As always, thank you for the reviews. The rest of Westeros – Jon, Dany, Tyrion – will slowly make their way into this story, so don't think they have been forgotten. The story is just not at that point yet. There is some adult content at the end of this chapter (as was requested).

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Chapter 64

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Sansa stood at the library windows, looking down at Lannisport. She had not moved from that spot, after Jaime left her there, except to turn and face the windows, looking into the inky blackness. As she looked out over the town below and thought about what was down there – what she had seen – she remembered the stories Old Nan had told her as a child about the Long Night and the White Walkers. Robb and Jon had loved the scary stories the old woman told, but they always terrified Sansa. She didn't enjoy being scared as they did. She remembered how she would cling to her older brothers as she listened to Old Nan's stories, and how Robb would hold her on his lap, promising that nothing would harm her.

Thinking of those stories, she knew that the people of Lannisport – that all citizens of the Realm for that matter – were fighting the White Walkers for their lives. She'd never truly believed the terrible stories she'd been told, but she did now. She couldn't bear the thought of Jaime leaving the safety of the castle walls, and waging battle against those monsters. She couldn't bear the thought of Jaime facing the horrors that Old Nan had told them about. The thought of Jaime in a fight for his life terrified her.

How am I supposed to allow him to risk his life? How can I not do everything in my power to stop him? She knew he thought that she wanted him to stay back from the battle because of his missing hand, but that had nothing to do with it. She knew what a strong warrior he was. Even now. But she doubted any man could defeat the White Walkers. Jaime wasn't talking about going into battle against mere men. He was going to fight monsters.

Why must he risk his life? He has tens of thousands of men who can fight them. Or we can all stay here and wait for them to leave. There must be someone else who can battle them.

She startled when she felt gentle hands on her arms, until she saw that it was her mother. Sansa quickly wiped her tears, not wishing her mother to think Jaime had hurt her. She doesn't need another reason to hate Jaime.

"Your father and I had not been married two days before he left to continue fighting Robert's Rebellion," she began, speaking quietly in Sansa's ear, her hands resting on her upper arms, holding her still. "He was with me long enough for us to marry, and…to conceive Robb. Then he left for two long years. He could easily have died at the hands of the Targaryen forces. I think I expected that he would."

Sansa could tell her mother was fighting tears. "That first time, when he left me, was not so hard, because I did not love him then. I barely knew him. Love came later, after he returned home from the war. After he gave me you and Arya. When he left to fight the Ironborn."

She had vague memories of her father leaving for the war. She remembered holding Robb's hand as he told her to be brave and promised to take care of her himself, while their father rode away. "You were such a little thing when he left to fight Greyjoy's Rebellion and Arya was no older than Julianna."

"When he left me the second time, I held Arya in my arms, and you and Robb held hands by my side…I loved your father so much. And the thought of him dying…broke my heart. I may have wanted to beg him to stay with me – to refuse to allow him to go to war. But I knew I had to let him go. It was his duty, it was who he was, and he had to go when his king called. I prayed for him. You and Robb and I prayed together for his safe return. And he did return."

Sansa began to cry, knowing that she would have to let Jaime go, though she didn't want him to. I want him to stay here with me.

"Sansa, I had to be strong for your father. It would have done no good for him to worry for me, when he should have been concentrating on the battle in front of him. And my begging him to stay would only have caused us both grief, without changing anything. I had to let him go. I know you can do the same. That's what a lady does when her lord husband must go into battle. My love, you have been a lady since you were three; you know what your duty to your husband is. And I know, no matter how difficult it is…that you will be brave. That you will be the woman I raised you to be. For him, and for your daughter."

"I don't want him to leave. I want him here where I know he's safe." Sansa turned in her mother's arms, crying against her shoulder.

"I know you do, darling. But it can't always be as you wish it to be."

"I'm so afraid, mother. I was so afraid the whole time after father…after he died. I was all alone in the Red Keep with no one to protect me and…I didn't feel safe until Jaime was with me and we've never been apart, not since we were married." Not since that first night I slept in his arms and knew no one could hurt me. "What if he doesn't return? What if my life goes back to-"

"That is not going to happen. While he's gone, your guards will protect you. You are Lady of this castle and nothing will change that. The staff here will do as you command and that includes the red cloaks."

