Chapa whatevr
I was finaly redy to take on the pokemon legue. I had been trianing and training and now I had a shitload of god pokemon to go to the legue with. I had caught them all and trained tem heeps coz thats how you play the game. They were all SHINY coz thats what it mens when there different colours. They were red and blak. Also they all had ther MEGAEVALUEATIONS which I was the only one to get hem (nintendo send them to me early.)
Anyway I walked up to where the Chompion was. It was like lights on both side like in the game and it looked so fucking sexy lol.
I got there. I GASPED! It was...Gaty!
"Ruby i will make u a deal k? If u win then I will be urs forever but if I win then you must promise to mary me k?
I thoght about it. "K."
I got one of my pkomballs which i had painted real gold with rubies on it anxd I threw it up.
I knew I was gong to win coz Im the best pokemon master ever!111
The pokeball hit the ground and simply lay there.
"WTF is happen!" Ruby shooted incoherently.
Suddenly... wild people appeared!
Emerging from the numerous plot holes in Ruby's story were Eketahuna (formerly known as Zakar), Lord Seavar, The Hallowed Raven, Death of Mortals, BeauKaylee and many more used and abused profiles forgotten to the depths of time.
Natewife soon followed as she was a special little snowflake.
"Uh..." said Eketahuna, amazed at how little and poorly his environment had been described.
(Wow.)
said Lord Seavar.
The others remained silent as the Puppeteer could not be bothered writing responses for them.
(Let's bring guns. I want guns!)
Lord Seavar materialized his ultimate weapon, The Mary-Sue gun. The gun resembled, more or less exactly, nothing like anyone had ever seen before. It was also shiny and had lots of buttons. (Let's test this out eh?) Lord Seavar pointed the gun at Gary/Gray and squeezed the trigger. There was a great and loud noise, then a great and deafening silence as in a poof of purple prose glitter, Gary returned to cannon.
"Wha-What the?" Gary, the now ten year old boy, stuttered in a nasal voice. "Why am I here? I should be catching pokemon, I'm off to become the world's greatest pokemon master, you know."
"WTF is happen?!" Ruby screamed.
"Smell ya later losers." With an arrogant wave, Gary returned to his own universe.
(I'd use this on all the other characters Ruby has butchered, but in all honesty I can't be bothered to write their reactions, much as I love this gun.)
Lord Seavar handled the gun tenderly. (So let's just throw in another plot hole and say I used this gun on everyone while you were reading the above paragraphs.) Lord Seavar made a sandwich simply because.
(Now for the Sue God)
Lord Seavar lazily pointed the gun at Ruby.
"WTF-" She abouted to shouted in a final act of poor grammar just before she exploded in a cloud of glitter. The God Sue was no more.
Lord Seavar picked up the glitter and tossed it in the air. (Here you go Minipeople, have some glitter. In fact have a dragon. Just let me change the settings on this thing to dragon.) As soon as the Mary-Sue gun was switched, the pile of glitter lifted and took the shape of an orange sparkling dragon named Glitterfab. Because dragons are AWESOME!1111one!1
"Yhay!" said Minipeople because he fucking loves DRAGONS!
"Strewth..." said Eketahuna.
(Oh there was one more thing bothering me. One more little Mary-Sue. Or should I say Gary-Stu.)
said Lord Seavar (sexily. Because I can't resist ;)
"Mate, what are you going on about?" Eketahuna shifted uncomfortably.
(Who was the real Gary hmm?)
"I-I don't-"
(Overly tragic past, unrealistic abilities, overly agreeable nature, need I go on? Quite simply you were a Mary-Sue experiment. You were the real Gary.)
"Oh shit," said Eketahuna.
(Indeed. And in addition, I'm entirely sick of you.)
Without hesitation, Lord Seavar turned the gun on Eketahuna/Zakar and the mimicry of real life Gary-Stu disappeared in a puff of logic.
(Wow)
Said Lord Seavar. (Oh look there's still more writing coming.)
It was... A complete and utter troll.
