It's the end of season 3! I know there was quite a bit of unhappiness in the fandom in terms of how this episode ended and the lack of a resolution for Kurt. I'm not going to give him a "resolution", as such, because my goal here is always to stick to the storyline of the show and just add in extra things that could possibly have happened... and we don't know what's going to happen next for Kurt (or, if we do, it's a spoiler for season 4, so please don't mention it)! But I will definitely give Kurt a chance to show some emotion after finding out that he won't be attending NYADA in the fall.
Also, there is a scene from this episode that wasn't in the actual episode but was recently released by Ryan Murphy... it's when Kurt reads what Rachel wrote for him in his yearbook! You can watch it (and a bunch of other deleted scenes, including The Warblers performance of 'I Want You Back' from the Michael Jackson episode! Sadly, it was released after I wrote that episode of this story, so my version of that scene is a little different! And there's also the adorable "Box Scene" between Kurt and Blaine from the Christmas episode! Check it out) on Ryan Murphy's official YouTube account: youtube DOT com SLASH user SLASH MrRPMurphyExclusive SLASH videos.
Here we go... the final episode of season 3!
(I do not own Glee or any of the characters, dialogue, or songs from the show. It's all just for fun!)
BLAINE
"Okay, I'm sorry, but I'm going to die of thirst," Kurt announced, pausing the movie and untangling himself from Blaine's arms so he could hop off the bed. He turned to Blaine, who was still leaning against the headboard. "Want anything?
"No, thanks," Blaine replied.
"Okay," Kurt said cheerfully. He twirled around and disappeared through the doorway.
Blaine was glad that Kurt was starting to feel comfortable enough in the Anderson home to go downstairs and get a drink out of the refrigerator without Blaine. Blaine's parents were still at work, so there wasn't really any reason for Kurt to be nervous, but something about the casual way Kurt was willing to help himself made Blaine feel like they had reached a really solid place in their relationship.
Blaine climbed off the bed and hurried to his closet to dig out a neatly wrapped present he had hidden there the week before. He put it on the end of the bed before climbing back onto the mattress and settling back against the headboard as if he hadn't moved at all.
"I got you a can anyway," Kurt's voice reached the room before he did. "You'll probably be thirsty in a minute, and..."
He trailed off as he returned to the room and saw the present on the bed.
"It's your graduation present," Blaine explained.
"My–?" Kurt seemed genuinely surprised. He walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed beside the wrapped box.
"Open it," Blaine encouraged, reaching out to take the two soda cans from Kurt.
Kurt tore off the wrapping paper and opened the box, and Blaine could tell that he had picked an appropriate gift as Kurt's face lit up.
"I thought I should get you something you can actually use at college," Blaine explained as Kurt pulled a large towel out of the box.
"They're monogrammed!" Kurt realized.
Blaine smiled as Kurt pulled the monogrammed portion of the towel up to his face to examine it. "Yeah," he replied unnecessarily.
Kurt looked up at him. "I love them," he said seriously. "Thank you so much."
"You're welcome," Blaine nodded.
As Kurt folded the towel in his arms, Blaine watched him carefully. Were they ever going to talk about Kurt leaving? They had spoken about it a few times, but usually the subject matter was superficial. Blaine had a huge mental list of things he wanted to ask or to say concerning Kurt's departure, but he could tell that Kurt didn't want to talk about it. He was still in denial that going to New York meant leaving.
But, Blaine reminded himself, Kurt wasn't even sure that he was going to New York at all. NYADA had not yet made a decision.
Kurt placed the box on the floor before returning to the bed. Blaine opened his arms and pulled Kurt back into a gentle embrace so they could continue the movie, and he decided to wait. It felt so good to have Kurt wrapped up in his arms that Blaine couldn't bring himself to say or do anything but just soak in the happiness and remember his questions for another day.
KURT
The next afternoon, New Directions gathered in the choir room immediately after school. They were still so excited about their win at Nationals that they couldn't stay away. And, although Kurt would never admit it, he wanted to spend as much time with his friends as he could before they graduated and went their separate ways. For now, they could still be in denial.
He was looking at the huge trophy that now dominated the room's display case and was enjoying the warmth of Blaine's hand in his when the group dissolved into laughter and broke Kurt out of his thoughts.
"What?" he asked Tina, who was sitting on his other side.
"Remember our first number?" Tina managed through her giggles.
"Don't remind me!" Kurt wailed, but he remembered it fondly. They had been terrible, but it was their first moment as New Directions.
"I think we need to see it," Finn suggested.
"No!" the original five chorused.
"Yes!" Some of the others shouted back at them.
Kurt, Rachel, Tina, Mercedes, and Artie didn't need more encouraging than that. They jumped out of their respective seats and the rest of the group moved to fill in the empty space so they could watch the performance.
"Okay," Rachel announced as the group of five reached the front of the room, "we ask that you keep in mind that we haven't done this for a number of years, so it may be a –"
"It's going to suck," Mercedes interrupted. "That's what she means."
The music began from behind them, and Kurt was surprised how quickly the song and (some of) the choreography came back to him as they performed Sit Down, You're Rocking The Boat for their friends.
The group watching the performance laughed and cheered when they finished, and Kurt bowed dramatically with the other four original members of New Directions.
"That was the most ghetto number I've ever seen," Santana complimented as the five moved to find seats so they could start glee club for the day. There wasn't an open seat beside Blaine, so Kurt walked to the side of the room to sit with Mercedes.
"Well then, call me George Jefferson because we went from the ghetto to the penthouse!" Artie replied. "National champs, baby!"
Everyone cheered as Mr. Schu walked to the whiteboard at the front of the room. But, as the teacher finished writing the word "goodbye", the room quickly fell silent.
"This week's assignment is easy," Mr. Schu said to the group. "Graduation is just a few days away. There's nothing left to prepare for."
Kurt turned to look at Blaine, knowing that Blaine would be looking back at him. Blaine looked sad, so Kurt offered a hopeful smile. Blaine smiled back at him, but it wasn't the smile that Kurt wanted to see where Blaine's whole face lit up with happiness. There was still a lot of sadness in Blaine's eyes. Kurt tried not to think about it too much.
"Our work here is done," Mr. Schu continued. "So, there's only one thing left to do. Say goodbye."
Kurt didn't want to say goodbye. But, at the same time, he really wanted to say goodbye. He wished that he could magically transplant all of his friends to New York with him. Especially Blaine.
"Underclassmen, pick some songs to say goodbye to the seniors," Mr. Schu instructed. "Seniors, pick a song to say goodbye to us."
"You know, part of me wants to lock these doors and stay in here with everyone forever," Mercedes admitted.
"We could use the waste basket for the toilet," Brittany suggested. "And then we could eat Joe for the food since she's been here the shortest so we know her the least."
