Chapter 61

As Jaime led Tommen by the hand towards the crypts of Casterly Rock, he began to regret volunteering to take him to visit Cersei's final resting place. Sansa had said that she would take Tommen down to see Cersei's crypt, but Jaime didn't think it was right for him to allow her to do such a thing. Not after all that Cersei had done to her – including sending an assassin to kill her and Julianna. Tommen was his responsibility – he and Cersei had created him - and he was the one who should complete this grim task.

"Which way are we going, Uncle Jaime?" he asked quietly.

"Just down here. You don't have to go down to the crypts, you know. Your mother…she knew that you loved her. And she knows that you love her still."

"But I didn't get to say goodbye," he whispered, his eyes filling with tears. The sight of his bright green eyes filled with tears looked exactly like Julianna's eyes when she was scared or tired, and clung to Jaime for comfort. He felt a desire to stop the boy's pain stir inside of him as Tommen continued.

"She didn't even tell me when she left King's Landing to come here and see you. Before that she'd been in the Great Sept for weeks. And when she returned, I did not see her much. I was usually with…with Margaery and Ser Loras. I miss them, too," he said, whispering the last as if he thought Jaime might be angry.

Jaime didn't know what to do to comfort the boy, feeling even more guilt than before, knowing that he'd taken Cersei from him when Tommen had already been missing her presence in his life. He settled for holding the little boy's hand tightly as they continued walking. Tommen froze, dropping his hand, when Jaime opened the door to the crypts, and the cold, dry air hit him in the face. Jaime knelt down beside him, resting the golden hand on his back.

"Are you all right?" He nodded, though Jaime saw that he was not. "You have nothing to fear, Tommen. You are far braver than you might think." Jaime hesitated before continuing. "There is Lannister blood in your veins. You have blood of the lion. And a lion does not fear anything."

He could see that Tommen was considering his words carefully before he nodded and reached for Jaime's hand again, gripping it tightly. "You won't let go of my hand, will you, Uncle Jaime?"

"Of course not."

He walked with the little boy, slowly leading him to Cersei's resting place. Jaime felt his own heart pounding in his chest, the deeper they walked into the crypts. Jaime had not been there since he and Sansa had interred Lord Tywin. He was ashamed to admit it, but Sansa's presence had made the experience bearable and he found himself wishing she were with them now. I tell Tommen to be a brave lion, but I myself am a coward longing for my little wife for comfort.

As difficult as it had been to entomb his father, the idea of visiting Cersei's final resting place filled Jaime with dread. He knew that he was being ridiculous in his apprehension of entering the crypts. He'd not seen Cersei since she took her last breaths, asking Lady Alys to see to it that she was interred as quickly as possible, once one of the maids had discovered her body. He couldn't bear to look upon his dead twin again, and had not been present when her tomb had been sealed. Now, as he walked towards her final resting place, he felt his own grip on Tommen's hand tighten as they made their way through the darkened crypt. Tommen was carrying the torch in his free hand, since he clung to Jaime's only good one.

Jaime stopped in front of Cersei's crypt saw that Lady Alys had placed a ring of roses made of cloth of gold on the marble slab covering her grave. He remembered a winter when he was a child, not long after his mother had died, when he and Cersei had made such flowers for Lady Joanna's grave. He was glad someone had seen to putting something on Cersei's grave. Despite what she'd done, she was still his sister, and he had loved her. Jaime felt torn in so many directions, between his blinding rage at Cersei for her actions toward Sansa, hurt at her faithlessness toward him, sadness for Tommen's loss of a mother, and disbelief that he still lived while she did not.

"She's in there?" Tommen asked quietly, looking at the gleaming marble before him, and bringing Jaime back to the present.

"Yes," Jaime said. "Lord Tywin and Lady Joanna are right beside her. She's not alone down here. She's near our parents." He knew the words were more comforting to him than to Tommen. The boy handed him the torch, which Jaime placed in the hook on the wall and watched as Tommen touched the cold white marble, running his hand over the smooth surface. He knelt beside the boy, resting his own hand on the marble slab that covered Cersei's body.

Why did it have to end this way? Our lives could have been so different. Jaime wished more than anything that Cersei had not felt that she needed him to give up his life for her – to give up having a wife and family – all so that he could do her bidding. Why did she desire power and the throne so much, when I never cared for either? He wondered when he stopped seeing her for who she really was. I'll take care of Tommen. I promise you that, Sister.

"Do you miss her, uncle Jaime?" Tommen asked, sitting on Jaime's knee.

Jaime was startled by the child's desire to be close to him, but found it oddly comforting, as well. "Sometimes…Sometimes I miss her so much it hurts."

