At around nightfall, Bilbo returned to Bag End, and prepared himself for dinner of fish that he fetched from the market. He settles down at his table, tucks a napkin in his collar, and begins sprinkling salt on his fish. Then, he began to squeeze lemon juice on his fish until he heard the doorbell ring. He stops squeezing the lemon and looks up in surprise. He walks over to the front door, and opens it. As he did, he finds himself face-to-face with a tall, bald dwarf on his doorstep.
"Dwálin, at your service." Dwálin greeted him and bows slightly.
Bilbo whimpered and quickly tied his robe tighter and stands taller. "Bilbo Baggins, at yours." He greeted him back, but was completely confused. "D-do we know each other?"
Dwálin walks inside and answered confusedly. "No." He heads to the living room and dumps some of his stuff on the ground. "Which way, laddie?" He asked the puzzled hobbit. "Is it down here?"
"I-is what down there?" Bilbo asked, still confused.
Dwálin turns back face him and walks over to him. "Supper." He replied as he thrusts the rest of his stuff onto Bilbo. "He said there'd be food, and lots of it."
Bilbo was even more confused and had no idea what the dwarf was talking about. "H-He said? Who said?"
Later, Bilbo had been sitting quietly in a different spot of the kitchen while Dwálin took Bilbo's seat and ate his entire dinner that he made for himself, but since Dwálin had been hungry, Bilbo was forced to allow him to eat. After chewing the flesh from the fish, and eats the head as well.
"Mmmm. Very good this." Dwálin chewed the head of the fish. "Any more?"
Bilbo brings over a plate of biscuits while he hides one behind his back for himself. "Help yourself."
Dwálin noticed the bread quickly and rather than taking one, he takes entire plate of bread and begins stuffing them in his mouth. "Mmmm."
"It's just that, um, I wasn't expecting company." Bilbo said to him quietly.
Before he could continue, the doorbell suddenly rang again and Bilbo looked up alarmed when he heard it. Bilbo huffly walks to the front door again and opens to reveal another white-haired dwarf who was standing in the front.
"Bálin, at your service." Bálin greeted happily and made a bow to the hobbit.
Bilbo looked stunned when he spoke. "Good evening."
"Yes, yes it is." Bálin nodded and entered the house. "Although, I think it might rain later. Am I late?"
Bilbo was still confused and had no idea what he was talking about been late. "Late for what?" He asked very slowly to the friendly dwarf.
Before Bálin could answer his question, he turns to see Dwálin, who had been busy trying to search for more biscuits that he liked.
"Oh, ha ha!" Bálin exclaimed happily and walked over to greet Dwálin. "Evening brother. Heh, heh."
"Oh, by my beard, you are shorter and wider than last we met." Dwálin remarked on his brother's appearance.
"Wider, not shorter." Bálin corrected him and gave him a wink. "Sharp enough for both of us."
The two dwarf brothers continued to laugh and greet each other. They put their arms on each other's shoulders, and smash their foreheads together.
Bilbo had been staring at them in wonder and immediately spoke. "Uh, excuse me; sorry, I hate to interrupt, ah, but the thing is, I'm not entirely sure you're in the right house."
Bálin and Dwálin have been ignoring him while they laughed and went towards the pantry filled with all sorts of food, drinks, and sauces. The two pour themselves ale and examined the food
"Have you eaten?" Dwálin asked.
"It's not that I don't like visitors; I-I like visitors as much as the next Hobbit, but I do like to know them before they come visiting." Bilbo continued his speech.
Bálin and Dwálin still didn't listen to Bilbo's words while they were rifling through the pantry.
"Ah, that looks very nice indeed." Bálin remarked while examining the bread.
"What's that?" Dwálin asked, pointing at something.
Bálin picks it up and saw that it was cheese that had gone bad. "It's gone blue."
"It's riddled with mold." Dwálin said disgustedly as he takes the cheese tosses it out of the pantry.
"The thing is, um, I, I don't know either of you, not in the slightest." Bilbo continued to speak to the dwarves while they haven't listened to him. "I don't mean to be blunt, but I uh, but I had to speak my mind. I'm sorry."
The dwarf brothers pause and turn to look at Bilbo, who had clear his throat and waited for answer from one of them.
"Apology accepted." Bálin smiled at the hobbit, who started to sound annoyed. Then, he turned to his brother. "Ah, now fill it up, brother, don't stint. I could eat again, if you insist."
Just as Bálin hands a tankard filled with ale to Dwálin, Bilbo heard the doorbell ring once again. He walks over to the door again and opens it. There, two young dwarves stand together with smiles while Bilbo made a slight moan upon seeing them.
"Fíli." Fíli greeted.
"And Kíli." Kíli greeted as well.
"At your service." The two dwarves greeted and bowed to the hobbit.
"You must be Mr. Boggins." Kíli said incorrectly with a greeted smile.
