This episode picks up immediately where the previous episode ended... :)
(I do not own Glee or any of the characters, dialogue, or songs from the show. It's all just for fun!)
BLAINE
Marley had regained consciousness by the time Jake and Ryder each hooked one of her arms over their shoulders so they could help her to the choir room, but she was very weak.
"Give her some room! She needs space," Unique urged as Ryder and Jake half-carried Marley into the choir room. "Breathe, girl, breathe!"
"Does anybody have anything she can eat?" Kitty asked desperately.
"I have some leftover Halloween candy in my locker," Tina suggested.
"I may have a juice box," Blaine remembered.
"I'll go get Marley's mom," Joe said as Blaine ran across the room to dig through his bag. He found the juice box quickly and tossed it to Sam so he could give it to Marley.
"No, I'm okay," Marley refused.
"Drink the damn juice!" Kitty cried.
"Marley!" Finn ran into the room. "Are you okay? What happened?"
"She hasn't been eating," Jake explained. "She's been skipping lunch."
"Is that because you've been telling her to?" Santana turned to Kitty. "You trying to turn her into a damn rexie?"
"What?" Kitty denied it. "No, why would I– why would I want that?"
"Because you're a crazy, evil bitch," Santana assessed.
"Hey," Mr. Schu rushed into the group, "Marley, you alright?"
She nodded.
"The nurse is on the way, Mr. Schu," Finn explained.
"Santana," Mr. Schu turned to the group, "Puck, you stay with Marley. The rest of you guys get back out there. Leaving the stage mid-competition, for any reason, is risking immediate disqualification."
"What? That– that's a rule?" Finn doubted.
"Yeah, it's a rule," Sue said as she strolled into the room. "One of the bylaws, actually. As all of you were spiraling into a self-created K-hole of crazy, the judges, by unanimous vote, have declared the Warblers victorious."
"Hey, congratulations, Finn Hudson," Sue added. "For the first time in its charmed yet pitiful existence, the New Directions has lost Sectionals. But here's the good news. Christmas came early for one Sue Sylvester."
Marley dropped her head into her hands and burst into tears as Sue left the room. Everyone else just looked around in stunned silence.
"What..." Finn finally managed. "This is– this is crap! They can't disqualify us for helping someone who fainted!"
"Actually, they can," Santana reminded him. Blaine glared at her.
"Guys, guys," Mr. Schu said his voice as the group started to internalize what had just happened. "Let's just... be calm, okay? Marley, how do you feel?"
"Who cares?" Tina whined.
"Tina!" Blaine snapped.
"I'm sorry," Marley sobbed.
As the nurse arrived, everyone backed away to give her space to check on Marley, and Blaine realized that this was it. He had just sung the last song of his high school show choir career.
KURT
Once everyone was gone – Brody had been the last to leave, whispering something in Rachel's ear just before he breezed out the door that made her lean into him and giggle shyly – Kurt and Rachel changed into more comfortable outfits and started cleaning up the surprisingly manageable mess left behind after their crazy Thanksgiving party.
"Can you believe that just happened?" Rachel squeaked as she emerged from her room. "I told you this was going to be the best Thanksgiving ever!"
Kurt smiled as he carried dishes from the living room to the kitchen. "Guess what?" he asked coyly as he passed his friend.
"Oh my god, what?" Rachel asked excitedly.
"I talked to Blaine," Kurt confessed.
Rachel gasped. "Kurt! What did he say?"
"Well," Kurt explained, "it was more of me talking and him listening. I just... I think we can be friends. I think I want us to be friends. Again."
"Aw," Rachel approved. "That's so great! Did he tell you about Sectionals?"
"They hadn't performed yet," Kurt said.
"Did you tell him about our fabulous Thanksgiving?" Rachel teased.
Kurt rolled his eyes. "No," he answered, "but, speaking of our fabulous Thanksgiving... you and Brody seemed comfortable."
"Admit it," Rachel said happily, "he's sweet."
"A little," Kurt allowed.
Rachel nodded triumphantly and set to work washing the dishes in the sink as Kurt's phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out, expecting to see his father's name but finding Blaine's name, instead.
"Hello?" he answered, trying to keep his voice neutral. It was so nice not to completely dread Blaine's calls.
"We lost," Blaine announced sadly as Kurt walked into his section of the apartment for the illusion of privacy.
Kurt gasped, but Blaine continued before he could say anything.
"I thought it was going really well," Blaine explained, "but Marley fainted right at the end of our first number and we were disqualified."
"Are you serious?" Kurt scoffed. "But why would they–?"
"Apparently, you're not allowed to leave the stage for any reason," Blaine replied. "And we rushed Marley off to the choir room to make sure she was okay and... the Warblers won."
Kurt hummed his sympathy. "Are you okay?" he asked.
"Is it okay that I called?" Blaine asked abruptly, as if he had suddenly realized that maybe it wasn't.
"Yes," Kurt reassured him.
"Then I'm okay," Blaine said, and Kurt could hear the smile in his voice.
"Good," Kurt said.
"Well, uh, Happy Thanksgiving, Kurt," Blaine said. "Thank you so much for calling earlier. Thank you."
"Happy Thanksgiving," Kurt replied. "Sorry about Sectionals."
"Love you," Blaine said.
"You too," Kurt said. "Bye."
He hung up the phone and walked back into the kitchen where Rachel was humming absentmindedly to herself as she washed the dishes.
"That was Blaine," Kurt explained. "They lost."
Rachel gasped.
"Apparently," Kurt explained, "the new girl, Marley, passed out on stage and the Warblers won."
"Oh my god," Rachel worried. "So, wait... that's it, then. What're they going to do now?"
"I dunno," Kurt said. "I just feel bad for Blaine. If he was still with the Warblers, he'd be on his way to Regionals right now."
"You think I should call Finn?" Rachel asked.
