Chapter 65

…

"We need 5000 food packs, one for each man to carry, and then enough supplies to fill the wagon," Sansa said, sending kitchen maids scurrying. "We only have until the dawn, and this must be finished."

Once Sansa accepted that Jaime was going to lead his men into battle, she had thrown herself into organizing the preparations - giving the staff orders to ensure that Jaime and each of his men had sufficient supplies of dried meats, bread and fruits to eat; that their flagons were filled with water and wine; and that all had adequate furs to withstand the cold, as well as flint to make fires. Her mother and Roslin were helping as well, though Sansa could see that Roslin was just as apprehensive as she was about Edmure leaving to battle the White Walkers. There was a sadness in her eyes that Sansa had not seen since she and Edmure had reunited.

Sansa had been working almost non-stop to prepare everything Jaime and his soldiers needed before they set off for battle, frequently with Julianna on her hip. The only time she stopped working on the preparations was at night, when she would spend every moment with Jaime. There wasn't a whole lot that she could do to ensure that Jaime was safe, but she could make certain that he had what he needed to keep himself alive and strong for his battle. She could ensure that Jaime would not freeze or starve.

She had spoken with Hot Pie in the kitchens the day earlier, wanting him to bake extra bread, so that the men could take that with them as well. He had misunderstood her at first, and utter terror overtook his face, thinking Sansa intended for him to accompany the men into battle as their cook. Once she assured him he would remain at Casterly Rock, the poor boy had dropped to his knees and sobbed into her skirts in gratitude.

She understood his fear. It's how she felt about Jaime going after the White Walkers. Sansa tried to reassure herself that Jaime was strong and a good fighter, and that he would prevail. He had tried to comfort her as well, but she still felt terrible fear whenever she thought about her husband leaving her and pursuing the Others. She knew there was a real possibility of his being badly hurt or killed – though she tried not to think about it.

"This is quite impressive, what you've put together here," her Uncle Edmure said as he strolled into the dining room and interrupted her thoughts.

Sansa glanced up from what she was doing for a moment and smiled. "It's the least I can do for all of you. I'm not risking my life."

"Nor should you. Your husband would not wish for you to be in danger."

"And I believe Roslin would not wish for you to be in danger. She'd prefer it if you stayed behind at the Rock."

Edmure nodded. "She would prefer that. Probably as much as you would like Jaime to remain behind. You understand, Sansa, that we must do this in order to protect both of you, as well as our daughters. Though, I expect your husband wishes to save the Realm, as well. As I recall, he always had a desire to be a famous warrior."

Sansa smiled. "And you don't?"

Edmure sighed, leaning against the chair in front of him as Sansa continued working. "I was never…ambitious. Never wished to be knighted. Never dreamed of rescuing a fair maiden. I always knew I would one day be Lord of Riverrun, so there was no reason to excel at life. No reason to try to make my own way. That's where your husband and I differ. Perhaps now that I have a wife and a child…it's time I considered someone other than myself."

"Jaime tells me that the Northern lords are going into battle as well," she began hesitantly.

"Yes."

Sansa looked up at Edmure, focusing all of her attention on her uncle. "They won't – They won't hurt him will they? I mean…they won't be shackled and they'll be given weapons and I know how they feel about Jaime. I know they blame him for Robb and being taken prisoner…I've heard what they say to him."

"They won't hurt your husband."

"How do you know?"

"These are honorable men, Sansa. They hate Jaime, that's true, but they made an agreement – a promise. They love the Realm more than they hate him. They know that working with Jaime against the White Walkers is the best way to defeat them. They don't wish for everyone to die. You know the legend, Sansa. The First Men and the Children of the Forest put aside their differences to battle side by side to defeat the White Walkers when they first appeared all those years ago. Jaime and the Northerners are putting the war aside for now."

Sansa nodded, though she wasn't completely reassured. "You won't let anything happen to him, will you?" she asked, wiping away her tears. "Please, Uncle. I know that you're angry with him too, but…please don't let anyone hurt him. I couldn't bear to lose him."

Edmure walked over and put his arm around her. "Don't cry, Sansa…you look so like Cat did when she was your age. When…when Brandon was killed."

Her mother had never spoken to her about her first love. Brandon Stark. The brother of the man she would marry in the end. Sansa always wondered how her mother felt about marrying the brother of her betrothed, but she'd never had the courage to ask. "Did she love him very much?"

Edmure nodded. "I saw the pain his death caused her, Sansa. I'd never allow that to happen to you, if it could be prevented. You've suffered enough. You have my word, Sansa. If it's within my power, your husband will return to you."

"Thank you," she whispered.

…

The forge was busier than Jaime had ever seen it in all his seven and thirty years. For the past two days, there had been no less than twenty men working around the clock, in twelve hour shifts.