...And now for the results.
You say this stupidity amazes you, however so very few pointed out that this was supposed to be stupid. Indeed your stupidity pained me to the point I very nearly didn't last the year.
Now on this anniversary of The Gratest Pokemon master, shall we take a look at your "witty" remarks, dear flamers?
It seemed painfully few of you actually figured out that this was a troll.
Lunarium Prince 10/6/13 . chapter 44
Yes, from her writing on her profile, as well as the writing on her other story, you can tell that this girl is no troll. This is literally the way she writes. I know from multiple people that she usually types just like that when they chat with her
Is that so?
Fouhei Takayamei 9/22/13 . chapter 7
I had to write another Review...I just can't stop laughing...it's so bad it's funny...No one can possibly be this stupid but I also don't believe anyone would write 44 chapters of a story and waste their own time just to Troll. I've been wrong before though...
Yes, you were wrong.
There were a lot of you that believed much the same, I can count on one hand the number of people who actually saw through this charade. But nevertheless, many of you still believed you were so very witty compared to I and felt the need to boast as such. What a wonderful display of immaturity. Speaking of boasting, a lot of you were certainly a modest bunch:
DespicableFool 8/9/13 . chapter 41
*Humph, sputter* ME, stupid?! Okay, let's put that to the test! I do precalculus for fun, I am on the road to becoming a mechanical engineer, I spent a week at the Space Program, I know my country's history and political inner workings, and I've already completed two college-level composition courses FROM HIGH SCHOOL!
Is this supposed to impress me?
RockytheTyranitar 10/6/13 . chapter 46
Ruby, you can't call me an idiot. I am working on becoming an Aerospace Engineer (rocket scientist) and currently in my college classes I have an average of 102 percent. I think I might be smart enough to figure out that this sucks.
But not smart enough to figure out that it's all fake, my former AcesWild13. I'm sorry to say but rocket science is not particularly difficult, although the media might portray it differently. If you wish to impress me, try Organic Chemistry. While you're at it, try a little modesty.
RockytheTyranitar 8/11/13 . chapter 41
Go ahead hack me. You can't do it. I however could. I won't though. Btw your a bitch.
I don't believe you kid. I can in fact hack you, but it is illegal. By the way, *you're* making yourself look bad. I actually had some respect for you after you apologized early on for your flaming but no, you chose to once again lower yourself just because the troll did. I'm disappointed.
Even if your level of achievement might be better than average, it does not change the fact that you were unable to see this for what it truly was. Instead you foolishly boasted of your own accomplishments, so blinded by your own "brilliance" to realise you had been made the dunce. I should point out that education is no indication of intelligence.
9/15/13 . chapter 44
Rocky the Tyranitar aka The Admin of one of the biggest forums on the site.
Being an Admin or a member of a forum is not impressive. Please everyone, stop thinking that it is.
Another very painful thing I had to endure was your incorrect facts. I did my research, did you? Sadly, no.
Twilit eclipse 9/19/13 . chapter 39
First of all, birch is only applied to women. Disturbing, but true.
First of all, it's "bitch" and no it can be applied to men as well as women, although it is less commonly done.
Dark-Brother16 1/1/13 via Deviant Art
Summer holidays? What?! It's winter, you moron! Even over there, it's only a few hours apart from us! You are not about to have summer vacation. The New Zealand education system has failed you miserably. In America, you would never get away with this, ever.
So let me get this straight, the American education system teaches you that the Southern and Northern hemispheres have the same seasons? Because we're only a few hours apart? *facepalm* I laughed for about ten minutes, I showed my family, they laughed harder. Good god boy, do your research! In New Zealand December-February is summer. How far the countries are apart in hours has zero influence over the seasons.
Raven Paradox re: Your review to The Protector
Do you know what happens to a woman's appearance when she engages in immense physical activity? The woman not only gets "rough," her body develops too much estrogen, she loses her curves and breasts, her chances of fertility lower- i.e. she becomes unattractive.