"If you think it's going to make him feel better," Kurt said skeptically.
"No," Rachel agreed, "I don't actually... it'll probably just make him feel worse. Imagine coming down from one loss just to be reminded of an even bigger one."
"Well," Kurt said as he collected dirty plates from the living room, "our friends' feelings aside, it's really woken me up to the idea of making the most of the chances that you have, you know? I've got one more chance at getting into NYADA and I can't blow the audition."
"It's not your last chance, okay?" Rachel said. "I mean, you can still re-apply."
"No," Kurt disagreed. "I can't live my life chasing something that the universe is trying to tell me that I'm not good enough to achieve."
"It's not the universe," Rachel said. "It's just Carmen Tibideaux."
"Is there a difference?" Kurt teased. "Speaking of Carmen, has she started passing out her golden tickets for the winter showcase, yet?"
"No," Rachel pouted, "and it doesn't matter, because I'm not getting one. Alexandra Blasucci was the last freshman to get one in the past seven years and she was practically raised on the Broadway stage. Wait," Rachel realized, "how did you even know about those tickets?"
"I have become very active on the NYADA blogs," Kurt explained. "I figure the more I know, the better I can streamline my application and audition."
Kurt put a record on their turntable so they could listen to some classical music while they cleaned.
"The Winter Showcase is like the NYADA Met Ball," he recalled. "Ten students are invited to perform at the showcase a year; the cream of the cream. She hand writes and hand delivers each invitation. Just getting invited is an honor. Former winners have gone on to win Emmys, Tonys, Golden Globes, and even an Oscar. But they all agree; the proudest and greatest moment of their careers was when Carmen handed them that golden envelope."
He wandered over to sit down at the table with Rachel. She looked nervous.
"You're amazing," he reminded her. "Don't count yourself out yet."
"I know," Rachel sighed. "It's just hard to imagine me getting one when there are so many incredibly talented people at NYADA."
Kurt shrugged. "Well," he said, "time will tell. Right now, can we finally get some sleep? This has been the Thanksgiving of a lifetime, but I am tired."
KURT
The long weekend passed much as Kurt expected. They didn't have any leftover food after such a large party, but Kurt didn't mind. He and Rachel spent Friday lounging around, watching television and fantasizing about their future fame. He and Blaine texted back and forth once on Saturday afternoon when Blaine had a question about a specific brand of jeans, and Kurt relished the normalcy of their short conversation. Kurt and Rachel spent all day on Sunday in Central Park.
Work on Monday was productive and upbeat; everyone was refreshed after the holiday weekend, and some of Kurt's co-workers were still talking about Thanksgiving in Bushwick. Kurt was in the middle of answering what seemed like a never-ending string of phone calls when his personal cell phone lit up with a call from Rachel.
He had to ignore it, but she called back less than a minute later. And immediately after that. And Kurt got nervous. Maybe it was an emergency.
"Rachel?" he finally managed to answer when she called again two minutes later. "What's wrong?"
"I got a golden ticket!" Rachel screamed in his ear.
"What?" Kurt squeaked.
"Carmen Tibideaux strolled into my dance class today and handed me a golden ticket in front of everybody!" Rachel elaborated. "Oh my god, Kurt, I can't believe this is happening! Where are you? Can I –?"
"No," Kurt said quickly. "No, you can't come here. But oh god. Rachel."
He felt a little teary, but he needed to focus. The phone on his desk rang.
"I've gotta go," he said quickly. "I'll see you tonight!"
He hung up before she could protest.
Kurt and Rachel had an animated conversation via text message that lasted the rest of the day. Rachel explained all the details of her golden ticket and Kurt expressed his excitement. And, when Kurt finally got off work and rushed to the station where Rachel was waiting so they could ride the train home together, both he and Rachel cried tears of joy.
BLAINE
"So, uh... I'm sorry, guys," Finn said to New Directions after school on Monday, "but there's nowhere for us to rehearse."
They were sitting in what had been the choir room. Much to Blaine's surprise, it had been emptied that morning and was now going to be used for something Sue was working on with her Cheerios.
"So... that's it," Sam summarized. "No more glee."
"Until next September," Mr. Schu clarified.
"Sugar already bailed," Artie whined.
"Can I just say what everyone is thinking?" Tina asked. "This is Marley's fault. 'New Rachel' my butt. I knew Rachel Berry. I was friends with Rachel Berry. And you, Marley, are no Rachel Berry."
"Preach," Artie agreed.
Blaine couldn't find the energy to remind them that he was supposed to be the new Rachel. That wasn't the point.
"Guys, guys!" Finn scolded. "Enough. It's not like it's over. The holiday concert is later this week and we're going to be preparing for it all week long. If this is our swan song, let's make it the best one it can be."
"You really expect us to go up in front of the whole school and parade our loser-dom for everyone to see?" Kitty asked.
"Yeah, Kitty does have a point," Artie said. "We agreed to do the show when we thought it would be on the heels of another Sectionals victory. Now, it just feels like a pity party."
"I love to sing and dance as much as anybody," Tina added, "but, without a competition to prep for, it's hard to get motivated."
"I understand that we need a little shift in perspective," Finn allowed, "but let's just enjoy this week and look forward to our big comeback next year."
"That's right," Mr. Schu agreed.
"What about those of us who won't have a 'next year'?" Sam asked.
The silence that fell over the group was heavy and awkward.
"I'm really sorry," Finn said helplessly.
The group dissipated without another word, and Blaine felt sad as he left the choir room. Glee club had ended so abruptly. There was no real resolution. It was just gone.
And the school year wasn't yet halfway over. What was he going to do instead of glee? Being student body president and leader of the Secret Society of Superheroes club kept him busy enough, but those things didn't involve singing or dancing. He wanted to perform as a career, so he needed to find a way to continue performing now that glee club was gone.
