"We're doing Twelfth Night?" one of the actors asked the following afternoon when the entire acting troop had gathered in the grand hall.
"Yes," Ichigan replied with a distracted wave. "And today is start of auditions."
"Auditions?" someone else asked, seeming confused. "Don't you know us all well enough by now?"
"It was my idea," Shion said, speaking up from his seat at the foot of the stage. "I'm unfamiliar with you all and this will give me a chance to understand you better now that I'm in charge of casting."
"Besides, you could all do with a little bit of competition," Ichigan added. "You're all lazy as cows, and since you arrived at the palace your egos have grown."
There was a half laughing grumble from the crew.
"Well, shall we get on with it?" Ichigan asked. "Your Grace, would you care to explain?"
Shion cleared his throat and stood up.
"Everyone will be reading twice," Shion began. "Once from a selected monologue everyone will share, and once from a scene of your choosing. You have the rest of the afternoon to choose a scene and rehearse. This evening before dinner we will begin the first round of auditioning."
"What is the monologue going to be?" A younger boy asked, Shion couldn't help but smile.
"It's act five, scene one, line 117 said by Duke Orsino."
"'Why should I not, had I the heart to do it," said a voice. Shion looked up to see Nezumi— his script closed on his lap— looking at him with mischievous eyes. "'kill what I love?— a savage jealousy that sometimes savors nobly.'"
Shion struggled to keep his smooth expression. "That's correct," Shion made a show of tilting his head as if thinking. "What was it again…?"
"Eve," Nezumi replied without faltering. His lips curving up, amused.
Shion nodded as if to say, Oh that's right, "You already have it memorized, Eve?"
"I like twelfth night," Nezumi responded, shifting back in his chair and crossing one leg over the other. "A woman pretending to be a man isn't so far off from me playing a woman every night."
This comment got a few whistles.
"Who else could do it but you, Eve?"
"Yeah, look at that pretty face of yours!"
"I like you better in a dress,"
A wave of laughter.
Nezumi turned sharply to look at them, and the room fell silent again.
Shion raised his eyebrows. "I see. Well…" he had to clear his throat. "We will take that into consideration. Now everyone, please begin your rehearsal."
The crew began standing up and dispersing. Forming pairs or groups to practice with like they did it everyday and didn't have to think about it. Shion watched and noticed Nezumi on his own moving towards the doors.
Shion walked after him "Rehearsal is mandatory," He called out. The two of them were just outside the doors as Nezumi glanced back at him, clearly annoyed.
"I work better with quiet," said Nezumi, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jacket and his script tucked under his arm. "I'm just going into the hall."
"All by your self?" Shion questioned, raising his eyebrows. "How do you know if your any good if you practice by yourself?"
Nezumi frowned at this, "Do you have complaints from my last performance?"
Shion flushed and looked away. He didn't, of course. Nezumi had been heartbreaking and enchanting, but Shion didn't feel like voicing that aloud.
"If you need a partner—,"
"I don't," said Nezumi and he moved to turn back around.
Shion stepped forward. For a moment Nezumi tensed as if preparing for something violent, but Shion simply snatched the script out from under his arm. The dark haired boy seemed to stop in surprise.
"What scene do you want to read from?" Shion asked, flipping the script open and scanning the pages.
"What are you doing?" Nezumi demanded, furious. "Give that back or I'll take it and hurt you."
"You don't need it do you?" Shion asked, raising a challenging eyebrow. Nezumi balked in surprise, making a frustrated noise.
"You're a nuisance."
"What scene?" Shion repeated without looking up.
Nezumi let out a breath.
"Act two scene four," Nezumi relented after a long pause of seeming to battle with himself. "If you insist on 'helping' then just read the duke's lines."
"You're reading for Viola then," Shion smiled.
Nezumi rolled his eyes, "Just read," He snapped.
Shion almost smiled at how worked up Nezumi was. He was usually someone much more collected and much more smug.
"Should I start at the beginning?"
"Start with the line before mine."
Shion scanned the page until he found what he was looking for. He cleared his throat.
"Come hither boy; if ever thou shalt love, in the sweet pangs of it remember me. For such as I am all true lovers are, unstaid and skittish in all motions else, save in the constant image of the creature beloved. How dost thou like this tune?"
