My only regret about this episode is that it (or, the theme/lesson of the week, anyway!) didn't happen while both Kurt and Blaine were at McKinley! They could've done some kind of Katy/Gaga mash-up duet or something. I don't know. :D

(I do not own Glee or any of the characters, dialogue, or songs from the show. It's all just for fun!)

BLAINE

After Finn's memorial, things got better for New Directions. They had properly honored their friend and said their public goodbyes, and with those facts came some peace. The plaque that Rachel had given Mr. Schu to hang in the choir room helped, too. It felt like a public announcement: Finn Hudson made a difference here. Seeing Finn's face every day gave them a renewed sense of purpose and reminded them that he would've wanted them to keep moving forward with their lives.

They could have fun again. It was okay.

The atmosphere in the choir room on Monday afternoon was more upbeat than it had been since Finn passed away. Everyone was goofing off, playing the room's various instruments and chatting and laughing, as they waited for Mr. Schu to arrive. Blaine sat down with Artie at the piano, and they spent the few minutes of free time making up short, silly theme songs for themselves and their friends.

"Alright, big week, guys!" Mr. Schu announced as he walked into the room with a piece of paper in his hand. "Come on, gather 'round! I have here, in my hand... drum roll please... a secret list of the show choirs that we will be in competition with at Nationals in six weeks."

They were all ready to hear it. Blaine already had a pretty good idea of which groups would be on the list, but he listened intently as Mr. Schu informed the others.

"Okay, let's see what we've got," Mr. Schu said, examining the paper in his hand. "We've got the Rust Belters from Pittsburgh, the Thunder Showcats from Gainesville, and, finally, from Fort Wayne... Throat Explosion."

"No!" Tina wailed. "Why, god!"

"Uh, what?" Jake scoffed. "Throat Explosion... that's a joke, right?"

"Anything but!" Blaine scolded. "They're the new super group the show choir underground's been buzzing about."

Nobody but Tina had any idea what he was talking about, so Blaine tried to impress upon them the seriousness of the situation. "Their budgets for costume, makeup, hair alone are astronomical. You guys have read that Malcolm Gladwell book Outliers, right?"

Silence. Blaine rolled his eyes. "So," he informed the group, "Gladwell says you can't possibly master anything unless you've spent ten thousand hours practicing it. So, students can't even join Throat Explosion without proving they've logged in ten thousand hours of show choir rehearsal. They don't even go to class! They just perform. Every minute of every day. They live their art; they know no boundaries. They're constantly pushing the envelope, living and performing on the edge. They're like mini Lady Gagas."

"We're so screwed," Tina worried. "They're not like Vocal Adrenaline or unfeeling borg robots. They're total outsiders and misfits, which used to be our niche! We can't compete with Throat Explosion anymore at that level because we lost our biggest Gaga when Kurt graduated last year! Look around... we're a room full of, like, Katy Perrys now!"

"Oh, you best check your spectrum, Queen T," Unique disagreed, "because orange is the new black and Unique is the new Gaga."

"Well, not Marley," Tina clarified. "She's a Katy Perry. So is Sam, so is Blaine."

"I'm a Katy Perry and I'm proud of it," Blaine confirmed.

"The truth is, Tina, we're a potent mix of Katy Perrys and Lady Gagas in here," Mr. Schu reassured her. "But it's not a liability. It's the way we're going to beat Throat Explosion. Now, some of us in here are, you know, ambi-edge..."

"'Ambi-edge'?" Artie narrowed his eyes at their teacher. "You just make that up?"

Mr. Schu paused, like he was going to try to explain himself, but then kept talking. "Some of us are more, you know, wholesome, innocent, romantic, all-American girl and boy next door types," he explained.

"Who in here would describe themselves as a Gaga?" Mr. Schu asked.

Tina, Kitty, Unique, and Jake raised their hands.

"Okay, great!" Mr. Schu approved. "The rest of you are Katys?" he looked to Blaine, Sam, Marley, Artie, and Ryder.

"Is there a third option?" Ryder wondered.

"We're gonna mix it up a little bit," Mr. Schu announced as he walked to the whiteboard and wrote Katy vs Gaga. "We're turning our weaknesses into our strengths. This week, the Katys will get their Gaga on and the Gagas will bring the Katy."

Blaine's dreams of staging an elaborate Katy Perry number in the auditorium were crushed in that moment, but he knew it was a good lesson plan. They needed to push themselves out of their comfort zones.

"Throat Explosion does their one thing very, very well," Mr. Schu explained, "but we need to be able to do both, impeccably, or else we're not going to have a chance in hell at winning Nationals this year."

Blaine nodded. Every member of New Directions was going to have to bring his or her absolute best to their set at Nationals or they were going to be crushed by Throat Explosion.

"Okay," Mr. Schu instructed, "get into your groups and start figuring out what song you want to do this week."

Blaine, Sam, Marley, Artie, and Ryder decided on Applause without much arguing. It was one of Gaga's newer songs, and it would be fun to dance to. They agreed to meet back in the choir room in an hour to start working on costumes, because Blaine and Sam had to leave for a student council meeting.

"Dude," Sam said after the meeting, as they stood up to leave the classroom and make their way back to the choir room, "you've gotta help me."

"Sure," Blaine agreed. "What's up?"

"Okay, you know Nurse Penny?" Sam asked.

"...Yes," Blaine confirmed when Sam paused and waited for an answer.

"Well, she's– we really connected, you know, and I was totally convinced that she's a smokin' hot Katy, like me. Perfect, right? No. Today, she comes up to me at my locker and she's got this fake tattoo on her arm because she's into Skrillex and some jerk ex-boyfriend of hers who's taking her to the Nine Inch Nails concert in Columbus this weekend! She's got a 'musical dark side'; how am I going to live up to that?"