"Hey," he said to Tina as they walked down the hallway, "what if we joined the Cheerios?"
"What?" she scoffed.
"I'm serious!" he argued. "With glee club over, don't you want to do something to stay in shape and keep competing as a part of a team?"
"Yeah," Tina agreed. "But the Cheerios?"
"Kurt and Mercedes were Cheerios, right?" Blaine reminded her.
She laughed. "Oh, god," she remembered.
"Let's ask Coach Sylvester, at least," Blaine suggested.
Tina nodded. "Meet you by her office tomorrow morning before school?"
"Perfect," Blaine agreed.
KURT
On Tuesday, Kurt heard from Rachel that someone had mentioned to her that their little sister had received her NYADA letter – an acceptance – and Kurt started to worry about the status of his application. He had read on the NYADA blogs that applications for second semester admission were, generally, sent out over a few weeks, but the fact that someone had gotten their letter and he hadn't made Kurt very uneasy.
He decided to check on the status of his application when he stopped by NYADA to have lunch with Rachel.
"Madame Tibideaux?" Kurt knocked on the doorframe to her office as he walked into the room. "I hope it's alright that I'm dropping by your office... I'm not sure that you, uh, remember me, but –"
"What can I do for you, Mr. Hummel?" Carmen asked without looking up at him.
"Oh," Kurt was pleasantly surprised that she remembered him. "Uh, I applied for the second semester–"
"I received it," Carmen interrupted. "I reviewed it."
"And the accompanying video?" Kurt wondered.
"Of you doing the acoustic version of Wham!'s Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go?" Carmen clarified.
"What'd you think?" Kurt asked hopefully.
"I thought exactly what I thought the first time you auditioned for me last spring," Ms. Tibideaux replied. "Here's a very talented young man who knows how to sell a number."
Kurt felt a spark of hope.
"But," Carmen continued, "who is devoid of complexity and depth."
"What?" Kurt managed, his hope immediately replaced by distress.
"You gave me surface," Carmen explained, "when I was looking for soul. We are training artists here, Mr. Hummel. Performers who are not afraid to show their vulnerability and, yes, even their heart."
"Madame Tibideaux, I– I have all of those things," Kurt argued as respectfully as he could.
"I rarely give anyone a second chance," Carmen said, her voice stern, "and, when I do, it is on my terms. Now, thank you for your continued interest in NYADA, but, as you can see, I'm busy preparing for the Winter Showcase. Good afternoon, Mr. Hummel."
Kurt knew he was dismissed. He turned and walked out of the room, shocked and upset.
Without saying it directly, she had just told him he wasn't getting in.
He went back and forth between embarrassment and anger as he replayed the conversation in his head. He had thought that choosing a slower, simpler song for his video audition would demonstrate his ability to do more than grand, showy numbers. Instead, it seemed to have reinforced Carmen Tibideaux's opinion that he was not worthy of NYADA.
Rachel was outraged as Kurt told her about the brief meeting over lunch.
"She doesn't even know you at all!" Rachel fumed. "You have plenty of depth. Ugh!"
"Well," Kurt said, hating himself, "if it doesn't come across in my performance, then maybe she's right."
"No!" Rachel argued. "Don't say that, Kurt."
He rolled his eyes and felt himself tearing up again.
"Look," Rachel said, reaching across the small table to grab Kurt's hand, "you are not giving up, okay? She didn't say 'no' –"
"Except she basically did," Kurt interjected.
"– and, even if she does," Rachel continued, "you can reapply. Or you can apply to another school. Or you can go audition without any school at all and one day Carmen Tibideaux will be kicking herself when your name is shining above a Broadway theater!"
Kurt shook his head.
"This is good," he lied. "I needed to hear it, you know? I like fashion. So, what's wrong with 'settling' for my second choice if it's still something I love?"
BLAINE
The next morning before school, Blaine and Tina met outside Sue's office to inquire about joining the Cheerios.
"Coach Sylvester?" Blaine said as he led the way into the room. "Can we... are you busy?"
"I'm always busy, Young Burt Reynolds," Sue said, working out on her elliptical machine. "What do you want?"
"Well," Blaine straightened up and smiled at the coach, "we were hoping to join the Cheerios."
"Sit down," Sue instructed.
Blaine grabbed a chair and started to turn it around to face the elliptical machine at the back of the room, but Sue stopped him.
"I don't like people watching me while I work out," she disapproved. "It raises my blood pressure."
So, Blaine and Tina sat down facing Sue's empty desk and listened to her talk from behind them.
"I'm gonna be blunt," Sue said. "Sixty Minutes is doing a piece on me and that Leslie Stahl is going to bring the heat. I could use a handsome, non-flammable gay to articulate how my defeating the glee club once and for all, and absorbing its budget, is actually the best thing that ever happened to him."
Blaine wasn't sure if he should be flattered or offended.
"My squad's looking a little pale these days," Sue added. "Wouldn't hurt to add a dash of yellow number four to my championship cheer batter."
"Um, that's really –" Tina started.
"So!" Sue said, stepping down from her elliptical machine. "I will allow you to join my championship squad. It'll make me look good, it'll keep you two from doing something stupid like starting a knitting club or some kind of non-profit group to promote spontaneous acts of kindness or something equally as disgustingly nice, and, much to my satisfaction, it will really piss off Will Schuester."
Blaine and Tina exchanged a cautious glance.
"Report to the locker room to pick up your uniforms," Sue instructed them, "and be at rehearsal at four o'clock sharp."
They obeyed, and Tina laughed when she came out of the locker room and saw Blaine waiting for her in his new uniform.
"Very nice," she approved.
"You, too," Blaine smiled. "Shall we?"
They walked down the hall together, and Blaine was pleased with their decision. At least they would be able to dance as part of the Cheerios. They could sing in their own time to keep their voices strong.
