Sorry this chapter took a little longer to post – life got in the way a little bit. As always, I so appreciate the reviews – especially now that I'm going beyond where the books end. I hope you all enjoy it!

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Chapter 32

It had been several years since Jaime had been home to Casterly Rock. They were only a few days away and Jaime looked forward to putting his years in King's Landing behind him. He realized now how much he'd missed his home; how much he'd hated being in the Kingsguard. He found that he was rather anxious to reach Lannisport, so that he could get Sansa off the road and begin their new life together. Casterly Rock was to be where they raised their children. It was to be their home.

He hoped Sansa would find happiness there. He knew that Winterfell would always be her home, but he hoped she would come to see Casterly Rock as her home as well. He had written ahead to the staff before leaving the capitol to ensure that the castle was ready for their arrival. Sansa was to have his mother's old rooms – which had been untouched since her death. He had sent orders for his mother's rooms – as well as his father's old rooms – to be completely redone to his specifications. He wanted Casterly Rock to be perfect for Sansa.

Jaime knew that Sansa would never truly be happy until she had a relationship with her mother again. He wasn't sure what he could do about Lady Catelyn's anger and hostility towards her daughter. His only hope was that she loved her daughter more than she hated him. That she would see how much harm she was causing Sansa – and herself – when she disowned her daughter.

Then there was the matter of Sansa's wayward sister. So far, Arya Stark didn't seem to have the deep hatred for him that Lady Catelyn did; and she didn't seem to have any anger towards Sansa, beyond normal sisterly squabbles, which relieved him. He didn't know if Sansa could take another family member turning their back on her. Jaime still wasn't entirely convinced that the child wouldn't try to escape, so he made sure she was kept far from her mother for the time being. The reward of seeing her mother was the one thing he knew would keep the willful little thing in check.

Jaime spotted Edmure Tully riding with the hundred men specifically assigned to guard him. He rode over to speak to his hostage. "Lord Tully." As Jaime approached, his soldiers fell back, giving Jaime and Edmure distance in order to speak privately.

"Kingslayer."

Jaime gritted his teeth in annoyance at his insistence on calling him Kingslayer. "I apologize if my presence offends. I merely wished to let you know that your lady wife is comfortably sharing Sansa's carriage. She seemed in good health when I introduced them. If it matters to you at all." Edmure still had not asked to see Lady Roslin. Jaime had begun to wonder why he'd even requested that she accompany them to Casterly Rock.

Edmure looked down, appearing to regret the disrespectful nickname, before addressing Jaime once again. "Thank you. I'm glad Roslin fares well. How does…is Sansa all right? My sister should not have said the things she said to her. I'm certain she did not mean it."

"Her daughter believes she meant it. I would have thought that a woman who has lost so many children would be grateful to have one in her arms again. Had I known that Lady Catelyn would hurt Sansa as she did, I would have left her to rot at the Twins."

"It was…a shock to her to learn that Sansa carries your child….that she believes herself to be in love with you." Jaime chuckled bitterly to himself at his choice of words. Believes herself to be in love with you. "I'll own, I see that you have been kind to her…perhaps even care for her in your own way. But the bad blood between your families -"

"If that's your feeling, I wonder why you would ask for Lady Roslin to accompany us to Casterly Rock. Certainly there is a great deal of bad blood, as you say, between the Tullys and the Freys – between your families - after the Red Wedding."

Edmure was quiet after that for a few minutes, but he spoke up again.

"Whatever she feels for you now, we both know Sansa didn't have a choice about this marriage. She could not have refused you. But you could have refused her. Why did you marry my niece?"

Jaime looked ahead, unable to resist provoking Edmure. He certainly had no intention of being honest with him about his feelings for Sansa; about how broken he was when he returned to King's Landing; or about how much he needed to save the sweet girl who looked at him and saw a protector.

"I'd be a fool to refuse to marry a beautiful, innocent young girl. She is very sweet…affectionate. I can see why good old Ned kept her hidden away in the wilds of the North." He could see that Edmure was angered by his words and relented, a bit. "I was fond of Sansa the day I married her, and that fondness has only increased in the months we have been married."