Sansa wiped her eyes again, nodding. "I can be brave for Jaime. I don't wish to make it more difficult for him. Julianna and Tommen and I need him. We need him to be safe and to return to us." She indulged herself for quite a while, allowing her mother to hold her and comfort her as she did when Sansa was a little girl. Though, she knew she would eventually have to act as a grown woman again.

I will be the lady wife that Jaime needs me to be. I owe him so much for saving me from Joffrey…I can do this for him.

…

Sansa slowly walked back to her chamber, her guards trailing after her. She knew Jaime and his soldiers were to leave at the next dawn, which would come far too soon for her. At most, she only had a few days before he would leave her, with no certainty that he would ever return. Sansa knew that her mother was right. If Jaime was going to prevail against the White Walkers – if he was going to come back to her - he needed to know that she believed in him. He needed to know that he had her support and that her thoughts and prayers would be with him always.

When she entered their bedchamber, Sansa saw that the fire was blazing, though no one was in the chamber. She wondered where Jaime was and heard the sound of water splashing and her daughter's laughter coming from the bathing room. She walked in and saw that Jaime was in the bath with Julianna. She was sitting on his lap and laughing as she pounded her hands on the water, making it splash. The baby loved when Jaime shared the bath with her. They would play and splash and their laughter would fill the bedchamber. Sansa would always pretend to be annoyed that the marble floors were covered with water, but the truth was she took great pleasure in seeing her husband and daughter enjoy each other's company as much as they did.

She remembered how Jaime had once feared that he wasn't capable of loving their baby. Whenever she watched them together, she would remember that, and see how wrong he was. She could see the utter joy Julianna felt in her father's presence. She saw how much Jaime loved their baby and felt connected to her. It broke her heart to think that Jaime might not see her grow up. Stop! Sansa forced the thought from her mind. Jaime will return safely, and he will help me to raise the little girl who loves him so much.

Jaime looked up and met her eyes. "Tommen's already asleep with those bloody kittens all around him on the bed," he said quietly, a smile on his face as he watched their daughter play.

"I know, I checked on him." Sansa moved closer, kneeling down beside the bath and reaching down to gently stroke Julianna's wet curls. She smiled at Sansa, squealing loudly and splashing the water again. Sansa reached over and smoothed her hand over Jaime's wet hair, her heart clenching at the hurt she saw in his eyes. "She's so happy."

The babe slammed her hands into the water again, making another splash that sprayed Sansa. The sounds of the babe's laughter filled the room.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, watching as the babe turned to Jaime, grinning and clutching his arm.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I know you didn't mean to…I know." he leaned back against the tub, cuddling Julianna's slippery little body against him. Sansa pulled up her sleeves and reached into the water, picking up a cloth and gently washing the babe as Jaime held her. When she'd finished, Sansa leaned over and kissed Jaime, hoping he could forgive her. She felt his mouth moving against hers as Julianna began splashing the water again and by the time Sansa pulled away the front of her gown was soaked.

Jaime's eyes roamed over her wet gown, no doubt expecting another lecture from Sansa about his teaching their daughter to be a wildling. "I suppose she's had enough," he said, the amusement clear in his voice.

Sansa shook her head and stood up, unfolding a fluffy towel and draping it over her arms, so Jaime could place the wet baby there. She wrapped the towel around Julianna and held her tightly, carrying her into their bedchamber and plopping her down on the furs in front of the fire to dry off. Sansa removed her wet gown and joined Julianna on the furs, clad only in her shift, rubbing the towel over the baby's little body, drying her off and brushing her hair back. She smiled up at Sansa as the fire crackled and warmed them both.

Sansa picked her up and hugged her, kissing her little cheek. I love her so much. She played with her little red curls and gazed into the glittering green eyes the babe had inherited from Jaime. He has to be here to see her grow up. He has to. She put a diaper on her and dressed her in her sleeping clothes before standing with the babe in her arms and settling into one of the chairs before the fire. Sansa gently stroked her little body, trying to relax her for bed, and succeeded, judging by her little yawns.

