Sorry it took so long guys I've had a lot of school stuff to take care of lately. But here it is!

Forgot to say the first time, this is a sequel to the previous chapter, Feeling Unloved. Please Review! Thanks!

Ch. 8-Feeling Wanted

The world had gone completely dark. Raph couldn't feel his body, but he was vaguely aware of himself.

I may not have a body, and I can't see anything, and yet, I can hear my thoughts. Could it be... that I'm trapped in my subconscious mind? Well I guess I could try and find the last thing I can remember…the battle, my brothers and then-nothing. All of a sudden a wave of panic swept over him and his mind filled with frantic and unanswered questions. What happened? Why can't I remember? Where are my brothers? Are they okay? Where the shell am I?

Wait a minute…Shredder! The battle! He was going for Mikey…I jumped—So that was it. He'd been injured in the battle with Shredder and was now stuck in some dark 'limbo' state or something. A place between life and death. His mind answered.

Suddenly a bright light shone through the darkness, startling him. After a few moments, he began to move himself toward it.

Slowly Raphael felt as though he was fading, like whatever was left of him was slowly but surely wasting away. For a moment the mutant turtle could have sworn he heard a voice calling him, beckoning him, pulling him in. As he approached, he could feel his senses numbing and going lax, yet for some reason, he had no will to resist. That is until he suddenly found himself being pulled violently back, a familiar voice cutting through the darkness like a knife.

"Raph! Raphael, don't you dare! Don't you dare give up on me! Please fight it, don't let it beat you!"

Donnie? Let what beat me? Give up? On what? Raphael glanced around, taking in his surroundings once again. Oh. I must be…but why would Don be begging me to stay?

It's not like they would care if he was gone…That's why he was one who jumped into dangerous situations. Because he was the most expendable. All four of them knew it. So why did Donnie sound upset? If it had to be one of them, Raphael was glad it was him. It was better this way. Couldn't Donnie see that? Just let me go, Don, he thought, it's time to end this pain, little brother. Raph turned and headed back towards the strange luring light.

Suddenly, Donnie's voice called to him again, "Raph! Please don't give up!" His younger brother was crying, that much could be heard in his voice. Raphael paused, feeling guilty for making his brother cry, he took a couple steps away from the light, difficult as it was to do so. "Please…we need you Raphie!"

Raph gasped. His brothers hadn't called him that since they were seven. At least never in positive context. Michelangelo would tease him with it sometimes, but none of them ever called him that in any seriousness. Until now. I'm going back. Raphael decided, fighting his way away from the light.

For a long time he could sense its presence behind him, but he didn't dare turn around for fear he'd be sucked back in. After a while, he had moved away from the source of the pulling, but he was still in the dark. His senses were slowly returning the further and further he ventured. When Donatello left the room and ventured beyond Raph's ability to sense his presence Raphael felt him go. In all fairness, Donnie probably had to report to the others, but it left Raph feeling more alone than ever before. In spite of the loneliness Raph pushed forward. The darkness was slowly starting to lift, though he still wasn't able to open his eyes. The sheer and utter silence told him that he was most likely in Donatello's lab, their makeshift infirmary when any of them were injured.

Raphael tried to feel his body, but he was still too weak, presumably still trapped in his subconscious, yet still nebulously aware of what was going on around him. No more than five minutes could have passed before he felt another aura sweep into the room, one that the injured turtle had come to associate with responsibility and discipline: Leonardo. For a moment it seemed as though Raph could feel his elder brother's hand gently squeezing his own, but the sensation was lost as quickly as it had come.