Blaine started to answer, but Sam interrupted.

"Also!" he said, "she's never even heard of True Jackson, VP. Like, okay, if you haven't watched it, that's fine, but –"

"True Jackson, VP?" Blaine asked. "Is that even on anymore?"

"No, it got canceled," Sam said bitterly. "Apparently the people at Nickelodeon don't care about quality entertainment."

Blaine couldn't contain his smile.

"Don't judge me, dude, okay?" Sam scolded as they walked down the hallway together. "I'm badass! I play football and guitar and I've been hillbilly hand fishing. I just happen to like sweet things, too. They relax me, which is why I like her so much."

"But you said that she's into Skrillex and Nine Inch Nails," Blaine recalled, pausing so he could turn and face Sam, "so she clearly isn't exactly what she seems."

"Exactly!" Sam agreed. "She seems like a Katy, but she's secretly a Gaga. And she only dates Gagas and I'm a Katy!"

"Okay, well hold up," Blaine thought about the situation. "Penny likes Gagas and you're a Katy. But, Mr. Schu is making all the Katys sing a Gaga song. So, we bring Penny in to see it and she's gonna get all weak in her Skrillex-lovin' knees and forget all about her douche ex-boyfriend. And you, my friend," Blaine added pleasantly, "will have a new love of your life."

Sam was on board immediately. "Yes," he gasped as they started walking again. "And we can wear crazy costumes – Penny totally asked me about my stripper past, so I've gotta show her some major skin – and it'll be so edgy and cool."

"Exactly," Blaine said happily. "Just because you're a Katy and she's a Gaga doesn't mean you're not meant for each other. It just means you've got to find that first spark of common ground! I mean, look at me and Kurt. He's an amazing Gaga, and I'm pretty solidly a Katy, and we're getting married."

"That makes me feel so much better," Sam confessed, relieved, as the reached the choir room to rejoin Marley, Artie, and Ryder.

"Alright," Blaine said as he and Sam walked over to where the trio was gathered around the piano watching the Applause music video on Artie's phone, "we've got five costumes to make, so let's get to work."

KURT

That afternoon, between his final class of the day at NYADA and his shift at the diner, Kurt stopped to submit an ad for auditions for his new band and, as a result, was almost half an hour late to work.

"Where have you been?" Rachel hissed at him when he finally arrived. "You said you were only gonna be five minutes late!"

"Sorry," Kurt mouthed before explaining, "I was at Cooper Square. I was putting an ad in the Village Voice for my new band!"

"Wait," Dani said from behind the counter, "you're starting a new band?"

"Yes!" Kurt confirmed proudly. "Yes, well I sort of have to because Adam kicked me out of the Adam's Apples when he found out I was engaged."

The news of Kurt's engagement had been the last straw that broke any chance he had of maintaining even a casual acquaintance relationship with Adam. Adam had been civil about it, asking politely if Kurt would please resign from the Adam's Apples, but it had still been pretty awkward.

"Well, what kind of band are you starting?" Dani asked, leaning forward on the counter, interested. "Are you taking girls?"

"Well, originally I was thinking of a Madonna cover band," Kurt explained, "but I think I want it to be more organic than that. So, yes, girls will be in it. And... I was hoping the three of you could spare me the agony of open auditions by signing up?"

Dani looked enthusiastic, Santana looked skeptical, and Rachel looked hesitant.

"I don't know, Kurt," Rachel said. "I think it's just a little too soon."

"Rachel," Kurt scolded gently, "Finn wouldn't want you sitting on the sidelines while life passes you by."

"I know!" Rachel agreed. "It's just that, with whatever strength and creative energy I have, it has to go towards Funny Girl. I think that joining a band right now would just be a little too much, but... thanks."

"Well," Dani informed him as Rachel walked away, "you've got me!"

"Yes!" Kurt celebrated.

"What about you, babe?" Dani turned to look at Santana.

"Okay, I guess," Santana agreed reluctantly. Dani applauded rapidly, excited. "But listen, if we're going to be a part of this band, we don't just get to help with the set list. We also get a say on who joins, right?"

"Sure, as long as you don't go all crazy Nicki Minaj on me," Kurt allowed. "I'll see you at auditions!"

"...I rented out the NYADA dance studio for the auditions tomorrow," Kurt explained the situation to Blaine that evening, carrying his laptop around the loft after he got home from work. "I'm so nervous. And excited!"

"That's so amazing," Blaine encouraged him. "Has anyone replied to the ad yet?"

"Just one person, last time I checked," Kurt explained. "Which was five minutes ago."

Blaine laughed. "I'm sure a bunch of people won't bother to respond; they'll just show up," he assumed.

"Yeah," Kurt agreed. "I'm hoping for maybe ten people. We just need one more person since Santana and Dani are on board already. Probably a guy, right? Is four people a decent number for a band? Maybe we should try five."

"I think four or five would work," Blaine said, furrowing his brow as he thought about it. "And I agree that you probably want to try to find another guy. Although, you plus three girls could be great, too."

"Want to come audition?" Kurt teased.

"I wish," Blaine pouted. "I miss you. We're doing Katy Perry vs. Lady Gaga in glee club this week, and you're the most talented Gaga I know."

"Aww," Kurt approved. "If you're singing a Katy Perry song, you better recruit someone to record it for me. I have a weakness."

The compliment had the desired effect. Blaine ducked his head, flattered. "Actually," he explained, "Mr. Schu switched things up, so I'm doing Applause with Sam, Artie, Marley, and Ryder."