"Was it really as bad for Sansa in the capitol as she said?"

Jaime was reluctant for Edmure to know what exactly Sansa had been through, but Jaime hoped he would communicate what Sansa had endured in King's Landing to Lady Catelyn. That perhaps if she understood what her daughter had been through, she would understand. "It was worse. When I arrived in Kings Landing, I found her naked and bleeding, being whipped by the Kingsguard as Joffrey watched. As punishment for her brother Robb's treachery. And I suspect as entertainment for Joffrey. Sansa told me that it was a regular occurrence once Ned Stark was beheaded and her brother proclaimed himself King in the North."

"Your sister allowed this?"

Jaime met his eyes briefly, before staring straight ahead. "My sister had planned to allow Joffrey to keep Sansa as his mistress – his whore – upon his marriage to Margaery Tyrell until I agreed to marry her myself. Do you actually think Cersei would care if he beat her?"

That silenced Edmure for good.

"I would have thought your sister would be kinder to her daughter. Especially a daughter who is as gentle as Sansa. As kind. I don't like to see her unhappy…less so now that she's with child. Sansa should be able to turn to her mother. She spent more than a year praying every day for nothing more than to be reunited with her family. Only to be cast aside because of what she had to do to survive."

"You didn't honestly expect my sister to be happy about Sansa's feelings for you?"

"No. But I never dreamed she'd prefer to see her daughter miserable. I never imagined she'd prefer to see her daughter raped every night by her husband, in a marriage filled with hate and cruelty. I don't know how she could want that for Sansa, but it appears she does. I don't understand how she could be angry at her daughter for finding a way to be happy."

Edmure didn't seem to have a response for that.

"If Lady Catelyn wants to blame someone for our marriage – for her daughter believing she loves me - she can blame me. She can blame me for having the temerity to be kind to her daughter. She can hate me for refusing to be cruel to her daughter; for doing what was within my power to make her daughter happy. She shouldn't hate Sansa for that." Jaime wheeled his horse away, leaving Edmure to think about his words.

…..

Sansa and Roslin sat across from one another in awkward silence. Jaime had introduced them before sealing them up in the carriage but now that they were alone, they weren't sure what to say to each other, and looked at each other uncertainly.

"I – I thank you for allowing me to travel with you, Lady Lannister," she said quietly. Sansa could see that she was uncertain as to how she would be received by Robb Stark's sister.

Sansa smiled shyly. "Please call me Sansa. Would it be all right if I called Roslin?"

"Of course. Your lord husband is very kind to take me with you to Casterly Rock. He's been very generous with me."

Sansa smiled softly. "He tells me that my uncle asked that you accompany us. Lord Tully must be fond of you. Have you seen him since -" she stopped, not meaning to discuss the Red Wedding.

"I am sorry," Roslin whispered. "I…I didn't know…how to stop it and…I didn't have a choice. I didn't know they would do that to…I didn't know my father would desecrate your brother's body like that."

Sansa met the girl's eyes and could see that she spoke the truth. "Did you father wish you to be my brother's queen that badly?"

"My father has always ambitious and proud. When he feels that someone has not shown him the proper respect he…well it upsets him greatly. He said it was an insult that they would offer the Lord of Riverrun as a husband for me in place of the King in the North. That Robb Stark had promised. But…Edmure was very pleasant to me. I believe would have liked to be his lady wife."

"You are his wife."

Roslin nodded, resting her hand on her stomach. "I suppose I am. Though he is no longer Lord of Riverrun and he must blame me. He must hate me," she finished with a whisper. "He has every right to. My only hope is that he does not hate our child."

Sansa felt a connection with Roslin Tully and was glad that Lady Tully would be living at the Rock. She found she was desperate for another female to talk with; for a friend to confide in. They were of the same age and both were torn between their families and their husbands. Sansa could see that Lady Roslin had great affection for her uncle Edmure. She couldn't help wondering if she felt any guilt over her love for her husband as Sansa sometimes did for how much she loved Jaime.

"He won't hate your child. It will be his child, too. And he would not have asked Jaime to bring you with us if he hated you or your child. It must be difficult to be put in the middle of your husband and your father," Sansa offered.

