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Chapter Eighteen
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"So was the rest of the band totally pissed that you left in the middle of the tour?" Roxas settled into bed after a day of moving his stuff back into their trailer.
"Of course they were… but I don't care. Ventus was starting to get on my nerves anyways, little bitch that he is… and Aqua's creepy mothering thing that she does was pissing me off."
Roxas laughed a little, "She means well… she just wants to make sure you're okay, same as I do. How'd Terra take it?"
"That asshole has never liked me anyways… but he was more than happy to step in and cover the vocals. I swear, the vulture was just waiting for me to quit…"
"…Wait a minute, you quit?"
Vanitas shrugged, "Nah… not officially. But they keep telling me they're gonna kick me out."
"They'd be totally fucked without you. Terra might as well be murdering the vocals when he does them. Besides, he can barely make it through one show without losing his voice," Roxas rolled his eyes, "They'd be stupid to kick you out."
"Ventus' addiction is getting worse… I'm worried about the kid. He gets so strung out that he doesn't remember half the songs…" Vanitas sat down next to him on the bed, clearly stressed out.
"I thought you guys were going to send him to rehab… whatever happened with that?"
He laughed a little, "The kid escaped. Literally pulled off this grand, intricate escape plan and busted out of there. We can't get him to go back…"
"Damn… he really likes his coke…" Roxas mused, a bit impressed by his tenacity.
"As long as Aqua is with him, I think he'll be okay…" Van laid down, turning his bedside lamp off. "Besides, Terra would kick his ass all the way back to rehab if it got really bad."
Roxas immediately snuggled into Vanitas, leaning in to steal a kiss, "I missed you so much… I made some fucking stupid decisions without you…"
"Like agreeing to star in a porno?" Van chuckled uneasily.
"No… like going out with a total creep. Oh, it was awful…"
"You… went out with someone else…?" Van raised an eyebrow, "You didn't mention that…"
The blond laughed, "Okay, so here's what happened… There was this asshole actor starring in the new movie with Axel, and he threatened me into going on a date with him because he said he'd hurt Axel… So I went out with him and apparently he drugged me, then jedi-mind-fucked me into thinking I had a great time. It was fucking ridiculous… We went out for like three days before Axel finally lost it and punched the guy in his face. Oh, and him and Axel used to date too, like ten years ago… isn't that insane?"
Vanitas remained silent for a moment, "…So… he raped you…?"
"I mean, yeah… technically… But I got a good swing in too. You should have seen the look on his face when I hit him. And then we totally ran him off the set. That's why I'm in the movie now."
"Jesus, Roxas… it's like I'm not even talking to the same person…"
The smaller man looked up at him, "What do you mean?"
"You're laying here talking about punching guys and being raped like that's just a normal thing for you now. I remember when you wouldn't hurt a fly… when sex was actually a special thing for you. Now you talk about it so casually…"
"Vanitas, you know that our time together is still incredibly special to me, right? I mean, yeah… I definitely have a more casual attitude about sex now, but… how else could I function in my line of work?"
The raven-haired man just sighed, "I don't know, Rox… I just never thought you'd be in the industry at all…"
"I didn't either… but do you know how much more they're paying me to do this movie? It'll be worth it… Plus, it's nice to be acting again."
"You're fucking people for money, Roxas. If it wasn't being filmed, it'd be illegal," Van deadpanned, pushing the younger off of him and turning away.
Roxas whined softly and flung himself over Van, "Hey, don't shut down on me. You were the one who came to me… You asked me to take you back. You don't get to do this."
"You're different, Roxas… and I need to figure out if it's for better or worse."
"So what're you saying? That after all of this shit, you're just going to leave me again?!" he demanded, sitting up and turning the light on.
Vanitas turned around and scowled, "I'm saying that I need time, Rox! You're not the same guy I was in love with anymore! Let me figure things out!"
"What, so in the meantime you're just going to lead me on? Get my hopes up so you can dash them to pieces when you decide you don't like me anymore?"