Jaime walked into their chamber and Julianna perked up, cooing and gurgling as she tried to get his attention. Sansa silently handed her over to Jaime, knowing that while she preferred to cuddle with Sansa in the mornings, Julianna would rather fall asleep in Jaime's arms. He settled in the other chair, letting their baby lie against his bare chest, her little head on his shoulder as he quietly murmured in her ear. Sansa couldn't hear him, he was speaking so gently to her. She simply curled her feet under her and watched the two people she loved most in the world.

Sansa knew the baby was asleep when Jaime stopped murmuring to her and met Sansa's blue eyes. "I am sorry, Jaime," she whispered, forcing herself not to cry.

Jaime carefully stood and placed the babe in her bassinette. "I know you're scared. I wish I didn't have to leave you but...I have to go. For you. For Julianna and Tommen."

She nodded, looking down at her hands folded in her lap. She knew he was right, but it pained her all the same. She was aware of Jaime kneeling down before her, his hand covering her own. She looked up and met his eyes. "I love you so much, Jaime. I'm so afraid of something happening to you."

Jaime squeezed her hand and pulled her to her feet, leading her to their bed. He sat on the bed, leaning against the headboard and gently pulled Sansa until she settled on his lap, her head resting on his shoulder. She wrapped her arms around his neck, one hand tracing over his neck and chest. He's so handsome and so strong. She was fascinated by the sight of her pale fingers moving over his golden skin.

"I know you're afraid, Sansa. I know that. And I wish that I didn't have to leave you. I wish that I could take away your fear."

"I know," she whispered.

"Sansa, I…I need you to believe in me." It broke her heart to hear him voice aloud his belief that she didn't support him. She felt like she had failed him. He asked so little of her in return for all that he had done for her and Sansa was ashamed of herself for making him feel as if she doubted his abilities as a knight. "I know it was well before I met you, but…Sansa, I've been in battle many times. You've never been one for war stories, not like Arya, but I promise you my sweet, I'm rather good at it. Killing is one of the few things I'm truly good at…Perhaps the only thing."

"That's not true," she murmured, moving closer and turning towards him, gently kissing him. "There are so many things you are good at."

Jaime smiled sadly, his hand absently stroking her back. "I know I've lost a hand since…my glory days," he said with a bitter laugh. "I understand your doubts. You saw me at my worst over the loss of my hand. You met me when I was certain that I was useless. But…you were right when you told me that I could learn to be just as good a swordsman with my left hand. I promise you, Sansa. If I didn't believe myself capable, I wouldn't go." He clutched her tighter, resting his head against hers. "Please…please believe in me."

Sansa really looked at her husband, and saw that his eyes were searching hers. She saw how much he needed her approval and needed to know that she had faith in him. She had not realized that his self-worth was so linked to her opinion of him. Jaime is so confident. Arrogant even, at times. She supposed that confidence was what made him a good warrior. His confidence and his fearlessness. It will be easier for him to prevail against the White Walkers, if he's confident in his abilities. If he knows that I believe in him.

"Jaime, I know you're capable." She rested her hand on his cheek and kissed him. "I've seen you fight with your left hand and I know that even now, you're a better fighter than most men. I know that. I never doubted it. I'm just so afraid. I wish it didn't have to be you."

"I know you're afraid, sweet girl. Everyone thinks I have no honor. But a man with no honor – a coward – would hide away in his castle, and do nothing to protect the innocent. I don't want to be that man. I promise I will come back to you. I've never had such a good reason – so many good reasons – to return from battle, until you and our girl."

She nodded, as tears fell from her eyes. She felt Jaime wipe away her tears, kissing her forehead. "Please don't cry. You'll be safe here, with Julianna and Tommen. A thousand men will stay here to protect you and the children."

"I know we'll be safe, Jaime. I worry about you."