She nodded. "I expect you're in a similar situation. With your husband and your mother. I know the Starks and Lannisters are on opposite sides of this war. Are you and your mother close?"

"I thought we were," Sansa said in a small voice. "I…I carry Ser Jaime's child and she…can't forgive me for that. Or for loving him."

Sansa had never meant to fall in love with Jaime. She had liked him well enough before they married and she found him very handsome. But she had not loved him and had not thought she ever would. She thought about their wedding night and how terrified she had been standing in Jaime's bedchamber for the first time. She had wished that her mother had been able to reassure her and tell her what to expect. Sansa knew she was fortunate that Jaime was so gentle and patient with her inexperience. She knew many women were not so lucky in the marriage bed.

She had never expected to desire Jaime as she did. And little by little, Sansa had come to need the physical closeness of Jaime's body against hers. It was a comfort to her. And she'd had so little comfort while being held hostage in King's Landing as Joffrey's betrothed. Each time Jaime made love to her and each night she slept in his arms, Sansa became more and more attached to him. Even when they did not make love, just sleeping naked in his arms – feeling his body against hers - made Sansa feel closer to him.

Then it had become more than physical closeness. Jaime was someone she could talk to about her fears. And he trusted her to listen to his. Sometimes his pride made him guarded but she knew that she made him feel safe and accepted. Just as he did for her. They were thrown together at a time when they were both alone in the world. Sansa had come to need Jaime and he needed her as well. I'll never turn my back on the man who was there for me when I had no one.

Sansa's thoughts were interrupted when Roslin began to speak. "My mother died when I was very young. And I've never been close to my father," Roslin offered. "He has so many children and no use for daughters. He's not a kind man." Hearing about Roslin's family made Sansa realize how lucky she was to have been born a Stark. Growing up, she had never doubted that her parents loved her. "If Edmure loved me I would turn away from my family in a moment. He's a good man and…my father is not. Ser Jaime…he might not have a reputation for being good or kind but…he's been very kind to me and I see that you love him. I do not think that you would love him if he were cruel."

"He's done so much for me," Sansa whispered. "I know he's done wrong in the past but, he's been so good to me. He hates when I look at him as if he is a hero but…he's been a hero to me. And my mother hates me for that. For allowing Jaime to love me and for loving him back. I suppose my mother would rather I had died in the capitol," Sansa said tearfully.

Roslin leaned forward and took her hand. "Sansa, it was…in the morning, after the wedding was over, they came into the bedchamber Edmure and I shared on our wedding night and, dragged him out to see what they had done to his king. My father brought me to see as well and…" she closed her eyes, "it was horrible. Your mother was there when that happened to your brother. She must suffer unspeakable pain. She seemed a kind woman when I met her. Before….I'm certain she would not wish you dead."

…

After two days of Arya cooperating, Jaime agreed that she could see her mother. He had offered to escort her to Lady Catelyn's tent himself – or to send her with Ser Addam – but Sansa had said that she would go. She had assured Jaime that she wouldn't see her mother – she knew that he was worried about her mother saying something else to upset her and, for her part, Sansa was not at all eager to hear more harsh words.

As Sansa and Arya walked across the camp, with several Lannister soldiers trailing after them, Arya asked why Sansa had not gone to see their lady mother before now. "Does the Kingslayer not allow it?"

"Ser Jaime," Sansa corrected. "I did see her, the first night that she was in our camp. And…" Sansa's voice broke as she tried to explain to Arya what had happened.

"What's the matter?" Arya asked, genuinely concerned.

"She said I wasn't her daughter. Because of Jaime." Arya's eyes widened. "So, I won't go in with you to see her. She doesn't wish to see me and…I'm afraid - afraid of what more she might say to me."

Arya didn't say anything as Sansa's eyes filled with tears, but she took her older sister's hand as they walked the rest of the way to the hostages' tent. Sansa allowed the guards to enter Edmure Tully's tent first, before Sansa and Arya entered. She knew they had been told to make sure Sansa did not have any contact with her mother. Jaime was concerned that if she got too upset, it would harm the child inside her. Edmure looked up in surprise, first at Sansa and then at Arya.