"Oh, hell no," Artie disapproved as he saw them in their Cheerios uniforms for the first time.
"What happened to you?" Tina asked. Artie was wearing a strange uniform.
"I joined the marching band," Artie explained. "I'm the drum leader. What happened to you?"
"We joined the Cheerios," Blaine explained. "We had to do something. It's our senior year; we wanted to compete. We want to be part of a team."
"And Coach Sylvester just let you?" Artie asked skeptically.
"It was way easier than I thought," Tina admitted.
"I get what you're saying," Artie admitted. "It's weird to suddenly feel like you're not a part of anything."
"That's why we joined the basketball team," Ryder said as he and Jake arrived, dressed in basketball team uniforms.
"Oh, no," Jake corrected, "that's why you joined the basketball team. I joined the basketball team because I'm good at basketball."
There was a loud crashing noise from behind Jake and Ryder, and the group looked that direction to see Unique trying to roller skate down the hallway.
"Uh..." Tina voiced everyone's confusion.
"I joined the McKinley floor hockey team," Unique explained as Jake and Ryder helped her over. "If I slip a wig under the face mask, nobody will be the wiser. Hallelujah!"
"Who knew this school had so many clubs?" Tina realized.
"I joined the interfaith paintball league," Joe added as he wandered up to the group. "Where Christians, Jews, and Muslims can shoot at each other safely."
"Well, it looks like we've all sort of moved on," Blaine said as he looked around at the group. "Which just leaves one question. When are we going to tell Finn?"
"I guess sooner rather than later might be best," Artie said guiltily.
"I think he booked the auditorium for glee this afternoon," Tina remembered. "So... I guess we tell him then?"
The news did not go over well with Finn.
"I can't believe it's been like, what, two days?" he scolded after the group informed him of all of their new activities. "And you've all gone in completely separate and totally insane directions."
"We lost Sectionals," Tina reminded him. "Our season is over. You can't be upset that we've moved on. It's the healthy thing to do."
"Is it, really?" Finn argued. "Is it the healthy thing to do to take orders from Sue Sylvester for the rest of the school year?"
Blaine wished that he didn't feel so guilty. It did make sense to join other groups if glee club no longer existed. But none of them had wanted glee club to end.
"And, Artie, man," Finn continued, "you basically dragged me out of that tire shop, telling me that this club was part of my destiny somehow! What did you even join? Your costume is ridiculous! It looks like a peacock died on your head."
"It's called a plume," Artie informed him.
"Whatever!" Finn said. "Okay, look, I'm not gonna waste all six minutes I was able to book the auditorium for yelling at you guys."
"Six minutes?" Joe questioned.
"Yeah," Finn confirmed. "Empress Sylvester swooped in and carved the reservation hours into tenths. So, the only other time I was able to get was 9:54 Friday night. And I'll be here, ready to rehearse, and I hope you will, too. Because, if you don't, I think you're going to regret missing that opportunity for the rest of your lives."
"I'll definitely be here," Marley said.
"Yeah, well, we'd all be here if you hadn't face planted at Sectionals," Tina snapped.
"Tina," Finn said sternly, "enough."
Tina turned and walked off the stage, and the rest of the group slowly followed until Finn, Marley, and Blaine were the only three left.
Blaine was conflicted. He wanted to stick with New Directions. But, with the others unwilling to be part of the club, there wasn't really a New Directions to be part of.
He was careful not to make eye contact with Finn or Marley as he turned and walked away.
KURT
Kurt spent most of Thursday and Friday trying to keep Rachel calm about the rapidly-approaching Winter Showcase. One second she would be extremely confident, and the next she would be a weepy mess of nerves. By Friday evening, when Kurt was helping Rachel into her gown in one of NYADA's music rooms, she seemed to have reached an equilibrium. She was surprisingly calm.
"You look gorgeous," Kurt approved as Rachel spun around, showing off her glittery dress. "You should win on style alone."
"Thank you, Kurt," she smiled, skipping over to kiss his cheek. "And thanks for coming."
Kurt heard the "even though it seems unlikely that you're going to get into NYADA" that went unsaid.
They walked together to the door to the Round Room where they Showcase was about to start.
"I..." Rachel hesitated as Kurt reached for the door. He paused to look at her.
"I need a minute alone," she requested.
Kurt nodded and slipped into the room without her. He found a seat where he could save both Rachel and Brody a chair beside him and waited for the competition to begin.
"Welcome to the New York Academy of Dramatic Art's annual Winter Showcase," Carmen Tibideaux addressed the group. "While this is a competition, it is also a celebration. Each year, our faculty chooses ten students who exemplify the best of what we are trying to achieve."
As she introduced the first performer – a dancer – Kurt wondered if Rachel would come into the room soon. He knew she was probably nervous, but he really, really didn't want her to be out in the hallway when her name was called.
She didn't come between the first and second performers. Or between the second and third. When the fourth performer finished, Kurt jumped out of his seat and ran out of the room to find her. It was her turn next.
"Hey!" he called to Rachel, who was standing with Brody on the stairs outside the Round Room, "As sympathetic as I am to this particular act of the rom-com... Rachel, you're up!"
Rachel and Brody rushed up the stairs and followed Kurt into the room just in time.
"Our next performer is from the freshman class," Carmen Tibideaux announced. "Please welcome Miss Rachel Berry."
Kurt and Brody rushed to their seats as Rachel walked to the front of the room.
"Hi, I'm Rachel Berry," Rachel introduced herself, "and I'm just going to sing for you."
Kurt had heard Rachel sing Being Good Isn't Good Enough many times – especially over the past week as she rehearsed it for this performance – but never quite like she sang it for the Winter Showcase audience. She was outstanding.
The crowd agreed; she received a standing ovation. "Encore!" Brody shouted.
Someone else echoed the sentiment, and Rachel glanced at Carmen Tibideaux before rushing over to ask the band if they knew the second song she wanted to sing.