He sighed and nuzzled against her neck. "You know I have to go. I wouldn't be the man that you deserve if – well, I suppose I'll never be the man that you deserve, but I would like to try to be worthy of you, Sansa. I'd like to try to be the man I wanted to be when I was a boy. I'd like to try to be the honorable knight you always wished to marry."

"You already are." She hated herself for crying. "I'll think of you every moment you are gone…waiting for you to return to me." He held her tightly, rocking her and kissing the top of her head. "I'm sorry I'm so weak," she whispered.

"You're not weak, Sansa. You may not realize it, but you are strong and brave," he said, kissing her temple. "You've survived things that would break many men. You'll survive this, my sweet. I don't pray anymore, so you'll do it for me. And I'll return to you."

"Do you promise?" she asked, tilting her head up to look at him.

"I promise. I don't wish to be away from you for a moment longer than I must. We'll be together again as soon as I can manage. I love you more than anything, Sansa. And I intend to be with you as long as you'll have me."

She thought about how much she loved Jaime and Sansa began softly kissing his neck and moving her hands to his chest. She felt him tangle his hand in her hair and pull her face toward him, kissing her deeply. His hand was creeping up her thigh, moving the hem of her shift up inch by inch. She grasped his wrist, raising an eyebrow.

"You're sending your knight into battle, my lady," he said, kissing and nipping at her neck. "Aren't you supposed to show me the depth of your affections? Give me a memory to see me through the battle? I suspect you would know better than I about what's to be expected."

Sansa couldn't help smiling as Jaime appealed to the part of her that had always loved the songs of knights and ladies and always dreamed of loving a knight herself. She had always thought it would be terribly romantic to send her knight into battle, but now that she was faced with the reality of it – that she could be sending him off to die – Sansa didn't find it very romantic. Though she did want to enjoy every moment they had together before he left. Perhaps we'll even make another baby.

Jaime continued kissing her neck, pulling down one of the straps of her sheath and moving his mouth to her shoulder. "It'll be cold out there…I'll think of tonight when I need memory to warm me."

Sansa pressed against his chest until he lay on his back. "I think I can do that." She leaned over him and began kissing along his jaw. "My brave, handsome knight," she whispered, kissing his neck and moving to his chest. He smelled so fresh and clean as she kissed his newly washed skin. Jaime sighed in pleasure when she kissed one of his nipples, softly lapping at it with her tongue as her fingers played with the other.

His hand tangled in her long hair as she continued kissing his body, dipping her tongue in his belly button. Sansa glanced up at him and saw that he was watching her closely. Her eyes roamed over his torso, taking in the muscles visible beneath his golden skin. He's so strong. So powerful. He'll prevail in this battle. He has to. Sansa reached for the towel around his waist and pulled it open, exposing all of her husband's body to her gaze. His manhood was already growing hard with arousal and she smiled to herself at his gasp when her hand closed around him.

She began to slowly stroke him and glanced back again to see the desire in his gaze. She began kissing and licking below his naval, inching closer and closer to where she knew he wanted to feel her mouth the most. She finally licked the tip of him, tasting the saltiness.

"Gods, Sansa," he groaned, his hand sliding beneath her shift and shoving it up before he pulled at her smallclothes, moving them down past her thighs. She was finding it hard to concentrate when he began stroking between her thighs. Sansa took a deep breath to control her arousal a bit before she took him in her mouth. She knew she'd succeeded in undoing him when his hand stopped moving between her thighs, and instead, he simply gripped her bottom and began moving his hips, slightly thrusting up into her mouth.

"Sansa…Sansa…" she felt him squeezing her bottom and knew he wanted her to stop before he peaked. She sat up and turned to face him, pulling off her smallclothes and straddling him. She leaned forward and kissed him, now thoroughly aroused herself. She slowly pressed her tongue into his mouth, and Jaime growled as he rolled his tongue back against hers.

"Are you certain you wished for me to stop?" she whispered between their deep, passionate kisses, as she moved her mouth to his throat.