Shion kept his eyes on the page to follow Nezumi's lines but Nezumi didn't respond right away. Shion waited a moment before finally looking up to inspect his face, and found an almost appalled expression.
"That was…" Nezumi seemed to search for the word, "almost impressively flat."
Shion blinked, "I was just reading it…"
"Most people even read with more inflection." Nezumi chuckled. "Here I thought all the interest in theatre was because you were trying to learn to act. That's what I suggested, but clearly you haven't been learning."
Shion's cheeks flamed, "What was so wrong about it?"
"Everything,"
Shion's flush darkened.
The dark haired shook his head, "I don't know if I can listen to you butcher this."
Shion ducked his head, "Well why don't you teach me if it bothers you so much"
Nezumi looked at him. "What?"
Shion straighten his shoulders. "I'm asking you to teach me."
Nezumi furrowed his eyebrows, "correct me if I'm wrong, but five seconds ago, weren't you questioning if I can even act?"
Shion shook his head, "I wasn't saying that, I think you're amazing."
Nezumi seemed to have some kind of reaction to that, making his muscles tense up as he rubbed his neck.
"I thought I told you we're supposed to be professional only from now on."
It was Shion's turn to tense now.
"Acting is your profession. I'll hire you."
This answer seemed to exhaust Nezumi as his shoulders slumped.
For a moment Shion thought he might just give in. But then the dark boy's bright steel eyes rose to meet his gaze.
"Why?"
Shion eyebrows rose.
Why?
The question brought three images to Shion's mind.
The first was the look on Rikiga's face the previous morning when he spoke about Shion becoming a leader. The half doubtful frown the made deep creases around the kings mouth.
The second was Nezumi, still a dark haired child wrapped in bandages. He was looking at him and saying "Did you ever think that believing in those things is the exact reason you should be king?"
The last was just a day ago, the sight of Nezumi's back as he walked away from him down the hall.
It means things are different.
Shion looked at the ground. "Do you remember the idea you had about convincing Rikiga? When we were kids?"
Nezumi's eyebrows rose. "That's what this is about?"
Shion hesitated, staring into Nezumi's eyes before nodding.
Nezumi held Shion's gaze another couple moments, and then sighed.
"If it's so important to you," he answered finally with a heavy breath, "Fine."
Shion perked up. "Really?"
Nezumi shot him a look.
Shion blushed and looked away. "Do you want to continue with your scene then?"
Nezumi ran a hand over his hair.
"I'm tempted to say no. This scene doesn't deserve what you're about to put it through."
Shion flinched at that, "Nezumi!"
They ended up spending most of the afternoon practicing for Nezumi's audition.
Nezumi insisted he didn't need the practice. Shion said he didn't want to get in the way of Nezumi's work. In the end they compromised by Nezumi smacking Shion on the knuckles everytime he read Nezumi's cue line in a flat voice.
Shion was certain he would have the bruises for days.
Shion didn't mind it though. Nezumi getting frustrated and teasing him was more fun than he'd had with the dark haired boy since his birthday.
When auditions did come around though, Nezumi said something that surprised Shion.
"You can't do the audition with me," Nezumi said, stopping Shion from walking in out of the hallway.
"What?" Shion asked, "Won't it be difficult to do on your own?"
Nezumi frowned, "Well I'm not going to let the other actors think I'm kissing up to you for the part. Actors are a jealous breed to start with. That certainly doesn't get better if they think someone's getting special favors."
Shion raised his eyebrows. "They'd think that?"
Nezumi rolled his eyes, "Of course they would. Which brings me to another thing. Keep your mouth shut about your acting lessons. I'll decide when and where we do them, and you can wait until I tell you."
Shion blinked, "Why on earth would they be jealous of you teaching me?"
Nezumi looked at Shion with annoyed dubious eyes, "They wouldn't. It's just that they'll never believe that's what's going on."
Shion raised his eyebrows, "What do you mean? What would they think?"
At first Nezumi's eyes went flat. Shion thought he might be about to smack him again. Then the actor reached out and grabbed him by the collar and yanked him until his ear was inches from Nezumi's mouth.
"They'd think I was seducing you, moron." Nezumi said, and his breath blew against Shion's skin making him have to fight off a shiver.