"Me, too."

"When Cersei and I were your age, growing up here at the Rock, we did everything together. She always used to say that we were two halves of the same person." He looked at Tommen. "Of course, after a time, that all changed. We grew up. I became a knight of the Kingsguard, living in King's Landing and serving the Mad King, while she remained here at the Rock. Then she became queen, and we were together once more but…it was different." Jaime stopped before he said too much. "She loved you very much, Tommen. She loved her children very much, and she always did what she believed was best for your future."

He nodded, leaning against back against Jaime's chest. "I wish mother was here with us. I wish that bad man had not killed her." Jaime closed his eyes, a wave of guilt coursing over him. He knew he'd done the right thing for Sansa and Julianna. Cersei would not have stopped until they were both dead. But he regretted causing Tommen pain and making him an orphan. He wished his sister would have thought of Tommen. He wished she would have worried about being a mother to him – about taking care of him – rather than trying to separate he and Sansa.

"Did you wish to say anything?" Jaime asked, eager to be out of there.

He saw that Tommen was seriously considering his words before nodding and kneeling down before the marble slab once more. Jaime rose and stood behind him, listening to the child's heartfelt words.

"I miss you, Mother. Perhaps you're happy to be with Joffy again. And Grandfather. I'll be all right," he whispered, his voice breaking. "Sansa and Uncle Jaime will take care of me. They promised that I can live with them until I'm grown. And that my kittens can live here, too. I promise to not to be a baby…and not to shame you. I'll be a brave lion, like you always wanted. Sansa says she and Uncle Jaime will love me and protect me always," he said, his voice breaking as he started to cry.

As he listened to Tommen's words, Jaime was overwhelmed with guilt and wished the loathsome Tyrells had not brought the boy to the Rock. He wished they had taken him to Highgarden and raised him and kept him safe themselves. Jaime knew he was a terrible father. Worse even than King Robert had been. Not only did he have no relationship with the boy, but he'd taken away his mother. I killed the only parent the little boy had left in the world. And yet I would still wish him away. I'd give anything not to see the pain I've caused him.

Jaime hated that poor Sansa was now forced to raise the boy. It wasn't fair to her. It felt wrong for him to allow her to do such a thing, though he knew she had genuine affection for Tommen. She'll not resent me for it. She'll treat him better –and be more of a parent to him – than any of his actual parents, King Robert included.

Jaime realized Tommen was speaking to him and forced himself to pay attention. "What was that, Tommen?"

"When it is spring again, may I bring mother flowers?"

"Of course," Jaime said, nodding, and reaching for the torch, noticing that Tommen, after briefly examining it, took his golden hand as they left the crypts. He walked quickly with Tommen, wanting nothing more than to turn him back over to Sansa so he could try to forget the sight of his son's misery at Cersei's death. A misery that I caused.

…

"Daenerys Targaryen – the Dragon Queen - is marching South," Ser Addam said, handing over the parchment he'd received from the Maester. "King's Landing is preparing itself for her arrival in two moons. There's no word if Stannis is dead or was merely defeated, but the girl and her forces have been sighted marching south of the Wall."

Jaime leaned his sword against the stone wall as he took the missive sent by Ser Kevan. He'd been practicing with Arya when the raven had arrived.

"Perhaps Robert was correct in his desire to have she and her brother killed." Jaime continued reading the letter, which did not seek additional Lannister soldiers. Ser Kevan merely wished for Casterly Rock to be prepared in the event that Kings Landing fell, or should the Targaryen girl bypass the capitol all together and march straight for the Rock. "What is this army she marches with? Certainly not the Dothraki?"

Ser Addam shook his head. "No, the Dothraki would never have crossed the narrow sea for her. It appears she's acquired – perhaps purchased – soldiers from abroad. They aren't from Westeros. They aren't…her people, in any sense of the word."

Jaime glanced over at Arya, who was clearly interested in their discussion. "How does she expect to hold to the Realm, when she herself has never set foot here, except to invade?"

"That is how the Targaryens conquered the Realm in the first place."

Jaime nodded. "See to it that our soldiers increase their training, and begin drills to hold the castle." He doubted the girl would miss the chance to try to claim the Iron Thone, though he supposed it was entirely possibly that she would continue marching, seeking out Jaime – the man who killed her father.

"Of course, I'll begin the drills today but…if the tales of dragons are true –"

"Then there is little we can do. Bring me any further messages as soon as they arrive."

Ser Addam nodded his agreement before heading toward the soldier's barracks.

"Are there really dragons?" Arya asked, her eyes glowing with the prospect of magic.

"You should hope there are not. The Targaryen girl will certainly wish to see Casterly Rock burned to the ground, much Harrenhal was. You saw the ruin it is now."

