The next morning, Nezumi woke to the sound of voices
His eyes flew open. There were people outside, he could hear them talking. Men… with heavy footsteps.
Nezumi hissed.
Knights
Nezumi rolled over, shaking Shion's shoulder to wake him. When Shion blinked open his eyes and turned to look up at Nezumi, Nezumi put a finger to his lips.
"I saw him around here. Look, there's the fire pit. I'm telling you, he lives around here." one of the knights said. Nezumi was surprised.
His voice sounded familiar.
"Hey, look at this, I think this wall fell. It's laying on top of something."
"What?" more footsteps. "Men, lift the wall."
Nezumi's eyes widened.
He grabbed Shion and drug him to the side of the room, ducking behind the cupboard and holding a hand over Shion's mouth to keep him from speaking. The wall over the door began to creak and shift as the men outside tried lift it.
When it had been moved aside, warm light poured into the underground room. The color of morning. Shion blinked his eyes in the glare.
"Hello? Is anybody in there?" A deep male voice called. "Prince Shion?"
Shion's eyes widened.
He reached up and pulled Nezumi's hand away from his mouth. "It's one of my knights!" he told Nezumi in a hushed voice. "I have to see what they want."
"What if they want to kill you?" Nezumi demanded, his expression dark and angry. Shion shook his head.
"Not them. I trust them. Rikiga would have sent someone else if he wanted to kill me."
Nezumi glared. It seemed like a stupid risk. But he didn't stop Shion as he pushed away from him and clambered to his feet.
"I'm here," Shion called stepping into the square of light, and lifting his hand to shade his eyes.
When he looked up, he saw three knight standing around the cellar doors, staring down at him in surprise. Shion recognized one of them as the knight from the night before. He looked much more disheveled than the others. He must have met with the rest of them after they had arrived this morning.
They bowed their heads. "Your majesty."
"All that isn't necessary," Shion said with a flush, "I was disowned, remember?"
All the knights raised their heads and shared a look amongst themselves.
"Sir, would you mind stepping out of there for a moment, and having a talk with us?"
Shion's eyebrows drew together. He had a bad feeling in his stomach about this.
"What is it?" Shion asked carefully, tensing. "Just tell me."
The knights exchanged a look again.
"Your…." one of the knights began, watching for the reaction of the others. "…situation has changed. Your banishment has a been lifted."
"Lifted?" Shion demanded, feeling like he was going to pass out. "What are you talking about?"
All the knights looked at each other again, as if tempting the others to say something first. Finally, the one who was talking before continued.
"The king is dead, your majesty." the knight said finally. "He passed by illness the morning before this. Your mother is in charge of the kingdom now, and she has sent for you."
Shion felt like a rush of cold had worked it's way into his veins. He wasn't sure what his face looked like, or what he was supposed to say now. He felt as if he was slowly turning to stone on the spot. And if he waited long enough he would no longer be able move at all.
Suddenly someone was at his side.
"Leave," It was Nezumi's voice. He sounded tense, and dangerous. Shion couldn't see his face, but he didn't envy the knights who could.
"But we're supposed to bring him–,"
"We can handle getting to the palace on our own!" Nezumi snapped. "Now, Get. Out. Of. Here."
Shion felt like he had gone blind. He didn't remember seeing the knights leave, or seeing Nezumi standing beside him. He wasn't even sure how much time had passed before he felt Nezumi's hands on his neck, holding his head up, trying to get Shion to look at him.
"Shion?"
He heard Nezumi's voice as if it were filtering through water. He seemed so far away.
"Shion? Shion, Look at me, Shion!"
Shion wasn't sure how he did it, but suddenly he could see Nezumi's face, only a few inches from him, looking him intensely in the eyes.
"Shion, are you all right? Maybe you should sit down–,"
He started shaking his head.
Nezumi raised an eyebrow. "Well you don't have to, but–,"
Then Shion started shaking.