Shion flushed red as Nezumi released him and he stumbled away. By the time he gathered his wits and looked back, Nezumi was already walking inside the grand hall.
Shion had a hard time paying attention during auditions. He couldn't get what Nezumi said out of his mind. He found himself wondering if it was that kind of thing that had made Nezumi want to keep his distance from Shion in the first place.
He didn't have time to think about it, though. He was trying to focus. And lucky for Shion, Nezumi was one of the first few auditions, and it pulled Shion's attention back to the stage.
At first Shion worried about what Nezumi would do up there all by himself. But then he noticed one of the other actors was following him. Apparently he had prepared the same scene.
"…how does thou like this tune?" the other actor was saying when Shion gathered himself enough to pay attention.
"It gives a very echo to the seas where love is throned."
"Thou dost speak masterly: my life upon't, young though thou art, thine eye hath stay'd upon some favour that it loves: hath it not, boy?"
Nezumi looked embarrassed, and gazed at the other actor. The look made a jolt run through Shion.
He'd never thought he'd see a look like that on Nezumi's face. A sort of vulnerable affection.
Shion tried to remind himself that it was acting, but his heart had sped in his chest.
"A little, by your favour," said Nezumi
"What kind of a woman is it?"
Nezumi smiled, and for the briefest moment, Shion thought his eyes shifted to look at him, but it was over before he could be sure.
"Of your complexion,"
"She is not worth thee, then," the other actor said with a pleasing humor, "What years, i' faith?"
"About your years, my lord."
"Too old by heaven: let still the woman take an elder than herself: so wears she to him, so sways she level in her husband's heart: for, boy, however we do praise ourselves, our fancies are more giddy and infirm, more longing, wavering, sooner lost and worn, than women's are."
Shion found himself taken a back at this. The other actor spoke so well, it gave the line a whole new meaning to him.
"I think it well my lord," Nezumi replied.
"Then let thy love be younger than thyself, or thy affection cannot hold the bent; for woman are as roses, whose fair flower being once display'd, doth fall that very hour."
Nezumi's expression made Shion suck in a breath.
"And so they are: alas, that they are so; to die even when they to perfection grow!"
As the audition finished there was clapping. Shion had to contain himself to look smoothed face, as not to show favor to any auditions over the others. Still, his pulse was a little high.
Nezumi and his partner bowed, and Nezumi read the Duke's monologue.
This one got to Shion too. The way Nezumi's emotions flowed through the words. It was somewhat startling to Shion. It made him realize how infrequent it was that Nezumi had ever showed his own emotions when they had been together. It had always been like those steel gray eyes hardened around his soul and nothing escaped between them.
When audtions had completely ended, it was time for dinner.
The energy in the room seemed to rise exponentially the moment food became involved. Everyone stood and began to file out the room in groups as they all chatted about the potential parts they wanted.
Shion stayed behind. He gathered up some of the notes he took about the auditions. A couple of the actors came up to him and teased him about what he thought. Shion just smiled, and avoided saying anything where he could.
"See you at dinner, your grace." Ichigan said as he walked out, waving over his shoulder. Shion waved back at him in return.
As he did, he noticed Nezumi leaving, alone again, through the door. The dark haired didn't look back as he did it, and it was like Shion wasn't even there.
Shion tried to stop the disappointment that fell over him. He wasn't sure exactly what he expected. Part of him just wished he could talk to Nezumi freely, just like everybody else.
Shion was despondant over dinner, but tried not to show it. He spoke with his mother, and gave hushed reports about the day to Rikiga, but over all he just felt like he couldn't focus. He didn't taste anything he ate.
His mind kept going back to when Nezumi grabbed him. Thinking over and over again about what he said. Was Nezumi really just trying to protect the image they gave off to the others?
Shion frowned. He didn't want anyone to think Nezumi would do something underhanded like that. Nezumi was an incredible actor, he deserved what he got because of his talent.
Maybe Shion was being selfish by not doing as Nezumi asked and keeping his distance from him.
Shion was considering this when dinner finally ended. He didn't notice at first, when everyone else had gotten up. It was his mother that drew his attention, and he walked with her to her room and said good night.
Still somewhat overwhelmed by his thoughts, Shion headed for his own room through the quiet hallways. It was dark out, and the torchlight guttered, casting shadows on the wall. This sent a bit of a chill down Shion's spine.