Jaime didn't really answer her. He merely growled again against her neck as he sat up, keeping her on his lap. She glanced between them and saw that he was as hard as he had ever been. Before she could touch him, Sansa felt him reach for the hem of her shift and begin pulling it upwards. She reached to help him, pulling it over her head until she was as naked as he was. Her body was so warm and it felt so good as his hand began to stroke over her skin. His mouth almost immediately went to her breasts, closing over one of her nipples. She arched her back, pushing her breasts toward him as he licked and suckled.

"Gods, Jaime…I love you."

She felt his hand on her waist, and the golden hand digging into her bottom as he turned her onto her back and climbed over her, caging her beneath him. His eyes moved up and down her body and Sansa knew she was flushed with arousal. She rested her hands on his shoulders and his green eyes met hers. She hoped that he knew how much she cared for him and how much she did believe in him. Sansa pulled herself up, and kissed him, wrapping her legs around his waist, unable to wait any longer to feel him inside her.

He knew what she wanted and swiftly pushed into her. Sansa gasped and arched her back, pushing her breasts against his chest as he continued thrusting into her. There was a desperation to their lovemaking that had never before existed between them. They both knew it would be some time before they were together again in that way. She gripped his bottom, pulling him closer to her and deeper inside her. Sansa felt him smirk against her neck as his hips began snapping against her harder and faster, giving her what she wanted.

"Easy, Sansa," he said with a chuckle as she moved against him just as frantically. "We have all night…and a few more days until the next dawn." He sat up, holding her on his lap and letting her control their pace, no doubt enjoying the sight of her breasts bouncing in time with her movements, judging by the way his eyes were drawn there. Jaime lowered his mouth to her nipples, sucking one into his mouth and lightly raking his teeth over it. The slight pain felt good and Sansa rolled her head back and moaned, continuing to wantonly ride his manhood. "There's plenty of time to show me how much you'll miss me," he murmured against her skin as he licked at the sweat beading between her breasts.

She tipped his chin up with her finger, resting her forehead against his. "I'll miss you every moment you are gone." She covered his mouth with her own, kissing him deeply and passionately, her tongue dueling with his as she continued rocking back and forth on his lap.

She felt as if she couldn't possibly be close enough to him and felt the bed against her back again. Jaime grabbed one of her legs and moved it over his shoulder, her other thigh wrapped tight around his waist as he moved above her. Sansa knew that Jaime's control was slipping away from him as his thrusts became more erratic and he began muttering a string of filthy words, as he sometimes did when he felt he was losing all restraint. She always pretended to be shocked, but truly, it excited her a bit to see how she was able to unmake him and take complete control of his body. Sansa felt herself beginning to peak, and wrapped her leg tighter around his waist, burying her face against his neck as she moaned that she loved him.

"Sansa…Sansa." He began panting her name and she echoed his own name back, holding him tight until he drew back, arching over her and almost roaring with ecstasy as he came, his seed filling her. They remained joined, Jaime's eyes clouded with lust, as she stroked back his hair, damp with sweat. She felt a pleasant chill as her body began to cool. He was still panting as she gently stroked his face, pulling him down for another kiss. He withdrew from her then, though he continued kissing her until he finally rolled onto his back, a satisfied smile on his face.

"You seem to have forgotten yourself, my lady," he began, mischief in his voice. "We're lucky you didn't wake the babe with your carrying on." She felt her face heat, knowing he was right that she had not thought of anything but making love to her husband, and heard him chuckle softly as he turned onto his side to face her. "Don't think I'm complaining…I almost think that I should go off to battle more often if this is the farewell I get."

He softly trailed his fingers over her neck and breasts and down to her hip. Jaime kissed her and Sansa wrapped her arms around his neck as he tried to move away, holding him against her. "I love you, Jaime," she whispered. "And if anyone can conquer the White Walkers…it is you."

He felt him hold her, kissing her cheek. "I love you, too, sweet girl." He reached for the furs, pulling them over the lower half of their bodies. Sansa closed her eyes, her head on Jaime's chest. As she fell asleep, she silently prayed to the Warrior to look over Jaime and bring him safely back to her.

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Next Chapter: Jaime and his men leave Casterly Rock