"H–he's– he's– h-he's." Shion couldn't get the words out around the shaking, and Nezumi's eyes widened as he realized the boy was probably going into shock.
"Shion…" Nezumi let out a breath, pulling the boy too him and crushing him into his chest as if he could steady the boy with the pressure. "Shion, you have to breath."
Shion's arms came up and wrapped around Nezumi in return, and that's when he started crying.
"I don't know why I feel like this." Shion sobbed, burying his face in Nezumi's shoulder. "He didn't even care about me."
Nezumi reached up and smoothed his hand over Shion's hair. "I don't know." Nezumi murmured softly. "But I'm here."
Shion's arms around Nezumi tightened. "Will you go back with me? To see my mom? I know I don't have any right to ask–,"
"I'll go." Nezumi promised, burying his fingers in Shion's hair. "Of course."
Shion nodded, "Thank you, Nezumi."
Nezumi nodded.
They didn't talk or move again for a long time.
They arrived at the palace the following morning. It had been a long journey. Shion had been quieter than usual, and he never let go of Nezumi's hand. Nezumi had this feeling that there was a fog of dread in the air, getting thicker with every step they took.
It was funny. This was what he had been expecting of their journey to the West District, but it hadn't been there. Shion had been calm then, but he wasn't anymore. All the strength seemed to be sapped from him with every mile they grew closer to his home.
"Something seems so wrong about this," Shion whispered at one point. "I was never supposed to come back."
"Is it a bad thing? "Nezumi asked, his voice cautious. "Don't you want to be able to go back?"
"Not like this," Shion replied, and Nezumi didn't ask anything more after that.
When they arrived there, a pair of knights lead them upstairs, back to Shion's old bedroom where they were told to wait until the Queen was ready to see them.
Nezumi was shocked to be back in this room. It didn't look like it had been touched since they left it. All the books on the shelves had been steadily gathering dust.
Shion sat on the bed, without looking at much of anything. He just took a breath, before laying back against the sheets and closing his eyes.
For a moment, Nezumi thought he was trying to go to sleep, but then Shion spoke.
"Nezumi?"
"Hmm?" Nezumi asked, looking at all the books one by one as if he were greeting old friends.
Shion's voice was soft. "Will you sing for me?"
Nezumi stilled.
"I…. You want me to?"
Shion nodded. "Please. I just… I want to hear your voice."
Nezumi cleared his throat. "All right…"
Nezumi turned to look at Shion, and took a deep breath.
Then he began to sing.
Shion smiled, like someone in pain finally getting relief.
He kept his eyes closed as he listened to Nezumi's voice, drifting on the air.
That's what it's like, Shion thought. Like bright gleaming snowflakes in a storm. Like Nezumi's voice is an element of nature.
When he had finished his song, Shion was crying. Silently, and with smile, but he was crying. He had to reach up and wipe the tears away with his fingers.
"Thank you," He whispered, his voice cracking lightly. "I think I could listen to you sing forever."
Nezumi smiled, "Sorry, your majesty. Some things are meant only to be fleeting pleasures."
Shion nodded, "Sometimes I think all beautiful things are fleeting." he said gently, like he was only breathing. "Maybe that's what makes them so beautiful though."
Nezumi didn't reply. He didn't know what else he could say, so he let silence fill the room. It was only there for a few moments, before a knock came at the door.
It was Nezumi who opened it.
"Nezumi?" Shion's mom stood on the other side. Her wide brown eyes raw with crying, and shielded behind a veil of black lace. "I'm glad you're here."
"Of course," Nezumi replied simply. "Shion's inside."
Nezumi stepped out of the way and let the Queen enter the room.
"I'll leave you two alone." Nezumi told Shion gently. "If you need me, I'll just be outside."
Shion nodded. "Thank you Nezumi,"
Nezumi nodded once and disappeared into the hall, shutting the door behind him.
Shion looked at his mom. "How are you doing?"
Karen gave him a watery smile. "Not great…" She replied, talking a deep breath. "but I'm getting by."