He wasn't usually frightened of the castle anymore, not since he was younger. Even being alone he thought he'd grown accustomed to it's echoing halls and shrouded corners.
This said he couldn't shake the feeling he wasn't alone.
Shion opened the door to his room, glancing around a little as he entered, then he sighed. In the smaller space he began to feel more relaxed, and he started removing his tie.
Then something struck him in the back.
Shion landed face down on his bed and was about to shout when a hand clamped down over his mouth, smothering it.
"You're an airhead, you know,"
Shion squeaked.
A chuckle.
"Someone could easily kill you, being that clueless. It's a wonder you've made it as prince for the past four years."
Shion tried to roll to see Nezumi's face but the weight of the boy on his back stopped him from being able to move.
"Easy, easy," Nezumi sighed, leaning back so that he was only straddling Shion's hips instead of sitting on him. "I'm not going to hurt you, princess. I told you I would show up for lessons when I felt like it."
Shion made a noise.
Nezumi sighed, "Promise not to scream and I'll uncover your mouth."
Shion nodded his head and the hand disappeared.
"You want to practice now?" Shion demanded.
"When better?" Nezumi asked, "We're both busy during the day, and no one will come looking for us this late. That way no one will know."
Shion frowned.
"For someone so concerned about appearance, you don't seem worried about a compromising position."
Nezumi chuckled, "You mean the one where I could kill you before you could blink?"
Shion flushed, "The one where you've pinned me to my bed!"
Nezumi laughed harder, "Why is that so compromising, choir boy? Am I getting you a little hot and bothered?"
Nezumi nipped at his ear and Shion jolted with almost enough force to throw Nezumi off balance.
The actor only laughed harder, but he did finally move off of Shion, rolling on to the bed.
"So innocent, Shion."
"I am not!" Shion huffed, pushing off the bed and leaning away. "I wasn't— that wasn't what I meant!"
"Sure," Nezumi snorted.
Shion felt his blush all the way down his neck.
"Are you going to teach me now?"
"Absolutely," said Nezumi cheerfully, "Let start with this."
Nezumi stood and went to Shion's book shelf.
He picked out a book and the came back dropping it in Shion's lap.
"Romeo and Juliet?" Shion read the title aloud. "Why this one?"
"Because," Nezumi explained. "The characters are young and naive. So you'll have an easier time understanding their motivations. You have to understand first, before you can try to act."
"But Rikiga wants me to be cruel and mean." Shion pointed out, "How will this help?"
"Because I'm teaching you how to act, in general," Nezumi explained. "Being cruel is way too far out of your natural character for you to handle right now. If we can work our way there, though, then maybe you can pull it off."
Shion looked confused, "Are you sure about this?"
Nezumi smacked his head, "Stop questioning the teacher! Open the book."
Shion opened it.
"What scene?"
"Have you read it?"
"Yes,"
"What scene do you know the best?"
Shion blushed again.
Nezumi raised an eyebrow, "What?"
Shion mumbled something.
Nezumi forehead creased, "What was that?"
Shion coughed. "The balcony scene."
"Ah," Nezumi nodded. "And that embarrasses the snow-white little choir boy because it's the love scene?"
Shion ducked his head and Nezumi laughed.
"That's one of the easiest scenes to remember," Nezumi assured him. "It's the pinnacle of everything the play is about."
Shion looked up.
Nezumi smiled, "Well turn there then. Act 2 Scene 2."
Shion turned.
"You try to read some of Romeo's lines and then explain to me what you think his motivation is. Don't over think it on this one, Romeo as a character isn't exactly closed off about his feelings."
Shion nodded and started to read.
"But soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Arise fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief that you, her made, art far more fair than she." Shion continued to read until he finally reached the end of the line and looked up at Nezumi.
Nezumi stared at him, "Well?"
Shion frowned, "He's sort of babbling."
Nezumi snorted, "Ok… why?"
Shion glanced down, "Because he likes Juliet."
"Likes her?" Nezumi smirked.
Shion pursed his lips, "Loves her, I guess."
"You guess?"
"Well he's only just met her hasn't he?"
Nezumi chuckled, "Okay, so you're saying that it's not likely that he loves her, because they've only just met. So people can't just meet for one night and after that, not be able to stop thinking about each other?"
