before she can attack, Alex catches her eye. Gone are all traces of Piper Chapman. In it's place is nothing but the feral wolf. She feels her own teeth spiking as Piper's muscles tighten and suddenly they're struggling against one another wildly.
Piper's not experienced enough yet, doesn't know how to transition as smoothly and willfully as Alex. But Piper's not in control anymore. The wolf is. And Alex almost feels a wave of fear as Piper's nails sharpen and her teeth grow out. They're all snapping teeth and twisting limbs as they struggle to overpower one another and Piper sinks her teeth deeply into Alex's bicep before she can regain her hold on her. She cries out in pain as Piper's teeth sink to their hilt into her muscle. She feels her own wolf budding for control and she's nearly overwhelmed with the onslaught of attacks between the two. In a desperate attempt to shove her wolf back down and end this struggle before they both lose control and go tearing through the city, she takes advantage of Piper's distraction with her bicep to snap the bones of her forearm with a sickening crunch.
Piper staggers back, momentarily blinded by pain and lets out a low keening noise. Her eyes are wide and Alex catches a glimpse of the familiar blonde in them as she regains control over her wolf. They're both panting heavily as they stagger to opposite ends of the alleyway, fighting quietly to calm their inner storms and throbbing pains. Eventually Piper speaks. A soft broken apology slipping from her lips, cracked and wet. Scared. She's cradling her arm to her chest and a slow line of tears begin to trek down her flushed cheeks.
Alex sighs.
They walk back in silence.
She sets her bones gently when they reach the apartment, depositing her on her pull-out and pulling out a first aid kit. Wrapping her arm in a makeshift sling, Alex tucks it tenderly against the blonde's chest.
"I'd give you painkillers but you'd need about 400 to feel anything." She murmurs softly, "It'll heal quickly enough though."
Piper nods. She's silent for the rest of the night.
Alex takes an extra day off, and they spend nearly four solid days tearing through the open woods. Piper seems more at ease with the unbridled freedom, but she can still sense the lingering guilt in the way they interact.
"Hey," she says softly, catching the blonde's attention over the quietly crackling fire one night, "I'm proud of you." Piper's eyes shine with something she can't quite place before returning to the flames between them, "I mean it." she pushes. "You're way past where I was at this point. And you're gonna lose control every once in awhile. It happens." she pauses, holding the blonde's blindingly blue gaze for a moment before continuing, voice suddenly softer, "That's why we have each other."
The barest of smiles tugs across her lips, the first sign Alex has seen in days, and she returns it gently with a desperate sort of relief.
They stick to places they know after that.
The quiet bar down the street, the rundown library that rarely attracts anyone other than a handful of quiet old ladies and themselves, and Alex's bar.
She surprised the first night she sees Piper push through the doors, pausing in the threshold to size up her surroundings. She eases when she catches sight of Alex, moving deeper into the room to slide herself onto one of the stools across from the older woman. Alex allows her a restrained grin.
"What're you doin' here?"
"Thought I'd come see what all the fuss is about." Piper says casually, eyes raking over the decor, and Alex laughs a genuine laugh.
She hovers around the blonde when she's not busy, and even though no words are exchanged they seem to hold a million conversations. Alex wonders if its the wolves in them, communicating through a plane neither of them can quite grasp, or if it's something purely them. An unsung connection binding them quietly together in a way the wolves could never understand.
They begin to make a habit of it.
Piper dropping in whenever Alex is working a later shift, slipping quietly onto a vacant stool, and watching her silently as she tends to the bar and her patrons. Alex doesn't quite realize how much she enjoys it until the night Piper doesn't show. She tries to ignore the twinge of disappointment in her chest every time the little bell above the door rings to usher in someone other than her grinning blonde. She definitely ignores the possessive twinge that had possessed her to begin calling Piper as any sort of hers.
It's a decent night for once, and another woman wanders in, catching sight of Alex, and saunters over to the bar. They get to chatting and flirting and Alex's mind is once again in a state of ease when her eyes flick away from the woman before her to focus on the door. Her gaze lands on the heavy wood of the door just before the bell above it jingles, and the door itself swings open. Piper.
