...

The End

...

The blade slipped from between Axel's fingers, falling with a startling clang in the sink and shocking the redhead out of his reverie. He looked down at his forearms and swore silently, realizing that he'd done too much this time. His arms were riddled with shallow cuts, marring the skin to the point where you could hardly see anything beneath them. Sometimes he did little patterns, like small X's and plus signs. Sometimes he just dragged the razor as far as he could from top to bottom, always avoiding the one vein he knew he shouldn't cut.

He took a warm washcloth and draped it over his left arm, hissing a little at the pain but welcoming the heat to soothe his skin. When he switched it to his right arm, he heard the faint sound of Roxas standing up.

The blond was still in a catatonic state, but he'd at the very least been getting up to use the restroom on his own every so often. It had been a week since Vanitas died, and Roxas still hadn't said a word.

Axel panicked, knowing that his boyfriend was heading for the bathroom. He quickly stashed his razor blades back in their little leather case under the sink and yanked the sleeves of his hoodie down over his arms, the fabric tugging across the raised scars and fresh wounds painfully.

"Sorry, Rox, I'll get out of your way..." Axel brushed past him quickly, feeling a drop of blood starting to drip down towards his wrist. He'd gone a little too deep with that last cut, but not enough to really hurt himself.

But Axel's ears perked up as he heard a loud yelp from the bathroom.

"Roxas, are you-?!"

His words were cut off by Roxas storming out of the bathroom and violently yanking Axel's sleeve up. "What the fuck are you doing?!"

It had been so long since he'd heard Roxas' voice that the sudden outburst shocked him into silence. His green eyes lowered slowly to meet the terror-filled blues of his boyfriend, but he didn't know what to say.

"Answer me," Roxas demanded, pushing up the other sleeve and gasping in horror at the marred flesh. "Are you trying to kill yourself?"

"W...what?! No!" Axel exclaimed, pulling his arms away, "No, Roxas, I'm not trying to kill myself. I just...I like how it feels."

Roxas lost it, reaching up and smacking Axel across the face as hard as he could manage, "How could you? How the fuck could you do this?!"

Axel squeaked like a kicked puppy as Roxas hit him, his hand flying up to put pressure on his stinging cheek, "Roxas..."

"I can't lose you," Roxas told him, tears springing up in his eyes, "Do you hear me?! I can't lose you, Axel!"

"I'm always careful, Rox... I'm not trying to do any real damage..." his voice was hushed and full of shame.

The blond grabbed his wrist and held his arm up in front of his face for him to see, "You don't see this as damage?! Huh?! Look at what you did to yourself! You think Xigbar is ever going to take you back looking like this?! You just fucked away your career!"

"They'll fade, Rox... He'll hire me back..."

"Look at yourself, Axel. This isn't going away any time soon. You've cut over the same areas multiple times! Your skin is never going to look normal again!" he informed him, his stomach turning at the sight of it. "How could you do this to yourself...?"

Axel could feel his own eyes welling up with tears as he flung his arms around the shorter man and begged for his forgiveness, "I couldn't help it, Roxas... I was so scared without you..."

Roxas moved them to sit down on the edge of the bed, sighing heavily, "This is my fault... I shouldn't have completely shut down on you like I did..."

"You lost somebody very important to you, Roxas. I can't be mad at you for reacting to that..."

"I was ignoring you when you needed help... I should have noticed this a week ago and put a stop to it," he kicked himself inwardly for that.

Axel looked into his eyes, "I'm so glad I have you back... I didn't know what to do without you, Roxas."

"I don't know wht happened to me, Axel. When Ventus told me what happened I just...I couldn't figure out how to live in a world without Vanitas."

"Have you figured it out now?" Axel wondered, his venom-green eyes searching Roxas'.

The blond stared back at him, feeling his heart thumping against his chest, "No... But I'll figure it out as long as I have you in my life."

Axel opened his mouth to say something, but Roxas put a finger over his mouth to shush him.

"Which means," he continued, "That you're going back to therapy with Aerith. I'm calling her today to set up an appointment."

"Fair enough," Axel conceded, knowing that a few sessions with Aerith would do him some good. "But you need to start seeing her too. We'll go at different times, and we don't have to discuss anything you talk about with her, but you need someone to talk to about Vanitas."

Roxas nodded, "Okay... You're right. I'll get us both appointments."

Axel smiled and let out a sigh of relief, "God, Rox, I was so terrified that you were never going to come back to me..."

