Y/N: I love writing as Kana's father, Iori, but for some reason, that love did not extend to his daughter. She was difficult to write, because she walked a thin line between boring and interesting as a personality. I don't know if I'm explaining it right or not... It's almost three in the morning, and I just finished writing an Iori chapter for 08, and I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. I liked Upamon, and I kind of used him, but it was difficult, with the location this chapter took place in. I hope you like it. :D

Title: Here Comes Santa Claus

By: YukiraKing

Disclaimer: We don't own Digimon or its characters.

Chapter 07: Nutcracker

Kana Hida:

"Don't be nervous," I told Tenshi, through the phone. I had him on speaker, and Renjiro and I both had our heads bent over the phone in my hand. Tenshi was freaking out, and I felt absolutely horrible, because we weren't there to help encourage him. Louisa was there though, and that was good. She would keep him from backing out at least. He wanted this. I was sure he did. He didn't have any other thoughts for his future that he'd shared with me in any case.

"You'll be amazing," Renjiro assured him. Renjiro's glasses were shifting down his nose, and I pushed them back up for him. His whole face turned red and he peeked over at me. I smiled at him when our eyes met, and he smiled back, timidly. He was always so cautious around me, like he thought I was going to disappear on him. I didn't plan to though. I loved him. I loved him more than I thought was possible. I couldn't even remember an exact moment when my feelings for him changed. It was so gradual and seamless that it was impossible to pinpoint the precise point in time. I didn't need to though. It didn't matter. Not really.

"What if I forget everything?" Tenshi asked, worriedly.

"You'll have your Mom in the audience," I pointed out, realizing the real issue at hand. He wasn't worried about the music. He was a good cellist. He was very gifted and played beautifully. It was the audience he was worried about. "Just stare at her the whole time, if you need to. Or Louisa."

"Louisa's a bad choice," Renjiro protested quickly. "She's liable to make goofy faces just to screw up your concentration."

"Mom then," Tenshi decided. He didn't sound nearly as worried anymore, and for that I was glad.

"Break a leg out there, Tenshi," I told him. "You've got to get to the next round so we can see you up there."

"You'll have to tell us everything," Renjiro warned him. Tenshi thanked us, and hung up. He needed to be ready, because he was going on in five minutes. I wished I could be there for him. But I knew that this was also very important to Emiko, and she would be very hurt if we chose not to attend her performance.

Not that we were pleased with her at the moment.

What self-respecting twenty-five year old rigs a Secret Santa for her own favour? Josei was only six years old, and Emiko was going to trick that little girl? What about the other little kids? What about Yukai and Taro, and Izumi, Iris and Madlyn? What about Shouta? She couldn't have been thinking straight if she was going to ruin a fun game for them. She would have left them heartbroken. It just wasn't right. It might've been a joke, but it hadn't been funny to anyone except for Emiko.

"There you two are!" Mrs Kido called. "The curtain's about to go up, you've got to hurry to your seats."

"We're coming Mom," Renjiro said. I turned my phone onto silent, so that it wouldn't distract any of the patrons here for the show, and I grabbed Renjiro's hand, pulling him along. I kissed his cheek right before we entered the theatre, just to see him blush again, before we found our seats. Azura was keeping Monmon company, and his partner Kotemon was squeezed between Monmon and Bearmon, looking very excited about being invited. Mrs Kido was on Bearmon's other side, with Mr Kido next to her. Gomamon sat between Mr Kido and his brother...Mr Kido, who was next to his wife, Mrs Kido, who had Otamamon in her lap, and their daughter Kaoru was at the very end.

Sometimes, using proper manners got confusing. Everyone was Mr or Mrs Kido these days. Renjiro's grandpa, Mr Kido, was with his Mrs Kido, and the last Mr Kido was there too, his wife having been unable to make it. I thought maybe using their true names inside my head might make things easier but I felt guilty about not being respectful.

"I can't believe Shuu, Shin and Grandpa all came," Renjiro said in awe. "That'll make Emiko feel really special. I know she's nervous. She won't say she is, but she's the star of the show."

"I know," I said, feeling the excitement seeping into my pores. Mom and Armadillomon might've been avid movie reviewers, but I had a special place in my heart for live entertainment. I didn't care if it was a play, a ballet, a musical, an opera or a concert. If it was live, I loved it. I especially loved festivals for that very reason. There was something so special about seeing someone on a stage performing their hearts out. I could feel the raw emotion, and it was a sort of intimacy that television, movies or CDs couldn't really portray. And to think that Emiko was going to be on that stage in mere minutes was exhilarating.