"Nope, you can't come in, you've come to the wrong house." Bilbo lied, trying to prevent more dwarves from entering his house uninvited.
As Bilbo tried to close the door, Kíli, however, stops the door with his foot. "What?" He exclaimed in confusion. "Has it been cancelled?"
"No one told us." Fíli said bewilderedly.
"Can-?" Bilbo paused and was even more confused. "No-nothing's been cancelled."
"Well, that's a relief." Kíli grinned in joy.
Immediately, the two young dwarves push their way in and begin unloading their stuff.
"Careful with these, I just had 'em sharpened." Fíli informed Bilbo as he approached him and dropped a pair of swords onto the bewildered hobbit.
"It's nice, this place." Kíli remarked on the appearance of Bag End. "D'you you do it yourself?" He asked the hobbit when he began to scrape the mud off his boots on the edge of a chest.
"Ah, no, it's been in the family for years." Bilbo explained until he saw what Kíli was doing and raised his voice a bit. "That's my mother's glory box, can you please not do that!"
"Fíli! Kíli!" Dwálin called to the dwarf brothers, beckoning them. "Come on, give us a hand."
"Mister Dwálin." Kíli laughed. "Lovely to see you."
"Let's shove this in the hallway, otherwise we'll never get everyone in." Bálin informed while moving the table.
"Let me help you with that." Fíli said, offering his assistance.
"Everyone!" Bilbo exclaimed. "How many more are there?"
"Where do you want this?" Kíli asked while helping Dwálin.
Suddenly the doorbell rings very hard and longer than before.
"Oh no. No, no! There's nobody home!" Bilbo shouted out in anger as he walks quickly toward the door and dumped all the swords and other equipment in his arms along the way. "Go away, and bother somebody else. There's far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If- if- If this is some clotterd's idea of a joke, ha ha, I can only say, it is in very poor taste."
Just as Bilbo opened the door, more than eight dwarves fall to the ground. Struggling to get up, they grumble and yell at each other when Gandalf and Angel stand behind them.
"Gandalf." Bilbo breathed unhappily when he finally realized. "So your the one who orchestrated this?"
After Angel was invited in last, due ot the fact that he was a vampire, the dwarves began to raid Bilbo's pantry and take all of Bilbo's food while Fíli, Kíli, Dwálin, and Bálin had been setting up the table.
"Those are my plates! Excuse me! Not my wine!" Bilbo shouted when he was trying to order every dwarf to put everything back into his pantry, but they all ignore him. "Put that back. Put that back! Not the jam, please! ...Excuse me." He turns to a fat dwarf who was carrying three cheese wheels. "Excuse me. A tad excessive, isn't it? Have you got a cheese knife?"
"Cheese knife? Bombur eats it by the block." Bofur informed the hobbit about Bombur's appetite.
When two dwarves named Óin and Glóin were walking through the hall carrying chairs from one of Bilbo's rooms, Bilbo noticed and tried to stop them.
"No, no, that's Grandpa Mungo's chair!" Bilbo exclaimed at Óin. "No, I'm sorry, you'll have to take it back please. Take it back...It's antique, not for sitting on!"
"I cannot hear what your saying lad!" Óin said when Bilbo was pushing him back to the room.
As the dwarves continue bringing all of Bilbo's food and furniture into the dining room, Dóri approaches Angel with a tray of tea.
"Excuse me, Mr. Angel, can I tempt you with a nice cup of chamomile tea?" Dóri asked him, offering him tea.
"Oh, no thank you." Angel declined the offer. "Although, I would want some red wine if its on the menu."
"Certainty, I will bring a tankard filled with it at once." Dóri complied.
Dóri walked pass Gandalf while he kept on avoiding the scurrying dwarves until he accidentally hits his head on the chandelier. Then, he begins counting the dwarves on his fingers. Knowing that twelve dwarves were hear, he soon began to notice that one was missing.
"We appear to be one dwarf short." Gandalf informed to Angel.
"I told where to meet us." Angel replied to the wizard. "He told me he traveled north to meeting of his kin. I assure you, Gandalf. He will come."
Dóri returns to Gandalf and had a tankard filled with red wine. "Here you are." He offered. "Tankard filled with red wine as requested. It's, eh, got a fruity bouquet."
"Thank you." Angel replied gratefully.
While the dwarves, Angel, and Gandalf were eating, talking, and laughing at the same time, Bilbo walks away in disgust and looks at his pantry in shock. He saw that the dwarves have taken everything from the pantry, leaving it completely empty. Later, when the meal had finished, the dwarves leave the table and begin walking about while Bilbo ran to the kitchen.
"Excuse me, that is a doily, not a dishcloth!" Bilbo exclaimed, grabbing his doily back from Nóri.
"But it's full of holes." Bofur protested.