"This is my favorite holiday song that I'd like to sing for you today," Rachel said as she returned to the center of the room.
She sang O Holy Night, and it was just as brilliant as her first song. Kurt was so proud of her as he watched her sing. She belonged here.
The crowd erupted in cheers again as soon as the song ended, and Kurt jumped to his feet to applaud his friend. Rachel rushed over and embraced Kurt and then Brody.
"Rachel," Carmen Tibideaux said as she walked to the center of the room, "that was wonderful. No, it was superb."
Kurt was too emotional about how amazing Rachel had sounded to feel uncomfortable when Carmen's gaze fell on him a few times.
"And now, we're going to have a brief intermission," she explained. "And, when we come back, if he thinks he's ready, we'll have a performance from Mr. Hummel."
Kurt felt a rush of surprise and fear that he hadn't felt since the moment he had been unexpectedly crowned prom queen at his junior prom. There was a sudden hum in the room as everyone looked around, trying to see who "Mr. Hummel" was, and Kurt felt a familiar instinct to get away.
He fled the room, out the door to the staircase that led to the lobby. He could hear Rachel rushing after him, trying not to call attention to them as she called his name. He could barely understand what she was saying.
"Carmen Tibideaux is an insane person!" Kurt cried as he reached the bottom of the stairs. "Asking me to sing in front of the entire NYADA faculty? And all those theatrical luminaries? Why would she do that?"
"She's giving you a second chance at your audition!" Rachel said. "She just wants to see how you perform under pressure!"
"I'm gonna fail, that's what's going to happen!" Kurt wailed.
He wondered if she had planned this. Planned to put him on the spot to teach him a lesson after his visit to her office.
He wanted Blaine.
"I... I have nothing prepared," he said desperately.
"Oh my god," Rachel scolded. "You have an entire repertoire!"
"I guess I could do... Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again?" Kurt considered.
"No Phantom," Rachel disagreed. "Not in front of this crowd."
"With One Look?" Kurt suggested.
"Sunset Boulevard?" Rachel said skeptically. "Same thing."
"Being Alive?" Kurt said, trying not to start crying as he thought about singing anything in front of so many important people without any time to rehearse.
"Yes," Rachel gasped. "Oh my god, I just got chills. That's perfect!"
"There's only one problem," Kurt realized. "I think that's a song that Carmen hates. And I can't do it without a costume or props!"
"You don't need any of that stuff!" Rachel scolded.
"Yes, I do," Kurt resisted. "You know that I'm at my best when I have my careful assortment of bells and whistles. My steel scaffolding or my gold lamé pants."
"Kurt," Rachel said, walking over to place a calming hand on his shoulder, "you said it yourself. That is exactly what Carmen does not want to see."
He knew she was right, but he felt agonizingly alone as he considered that he was going to have to stand still in the middle of the room and just sing.
"You know when you were your absolute best?" Rachel remembered as she sat down on a bench by the wall of windows. "My favorite performance ever? When you sang I Want To Hold Your Hand in the choir room. It was so, just, simple and emotional and, I don't know, I get chills every time I think about it. Do you remember that?"
"Of course I do," Kurt told her. "But things were different. My dad was in the hospital. I dedicated it to him. Who am I supposed to dedicate this to? Carmen?"
"To yourself," Rachel said as Kurt's mind suggested Blaine.
Kurt took a deep breath as the lights in the lobby flickered to let them know it was time to return to the Round Room.
"Oh god," he gasped.
"No," Rachel said sternly, jumping to her feet and grabbing his hand. "No panicking. You can do this, Kurt."
Kurt squeezed her hand.
"You're going to nail this and I'm going to write an entire chapter about this epic night in my memoir," Rachel said seriously.
Kurt couldn't stop the giggle that bubbled up from somewhere deep inside him.
"See?" Rachel beamed. "You know you can do this. This is your moment. Come on!"
She led the way up the stairs. When they reached the door to the Round Room, Rachel stopped and stretched up on her toes to kiss Kurt's cheek.
"Break a leg," she whispered before disappearing through the door to find her seat.
Kurt straightened his jacket, took a deep breath, and opened the door. A student was waiting for him; she asked him to wait for a moment while Carmen introduced him. From where they were standing, Kurt could only hear what was going on in the main room.
"Alright, ladies and gentlemen," Carmen Tibideaux addressed the audience, "we will now have a special guest performance from Mr. Kurt Hummel."
Kurt walked from the door to the center of the room, acutely aware that every pair of eyes in the room was trained on him. He tried not to panic. He could panic later. He had to focus.
"Hi, um, I'm Kurt Hummel," Kurt said to the audience as he reached the center of the room, "and I'll be auditioning for the role of... NYADA student."
There were so many important faces staring back at him from the crowd. Carmen Tibideaux, the entire faculty of NYADA, and multiple benefactors and former students who were very influential in the world of the dramatic arts. Kurt wished that he was up on a stage instead of standing right in front of them. This felt so intimate.
Like the choir room.
"Tonight, I'm going to perform a song that I've loved since I was six," Kurt explained. "But, um, I think, for the first time in my life, I finally understand what it means."
He glanced back at the band and the music began. Kurt tried to relax. This was just like glee club. An opportunity to express his feelings through song. He could do this.
Someone to hold you too close
Someone to hurt you too deep
Someone to sit in your chair
To ruin your sleep
He focused on just singing as he began. Making sure that he sounded his best. But, as he thought about the lyrics as if he had never heard them before, he started to think about Blaine.
Someone to crowd you with love
Someone to force you to care
Someone to make you come through
Who'll always be there
As frightened as you of being alive
Being alive
It felt strange to take this step toward NYADA without Blaine by his side. Blaine had always been there, ready with an encouraging word if Kurt ever doubted himself. Even when Blaine had been bedridden, terrified of his upcoming surgery, he had made sure to celebrate Kurt's achievement of being a NYADA finalist. And Blaine had been there to catch Kurt when his NYADA dreams had been shattered by a rejection letter at the end of the school year.