She falters in the doorway, catching sight of Alex leaning into the woman, before furrowing her brows and continuing towards the bar.
"Hey." She calls softly as she slips into a stool a few seats down.
Alex's gaze flicks to her, a slight nod, before returning to the woman before her. She'd been in the middle of telling her some sort of story, and Alex would be a liar if she said she wasn't a little bit pissed at Piper for showing up so late. The woman's story concludes with burst of laughter from the both of them and her gaze flicks towards Piper once more as the woman finishes off her drink. She runs her hand down Alex's forearm, smiling charmingly before murmuring that she'd be right back and not to go anywhere. Alex's eyes track her the whole way to the bathroom before finally sliding down to land on Piper.
The blonde is all but seething when Alex finally saunters over to her with a smirk, already in the process of mixing her her favorite order.
"You seem to be having a good time." She drawls, and Alex is intrigued at the slight bite in her tone.
"Well... I mean, I could hardly wait around for you all night."
Piper's gaze is sharp when she meets her eye, and Alex suddenly finds herself interested in seeing how far she can push this. "I wasn't aware we had a date."
"We didn't." Alex smirks, quietly studying the moody irritability hanging over the blonde, before nodding her head in the direction of the bathrooms, "But she might. If ya know what I mean." She finishes with a wink, backing away as the woman reappeared, making her way back over to the bar.
Piper's nostrils flair adorably as she refocuses her attention on her drink. The woman returns to her previously unoccupied stool, immediately slipping back into easy conversation with the brunette. Piper watches them from the corner of her eye for a moment before rolling her eyes and downing her drink. Setting the glass against the bartop with a little more force than necessary, she slides from her stool and heads toward the back of the bar.
Gaze landing on her at the soft bang of her glass against the counter, Alex watches with a sudden sinking feeling as Piper makes her way towards the exit. Great, way to go Vause, now you've pissed her off. Just as she'd been about to pull away from the woman before her, however, Piper turns, angling for the jukebox. Ah.
She cocks her hip, thumbing quietly through the selection for a moment before settling on something with a nice slow drawl. Her hips sway gently to the music for a beat before she turns, locking eyes with Alex. Alex watches quietly over the woman's shoulder as Piper begins to mouth the lyrics along with the song. Her attention stays focused on Alex as she dips her head, the rest of her body coming into tune with the music, before her eyes dart to the right, landing on a man who'd been watching her for the last several minutes. She begins to sing quietly to him instead, grinning as he sets aside his beer and makes his way over to her.
Alex feels something inside her tighten as the man sidles up against her blonde, feels the beast in her growl as his hands land on Piper's hips, and nearly shatters the glass in her hands when Piper leans into him to whisper something. Suddenly livid she doesn't notice the woman asking her what's wrong until a soft hand lands against her forearm. She jolts, nearly dropping the glass she'd been aggressively over-cleaning. She offers a quick smile, apologizes, leans in once more, waits until the woman is satisfied enough with her attention before sliding her gaze over her shoulder once more to focus on Piper.
Piper's blue eyes meet her own over the shoulder of the man as she slides her arms around his waist, burying the tips of her fingers in the tops of his back pockets as they sway together. The wolf inside Alex howls.
She watches them move against each other for the remainder of the song, until the man moves in once more, murmuring something that makes Piper laugh. She grabs her jacket, moving to follow him out the door when Alex tosses down her rag.
"Lou!" She growls in the direction of her boss, "I'm goin' on my break."
She brushes past the eagerly smiling woman. Catching Piper's elbow just before she slips through the second set of doors, she tugs her back into her with more force than she'd intended to and Piper raises an eyebrow, gaze flicking between the hand at her elbow and Alex's eyes. They stand staring at one another in the tiny entryway.
"You are not going home with him." Alex growls.
Piper's face is a mask, "No?" her gaze jumps from Alex's, sweeping across the room to land on the set of doors behind her, doors that lead into the night, doors that lead away from Alex. "It's looks like I am." She murmurs with false apology.
"Piper, I swear to god if you go home with that man, the second my shift ends I will not hesitate to hunt you down."
