This is my first time uploading from my tablet, so please forgive me if I made mistakes.

As always thank you for the follows and favourites.

Chapter 4 - Scars

Pale moonlight filtered into the small inn's room. Even though it was designed for only two, three were occupying the small place. There were two beds along with a long couch where even a third person could sleep if needed.

On one of the beds, that was pushed against the wall, laid a shaggy, light brown haired young man. He was the only one who slept peacefully.

In the other bed, a decade younger teenager laid, silently watching the elder with a sad and exhausted expression.

"Go to sleep already, Beansprout." Mercury irises snapped at the third person, sitting in the couch.

"I can't." the boy whispered so as not to awaken their slumbering companion.

"Can't or won't?" the other countered.

The white-haired teen sighed. "Kanda-"

"Don't." Kanda cut in, not wanting to hear his excuse. "You're wounded. So sleep."

Easier said than done, but he really didn't feel like arguing right now. Kanda was right, he felt drained after today's (or yesterday's since it was way past midnight) events. This once, Kanda caught up on his unease and sighed.

"Look, what happened... is none of your fault."

"I almost killed him." the boy whispered fearfully.

"That wasn't you." the Japanese pressed.

Allen shook his head, trying to keep his tears at bay. It didn't matter if he was conscious or not, the blood would be on his hands. He wanted to turn on his side and curl up into a ball and hide himself from the world. If not for those wretched ropes that prevented him from escaping he would have done so. "But what if it happens again?" he asked in an uncharacteristically small voice, not meeting Kanda's eyes. "What if this time as I go to sleep I won't wake up ever?"

Allen was certain that the other would be unable to answer, the same way he did. So when he felt the bed creak under him he jerked as much as his restraints let him. Kanda was on all fours above him, his hands by the side of Allen's head. "Then I'll stop him." came the confident reply.

Allen frowned, anger and bitterness boiling in his veins. He really didn't understand why Kanda was still insisting on that promise, he already freed the Second Exorcist from that burden, yet he came back for him. And then Kanda even had the nerve to call him an idiot.

"Kanda-"

"Shut up." the Japanese growled. "This isn't just about you. I promised. And you know how much I despise those who go back on their vow. Don't make me hate myself any more than I do."

Allen snapped his mouth shut at the unexpectedly honest confession. Thank s to the Noah's meddling, he knew exactly what was Kanda thinking about. Allen knew everything about him, while Kanda still didn't know anything about him. While he was reluctant to expose the least of himself, knowing so intimate secrets about Kanda... it wasn't fair. He really couldn't reply to this one.

"I.. I just don't want you to suffer anymore. Please, just... forget it and let me be." He all but begged. It was agonizing to know that because of him Kanda would be - was - hurting more. But deep down, a selfish part of his was glad to have Kanda by his side. Even though his mouth said 'leave me alone', his heart ached with the yearning to say 'don't leave me, stay'.

Said person clicked his tongue in annoyance. "Idiot Beansprout." he whispered in a harsh tone, not wanting to wake Johnny up to this. This was only between the two of them. "Don't you get it that I don't want to die with regrets? And that I don't want you to die alone like the traitor the world believes you are? Fucking forget it."

"What does it matter?" Allen asked bitterly. "I'm going to die anyways. So please, just let me go. I don't want you to remember me like this." So weak and pathetic.

Allen saw that his words left Kanda conflicted. While he barely knew scraps of information about Allen, he completely understood Allen's fear of reliving memories that didn't belong to him - moreover ones that threatened to erase him. Also, the Japanese always had a strong sense of pride, so he could relate that Allen didn't want to seem vulnerable. As he shifted, his black bangs fell to cover his eyes from his view. "Look, I'm... I'm sorry."

Silver eyes widened at Kanda's soft voice. The swordsman was exposing a side of him he only showed to Alma before: the insecure child that realised how painful it was to be left behind. "I... did something horrible to you..." he whispered as his hand sought out the injury he inflicted. Every time he thought of it he felt revolted by himself. Just like Allen's grotesque scar - mental and physical and emotional - , his sins would never disappear either. He could never amend this sin. "I stole you of your future because of my hatred. I became the exact same as the people I despised. But even then... you saved me. You forgave me. But, even if you forgive me, I'll never be able to forgive myself. So at least I'm staying with you until the very end."

Allen only realised he was crying when Kanda raised his hand to wipe away his tears. His black hair pooled around them as he lowered his head until their foreheads were touching. He wanted to scream at Kanda to run, to save himself, to just leave him but no words came out of his mouth.

He was so happy. Just so happy... that he wasn't alone anymore.

"I won't leave. I don't want to die alone and you won't die alone, I won't let you." slim fingers intertwined with his blackened ones. "We're staying together until the end."

Let's die together - was the unsaid plea. Kanda didn't want to be alone either. "I promise. And this time I won't run." With that he leaned forward to seal his promise with a kiss.