Somebody hold me too close
Somebody hurt me too deep
Somebody sit in my chair
And ruin my sleep
And make me aware of being alive
Make me alive
Kurt had been alone before he found Blaine. Used to doing things alone. Dealing with things alone. It had been hard, sometimes, but it had also seemed normal. It was just the way things had always been. But now, being alone after being together with Blaine for so long felt empty. Like nothing mattered quite as much because Blaine wasn't around.
Make me confused
Mock me with grace
Let me be used
Vary my days
But alone is alone
Not alive
He felt tears pooling in his eyes as he connected to the lyrics in a way he never had before and sang out his emotions to finish the song.
Somebody crowd me with love
Somebody force me to care
Somebody let me come through
I'll always be there
As frightened as you to help us survive
Being alive
Being alive
Being alive
He closed his eyes as he sang out the last note and knew that he had done it. He had nailed his second chance.
Rachel was crying. Carmen Tibideaux was on her feet, applauding.
Kurt couldn't hold back a few tears as everyone cheered for him. It felt like he was living in a fantasy. A fantasy in which Blaine had just helped him advance as an artist without even knowing it.
"Thank you, Mr. Hummel," Carmen Tibideaux said as she walked toward him. Kurt quickly wiped the tears off his cheeks and offered a little bow to the audience before rushing into Rachel's arms.
"That was unbelievable!" she gushed in his ear as they embraced. "You're amazing."
"Bravo," Brody applauded, offering his hand as Kurt sat down. Kurt reached across Rachel and shook Brody's hand, so full of adrenaline that he was trembling uncontrollably. As he settled into his chair, Rachel grabbed his hand. He smiled at her, remembering the night when they had gone to Dayton to the NYADA mixer and had cried in the car because they felt so ill prepared. It felt like a different lifetime.
Five more students performed, and then it was time to announce the winner. All ten NYADA students who had performed left the room and each faculty member wrote his or her top choice on a piece of paper. As someone tallied the votes, Kurt felt a tap on his shoulder.
He twisted around in his chair and found a young man with blonde hair sitting two rows behind, reaching over an empty chair to grab Kurt's attention.
"Spectacular performance," he said kindly. "You'd have my vote."
Kurt felt lightheaded and overwhelmed. "Thank you so much," he stammered.
"Okay!" Carmen Tibideaux announced, drawing everyone's attention to the front of the room. "Momentarily, the student who we, the faculty, feel has best represented NYADA tonight - the Winter Showcase winner - will return to the room. I ask that you give them a warm welcome and offer your congratulations."
She took her seat, and Kurt had to concentrate on not bouncing in his chair with anticipation. It could be Rachel. She had been the only student asked to perform an encore.
Rachel, beaming her brightest smile, walked into the room, and Kurt leaped to his feel and roared his approval with the rest of the crowd.
"Thank you," Rachel said as the applause quieted. "Thank you so much. Madame Tibideaux. Everyone."
The room grew silent as tears filled Rachel's eyes.
"It was such a privilege to sing for all of you tonight," she said. "It's such a privilege to be here... in this city, at this school, learning from the best in the world. And," she looked at Kurt, "I'd like to thank my best friend, Kurt, for always believing in me and for adding his beautiful voice to tonight's celebration."
The room applauded, and Kurt blew Rachel a kiss. She laughed.
"Thank you," she said again as Carmen Tibideaux walked over to stand beside her.
"Miss Rachel Berry, everyone," Carmen smiled, giving the audience one more chance to cheer for Rachel.
And then it was over. By the time Kurt and Rachel finished shaking people's hands and mingling with the crowd, it was almost midnight. But Kurt had to call his father.
"I'll be outside," he said to Rachel as they reached the bottom of the staircase. "My dad is not going to believe this!"
Rachel nodded, and Kurt saw her pulling her phone out of her jacket pocket as he pushed the door open and stepped out into the cold nighttime air.
"Hello?" Burt answered, obviously newly awake. "Kurt? You okay?"
"I'm better than okay!" Kurt whined happily. "I got to perform at the Showcase! And Rachel won!"
It took a few minutes for Kurt to properly explain what had happened and for Burt to accidentally wake Carole up with because he was so excited. Once she was awake, Burt handed the phone to her and Kurt had to re-tell the whole story.
"God, Kurt," Burt said when he got the phone back from Carole. "Look at this life you're living. I'm so proud of you."
"Thanks, Dad," Kurt smiled. "I miss you."
"I miss you, too," his father said. "You get home safe tonight, okay?"
"I will," Kurt agreed. "Goodnight, Dad."
"Congratulations, Kurt," Burt said. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight, sweetheart!" Carole called just before Burt hung up.
Kurt hurried back inside, happy to escape the cold. Rachel was waiting for him, and they took a taxi home since it was so late. Kurt stared at his phone in his lap as Rachel texted nonstop with someone.
Rachel won NYADA's Winter Showcase! he texted Blaine.
Blaine didn't reply in the few minutes it took Kurt to decide how to tell Blaine about his performance, so Kurt assumed that he was sleeping.
And I got to sing, too! he sent. A surprise in-person audition. Talk about the adrenaline rush of my life! I sang Being Alive. It went really well, thank god.
He didn't add: I thought about you the whole time. How you have been responsible for the greatest joy and the greatest pain of my adult life. I wish you had been there.
BLAINE
The next morning, Blaine woke up to find Kurt's text messages from the night before waiting for him. He jumped out of bed and ran to his computer to see if he could find more details about the Showcase without having to overwhelm Kurt with questions. Blaine was so excited about their rekindled friendship, but he was trying his best to let Kurt decide how often they communicated.