"Who do we have here?" he asked Sansa.

"My sister. Arya Stark." Edmure was visibly surprised. No doubt her mother had expressed her belief that Arya was dead. She turned to Arya. "This is our uncle, Edmure Tully. Arya's here to speak to…our mother."

Edmure smiled, approaching them both. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Arya. I should have traveled to Winterfell more often. Your mother will be very grateful that you are alive and well."

Sansa gestured toward the entrance to their mother's tent. "Go ahead. I'll wait here."

Arya nodded, all but running through to see their mother. Sansa stood there, watching and listening through the tent flaps, making certain that she remained out of sight.

Arya slowly approached their mother who was sitting in a chair. Sansa couldn't see what she was doing, as her back was to her. She heard her sister quietly say, "Mother," and watched her mother drop her book to the ground before turning and looking at Arya in shock.

"Arya? Is that really you?"

Her sister nodded, walking closer to their mother, and stopping right in front of her. Lady Catelyn reached toward Arya with a shaking hand before gently touching her cheek, which was wet with tears. Sansa could see that her mother didn't really believe that her youngest daughter was standing in front of her. Sansa had scarce believed it herself when she first saw Arya again.

"Arya," she murmured, pulling her sister into her arms. "I feared you were dead. We've not heard anything of you since your father…" Her mother began to cry as she clung to Arya.

"I've been looking for you for months, mother," she burst out.

Lady Catelyn ran her hand over Arya's hair. "What happened to your hair?"

"I was pretending to be a boy," she said, still holding their mother. "Sansa made me bathe and put on a dress when I got here."

"I feared I had no children left," she murmured, looking at Arya. "You've grown."

"You have Sansa too, mother. She's just in there, if you wish to see her."

Her mother acted as if Arya had not spoken at all. As if she did not care that Sansa was alive as well. Lady Catelyn hugged Arya to her and asked to hear what had happened – what she had been doing, where she was – these past few months. Sansa couldn't help feeling another stab of rejection at her mother's complete disinterest in seeing her.

Sansa watched as her mother held Arya, rocking her and resting her head on top of her sister's, and was ashamed by how much she wished her mother would hold her that way. She knew that she shouldn't. Not after her mother's cruel words to her, but she couldn't help longing for her mother's love.

Sansa felt tears welling up in her eyes. As she wiped her eyes, she felt her uncle watching her. She tried to turn away from him – to hide her tears – but he wasn't fooled. "Are you all right?"

"Will you tell Arya that I went back to my tent? The guards will escort her to her own tent when she's ready to leave." She wanted Jaime. She wanted the comfort that she knew he would offer. She didn't think it would hurt so much to see her mother's love for Arya when she had none for her, but it did. Sansa hurried from the tent, not wanting her uncle to see any more of her tears.

"Sansa?" She stopped at the sound of Edmure Tully's voice. "They didn't know. Robb and your mother. They had no idea what was happening to you in Kings Landing."

"That's what Jaime said. Whether they knew or not…I needed help and…Jaime was the one who helped me. He was the one who was kind to me. Who made me feel safe. And I had not felt safe for one moment since my father was killed. Until Jaime returned and protected me. Jaime has more than earned my love. And my loyalty."

"Your mother will come around."

"That's kind of you to say, but I believe you're wrong. What need does she have of me now, anyway? She has a daughter in her arms."

"And you're her daughter, too. And I know she longs to hold you, as well."

"No. She doesn't see me as her daughter. She only sees Jaime Lannister's wife when she looks at me." Sansa looked at him for a moment, considering. "Your lady wife rides in my carriage."

"Jaime told me."

"Before Jaime came for her. When she was at the Twins…she spent every day in the sept, praying for a girl." He looked at her in question. "She feared that, if she had a boy, her father would have no further use for you. That he would kill you. She cares for you very much. You should perhaps show her the kindness my mother will not show me." She turned to leave his tent. "Good night."

Sansa knew the guards were following her, but she ignored them, not wishing to speak to anyone. She simply hurried back to Jaime – the one person she knew would never reject her.

...

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Next Chapter: Arya and Jaime speak about Sansa