Hehehe! Me and my evil little cliffhangers! I just couldn't leave it like that for very long, so I'm giving you this tidbit - a page from Christine's journal.
None sorry: Thank you! I know what you mean.
Reverend Squid: That might be the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me about my fanfiction! You are too kind!
And to think, this story came from one little line cropping up in my head . . . "But I don't know you, monsieur!" Where it came from, I don't know . . . I just go where the muse leads me.
I can't believe I caught a glimpse of Erik's face! It wasn't much really, just one of his eyes and the hint of his cheek. His skin looked - I don't know how to describe it. Almost yellow, like aged paper. His eyes. Black. Inky. It's like two blotches of ink fell on parchment. Yet there was a hint of coppery rings in those eyes.
I don't even know what I'm saying. I just needed to commit this while my memory of the event is still fresh.
His music hypnotises me in a way I cannot fight. But would I fight it if I could? I don't know. Ever since that first night when I heard his voice singing to me from the walls of my dressing room, I fell in love.
Oh, I can't tell him that, of course, not yet. But I can show him that I care for him, that I appreciate all he's done for me these past three months. He's so good to me, taking care of me, escorting me in the mornings to go shopping a couple of times a week. I rather enjoy our little excursions. He gives me a few coins and lets me purchase whatever I want at market. We go early in the morning, so there's usually plenty for me to choose from.
The only thing that bothers me at all is that he remains outside the store as I make my selections. Perhaps he does not wish to be seen with me? Could that be it? Is that why we go while shopkeepers are still setting out their wares and hardly anyone is about? Does he wish to keep this a secret?
Oh, I don't know what to think about all of this!
I did have a letter taken to Maman Valerius yesterday, just something to let her know that I am safe. With Raoul's attempts to see me again, I have a feeling he might seek her out to ascertain my situation. Why should he keep trying to - Oh, I suppose it doesn't matter much. He was simply someone I knew many years ago. We did not keep in touch. I suppose it might be nice to reminisce with someone who remembers my father, but it feels wrong, somehow, to think about spending time with a man other than Erik. I'm not even sure why that is.
Erik knew about the letter, of course. I let him read it before we made our journey above-ground. He seemed almost relieved by it. I do not want him to think that I have anything to hide from him.
Except for this. He must never know what thoughts have been coursing through my silly head! If he knew about this journal, he would know. And I can't let him know.
Being here with him, just down the hall from his bedroom, makes me think, makes me wonder. But I must not think such thoughts! He has not even asked to court me! He would have to meet Maman first and procure her permission for such a matter. He hasn't mentioned anything of the sort to me, so I must keep myself from expecting . . . that.
But how can I keep from hoping? He's so near, yet he seems so far away, an unreachable star that I long to touch.
Christine sighed and blew on the ink to dry it before putting her journal away in her wardrobe. She needed to get some rest. There were too many things she wanted to ask Erik the following day, and it would not do if she were tired during their lessons.
A/N: A short chapter, I know, but what better way to understand Christine than in her own words? If it seems like she's rambling a bit here, that was my intent. Not to mention that I wrote this at three in the morning. Haha, but Christine was writing in her journal in the wee hours of the morning, too. Who needs sleep, right? *coffee*coffee*coffee*
That mention of "coppery rings" is a reference to another of my phanfics, A Doctor's Thoughts, which is a little something I wrote because I kept wondering what might have afflicted Erik. (If/when I manage to put my fanfic site back up, A Doctor's Thoughts will be there. For the time being, it is unpublished.)