Shion nodded his head. There was a moment of silence.
Shion looked at her "I'm so sorry, mom."
Karen's lips trembled. "Thank you," Her voice cracked. "I'm… so glad that your home."
She started to cry.
Shion stood up off the bed and went to her, wrapping his arms around his mother and cradling her into his chest. He brought her back to the bed with him and sat her down so that she could cry into his shoulder, and he didn't disrupt her again for a long time.
"The funeral is tomorrow." Karen said finally, when she was able to speak clearly. "You'll go with me, won't you?"
Shion nodded, "Of course."
"We have a lot to talk about." Karen said, her voice still thick. "There's a lot that's going to be different now that Rikiga is gone. This is going to be a pivotal time."
"I understand." Shion agreed, petting his mother's hair. "But let's just take everything a step at a time. I'll help you with the funeral, then we can handle everything else."
Karen nodded. "You're right," she whispered, "That sounds good."
Shion squeezing his mother gently, hugging her into him, like a source of warmth. "I've missed you mom."
"I've missed you too," She whispered. "I'm so glad that you're finally back here." She reached her arms around him and squeezed him back.
No one felt like eating that night. Shion had spent almost the whole day with his mother, planning for the funeral. By the time it was over he wanted nothing more than to just sit in his room and stop thinking for a while. Food was the absolute last thing on his mind.
"You can go to dinner if you want though," He offered to Nezumi. The dark haired shook his head.
"It's fine. I'd rather stay here."
Shion nodded, slowly sinking onto his bed.
He kicked off his shoes, rolling over and closing his eyes like he was thinking of going to sleep. He patted the space beside him.
"Lay down with me?" He asked, looking at Nezumi. The dark boy turned.
He had been looking out the window.
"Sure," Nezumi agreed, getting up from a chair on the side of the room and moving to lay beside Shion on the bed. Shion snuggled into Nezumi's side.
He sighed. "You're so warm."
Nezumi stroked his hair. "Are you doing okay, Shion?" he asked. "With all of this?"
Shion closed his eyes.
"I don't know," he whispered. "I'm starting to feel so numb. Like I'm turning into stone."
"You could never be that unfeeling Shion." Nezumi promised him, mussing his hair. "You just don't have it in you."
"Maybe," Shion agreed, stifling a yawn. "but that's what it feels like."
A few silent moments passed.
"Nezumi?"
"Hmm?"
Shion turned his head up, "Will you kiss me?"
Nezumi lowered his eyes to look at him.
He didn't say anything. He just took Shion's chin and gently turned it up, pressing his lips to Shion's so that he could feel all the warmth of them sinking into his bones. Then he pulled away.
Shion whined softly. "More."
Nezumi raised an eyebrow, but he did as he was asked. He kissed Shion harder this time, with a more aggressive pressure. Shion sighed happily.
"Please, keep going," Shion whispered. "I need you."
Nezumi pulled slightly away. "Shion…"
Shion opened is eyes. They were bright and pained.
"I know," He whispered. "You're just… your the only thing keeping me going right now. I guess I'm feeling a little greedy."
"I don't want to be your outlet." Nezumi warned. "It was you that taught me about only doing physical things for the right reasons."
Shion nodded. "I know."
"Besides," Nezumi murmured, almost as an after thought. "I don't want you to associate me with this. I don't want to be connected to your pain."
Shion brushed his fingers through Nezumi's hair.
"I love you, Nezumi." he whispered. "You could never be pain to me."
Nezumi closed his eyes.
"Get some sleep." he whispered. "If you still want me in the morning…" Nezumi didn't finish his statement.
Shion smiled wearily.
"I'll always want you." he whispered, but he snuggled closer into Nezumi and closed his eyes. "Goodnight, Nezumi."
Nezumi leaned down and kissed the top of Shion's head. "Goodnight, Shion."
Nezumi felt strange doing it, he wasn't usually so feeling, but he could feel Shion smile.