Kurt felt a twinge of sadness as he thought about the fact that soon there would be members of New Directions who he didn't know. Who he might never even meet.
"I really hope you're about to rap," Quinn said as Mr. Schu picked up a guitar.
Mr. Schu laughed. "No such luck," he replied. "I'm leading by example here. This one is for you guys."
"May the good lord be with you down every road you roam. And may sunshine and happiness surround you when you're far from home. Be courageous and be brave and in my heart you'll always stay forever young."
As the teacher sang to them, Kurt thought about all of the moments that they had all shared together. They had come so far since forming New Directions as a group of five enthusiastic but naïve students. And now they had to leave the nest and fend for themselves in the world.
Things would never be the same.
Most of the students had tears in their eyes by the time Mr. Schu finished his song. The teacher dismissed them, as there was nothing to rehearse, and Kurt and Blaine walked to the parking lot together.
Kurt was hyper-aware of his every move as they reached his car and it was time to say goodbye for the afternoon.
"See you tomorrow," he smiled at Blaine.
Blaine stepped forward and kissed Kurt gently on the cheek.
"See you tomorrow," he agreed, and he turned and walked quickly away.
BLAINE
When Blaine got home, he was surprised to find that his parents had prepared an early dinner. They sat down at the table to eat, and Blaine was happy for the distraction. They chatted about insignificant things as they ate, and when dinner was over Blaine went up to his bedroom to work on his final essay of the year. He poured himself into the paper until late that evening, but when he finally climbed into bed he could no longer distract himself from his thoughts.
Blaine was dreading Kurt's departure. He knew that they could make it despite the distance, but he was acutely aware of how much it was going to hurt to have to say goodbye to Kurt for weeks, or maybe months, at a time.
He just wanted to talk about it. He wanted to curl up somewhere with Kurt and talk about it all night long.
Blaine grabbed his phone off his bedside table and sent a text message to Kurt.
I love you.
As he put the phone down, he noticed that it was after midnight, and he cringed a little. Hopefully his message wouldn't wake up the other boy.
His phone vibrated almost as soon as he set it down, and he grabbed it again to find Kurt's response.
I love you too.
Blaine smiled. He felt a little better – they could still do this when Kurt was in New York. They wouldn't be completely cut off from each other.
His phone vibrated again.
And don't worry; I wasn't asleep. But I'm going to sleep now, so see you tomorrow! Goodnight, Blaine.
Blaine could imagine Kurt, also lying in bed, rolling over to go to sleep. He made a mental note to require multiple photographs of Kurt's dorm room in New York so that he could picture where Kurt was when they were both falling asleep.
He sent his response and put his phone down before rolling over and closing his eyes, hoping for a peaceful night of sleep.
Goodnight, Kurt.
KURT
As Kurt walked down the hallway to his locker the following morning, he thought about how he had changed since starting high school.
He had been in the closet back then. Looking back on his life before he had officially come out, he found it difficult to believe that he had fooled anyone, but he had tried.
But he had found the courage to come out. To be himself despite all the people who wanted him to change because his sexuality and personality made them uncomfortable. It had been a struggle, but Kurt was glad that he had fought for himself. He had no regrets. Even Dalton, which had, at first, seemed like running away, had been one of the best decisions of Kurt's life. And not just because of Blaine. His time at Dalton had taught Kurt a lot about what was important to him and had challenged him to think differently. He had returned to McKinley as a wiser man and a better team player.
And with a boyfriend, which had been a nice bonus.
As he walked, Kurt passed a basketball player that was in one of his classes, and the two waved greeted each other. It was still a weird feeling for "popular" students to even give him a second thought that didn't involve throwing him in a dumpster or ruining his clothes with a slushie. But it was a good feeling. It reminded him of his first day at Dalton, when a random student had raised a hand for a high five as Kurt had walked down the hallway.
Kurt opened his locker and grabbed Rachel's yearbook. They had exchanged yearbooks the night before so that they could write something meaningful to each other, but Kurt was still working on what he wanted to say. It felt like an impossible task, trying to write down what Rachel Berry had come to mean to him.
He had to write something for Blaine, too, but that was such an overwhelming thought that he was avoiding it. Blaine hadn't written anything for him yet, either, so he wasn't too stressed about it. If all else failed, he would just write "I love you" a bunch of times and hope that got the point across.
As he closed his locker and walked down the hallway toward the library (where he was meeting Rachel to work on a final project they had for one of their classes), Kurt hoped that he would be able to hold it together this week. He knew that Blaine was going to cry. And Rachel. And maybe even his father. But Kurt didn't want to have a meltdown about graduating from high school.
Rachel was already in the library when he arrived, working at a small table. Kurt sat down across from her.
They worked on their project and chatted about silly things until they fell into a comfortable silence as they concentrated to finish their work.
"Okay," Rachel said suddenly, "so I know we said we'd give each other two days to inscribe each other's yearbooks, but I finished yours."
She pulled his yearbook out of her bag and handed it to him across the table.
Kurt sighed. "I'm still working on yours," he admitted.
"It's okay!" Rachel responded. "Maybe reading mine will give you, you know, a little inspiration."
Rachel kept looking at Kurt, and he wasn't sure if he was supposed to read her message right there or wait for later.
"Now?" he asked.
"No," Rachel allowed. "Read it later."
Kurt started to put the yearbook away, but Rachel threw her arms out.
"No, read it now!" she decided.
"Okay," Kurt smiled, opening the yearbook.
"It's in the back," Rachel directed him. "Sorry if my calligraphy's a little splotchy... some tears were shed."
If she had cried while writing it, Kurt knew he was going to cry while reading it. But he decided to read it out loud anyway.
Dear Kurt,
I love you so much. You have challenged me, inspired me, and taught me the importance of having a signature style. You're the bravest, truest person I've ever met, and because of you I will never apologize for who I am or how I look (even with this nose!).
Kurt stopped reading and looked up at his friend. "I love your nose," Kurt told her, trying not to focus too hard on the tears in Rachel's eyes. He needed to finish reading what she wrote for him.
Thank goodness we're going to be in New York together, because I don't think I could survive there without my best friend and soul mate. Which is what you are to me.
I love you forever, and see you on Broadway!
Rachel Berry
Kurt took a deep, shuttering breath and reached across the table to hold Rachel's hand.
"I love you," Rachel said quietly.
"I love you," Kurt echoed.
Rachel blinked a few times to keep the tears from escaping onto her face, and Kurt squeezed her hand before releasing it.
"Ugh, I'm never going to be able to write something so nice," Kurt teased.
Rachel laughed. "Don't sell yourself short," she encouraged as Kurt put his yearbook into his bag beside Rachel's.
Before their conversation could continue, Kurt's phone vibrated.