Rachel had posted a photo of her with Kurt and Brody on Facebook. Blaine couldn't tell if it had been taken before or after the Showcase, but all three looked happy.
He also found an article that had just been posted to NYADA's student-run news site thirty minutes earlier. It outlined the entire night – what everyone sang, in which order, and the atmosphere in the room during each performance – and included a glowing review of both Rachel's and Kurt's performances. The author called Kurt's performance a "delightful surprise" and expressed hope that Kurt would be accepted into NYADA.
Blaine leaned back in his desk chair and wished that he had been there. He knew that, even if he had been in New York, he may not have been allowed to attend the showcase, but it hurt to realize that he had missed Kurt's audition. Kurt's surprise, in-person audition that, Blaine thought, had probably just won him a spot at the prestigious school.
Oh my god, Kurt, he replied to Kurt's messages from the night before, congratulations! I'm sure you nailed it. You're amazing. I love you.
BLAINE
Over the weekend, Blaine – and the rest of New Directions – received an email from Finn. About why they should still believe in glee club even though the competition season was over. It was the push Blaine and the rest of the students in glee club needed to decide to come back together; none of them had wanted to leave in the first place. They met in the courtyard on Monday afternoon, not caring about the cold, snowy day as they sang together again. It felt great. Blaine was glad that Finn had pressed the issue.
"Hey," he grabbed Finn's arm as the short rehearsal ended and everyone went their separate ways to escape the cold. "Thanks for this, man."
Finn smiled. "I'm glad it worked!" he confessed as they walked toward the parking lot together. "Rachel called me the other night and... she's really an inspiration, you know? Do you, uh, have you...?"
"We're talking again," Blaine understood the question. He tried not to smile too widely as he said the words. "Text messages, mostly."
"That's awesome," Finn approved.
"How's Rachel?" Blaine asked. He had texted her to express his congratulations after the Winter Showcase and had received a Thank you, Blaine! with a string of happy emoticons in return, but Blaine and Rachel weren't in contact much.
"I dunno," Finn admitted. "She sounded good. Really confident in a calm sort of way. But we don't talk much."
"Right," Blaine realized. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," Finn clasped a hand on Blaine's shoulder as they reached Blaine's car.
Finn walked away, and Blaine went home feeling content and hopeful about the future. He was still in New Directions. He and Kurt were talking again. Kurt was probably going to get into NYADA. Things would be okay, eventually.
KURT
When Kurt got home from work on Monday evening, he was exhausted. Somehow, three of Vogue dot com's articles had been deleted less than twenty four hours before they were set to be published to the website, so Kurt and his co-workers had spent an agonizingly long thirteen hour day frantically trying to rewrite and reformat each of the pieces to Vogue dot com's high standards. They were at work so late that Kurt had missed the final train to Bushwick and had to pay for a cab to get home.
He was irritated and tired as he walked into his building, so he yanked the mail out of his and Rachel's mailbox and trudged up the stairs into their apartment to collapse on the couch. He tossed the mail on the kitchen table on the way.
Rachel wasn't home yet. She had texted him a few hours earlier to say that she was going out to dinner with Brody and some of their NYADA classmates, so Kurt knew she wouldn't be home until really late.
After an unknown amount of time spent trying not to fall asleep on the couch, Kurt got up, made himself a snack, and sat down to watch mindless television as he ate. After he washed his dishes, he noticed the pile of mail on the table and grabbed the bunch of paper to see if there was anything interesting in the stack.
Nestled in amongst a few pieces of junk mail and their water bill, there was a letter for Kurt. From NYADA.
Heart pounding, Kurt carefully opened the envelope and pulled out the single sheet of paper inside. He stared at it in his hand, folded so he couldn't see its contents, and knew that this moment was going to change his life. If the letter said he was in, he would go to NYADA and get a chance at pursuing Broadway. If the letter said "we're sorry", he would have to let go of his Broadway dreams.
He unfolded the letter and started at the very top of the page, not allowing his eyes to skip down as he read every word.
NYADA's address. The date.
Dear Mr. Hummel.
"Due to your exemplary application and audition, we are pleased to offer you a spot in the New York Academy of Dramatic Arts' musical theater program..."
He was in.
Tears filled Kurt's eyes as he read the rest of the letter. Details about how to confirm his admittance and a short, handwritten note at the bottom from Carmen Tibideaux.
Congratulations, Mr. Hummel. Welcome to NYADA!
Kurt stood, frozen in place, and read the letter a second time. It was real. Excitement and nervousness and gratitude filled him up, and he barely heard the sound of the apartment door opening as Rachel returned home from her night out. He only noticed her because the movement of the door and Rachel's body as she stepped into the apartment caught his attention. He lifted his head to look at her as she walked into the room.
"Oh my god," she gasped as she saw him, "what happened?"
"I got my NYADA letter," Kurt explained, motioning numbly at the paper in his hand. "I got in."
"You got in!" Rachel squealed, clutching her hands to her chest in delight before running to him. "Oh my god!"
Kurt caught her in a tight hug and they cried and laughed as they both processed what this meant for Kurt.
"I did it," Kurt laughed shakily as Rachel released him. He was still clutching the letter in one hand. "I did it."
"You did it!" Rachel shouted joyfully, gently taking the paper from him so she could read it. "Oh, Kurt..."
They sat down together on the couch, and Kurt felt overwhelmed. To his relief, Rachel seemed to understand and didn't start rattling off a stream of advice or asking questions. She just held his hand and shared his excitement and got up to get him a glass of water when he realized that his mouth was painfully dry.
"Congratulations, Kurt," Rachel smiled as she handed him the water.
"Thanks," Kurt managed.
They both laughed, and Rachel leaned over to hug him again.
"I'm gonna go have a shower!" Rachel said brightly, and Kurt looked up as her just in time to catch her meaningful glance at his phone on the couch beside him.