"I love you," Shion said
Nezumi felt a tightness constrict his throat. "Me too."
Shion went very still.
It wasn't exactly right… but it was closer. And that made Shion happy as he tucked himself closer into Nezumi's side.
Neither of them spoke again. Like they were trying to preserve a delicate spell. And Shion never once moved away from Nezumi's side.
Shion woke up to the pleasant feeling of hot, gentle lips kissing against his neck.
It was still dark. And Shion blinked tiredly until his eyes began to adjust. He realized Nezumi was holding him, aggressively kissing him and touching his skin.
"Nezumi?" Shion croaked, heat starting to course through his veins.
Nezumi gave soft, dreamy sounding sigh.
Shion let out a full breath.
"Nezumi," Shion craned his neck to look at his face.
"Hmm?" Nezumi stilled for a moment and then groaned and shifted, raising up on his elbows and rubbing his eyes.
"Shion?"
Shion blinked, "Were you asleep?"
Nezumi yawned, "Yeah, is something wrong?"
Shion stared at him blankly.
"We're you dreaming?" Shion hinted, and Nezumi seemed to think about it for a moment.
"Yeah…" Nezumi swallowed. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"This is just a guess," Shion said gently, "But I think you were making me a little bit interactive in your dreams a moment ago."
Nezumi blinked.
"Oh," Shion though Nezumi's cheeks may have darkened. "I guess I was a little more… pent up then I realized."
Shion smiled, "I'm not complaining," he breathed, and the two boys' eyes met in the dark.
Nezumi's eyes darkened suggestively.
"We were only going to wait till morning anyway…" he murmured reaching out to trail his fingers over the scar on Shion's neck.
Shion shivered.
"Close enough," Shion breathed, and he pulled Nezumi against him.
They were impatient this time, lips and tongues and teeth and desperate pawing. Too many emotions, too much tension between them to slow down. They never felt close enough, never touching enough, never going fast enough.
It was a starving desperation.
"Shion," Nezumi moaned. They were already undressed, everything vital already grinding fiercely together like they could press themselves into being the same person. "I…"
"I know," Shion panted, "It's okay. Go ahead."
Nezumi groaned.
He was barely clinging to his sanity enough to do things properly, and even still he wasn't as gentle as he wished he could be. But Shion didn't mind as much as he should have.
He was hungry for this too.
When Nezumi was inside, it took an almost painful force of will to hold back long enough to let Shion adjust to him and too keep himself from going too fast. But the second Shion gave him permission, Nezumi was certain he had lost his mind completely.
It was fast and rough and wild, in a way that Nezumi thought he and Shion would never be. What ever had been holding back the flood of churning emotions that had been bottled inside of Nezumi for years seemed to snap and everything came rushing out all at once– a single coursing heat.
"Nezumi!" Shion screamed, probably too loud for privacy or decorum but Nezumi didn't care. It sounded beautiful to him.
"I'm so close Shion." Nezumi panted, "Wait for me."
Shion nodded, a little dizzily, but it wasn't much longer.
The end came like something combusting.
They were both yelling, the other's name on their lips, and the rest of the world forgotten. And when they came to, they were breathing like two people rescued from drowning, and they clung to each other until their heart rates started to even out.
It was still early. Too early, even, to be certain if it was night or morning that they should be concerned about. So Nezumi pulled Shion against him, and wrapped an arm around him, preparing for the return of sleep.
It took a while though, coming down from such a high.
Nezumi's mind started turning.
He thought them first, over and over and over again like a chant. Like repetition would make the words familiar to him, make them them easier to say.
Then he started mouthing them. Tasting them on his tongue without saying them, shaping them and molding his mouth around them until he was certain he could say them smoothly. Then he cleared his throat.
"Shion?"
"Hmmm?" Shion asked sleepily, running his hand along Nezumi's arm where it wrapped around his waist, drawing gentle patterns. "What is it?"
Nezumi took a slow deep breath.