"When you make it through this Raph…" There was a long pause. If Raph could feel or move his eyes, he would have rolled them. Really, Fearless? You came in here just to lecture me? "—if you make it through this…" Was that Leo's voice? He sounds so…defeated. Like he fell off his high horse… I wonder why? Why is he so upset? "things are going to be very different, little brother. I promise you that. I love you." Leo?! What in the world…?! Raph ceased any and all attempts he had been making to leave the darkness and froze. He couldn't even remember the last time Leonardo had told him that. Though it was probably back when they were really, really little. "You'll never feel unloved, left-out, or unwanted again, I swear it. I can't believe you've been feeling that way for so long and I never noticed, but I will make it up to you. Please come back to us…to me…Raphael. I love you, Sensei loves you. We all do. We always have and we always will. Don't leave us, brother. You're my equal, I need you, Raphael. We all do." For once, Raphael was glad that he wasn't conscious for one of Leo's confessions.

I can't believe it…Leo… Raphael tried to force his way to consciousness, but he failed and found himself overwhelmed by emotion and fatigue, and he knew that were he physically able he would be crying. He just couldn't believe that Leonardo, the one brother he could never hope to compete or best in combat…or anything at all really, would feel this way about him. The perfect brother, the one he could never quite measure up to. Leo…

But what the elder turtle said next would be seared into the younger turtle's memory for many years to come.

The warm sensation of a soft grip ghosted over his hand once again before he felt his brother draw closer and whisper, "I know I've never told you this, but…I'm so proud of you Raph. How could I not be proud? My little brother is a hero. And ya know…I couldn't ask for a better brother. I love you, Hamato Raphael. Please don't lose this fight, my beloved little brother." Leonardo sounded desperate, like he was about to fall apart. Determination swelled within him and Raph decided he wasn't going to make his brother's suffer any longer.

Raph threw himself headlong into the darkness, trying as hard as he could to return to his brothers, to no avail. The turtle just wasn't strong enough in his weakened state. Leo, I'm right here. I'm right here! He screamed it out loud as he could, but it was no use. Leo couldn't hear him. Raph felt the older turtle leave the room and he made a promise: I'll make it back ta ya, big brother. I swear it.

After visiting Raph in the lab, Leo returned to the main room and frowned at the sight that greeted him. Michelangelo was comforting their very distraught purple-masked brother by sitting him down on the couch and wrapping him up in a blanket, while Sensei had just handed him a cup of tea before returning to the dojo to meditate.

"Donnie."

Brown eyes glanced up at his eldest brother slowly, breathing the tea's relaxing and warm scent, still thoroughly shaken. "Y-yes, L-Leo?"

Leonardo sat next to Donnie and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. Though he probably would have denied it, Leo too, was shaking with uneasiness. Don took in the blue-masked turtle's pained expression and mirrored it instantly. "Y-you've seen him?"

The eldest nodded ad looked at the floor trying to hide the tears that were forming at the corners of his eyes. "Yes," he whispered, his voice coming out hoarse. His breath hitched and neither Donatello nor Michelangelo had ever seen their 'Fearless' brother so upset.

It was Donnie's turn to put a comforting hand on his brother's shoulder as Leo let go and allowed the tears to slide slowly down his face. "Don…Will he ever wake up?"

Donatello stared at the floor and Leo's heart sank.

Michelangelo watched his brothers' exchange, remaining silent, a serious expression fixed on his face. Now was not the time for smiles and laughter. Not while his bro was injured. When Leo asked Don if Raph would wake up, the youngest sibling tensed, but since he was standing behind the couch neither of his brothers noticed. Donatello didn't reply and Leo looked devastated.

Red hot anger flared up inside of Michelangelo and his baby blue eyes narrowed. Without even making a conscious decision to move, he found himself standing in front of his two older brothers. Leo and Donnie jumped when Mikey slammed his fist down on the coffee table in anger, and then stared up at him, nervously.

That day, Leonardo decided that he would rather deal with an angry Raphael than an angry Mikey any day of the week.

"DAMMIT I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! HE MIGHT AS WELL BE DEAD, FROM THE WAY YOU TWO HAVE BEEN TALKING! HIS NAME IS RAPHAEL, SO CALL HIM THAT! IF I WAS RAPH AND I HEARD THE WAY YOU WERE TALKING I'D GO TOO!" Leo shot up from his spot on the couch and grabbed Mikey's shoulders, staring him fearfully and sternly in the face. Michelangelo sighed and quieted down a little, "I know that both of you love him as much as I do. I know that both of you would do anything for him. But you're acting like you've already given up on him and ITS PISSING ME OFF! So, STOP! The only way Raph will ever come back to us is if we have faith in him."