Shion jumped a little at those words. He wanted to read Nezumi's face but didn't have the courage to meet his eyes.
"Well…" Shion murmured, "Maybe it's not…. impossible."
Nezumi crossed his arms. "Oh?"
Shion cleared his throat, "Maybe he could love Juliet. He seems to think that he does, so he's saying all this… because seeing her… it makes him really happy, and he can't stop talking about her."
"Is that your answer."
Shion nodded.
Nezumi sighed, "Well… I'd give it a B-. You kind of jumped around, but you're thinking about it, which is a start. Next line, then."
"Juliet's?"
Nezumi shook his head, "Romeo's. Actually— here."
Nezumi sat down beside Shion so he could read the book.
"I'll read Juliet's lines, then you try to see if you can understand her motivations by listening to me. Maybe looking at the lines as a bunch of words is part of your problem."
Shion nodded, "All right."
"We'll read to the end of the next page, then you can explain to me what you think about what was going on."
"Okay." Shion agreed.
"Ay me!" Nezumi sighed heavily.
Shion frowned at him, "You're screwing around."
Nezumi rolled his eyes, "What if I was taking it seriously?"
Shion shook his head, "I can tell."
Nezumi chuckled, "Well that's a good sign at least. Read your line."
It went on like that until the end of the page when Nezumi stopped him.
"Ok, what's going on?"
Shion shrugged, "Romeo is spying on her?"
Nezumi snorted, "What else?'
"Juliet seems upset. She wants him to give up on his family and his name so that he can be with her."
Nezumi nodded, "Is that love or is she being selfish?"
Shion thought about it. "Well… I see how it sounds a little selfish. But it's the only way they can be together, and she says she would do they same thing if he said he loved her."
Nezumi eyebrows rose, "That's true. So you think love is more important than family obligations?"
Shion shrugged, "I think it's a choice you have the right to make. What you think is the most important is the thing you should go after."
Nezumi nodded slowly, "I see." he cleared his throat. "Keep reading."
They went on until the end of the scene. Shion frowned.
"Did they kiss?"
Nezumi snorted. "No."
"I saw this show once… and I could have sworn…
"Acting crews make some personal choices, sometimes, when doing shows." Nezumi explained.
"Well.. it kind of changes the scene."
"It does?"
"Yes." Shion said, "It makes it seem almost like she's teasing him."
Nezumi burst out laughing, "Why is that?"
"She keeping going inside, and coming back, then back inside, then coming back out—,"
Nezumi was laughing so hard he was holding his stomach.
"I never thought I'd hear that from you!"
"What do you mean?" Shion demanded.
"I didn't even think you understood what a kiss was!"
Shion flushed, "I understand!"
Nezumi chuckled, "Well, either way. They kissed before at the party. It's only been a few hours."
Shion's eyes widened. "They did?"
Nezumi glanced at him, "Well yeah."
"But they'd only just met at the party!"
Nezumi shrugged, "I guess it was just too tempting for them."
Shion turned red again. "Seriously?"
"Well let's see." Nezumi took the book and turned backwards.
He handed it to Shion.
"What do you think their motivations were?"
Shion read, "I think they just took word play a little too far."
Nezumi had to smother more laugher.
"I think it was flirting."
Shion looked at him, "Flirting?"
Nezumi's eyes widened and then he shook his head. "Never mind."
"What is he talking about? Sinning?" Shion asked, "If kissing is sinning why are they doing it?"
Nezumi looked baffled, "I don't think that's exactly what they meant."
"What do you think?"
"I think it was an excuse for another kiss," Nezumi said bluntly.
"But they already kissed. Why did he need an excuse?"
Nezumi put his head in his hands.
"I think I had it right the first time. You have no idea what you're talking about."
Shion frowned, "I'm trying!"
Nezumi sighed, "You can't rationalize kissing. That's not going to help you understand it."
"Then what will?"
Nezumi was silent for a moment, he sighed.
"Shion?"
Shion looked up from the book and turned his head towards Nezumi. Once he had, Nezumi's hand came around and cradled his face along the jaw.
He leaned in and pressed their lips together.
Shion sucked in a breath of surprise.