"I love you, Shion."
Shion's arm stilled.
Shion tried to move, but Nezumi held him fast. Holding him in place so he couldn't look at him. The dark boy's cheeks pooled with blood.
"Please," Shion whispered, his voice sounding desperate, and thick with emotion. "Please, let me look at you."
Nezumi hesitated, but finally he loosened his grip.
Shion rolled over.
He threw his arms around Nezumi's neck, their lips crashing together with such force Nezumi was nearly pushed out of the bed, and they didn't come up for air for a long time.
"I love you too," Shion panted, pulling back to beam at Nezumi with all the light and warmth he had– like his smile could outshine the sun. "I love you. I love so much."
Nezumi smiled, almost against his will. His lips melting into one of the warmest, gentlest smile Shion had ever seem him wear, as he reached up to run his thumb along the stripe on Shion's cheek, just like he had done the first night they had ever met.
Nezumi chuckled. "You're unbelievable."
Shion's eyes wrinkled with his smile and he started to laugh, "Me?"
"Yes," Nezumi grinned, mussing Shion's hair. "You."
Shion giggled.
"You should get back to sleep." Nezumi said, a moment later, drawing patterns on Shion's back. Shion sighed.
"I don't think I can sleep now," he said, still smiling like he couldn't get it off his face. His arms were still looped around Nezumi's neck. "In fact, you're sort of making me want to repeat what we were doing just a minute ago."
Nezumi laughed.
"Careful what you wish for." He teased leaning in to nip sharply against Shion's pulse point, making him shudder.
Shion laughed, "Not with you. I'll always wish for more of you. No matter what it costs."
Nezumi felt a bubbly twist inside his stomach. "Always?"
"Always." Shion replied, and he leaned in to kiss Nezumi again.
Nezumi closed his eyes, giving in to the feeling of this, for once.
He was so terrified in that moment. More than he had ever been in his entire life. But he could worry about that later.
This was Shion. And he loved him.
The funeral was a production. The biggest event the kingdom had ever seen. Nezumi watched it from beside Shion, in chairs on a balcony above the crowd.
It was like watching a circus.
Nezumi was bitter. He couldn't say he didn't hate this man. Under other circumstances, he probably would have spent this day celebrating. A victory for the boy who had dreamt of this death a hundred times.
But this was for Shion, so he held it in.
When it was finally over, Nezumi, Shion, and the Queen spent a few hours accepting condolences from the people, like all of them were dear friends. None of them knew who Nezumi was, for which he was glad. He just stood aside and let the ceremony happen.
By late afternoon, the three of them were all drawn and exhausted as they collectively retreated inside the castle. But unfortunately for Nezumi, he was in for a few more surprises.
"Shion!"
Nezumi stiffened at the sight of her. That brown haired girl that loved Shion, bounding up the castle hall and throwing her arms around the white haired boy like he was hers to hold.
Nezumi fists turned white at the knuckles.
"Shion, I'm so sorry." Safu said, pulling away but still holding Shion by the arms as she looked up into his face. "I came as quickly as I could, I'm so sorry I missed the funeral. How are you doing?"
Shion looked startled, his eyes shifted to Nezumi who stood stoic at his side. But the dark gleam in those sword-steel eyes spoke volumes.
Shion disentangled himself from Safu.
"I'm doing all right." Shion said quickly, giving the girl a gentle smile. "Just tired. I think I need to take a rest."
Someone cleared their throat.
Shion, Karen, Safu and Nezumi all turned their heads. Standing behind them, the head of the King's council was waiting, his hands folded at his back.
"Soon, your grace." the man said, stiffly. "But I'm afraid– that at the moment– the council has a few important matters to discuss with you and your mother. It would be best if you sent your friends to go on ahead."
Shion's expression tightened.
"All right," He agreed slowly, exchanging a look with his mother before turning to Nezumi and Safu.
"Nezumi, why don't you and Safu go take a look at the library? Safu can show you where. It's actually quite beautiful."