1/23
My reply via The Hallowed Raven
Your biology is incorrect. Estrogen a family of hormones, the one we are looking for is estriol or E2. This is the hormone that causes females to develop breasts and commence ovulation cycles. Estrogen is fat soluble, meaning that with higher body weight comes a higher level of hormones. So Kifah, having engaged in strenuous physical activity should be of a low body weight. Therefore she should have low levels of estrogen. And she should also suffer some of the effects, being, lower bone density, exhaustion, depression, low fertility and low libido. But such I should point out that these are extreme effects, Kifah would not only need highly strenuous physical activity, greater than what you explained, she would need a very poor diet, which seems unlikely given the care her manager gives her. This poor diet would also leave her weak, not very fit for assassin's work.
2/11
Ah Minighost, I am very surprised that a biology major did not understand these very basic workings of hormones. I can only assume that the American curriculum is much easier than ours.
While we are speaking of biology, I should point out to the numerous people who thought otherwise that many babies are in fact, born with hair. Therefore it is not impossible to name a child after the colour of their hair albeit it is rather stupid.
Daedric Prince of Oblivion(Oh how your stupidity hurt…).
And it's illegal to have sex if you're under the age of 18.
THUSFORTH, if your claims are correct, both you and Zakar have been breaking the law.
Wrong. The age of consent in New Zealand is 16, you may also get married at 16. Look it up if you don't believe me but I assure you I am well familiar with the law.
BUT, in the story, you constantly mention you have an English teacher who likes this story. However, you haven't had a birthday since you started the story, and the leaving age for schools in New Zealand is 16. You clearly don't understand the school leaving age rules.
Pretty much, SIXTEEN MEANS LEAVEY SCHOOLY HAPPY FUN TIME DERPY HERP, in your language of stupidity.
-Penguin
Wrong. So painfully wrong. As I said repeatedly and if you had the intelligence to research properly (especially since I had just proven you wrong on the previous count), school leaving age means that you no longer legally have to attend school NOT that you must leave school. So some people WILL leave school at 16, but not if they wish to pursue higher education, then they may stay at school until the age of 18 (possibly 19 if they need to repeat some classes).
But alas, under such a stupid persona, I could not point this out. So instead listen to this conversation friends:
RUBY: then y r there heaps of 17 and 18yrs at my school hmm?
7/10
Then why is there no proof of this, hmm?
-Penguin
7/10
RUBY: u r soooooo stupid
7/10
Oh, no no no no no. You've just been backed into a corner. And as such, you lose! :D
7/11
RUBY: FUKKING LOOK IT UP DUMARSE WHAT DOES SCHOL LEAVING AGE MEAN!
7/11
It means the age you legally have to leave school at, dumbass!
-Penguin
7/11
Oh, look, you've been proven wrong and now you're not responding! I think that means I win, again. And it just backs up the argument that you are a hateful, cowardly, despicable, stupid little... CHICKEN!
BAWK BAWK BAWK!
-Penguin
7/13
BAWK BAWK CHICKEEEN
I WIN
BAWK BAWK CHICKEEEN
Are you too chicken to accept our challenge?
CHICKEN!
-Penguin
7/17
CHICKEEEEEEEEEEN
YOU'RE TOO CHICKEN TO REPLY! :D
bawk bawk CHICKEN
So, I win the argument, seeing as you've been too scared to reply for two weeks now! Haha!
And you've proven to everyone you're a worthless CHICKEN by not accepting their challenges!
YOU
LOSE
BEEEEEEEEETCH
(I'm sure you can imagine me with my head in my hands...)
Oh, and for the love of god, stop writing fanfics. Please. For everyone's good.
Not only are they remarkably shit, but everyone hates 'em!
-Penguin
7/26
Wow, you still haven't replied.
I win.
-Daedric
9/03
I didn't reply because there is no sense in arguing with stupid. This is something you troll feeders don't seem to realise.