"Is that a promise?" Piper whispers.
"It's a threat." Alex growls. And suddenly their faces are impossibly close to one another, and when the hell did that happen?
"Is there a difference?" Piper's voice, barely more than a whisper.
Alex doesn't answer and the blonde turns to leave once more. Then suddenly Alex's arm is tugging her sharply back. She stumbles slightly in surprise at the force of it, colliding with Alex's chest hard enough to make them both grunt softly. And then they're kissing.
Their mouths meet in a wild gasping mash of teeth and lips. There's a low rumble rolling quiety from Alex's chest as her hand leaves Piper's elbow to join her other in cupping her jaw. Piper's fingers bury themselves in the material at Alex's shoulders and she whines softly into the demanding onslaught. They stand locked in their heated embrace as the force of the kisses start to slow. Soon their lips move slowly, gently. Alex pulls apart to rest their foreheads together exhaling quietly with another low growl.
"You'd better fucking be at home when I get there." She whispers against Piper's panting lips.
Piper says nothing, leaning in for another slow kiss. She meets Alex's eye when they pull away and it's all the answer Alex needs. Letting her go with a soft sigh, their eyes remain locked until Piper disappears through the doors and out into the night. Alex runs a hand through her hair, attempting to catch her breath, calm her body, recollect herself, before turning to push through the set of doors leading back into the bar. She doesn't speak to the woman again. Brushes past her without so much as a glance before sliding behind the bar and beginning as many of her nightly closing duties as she can.
And the next four hours are the longest of Alex's life.
Piper's waiting for her when she arrives home, and they circle each other silently for a moment as Alex discards her jacket. Eventually Piper approaches, sliding slowly up to her until their fronts are pressing lightly against each other. Alex waits as she tilts her head, running her nose along the curve of Alex's jawline before finally connecting their lips. Her hands rise to cup at Piper's jaw once more, pulling the younger girl into her more fully. Piper's hands dip across her hips, sliding up her back, and Alex slowly maneuvers them to the bedroom.
They start slow, exploring each other quietly with a timid sort of gentleness, as if afraid of scaring one another off. But it doesn't last, the wolves in them eventually taking over as they tussle, tangling themselves in the sweaty sheets. Piper laughs and Alex growls. Piper whines and Alex hums. Piper moans and Alex gasps. Their bodies twist and turn and tangle around each other as if they've always been created for this very moment. They leave teeth marks across each other's jaws, throats, and collarbones, scratch marks down one another's backs, arms, and thighs. They fuck hard and they fuck fast, slowing gently as the come to completion before starting right back up again.
Alex can't remember the last time she's had sex like this. The last time she's had anything more than a quick cheap fuck in the back of a bar, or a unsatisfying one night stand that'd left her feeling more needy than she had to begin with. She knows it's been awhile since Piper had had sex. She's never smelled the scent on her for as long as they've been together, and there's never been a night in which the blonde was not curled silently on her couch since she'd arrived.
Eventually they slow again, finishing each other off with long languid thrusts of fingers buried deep between one another's legs. They hold each other's eyes throughout, until Piper can't hold hers open anymore, throwing her head back with a soft gasp as she she comes apart warmly over Alex's fingers. Alex isn't far behind, throwing herself over the edge immediately after, as if chasing Piper headlong into oblivion.
They curl against each other, much like the wolves do on nights spent in the woods, running after the full moon. Piper buries herself in the comforter as Alex drags it over them, then turns to curl her own body around Piper's spine. She tucks her face against Piper's neck, breathing deeply and humming softly, and Piper returns the quiet noise with a gentle kiss to Alex's knuckles before lacing their fingers. The wolves in them are silent, and Alex struggles to stay awake a little longer to bask in what it feels like. But she doesn't last, slipping quickly to sleep in the thick, heady air of the bedroom.
Things are relatively uneventful for awhile after that as they explore this new aspect to their relationship.
Alex no longer has to work quite so hard at controlling her wolf, and Piper's snapfire rages are easily diminished as quickly as they come. They take some time off, traveling to different areas, losing themselves deeper in the woods. Alex comments to Piper one night as they're tangled quietly in their sleeping bag, eyes on the dying light of the fire, that she's never felt such a calm with the beast before. She tells her she thinks she might love her.