"It's supposed to look like that, it's crochet." Bilbo corrected.
"Oh, and a wonderful game it is too, if you got the balls for it." Bofur joked and walked away from Bilbo.
"Bebother and confusticate these dwarves!" Bilbo said, sounding very frustrated.
"My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter?" Gandalf asked.
"What's the matter?" Bilbo asked quietly to Gandalf. "I'm surrounded by dwarves. What are they doing here?"
"Oh, they're quite a merry gathering, once you get used to them." Gandalf chuckled.
"I don't want to get used to them." Bilbo said quietly and furiously altogether. "The state of my kitchen! There's mud trod into the carpet, they've pi-pillaged the pantry. I'm not even going to tell you what they've done in the bathroom; they've all but destroyed the plumbing. I don't understand what they're doing in my house!"
Óri, the yougest dwarf of the group, walks over to Bilbo. "Excuse me?" He asked the angry hobbit. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?"
"Here you go, Óri, give it to me." Fíli said by snatching the plate from Óri's hand and throws it directly to his brother Kíli. Then, Kíli throws it to Bifur, who had been standing at the sink of the kitchen and prepared to clean the plate and every dish that have been thrown to him.
"Excuse me, that's my mother's West Farthing crockery, it's over a hundred years old!" Bilbo shouted at one of the dwarves. Then he angrily turns to other dwarves who had been drumming on the table with their utensils and fists. "And can-can you not do that? You'll blunt them!"
"Ooh, d'hear that, lads?" Bofur asked excitedly to his brethren. "He says we'll blunt the knives."
All the dwarves began to sing happily as they continue to throw the dishware and have them all washed up to be put away. Bilbo huffs up in anger, only to find all the dishes stacked neatly and cleanly. The dwarves, Angel, and Gandalf all laugh. Suddenly, three loud knocks were heard, and everyone falls into silence.
"He is here." Gandalf informed quietly to the dwarves.
"It's about time." Angel sighed in relief.
As Bilbo opens the door to reveal Thórin Oakenshield, Thórin looks up to face Gandalf and Angel.
"Gandalf! Angel!" Thórin spoke to them and explained. "I thought one of you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way, twice. Wouldn't have found it at all had it not been for that mark on the door."
"Mark? There's no mark on that door. It was painted a week ago!" Bilbo exclaimed.
"Actually, there is a mark." Angel told the hobbit. "Gandalf was the one who put it there for the dwarves to find their way here."
"Ah, Bilbo, allow me to introduce you to the leader of this company... Thórin Oakenshield." Gandalf introduced the hobbit to the dwarf.
"So, this is the Hobbit." Thórin said, making a lsight smile in front of the hobbit and began to ask. "Tell me, Mr. Baggins, have you done much fighting?"
"Beg your pardon?" Bilbo asked, looking confused.
"Axe or sword? What's your weapon of choice?" Thórin asked him again.
"Well, I have some skill at Conkers, if you must know, but I fail to see why that's relevant." Bilbo answered his question with a fake smile.
"Thought as much. He looks more like a grocer than a burglar." Thórin teased a bit.
At the dining table, Angel and Gandalf sat between Thórin, who had been eating slowly.
"What news from the meeting in Ered Luin?" Bálin asked Thórin. "Did they all come?"
"Aye. Envoys from all seven kingdoms." Thórin replied.
"And what do the dwarves of the Iron Hills say?" Dwálin asked too. "Is Dáin with us?"
Thórin sighed unhappily and answered. "They will not come."
"I guess it didn't work out?" Angel said quietly to him.
"No." Thórin shook his head. "Dáin and his people told me that this quest ours, and ours alone."
The others dwarves all murmured in disapointment.
"You're going on a quest?" Bilbo asked.
"Bilbo, my dear fellow, let us have a little more light." Gandalf insisted and takes out a map from his pocket and spreads it on the table when Bilbo returns with candle. "Far to the East, over ranges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands, lies a single solitary peak."
"The Lonely Mountain." Bilbo read the name on the map.
"Aye, Óin has read the portents, and the portents say it is time." Glóin announced.
"Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain as it was foretold: When the birds of yore return to Erebor, the reign of the beast will end."
"Uh, what beast?" Bilbo asked, looking concerned when he the two words.
"Well that would be a reference to Smaug the Terrible, chiefest and greatest calamity of our age." Bofur explained. "Airborne fire-breather, teeth like razors, claws like meathooks, extremely fond of precious metals-"
"Yes, I know what a dragon is." Bilbo interrupted.
Óri rose up from his seat and shouted. "I'm not afraid! I'm up for it. I'll give him a taste of the Dwarfish iron right up his jacksie."
Some of the dwarves laughed.
"Sit down!" Dóri exclaimed.
"The task would be difficult enough with an army behind us." Bálin spoke and sighed deeply. "But we number just thirteen, and not thirteen of the best, nor brightest."