"Oh my god, I'm so jealous," Kurt whined. "Are you doing costumes?"

"Yes," Blaine nodded. "Mine is that one from the Applause video with the green jacket and the silver horse tail, you know?"

"You're going to look so hot," Kurt predicted as he imagined Blaine in the costume.

"More like 'so ridiculous'," Blaine rolled his eyes.

"And you wouldn't look ridiculous with a bright blue wig and a candy bra?" Kurt laughed. "It's hot because it's weird, Blaine."

"I didn't know you were into that," Blaine flirted.

"I might be," Kurt teased him.

"Mmm," Blaine wiggled his head playfully. "I'll remember that."

"So... you're doing Lady Gaga for Nationals?" Kurt wondered why Mr. Schu had chosen a Katy vs. Gaga assignment for the week.

"I guess we're not really sure yet," Blaine explained. "But, oh my god, me and Tina were the only ones who even knew who Throat Explosion was when Mr. Schu read us the list of our Nationals' competition this afternoon."

"And you're surprised because...?" Kurt grinned at Blaine's indignant tone of voice.

"You'd think they would at least try!" Blaine complained. "We are the reigning national champions. We cannot be this lazy."

"I'm sorry," Kurt frowned with him.

"It's fine," Blaine sighed dramatically. "Let's change the subject. How's Rachel?"

"She's okay," Kurt told him. "She's better, anyway. She's still sad about Finn, though."

"I'm sure," Blaine said softly.

"But," Kurt said before the conversation turned down a gloomy path, "she started vocal rehearsal this week! I've never had Don't Rain On My Parade stuck in my head so often in my life."

Blaine smiled. "I can't wait to see it," he said excitedly. "The show. I mean, it's probably at least six months away at this point, but wow. Broadway."

"You'll be living here by then," Kurt realized.

"Don't jinx it!" Blaine scolded. "I haven't been accepted to NYADA yet."

"And if you're not accepted to NYADA, you're just going to stay in Ohio?" Kurt teased.

"Well, no," Blaine realized. "I'm coming as soon as graduation's over, no matter what. We've waited so long; I'm ready to just be us again, in the same place, taking the world by storm together."

KURT

The next day, Kurt, Santana, and Dani got to NYADA's dance studio plenty early before auditions were scheduled to begin just in case someone came early. Dani decided that she wanted to play with the band instead of just watching the auditions, so Kurt and Santana sat down at a table and watched her warm up with the other band members until it was time to get started.

Nobody came.

"So, how long do we have to wait here?" Dani asked after half an hour of nothing.

"This is humiliating," Kurt sighed heavily. "I spent all my tip money renting out this room because I thought we'd have a turnout!"

"What did you expect?" Santana scolded. "No one's going to try out for a band that doesn't even have a name. Although I came up with an amazing one."

"Okay, we are not naming the band The Apocalipsticks, okay?" Kurt reiterated a conversation they had had the afternoon before. "I am manifesting the perfect name, alright? It takes time."

"Yeah, and, in the meantime, no one signs up," Santana tapped the sign-in sheet with her pen.

"One person did," Kurt picked up the sign-in sheet to look at the name he had written down, "but they obviously chickened out. Maybe it's for the best. I mean, who names himself 'Starchild'?"

"It's an homage," an unfamiliar voice explained from the doorway, "to Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars."

Kurt looked up as Starchild walked into the room, tall and handsome under his makeup and heavy eyeliner. But all Kurt could focus on was his sparkly black suit and a top hat.

This was a character, not a person.

"Sorry I'm late," Starchild said to Kurt and Santana. "People kept stopping me on the street asking if they could take their picture with me."

"Yeah, 'cause you look freaking badass!" Dani exclaimed, pleased with his distinctive look.

"Thanks," Starchild turned to look at her before turning his attention back to Kurt and Santana. "I did design and sew this costume myself."

Kurt felt the familiar, unwelcome prickle of jealousy clawing its way into his mind. The costume was outrageous, but it was impeccably made.

"It's a little Project Runway," Kurt tried to downplay the suit. "Season six. Have you prepared a song?"

"Yeah, of course," Starchild said pleasantly. He turned to walk to the microphone stand. "It's by one of my favorite artists. Somebody that always inspires me to be myself, no matter what... other people think."

He motioned vaguely in Kurt's direction, and Kurt shifted uncomfortably in his seat, embarrassed.

His embarrassment quickly turned to shock as Starchild sang Lady Gaga's Marry the Night and absolutely owned the performance. There was no denying that Starchild had complete control over the room as he performed. And his vocal range was incredible.

"Yes!" Santana shrieked with joy when the performance ended. She jumped to her feet. "Bravo!"

Kurt didn't know what to say. This was not what he expected.

"I would not be embarrassed to share the stage with you," Santana gushed.

"Thank you," Starchild ducked his head.

"You just rocked it so hard," Dani approved.

"Thank you for your time, Starchild," Kurt said, "but it's not a fit."

Santana turned on him. "Are you insane?" She questioned. She turned to Starchild again. "I'm sorry, would you mind just stepping outside for a moment while I bitch slap some sense into my friend?"

"No, I don't need a minute, okay?" Kurt said firmly. "I've made my decision, alright?" He looked at Starchild. "Your aesthetic is striking, Starchild, but it's a little... outré for the team that I'm assembling. But, if you're willing to tone down your look, maybe I'd reconsider."