"Careful," Piper murmurs quietly, "wolves mate for life."
And they're silent for a moment before Alex laughs softly, "Well then I guess I'm certain I love you."
And Piper grins her sleepy grin that Alex can never resist, leaning up to press a slow and gentle kiss to Alex's own grinning lips, and murmurs "Then I'm certain I love you too."
And things are good.
For awhile.
Alex slips into the apartment quiet and on edge one night after finishing her shift at the bar. Piper wanders quietly from the bedroom at the sound of her presence and pauses in the hallway, watching as Alex stalks to the kitchen, running a hand through her hair. She creeps up behind her, sliding her arms around the older woman's waist and tucking her chin against her shoulder. Alex's muscles slowly relax under Piper's warmth.
"What's wrong?" She murmurs, lips brushing lightly at Alex's jawline.
"Nothing. I..." she falters, uncaps a beer, takes a swig, collects herself. Piper waits. "I met someone tonight."
"What do you mean?" Piper asks softly.
"I met another wolf." She murmurs.
Piper slides out from behind her to duck between her chest and the counter, "What?"
Alex nods, eyes faraway, as she thinks, "I met another wolf. She came into the bar, like she was looking for me. Mentioned that she'd smelled me around, drifting around the outskirts of her territory."
"Was she angry?" Piper asks somewhat nervously.
"No..." Alex murmurs, ducking her head, meeting her gaze, "She has a pack."
"A pack? How many?"
"I dunno, she didn't say. But they want to meet us. She told me she knew I wasn't completely alone, and that wolves aren't solitary creatures and that we should consider grouping up with them. She invited us to meet them."
"Is it safe?" Piper asks quietly.
"I think if she'd wanted to kill us she could have done so a good while ago. From the way she was talking they've been keeping tabs on us for awhile."
They're silent a moment, Alex watching Piper closely as she chews over this information before raising her eyes to meet Alex's once more, "What do you think?"
She sighs, "I think we should give it a go. She seemed... nice. And maybe we do need a pack."
Piper withdraws at that, pulling back slightly and gazing around the room. "Yeah," she murmurs absently, stepping away from Alex and moving back towards the bedroom.
Alex watches her go with a sigh, finishing her beer quietly before tugging her shirt over her head and following her down the hall.
They love each other slowly that night, speaking only through the animals inside them and their slow gentle touches. Eventually Piper falls asleep tucked against Alex's chest, and she runs her fingers through her blonde hair for awhile, lost in thought, before finally following her into slumber.
Nicky, is her name, and she shows up at the bar several more times throughout the next few weeks. She greets Piper warmly when she finally meets her, with an appreciative look and a charming grin. Piper returns it with reserve. They're talking freely by the end of the night though, and Nicky departs with a happy, "Great! I'll see you next week then, you're welcome to spend the entire weekend, get a feel for the group, see how a real pack functions with the change of the moon. Lookin' forward to seein' ya! You're in for a real treat." She knocks her knuckles twice against the bartop before slipping off into the night.
Alex meets Piper's eye over the counter, a silent conversation before Piper finally mutters, "She was nice." Alex smirks, dropping her attention to the glass she'd been cleaning as Piper continues, "I still don't know though..."
"Hey," setting the glass aside, Alex tucks a knuckle under Piper's chin, leading her gaze to her own. She strokes a thumb across Piper's jaw, coaxing out a small smile before murmuring, "It's going to be fine. And if you don't want to stick around then we won't stick around. We'll be together the whole time, nothing bad is going to happen. I promise. It's gonna be okay, kid."
Piper's face washes over in that gently trusting smile that Alex adores with a heavy sense of obligation, and she turns to press a kiss against Alex's lightly stroking thumb, "Okay."