Now as for the undecided, some of you tried to obtain proof, one way or another.
zharza Your facebook account
Are you seriously real? I'm having difficulty finding your facebook account . . . or anything else, really, unless that's you spelling your name incorrectly. Or you could be giving us a false name. Either way, I'd like to know asap for my next flaming chapter!
Anyway. Yeah. Hit me back with a PM... or something...
please?
Right... this a normal thing to ask someone... Why on earth would anyone reveal that information under this circumstance? (However zharza did admit that this probably came across as creepy)
I'm going to repeat the question from the subject:
ARE YOU A TROLL?
Please answer. Thank you.
zharza.
Do you really think that that's going to get you an answer? Fail.
Some of you developed your own theories as to what this troll was. Unfortunately, you shot off in completely the wrong direction.
To Umeko the God and followers of this theory, I am NOT in/from/have ever even been to Germany. The site simply is very poor at registering locations.
In addition, this was NOT a marketing ploy to boost the popularity of Zakar/Eketahuna's story (which are, for the record, quick first drafts and rather terrible.)
As for what I really am, oh I gave you all so many hints. Which brings me to my next flamer,
SuicideReaper. You struck me as a nice guy so I tossed you a few pretty soild hints as to what I was. But alas, it was for nought. I did however, enjoy the 3-way conversation with you as all of Ruby, Eketahuna and Death of Mortals.
Now let us see an edited-for-length version of the following PM converstation:
Sui: I just read your reviews for Ruby's story and I just wanted to thank you for trying to help her improve. Doesn't look like she ever would though...
6/22
Eketahuna: Hmm, nah I don't think she will. I think she's doing it for attention.
6/22
Sui: ...you seriously think she's doing it for attention? ...I kinda disagree with that...she's fourteen, right?
6/22
Eketahuna: I don't know... she ain't as stupid as she makes herself out to be. I tried to help, then realised she was trolling.
6/22
Sui: So she's just trolling with us?
6/22
Eketahuna: I'd say so.
6/22
Sui: ...doesn't seem like it...
6/23
Sui: How's Ruby doing? I'm arguing with her right now...but don't tell her that I'm talking to you at the same time. Keep this a secret, please? ...she truly is an idiot...hope the baby doesn't turn out like her...damn genes...
6/30
Eketahuna: Did she say she was pregnant?
6/30
Sui:
Don't know.
6/30
Eketahuna: Well hopefully she doesn't have a baby, but I highly doubt she will.
Sui: Who knows?
Eketahuna: Well from what I know, she won't.
Sui: Cause she doesn't have sex like she says she does?
Eketahuna: Sort of.
Sui: Exactly.
Eketahuna: Well I guess you just won't understand some things mate.
Sui: That's true...especially when Ruby's involved...
Eketahuna: More to it that you know mate.
Sui: She's so self-centered. She thinks I want to have sex with her, the slut.
Eketahuna: Oh god. Maybe she's just having you on mate.
Sui: Maybe, but it gives me an excuse to insult her.I certainly am enjoying it :}
Eketahuna: Really? Thought you'd be annoyed...
Sui: Naw. Not really. Occasionally when she starts going off on how "smart" and "beautiful" she is.
Eketahuna: Yeah but what if she was just playing with you and playing dumb? Would you be pissed off then?
Sui: Doesn't look like she's playing dumb. Are you sure she's as smart as you say?
Besides, at least I manage to piss her off.
Eketahuna: Meh, it ain't hard to fake stupid. Trolls do it all the time.
I don't think she cares dude.
Sui: Well, I don't exactly care either. So it doesn't matter to me. She just laughed at me right now and said I "splet rong"...
Eketahuna: Hmm... just gonna keep feeding the trolls eh?
Yeah... I know for a fact she can spell better than that
Sui: Yup! I'm bastardly that way. Their feeding entertains me because they think they're tricking me. That just proves her stupidity, laziness, and disregard for rules then! What a perfect combination!
Eketahuna: Not as much as me haha.
Well she gets attention for it so it seems to work...
And Sui, aka Darkforestsinger, I knew as soon as you made that Deviant Art account that it was you, the hints being your name, gender, lack of location and finally when you noted me, your writing style.