"Well we maybe few in number, but we're fighters, all of us, to the last dwarf!" Fíli exclaimed, slamming his fist on the table.
"And you forget, we have a wizard in our company. Gandalf will have killed hundreds of dragons in his time." Kíli informed excitedly.
"Oh, well, now, uh, I-I-I wouldn't say that, I- -" Gandalf said embarrassedly.
"You killed the dragons before?" Angel asked.
"Well I..." Gandalf paused.
"Well, how many dragons have you killed?" Dóri asked, wanting to know the answer.
Gandalf embarrassedly starts coughing on his pipe smoke.
"Go on, give us a number!" Dóri demanded loudly.
Some of the dwarves jump to their feet, and began arguing on the number of dragons that Gandalf had previously killed in the past.
"Everyone, please!" Angel shouted, trying to calm the dwarves.
Thórin jumps up in anger. "SHAZARA!" (SILENCE!) He bellowed in dwarven language and explained. "If we have read these signs, do you not think others will have read them too? Rumours have begun to spread. The dragon Smaug has not been seen for 60 years. Eyes look east to the Mountain, assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected. Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor?" He shouted again in the dwarven language. "Du Bekâr! Du Bekâr!" (To arms! To arms!)
All the dwarves cheer of Thórin's speech.
"You forget: the front gate is sealed." Bálin spoke loudly. "There is no way into the mountain."
"That, my dear Bálin, is not entirely true." Gandalf said as he took out a dwarvish key from his pocket.
Thórin looks at the key in wonder. "How came you by this?" He asked softly.
"It was given to me by your father, by Thráin... for safekeeping." Gandalf said to him. "It is yours now." He hands the key to Thórin.
"If there is a key, there must be a door." Fíli guessed.
Gandalf points at the runes on the map. "These runes speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls."
"There's another way in." Kíli whispered in excitement.
"Well, if we can find it, but dwarf doors are invisible when closed." Gandalf continued to read the runes on the map. "The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map and I do not have the skill to find it. But there are others in Middle-earth who can. The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth, and no small amount of courage. But, if we are careful and clever, I believe that it can be done."
"And that's why we need a burglar." Angel said.
"Hm, a good one, too." Bilbo said. "An expert, I'd imagine."
"And are you?" Glóin asked.
"Am I what?" Bilbo asked, puzzled.
"He said he's an expert! Hey hey!" Óin cheered, thinking that Bilbo was a burglar.
"M-Me? No, no, no, no, no. I'm not a burglar; I've never stolen a thing in my life." Bilbo exclaimed.
"I'm afraid I have to agree with Mr. Baggins." Bálin agreed. "He's hardly burglar material."
"Bálin's right." Angel agreed. "The wild is no place for gentlefolk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves."
Bilbo nodded to Bálin and Angel's agreement, but the dwarves argued.
"ENOUGH!" Gandalf yelled as he rises from his seat and magically casts a shadowy darkness over the entire room. "If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is." He returns to normal and the darkness was gone. Then, he lowered his voice and went on to continue speaking towards the group. "Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet. In fact, they can pass unseen by most if they choose. And while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of dwarf, the scent of hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage. You asked me to find the fourteenth member of this company, and I have chosen Mr. Baggins. There's a lot more to him than appearances suggest, and he's got a great deal more to offer than any of you know, including himself." He turns to Thórin. "You must trust me on this."
"Very well." Thórin complied. "Will do it your way." He turns his face directly towards Bálin. "Give him the contract."
"No, please." Bilbo declined.
Bálin pulls out the contract and hands it over to Bilbo. "It's just the usual summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth."
"Funeral arrangements!" Bilbo exclaimed.
As Bilbo steps back a few feet to read the contract, Thórin leans toward Gandalf. "I cannot guarantee his safety."
"Understood." Gandalf whispered back.
"Nor will I be responsible for his fate." Thórin whispered back to him.
"Agreed." Gandalf whispered and nodded his head a bit.
"Terms: Cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding one fourteenth of total profit, if any." Bilbo read the contract out loud. "Seems fair. Eh, Present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof including but not limited to lacerations... evisceration... incineration?"
"Oh, aye, he'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye." Bofur said.
"Huh." Bilbo breathed.
"Are you alright?" Angel asked him.
"Uh, yeah... feel a bit faint." Bilbo gasped for air.
"Think furnace with wings." Bofur suggested.
"Air, I-I-I need air." Bilbo breathed heavily.
"Flash of light, searing pain, then poof... you're nothing more than a pile of ash." Bofur continued.
Bilbo breathes heavily, trying to compose himself as the others stare at him.
"Hmmm. Nope." Bilbo responded and falls to the floor.
"Well done, Bofur." Angel said sarcastically to the crazy dwarf. "That was... very helpful."