Other than Tenshi and his cello, I'd never really had a personal connection with the performers I'd watched over the years with Grandpa Ando, or Granny Fumiko. They liked to take me places, making special outings out of it. But the ones that stood out most were when Tenshi was up there pouring his heart and soul into his music. I couldn't wait to experience The Nutcracker with Emiko on that same personal level.

I settled Upamon on my shoulder, because there was no way he would be able to see over the seat in front of him, and knew that he was going to fall asleep long before the intermission ever came around. He was always lulled to sleep by classical music. I was sure it had something to do with my obsession with it when I was younger.

"I don't want nap time," he whined, when I put on a classic Mozart concerto. I looked to him confused.

"I'm just studying," I told him. "You can play with Armadillomon or Goblimon if you want. I won't stop you."

"But you put on the sleepy time music," he said softly, as though I'd done it as a form of punishment.

"I always listen to this," I pointed out as he yawned and sank into a gentle—yet unwanted—slumber. It was an attempt of mine to improve my brain capacity. I heard that classical music helped babies develop even in the womb, so I figured I would play it all the time, and it would improve me a whole lot more since I was ten and not just a little baby. I could actually learn things now. I was big enough.

I hadn't learned all that much on biology or science though, since I thought it worked that way. But Upamon had an aversion to classic music since then. I should have realized that he'd developed a pattern of falling asleep, but I hadn't. I figured that Goblimon and Armadillomon tuckered him out while I was at school all day.

After that, I tried to pay far more attention to my partner, so that I could understand him better. If he wasn't willing to tell me when things were bothering him, then I would have to deduce his discomforts on my own. It was a great exercise for me, and it improved the relationship between the two of us significantly.

"It's starting!" Bukamon whispered excitedly from his perch on Renjiro's head. I felt very happy that there were no people behind us, since we were at the very back row. Emiko had wanted more tickets than had been set aside in the front row, and instead of making us pay for our own tickets, she exchanged the better seats for these ones, hoping that we wouldn't mind.

And we didn't.

I always found it was easier to see the whole show as a whole from a distance, and since Emiko was the star, there wouldn't be any trouble finding her when she was onstage.

The lights dimmed around us, and everyone could feel the thrumming energy in the air. I clasped Renjiro's hand, and he rubbed the back of mine with his thumb as we waited for the curtains to rise. I heard Azura suck in a breath and he held it as long as he could, waiting for Emiko to come out onto the stage. And the moment she did, both of our breath was taken away. She looked like a dream, a vision in white, gliding across the stage in a lacy dress that reached her knees. Her long hair was done up in ringlets and held back with a large white ribbon. She was beautiful.

And she danced wonderfully.

I had never seen her look so happy and wonderful in my life. It didn't matter that I was mad at her at that particular moment. Nothing else mattered, because Emiko was up there, living her dream, and I knew that this as one of the most amazing things in the world.

Soon, I would be taking the first steps towards my own dream. Mine wasn't nearly as glamorous as Emiko's, but I'd tried that route already, and I knew it wasn't for me.

Mom and Dad weren't paying attention to me. Goblimon wasn't either, and Armadillomon was too preoccupied with Upamon. He was my partner, but he looked up to Armadillomon, and followed him around everywhere he went. It was exhausting for Armadillomon, and lonely for me.

I needed to find a way to make them pay attention to me again. I knew that they liked movies, so I decided to book an airplane ticket to Hollywood, so that I could be an actor and be in the movies that they liked, and then they'd pay more attention to me.

Only, it turned out I needed money to get a ticket, and that was something I didn't have. I sighed, and dragged my favourite blanket behind me and crawled into Dad's lap on the couch. Mommy was crying and Dad was holding her close. I didn't understand why she was already so sad, but it made me sad too.

"I'm not really running away," I promised them. "I don't got any money, so I can't. Don't cry."

"You were going to run away?" Mommy asked, crying harder now. I cried more too as I nodded my head.

"I wanna go be in the movies so you'll like me again," I cried.

"Sweetheart, we like you just fine," Dad assured me, holding me against his chest. "We're just a little worried about your Grandfather."

"What about him?" I asked, pouting. They weren't sad about me wanting to run away—which I later realized was because they hadn't known I was thinking about it, but at the time it seemed like something they should've been more worried about. "Is he running away too?"

"No," Mommy said. "His heart got sick. He's not getting better as fast as we thought. The doctors are worried."

"Maybe I should run away to Grandpa, and make him better?" I asked, confused, not understanding what was going on.

"If only that would work," Dad said with a sigh.

"You want to be an actress?" Mommy asked, trying to get her tears to stop.

"No," I said, shaking my head. "I just want my mommy and daddy to love me again."

"We do, love you," Mommy insisted.