"I'm back, Axel, and I promise I won't leave you again," he finally allowed himself to smile, "I love you... And I'm sorry."

"I love you too, Roxas," he mumbled, leaning down to steal a kiss from his chapped pink lips.

They were going to be okay.

...

"Hey, I have a question for you, Roxy," Axel looked at his boyfriend across the dinner table, "How did you know I was cutting?"

Roxas narrowed his eyes on the elder, scoffing a little, "You left a blood-soaked washcloth in the bathroom sink."

"Oh... I must have forgotten to hide it..." he mumbled, looking down at his plate shamefully.

"My heart nearly stopped when I saw that, Axel... It brought me back to reality so quick it made the room spin. I just really wish that I could have stopped it before it got this far..."

Axel shook his head, "No... It wasn't your fault. And anyways, I didn't mean to bring the mood back down. I guess I was just curious."

"Have you heard anything about Saix...?" Roxas asked, having almost forgotten about the entire ordeal in his funk.

"Right... Because you attacked him, they decided to mutually drop the charges. So you won't get in trouble for beating him up, and he won't get in trouble for destroying your truck. Basically, he's off scott free," Axel sneered, wishing that the justice system could have actually served a little justice.

Roxas looked up in shock, "Wait, seriously?! He still has that flash drive with all my stuff on it!"

That brought a smirk to the redhead's face, "Actually... Someone broke into his apartment while he was working and stole it... And maybe snapped his computer in half..."

"Good God, I love you," Roxas beamed happily, brightening up quite a bit.

"Anddd I might have also left Luxord a little surprise in his BMW in the form of a rather angry raccoon..."

That had the blond crossing the room and wrapping Axel up in a deep kiss, "Please tell me you hid and got a video of him finding it..."

"Of course I did!" Axel pulled out his phone and found the video he'd taken, glad that Roxas could finally laugh with him about it.

"Holy shit! He's going to need a tetnus shot after that... And maybe a rabies vaccine. Axel, how on Earth did you manage to catch a raccoon?"

He shrugged, "It lives in the back by the garbage cans. I offered it a sandwich and it crawled into a box."

"Ugh... I am so in love with you right now," Roxas purred, giving him another delicious kiss. Axel had really missed that over the past week.

"Well damn, baby. You've seriously turned your mood around. What gives?"

Roxas just smiled at him, "In my fog, I had a lot of time to think... So I thought about what Vanitas would want me to do when he was gone, and being a zombie wasn't it. And then when I saw that you were cutting, I figured it out. Vanitas would want me to help you. To love you. To be happy with you, and to enjoy every moment we have together. He wouldn't want me to put my life on hold just to think about what could have gone differently. Life happened the way it happened, and that's just how it was. I'm always going to miss him... Even just thinking about it makes my heart ache, because he left a permanent hole in my heart when he died... But he was my past. You are my present and you are my future, and I need to focus all of the positive energy that I can on us."

"I think he would be proud of you for figuring that out, Rox," Axel smiled softly, "And it's okay to miss him. I'd be worried if you didn't. But you're right... You can't stop living just because he did."

"Thank you for not running the other way when I freaked out..." Roxas mumbled, blushing slightly.

Axel pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose affectionately, "Thank you for not running the other way when you saw I was cutting."

"About that... How do you feel about finding a better and healthier source of pain to feed your addiction?" Roxas suggested, getting a devious look in his eyes.

The redhead raised an eyebrow, "What're you thinking, Roxy?"

...

Axel stood in front of the tattoo parlour with Roxas and swallowed heavily, "Uhm... Rox? I'm not sure if this is the best idea..."

"C'mon... You'll love it. It's the best addiction ever," he grinned, pulling his boyfriend through the front door. He'd start him out small, of course, but once you get one tattoo? You're done for.

...

The END.

...

A/N: Okay, so I had NO IDEA that this was going to be the last chapter until I came to the end and realized that I was literally all out of material. Done. I honestly don't know where else I could take this one, guys. And it felt like a good place to end. I'd resolved everything, and it just felt like the end to me.

This story was so insanely fun to write, and I actually feel like I might cry seeing it end... You guys have been absolutely and amazingly wonderful through all of the ups and downs of this crazy-ass fic. Thank you to everybody who faved, followed and reviewed.

Don't worry, I'm coming out with more updates to Puppet Master, Freedom and All for One very soon here. Keep an eye out!

Love you! Bye!

Simply Rexene