Starchild raised his eyebrows, surprised and disappointed. "Uh, okay," he nodded. He picked up his hat from the floor by the window (where he had thrown it during the performance) and walked to the door. "Well, thanks for the opportunity to audition," he said kindly. "Bye."

"Are you stupid?" Santana hissed as soon as Starchild walked out the door.

"No," Kurt snapped. "I just have a very clear vision for this band, and he does not fit."

"This band is going to be an utter failure," Santana rolled her eyes. "I'm out of here."

Dani offered Kurt a guilty grimace as Santana pulled her out the door.

"Sorry about this," Kurt said to the band. "Thanks, though."

The band left, and Kurt sat alone in the dance studio and thought about his band.

Distinctiveness was a good thing. It was what made people remember you. But Kurt wanted a band that could, possibly, find mainstream success, which was why he had decided to nix his initial idea of a Madonna cover band. This wasn't just about fun, not this time. This was about trying to create something that could make some money and find a broad audience.

Starchild would appeal to some people, but not to others. And Kurt wasn't even sure what genre of music the band would eventually settle into. He couldn't really imagine Starchild sitting on a stool singing a lovely ballad. His costume, the wild persona, would be a distraction.

Plus, Kurt admitted to himself, this currently-unnamed band he was starting was supposed to be his band. Could he handle possibly being overshadowed in his own band?

He wasn't sure.

BLAINE

"Alright, Gagas," Sam announced that afternoon as he, Blaine, Artie, Marley, and Ryder assembled in the auditorium to discuss their Gaga performance. "I'm taking over this Monster Ball. Since I'm obviously the edgiest one in the group, and as a former teen stripper, I understand the power of theatricality and performativity."

Performativity isn't a word, Blaine thought, but he kept his mouth shut.

"Yeah, but what are they building?" Ryder asked, motioning around at the large set being built on the stage.

"The future, right?" Sam explained. "They're building the future, alright? We're gonna get scary and weird and controversial."

"Uh, hence the catwalk?" Blaine wondered, looking at the extension to the stage that had been added overnight.

"We're taking in the audience, Blaine, right in their faces!" Sam said passionately. "And we're gonna drop-kick the fourth wall!"

It all seemed a little excessive to Blaine, but he was glad that Sam had a clear vision. This was Sam's project.

"Are those strobe lights?" Artie asked, pointing above them.

"Believe it!" Sam confirmed.

"Because some kids might be epileptic," Artie worried.

"Is it a seizure or is it just hardcore, next-level break dancing?" Sam contemplated. "I don't know!"

Blaine narrowed his eyes at Sam as Artie turned and looked at him, displeased.

"Come on, guys, I need sick ideas!" Sam said loudly. "If we're gonna impress Penny, this thing has to be so crazy that it's declared legally, clinically insane!"

"What if we had, like, sparklers, but... we're inside!" Marley suggested eagerly. "That's crazy!"

Blaine reached over and rubbed her arm briefly. Honey.

"Yeah!" Ryder agreed. "Yeah, yeah, or confetti, only shaped like human skulls!"

"No!" Sam disagreed. "No, no, no, no, no! No, those ideas suck! You're not thinking edgy and fresh, you're thinking safe and tired and boring!"

Blaine wasn't sure what to say.

"Okay, look," Sam walked over and started handing them sheets of paper, "here, take this sheet music for Applause, okay? Learn it. Own it. Live it. And then strap in because hey! Hey, hey Artie," he snapped his fingers to make sure Artie was paying attention. "We're not doing this for glee club. We're doing this in front of the entire school. And yes, Penny the school nurse will be in attendance. Now, if you'll excuse me... I'm gonna go guarantee us a sold out show."

"How're you gonna do that?" Marley asked as Blaine fought back the urge to comment that they weren't selling tickets.

"The same way Gaga would," Sam explained. "By recruiting some Little Monsters."

He hurried away, and Blaine and the others stared after him.

"Is he okay?" Ryder wondered.

"Sometimes," Blaine said, "you just have to let him work things out for himself."

While Sam was off doing whatever he was doing to try to advertise their performance, Blaine and the others went to the choir room to continue working on their costumes.

Marley's was the first one they finished because it was the smallest: a sea shell bikini. Even with the help of a few of the students from the school's Renaissance Fair club, the rest of the costumes were going to be hard to finish by the time they wanted to do the performance, but Marley's was easy because they had just attached shell shapes to the cups of a bra, and that was it.

"Why don't you try it on?" Blaine suggested. "To make sure it fits." If it did, they could cross Marley's costume off the list and she could help the rest of them finish their costumes.

Marley went off down the hallway to the bathroom to change, but she didn't return for more than fifteen minutes.

"How hard is it to put on a bra and some shorts?" Ryder mumbled.

Blaine shushed him and stood up from where he was trying to attach a long, shiny silver tail to his costume. "Let me go see if she needs help or something," he suggested.

He knocked on the girls' bathroom door and pushed it open slightly. "Marley?"

"I can't," Marley said immediately. "I can't wear this."

"May I come in?" Blaine wondered.

"I guess," Marley said dejectedly.

She was hiding in one of the bathroom stalls.

"Come on," Blaine encouraged her, tapping on the stall door. "Does it fit? Let's see it."

Reluctantly, Marley opened the door and stepped out into the main section of the bathroom.

"You look great!" Blaine said as she slowly twirled around, showing him the outfit from all sides. "You've got an amazing body," he added, remembering Marley's struggle with an eating disorder earlier in the year. Maybe they should've chosen a less revealing look for her.

"That's not..." Marley looked at herself in the mirror. "This isn't me."

"That's the idea, right?" Blaine encouraged her.

"I'm not comfortable," Marley said.