"We've never stopped," Dad promised.

Grandpa did get better, but no, my dream wasn't in the entertainment industry. Mine was in the medical field. I was very excited about getting into such a promising school. It was a highly sought after school, which was why it was so hard to get into...but I wasn't sure how happy I was going to be when I got there, if Renjiro wasn't going to be there alongside me.

I wanted to go to a good school, and I was proud of myself for being accepted. I was going to go into dentistry, and find a solid career there, where I could be stable and happy in my future. But I guess I'd always figured Renjiro would be at my side the entire time, working towards the same goal. We'd been fantasizing about a joint dental practice since we were kids.

Upamon rolled off of my shoulder, onto my lap, and the lights lit up around me. It was time for intermission. Renjiro let go of my hand while he stood up to stretch.

"I have to pee!" Bukamon cried. Renjiro flushed red, embarrassed by just how loud Bukamon's call had been. He hurriedly grabbed Bukamon, and started towards the door. I poked Upamon, to see if he wanted to go too, but he was sound asleep, not even caring that there were hundreds of voices all talking at once. I sighed. He didn't appreciate fine music the way I did.

But that was okay, because we had other things that we could do together, like scrapbooking. He and I were working on a project for Louisa, using all of the pictures we'd been able to find—which Emiko had actually helped me figure out.

"Hey, Azura," Emiko said, dropping down onto the couch between me and her boyfriend in Renjiro's spot—which he had vacated in order to get Upamon some juice that he desperately 'needed' to have. "What do you want for Christmas?"

"Like a Secret Santa thing?" Azura asked, sounding a little disappointed that she was revealing who his Secret Santa was. She laughed and tapped his nose with her finger.

"No," she protested, rolling her eyes. "Like a girlfriend thing. What do you want for Christmas? I figured if we were all celebrating, I might as well go all out."

"I don't know," Azura said, trying to think on the spot. "I guess I'd like anything if you made it. Homemade presents have so much more heart in them, you know?"

"That wasn't helpful at all," Emiko said, narrowing her eyes at him grouchily. He smiled innocently, and she stalked off.

Upamon was trying to figure out what to get for Salamon too, and he asked if I could help him knit a winter hat and a matching scarf, so that Salamon could have a homemade gift too. He was going to pick out the colours, but since he didn't have any hands, it would've been incredibly difficult for him to knit it on his own.

I had to learn how to knit in order to help him, but Mom enjoyed the fact that it was something we could do together. She seemed to be having pre-separation anxiety. I hadn't even left yet, but she was acting as though I'd left and would never come back. This way, I got to help Upamon, and Mom got to spend time with me. It was an efficient way to spend my spare time, since I didn't have a lot of it anymore. I had to keep studying as hard as I could. I couldn't start slacking now that I'd gotten into my dream school. That wasn't going to help my future.

"Thinking hard, or hardly thinking?" Azura asked me. I looked up to him. He was seated directly to my left and he was being excluded from the conversation between Monmon, Kotemon and Bearmon. I shook my head to clear out my worries and smile at him.

"It's nothing, Dr Saito," I assured him. He was a veterinarian, and he didn't seem to mind it when I addressed him properly. Everyone else flinched and complained that it made them feel old, but I wouldn't stop unless they asked me to call them something else specifically. That's what Mom taught me. Azura preened under the moniker though, proud of his accomplishments.

"Doesn't look like nothing," he said gently.

"Renjiro hasn't gotten his acceptance letter yet," I blurted out. I looked down, away from him and towards Upamon, embarrassed that I'd betrayed Renjiro's confidence. I didn't know if he'd told anyone that he hadn't been accepted. I didn't know if he wanted anyone to know.

"But yours came," Azura guessed. I nodded, feeling my eyes growing wet. I couldn't do this here. I couldn't cry in public. That wasn't proper. I didn't want anyone's attention on me. I wanted to suffer in silence, because no matter how sad I felt about it, I knew it was worse for Renjiro.

"Yeah," I said. "And we won't be together next year if his doesn't come, and I don't know what to do about that. How can we be together if we aren't even in the same school?"

"Emiko and I didn't go to the same school," he pointed out, which was true. Emiko went to a dance academy, and Azura had graduated near the top of his class from the school I was heading to. I knew that if Renjiro had gotten accepted, I would have been peppering Azura with questions about the campus, and the classes, and the teachers. But Renjiro hadn't. And I was sad about it.

But I was still very excited about having been accepted myself. It was a very confusing time for me.