Meet me in the auditorium.
It was from his father.
"Who is it?" Rachel asked.
"My dad," Kurt replied, confused. "He..." Kurt shook his head. "I've gotta go. Can you watch my stuff until I get back?"
"Definitely," Rachel agreed.
Kurt hopped out of his seat and hurried down the hallway to the auditorium.
"Dad," Kurt greeted his father, who was sitting on the edge of the stage, "why on Earth did you want to meet me in here?"
He felt a rush of apprehension as he tried to imagine why on Earth his father had come to school and asked to meet him in the auditorium with no warning.
"Oh my god, my NYADA letter came, didn't it?" Kurt asked.
"Not yet," Burt said quickly. Kurt wasn't sure if he felt relieved or even more anxious. Where was the letter? He tried not to panic. Rachel's letter had been late the first time. And Rachel hadn't received her letter this time either. So they hadn't gone out at all yet. It was okay.
"Sit down," his father instructed. "I want to give you your graduation present."
His graduation present?
"Is Elaine Stritch here?" Kurt teased as he approached his father at the front of the auditorium.
"I don't who that is," Burt admitted. "You see, this is the problem with getting you gifts. I can't make heads or tails about what it is you like!"
"Dad, I'm easy," Kurt reassured him as he took a seat. "Just get me something from Tom Ford's Vanities in Vanity Fair."
"Good to know," Burt said.
The older man hopped off the stage to stand in front of Kurt.
"So," Burt got to the point, "somewhere around your seventh birthday, I lost you. Now, before that you were a normal kid. I mean, a kid who liked to dust, but... you know, I read you to bed. I put cartoons on the TV when you were bored. I taught you how to ride a bike. Normal stuff. And then you turned seven, or eight, and you start to become this..." Burt waved at hand at Kurt.
Kurt stayed silent and waited for his father to continue.
"And, uh, it was like I was living with an alien," Burt said. "I mean, I tried to keep up. But, uh, you know, once your mom passed I... I really– I didn't stand a chance."
"You did good, Dad," Kurt disagreed.
"I am proud of what you and I did together," Burt said seriously.
"I'm proud of us, too," Kurt agreed. They were an odd pair, but somehow they were perfect together. Because both of them had tried, and still tried, to see where the other was coming from. And because they loved each other so much.
"Do you remember when it started?" Burt asked, turning to walk up the stairs onto the stage. "When we turned a corner and started walking towards each other rather than in opposite directions?"
Kurt had no idea what was happening as Burt turned to face him from up on the stage.
"Tell me," Kurt suggested.
"Aw, screw that," Burt said with a wave of his hand. "I'm gonna show you."
Show him? Kurt felt a strange mixture of delight and nervousness as he tried to figure out what his father was going to do.
"It was in the, uh, basement of our old house," Burt explained. He pulled a sequined glove out of his pocket, and suddenly Tina and Brittany were walking across the stage toward him. Wearing black leotards.
"You were wearing a unitard," Burt reminded him.
Kurt felt as if his brain had stopped working.
"Oh god. Dad, please don't do this," Kurt said, completely flustered. He started to stand up.
"Sit down," Burt commanded, "and accept your present."
Kurt sank back into his chair, too shocked to argue.
"Hit it!" Burt shouted.
Suddenly, Single Ladies was blaring from the auditorium's speakers, and Kurt was sure that he was living in a dream world as he watched his father do the dance with Tina and Brittany.
It was the best present Kurt could ever have imagined. As soon as they finished, Kurt jumped to his feet to applaud.
His father had just done the Single Ladies dance. His father, who wasn't a great dancer and who definitely wasn't into this kind of thing. Kurt knew that it had probably taken his father many hours to learn the dance, and Kurt was overwhelmed with emotions.
He didn't even notice Tina and Brittany leaving as his father descended the stairs and wrapped him into a tight hug.
"Thank you, Dad," Kurt said.
"I love you, Kurt," Burt replied as he released Kurt and they both stepped back. "I'm so proud of you."
The bell rang signaling a class change, and Kurt sighed.
"You're the best father anyone could ever ask for," he blurted out before he could think about it and stop himself.
Burt swallowed and nodded. "I'm so glad you're you, Kurt," he responded.
They hugged once more, and then Kurt had to run to get his things from the library and get to his next class and Burt had to go to the tire shop to see how things were going. He was spending the entire week at home so he could be around for Kurt's final week of high school and his graduation, and he was using the time to also make sure that his business was still functioning properly without him.
Kurt told the group about his father's present at lunch, and he and Blaine were still talking about it as they left the cafeteria.
BLAINE
Kurt and Blaine didn't have any classes together, but in the final week of school they had a study hall after lunch and the teachers were mostly lenient about which classroom you spent study hall in. So, Kurt had been spending study hall with Blaine. They couldn't study together for their classes, but it was fun to sit beside each other and pretend they had a class together.
"I wish someone had recorded it!" Blaine commented as he followed Kurt down the hallway.
"Best graduation gift ever," Kurt agreed as they walked into the classroom.
"What about those monogrammed towels I got for you?" Blaine teased.
"Ah, you didn't have to get me a gift, silly," Kurt reminded him as they sat down beside each other at a table.
Kurt was still doing that thing where he was making everything no big deal. As they settled into their seats, Blaine decided that this was a good moment to broach the subject. They were in a room with other students, so Kurt wouldn't feel pressured to say too much, but maybe it would get the metaphorical ball rolling.
"Um... we've been putting this off for far too long," Blaine said, shifting in his chair so he was facing Kurt, "but don't you think we should have 'the talk'?"
"Can't we just have two final days of denial?" Kurt asked immediately.
"No!" Blaine scolded. "No, we cannot. This is happening right now, Kurt. It's not some far off thing in the future. You're graduating. I'm not. You know how hard long distance relationships can be. We both saw The Notebook."
Kurt turned toward Blaine.
"Do you want to know how I picture the end of my life?" Kurt asked. "Just like in The Notebook, I'm sitting in a nursing home talking endlessly about my high school sweetheart. My first love. Going on and on about every little detail as if they matter."
My first love. Blaine's chest felt like it was going to crack open, but he was glad that Kurt was talking.
Kurt shifted and leaned a little closer.
"Only, in my version," Kurt continued the story, "he's there with me. Telling me to shut up so he can finish watching the American Cinema Tech salute to J-Lo."
Blaine was listening so intently that he almost didn't understand a word Kurt was saying.
"So... we're gonna be alright?" Blaine asked.
"Yes," Kurt said eagerly, reaching out with both of his hands to grasp both of Blaine's hands on the table. "We're gonna be alright. I told you, I'm never saying goodbye to you. We'll figure out this whole long distance relationship thing, I promise."
