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...
I'm floating in darkness.
It is like I am weightless but I am being pulled in different directions.
I cannot make out what is being said but I hear voices.
They are all around me, some speaking to me and others speaking to someone else.
I try to move but that doesn't help.
Am I suspended in time?
Am I asleep or awake? Perhaps a bit of both.
The voices are starting to get clearer now.
I think I hear Henry, he's calling for me, and then he's calling for Emma. I hear him speaking a bit frantically and then I hear Emma calling my name. I can hear them but I cannot feel them. I can hear the worry in their voices. I am unable to respond.
I try to move my body somehow. I twist and turn but it's like I'm paralyzed. I do not stop.
Then a little while later I hear Henry again, but this time he is calling for Robin. He sounds older. This time he doesn't sound as worried, he almost sounds relieved.
I feel someone taking my hand. They are squeezing it. I try to reciprocate. My hand very slowly closing around theirs.
Eventually I start to feel more of my body, and I can smell too now. I smell bleach.
I hear a faint beeping and heavy footsteps.
I try to open my eyes and the brightness is blinding. I close them immediately.
"No worries Love" He strokes my hair and forehead, "Please keep your eyes closed for a bit. It may take a while to adjust." I hear Robins soothing voice in my ear as I feel him take my other hand. I try to relax a bit.
"Yeah mom, try not to move too much, you are going to be ok. We are here for you. You had us worried sick, but please just stay awake for us, okay?" I hear the pleading in his voice and I try to respond but my throat is so dry that I cannot speak.
I try to swallow and that seems to make it worse, like there's sand stuck in my throat. I grimace.
Then I feel something poke my lips a little and it makes me jump. I squint my eyes open, slowly this time as to not be blinded.
"I'm sorry I was just trying to give you some water. Drink it slowly okay?" Henry is looking at me and speaking very slowly. If I wasn't so confused I might have been annoyed at him treating me like a child.
Nodding my head I slowly open my mouth and take a sip.
The water feels glorious in my mouth and as I slowly swallow I feel so much better. I keep on drinking until I reach the bottom of the cup. I need more, and I have never felt this kind of thirst.
I look around me then, towards Henry as I silently beg for more water with my eyes. Just as he's refilling my cup I see Dr. Whale behind him.
"Not too much Henry. She may be thirsty but we don't want to overdo it." He says with a smile, and I wish I could throw something at him.
I turn to Henry and clear my throat, "What is going on?" I know I am back in real time because of how old he is.
Then I finally look around me.
Henry is to my right and Robin to my left. Dr. Whale is in the doorway and ofcourse I am in the hospital.
I feared such when I smelled the bleach. There is such a sterile smell in a hospital and it makes me sick to my stomach to be here. I must get out. I do not trust for one second that Dr. Frankenstein is really worried for my wellbeing at all.
My bed is not flat, the back part being a little more upright in a sitting position, so I rip off the sheets and turn in my bed in an attempt to get out when I start to actually fall out of the bed. It's like I have no control over my body, and all the energy I used to tear the sheets off of me has left my arms burning.
Henry grabs a hold of me then, and ever so gently starts moving my upper body back onto the pillows. He looks so big beside me, and has such strong arms. It's a complete contrast to the young Henry that I have been with lately. I miss the softness of his chubby cheeks, now more lean and sunken in. I notice the bags under his eyes and realize that he must be so scared. My boy scared of losing not one but both of his mothers.
"Oh Henry, come here please." I raise my arms a bit gesturing his into a hug which he immediately accepts and puts his face to my chest. He puts his arms around me again, similar to how he did right after Emma had disappeared.
He then pulls back and wipes at his eyes, trying to hide his tears, trying to be strong for me.
I look to Robin and see the obvious worry on his face as well. He smiles at me and strokes my hair again, "when I arrived at home you were on the bed asleep. I didn't think anything of at the time and just thought you were tired from the day, but when I tried to wake you in the morning it was as though you were in a comatose state." He looks down at the floor.
"Yah, so then he came and got me and we brought you here." Henry adds in.
"They have run several tests, and even started feeding you through this tube device into your veins. The doctors said that you were okay but we have been unable to awaken you for an entire day. We thought it was magic so we went to ask Mr. Gold but he is also in the hospital and unconscious since the night he had a heart attack." Robin looks at me again as he continues, "They would like you to stay here until they can get you more stable. Although there is nothing wrong with you physically, your pressures are very erratic and we believe your body to be very weak." He pauses then, out of breath or just plain exhausted.
He is certainly correct about the weakness. My body feels so heavy. Maybe it is because I have not eaten in several days. That's what it is. I will have something to eat and then we can all go home. I do not want to stay here.
"Perhaps it's just because I have not eaten, that would make be a reason for me to feel weak." I try to convince them as well as myself.
"Well, the IV supplementation we are giving you is more than enough to help you regain your strength but it doesn't seem to be very effective right now. We have also added many things to help replenish your body, such as electrolytes but your body seems to be depleting them all at an accelerated rate. All scans in this modern world are indicating that there is nothing physically wrong with you. Magic has to be involved. That would be my conclusion, although I do not know much about magic." Dr. Whale informs us. As if I had asked for his medical opinion, he is not even a real doctor, he is better at ripping people apart than putting them back together.
"I see…" I begin when Robin interrupts.
"Well can she not have these IV's at home instead of here? Could we also maybe have a nurse come to check in on her there? I will be there to watch her as well as Henry. We just want to make her as comfortable as possible, especially in her state." Robin finishes, and I should be happy he is trying to help but I am not.