"Why would she do that? Why would she burn the Rock?"

Jaime picked up his sword again and sat, sharpening it with a whetstone. "What did your father teach you about Robert's Rebellion – how it ended? How the Lannisters ended the Rebellion?"

"You killed the Mad King as your father and his soldiers sacked King's Landing." He smiled to himself as Arya stumbled over her words a bit, hesitant to utter the words that he'd killed the Mad King.

"And then? What of Princess Elia and her children? Prince Rhaeger Targaryen's children?"

"They were all killed and the dead children were presented to King Robert by your father, Lord Tywin."

Jaime nodded, not looking at the little girl seated beside him. "So you understand why the Targaryen girl would want me, and any other Lannister, dead and Casterly Rock destroyed."

"But the king was mad."

"And he was also her father. I imagine she would put quite a prize on the head of the Kingslayer."

"I won't let her hurt you," Arya said, and Jaime saw that the child clearly believed she could take on an entire army.

"Do you plan to slay a dragon for me?" Jaime asked with a smile. He could see the girl was considering it, and knew he should reassure her. "It will take her many months to reach Casterly Rock, in any case. There are many men in King's Landing. Every Lannister soldier who isn't here is in the capitol, as well as all men sword to Highgarden. That's more than a hundred thousand soldiers, Arya. It won't be so easy to sack King's Landing as it was for my father during the Rebellion."

That seemed to calm her fears a bit, though Jaime was not entirely certain of their continued safety, should dragonfire rain down on them. He knew he, Ser Addam and the Maester would have to spend some time this afternoon going over maps and planning possible strategies, should Daenerys Targaryen lay siege to Casterly Rock. Jaime was already in a foul mood after his morning in the crypts with Tommen. This news did little to improve his mood.

"Are you glad your son is here?" he heard Arya whisper quietly from her seat beside him. He turned to look at her and saw sadness in her expression.

"He's never been my son," Jaime said pointedly. "He has nowhere else to go and…Sansa is right that he belongs here, at the Rock."

"Can we still practice together?" she asked, and he could see now that she expected that he would abandon their friendship now that Tommen was living at Casterly Rock.

"Though I expect Tommen would give me far less trouble than you do…I would very much miss it if you and I did not continue as we have been."

She looked away from him, but he could see the smile forming on her lips. "That's what Sansa said."

"Your sister's a smart girl."

"Is it wrong that we're friends?" she asked suddenly. "Lannisters and Starks are supposed to hate each other. My father did not like you."

Jaime laughed. "He did not. Your father and I were very different. But I don't think it's wrong that we're friends or that Sansa and I are wed. In times of war, in difficult times, sometimes you see a side of a person you might not otherwise see and sometimes you are forced to rely on and trust a person you might not otherwise." He saw that Arya was taking in his every word. "And when you do that, you may realize that person is not who you thought they were. You're certainly not the brat I believed you to be when we first met."

She scowled at him – not unlike her sister – though she finally nodded and sat closer to him, watching as he cleaned his now sharpened sword. He wanted to ask if this is what she would do with her father, but decided not to, knowing that the child was already struggling with guilt over their friendship. How is it so easy to have a friendship with her, but so difficult for me to have a relationship with my own son?

…

After returning from Tommen down to the crypts, Sansa had quietly suggested to Jaime that Tommen might wish to join he and Arya for their practice, but he had said the boy was too little and left him with her. She wondered what had happened when he took Tommen to say farewell to Cersei. She sensed a distance between them – at least a distance from Jaime - even more so than before.

Tommen had spent the day with she and Julianna. Sansa had suggested that he might like to read the baby a story, and the three of them had gone to the library to select a book, and then settled on the large couch in Sansa's sitting room. Tommen read aloud, and did rather well, only needing Sansa's help with a few of the bigger words. Julianna didn't understand a word, of course, but Tommen seemed to enjoy acting as a big brother to the baby and she thought it was good for him to practice reading.

She supposed they would eventually have to find someone to oversee the children's education, but Sansa didn't see any rush. She could work with Tommen on his studies for the time being. While Julianna napped they had done some math problems together and then she had left him in his room, playing with his kittens until dinner.

Jaime had been noticeably withdrawn during dinner, not speaking much to her or to Tommen. She had hoped that going together to Cersei's crypt would bring them closer together, but it appeared that was not to be the case. She could see that he had a lot on his mind – and wondered what it was exactly – but knew it wasn't the time to inquire. After dinner, Sansa sent Jaime off to their chamber with Julianna, while she put Tommen to bed herself. She wasn't sure how to ask Jaime what had happened in the crypts and she certainly wasn't going to bring it up to the little boy as she tucked him in for the night.