Jaime looked through the various weapons that had been made in the past two days. With the input of the Northern lords, much more than mere daggers and arrowheads had been made from the dragonglass. More daggers and arrow heads had been made, as well as quarrels for crossbows; lances with dragonglass tips, designed to spear any of the White Walkers from horseback; several fine swords with dragonglass blades sandwiched between the steel; and a few more exotic weapons such as catapults and flame throwers, designed to utilize fire when battling the wights.

From the looks of it, Jaime thought his best bet, with only one hand, would be to use the sword or the dagger. Jaime again cursed his missing hand. He had hoped to be able to battle the White Walkers from a distance, but it seemed having one hand would not allow that. Though, he supposed, he'd never been one to battle from afar.

"Gendry, what's that you have there?" The boy was holding what appeared to be a war hammer, though the hammerhead itself was spiked with dragonglass. Fitting that Robert Baratheon's bastard would make himself a war hammer. I wonder if the boy knows anything of the identity of his sire.

"Lord Manderly suggested it. He said that King Robert had beaten the Targaryens with a war hammer, so it should succeed against the White Walkers. Lord Lannister," he began hesitantly. "Might I go with you into battle?"

Jaime met the boy's clear blue eyes, and saw only an earnest desire to help the Realm. He didn't see the bloodlust of a warrior, and as far as he knew, the boy had no experience killing. "Why would you want to do that? Why would you want to risk death?"

"All of you are fighting for the lives of the Realm. I don't wish to wait here, not knowing what's going on. Not helping, as all men who are able should. I've only ever wanted to be a smith but…everyone will die if you don't win. I feel…it's my duty to join the battle."

Jaime considered the boy, wondering if it would be best to leave him behind with Sansa and Arya, as he had planned to. He'd come to trust the boy, at least so far as the safety of his wife was concerned. "Have you ever fought before? In a fight to the death?"

The boy shook his head. "No, Lord Lannister, but I've been watching your men practice and…they've let me practice with them sometimes. I'm not very skilled with a blade but…I believe that I could be of use to you. If for nothing more than another pair of eyes, to spot the White Walkers before they are upon you."

That's not a bad thought. We will need as much notice as possible to prepare – both mentally and physically – to do battle with the White Walkers. We could use several look-outs. "You'll ride with me, Gendry. I'm at a bit of a disadvantage," he said, looking at his golden hand self-consciously. He'd been hurt when Sansa had implied that his missing hand was a reason to stay out of the battle, but he couldn't deny that it would make it more difficult for him. "I could use your help."

Gendry merely nodded, though Jaime had learned that the boy was not one to display emotion. He'd praised him previously for all of his work making the dragonglass weaponry, and the boy had seemed embarrassed. Jaime had decided he was more the type to do his work without expecting recognition for it. "Lady Arya still hopes to accompany you and serve as your squire. She talks of nothing else."

Jaime chuckled. "She is quite determined. She has no doubt that she'll grow up to be a knight. Perhaps she will…"

Gendry smiled and put down the war hammer. "They are very different…she and Lady Lannister. I'd never have thought that Lady Arya was raised as she was…in a castle. Nor that she had a sister such as your lady wife."

"I'd not have thought Sansa had a sister quite like Arya. Siblings are sometimes rather different." Jaime couldn't help thinking about Tyrion and how different they were. He missed his brother. His little brother had been his friend and companion for so long and it hurt Jaime to know that he hated him now. He felt as if he had lost a piece of his identity. It seemed as if those he'd relied on his whole life were all gone: his father, Cersei, Tyrion. It was no wonder that Sansa had become his whole world.

"You should keep the war hammer – I think that might be a good weapon for you to use." Especially if Robert Baratheon is your father. Jaime wondered if he should tell Gendry his suspicions as to the identity of his father. Perhaps after we return from the battle.

…

The dawn came far too soon. He suspected the day for his departure had arrived when he awoke alone in bed and saw Sansa at the window, almost completely hidden by the curtains.

"Come back to bed, sweet girl."

They had made the most of the little time they had together before he left. The both of them spent most of their waking hours preparing for the departure of Jaime and his soldiers. Though once they retired to their rooms, Jaime would hold Julianna until she fell asleep and then make love to Sansa, promising to return to her. She would lie in his arms afterward, holding tight to his body until they were forced to awaken and leave their bed. He knew if she out of their bed so early it was for good reason. There were tears glistening in her eyes when she returned to their bed and he knew.

"The sun rises?"

Sansa nodded, resting her head against his chest. "You'll leave today."

Jaime stroked her back and kissed the top of her head. He was proud of how brave she had been the past few days. She's so young, despite being a wife and mother. And my darling girl has lost so much. I can't allow her to suffer another loss. I must return to her.

