Fear was something that he had become accustomed too. It had become his state of normalcy. The others were the same. They may have put on brave faces, masking their true feelings, but he knew they felt it too. The petals fell slowly, drifting lazily back and forth. They seemed to just drift away, and that was in someway tragic. He hated remembering. The sky was clear today, no clouds. His gaze once again turned upward. The rose was almost bare, just a few petals stuck to the green stem. He wanted more than anything to toss it off the wall, to rid himself of it forever, no matter how difficult. He couldn't.
He woke up. The sense of panic and dread dissipated as he realized where he was, but the fear still lingered. He still dreamt about it. He had put it to the back of his mind. Forgetting it would remove it from his life, like it never happened. But his dreams refused, they tortured him. He had no control. The small cot was stiff, and it smelled of sweat. He pulled off the thin blanket. It was early, the sun had yet to rise. He knew he would be outside in a few moments, there was no point in falling back to sleep. There was no point to put himself through any more of that agony.
Adam rose out of bed, and slipped on his shirt and uniform. The boots were high, reaching upwards to his knee. The jacket was short, it didn't quite reach his waist, but it had long sleeves and a high collar.
He began to see the others doing the same. Many felt a sense of camaraderie, a sense of union with each other. They had shared some experiences, been through the same horror. He often wondered why the others joined. There was something that had awoken in many of them, a fire. Maybe for revenge, to take back what they had lost. Maybe they wanted to protect their loved ones, or they had a sense of duty, that they wanted to protect all of mankind. A few of them had come from cities that were never attacked, or they had come from the capital. He hated them for it. They didn't need to be here, they didn't need to fight. Why would they just throw themselves into danger like this? It wasn't bravery, it was ignorance. They had never faced real danger, or real tragedy.
The silent veil that covered the room was shattered by a familiar shout. Every recruit stood up, standing tall. As the Officer walked in they placed their right fist over their heart, and their left arm behind their back, the customary salute. The Officer walked through the now standing ranks of soldiers. He was a stern man, tall, with a gray mustache and piercing eyes that seemed to observe all.
As he walked down the ranks, he examined every soldier's uniform to the slightest detail. The Officer would always find some error in every recruit. A uniform collar furled, a sleeve not straight enough, an untucked shirt underneath the tan jacket. A perfect posture was required. Muddied boots had been the downfall of many recruits. He himself had been chastised for his long, messy hair.
The Officer had reached him now. He examined him from head to toe, and stared into his eyes, as if searching them for some sort of error. The Officer stepped forward as if to say something, but after a slight pause stopped himself. The Officer gazed to the left, to the next cot. The slow, steady sound of quiet snoring was audible. The Officer motioned towards Adam and the other trainee in attention to the opposite side of the neighboring cot. They pulled the resting recruit from his bed, and onto the floor. The sleepy soldier let out a yelp, and stared upward first towards Adam, then towards the Officer. He was undressed, and not in uniform.
"It seems Mr. Kiefer prefers not to wear his uniform for our morning training run. I must say, I am thoroughly impressed. To run without boots must mean Mr. Kiefer must be in perfect physical condition. Today he will run the trail twice to demonstrate this, without his uniform, as he seems to prefer."
The Officer spoke in a low, but commanding voice. Leon Kiefer stood up into attention, shaking. Whether he was nervous or simply freezing, Adam could not tell.
"You other recruits need to learn from Mr. Kiefer. You two," the Officer said as he pointed towards Adam and the recruit that had helped him pull poor Leon from his warm cot. "You will be joining him on his second run,"
Leon glanced at the two others apologetically, but Adam looked straight, maintaining his attention.