By the time she returned to their chamber, Jaime was stretched out on the bed, wearing only his breeches, waiting for her. "Where were we last night before being so inconveniently interrupted?"

Sansa shook her head at the lecherous smirk he gave her, and quietly snuck over to the bassinette and peered in, seeing that her baby was sleeping peacefully. She turned back to Jaime and removed her slippers, climbing onto the bed with him.

"You've far too much clothing on right now, sweet girl."

She kissed his chest before resting her head on it, hearing his heart beat beneath her cheek. "What happened when you took him to the crypts?" she asked quietly, feeling his whole body tense at her question, though he continued stroking her hair.

"He said his farewells and spoke of how much he misses his mother. And how sad he is that the bad man killed her." Sansa felt her insides twist at his words, knowing how they must have tortured Jaime to hear. "You may have to accept that there is something wrong with me, Sansa," he said quietly. "I may not be capable of loving the boy."

"I don't believe that's true. He's your son, your blood. Whatever you feel now, Jaime," she began, trying to be gentle as she sat up beside him and met his eyes, "He is yours, and you have a duty to him. And he's here now – you can't just pretend he's not."

"It was your brilliant idea that we keep him here," Jaime said with a tone that stung her a bit. He rose from the bed and poured a cup of wine before sitting down again. "I'm sorry, forgive me," he said, seeing her expression. "I'm not angry with you."

"Who are you angry with?"

"There were never supposed to be children. I still don't know how it happened. How my bastards ended up sitting on the Iron Throne." He said the last in a tortured whisper. "The…madness between us…between Cersei and I…it was supposed to end when she married. I wasn't supposed to fall in love with her. I had told myself it was only…childish experimentation. Then Robert rejected her on their wedding night. He called her 'Lyanna' and she hated him for it. She wanted to hurt him. What better way than to take the Iron Throne from him? Of course, she couldn't take it from him herself, but she could take it through her child. A child that was all hers. That's what Joffrey was. A pure Lannister. I never thought she would deliberately get pregnant with my child. That she would place him on the throne. And turn him into a monster."

Jaime drained his cup of wine and leaned back on the bed, his head against the pillows. Sansa felt a bit unsettled herself, hearing Jaime speak so plainly of his lifetime affair with his twin sister.

"Tommen's not a monster," Sansa said quietly. "As much…as much cruelty as was in Joffrey, is how much good and sweetness is in Tommen. Don't you see how much he wants you to love him?"

"You're the one he wants love from. He'd probably stab me in the heart if he thought it meant you'd share his bed, rather than mine."

"Stop it," she said, laughing. "He is your son, Jaime. You will love him in time."

"What if I don't?"

Sansa smiled and crawled over to Jaime, stretching out beside him. She kissed the corner of his mouth. "You will, Jaime. I promise you will. Don't worry so much about loving him as his father. Just get to know him, as you did with Arya. It's no different. If you could win her over, you can certainly form a relationship with Tommen."

"Stannis Baratheon was defeated at the Wall by the Targaryen girl," he said quietly, running his hand over Sansa's back.

"Then it's a good thing Tommen's here, and not in the Red Keep. Another battle would scare him."

"And if the war comes here, to the Rock?"

"Do you think that will happen?" she asked nervously.

"I don't know. Ser Addam's begun preparations with the soldiers. I hope the war stays far away. I'd never wish to see you anywhere near a real battlefield. At any rate, it will be many months before anyone could reach the Rock. We'll have plenty of time to prepare, should the battle come further south."

Sansa felt reassured. She knew Jaime would not allow any harm to come to her or their baby. Or to Tommen. She began kissing his chest, her fingers trailing up to his hair. She giggled as she felt his hand on her back, pulling at the laces of her gown.

"Go bolt the door?" he asked, reaching for the laces of his breeches. "I'll not tolerate any interruptions tonight."

Sansa did as he asked, shedding her own clothing as she returned to their bed. She and Jaime made love and Sansa hoped that he would forget whatever was troubling him. She loved him so much and she knew that little Tommen's affection could help to ease his guilt and pain over killing Cersei.

When she woke in the night to feed the babe, Sansa unlocked the door to their chamber and slipped on Jaime's tunic, just in case, Tommen needed her during the night. Sure enough, Sansa awoke to find that Tommen had snuck into bed with them. The boy was curled up beside her, his arm slung across her middle, dead asleep. She was glad that she had unlocked the door, the thought of little Tommen coming to her and finding himself locked out broke her heart. Though, she could see Jaime was less than thrilled to have company in their bed yet again.

…

Next Chapters: The White Walkers reach Lannisport…