Piper's skittish when Nicky introduces them to her pack, and Alex uses every opportunity to keep some sort of calming contact with her; a hand at the small of her back, fingers against the crook of her arm, an arm slung loosely around her shoulders. It helps, though not much. It's a small pack (that helps too), comprised of a handful of women, old and young. An all female pack, Alex notes with an odd sense of relief. She's only truly met a male wolf once in her life, and she's not entirely sure she's able to trust them. Not after watching Piper's blood drip from his jaws as he turned to face the woman who'd interrupted his meal. It's an image that still haunts her on long cold nights.
Nicky takes them around, making quite introductions, there's about eleven of them in total. Used to be more, but they'd recently lost a few, Nicky explains. Old age, lost fights, drug addictions. She lastly takes them to meet Red, the group's silently elected leader. A hard old thing she comes off more as a bear than a wolf and she looks them over with gruff acceptance before releasing them.
"She likes you!" Nicky titters laughingly as they head back out.
They stay with them for the weekend, joining them as they turn under the moon and stalk through the forest, a practiced machine of movement. They stick close together, never leaving one another's side. Eventually Nicky convinces them to stay, and Alex lets go of her old job, their old apartment, moving what little they have to the block the pack resides in. There's no need for them to work, the pack pulls the weight as a unit, keeping one another alive and fed with a shared sense of responsibility. Red has her own sort of business, an off the books trade, and they each put their time into it, hauling boxes, transporting goods, arranging meetups between between investors.
Though still weary, Piper eventually establishes some sort of mutual respect for the older woman. They'd butted heads at first, Piper's stubborn strong-willed resolve clashing with the woman's own bullheaded regime. She refused to tell Alex anything of it though, insisted it was fine, until finally, one day, it was. She's not entirely sure what went down between them in the few hours they'd spend apart in work, she's just glad they've sorted it out. Civilly. And without bloodshed.
Despite their acceptance, neither of them really settles in, never feeling quite as secure in the pack as they had in their own needlepoint existence. Piper begins growing jittery. Cagey and irritable in a way Alex had rarely seen since they'd begun the physical aspect of their relationship. And she begins to distance herself.
They're out with Nicky one night when the wild haired woman casually throws a suggestive comment at Alex, winking with a teasing leer. Piper growls instantly, deep in her chest, and Nicky backs away with her arms raised in surrender.
"Woah, easy there tiger!" She laughs, "All in good fun, I know she's spoken for. 'Can smell you two's scent all over each other."
Piper steps down, but her muscles stay tight for the rest of the night until Alex finally coaxes them into relaxation a few hours later between their sheets.
Alex asks her if she's okay and she tells her she's fine. She asks again and Piper tells her not to push it. She knows she's not fine but she also knows to let it rest until Piper decides to let her in. They stay with the group for several months, learning how to live within a pack. Nicky sometimes refers to it as her family, but Alex can never quite bring herself to call it as such. She's not sure Piper can either. They're a pack. Nothing more. And the thought that maybe there was something wrong with them tugs at Alex's mind sometimes before she chases it away, burying her face against the warm skin of Piper's neck and shoulders.
Nothing ever feels as whole as being with Piper.
Eventually though, Piper snaps. Nearly kills another person outside of a bar one night. She's a customer of Red's. A small mouthy thing who Red only tolerates for the people she's connected to. Piper's routes have been forcing them into contact with one another for the better part of two months before she finally loses patience with the girl's taunting and beats her half to death outside the bar they typically meet at.
Alex doesn't hear about it until it's too late, occupied by her own routes. She shows up at the complex some hours later and runs straight into Nicky, who catches her with palms raised and a nervous request to stay calm. She explains that Piper had gotten into some trouble on her run, nearly killed one of Red's contacts before Boo could haul her away. She'd done a number on Boo, herself, in the fallout. And Red was livid.
She pushes past Nicky, lost in her own anger and worry. Demanding to know where she was, where they'd put her. Nicky follows her, begging her to calm down, explaining that it'd been for Piper's own safety, as her wild rage had all but consumed her. She eventually gives up, leading Alex to the empty room they'd secured the girl in after the angry brunette had taken her by the lapels of her jacket and slammed her back against the wall. She cracks the door, allowing Alex to slip through before shutting it once more.