"We can add some material to the middle," Blaine suggested, motioning to her bare stomach. "Make it more like a single piece?"

Marley shook her head. "No," she disagreed. "It's fine, whatever."

"Are you sure?" Blaine asked.

"Yeah," Marley said, and she disappeared back into the bathroom stall and closed the door.

KURT

That evening, Kurt was adding a silver border to the lapels of one of his suit jackets, enjoying focusing on something other than his doubts about whether or not he had done the right thing by turning Starchild away, when Rachel emerged from her room.

"So, Santana showed me Starchild's amazing audition video," Rachel said, "and she said that you passed on him because you didn't want to share the 'lavender limelight' with anyone?"

"Rachel, it's a band, alright?" Kurt told her. "If I was afraid of sharing the limelight with someone, I would do a solo show at the Duplex about my obsession with Broadway divas."

It wasn't completely a lie. He didn't mind sharing the spotlight, as long as he got to spend some time there.

"Why did you do that?" Rachel tried to figure out his motive for not asking Starchild to be part of the band. "You know, he is really something special."

"Like I said before," Kurt explained as Rachel climbed onto his bed and sat in the middle, watching him pin the jacket, "Starchild's look... it's just too edgy. It's too out there. It's... it's not what I want for this band."

"Okay, and what is that, exactly?" Rachel inquired as Kurt turned away from his jacket to look at her.

"I dunno, mainstream acceptance and success for once?" he suggested. "Look, I've been doing this weirdo, quirky, fabulous, outrageous, sidekick best friend thing for a while and it hasn't gotten me very far."

"It got you to New York!" Rachel disagreed, motioning around them. "It got you into NYADA!"

"Does that give me financial security?" Kurt argued. "A mass audience? A song on the radio?"

"Since when is that what you want?" Rachel asked.

"Maybe since I moved to New York and saw one of my friends book a Broadway show and another one a national commercial," Kurt confessed.

He walked over to a chair in the corner of his room and sat down.

"Look, Rachel," he said, "there's nothing wrong with wanting to be that thing that everyone likes. That thing that everyone wants to see and hear, you know? That doesn't offend or challenge anyone."

"That's not you," Rachel pushed back. "You're more specific."

"Which is code for 'fringe', which is code for 'unsuccessful', which is code for 'you'll never make it in the big leagues, kid, stop trying'!" Kurt replied bitterly.

"I know it's not my band," Rachel acknowledged, "so I'm not going to tell you what to do. But, as your best friend and your biggest fan, what I love the most about you is that you don't try to do or be what anyone else is doing, okay? You make your own path."

That was something Kurt had always liked about himself, too. But he was so tired of being the odd one in his group of friends. He didn't want to be an acquired taste for the rest of his life.

"It's so hard sometimes," he said unhappily.

"I know," Rachel replied. "But it's gonna be worth it in the long run, I promise you. Your brand? It's gonna be huge. Look at Madonna! She was performing in the East Village and then she was on the Super Bowl, okay? That's going to be you, I know it."

Kurt hoped so. And it felt good to hear Rachel saying such nice things about him.

"You are a true talent, Kurt," Rachel said, climbing off his bed. "But I think, you know, that Starchild might be as well. And, luckily, it might not be too late for you to call him back."

"I wish," Kurt said to himself as Rachel walked away. "I don't even have his phone number. Or his real name."

He decided to call Blaine to ask his opinion.

"Hey, you," Blaine said brightly.

"Hi," Kurt smiled. Blaine always sounded so happy to hear his voice. It made Kurt feel warm inside every time. "Do you have a minute?"

"Of course," Blaine confirmed. "What's up?"

"There was only one guy today at the auditions," Kurt told him. "And, you know, whatever, my mistake for having a lackluster ad, I guess, but... he was really good."

"Great!" Blaine said. "But... you don't sound excited."

"I panicked," Kurt admitted. "He was this flashy guy, with a crazy, sparkly suit and top hat and I just don't see that as what I want my band to be."

"So, you turned him down," Blaine guessed.

"Right," Kurt told him. "But now I've had a change of heart and I have no way to contact him."

"Why not?" Blaine didn't understand.

"He just gave us the name 'Starchild'," Kurt explained. "It's his stage name. So, who knows who is really is or where he lives or if he even has a phone?"

"Did you search online?" Blaine suggested. "'Starchild' is a unique name."

"I couldn't find anything," Kurt said. "There's a StarChild project run by NASA and some kind of creepy alien child skull that's called Starchild, but nothing about the guy I'm looking for."

"Huh," Blaine understood. "Well... you could run another ad?"

"Eh, too 'romantic comedy'," Kurt laughed. "I think I'll ask around at NYADA before I try anything like that."

"Good idea," Blaine approved.

"Um, also, on a semi-related note," Kurt said, speaking quickly before his insecurity could stop him from asking the question, "do you think I'm too 'fringe'?"

"What?" Blaine asked.

"Like, in general," Kurt tried to explain. "People always use words like 'unique' or 'special' when it comes to me, but don't you think they really just mean 'weird'? And not in a good way?"

"No," Blaine scolded, "of course not. You are unique. You are special. You're the most unique and special person I know."

"What does that mean, though?" Kurt wondered. "Isn't that just another way of saying that I'm the furthest from 'normal' of anyone you know?"

"What that means," Blaine said firmly, "is that there is nobody else in the world like you, Kurt. You don't remind people of someone else or bore people with the same things a million other people have to offer. Everything about you – your look, your voice, your heart – is memorable because it's a breath of fresh air in a world full of 'normal'."