She had organized so much of the preparations for him and his men all on her own. Sansa had more than proven herself worthy of being Lady of the Rock. Many of his soldiers had remarked to him about their admiration for Lady Lannister. Now, as the time for his departure drew near, he could hear in Sansa's voice that she was trying to be strong for him. "Don't be scared, Sansa. The sooner we leave, the sooner that I can return to you."

She reached up and touched his cheek, kissing him gently. He was surprised when she almost immediately pulled away from him and got back out of their bed, but when she approached the bassinette, he understood. She wants to be certain I have time with the babe. She returned with their little girl cradled in her arms and crawled back into bed, snuggling against him and putting Julianna on his chest.

"You should hold her as much as you can, before it's time for you to leave," Sansa whispered, kissing his cheek and sharing the space against his chest with their babe. Julianna was just waking, and fighting it from the way she rubbed her face against Jaime's chest. He held her with his good hand and wrapped the other around Sansa. There was a part of him that never wanted to leave that bed. A part of him that wished for nothing more than to hold his girls in his arms and cuddle and kiss them and bask in their affection.

You're doing this for them. You're doing this for Sansa and so the Realm is safe. So Julianna can grow up. It was the thought of the terror the White Walkers would cause the Realm, should they wander unchecked for the duration of Winter that spurred him on in his determination to lead his men into the war. If they weren't stopped, most of Westeros would be dead before the Spring.

Jaime and Sansa broke their fast in their chambers, with little Tommen joining them, before preparing for the departure of thousands of Lannister soldiers. Sansa helped Jaime put on his armor, and he couldn't keep the smirk off his face as her eyes glittered in excitement, despite herself, when she'd finished. Though she tried to hide it – tried to pretend that she no longer believed in songs or the romance of knights and ladies – he knew that she did. Jaime knew that she still wanted to believe.

He had already been in King's Landing when his father had departed Casterly Rock to march on the capitol for the Sack, but Jaime imagined that his father's farewell was more spectacular. Lord Tywin did have a taste for the grand, when it would bolster the Lannister name. They didn't have time for spectacle now. This was a somber occasion.

All of Casterly Rock was lined up in the Great Hall to see Jaime and his men off – be they the many soldiers who would remain to guard Sansa and the keep; the kitchen staff; or the chambermaids. Many of his soldiers were married to women on the staff. Or merely lovers to women on the staff, so Sansa and Lady Roslin were not the only women with tears glistening in their eyes as they sent their loves off to battle.

"It's time," Jaime said, letting everyone know to say their final farewells. Jaime knelt down and embraced Tommen, who hugged him tightly.

"I love you, Uncle Jaime."

"Be a good boy, all right?"

Tommen nodded against his shoulder, clutching him tighter and beginning to cry.

"Don't cry. I need you to be brave. You'll look after Sansa and Julianna for me, like we talked about, won't you?" The boy nodded again, wiping his eyes. I may never see him again, Jaime thought as his son clung to him. "I love you too, Tommen," he whispered, kissing the top of his head. The boy finally released him, sniffling and wiping his eyes. Jaime stood and Tommen leaned against Sansa, while Jaime took Julianna from her arms. He had already held her most of the morning and spoken to the babe quietly, hoping that she somehow understood his words of love and his wishes for her future.

After briefly holding her against his chest and kissing her cheek, he handed Julianna back to Sansa, who passed her to Pia, also giving Tommen's hand to the girl. He knew Sansa intended to walk with Jaime and his men down the long path to the Lion's Mouth.

Jaime saw that Arya was standing beside her sister, waiting for her chance to say farewell. "Are you certain I can't go with you?" she asked. "I'm not afraid." He saw that she was wearing her heaviest cloak and had her sword at her waist. Just in case I change my mind about needing her to squire, no doubt.

"Perhaps next time," he said. "I need you to stay here and help protect your sister." The girl pulled him into a hug, and Jaime caught Lady Stark's eye over the child's shoulder. He knew she must hate that both his daughters had such affection for him. He certainly never imagined caring for Ned Stark's daughters as he did. He let her go, watching as she walked over to say goodbye to Gendry.

"You'll help Jaime, since I can't go with him?"

Gendry smiled and ruffled her hair. "Aye, I'll help him."

"Be careful," she murmured quietly.

"Would you miss me if I never returned?"

She nodded, not meeting his eyes, and Jaime smiled to himself. He wondered if young Gendry realized that the little girl had a crush on him. It was quite obvious to both Jaime and Sansa. He glanced over at Lady Stark and saw that it was clear to her as well.