"Okay," Blaine agreed as Kurt turned back to the table. He felt better. He still wished that they didn't have to do the long distance thing at all, but Kurt was so sure. So sure that they were together for the long haul. And that was all that Blaine really wanted.
"So," Blaine asked, "have you decided how you're gonna say goodbye to everyone else?"
Kurt turned to look at him again and hesitated for a moment.
"I think so," Kurt finally said. "But it's a surprise."
Blaine smiled and flipped open one of his books, and when he looked back up he was surprised to see that Kurt was watching him carefully.
"What?" Blaine asked.
"I dunno," Kurt said, quickly turning his attention to the task of placing his bag on the floor by his feet.
"It's okay to be sad and anxious, Kurt," Blaine encouraged.
"Yes, Dad," Kurt teased.
Blaine kicked him under the table, and Kurt shot him a pouty expression.
"Can we– can we talk about this more?" Blaine asked tentatively. "Sometime later?"
Kurt looked at him, and Blaine saw the conflict in Kurt's eyes.
"Yeah," Kurt agreed. "Before I leave for New York, we'll talk about it. And not," he added quickly, "the night before I go."
Blaine smiled as their teacher entered the room and instructed everyone to be quiet and get to work studying for their exams at the end of the week.
"Thanks," he whispered, quickly rubbing Kurt's shoulder before turning his attention to his schoolwork.
KURT
That afternoon after school, it was time for Kurt to sing his goodbye song for the group.
"I wanted to dedicate my goodbye song to all of you," Kurt explained as he stood in front of his friends. "But I wanted to mostly thank the men in the room, who have truly inspired me. You never saw me for the things that made us different. You only saw me for the ways that we're the same."
Kurt could feel tears pooling in his eyes, but he didn't fight it. He needed to let some of his sadness out or he was going to explode.
"Because, in this room, it doesn't matter if you're gay or straight," Kurt continued. "What matters is that we're friends."
Satisfied with his introduction, Kurt turned to the band to silently ask them to start the song.
It was a song he had chosen for multiple reasons. The most obvious reason was that the lyrics made sense to how Kurt was feeling as he prepared to graduate, but he also liked the throwback to their Madonna tribute during New Directions' first year and the fact that it could also be interpreted as a song for Blaine. Blaine, who had taught him more than anyone what it meant to be himself.
"Say goodbye to not knowing when the truth in my whole life began. Say goodbye to not knowing how to cry. You taught me that. And I'll remember the strength that you gave me now that I'm standing on my own. I'll remember the way that you saved me. I'll remember."
As he sang, he thought about the group and all the different things that had had learned from each of his friends. He would carry the lessons with him for the rest of his life, but would he always remember the people? Would he know all of their names ten years later?
"I'll remember..."
As the song ended, there was a moment of silence and Kurt and the rest of New Directions just looked at each other.
Then, Rachel jumped out of her seat and grabbed him into a hug, and it quickly transitioned into a huge group hug with Kurt at the center. Kurt closed his eyes as the group squeezed in around him and admitted to himself that he was going to miss this. He was going to miss everything so much.
KURT
"What does Blaine want to do?" Finn asked out of nowhere the following morning when he and Kurt stopped at Finn's locker before school. Finn's car needed work, so he had carpooled to school with Kurt for once. Usually, they drove separately because they often went separate directions after school.
"What?" Kurt asked, leaning against the row of lockers.
"I mean, you know, after he graduates," Finn clarified.
"Oh," Kurt said. "I'm not sure, really... he wants to come to New York – he told me so last year – but I try not to press him for details. I don't think he has decided for sure, yet, anyway."
"You could get married in New York," Finn said, as if the idea had just occurred to him.
Kurt rolled his eyes and started to reply, but Rachel interrupted.
"Hey!" Rachel said as she came up beside Kurt. "Oh, thank goodness you guys are here. Okay, so I called Pace and NYADA... and they sent out our acceptance letters this week!"
Kurt's stomach lurched. He both wanted the letter more than anything in the world and was dreading the letter like he had never dreaded anything in his life.
"Oh my god," Kurt said, bringing his hands up to clutch in front of his face, "that's so exciting!"
"And totally terrifying," Finn added.
"We need to make a pact," Rachel suggested. "When we get our letters, we open them together. In the choir room."
Kurt nodded.
"These letters," Rachel continued, "you know, they're like our futures. So, I want to open mine with my two most important people."
She looked at Finn and Kurt.
"Deal?" she asked.
"Deal," Finn agreed.
"Deal," Kurt said. He held out his hand. "Pinky swear?"
They pinky swore, and as Kurt met Rachel's gaze he felt a surge of excitement. He had killed his audition, and Carmen Tibideaux had given Rachel a second chance to show what she was made of. And they were part of a national championship show choir. Their chances were good.
KURT
Over the next few days, the goodbye songs kept coming and the tears kept flowing. The seniors sang to the underclassmen and the underclassmen sang to the seniors, and everyone took their final exams. Puck passed the exam that he needed to pass in order to graduate, giving everyone a boost of happiness as the week drew to a close.
And suddenly it arrived.
Graduation.
As Kurt stepped out from behind the curtain to get his diploma and officially finish his high school career, he felt hugely nostalgic. Blaine handed him a handkerchief as he walked by, and Kurt managed not to cry too hard until he had joined the group of graduates on the stage.
But it was after the ceremony that the reality of the future really settled in.
Their letters had come in the mail. Kurt had discovered his and Finn's in the mailbox the evening before, and had immediately called Rachel to make sure hers had arrived as well. Now they needed to open them.
"I'm seriously having trouble breathing right now," Kurt admitted as he and Finn tossed their letters onto a stool in the choir room after changing out of their graduation gowns and the clothes they had worn underneath the robes.
"Are you guys ready?" Rachel asked as she joined them.
"I kinda want to wait," Finn admitted.
"For how long?" Kurt asked, open to the idea of a few more minutes of denial.
"Forever," Finn wished. "I'm... just a couple more seconds. But this is the last moment before we know. After we open those envelopes, it's– it's gonna change our entire lives, no matter what's in it."
This was Kurt's concern as well. If it was good news, his life would change for the better. But if it was bad news... Kurt wasn't sure. He had no idea what he would do.
"Either way," Finn continued, "I just kinda want another minute with you guys here like this."
The trio exchanged glances, and they all knew they couldn't wait any longer. It was time to face the future.
"So, who's first?" Kurt asked.
"I'll go first," Finn decided. "I've got a good feeling about it."
Kurt could see Rachel nodding out of the corner of his eye, and he hoped with all his might that this was going to be the start of a triple dose of good news.
Finn reached out and grabbed his letter to open the envelope, but Rachel interrupted.
"Look," she said, "no matter what happens... we're all here for each other."