Nezumi's eyes tightened.
"And large," Shion added, with a stern look. "Plenty of quiet places to get away and read."
Nezumi took the hint.
"That sounds nice," Nezumi agreed reluctantly. "Safu? Do you mind?"
"Not at all," Safu agreed, but she gave Nezumi a confused look. She had no idea who he was. She didn't recognize him from Shion's birthday, and they had never been properly introduced. "Right this way."
And the two of them wandered off as Shion turned to the councilman.
"Lead the way."
"You want me to be king?"
Shion's voice rose to a rather uncomfortable decibel at the news. His heart feeling like he might be about to have an attack. "Now? I'm sixteen! And I was disowned by Rikiga. I spent the last few weeks banished!"
"You're the most qualified," one of the councilmen explained. "Your mother was not prepared for this. And she's made it very clear she doesn't want the job. Rikiga only prepared you to take his place, and if you don't do it, the lack of organized succession could start a war."
"I'm not even his blood," Shion pointed out, "Why would they accept me?"
"He adopted you," one of the advisors pointed out. "You've been familiar to your people for years. No announcement was made about the banishment. They don't have any idea."
Shion felt a little sick.
"Shion." Karen said gently, putting her hand over her son's. "I can't do this job. I suggested you because I know how smart you are, what bright ideas you have. I know that you could make a wonderful difference here–,"
Karen didn't get to finish.
"It HAS to be you." the head councilman broke in. "There are no other monarchs that are appropriate. The succession must fall to you, or there will be chaos."
Shion swallowed thickly.
"I don't know." He murmured, "Living in the West District with Nezumi… I kind of gave up on–,"
"About that…" Another of the councilman began. "You must stop hanging around with that street rat."
Shion's eyes widened. "What?"
"Rumors will spread," The councilman said, as if it were horrible and obvious all at the same time. "The King can't have a male lover. The King must have a Queen and future heirs. You should understand that more than anyone, since Rikiga's lack of heirs is the reason for all of this."
"I don't care!" Shion snapped, looking furious. "I won't leave Nezumi."
The councilmen shared a look.
"He's just some pretty street actor. You said it yourself, you're young. You'll forget about him–,"
"I won't!" Shion barked viciously. "I will never forget Nezumi. He is everything to me."
The councilmen all looked uncomfortable and horrified. But also as if they were trying to talk down a rebellious child.
"This is unreasonable–,"
"You're unreasonable." Shion spat. "You can fight all the wars you want. If anything happens to Nezumi, if he isn't at my side, then you will never have your king."
With that Shion turned and stormed out of the room. Slamming the door behind him. The councilmen all sighed.
"What are we going to do?"
"Maybe with the proper management we could keep the actor boy a secret–,"
The council began discussing it, and Karen listened to them with a heavy heart.
She had been wrong. She should have let Shion stay lost.
He had found his happiness, hadn't he? Now what had she done?
"So how do you know Shion?"
Nezumi ground his teeth.
Safu had been following him around the library. No doubt waiting to ask this very question all along. Nezumi was ready to pull his hair out.
"We met when we were kids."
"Oh," Safu seemed appeased by this. "So you're a childhood friend from before he was the prince."
Nezumi's muscles tightened.
He should say nothing. He should leave it at that.
He cleared his throat.
"No."
"Oh," Safu looked confused. "Then what do you mean?"
Nezumi raised his bright eyes to look at her. Something dangerous flashing in their depths.
Luckily for her, the door was thrown open at that moment, and Shion came storming inside.
Nezumi felt like his stomach had been turned to lead. "What happened?" he asked. It took one look at Shion's face to see that something was wrong.
Shion raised his eyes to Nezumi's, and the look in them made Nezumi's stomach twist.
Something was very wrong.
"The council just…." Shion's eyes flickered to Safu. "Is just causing problems. We'll probably have to leave soon. I don't know how much longer I can stay here."