Leonardo stared at his baby brother in shock. When had Mikey grown so wise? He was right of course. There was still hope, and as long as there was hope, Leo was willing to cling to it. Finally, after floundering for a few moments, he glanced back down at Donatello. "Mikey's right, Don. We have to keep up hope, or we'll all tear ourselves apart."

Don shivered taking another long sip of tea and giving his brothers a shaky nod. He set the cup down softly on the coffee table and stood, pushing the blanket off of him. "Come on, l-let's go check on Raph."

As soon as he was halfway through the door Mikey froze. And Leo and Don looked at each other having forgotten Mikey still hadn't seen Raphael in this state.

"It's not as bad as it looks." Don said, his comforting words falling on deaf ears as Michelangelo brushed hurriedly past him and took a seat by his injured brother's side, his baby blue eyes tired and filled with worry. Donatello sighed sadly before he moved over to the machines to check his instruments. He jotted down the readings for what felt like the ten millionth time that day, not paying much attention. As he got to the last number, he wrote it down, and immediately did a double-take. He stared at the number he wrote. Then up at the reading on the machine, then back down at the paper again. Then he flipped through his set of previously recorded readings. He compared the one he'd gotten just a half an hour ago to the one he had now. There was a tremendous difference. But that meant…

Leonardo patted Mikey's shell comfortingly as his little brother held Raph's hand. His dark blue eyes glanced up slowly, to see Donnie check the instruments with a strange look on his face comparing them to some papers on his clipboard. Then he started flipping through them frantically and Leo was at his side in a flash. "Don? Is there something wrong? Is he okay?" Leo asked worriedly.

"I need to talk to you and Mikey." At the sound of his name, the youngest turned to look at them. Leo was about to ask more questions, but Donnie grabbed him and pulled him out of the lab taking the papers and clipboard with him.

As soon as they were out, Don released Leo and closed the lab door gently, then turned to his brothers.

"Donatello what's going on?"

"Leo when you went to see Raph, did you do anything?"

"What?" Leo's deep blue eyes were filled with confusion.

"Did you do anything besides look at him?"

"I didn't touch anything, why? Did something go wrong? Is he okay?"

Donatello held up his hands, "Calm down Leo, I don't care whether or not you touched anything. What did you do?"

"But Why-"

"Leo, ANSWER THE FREAKING QUESTION!" he yelled and Leonardo recoiled.

"I…I just sat down, held his hand and…"

"And what, Leo?"

"And talked to him."

"What did you say?" Don asked, his brown eyes shining.

Leo's cruelean eyes glanced up and met his gaze with a powerful stare. "That's between me and Raphael."

"Well whatever you said, you need to do it again."

Dark blue eyes filled with confusion once again, "What? Why?"

"Raph was right you do ask too many questions." Donnie remarked dryly and Leo rolled his eyes. Don chuckled and then showed his brother the clipboard.

Leo glanced at the readings before handing them back to his smart brother. "So?"

Mikey glanced from one to the other, trying to figure out where the heck Donnie was going with all of this.

"So, look at the difference between the last number here compared to this one here."

Leo raised an eye-ridge. "What about it?"

"Leonardo sometimes you really drive me up a wall." Leo huffed, but Donatello explained anyway. "This number is significantly higher than the reading I took half an hour ago."

"Get to the point Donnie!" Leo chided finally losing his patience.

"It means Raph's coming out of it. He's getting better. Since you went in there half-an-hour ago, he's been steadily improving. You don't have to tell us what you said, but please, whatever it was, go remind him of it again, stay with him. Talk to him."

"A-Alright." Leo said, not sure whether he should tell his brothers what he said or not.

Another three days passed and still Raphael had not woken up, though he had been steadily improving with every passing hour.