"Do you really believe that?" Kurt pressed, still unsure. He knew Blaine didn't want to hurt his feelings. "Don't you sort of have to say that, as my fiancé?"

"What your fiancé wants to say," Blaine said firmly, "is that you are the most amazing man that has ever lived and that anyone who doesn't give you a chance to show them that fact isn't worth a second glance. What your fiancé wants to say is that he loves you more than anything and that he believes in you, always."

"Okay," Kurt teased to combat the tears in his eyes, "I'm starting to feel better."

"I'm serious, Kurt," Blaine said softly.

"Me too," Kurt reassured him. "Sometimes I just wish that things were easier."

"I know," Blaine replied. "Maybe one day it will be."

"I love you," Kurt said. "How was your day?"

"Fine," Blaine told him. "Sam's having a bit of a meltdown about impressing Penny – the school nurse, did I tell you this before? – with our Lady Gaga performance tomorrow, but it's making him really focused so it's actually been kind of fun."

"How's the costume?" Kurt smiled.

"Not the most comfortable thing I've ever worn," Blaine laughed. "And now there's a wig, too, which is probably my favorite part. It's fun to fling your hair around."

"I can't wait to see the video," Kurt confessed. "The one thing I miss about glee club, other than you, of course, is getting to dress up in a crazy costume for a big, crazy number in the auditorium."

"Do you– wait, hold on," Blaine said, distracted. "Yeah, yeah, okay. Kurt?"

"You have to go?" Kurt guessed.

"Sorry," Blaine apologized.

"It's fine," Kurt reassured him. "It's late, anyway. I love you."

"I love you, too," Blaine said warmly. "Goodnight, Kurt."

"Goodnight," Kurt echoed. "Talk to you tomorrow. Bye!"

BLAINE

The next day, Blaine, Sam, Artie, Ryder, and Marley did their Applause performance, but it didn't go exactly as planned. In the excitement of getting dressed and ready for the song, none of the guys realized that Marley wasn't around and, when she finally reappeared, skipping onto the stage to join the performance, she wasn't wearing the costume they had made for her. She was dressed as Katy Perry.

Other than the distracting and unauthorized costume change, the performance went perfectly, but Sam was not happy when they finished.

"What happened to the seashell bikini?" he turned on Marley.

"I wasn't comfortable!" she retorted.

"Well, get over yourself!" Sam scolded. "You think I'm just comfortable up here with no shirt on?"

"Yeah, you probably are," Marley guessed.

"Well, I'm not exactly loving this giant white thing that keeps getting caught in my wheels," Artie spoke up.

"Yeah," Blaine said, annoyed that she hadn't just come to them to have them alter the Gaga outfit until she felt comfortable, "and I look like Siegfried and Roy and I still did it."

"It was the assignment," Ryder reminded her.

"Okay, I'm sorry, you guys!" Marley said. "But I am who I am and I'm not going to change that for any number or any guy!"

"Marley, we're all trying to win a championship here, as a team," Mr. Schu said, standing up from his seat in the audience. "But you put your personal agenda above that. I'm sorry, but you're suspended for the rest of the week."

"Oh, snap!" Becky declared from her seat.

As much as he appreciated Marley's sentiment of not changing who she was for anyone, Blaine agreed with the punishment. This week's lesson wasn't about showing the world your true self. It was about pushing all of them out of their comfort zones to strengthen the team in preparation for Nationals. Plus, Marley had deliberately misled them, her teammates, and that was not the kind of thing they needed with Nationals only a few weeks away.

Blaine and the other guys went backstage to get changed out of their costumes.

"Did the video turn out?" Blaine asked Artie when they had finally finished changing into their normal clothes and washing off their stage makeup.

"Yeah," Artie confirmed, holding Blaine's phone out so he could have it back. They had set up three phones – Blaine's, Artie's, and Ryder's – on little tripods to record the show from different angles, and Artie was going to edit the footage together that evening. "I'll send you the link tonight."

Blaine texted Kurt a few photos of him in the crazy Gaga costume. Video coming later tonight!

Kurt texted him back a few minutes later. Oh my god, I'm at work. We will talk about this later.

KURT

Kurt was glad he was in the kitchen when Blaine's photos came through, because he couldn't contain his squeak of delight when he saw Blaine's Gaga outfit. He would've been embarrassed if any customers had witnessed his little outburst.

The costume was a little different than the one in the music video – Blaine's showed more skin – but it was a great interpretation. And Kurt thought Blaine looked as attractive as ever. Edgy, which was something new and interesting.

After a moment spent leaning back against the wall, composing himself, Kurt put his phone away and went back to work.

"Hello, welcome to the Spotlight," Kurt recited, barely paying attention as he walked up to a new customer who was sitting alone at a booth near the window, "I'm Kurt, I'll be your chorus boy waiter today. Uh, can I start you off with one of our signature orange freezes...?"

It was Starchild.

Only, it wasn't.

"First, can I ask you something?" Starchild teased, removing the pair of glasses he was wearing so Kurt could see his face clearly. "Is this toned down enough?"

He looked completely ordinary. Handsome and well-styled, but nothing like the wild character he had been the first time Kurt had met him.

"Oh my god, Starchild," Kurt gasped.

"It's Elliott Gilbert, actually," Elliott introduced himself. "Do you have a minute to talk?"

"Yeah," Kurt glanced around and announced to the room "I– I'm taking an intermission! That's how we say 'I'm taking a break' here," he explained to Elliott as he sat down across the table from him. "We have to say it, otherwise we get fined. Um, I'm so happy to see you. I've been trying to find you since your audition."

"Same," Elliott confessed. "Hence... my stalking you." He motioned outward at the diner.