Nezumi nodded firmly. He didn't know exactly what Shion was getting at, but he understood that whatever it was, the two of them weren't safe to stay here. They needed to leave before tomorrow.
"Oh," Safu had a look cross her face, something like pain. "I guess they told you different news than I was expecting."
Shion whirled on her. "Expecting? What do you mean?"
Safu blinked rapidly, she seemed nervous and startled. "Well… the councilmen contacted me. They said… since the king had passed… they were going to offer you the throne."
Nezumi felt something dark creep over him as puzzle pieces started forming in his mind. His chest kept getting tighter.
"Why did they tell you that?" Shion asked, his expression angry and baffled.
Safu, bit her lip. "Well… they…. they said you would be needing a queen. So they thought…"
Shion's expression broke into a cross between horror and shock. But Nezumi barely noticed.
The puzzle pieces had clicked together.
The council, the throne, Shion, and Safu. It must have been such a lovely little picture, with only one thing in the way.
It wasn't Shion who wasn't safe here another night. It was him.
It was the two of them together.
That's why Shion was trying to leave.
Nezumi's entire body seemed to freeze.
Shion turned to look at him.
"Safu, I can't talk about this right now." Shion snapped at the girl, moving toward Nezumi. "Nezumi, come with me."
Shion grabbed Nezumi's hand and began pulling him, half dragging him, down the hall until they were safe inside Shion's bedroom, setting Nezumi on the bed.
Shion grabbed Nezumi's face and forced the boy to look at him.
"I said no."
"I know." Nezumi croaked, thickly. "I gathered that."
"This doesn't change anything," Shion said quickly, almost panicked, like he was trying to get the words out too fast. "I don't want it. I just want to leave. I've made my choice already."
Nezumi swallowed.
"No, Shion." he whispered. "You haven't."
Shion's eyes widened.
"I have!" Shion pleaded, sounding like he was breathing too much, too quickly. "I chose you! I choose you! I will always choose you!"
Nezumi raised his eyes. They were so dark, it was like looking at a starless night. "You're decisions don't only affect you, Shion."
Shion sucked in a breath.
"What are you saying?" Shion's grip on Nezumi tightened, his voice was watery and weak. "You… you love me, don't you?"
Nezumi's expresson sort of crumpled. "Of course I do."
Shion's lips smiled, but it was a desperate, shaky smile. "Then we can just stay together."
Nezumi shook his head.
"Shion," His whispered. Reaching up to grip Shion's hands in his where they rested on his cheeks. "I don't make decisions based on love."
Shion's face went pale.
"You should't blame the councilmen," Nezumi said, squeezing Shion's hands. "I could never stay in this life. No matter what they said. It isn't right for me. It's right for you."
"No." Shion shook his head, violently. "No it isn't."
"It is." Nezumi breathed. "Shion… the life we had, in The West District… It was temporary."
Shion kept shaking his head. "No!"
"No one can stay there forever, it doesn't happen. We would have died, or we would have changed. Those were the options. This… this is the best outcome there could have been."
Shion shook. "No! Stop talking."
Nezumi gripped Shion tighter, trying to will the boy to look at him. "Shion, I haven't given up on the things that I wanted."
Shion finally looked. His eyes wide. "Your revenge?"
Nezumi's eyes tightened. "There are people here. People suffering, people who have suffered. I need to do something to help them. I never would have given that up."
"You're not going to preach that enemy stuff again." Shion said fiercely, his eyes narrowing. "You are not my enemy!"
Nezumi shook his head. "No, Shion. Don't you get it?" his voice was rough. "You. You will be my revenge."
Shion's eyes widened.
"You can help people," Nezumi said, finally looking Shion in the eyes, reaching out to run his fingers through Shion's soft white hair. "And I know that you will. But only if you stay. If you become King… I will finally have achieved what I wanted. In the best way that it could have been achieved. And finally… I'll be able to move on."
Shion looked sort of green. "You're leaving…" It wasn't a question.