"Donnie, I just don't understand. Why isn't he waking up?"

"Be patient Leo, these things take time. It might be a whole 'nother week before he wakes up. He just isn't strong enough to fight his way to consciousness. Give him some time."

"I swear I felt him twitch yesterday!"

"Well, he is improving so minute things like twitches or small movements are bound to occur, but he isn't necessarily going to wake up right away. Look, Sensei, Mikey and I are going to the junkyard for some parts. Just check in on Raph every once in a while, okay?"

Leo sighed, for the past three days his brothers had been making sure that he was near Raphael almost every time he spoke, thinking it was Leo's voice that they believed was guiding Raph back to consciousness, silly as it sounded.

About an hour after Sensei and his brothers had gone, Leonardo sat in the lab with his immediate younger brother. After a long period of consideration he picked up Raph's hand and spoke softly to him. "Hey Raph. It's about time you woke up, don't you think? Every passing day makes me more and more afraid that you're…Come on, please bro, give me a sign, just show me that you're gonna get better." Leo stared at the still form on the lab table and sighed. He stood up to leave when he found himself being held back…

By an emerald green hand catching his wrist.

He whipped around and stared. Raph! Raphael was awake! He was laying on the lab table his eyes barely opened, his grip on Leo's wrist weak, but alive. His small, tired smile made Leo grin back wholeheartedly. "Hey Fearless." Raph's voice sounded gravely and strained, and Leonardo had never been so happy to hear the disdained nickname in his life.

Leo hopped on the edge of the bed and wrapped his arms carefully around his younger-brother's shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug. "Raph, you really scared us. All of us. I was so worried! We all were! Don't you ever pull a stunt like that again! Jumping in front of Shredder's blade like that, are you insane?!"

"It's not like I had a choice, Leo. Mikey was in danger."

"You could have both cleared him, or warned him vocally or something."

"That would have distracted him, or gotten him more hurt. Better me than Mikey."

"Raph, don't, stop…Please don't talk like you're expendable."

"It's the truth."

"No it isn't!" Leo yelled with frustration.

"It's okay Leo, I know I'm a pain-in-the-ass brother who isn't worth your time, but I do love you guys, much as I hate to have to say it."

"Raph-"

"Did you really mean it?" Raphael asked quietly.

"Huh?" Leo canted his head.

"What you said to me, you know, while I was…"

Leo's eyes widened, "Oh, you heard that? Yeah, I was really afraid we-I was going to lose you, and I was desperate. I thought that you would be dead before I'd ever get the chance to tell you how proud I am, and how much you meant to me. But now…you're okay, so…"

Awkward silence.

Raph decided it was time he, too, made a confession, "You've always been my idol, Leo. The person I strived to be like. The person I've always wanted to be…I just knew I'd never be good enough."

"Yes you are. You always have been. And I'm not perfect, nor am I any better than you. You just have to find the belief in yourself, Raph. You have the power and the strength of will to accomplish anything you set your mind to. It's what I've always admired most about you. Here I am spending days, weeks even, to get a kata and you knock it out the first time like you've known it all your life. Your determination is your greatest asset Raphael. It always has been. Stop being so pig-headed."

Raph gave his brother a strangely amused look. "Yeah, I'll try, Fearless." Raph's small smile melted into a serious frown and Leo glanced at him with worry.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't want to be alone again," Raph whispered, sounding very much like a scared, fearful child that had lost its way.

Leonardo only hugged him tighter, amazed yet relieved Raphael was letting him do so. "Never again, little brother, never again. Because I'll always be there. Always. You never have to feel unloved. Just remember, you're my little brother and I love each and every one of my brothers. No matter how hotheaded, or stubborn they can be. Okay?" Raph nodded against his older brother's plastron and smiled again. Leave it to Leo to prepare a sappy speech.

He was still really weak and he could feel his eyes starting to droop, but Raph hoped that Leo would stay anyway. And despite his exhaustion, Raph fell asleep with a smile on his face, for he felt more loved and appreciated than he had in a very, very long time.