It's dark in the room, and Alex's senses take a second to adjust before landing on Piper's trembling form. She's hunched in the corner, hands buried in her hair as her body tremors with uncontrollable shakes. Alex approaches hesitantly, so as not to startle her. She calls out softly, "Pipes...", and Piper's head snaps up at her low voice. She launches herself into Alex's arms, a vibrating ball of terror and rage, and breaks down.
"Alex," She moans, "Alex, I killed her, didn't I? I killed her."
"What," Alex mumbles, attempting to put some space between them, attempting to catch her eye, "No, Piper, you didn't- she's not dead, you didn't kill her. It's alright. Take a breath. Breathe. Calm down. Shhh..."
Eventually she coaxes her down enough to pull away, meeting her watery blue eyes as her thumb wipes away the wet trails of her tears.
"Red's mad," Piper whispers, "I hurt Boo."
"Yeah you did," Alex murmurs, tucking her hair behind her ears, "but she'll heal. What about you? Are you okay?"
Piper nods, swallowing thickly, before seeming to change her mind. "No." she cries softly.
"Oh, Pipes..." Alex sighs, tucking Piper's face against her neck.
They stand silently for a long time.
No one's around when they slip back into the hallway, probably in a meeting to discuss Piper's fate, and they return to their own room quietly. Packing their things, Piper sits dejectedly, watching Alex gather everything.
Nicky catches them in the hall when they slip from the room, beginning their departure.
She doesn't try to stop them. Instead trails after them for awhile before speaking.
"Y'know..." she begins, "I used to think a wolf without a pack was trouble waitin' to happen. A death wish, a'sorts. But now I'm not so sure. I think maybe some of us are better off alone. And maybe those loners are better off together." She sighs, coming to a stop as they reach the end of the block, "I'm not gonna pretend I won't worry about ya. But I'm also not gonna pretend you two aren't more than capable of lookin' after one another in a way the rest of us don't quite understand. We're not gonna give chase. Red's mad, but she'll get over it." She cracks a sad smile, eyes flicking between the two of them thoughtfully, "you two never quite believed you belonged here, anyway, huh? And maybe that was partly our fault, but hey, like I said... maybe some of us are just better off alone." Nodding thoughtfully, she begins to turn, heading back, before pausing, "take care a'yourselves... take care a'each other. And come visit sometime, huh? After this all blows over. Maybe give it a few years?" She laughs, joking.
They travel aimlessly after that, moving deep into the woods, a silent mutual understanding. They need to distance themselves from the world for awhile.
They've been walking for the better part of the day before Piper finally murmurs, "Alex." and Alex tilts her head, letting her know she's listening. "You don't... You don't have to come with me." she whispers, "I know that... you've always wanted a pack, and I'm the one who it fucked up. I should be the one who leaves. You shouldn't have to give up anything else. Not because of me."
Alex stills, dropping the slow ambling pace they've since been keeping, and turns to face the blonde fully. Piper's eyes are studying the forest floor, her fingers twisting tightly against the straps of her backpack. "Are you fucking kidding me?" Alex demands softly, and Piper's eyes snap to her own, "Piper... I'm not going anywhere without you. And you're not going anywhere without me. I already have a pack," she murmurs, stepping quietly towards the younger girl's space, "and wolves mate for life."
Piper watches her quietly for a moment, her eyes filling with thick tears, but she does not allow them to fall. Finally she seems to find what she was looking for in Alex's patiently waiting gaze and a heavy, wet laugh breaks from her lungs. That blooming smiles Alex loves is stretching across her lips and neither of them are entirely sure of who moved first but suddenly their mouths are dancing against each other as their fingers tangle in the fabric of one another's clothing.
The wolves who'd turned them may have abandoned them, leaving them for death, to fight for survival alone in a terrifyingly cruel new world.
But Alex Vause and Piper Chapman had made a pack.
And they were all they needed.
I could potentially write a follow-up afterwards to this. But for now let's not get too eager, huh?
[edit] also, I've received some crazy supportive comments throughout the last few chapters and I just want you guys to know that they mean a lot to me. Seriously. Some of the things you guys say really remind me of why I post here. Thank you. /