The run had been hard enough the first time. They sloshed through the mud, pushing through to finish the second lap. They could not stop or falter, or they would be assigned the same task once again. Adam kept up his pace, his eyes focused forwards. Behind him the other unfortunate recruit, a girl with dark brown hair and intense green eyes followed close behind. Adam heard in the distance the heavy panting of Leon, through the sound of his teeth chattering together. He was still in his undershirt, without boots. The Officer had graciously allowed him to put on a pair of pants. He was covered in mud, from his bare feet to his short blond hair, having had fallen twice. The first lap he had spent apologizing to the recruits that shared his punishment, but after a short time their silence answered him.
The sun would be rising soon, and Adam feared that he would miss breakfast, and he needed the strength. Breakfast was the one thing that kept him here. The work was grueling, and the thought of facing those things was something he was not too excited for, but there was food. Then again, this was the only place for him now.
As Adam trudged down the path, his heavy breath turning to mist, he heard a thunk. He stopped, and looked over his shoulder. Leon lay on the ground, his chest heaving up and down. The girl had also stopped. Leon tried to push himself up, his hands slipped in the muck. He fell to the ground once again, defeated. The female recruit moved towards Leon, and attempted to pull him up. Adam reluctantly followed, and together they pulled the exhausted and filthy trainee to his feet.
Leon looked at Adam gratefully, and began to open his mouth as if to say an apology, but he did not speak.
"If you give up, we will be assigned another lap," Adam said, as he let go him.
They continued their run, Leon stumbling forward, but keeping pace. He did not fall again.
When they arrived to eat, the others had already finished. Adam received his ration of bread, and sat down at the opposite end of a table near the window, with a clear view of the outside. It was in the corner, well away from the center of the room. The sun had come up, but the blue sky was dotted with grey clouds. It would rain tonight.
He someone approaching, and was faced with the girl who had shared in his punishment. She said nothing, but sat down and ate. Through her dark brown hair she stared at him curiously with those vibrant green eyes. There was something familiar about her, but Adam avoided her gaze. It was better to grow close to others, they would only bring him grief. But still, he felt oddly close to her, perhaps just because they were in a similar situation. No, it was something else.
Adam heard the creaking of another chair, and another newcomer sat at his secluded table. His hair once was again blond, having washed the mud from it. He nervously shifted in his seat, then looked Adam in the eye, and said, "I… I would like to thank you… and apologize. I'm sorry, it was unfair for you to be assigned another lap."
Adam stared back at him for a moment, but did not immediately respond. He turned his gaze once again outside, and looked towards the sky. The three ate in silence for a short while, the only sound breaking the silence was the rustling of leaves outside the window. The room was empty, save for them.
"I only helped you because we would have been forced to run the lap again if you failed. I didn't do it for your benefit," Adam said hollowly.
Leon sighed, but looked relieved to have received any answer at all. He rose from his chair, and looked as if he would have said something else, but sighed walked away and out the door. The girl sitting across from Adam looked up from her food.
"You didn't need to be so… harsh," she said distantly.
"It was the truth."
The girl looked disappointed, and in a way sad. A grey cloud had passed over the sun, and for a moment the warm light stopped pouring in from the window.
"You… you were there, weren't you. In Shiganshina," she said, looking down at her food. She spoke softly, as if she was afraid her words would shatter Adam as if he was made of ice. Her dark brown hair covered her face. Adam put down his bread, and they once again sat in silence.
"How did you know."
"You can see it. In… in their eyes. In your eyes. You can see the difference. Like they haven't been able to sleep, like they are just shuffling forward. Just, empty. Hollowed, from something so terrible"
Adam began to wish for the sun to return from behind the grey clouds. He replied, his voice shaky,"It was the first attack… Nobody… Nobody expected it. So many lives were lost."
"Did you lose anyone?" she asked.
Adam sat in silence, and stared out the window. The sun was still blocked away, hidden behind the clouds. The sky seemed so empty without it, its light blue color replaced with an icy window faced towards the forest, and a slight breeze pushed through it.
"I-I'm sorry… That was rude of me to-."
"No. No, I didn't lose anybody."
The girl looked up at Adam, and brushed away her dark brown hair. Her intense green eyes met his, and he could see sorrow in them. She rose out of her chair.