He knew that Lady Stark had spoken to Sansa about his leaving for battle, and that whatever she had said to her had comforted his wife. Lady Stark's words had given her the strength to be brave. Jaime wanted to thank her for helping Sansa, but he knew the woman would just as soon spit in his face as accept his thanks. I should try. For Sansa's sake.

"Lady Stark," he began quietly. He almost changed course, seeing the anger in her gaze, but he forced himself to continue. "Thank you for…supporting Sansa. This has not been easy for her. I know you have no use for me but…should I not return, I'd ask you to make sure that Sansa is able to go on. She's very young and…she has her whole life ahead of her, with or without me."

Her expression did not soften, but she looked at him. "She loves you far more than you deserve."

"I'm well aware of that fact. Perhaps…perhaps one day I will be worthy of her. Perhaps one day I'll be able to make up for the past."

He walked away from Catelyn before either of them said something they would regret, and he took Sansa's hand, walking with her out of the Great Hall, and down the long walkway leading to the Lion's Mouth. He saw that Lady Stark would not be joining them at the gate, having already embraced her brother Edmure and taken the baby from Roslin's arms. As they began to leave, he saw that Tommen moved forward as if to follow, but Lady Stark took his hand and spoke some words Jaime could not hear. Whatever she said had the desired effect and Tommen remained there, beside Arya.

They reached the Lion's Mouth, and he felt Sansa's hand tighten on his, as if she would not let him go. "This is goodbye, Sansa. Until I return."

She nodded, lifting herself up on her tiptoes and wrapping her arms around his neck. "Please be safe, Jaime. Please be safe and come back to me as soon as you are able."

"I promise you."

Sansa reached into the pocket of her cape and withdrew a small white handkerchief. He recognized it. It was the first one she had made for herself with a lion on it. Jaime had been surprised when she had made it all those months ago, never believing that she would identify with the sigil of his house. And she had said that as long as it was his house, it would be hers as well.

She loosened his armor a bit and slipped her hand beneath, tucking it inside the layers of leather covering his heart. "I added a wolf…to remind you of me and…I stitched…Julianna and Tommen's names…so you'll know they are thinking of you…" She began to cry then, tears flowing freely down her cheeks as she blindly fixed his armor back as it had been and pulled his heavy cloak closed.

He wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Are you giving me your favor, my lady?"

She nodded, sniffling. "I always…I always imagined how this would be…sending my knight into battle. I would give him my favor and he would kiss my hand and I would watch him ride away. It seemed so romantic…I suppose perhaps it is as long as you return."

He smiled and took her in his arms, kissing the top of her head. "I love you, sweet girl. I love you so much."

He wasn't certain what he was supposed to say to her. He had never had a tearful farewell like this before. He had never had a woman to see him off into battle before. He'd never admit it, but a part of him had always been a bit jealous as he watched the men around him with women in their arms, tucking favors into their pockets. But Jaime had always been alone. He had always simply waited impatiently for the farewells to end, so the fighting could begin.

"Sansa?" he said, rubbing her shoulder. "I – I've never loved anyone as I love you. I mean that."

"I love you, too, Jaime." She looked up at him with her watery blue eyes and pulled him down for a kiss. "Come back to me," she whispered against his mouth.

"I will," he said, holding her tighter. "Surely you can do better than that kiss…your sending me to fight for the life of the Realm, Sansa." He deliberately did not say this could be their last kiss, but she seemed to know that's what he meant.

She looked around, seeing how many people were there, though none of them were aware of anything outside of their own farewells. She evidently decided this was no time for propriety, because Sansa wrapped her arms around his neck again, and covered his lips with her own, kissing him long and deep. Jaime savored every moment that he held her in his arms. Every moment that her mouth was on his. Once she broke their passionate kiss, Jaime held her tightly and lifted her off her feet, burying his face against her neck and breathing in her sweet smell.

"We have to go," he whispered and she nodded as he placed her back on the ground. He took her hand and kissed it, a soft smile on his face. Jaime found it difficult to release her hand and stared at her for a long moment, memorizing her beautiful face, before Jaime forced himself to release her and call for his men to leave.

Sansa took Lady Roslin's arm, and the ladies stepped to the side, out of the way of the horses. The both of them had tears in their eyes, and Jaime watched his wife as the gates were raised. Jaime nodded to his men and they began walking their horses forward. Jaime rode with Edmure, Gendry and Ser Addam. The Northerners were spread out amongst his soldiers, just in case they decided to band together and turn on the Lannisters, though he didn't really believe they would.

He felt Sansa's eyes on him as he rode away and knew she would not leave the Lion's Mouth until she could no longer see him. He forced himself to push his sweet little wife from his mind and focus on the task at hand. So he could come back to her.

…

I hope that lived up to your expectations for Jaime & Sansa's farewell.

Next chapter: Jaime and his men battle the White Walkers