#59 – Divine

Jake and Rachel stood about 100 yards west of the main campfire in the Valley of the Hork-Bajir. They could see their fellow freedom fighters – Tobias in human form conversing with his long-lost mother, Marco telling jokes to a small crowd of bewildered Hork-Bajir, Cassie in quiet conversation with her parents. They could see them, but Jake had carefully led Rachel out of the range of prying ears.

The only sound was the chirping of random birds as the sun set on what was to be their last night in the Valley. Maybe their last night anywhere. Jake's posture was hunched and unhappy; Rachel stood as she always did – head held high, shoulders square, one hand on a confidently-cocked hip. Rachel had swagger, even when she was standing still.

Jake's unreadable brown eyes searched Rachel's gleaming blue ones as he let his last request sink it; because it was a request, not one of his usual orders. Rachel viewed all of Jake's orders as strong suggestions, anyway. She always had, and she always would.

Slowly but confidently, she began to nod. "I can do that," she said easily.

"You know what I'm asking you to do?" Jake asked carefully. He knew that she did, but for the sake of his own conscious and her respect, he had to make sure.

Her eyes blazed. "I'm not stupid. I know what you're asking. I said I can do it."

Jake didn't like to push Rachel when she was like this, but he felt that he had to. "Then say it. Say out loud what I need from you."

She looked like she might punch him for a moment; the set of her shoulders tensed and she rolled her right hand into a fist. After a short moment, she relaxed and actually smiled a little. "You're asking me to be insane one last time. You're using me as a kamikaze pilot with no plane. I get it, and I know what happens to kamikaze pilots. I know. Has to be done."

"Unless you see another way," Jake added quickly. It was his idea, but it had to be her decision. He had to give her multiple outs.

Rachel thought about it. "No other way," she finally said. "Not with what we've got. The only thing that's kept us alive and free is our power to surprise the Yeerks. They'll never expect it. Tom – the real Tom – probably doesn't believe that you have it in you to send me. To let me go," she quickly amended, knowing how this would play out in the end. She couldn't let Jake live with the guilt of feeling like it wasn't 100% her will to go. If he survived at all; that was not even close to a guarantee. Lots of people were going to die the next day.

Jake nodded…and then hesitated. The war had turned him ruthless, that much was certain. But, like anything else, there are levels of ruthlessness…and Jake didn't know if he could go to the extreme of sending his cousin to kill his brother. A crack appeared in his calm façade, and for a moment the misery of the choice was clear on his face. "What am I thinking?" he wondered out loud. "If this is where we have to go in order to win, maybe we're better off losing. After all we've been through, I don't think I can stand losing you like this, Rachel."

Suddenly, Rachel was the one doing the calming. "You're not guaranteed to lose me. The Yeerks are new at morphing. I've been using my grizzly for three years. There's every chance in the world I can do my job and get out free and clear. Done it a million times," she said breezily. Jake's eyes spoke, and they said, you know better.

Rachel's grin reappeared. "Even if I can't get out, it doesn't matter. That's the price of winning. I'm willing to pay it. Case closed." She closed her eyes and turned her face to the dying sun for maybe the last time. "Do you know what kamikaze means, Jake? In Japanese?" He shook his head no. "It means divine wind. I like the thought of a divine wind being the thing that wins the war for us. I like the thought of me being that wind even more." She elbowed him in the ribs playfully, and he smiled sadly, despite himself. "Let me go, Jake. Let me be the wind that brings down the Yeerks."

Jake shed a tear. Rachel pretended to find something back the way of the campfire to look at. "All right," he finally said. "Be the wind."

Rachel smiled a sad smile herself. "That's all I want. End of discussion, the decision is made. Now let's go get a cup of berry coffee and forget about this mess until tomorrow. We'll deal with it then."

And they did.