Nezumi's eyes were steady. "Yes."
Shion shook his head again. "No! No, I can't never see you again. Please!"
Nezumi grabbed Shion's face, forcing him to sit still. "Shion! This is bigger than you and me. You told me that you wanted to help people. That, if you could, that's what you wanted to do. Well now you can."
"This can't be the only way!" Shion screamed, tears starting to run down his cheeks. "It can't be the only way– that I have to lose you."
Nezumi sort of smiled. "It's not in my nature to be kept, Shion."
Shion was crying in ernest now. "So what? Did you know this would happen? That I would become king and you would leave? Have you just been waiting?"
"No." Nezumi said sharply. "I didn't know what was going to happen, Shion. I had an instinct… that there was no way the two of us could stay together for long, but I told you that. Remember?"
Shion sucked in a breath, "But I thought…. I thought things changed. You said you loved me…"
"I do love you," Nezumi said thickly, wiping his hand through Shion's tears, trying to clear them. "You taught me that. If you have a chance at something important… you don't waste it to protect yourself." Nezumi smiled, "Right?"
Shion's eyes welled with a fresh round of tears.
"I don't want to live without you," Shion whispered. "There is nothing for me, without you."
Nezumi shook his head. "Of course there is. And who knows? Maybe this won't be last time we see each other. After all… what are the chances I would ever get to see the boy who saved my life when I was a kid? But here we are."
Shion shut his eyes, and let the tears run down his cheeks in streams.
"Please…. Nezumi. Don't leave."
"Hey…" Nezumi whispered, his voice thick with emotion. He brushed his hands through Shion's hair, and the boy opened his eyes. "Come on, you spoiled child. Act your age."
And with that, he kissed him.
When they pulled away Shion's eyes were raw with sadness. And he was clinging to Nezumi with everything he had.
His eyes were bright as fires. "Kisses are a promise." He whispered. "You can't do that when you're just going to leave."
Nezumi smiled. "You told me kisses are a promise that you're going to love someone." Nezumi whispered back, pressing a kiss to Shion's forehead, making him tremble with tears. "And that is a promise I can keep."
Shion sobbed quietly, wrapping his arms around Nezumi and pulling him into a tight embrace.
"You'll be fine without me." Nezumi whispered, softly in his ear. "You'll have a purpose. You're going to change things. And when you have…" Nezumi smiled, and tilted his head to kiss Shion softly on the neck. "When you have, I know that you'll find me again."
Shion sobbed into Nezumi's shoulder. "I can't wait that long."
Nezumi chuckled, "You haven't even tried."
Shion shook his head.
Nezumi squeezed him tighter. "I'm going to miss you, Shion. But I'll be watching you. I'll watch you change everything. And when you have, I'll come back, and I'll steal you away."
Shion squeezed his eyes shut, and clung to the dark haired boy like his life depended on it.
"You better," He sniffed, burying his face in Nezumi's neck. "I'll be looking for you."
That night– after the sun disappeared below the horizon– Shion stood on his balcony, looking down into the trees below, where a dark haired boy stood, staring up at him.
He waved goodbye.
It took hours for someone to find Shion after that.
The people who finally did, were his mother and the council.
"Haven't you all put him through enough," Shion's mother was saying, trying to shoo the council away from Shion's room. "I told you. His decision–,"
"It's all right, Mom." Shion said softly. All the life had gone out of his voice. "Things have changed now. I'm willing to take the council's offer."
The Queen whirled around. "What?"
The council all gave a collective sigh of relief.
"That's fantastic! We must plan for the coronation. Draw up announcements immediately!" The council all started shouting and stirring and within moments Shion and his mother were alone in his room.
"Shion what happened?" She asked, her voice timid, frightened. "You don't look good. Where is Nezumi?"
Shion raised his head.
"He's gone, Mom." Shion whispered, so quiet that she barely heard him.
Shion closed his eyes.
"Nezumi is gone."