This is a lovely episode for Kurt and Blaine. Finally, Blaine gets to visit New York a happy reason! Yay!
Here's a link to the song I chose for Blaine to sing for his audition: YouTube dot com / watch?v=ZUUiACzgug4
(I do not own Glee or any of the characters, dialogue, or songs from the show. It's all just for fun!)
BLAINE
On Monday morning, Blaine and the other students of McKinley High arrived to find the hallways of their school lined with tables.
It was a career fair.
Blaine wandered through the hallways during lunch, checking out the various careers represented, but didn't take any information or speak to any of the men and woman behind the tables.
He knew his career path already. He was auditioning for NYADA on Thursday.
"Hey, guys!" Mr. Schu greeted New Directions, all gathered around the piano, as he walked into the choir room to start glee rehearsal that afternoon. He jumped directly into the week's lesson. "In spite of the complete lack of representation at the career fair, I know that a lot of you are thinking about a career in the arts. Well, it's no secret that Sue Sylvester doesn't believe that an artistic career is a very practical idea. And, for once, I have to admit, she's right."
Blaine listened intently, thinking about his plans to attend NYADA and, hopefully, work on Broadway or possibly in television or film.
"It's completely impractical," Mr. Schu told them. "You know, anyone pursuing the arts needs to go in with their eyes wide open. We're talking zero job security and impossible odds. But, I've always believed that you have to pursue what you love, and that's why this week's assignment is about a goofy-looking kid who struggled for years in the music business."
"Finally, it's Marylin Manson week!" Kitty guessed as Mr. Schu walked over to the whiteboard to write down the week's theme.
"Close," Mr. Schu said. "Billy Joel."
"Who?" Unique asked.
"Oh, just a musical genius who's sold over a hundred and fifty million records, worldwide," Artie criticized.
"That's right," Mr. Schu confirmed. "Billy had to fight every step of the way in his career. He had countless failures and disappointments. Writing songs that nobody wanted. Playing piano in city bars just to pay the rent. Being told he'd never make it because he didn't look right."
"Translation: too Jewish," Jake commented.
"But, he ignored the haters and he kept pursuing his dream," Mr. Schu explained the rest of Billy Joel's career, "becoming the third best-selling solo artist of all time. I mean, he is a true inspiration to anyone pursuing a career in the arts, like our very own Mr. Blaine Anderson and Mr. Sam Evans!"
The other students applauded as Blaine stood up from his seat on the piano bench.
"Alright, as some of you may or may not know," he said, "this week is my big NYADA audition. I know; it's terrifying. So, I'm leaving today to maybe get some last minute tips from Kurt and Rachel!"
"And I'm going with him," Sam explained, "because I have an interview with the theater department at Hunter College. They saw, and they loved, my Tornado Town impressions reel, and I'm up for this awesome scholarship. The 'Channing Tatum former male stripper grant'."
"But," Blaine told the group, "we spoke to Mr. Schu and, because we have to miss this week's lesson, he thought the least we could do was maybe –"
"Kick it off with our very own take on a classic B.J.!" Sam finished the sentence for him.
Blaine shook his head briefly.
"Billy– Billy Joel," Sam clarified quickly. "Hit it!"
Blaine sat back down at the piano and played as they sang.
"Anthony works in the grocery store, savin' his pennies for someday. Mama Leone left a note on the door. She said, 'Sonny, move out to the country'. Oh, but workin' too hard can give you a heart attack. You ought'a know by now. Who needs a house out in Hackensack? Is that all you get for your money? It seems such a waste of time, if that's what it's all about. Mama, if that's movin' up then I'm movin' out."
As soon as the song was over, Blaine and Sam said goodbye to New Directions and started their journey to New York. Blaine drove them to the airport (electing to pay to park his car for the week rather than having someone drop them off and come back to pick them up when they returned), and they breezed through security and onto their flight.
For the first two hours of the flight, they chatted excitedly about their plans for the week and played a few games on their phones, but then Sam fell asleep and left Blaine alone with his thoughts.
Mr. Schu's words rung loudly in his ears. Zero job security and impossible odds. Suddenly, with his NYADA audition (and everything it represented) looming ahead of him, Blaine questioned his plan.
What if he went to NYADA, spent tens of thousands of dollars to improve his singing and dancing and acting skills, and then spent the rest of his life living paycheck-to-paycheck, struggling with debt and unemployment? He might never land a role that would pay his bills for longer than a few weeks or months.
And there was Kurt to consider, too. What would a life of scraping by do to their relationship? Blaine wanted to believe – did believe – that their love and commitment to each other would be enough for a happy life together, but what if it wasn't?
Was "pursuing his dream" worth it? He had other interests outside of performing. His real goal was to help people; to make their lives better. He could do that as a doctor or a teacher, couldn't he? He could be happy helping people in a non-artistic way. He could always do performing on the side. Maybe, if he was a teacher, he could find acting jobs when he was off during the summer? If he pursued a career in medicine, maybe he could volunteer at a children's hospital? He could entertain sick children to take their minds off of their daily struggles.