"We turned out alright," Azura said, gazing towards the stage with a sweet smile gracing his face. He was so very in love with Emiko, and while I didn't understand it, I appreciated it. He balanced her out in ways I hadn't thought was possible. It was amazing how they'd influenced each other just by being around one another. I knew that Renjiro and I had probably done the same, but since I didn't know what life was like without Renjiro, I couldn't be sure how I had been changed.

"You did," I said, nodding. "But maybe his acceptance will still come."

"Don't they send them out at the same time?" he murmured, but I couldn't react. Renjiro was sitting down next to me. There was a hollow space in my chest, where his words had broken a hole into me. What if he was right? What if Renjiro didn't get to come with me to our dream school? Hadn't we promised to go to the same school?

"We'll always be together, right?" Renjiro asked while we passed a ball back and forth on the ground. Upamon had it, and was trying to push it towards Renjiro. He had to hit it with his head, and ended up feeling dizzy with the force he put behind his head butt. I reached over to rub his wound while I looked to Renjiro.

"Always is a really long time," I commented. We'd just finished third grade, and were feeling pretty proud of ourselves. But we were still just kids. Forever seemed like a long time.

"I know," Renjiro said, blushing as he looked to the ball in his hands, before pushing it towards Bukamon. "But I think we'll be best friends forever. We'll always be together, right?"

"I'll always want to be your best friend," I assured him. I couldn't imagine life any differently. "We'll share a house in the future too. And we'll both be dentists."

"I'm supposed to be a doctor," Renjiro sighed sadly, thinking about his Grandfather's secret suggestions that Mr Kido wasn't supposed to know about.

"A dentist is a type of doctor," I said. He perked up. "We'll save the humans, one cavity at a time."

"Sounds like fun," Renjiro said with a quiet laugh. "Does that mean we gotta go to more school after we finish this one?"

"We've got a lot of school to do, yep," I sighed. "But don't worry. We'll do that together too."

Would I be able to give up my dream school in order to attend one that he'd been accepted to? Would that choice benefit me in any way, or would I learn to resent that decision? Renjiro could possibly become an extension of that resentment, and I couldn't handle that.

"You okay?" Renjiro asked me, reaching out for my hand. Upamon snorted in his sleep and I almost managed a smile. But my heart was beating so fast. I was so confused.

"Fine," I lied. He could tell I was lying, so I didn't know why I tried. He frowned and squeezed my hand tightly, knowing I would tell him when I was ready. I told him everything, no matter how silly or embarrassing. I told him the really deep things too. They just took longer to share, that's all.

My Crest was Knowledge. Mr Izumi had given it to me because he thought I could handle it. There was a connection between the two of us, but I didn't understand what he meant. I didn't understand a lot of things, but I knew that for the sake of my Crest I shouldn't pick the inferior school.

But what if my heart and my Crest wanted different things?

I was so confused.

I stayed confused, even through the second half of Emiko's performance. I was confused enough to not show enough bitter reluctance when Emiko apologized for ruining the Secret Santa—having finally realized what Renjiro and I were acting so icily about. I couldn't wrap my head around what to do. I kissed Renjiro goodnight, ignoring the jeers and teasing coming from Mr and Mrs Kido, Monmon and especially Emiko, and climbed out of the car, cradling Upamon in my arms. I looked down to him and wished I could take hold of some of his carefree innocence. If I could just roll into a ball and sleep my cares away instead of stressing over my future, I would do it.

Growing up was hard.

But it wasn't like I could just not do it. Even if Mom wished I could.

The house was dark when I got inside, and I made sure to be quiet as I tiptoed through the living room. I stopped to put a blanket on Goblimon, who had obviously tried to wait up for me, and kissed his head, before heading to my room. I tucked Upamon into his little bed which was set up on my bedside table, and kissed him too, before texting Tenshi, not wanting to wake him if he was sleeping.

He called me seconds later though, so I knew he wasn't. I accepted the call and quickly put the phone to my ear. "How was it?" I asked before he could say anything.

"I moved on to the next round," he said breathily. "It went better than I thought it would. I would've liked it if you guys were there though. How was Emiko?"

"She was amazing," I gushed. "I knew she was good, but I didn't know how good. I don't think I can look at another dancer the same way. She's raised the bar for me. There's no turning back now."

Tenshi laughed. "That's good. I'm glad you got to see her."

"But I'll be there for you next time," I promised. "There's no way I'm missing it. I'm really sorry I had to miss today."

"As long as you and Renjiro had fun, that's all that matters," he said kindly. He was the best. He really was. We talked only for a short time more, since it was pretty late, and I really needed to get to sleep. I had more studying to do in the morning.

And more stressing about the future too.

Featured Evolution Line: Kana: Tsubamon—Upamon—Ryudamon—Ginryumon—Brachiomon—Cannondramon