While I'm on that topic, Hatersgonnahate987 is not me, and I'm almost certain I know who it really is.
I actually hinted pretty hard to quite a few of you about who I really was. Very very few picked up on it. Not even my sense of irony.
Paula-Ana 10/5/13 . chapter 46
Who the hell would ask you for drawing advice? You can't draw... For that matter, who would ask you for writing advice?
The irony burns. I'll let you figure out why.
Dark Brother 16 10/6/13 . chapter 46
You are lying. Noone wants your help. You can't draw, you can't write, and you are not going to a University. You are going to High School. You don't get A's, you lying whore. We all know that if you were getting A's, you would be spelling things correctly. You know what grade I have given this story so far? A thirty. To you, that's 30%. That is an F, not an A!
Am I lying? Guess you'll never know. And given that this "story" was supposed to be bad and it scored an F, I think that should count as an A. Thank you Brother. By the way, "Noone" is not a word, I've seen you use it a lot.
And now for something completely different. The fail trolls.
TinkabellaRockafella 6/2/13 . chapter 33
yAy!1
A new CHAPTAR!1
Imm soo happy day ther're is a new CHAPTAR up today!111
i reply enjoy reding a story on here bee4 bed!1111111111111
This is how not to troll. First you failed to recognize another troll. Second you piggy-back off its fame. Third it is so glaringly obvious that you are a troll because no one ever spells that badly. Fail.
JesterBell 9/23/13 . chapter 45
Whoa. All one line of that sex scene was INTENSE! Wow, you put fifty shades of grey to shame (not that THATS hard). I hope to be seeing more from you!
Please*
Of course I knew this was sarcasm, I'm surprised how many other reviewers failed to see this. Even JesterBell was when zharza asked:
JesterBell: You know, you'd be surprised at how many people I've been asked that same question off. The answer is still yes; I was being sarcastic.
Saurus the Trouble Lister Now you would have been an alright troll (you didn't fool me but you did stir Dark Brother 16.) But you failed when you didn't realise that I was a troll and when you revealed yourself. You're certainly not nearly as great as you believe yourself.
Or how about this? Вы знаете, как говорить на русском? Maybe this one? Viete, ako sa hovor
í slovenská?
Okay, an explanation. The first quotation is Japanese. You said you were Japanese, right? Well, the other two are some of my more native quotes. They are Russian and Slovak.
You see, I am part Russian, and therefore I know those two languages. In that way, I am better than Dark Brother 16. See, he's part German, but he doesn't know German, as far as I know.
Yesterday 4:47PM
*Headdesk* If you are going to claim to speak another language then do not use Google Translate. It is glaringly obvious you can't speak any of these languages, for one you used English grammar...
Why would being part Russian automatically mean you know Russian and Slovak? And no, it does not make you better.
A lot of people are part German and do not speak German. It does not make one person better or worse than another. In any case, it would be far more correct to refer to Dark Brother as American, not German.
On a different note, Dark Brother and Despicable Fool, you told me I was foolish to put up my "real name" due to identify theft, yet you revealed your home address, your real name and even offered to pay money toward an airfare so I could find you (if you were actually serious about that I could have both obtained your bank details and disappeared with your money) What does this tell you?
Let us change the subject again and look at some "hippocrites."
OrangeHokkaido 9/15/13 . chapter 44
One last thing, this chapter has MA content and I will be reporting you for that.
No, that chapter was not MA content as it was not graphic but merely suggestive. However your favorite story list contains plenty of MA slash content which does break site rules. Hypocrite much?
Beyond An Anomaly11/6/13 . chapter 47
If you wanted to make people laugh, you failed with your idiocy...
...This fic is not funny whatsoever. Nothing about this is funny. If anything, it's grating and a waste of everyone's time... And if you are, in fact, a troll, then whatever. Have fun being an idiot and screaming at those who read this story "for the lulz"...