Nezumi's mouth on his made him feel like his entire body lit on fire from his blush. The way Nezumi's rough fingers brushed his cheek, and his soft lips massaged Shion's as they moved against them. It made Shion feel like he was melting into water. He leaned into Nezumi.
When Nezumi pulled away, for a moment Shion followed, and Nezumi chuckled low in his throat as he held him back.
"So innocent."
Shion blinked his eyes open to see Nezumi grinning. He went crimson again.
"What was…" Shion started to ask.
Nezumi showed his teeth when he smiled. "Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged." he said, reaching out to brush Shion's lips with his thumb as if wiping them clean. Shion's skin impossibly darkened again.
"I thought you were going to be Juliet." he said, looking into Nezumi's eyes.
Nezumi chuckled, "Not in this situation."
"So what's my line then?" Shion asked, and Nezumi raised his eyebrows.
"That depends. You said you didn't understand why they kissed twice. What do you think should happen next?"
Shion let out a breath.
His thoughts turned for a moment inside his head, looking into Nezumi's eyes. Then, his gaze dropped to his lips. Shion swallowed.
He reached for Nezumi.
This time when their lips met Shion felt it like a shock down his spine. One hand curled around Nezumi's neck and the other found it's way to the black silk of his hair.
Nezumi seemed to tense at first, but slowly he relaxed. His hand returned to Shion's cheek. His thumb stroking along the shape of his scar, following it along Shion's cheekbone down around the back of his neck. Shion shivered.
Then Nezumi's tongue swept across Shion's bottom lip.
Shion gasped, jumping in surprise and Nezumi's tongue delved into his mouth
Shion squeaked, and almost pulled back. He felt Nezumi lean into him, his tongue tasting the roof of his mouth making Shion shudder.
Shion made a soft noise, and it surprised him, making him blush.
Then Nezumi was pulling away.
The were both breathing hard as they parted. Nezumi completely disentangling from Shion and reaching up to run his thumb over his own bottom lip.
For a moment, when Shion looked at him, he looked surprised, or sort of confused. Then his eyes rose to Shion's and a confident smirk appeared.
"Hmm. Well it seems like the airhead understands now."
Shion blinked, "Nezumi… I…
"Sorry," Nezumi leaned back on his hands, "my teaching methods were a little hands on. But someone needed to make you understand kissing, and it's not like it means anything to me."
Shion balked. "What?"
Nezumi looked at him. His eyes looked dark, and hard again. Shion couldn't see anything in them except the color of metal.
"Well I'm an actor," Nezumi said, rolling his eyes. "I have to kiss boys all the time for shows. You get pretty comfortable with meaningless touching."
Shion swallowed.
"Was that your first kiss?" Nezumi asked. His voice still had an edge to it. "I'm sorry it wasn't with a girl. Maybe I should have let that girl you danced with the other night get to you first—,"
"Get out."
Nezumi looked at him with wide eyes. "What?"
Shion raised his eyes, shaded and blazing. "This is your idea of teaching me? I don't want 'meaningless touching'. It's why I've struggled with Rikiga in the first place. I don't want to lie, or be meaningless. I want to be a real king, a real person. I thought you were real, at least towards me. If that's not true then stay the hell away from me!"
Nezumi flinched back. His eyes dropped their shell and showed something beneath. Something moving and alive.
Nezumi looked down, "What did you think this was Shion? I thought I told you—,"
"I don't know," Shion snapped, "I don't know what I thought this was. I just remember everyday since I was twelve walking up and thinking about you. I never thought I'd see you again and when I did…" Shion shook his head. "I'm drawn to you. I want to know more about you. But you shove me away." Shion looked down. "I just… I want to know you Nezumi."
Nezumi lowered his head so Shion couldn't see his eyes.
"We can't know each other, Shion. Because knowing people changes things. You and I… we don't belong to the same world."
Shion eyes widened, "Why?"
Nezumi balled his hands into fist. "You don't remember the things that I told you before. Or if you do, you don't understand." he stood up and started walking to the door.
"I think you were right," Nezumi said. "I should stay away from you."
Then he opened the door and walked out, closing it behind him. Shion sat on the bed, staring after him.
He didn't know why, but something in his chest was aching.
Shion leaned forward until he was lying across his bed. He closed his eyes and curled in on himself, wishing he could fall asleep.