Kurt nodded, and Finn opened his letter. As Finn pulled the paper out of the envelope, Rachel rushed over to clutch onto Kurt. Kurt could barely breathe as Finn unfolded the letter and read it silently to himself.
"I didn't get in."
Kurt felt as if someone had dropped an anvil into his stomach. He didn't dare look at Rachel. Instead, he let his eyes close as he tried to remind himself that this wasn't the end for Finn. There were more options out there in the world. He felt Rachel pull out of his grasp, and he opened his eyes.
All of his excitement about possibly getting into NYADA had vanished. Now he just felt sick with worry and desperation.
"It's okay," Rachel encouraged Finn, grabbing his arm in support.
"Please, just somebody else open theirs, come on," Finn said.
"I'll go next," Kurt volunteered. He couldn't stand to wait another moment, even if he was about to have his entire life shattered.
Kurt snatched his letter off the stool and tore the single piece of paper out of the envelope.
He didn't even have to read the whole letter. The words "we're sorry" jumped off the page at him, and he just stared at the paper in his hands as the shock slammed into him like a freight train.
"I didn't get in," he managed, knowing that Finn and Rachel were waiting for his results. He looked up from the paper. "I didn't get in."
"Kurt, I'm so sorry," Rachel said, leaving Finn's side to walk over and console her friend. Kurt barely heard her over the sound of his own heartbeat pounding in his ears.
He wasn't going to New York.
He wasn't going to be on Broadway.
He was going to spend the rest of his life stuck in this miserable little town in Ohio.
"Your turn, Rachel," Finn said, coming up beside Kurt. Kurt tried to snap out of his internal pity party to focus on his friend. Rachel could still get in. He wanted her to get in. He needed someone to get out of this town.
Finn shook Kurt gently by the shoulder as Rachel picked up her letter and turned her back to them to read it.
"It's okay, dude," Finn whispered. Kurt tried to nod, but he wasn't sure if he accomplished the task because he was concentrating so hard on Rachel.
She turned back around.
"I got in."
Kurt didn't know how to feel. He wanted to feel absolute joy for his best friend. Rachel deserved this. She worked so hard. She was so talented.
But a wave of jealousy shoved its way into his mind, and he just gaped at her.
He had killed his audition. He had somehow managed to make mostly As and Bs throughout high school, despite all the things that probably should have distracted him from his schoolwork. He didn't have the most amazing list of extracurriculars in the world, but was that really all that mattered to a school like NYADA?
As Kurt watched Rachel react, he knew he had to get a grip. Rachel was one of the twenty. One of the elite who would be studying at NYADA in the fall. This was a huge deal. And he wasn't going to let her be disappointed about her success just because he wasn't having similar success.
"Congratulations!" Kurt said, pulling out of Finn's grasp to walk over and wrap Rachel in a tight hug.
"Kurt –" she started.
"No," Kurt interrupted her as quickly as he could. He released her and stepped back to look into her sad eyes. He let his hand linger on her shoulder for a moment before stuffing his hands into his pockets to avoid crossing his arms over his chest in distress.
The trio looked at each other for a moment, and the silence was unbearable. Without anything to distract him, all of Kurt's emotions started to build up inside of him and he knew that he had to go away or risk ruining the moment for Rachel.
"I just need a minute," Kurt managed to choke out as he turned to leave. To his relief, Rachel and Finn didn't try to stop him. He didn't want pity. He just wanted to figure out what NYADA's rejection meant for his future. He needed to think and just exist all by himself without having to worry about other people.
He wasn't going to New York.
Kurt felt as if someone had ripped his identity out of his body and shattered it into a million pieces before offering it back to him. He felt like his entire life suddenly had no meaning. The past year – sparked by his trip to New York with New Directions the year before, especially his moment on the stage of the Gershwin Theatre with Rachel – had been full of dreams and plans for life in New York after graduation.
Suddenly, Kurt couldn't conjure up the mental image of him and Rachel in a tiny New York apartment. He couldn't imagine himself on a Broadway stage. He could barely remember what New York City looked like.
He might never see it again.
Fear started to shove its way in beside the crushing disappointment. He might be stuck in Lima, Ohio for the rest of his life. Just another sad story of a young man with big dreams who couldn't measure up. What was he going to do?
In a daze, he passed by the door to the auditorium, and he paused. In his devastated mental state, his mind said to him that this might be his last chance. His last chance, ever, to sing on a stage. Before he had to resign himself to a life he had never wanted.
He stepped through the doorway, and he was already singing by the time he pushed aside the curtain and walked into the auditorium's mass of seats. He didn't hurry on his way toward the front of the large room. He wanted to remember this place. This experience. It already looked so different. He was so different. Everything was different now.
You were once my one companion
You were all that mattered
You were once a friend and father
Then my world was shattered
He let his hand drop to brush along some of the seats as he walked. He hadn't properly prepared himself for this moment. He had known that the odds were against him – was he one of the top twenty out of thousands of applicants? – but he had never really allowed himself to consider what would happen if NYADA said no. And now they had.
Wishing you were somehow here again
Wishing you were somehow near
Sometimes it seemed if I just dreamed
Somehow you would be here
The dream of New York and of proving, to himself and to the world, that he was more than a small-town boy had been such a driving force in Kurt's life over the past year. Over the past few years. What was going to push him to be better now? He wasn't one of the best. He felt lost.
Wishing I could hear your voice again
Knowing that I never would
Dreaming of you helped me to do
All that you dreamed I could
He reached the stairs leading up to the stage, and he paused. Following his own advice to Rachel the year before on a much more famous stage, he could imagine what this performance would look like if he wasn't alone in the dark auditorium. He took a deep breath and hurried up the stairs for one final performance on the McKinley stage.
Too many years
Fighting back tears
Why can't the past just die?
Kurt turned around to face the empty auditorium and let his body pour all of his devastation into the song.
Wishing you were somehow here again
Knowing we must say goodbye
Try to forgive
Teach me to live
Give me the strength to try!
No more memories
No more silent tears
No more gazing across the wasted years
As the song released its intensity in favor of a gentler ending, Kurt blinked rapidly in an attempt to clear his vision. Some of the tears escaped and ran down his face, but he didn't care. He didn't feel like having a meltdown – the horrible, body-racking sobbing that he knew would come later – but this was an appropriate moment for a few tears.
Help me say goodbye
Help me say goodbye
As his voice echoed away into silence in the large, empty auditorium, Kurt tried to remember how to breathe. How to think. How to exist.
He had to get through this. He couldn't just give up or he would resent himself forever. But he wasn't sure how he could ever recover from the devastation he was feeling.
Suddenly, something warm wrapped itself around him from behind, and Kurt felt a soft, warm kiss on the side of his neck.
Blaine.