I do not like the way he is speaking about me as though I cannot speak for myself; suggesting I need watching over. I may be weak but I am not deaf and mute. I can speak for myself. I look at him, and he at me and something feels off.
I shouldn't be so angry about what he said but maybe it is because I was already cross with him about Zelena.
"I do not need looking after. I am capable of hiring staff if need be but I will be leaving this place today. Yes I am weak, but I do not need to be here to get well, or treated as if I am some sort of invalid. And I most certainly do not want to worry Henry who has been through enough already." I turn my face away from then and try to control my breathing as I look toward Henry.
"My dear…" Robin starts but I put up my hand and look incredulously at him. I do not want to hear anymore and my head is starting to pound once more.
"Please Robin, I just need some peace right now. Can you get me something to eat perhaps?" I look to him, almost begging him to leave me for the moment.
He looks hurt, and turns away for a moment clearing his throat for which I fear would have been horse if he hadn't. "Yes, ofcourse, I will return shortly."
With that he turns and leaves with Dr. Whale following him out.
A few minutes pass as I try to calm myself down and I realize that Henry hasn't said anything so I look over to him and see him smirking at me.
I am a bit thrown by his look so I give him a questioning look myself.
"Mom that was so badass! I am so worried about you but, it's good to have you back!" He then breaks out into a huge smile.
I know I should berate him for his language but I cannot help the laugh that comes out of my mouth instead. It did feel good to channel my inner Mayor for a moment. It had been so long.
We are both smiling, and I ignore the burning in my arm as I reach out and shove at his shoulder a bit.
...
We are home now, Robin having returned with food and also a wheel chair.
He had filled out all the paperwork with Whale before going off to get my food so that I could be home as soon as possible.
I am very grateful for it and even though I hate that damn wheelchair, I do have to use it for the time being so we had to bring it home from the hospital.
We are in the dining room eating when I finally ask the question that's been in the back of my mind this whole time.
"What are the developments with Emma? Has anyone heard anything yet?" I ask looking from Robin to Henry.
There is a long moment before Henry speaks up. "We don't have anything solid yet. Gramps and Hook are still checking around town, but they can't make it too obvious since no one knows what happening. Well except for Blue, who is helping grams and Belle in their research."
"You are entrusting Blue? And she agreed? Does she know that dark magic is involved?" I cannot believe that I did not think of it myself. Especially with the condition that Rumple is in. She would be the only other one in Strorybrooke who could detect the use of magic.
"Yeah mom, she is helping, she said she would do it for Emma because she believe that Emma's light magic will eventually win over the darkness that is in her now." Henry looks hopeful and I glad because I cannot do anything to help. Atleast someone is able to.
I finish up my food and just the act of sitting up and eating has warn me out. I hate to admit when I am unwell. I cannot even count on both hands the number of times I have been ill since coming to this realm. But I can feel it deep inside of me that there is something seriously wrong.
Robin is still not saying much and although it makes me feel guiltier to see him sitting quietly at the table, I can't think of what to say to him right now.
As I reach up for my water my hands are shaky and he immediately grabs it and brings it closer to me. I nod my head and take a sip.
I think I need to go and rest some more, but before that I decide I should atleast try to see if I have any material on the Dark One to do some research of my own.
Henry and Robin clear off the table and since I am the only one left in the room I quickly try to conjure up a few volumes from my study.
Nothing happen. I wave my hand again and see purple smoke, but again nothing happens.
I cannot be this helpless. I cannot just sit here in this wheelchair and do nothing!
I try again, this time having to strain more than I should and still nothing comes except for purple smoke.
I slam my hands on the table which causes Henry to come running out of the kitchen.
As he reaches for my face I turn away ashamed to show him my frustration when he pulls my face back to him. "Mom your nose is bleeding. Let me get a napkin, and then maybe we should get your to bed. What were you doing?" He asks.
This is bad. I don't know what to do, but I know I have to honest with Henry. I cannot lie to him anymore, I made that promise to him long ago, and it's the only thing that kept us together.
As I look into his eyes he stops wiping at my nose and sits next to me, very close to my face.
I grab his hand and squeeze it tightly as I whisper, "Henry I need you to listen carefully okay sweetheart. My magic is not working, and I fear I am about to pass out again. My protection spell is not in tact if I am this weak so you need to find Snow and Blue as soon as you can and have them do a protection spell on this house, and the Charming's home as well. If anyone finds out that Emma is the dark one then they can use her against us." I can see the fear in his eyes, but I need him to understand.
"I think I will be okay if I am able to get a lot of rest. My body is just too weak. And I fear that whatever took over Emma is still inside of me as well. Blue will have to try and get it out of me, and possibly trap it somewhere. She will not want to help me but you need to convince her that they need my help with Emma." I lean on him a bit now, feeling even weaker. "She might need to put me in a deep sleep for a while she drains whatever is stuck inside of me." Henry just listens and finally speaks up.
"I'm scared mom." He looks at me with tears in his eyes, looking so much younger at the moment.
"I know honey, but it will be okay. You know your grandparents and Robin will not let anything happen to you. And I will be with you, even in my dreams I always am with you. Even Ms. Swan is there." I try to make an annoyed face to lighten the mood.
"We are all together, the three of us, and we even get along. It's the weirdest thing Henry, and you are so little. It's like I am able to have a second chance with you in my dreams. You are with Emma too and flying that old helicopter in our front yard…" I smile at the memory even though it's just a dream.
"Oh yeah, I remember that time I hit you with the door." He smiles then too.
I look up at him immediately. How could he have known that? It never really happened.
"But Henry... how could you…." As I am asking him I know I will not be able to finish my question as I pass out yet again.