"That's not what I'm saying, Roxas… Just… let me adjust to the new you. Now lie down and hush…" Van tugged him back down and flipped the light back off.
The blond pouted a little, "I don't wanna lose you again, Vani… I'll try to be better for you."
"Shh…" Van pulled him into his arms, "Be yourself, Roxas. Just try to understand why I'll need a little time to adjust to all of this."
"Would it help if I didn't talk about my job anymore?"
Van sighed, "It might… at least for now. And try not to mention Axel, okay? I'll try to get along with him, but every time I hear his name all I can do is picture him fucking you…"
"Oh… okay… I'll try not to bring him up…" Roxas mumbled. Axel was his best friend now… how was he supposed to filter him out of every day conversation? They spent more time together than he and Van did during the week.
"It'll get better, Roxy…" Vanitas tried to soothe him, running his fingers through Roxas' touseled blond locks. "I love you…"
There was a strange feeling in his gut… but Roxas ignored it. "I love you too, Vani. I really hope we can make things work this time."
…
Axel was losing it… Helping Roxas move his stuff back out had been the last straw. He was so… fucking… lonely… and he hated it.
Work the next day was difficult for him… he was working with Roxas again, but every time he looked at him he felt like he was being kicked in the chest.
"Fuck…" he grit his teeth, gripping his head as another horrifying headache tore through his brain. He'd been getting headaches more and more often lately, but he was pretty sure it was just from the stress of being totally in love with a guy that had friend-zoned him so hard.
"Axel, are you going to finish the scene or what?" Xigbar's voice floated in one ear and out the other. "Axe… Axel… you look like you're about to throw up. Are you okay?"
Roxas turned around and looked up at him, "Axel? What's wrong?"
"Nothing… I just have a headache…" he grumbled, "Can someone get me some Asprin?"
One of the crew members brought him the Asprin and a cup of water, but it didn't even begin to touch his headache.
"All right… start rolling again… I'm good," he mumbled, trying to get back into his zone.
"Axel, are you sure you're okay?" Roxas asked him again, concerned about the severity of the headache.
He ground his teeth together, wishing that everyone would stop talking to him and just let them finish the scene. "I'm fine. Keep filming!"
"All right… action…" Xigbar raised his hands in defense, letting Axel have his way.
The rest of the scene was a blur to him… his head was pounding so hard that he could hardly hear Roxas recite his lines. But somehow he made it through, and it must have been good enough for Xigbar because he called it for the day.
"Is your head still hurting…?" Roxas asked him tentatively, wrapping his robe around himself.
"Eh… I'll live…" he mumbled, trying not to look too hard at the stage lights. Was this a migraine?
The blond furrowed his brow, "You look like you're in a lot of pain, Axe…"
"I just need to sleep it off… Let it go!" he snapped, startling the kid a little.
"Fine… I'll see you tomorrow…" Roxas brushed past him, heading for the locker room.
Axel sighed and headed for his dressing room. Roxas had even moved out of there… Apparently he'd rather share a nasty locker room with the rest of the cast rather than be around him. He was sure it was probably Vanitas' doing… Roxas had backed off from him a lot since they got back together. Sure, they were still friends… but he wasn't priority anymore. And that hurt worse than the headaches.
…
A/N: AXELLLLLL. I love him so much, why am I writing such a sad role for him?! I'VE GONE INSANE!
Heh… I love coke-head Ventus. XD I can just picture him all tweaked out and shit. And don't hate on me for making Aqua and Terra the other band members… I had nobody else!
Ooh, so you all should check out my bestie's fic, "Angel" by Rosekun25. She's awesome. :3 It's kind of dark, but it's good! She's the one I bounce my ideas off of when I write. :P
Anywhoooo… thank you for the support, guys! Keep leaving me those wonderful reviews!
(Any guesses as to why Axel is getting headaches?)
Tata for now!
Simply Rexene