Kurt was so relieved to remember that he still had something good, something amazing, in his life that his diaphragm hitched and suddenly he was really crying. Blaine didn't say anything. Instead, he pulled Kurt down into a sitting position on the stage, wrapped his arms around Kurt's shoulders, and held on to him as he sobbed.
Kurt felt like he cried for a week. He cried until he felt as if his body had run out of water to use as tears, and then he just hiccupped and sniffled until he felt exhausted and a little nauseous. As he quieted, he felt Blaine's grip loosen around his shoulders, and Blaine shifted around so he was sitting in front of Kurt. Blaine's eyes were red and swollen from crying too, and Kurt wasn't sure if it made him feel better or worse that Blaine was feeling this pain with him.
"I love you," Blaine said softly.
There was water left in Kurt's body for tears. Blaine's words led to a new round of crying, and Kurt was a little embarrassed this time as Blaine rubbed his arm and held his hands and just sat with him while he tried to get control of himself for a second time.
"I hate myself," he whined as he started to calm down again.
"Kurt," Blaine scolded.
"I know," Kurt replied quietly.
"I'm so sorry," Blaine said sadly.
"I know," Kurt repeated. "Thanks."
Blaine shifted so he could lean forward and press a warm, salty kiss to Kurt's lips. It felt so good, so familiar. Kurt kissed him back and was sad when Blaine finally pulled away.
"I'm not going to New York," Kurt said. It felt weird to say the words out loud. Maybe this was a dream?
To Kurt's surprise, Blaine scoffed. "In what universe do you need permission from NYADA to go to New York?"
Kurt met the other boy's gaze, and the fire he saw in Blaine's eyes made his heart ache. Blaine wasn't going to let him give up. Kurt didn't want to give up.
"We're going to figure this out, Kurt," Blaine said. He grabbed both of Kurt's hands and wrapped them in his.
Kurt nodded. Somewhere inside, he did know. So he decided to just agree and trust that his emotions would bow to his logical side eventually.
They were silent for a moment, until Blaine spoke again.
"That was a beautiful song," he said.
"The last I'll ever sing in here," Kurt explained.
Blaine's forehead furrowed in thought, and then he seemed to decide something.
"Get up, come on," Blaine said, releasing Kurt just long enough to climb to his feet and offer Kurt a hand to help him up. Kurt hesitated, but Blaine insisted and Kurt allowed Blaine to pull him to his feet.
As soon as Kurt was standing up, Blaine swept Kurt's knees out from under him to pick him up.
"Hey!" Kurt objected, but Blaine ignored him. He spun around a few times, and, despite how he was feeling, Kurt laughed.
"What was that for?" he tried to pout as Blaine gently set him down.
"To get you in the right mood," Blaine replied with a smile.
"You're so weird," Kurt said, but he was smiling. It felt good.
Blaine shrugged and offered a hand.
"That's not a good ending," he said, shaking his hand a little to insist that Kurt take it.
When Kurt grasped his outstretched hand, Blaine pulled him in and wrapped his free arm around Kurt's waist.
"Oh, no," Kurt whined.
Blaine laughed.
"Wicked always makes you feel better," Blaine said sweetly.
"I'm going to cry again," Kurt informed him.
"No," Blaine countered, "you're going to dance with me."
"Ugh," Kurt pretended to whine. But he was so delighted with Blaine's over-the-top attempt to make him feel better that he wasn't about to say no.
Blaine took a deep breath and started to sing.
The trouble with schools is
They always try to teach the wrong lesson
Believe me, I've been kicked out of enough of them to know
Kurt narrowed his eyes at Blaine, but this was helping. Blaine always knew how to remind him that life was worth living. No matter what.
They want you to become less callow
Less shallow
But I say why invite stress in?
Stop studying strife
And learn to live the unexamined life
Blaine paused briefly, and Kurt knew he was waiting to see if Kurt wanted to continue. This time, offering Blaine a smile didn't feel so strange. Blaine beamed at him in return and started to twirl them around the stage as he continued the song.
Dancing through life
Skimming the surface
Gliding where turf is smooth
Life's more painless
For the brainless
Why think too hard?
When it's so soothing
Dancing through life
No need to tough it
When you can sluff it off as I do
Nothing matters
But knowing nothing matters
It's just life
So keep dancing through
Blaine twirled Kurt out of his arms and danced around him, and Kurt laughed and mimicked Blaine's moves as he danced.
Dancing through life
Swaying and sweeping
And always keeping cool
Life is fraught-less
When you're thoughtless
Those who don't try
Never look foolish
Dancing through life
Mindless and careless
Make sure you're where less
Trouble is rife
Woes are fleeting
Blows are glancing
When you're dancing
Through life
Blaine paused again, but this time he gestured with one hand for Kurt to pick up the song.
This wasn't a song that Kurt usually sang, but he wanted to. With Blaine. So, he took a deep breath and sauntered playfully over to Blaine as he continued the song.
Let's go down to the Ozdust Ballroom
We'll meet there later tonight
We can dance 'til it's light
Find the prettiest boy
Give him a whirl
Blaine smiled as Kurt changed the pronouns, and Kurt giggled as he continued to sing.
Right on down to the Ozdust Ballroom
Come on, follow me
You'll be happy to be there
Blaine grabbed Kurt's shoulders and turned him toward the empty auditorium and an imaginary audience, and they sang the rest of the song together.
Dancing through life
Down at the Ozdust
If only because dust
Is what we come to
Nothing matters
But knowing nothing matters
It's just life
So keep dancing through
Blaine applauded loudly as the song faded away, and Kurt started to cry again. But this time there were tears of gratitude mixed in with the tears of sadness. Blaine kissed his cheek as he wrapped him into another hug.
"Thank you," Kurt whispered into Blaine's ear.
"That's a better song to end with, don't you think?" Blaine teased, releasing Kurt and reaching out to wipe the tears from Kurt's cheeks.
Kurt nodded.
"Rachel got in," Kurt told him.
"I know," Blaine said. "I was looking for you and I found Rachel and Finn."
Kurt reached out and grasped one of Blaine's hands in each of his.
"I'm sorry I've been so flippant about graduation," he apologized. "I just always– the future felt so good and I didn't want to think about anything else but how perfect things would be in– in New York."
He had to pause for a moment to keep his emotions in check, and Blaine took the opportunity to speak.
"It's okay, Kurt," he said gently.
"Nothing's okay," Kurt said. "Except you."
Tears filled Blaine's eyes as Kurt looked at him and hoped that Blaine understood how much just being there made Kurt feel like maybe his entire life wasn't over.
Kurt took a long, deep breath. He wasn't sure how much time had passed since they had opened the letters. An hour? It could've been a week for all he knew.
"I've gotta tell my dad," he realized, feeling the panic starting to rise into his throat again. He had to tell Burt that he hadn't been good enough. And that he wasn't sure what he was going to do now.