Kurt was pretty sure it was a joke.

"So, I'm just going to come right out and say this," Elliott continued, speaking quickly and earnestly. "I need to be in your band. I mean, I came to New York to be in your band. Something cool and fun and special."

"Well, here's hoping," Kurt said. "Uh, came from where? If you say Ohio I'm gonna die."

"Paramus," Elliott told him, "New Jersey. Land of malls."

"Oh," Kurt acknowledged.

"As soon as I was old enough, I used to take New Jersey transit into the city to see shows and concerts and go to museums," Elliott said. "So, I only applied to colleges in New York."

"Oh, do you go to NYADA too?" Kurt wondered. He had asked around in some of his classes, but nobody had known Starchild.

"No," Elliott clarified, "NYU. I... didn't get into NYADA."

"Huh?" Kurt stared at him in disbelief.

"But it's cool," Elliott played it off. "I mean, I'm doing things all over the city, and one of the things on my artist bucket list... is to be in an indie band."

Kurt nodded.

"So, if Starchild's too much for you," Elliott said, "I can be whoever you want."

Kurt laughed briefly, unable to believe his good luck. He didn't want Elliott to change who he was to be in the band, but if Elliott joined the band, instead of Starchild, Kurt thought he couldn't possibly have found a better fourth band member.

"I just wanted to make an impression," Elliott explained.

"You did," Kurt reassured him. "And, after a lot of soul searching, I've come to the conclusion that the greatest chance for my band, and my brand, to be successful is to surround myself with the best people. And, although there wasn't much of it, you blew the competition away."

"So, I can audition again?" Elliott asked, hopeful.

"No," Kurt shook his head, "you're in. As Elliott Gilbert, as Starchild, or someone in between. Whoever you wanna be."

"Intermission's over," Santana called from behind him. "And you have a fiancé, so stop flirting."

"Santana!" Kurt twisted around in his seat to look at her. "This is Elliott Gilbert... aka Starchild!"

"Oh!" Santana did a double-take. "Well, hot damn!"

"And," Kurt said as he turned back to face Elliott, "I hope, the newest member of our band?"

Elliott smiled and ducked his head.

"Absolutely," he agreed.

"Perfect!" Kurt said, bouncing slightly in his seat. It was really happening. He was really starting a band. "Okay, well, I probably should really get back to work, but..." he pulled his phone out of his pocket and slid it across the table to Elliott, "I need some way to contact you."

BLAINE

The next morning, Blaine was in a great mood when he arrived at McKinley. He had spent a long portion of the previous evening talking to Kurt on the phone, and the conversation had been lighthearted and flirty and good. Blaine told Kurt about the drama with Marley and sent him the link to the video Artie had put together of the Applause performance. Kurt told Blaine about finding Elliott. (The band's first rehearsal was scheduled for Friday night.) And then, a conversation about how much Kurt liked Blaine's Gaga costume had led to their least awkward round of phone sex so far. It had been a good night.

He ran into Sam in the hallway near his locker before his first class and received some additional good news.

"Hey! Okay, so, you know how I thought Penny was a Gaga? Well, surprise! She's a Katy and was just pretending to be a Gaga!"

"Kind of like you," Blaine teased him.

"Exactly!" Sam confirmed. "And we talked about it, and made out a little, and she's totally into me."

"You... okay," Blaine shook his head. "Well, congratulations! That's great!"

Sam brought Nurse Penny to the auditorium with him that afternoon as Blaine and the other Katys watched Kitty, Jake, Tina, and Unique sing a beautiful, simple version of Katy Perry's Wide Awake.

"Alright," Mr. Schu addressed everyone when the song was over. "Great job this week, everyone! Tomorrow, let's do one more number, all together as a group."

"Katy Perry or Lady Gaga?" Ryder asked.

"A vote?" Mr. Schu suggested. "All in favor of a Katy song tomorrow?"

Blaine, Ryder, Artie, Sam, and Jake raised their hands.

"Traitor!" Unique scolded Jake.

"Well," Mr. Schu said, "that's the majority. Katy Perry it is. See you guys tomorrow!"

KURT

Kurt's band had its first meeting in the loft on Friday afternoon. Their goal was to choose a name for the band, but they were easily distracted.

"So," Elliott asked, "in the diner the other day, Santana said something about your... fiancé?"

Kurt wiggled his left hand in the air, showing off the ring. "His name's Blaine," he explained.

"I thought she might just be lying to give you a reason to get away from me," Elliott laughed. "Wow."

"Don't get him started, please," Santana whined. Dani smacked her arm.

"Is he here, in New York?" Elliott wondered.

"No," Kurt shook his head. "Not yet. He's still in Ohio –"

"What he means is he's still in high school," Santana added.

"–but," Kurt ignored her, "he's moving here over the summer."

"Right," Elliott understood. Kurt couldn't tell what he was thinking.

It took them a few more minutes of chatting about their pasts and their lives in New York to finally get back on track, searching for a name for their newly-formed band.

After nearly forty minutes of brainstorming, they had nothing.

"What if we name our band... the Nip Slips," Dani suggested from her place on the couch beside Santana. "Boob lovers of all genders will show up, for sure."

"Um, it worked for the Barenaked Ladies," Elliott sat up from where he had been lounging on the floor on the other side of the coffee table, "and they were guys."

"Sure, we'll just call ourselves the Areolas," Kurt disapproved.

"Nope, Areola 51... get the sci-fi geeks," Santana said. She wrote it down.

"I was being sarcastic," Kurt clarified.