She rose up out of her chair, and looked down on Adam. "We should get going. Training for the maneuvering gear starts soon, and we can't be late."
"I'll wait a bit," Adam said, his eyes fixated towards the forest through the window.
The girl walked to the door and opened it. It created a familiar creaking noise as it brushed up against a loose floorboard. The sun once again began casting light through the blue sky, and shone brilliantly through the doorway. She walked halfway out, and then stopped. Looking over her shoulder, she asked Adam a question.
"You don't remember me, do you?"
Adam looked at her, and for the first time noticed her tired eyes. They were a vibrant green, Adam could see the reflection of sunlight against them, but looked as if they had seen too much. Despite the green irises, they were in a way blue.
"No."
As Adam sat alone at the table, he stared outside. There was something strange about the forest. In a moment it would be so still, as if it were made of ice. Yet, in the next it would shift and move, full of life. All the flora seemed to be in motion every time the wind pushed through. The branches of the trees swayed, the viridescent leaves perilously clinging on. Near the roots of these trees were three motionless crimson flowers, the wind blocked by the wall created by the dark brown trunk of the great trees. What Adam noticed most of all was the vibrant green leaves that reflected the sunlight near the top of the trees. They were so beautiful, silhouetted against the blue sky.
The hiss of the small mechanics broke through the air, and the hooks flew forward, digging deep into the oak. Gas escaped from the back of the maneuvering gear, and the instructor flew forward. She landed on a branch of the tree, her feet firmly planted. The trainees nervously looked on. Despite his hours of practice, Adam still felt better on the ground than in the sky. Adam preferred the loud blast of cannon fire coupled with the smell of gunpowder to a flight through the trees in the forest any day. He glanced at the others. Leon appeared to be listening attentively, and the green eyed girl seemed to be staring off into the forest.
"Today will be an assessment of the skills you have developed. Each of you will be split into teams of three. Each team will be graded based on the accuracy of their strikes, depth of the cuts, and speed of the trial. In the woods behind me are six targets: three at five meters, two at ten meters, and one at fifteen meters. In the field, you would be encountering the enemy at heights far more than this."
The Officer stood tall, shouting the directions to the recruits. Every so often he would stare at one of the more nervous looking trainees, and seemed to enjoy doing so. Every session was like this. The Officer would shout an order or direction, and the red-haired instructor would demonstrate it. The instructor herself was a student, but seemed to have a natural talent for using the maneuvering gear. She was the type that would be given a role in the Military Police.
"Each target has a red colored strike zone at the nape of the neck. Each team will be required to make three strikes on each of the zones for each target, one mark for each trainee. Failure to do this will result in a loss of points. Any points lost will be met with extra maneuvering gear drills tonight, while the rest of the trainees eat dinner."
"Each strike will be measured, meaning teams will be given points based on the depth of the strike, and the closeness to the center of the red strike zone. Any cuts made outside the strike zone will be considered a miss."
The Officer motioned towards the instructor in the tree. She swooped down from the branch, and flew towards a large target a little ways into the forest. It was about five meters tall, made of wood, and shaped like one of those horrible creatures. At the base of its neck was a red painted circular section. The instructor flew towards it, her hooks pulling her faster towards the target as they dug into branch and bark. As she passed the target, she pulled a blade from the sheath that was connected to the gear. She brought the blade through the red portion, creating a clean slice straight through it. A chip of wood flew into the air, and was lost in the leaves below.
"Now, your teams have been prepared for you already. Each group will be announced before entering the course."
The Officer looked onward towards the group, his eyes fixated on Leon. They seemed to light up for a moment.
"Well, I believe the first team was created this morning. You three," the Officer rumbled as he pointed towards Leon and his fellow runners, "Your group will be tested in the course first."
The Officer stood tall, cleared his throat, and yelled in an official and booming voice, "Team A! Leon Kiefer! Adam Kerner! Clara Maurer!"