"He loves you, Kurt," Blaine reminded him. "He's only going to be disappointed because you're disappointed."
"Okay," Kurt agreed halfheartedly.
Blaine was right. Burt was devastated, but he jumped instantly into protective father mode.
"Well, who needs 'em anyway!" Burt announced. "One day they'll see you, you know, up there on the big stage on Broadway and they'll be kicking themselves!"
"Thanks, Dad," Kurt sniffled.
"And hey," Burt leaned in close and glanced around to make sure nobody else could hear him, "at least you're not getting married right out of high school."
"Dad!" Kurt shrieked, slapping his arm.
Finn and Rachel's wedding was only two days away.
KURT
The following evening – the night before the wedding – Kurt and Blaine were cuddling together on Kurt's bed, scouring the Internet on Kurt's laptop for possible things for Kurt to do in the fall (Get a job in New York and audition in his spare time? Find an internship? Apply to a university for a major he had no interest in just to get his foot in the door and then transfer to another university later? Fashion school? Take a year off from school all together and work at the tire shop full time and try to get into NYADA the following year?), when they were interrupted.
"Hey, uh, guys?" Finn knocked on the doorframe. "Can I, uh...?"
"Come in," Kurt beckoned with his arm.
As Finn entered the room, Kurt sat up and realized that something was going on. Finn looked horrible.
"You okay?" Blaine voiced the same concern as he sat up too.
"No," Finn admitted.
Kurt motioned for Finn to sit down on the bed, but Finn shook his head.
"No, I'm just gonna..." Finn made eye contact with Blaine and then turned his attention to Kurt. "I'm not marrying Rachel."
Kurt's mouth fell open in shock.
"What?" he gasped.
"But Kurt. Kurt," Finn stressed, forcing Kurt to focus. "You can't tell her, okay? Not yet."
"I can't... what?" Kurt asked.
Finn decided to sit down on the edge of the bed.
"I talked to her dads already," Finn continued. "Instead of the wedding tomorrow, I'm gonna take her to the train station so she can go to New York."
Blaine made a noise like he wanted to say something, but when Finn and Kurt looked at him he just waved a hand for Finn to continue.
"And, uh, well, I know this is asking a lot," Finn said, directing his words at Kurt, "but it'll be really good for her if you're there."
"Okay, wait," Kurt said. "Just... wait."
His mind was spinning so fast he could hardly form a coherent thought.
"I thought she wanted to defer for a year?" Blaine asked cautiously.
The morning after they had graduated and opened their letters, Rachel had announced that she was going to defer her acceptance to NYADA for a year. So that she could stay in Lima with Finn and Kurt. So that they could all go to New York together.
"She does," Finn replied. "And that's the problem. She's ready now. They chose her now. And no matter how much the rest of us wish we had been chosen, we weren't. But she can't give up her dreams for any of us."
BLAINE
"Isn't that her decision to make?" Blaine finally spoke up.
"The only reason she wants to defer is because of me and Kurt," Finn said. "So yeah, I guess I'm not going to make her get on that train. But I'm going to... ugh, 'dump her' sounds so pathetic... I'm going to set her free."
"She wants to go," Kurt agreed quietly.
Blaine knew that Rachel wanted to go. And he knew that, objectively, it was best for her to go now. To go in the fall. But he had a hard time with the idea that Finn would basically make the decision for her, even if he was doing so with the very best intentions.
He looked at Finn and then at Kurt.
"Okay," Blaine allowed. This wasn't any of his business, anyway. Finn wasn't asking for advice. He was asking for their help. This was about supporting Rachel.
"Thank you," Finn said as he stood up. "Just... thank you."
"We'll be there," Kurt reassured him.
Finn closed the door behind him, and Blaine turned to look at Kurt.
Neither one of them knew what to say.
Blaine reached for the laptop, which he had put on the bedside table when Finn had come into the room, but Kurt caught his wrist. Blaine turned to ask Kurt why he didn't want to continue the search, but the look in Kurt's eyes said everything.
"No," Blaine tried to argue.
"Please?" Kurt asked sweetly.
Blaine groaned in frustration, but he didn't object as Kurt squirmed out of his arms and pulled him into a sitting position.
"Yes?" Kurt asked, casually unbuttoning his shirt.
Blaine knew that Kurt would stop if he asked, but he couldn't think of a rational reason not to take a break from their search. They could finish later that evening. Or the next day.
Blaine reached out and gently pushed on Kurt's chest so that Kurt would lie down on his back with his head at the end of the bed, and he climbed on top of the other boy.
"Yes," he said, leaning down for a kiss as he Kurt's hands trying to tug his shirt off. "Okay, yes."
BLAINE
The next afternoon, Blaine picked Kurt up so they could go to the train station.
Kurt didn't say anything as he climbed into the car, and Blaine could tell that he was waging an emotional war in his mind. They were about to go see Rachel off to New York City so she could prepare to live her dream. Kurt's dream.
"Hey," Blaine said encouragingly, reaching out to nudge Kurt's shoulder. Kurt glanced at him, and Blaine beckoned with his finger. Kurt sighed, but obliged, leaning across the center console for a kiss.
"I'm so proud of you," Blaine said as he settled back into his seat.
"Don't be proud of me yet," Kurt said. "I may still rip the ticket out of Rachel's hands and make a run for it."
"Can I come in your suitcase?" Blaine asked as he backed out of the driveway and started the drive to the train station.
"No," Kurt said, and Blaine was happy to hear the other boy's voice start to liven up a bit, "I'll buy you a ticket for the next train so when you arrive I can be waiting at the station for you."
Blaine hummed his approval, and he heard Kurt stifle a laugh.
"What?" Blaine asked, glancing briefly at Kurt.
"You in my suitcase," Kurt giggled, amused by the mental image.
The laughter got out of control, and by the time they reached the train station Kurt was wiping tears out of his eyes.
"Why am I laughing?" he whined as Blaine parked and turned off the car.
Blaine took a few deep breaths to get his own laughter under control and he twisted in his seat to look at Kurt.
"You don't have to be sad forever, Kurt," he said.
Sadness crept back into Kurt's eyes as he turned to look at Blaine.
"I feel so conflicted," he admitted. "I'm... everything I planned for myself is gone. And Rachel. There's– it's like my brain can't decide if I feel happy or jealous or desperately sad that she's going without me."
He leaned back on the headrest and closed his eyes.
"Everything is just so confusing right now," Kurt mumbled.
"But you're here," Blaine replied, gesturing to the train station even though Kurt couldn't see. "You're here because you're a good friend. And I'm proud of you for that."
Kurt shrugged.
Blaine watched him for a moment, letting a comfortable silence fall between them.