"No, actually you were just being the no-bot," Santana said, agitated. "How about you pitch something instead of shooting down everything that we're coming up with?"

"Okay, I don't have it yet," Kurt explained. "But I'll know it when I hear it."

The door to the loft slid open behind him, and Kurt twisted around in his chair as Rachel walked in.

"Oh, yo, girl, how was rehearsal?" Santana asked.

"It was sad," Rachel said as she walked toward them. "I sang My Man all day, which was kind of depressing."

"Aw, we have comfort food if you want a slice," Kurt offered.

"No, I'm good," Rachel declined, tugging off her jacket. "What are you guys doing?"

"Beating our heads up against the wall trying to come up with a name for our band that pleases the queen," Santana said, motioning at Kurt.

"Why don't you call yourselves... Pamela Lansbury?" Rachel teased.

Kurt whipped his head around to look at her.

Yes.

"No– I was kidding," Rachel laughed.

"Rachel, you're a genius!" Kurt said. He turned back to the group. "A band with the raw sex appeal of Pamela Anderson and the quiet dignity of Angela Lansbury!"

It was perfect.

"Okay," Kurt turned to Rachel, "now you have to join!"

"No, I can't, I told you!" Rachel resisted.

"Rachel, I'm serious, okay?" Kurt stood up and walked over to stand in front of her. "No more Funny Girl excuses! When Barbara was doing Fanny, she still had time to sing for the President and Lady Bird Johnson, pose for the cover of Time magazine, and sing Happy Days Are Here Again to adoring nightclub audiences all around the country! Now, you can do this!"

"Okay," Rachel agreed, "you had me at Lady Bird Johnson."

"Yes!" Kurt exclaimed, throwing his arms around her for a hug. The rest of the group voiced their approval, too, and Kurt felt like everything was so right. This was his band.

"Okay," he said to the group, "let's get to work."

BLAINE

Meanwhile, in Ohio, Mr. Schu asked New Directions to come to rehearsal in their Katy and Gaga costumes so they could take a group photo. They posed together in the choir room for the snapshot and then settled down into their seats for a music theory lesson.

"... and that is why math and music will be friends to the end," Mr. Schu summarized at the end of his short lecture.

"You guys," Tina suddenly ran into the room (she had left the room a few minutes earlier to go to the bathroom), "Throat Explosion just tweeted out that they're doing Applause as one of their Nationals numbers!"

"So?" Ryder said. "Big deal, we'll just do another Lady Gaga song."

"They're mocking us!" Blaine explained, jumping to his feet, indignant. "They're saying they're so confident they're going to win they're even going to give us a little head start by telling us what their set list is!"

"Seriously," Artie wailed as Blaine sat back down, "we should just forfeit now–"

"Guys!" Mr. Schu interrupted. "Guys, just calm down! So, our competition is good! So was Vocal Adrenaline. And the Warblers. And thank god for that! If there's anything we can learn from this week's lesson, it's that other people's greatness makes our greatness even greater! Gaga and Katy, they push each other to try harder, to get better, to be bolder. At the end of the day, all of the friendly competition between those two just means more really amazing music for all of us. I mean, I hope Throat Explosion is unstoppable. Because then we know we have to be unstoppable, too."

"You think he had that in his mind all week, or did he just make it up on the spot?" Jake whispered.

"What are you talking about?" Ryder scolded quietly. "Mr. Schu's such a genius."

"This week, we saw what it was like to face our weaknesses and turn them into strengths," Mr. Schu continued. "We split up. But now, for our last number, we're going to come together as one unified group."

"Oh, please let it be another Journey song!" Sue interrupted as she walked into the room. "There's gotta be one left! Hello glee club," she said as she walked over to stand beside Mr. Schu. "Hi, William."

"Sue," Mr. Schu greeted her.

"You know, I was sitting in my office, organizing my collection of custom-made bobble heads of my sworn enemies," Sue told him, "and, just to the right of Henry Kissinger and Drake, well, I saw your hair helmet just bobbling up and down, and I realized... well, I haven't marched in here and brought down the hammer in way too long."

She turned and looked at New Directions.

"You're all suspended for a week."

Blaine shook his head. What was her problem with them?

"Wait, Sue, you can't –" Mr. Schu argued.

"I can do that and I just did it, William," Sue told him. "There are rules about what kids can wear to school and these rejects from the cutting room floor of a Tod Browning movie are in violation of each and every one of them."

Blaine glanced down at his outfit. It probably was in violation of at least one part of the school's dress code.

"Okay, what rules?" Mr. Schu countered. "The glee club has been walking around in costumes for four years."

"Well, that was B.S.: 'before Sue'," Sue explained. "One week suspension, starting now."

Sue and Mr. Schu continued to argue for a moment, but Sue's word was final.

"Even though I don't know your names, you band geeks are suspended, too!" Sue pointed at the band before she walked out of the room.

New Directions went to the auditorium and performed Roar anyway, despite Sue's insistence that they were banned from attending glee club rehearsal for a week. They had fun singing and dancing and swinging across the stage on a fake vine hanging from the ceiling, and Blaine was pleasantly exhausted by the time he got home that night.

Hey! Kurt texted him late that night. Are you still awake?

Yes, Blaine replied.

I have a video for you, Kurt told him.

A few seconds later, another message came through, this time with a link.

May I present... Pamela Lansbury's very first rehearsal! In honor of my sweet, Katy Perry-loving fiancé.

Blaine watched the video of Kurt and his new band singing Roar in the loft three times before he replied.

I love you so much. Thank you!

Love you, too, Kurt replied. Thanks for all your support this week. And always.

Up next... 5x05: The End Of Twerk!