Tris' POV

"I have something to tell you" Tobias says. He is wearing false confidence on his face, but I can't tell what's worrying him.

I can see a war going on his head. He is contemplating whether to tell me or not.

I start to get worried. What is so bad that Tobias can't tell me about? After a while I can't take it anymore.

"Whatever it is, just tell me. I can handle it. It's better for me to know." I say, but as soon as the words leave my mouth, I regret them. What if it isn't better for me to know?

No, it's always better to know. Tobias takes a shaky breath.

"When they we're doing surgery on you... They discovered a..." He shakes his head and tries again.

"When they were taking the bullet out of your stomach, they discovered that it didn't hit any vital organs. Well, at least, not vital to you." He pauses. "But they found it in your... womb. And it had hit something. It was a fetus. Tris, you were pregnant."

He looks at me and I see a tear go down his face, but my cheeks stay dry. It doesn't seem real to me.

"I'm pregnant?" I ask him quietly.

"You were," he replies, "but the bullet hit the baby and it didn't live. They removed it from your womb during the surgery."

Suddenly, his words hit me hard, like a train. I was pregnant. I killed our child.

It's all my fault. I'm a murderer.

"I killed our baby" I whisper.

He looks up at me, "No, Tris, you didn't kill it. You didn't know. No one could've known. You were too early in your pregnancy. It wasn't your fault." He says firmly. My head has fallen down to face the floor in shame.

"Tris, look at me." He says, but I leave my head down.

He blames me, I know he does. How could I have been so stupid? I saved my brother but killed our child.

His hand pulls my chin up, and holds it so that I am looking him straight in the eye. A tear falls down my face.

"I'm really sorry, Tobias. Why do I keep torturing you? Every time something good happens to us, I just ruin it. And this time is no different." His hands still hold my face up, but my eyes stay on the floor.

"Tris, look at me." When I don't, he groans and gets on his knees, blocking my view of the floor.

He looks me right in the eye. This is the first time since I've met him that I don't want to look into his beautiful, blue eyes. Because I know as soon as I do, I'll melt into them. And I do.

"Tris, you didn't kill our baby. If you need someone to blame, blame David. But you did not kill our baby, OK?" He says, and runs his hand over his face, "Tris, it's just as much my fault as it is yours, OK? I am upset that you went into the weapons lab, don't get me wrong. What if you had died? How would I-" He stops and wipes away his tears. I've never seen Tobias cry so much in one day. In fact, before today I'd never seen him cry at all. "How would I have lived without you? Tris, you are my life, and the fact that you're here, alive and OK, makes me the happiest person alive. Of course I'm upset about our baby, but if you're OK, then I'm OK. You're all that matters. Maybe we we're too young to start a family, anyways. If you want to try again, we can. But as long as you're healthy, and alive," he adds, "then we're OK."

I look at him incredulously.

"You don't blame me at all?" I ask.

"Not one little bit." He says and smiles.

I fake a smile. He looks relieved that I believe him. But I don't.

He pulls me into his strong arms, and I don't say anymore. I am not the type of person who apologizes over and over. I say I'm sorry once and move on.

Why doesn't it feel the same this time?

Since there's still one thing I have to apologize for, I say, "I'm sorry I went to the weapons lab. I didn't want to leave you, it felt like the right thing to do in the moment."

"It's ok," He murmurs into my shoulder, "Just promise me something?"

"Anything" I respond, eager to make this up to him some way.

He pulls back and looks me in the eye.

"Don't ever put your life before someone else's again. Even if it's me. Promise?" He looks at me pleadingly.

I hesitate and look away. Born and raised as an Abnegation, promising something like that would be selfish. I know I won't be able to keep the promise, and Tobias must know that too. He must. He's Abnegation too, after all.

He sees my hesitation. "Please?" He begs, "I can't live without you."

I look at him again and nod. He smiles.

Of course, that's the one promise I won't be able to keep.

Let's just hope it never comes to that.

OK guys, let me know what you think. Sorry if it wasn't what you expected, you all had really great ideas, it just had to happen this way so that I could follow my plan of them going back to the city and living a happy, fluffy life :)

Also I'm considering having a beta reader, but I'll talk about it more in my next update. But if anyone wants to take that job, tell me. It would be super fun to have a beta reader! You get to read all the chapters before they're posted and you get to tell me your opinion or what you think should happen.

I'll try to update soon!