Kurt stared at the phone, trying to decide who to call. He wanted to call the entire world all at once and scream down the phone at them. He would be a NYADA student in January. As the bathroom door closed behind Rachel and Kurt found himself alone, his stomach felt as if it were attempting to tie itself in knots. He found Blaine's name in his contacts list and initiated the call.
He lifted the phone to his ear, and, as he listened to the ringing, he noticed the time.
It was almost one o'clock in the morning.
Kurt yanked the phone away from his ear to hang up, but he was too late. Blaine's voice, soft and thick from being woken up, answered the call.
"Hello?"
Kurt rolled his eyes at himself for not thinking about the time and returned the phone to his ear.
"Hey," Kurt said, trying to sound remorseful but unable to contain his excitement. "I'm sorry I woke you up."
"I love when you wake me up," Blaine said, his voice light and content.
Kurt laughed. "You're not awake."
"I am," Blaine pouted. Kurt heard the bed creak and assumed that Blaine was sitting up.
"Okay," Kurt said, bouncing his knees to release some of the hysterical energy he could feel building up inside him. "I am sorry it's so late, but I... I couldn't wait."
Blaine waited for him to continue.
"I got into NYADA," Kurt blurted in a voice wobbly with emotion. It was not the screeching announcement he had planned to make. He had wanted to stretch it out and tease Blaine along until he could finally shout the news through the phone to Ohio. But, instead, Kurt felt tears in his eyes – a mixture of happy tears and sad tears – and his voice came out soft and emotional instead of triumphant.
Blaine made a noise that sounded like he wanted to say Kurt's name and squeak with excitement at the same time. Kurt closed his eyes, imagining Blaine's huge smile. It made him miss Blaine more than ever.
"You– Kurt, of course you did," Blaine choked out, and Kurt could tell he was crying, too. "Congratulations!"
"I start in January," Kurt whispered excitedly. "I can't believe this is real."
"I can," Blaine argued. "There's no one else in the world like you, Kurt. And you've worked so hard and been so–" Blaine's voice strangled off and Kurt wished that things were normal between them. Wished that he could teleport to Ohio so they could wrap their arms around each other and laugh and cry and enjoy the good news together.
"– so brave," Blaine finished. "I'm so proud of you... I love you."
"I love you, too," Kurt smiled, wiping the tears off his cheeks with his free hand. "Thank you for being so excited for me."
"My best friend just got into the school of his dreams," Blaine teased. "Of course I'm excited! What did your dad say?"
"I haven't called him yet," Kurt admitted.
There was silence on the other end of the call, and Kurt realized that maybe this was leading Blaine on too much. He hadn't even called his father before he called Blaine. Yes, it was ridiculously early in the morning, but he could have waited until daylight before calling anyone. He was so wrapped up in his excitement that he had dialed the one person he always wanted to talk to first.
But they weren't together anymore. And, as much as Kurt knew that Blaine was overwhelmingly grateful for the chance to be Kurt's friend again, Kurt knew that Blaine wanted to be more than friends. Blaine was being extremely cautious not to push the issue, but Kurt could feel Blaine hanging on his every word. Was it fair to Blaine to let him get his hopes up when Kurt wasn't sure yet if he would ever be able to open his heart to Blaine again?
"I mean... it's really late," Kurt added lamely. "So, you know, he's sleeping."
"Yeah," Blaine said softly.
Kurt sighed and twisted around on the couch so that he could lie flat on his back as silence fell awkwardly between them.
"I'm glad you called," Blaine admitted.
"Me too," Kurt agreed. "I don't... I don't want things to be weird."
"It's okay," Blaine tried to reassure him, but the touch of self-loathing in Blaine's voice made Kurt's heart ache. It wasn't okay – not overall – and Kurt wasn't sure if it would ever be truly okay again.
As silence hung between them, Kurt was suddenly aware that Rachel was singing in the shower.
"...Near, far, wherever you are. I believe that the heart does go on. Once more you open door and you're here in my heart and my heart will go on and on..."
A tiny laugh bubbled out of Kurt before he could stop it, and he heard Blaine's questioning noise in his ear.
"Rachel oh-so-discreetly went to have a shower so I could call you," Kurt explained. "And now she's singing so I know she's not somehow trying to listen in on our conversation."
"Unless she has the room bugged," Blaine deadpanned.
They both laughed, and the awkwardness faded away as their amusement transitioned to softer giggles.
"You're going to NYADA," Blaine breathed as they calmed down. "You're going to NYADA, Kurt."
"I'm a little worried this might be an elaborate dream," Kurt confessed.
"It's not a dream," Blaine reassured him.
This time the silence between them was comfortable, but Kurt felt tears returning to his eyes.
"Thanks for taking my call so late at night," he said quietly.
"I will always pick up when you call, Kurt," Blaine said seriously.
"I'm glad we're talking again," Kurt admitted.
"Me too," Blaine agreed. "Congratulations. You deserve this."
"Thanks," Kurt said. "I'll see you soon, okay? I need to finalize my Christmas plans – I think I waited longer than I should have to look at flights – but I want to see you as soon as I'm home."
"Okay," Blaine whispered. "I love you."
"Love you," Kurt agreed. "Goodnight."
KURT GOT INTO NYADA! HALLELUJAH. And he's talking to Blaine again! Things are looking up.
Do you ever just wonder... where are everyone's parents? The whole situation with New Directions not having anywhere to rehearse is pretty ridiculous. Send Burt in there to rage at Figgins or something. And what happened to the monetary prize they got for winning Nationals last year? Wouldn't that cover at least a year's worth of "renting" the choir room? I know, it's Glee. Don't think so hard. It was clearly an excuse to get Blaine into a Cheerio uniform, so fine.
Up next... 4x10: Glee, Actually!