"We need to go meet the others," Kurt said reluctantly as he opened his eyes.
They both got out of the car and walked in silence to where the students of New Directions were waiting with Mr. Schu and Ms. Pillsbury.
"Alright," Mr. Schu said as they approached, "that's everyone... Finn asked us to wait on the platform – it's out of sight – so let's go!"
The group chatted and wandered around on the platform as they waited for Finn and Rachel to arrive. Blaine was happy for the distraction, because he was nervous for Rachel. She loved Finn so much... this was going to cause her so much pain. Even if, in the long run, it was going to be the best thing for her. And maybe even for her relationship with Finn.
Blaine was in an intense discussion with Mike, Puck, and Kurt about whether or not Rachel would accept the ticket and go or if she would refuse the ticket and stay in Ohio when Joe, who they had sent to keep watch, came running back to the group.
"They're getting out of the car!" he informed the group. "Here we go."
KURT
As Finn and Rachel appeared from inside the station, Kurt was glad to see that Rachel didn't look too upset. She was crying, but Kurt knew that this was a huge shock. He would be concerned if she wasn't crying. When Rachel had climbed out of bed in the morning, she thought she was going to be Finn's wife by the end of the day. And now, instead, she would be in New York by the end of the day. Without Finn. Without Kurt.
Rachel didn't say anything as she moved down the line of their friends, but Kurt could see that she was grateful that they were gathered to see her off. Rachel grasped Blaine's arm as she passed, and then she looked at Kurt.
Kurt could see in her eyes the Rachel he loved so much. The confident, driven young woman who knew what she wanted and was not going to stop until she got it right. But he could also see the pain and guilt that she was feeling about going to New York without the boy she loved and without her best friend. Kurt smiled, hoping to encourage her, and Rachel dove into his arms for a hug.
He knew that she wasn't going to be gone forever. Yet. She was just going for a few days to check out the dorms at NYADA and probably see a Broadway show or two with her dads. But Kurt felt like he was saying goodbye to her forever.
As Rachel pulled out of the hug and turned to embrace Mr. Schu, Kurt reminded himself that this was not the time for crying. He needed to smile and be strong for Rachel to help her find the courage to go to New York and to fight for her dreams.
NYADA's rejection didn't mean he was forbidden from going to New York. His life wasn't over. Maybe one day soon his friends would be waving at him as he departed Ohio for the city of his dreams.
Kurt put an encouraging hand on Rachel's back as they walked to the door where she would board the train. He wanted to tell her how much he was going to miss her and how proud he was of her, but he knew better. He could say those things later, when Rachel wasn't so emotional.
Rachel kissed Finn and then quickly boarded the train. She didn't look back.
The group rushed to see if they could find Rachel through one of the windows so they could wave at her until the train pulled away. As she appeared in the large window, Kurt forced away all of his other emotions and just felt happy for his friend. She had worked so hard for this, and he was proud of her for going for it. For not letting anyone hold her back.
As the train started to move forward, Kurt waved until he could no longer see Rachel in the window. He watched as Finn ran alongside the train for a moment until the train was too fast and he had to stop, and, as soon as Finn turned back toward the group, Kurt pushed to the front of the group and reached out for Finn as he approached. Kurt wasn't usually one to initiate physical contact, but he knew that Finn needed a brother right now.
"Thanks, man," Finn sniffled as he pulled out of the hug. He clasped Kurt on the shoulder, and Kurt knew that it was going to be a rough summer for his step-brother.
Kurt stepped aside as Mr. Schu approached, and he turned to find Blaine waiting for him a few steps away.
Blaine reached out for Kurt's hand, and they walked in silence back to Blaine's car. Kurt didn't know what to say. There was nothing they could say to make what had just happened into a purely happy moment.
They climbed into the car, but Blaine didn't start the engine. They just sat there in silence for a moment until Kurt remembered that he had managed to finish writing in Blaine's yearbook late the night before. He reached down to grab his bag from where it was resting near his feet, and he pulled out the red book so he could hand it to Blaine.
"Oh!" Blaine remembered. "I have yours... hold on..." he twisted around and reached into the back seat to grab his bag.
As Blaine dug around for Kurt's yearbook, Kurt thought about Rachel. She had been gone maybe fifteen minutes. What was she thinking? What was she doing? He wanted to text her, but he wasn't sure it was a good idea. Not yet. He was glad that he had managed to finish writing in her yearbook – a message about how her drive and confidence inspired him, how grateful he was that the two of them had each other to lean on, and how much he loved her and believed in her – before this had happened.
Kurt reached out to take his yearbook from Blaine, and Blaine caught his wrist and pressed a gentle kiss to his palm before giving him the book. Kurt smiled at him. He could make it through whatever challenges were waiting for him in the future. Because he had Blaine.
They had each other.
Dear Blaine,
Thank you. Thank you for coming to McKinley and making my senior year more magical than I could've ever imagined. Thank you for helping me find and maintain the courage to be myself no matter who tries to put me down. Even myself. Thank you for inspiring me, encouraging me, and loving me. You saved my life in so many ways, and we – the two of us and what we have together – will always be my proudest accomplishment. Even when I make it to Broadway.
I love you,
Kurt
Dear Kurt,
I love you. I'm going to miss you so much when you go to New York (because you are going!), but I am so proud of you and I can't wait to video chat and talk on the phone and send each other postcards and letters and packages. I'm forever grateful that you stopped me that day on the stairs at Dalton and started our journey together. You have taught me so much about individuality, confidence, and the importance of pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. I love you, Kurt, and I am so excited to see what the future holds for us, together.
All my love,
Blaine
Aaaaaand that's it for season 3! I can't wait to see which parts of this story Glee proves wrong in season 4 (nothing will ever top Blaine suddenly becoming a junior, though). ;) September 13th, come to me!
'Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again' (youtube DOT com SLASH watch?v=jt04Qne8xag) would've been the perfect song for Kurt to sing after he learned about NYADA's rejection, right? It even fits with the title of the episode – the last line is "help me say goodbye"! Anyway... and then there's sweet Blaine, who convinced the Warblers to come with him to serenade Kurt when he returned to McKinley and who sang to his crush in the middle of a crowded GAP. He's totally up for an over-the-top method of cheering Kurt up! ;) And I know 'Wicked' is Kurt and Rachel's thing, but Blaine can be their Fiyero, right? (The song is 'Dancing Through Life' – youtube DOT com SLASH watch?v=of03sHr0O5I)
As always, thank you all so, SO much for being the sweetest bunch of people on the Internet. Your kind words are just the best thing ever and I'm so happy that you enjoy this crazy project. Come say hello on Tumblr – I'm the same username over there (functionaloptimist)! Don't be shy! :)
See you the day after the season 4 finale in the spring for the first episode of season 4! :) I love you all!