Lolwut? Failed with my idiocy? Do you not realise why people are reading this? Oh yes you do, for you state that people are reading this "for the lulz" And for someone who claims to write humor, according to your profile "
I mainly write humor/parody stuff, since I find it extremely easy for me to crack a joke or get random"
Lol no, you have no sense of humor or rather, yours is not funny.
If you wanted to waste people's time and add a stain onto the front page of the most reviewed stories on FanFiction while plaguing the world with your supposed problems and ridiculous dumbassery, then congrats. You've succeeded in that too.
U mad bro? All I hear is jealousy that I have so many more reviews that your supposedy "humorous" stories.
K 8/15/13 . chapter 41
I have a permenant solution that would surely help with all of the flames and people yelling at you: I would strongly suggest that you invest in a beta-reader, because it would help you immensely. The flow of your writing is extremely confusing and sloppy written.
Reviewers are allowed to give you constructive criticism showing the positive and negative area's of where and how this story needs ALOT of work. You need to add more desciption in the paragraphs, and not just one sentence. I also noticed alot of spelling and grammar mistakes, using the spelling and grammar check that fanfiction would help you too.
I'm 22 years old sweetheart and can write alot better than you ever will. I've seen ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, and fourteen year olds that can spell and use the English language better than you. People have left me reviews pointing out my spelling and grammar mistakes. I accept criticism and I welcome it. All of us do.
Sorry but you cannot write better than I. I at least know how to spell "permanent" and "description" and I also know that "alot" is not a word. And you're twenty two? My God...
Raven Paradox 8/9/13 . chapter 41
I've said it once, and I'll say it again:
You are a cunt, and only by some miracle will you change. But until then, do the human race a favor and get out of my gene pool via shotgun mouthwash.
Raven Paradox/minighost
I also beta-read your story, not once but twice. In fact I believe you took it down and rewrote it soon after I did, remember Zakar and The Hallowed Raven? I read your new work, it still needs work as does your attitude. Your arrogance is most unbecoming, you do remember your incorrect biology lesson to me? Do you need another reminder?
Now for some more random topics.
DespicableFool 8/9/13 . chapter 41
You shouldn't be playing with guns, kid- they're too dangerous for you. Besides, I don't think you're ready for the kickback from firing that thing. Seriously, though: I spent an entire week at a Boy Scouts camp trying to earn a Merit Badge for Shotgun Shooting. The biggest thing that was getting me for the longest time was the kickback- it made my shoulder purple after two or three shots! And shotguns may be able to spray bullets everywhere, but it's still hard to hit a target with a shotgun. Trust me on this one- I've done it before.
...You couldn't hit a target... with a shotgun... Indeed you're not fit to give me advice on the usage of guns. You clearly held the gun incorrectly if you bruised so easily... And shotguns do not "spray bullets," they scatter pellets.
DespicableFool 8/9/13 . chapter 41
You'll hack my account? You literally can't even spell your name! How do you expect me to take this threat seriously? First, you'll need to guess my password correctly- good luck with that
Deceivingly Cute 8/12/13 . chapter 41
Frankly, you can't hack my account. My Password is like freakishly long, and I change it about monthly. Good job figuring it out bozo.
No no no no no no no! That is NOT how you hack. Hacking is NOT guessing passwords. It is the usage of computer programs to access computer coding and changing some variables.
E (aka Agent Epsilon 0010) 6/3/13 . chapter 1
FREEDOM OF SPEACH, BITCH! FREEDOM OF FUCKING SPEACH! USA! USA! US OF FUCKING 'MERICA
Where am I on that FUCKING LIST?! YOU SEE, COMAPARED TO HER STARFISH ARE FUCKING EINSTIEN!
*Speech* You're not on there because this is how I successfully pissed you off.
*Sigh* Indeed I hope you enjoyed pointing out the very very obvious. Tell me, dear feeders of the troll, do you still feel clever now?
ralphonso 8/8/13 . chapter 41
I have a feeling that this was a very elaborate troll, and we all fell for it...
Nicely put.
Paste your document here... (Just kidding)