That train of thought contributed another thing to consider into Blaine's whirling mind. Children. It was one thing if he and Kurt had to go to bed hungry sometimes because money was scarce, but another thing entirely if they decided to have children and couldn't afford to take care of them properly.
He had to put Kurt and their possible future children ahead of his own desires, right? Another bonus to choosing to be a doctor or a teacher would be that Kurt could have more freedom in his career. Kurt wouldn't have to worry if the bills were being paid if he didn't book a role for a few months.
But, Blaine worried, would he look back on his life in fifty years and regret? Would he wish that he had tried the starving artist path instead of the safer, more traditional route? Would he be creatively satisfied? There was a chance that NYADA could open doors for him that would lead to a lifetime of singing and dancing and acting and getting paid enough to support a family. Plus, if both he and Kurt were making at least some money each month, that could add up to enough, right? Blaine wasn't going to be responsible for every penny they needed.
Blaine closed his eyes, anxious and tired of thinking about all the uncertainty of his future, and tried to distract himself by considering possible song selections for his NYADA audition.
The next thing he knew, Sam was shaking him awake. "We're here! We're here! Wake up!"
The short nap helped to calm Blaine's nerves. Sure, being a performer would be challenging, but he was capable. He could handle it. He and Kurt could handle it together.
As he and Sam took a train and then a bus to get from the airport to Kurt, Rachel, and Santana's apartment, all of Blaine's excitement returned.
He would be living here, in New York City, in less than six months.
KURT
Kurt was restless. The good kind of restless, where he couldn't really focus on anything because he was so excited.
Blaine had texted him when his and Sam's plane landed and Kurt, who had just returned to the apartment at that point after an afternoon shift at the diner, had immediately sought out a deck of cards to play solitaire at the table to keep himself from standing at the window, waiting for the first glimpse of his fiancé and his friend.
His plan to distract himself worked beautifully. With Rachel in her room memorizing lines for Funny Girl and Santana in the shower, it felt like a normal afternoon and Kurt was slightly startled when the door to the loft suddenly slid open a few feet away.
"Oh!" he exclaimed, delighted and surprised, as he saw Sam and Blaine in the doorway. "Oh!"
"Tada!" Sam announced their arrival.
"Hi, hi, hi!" Kurt cried happily, jumping up from his chair and stepping into a hug from Sam, who was closest to him. Rachel came running out of her room, straight into Blaine's arms, and then she and Kurt switched places so Rachel could hug Sam and Kurt could hug Blaine.
"Hi!" Blaine kissed Kurt's cheek briefly as Kurt pulled him into a quick hug.
"Oh my god, I'm glad you're here!" Kurt gushed as he stepped back so he could see Blaine's face. "Oh, wow, that was fast!"
"We were lucky," Blaine acknowledged. "The train was right there, waiting for us. And the bus, too."
"Of course it was," Santana said from behind Kurt.
"Hi, Santana," Blaine smiled at her over Kurt's shoulder.
"Hey," she replied. Kurt could hear the smile in her voice.
"Okay, here," Kurt suggested, tugging at the strap of Blaine's bag, which was still hooked around Blaine's body, "let's get this off you so you can get comfortable."
Blaine put his bag down beside him and reached out for another hug. This time, Kurt squeezed him for longer. No amount of talking on the phone or Skyping was as good as this. Having Blaine with him, in his arms.
When they stepped back from the second hug, Blaine's eyes lingered on Kurt's lips, and Kurt knew what was on his mind. Kurt's new tongue ring.
"Later," he teased quietly, darting in to peck a quick kiss on Blaine's lips.
Blaine grimaced in mostly-playful frustration and allowed Kurt to remove and hang up his jacket, grab his hand, and lead him over to the couch. Rachel and Sam were already sitting in two of the living room's chairs; Santana had disappeared to the bathroom to get dressed.
"...should totally go out to dinner!" Rachel declared as Kurt and Blaine sat down beside each other on the couch. Kurt tugged his hand out of Blaine's, not wanting to make their friends uncomfortable, and Blaine casually crossed his legs and leaned back, closing his eyes briefly like it felt wonderful to be sitting on something that wasn't moving.
"Sure," Blaine agreed politely as he opened his eyes and sat up.
"There's this really nice place," Rachel said enthusiastically, "kind of near NYADA, remember, Kurt? We've been thinking of trying it for a while, and this seems like the perfect opportunity!"
The last thing Kurt wanted to do, now that Blaine was sitting beside him on the couch for the first time in weeks, was to go all the way to Manhattan for dinner, but he couldn't think of a legitimate reason to say no. He and Rachel had been eyeing that restaurant for quite some time.
Plus, if he suggested that they order takeout or go out to eat somewhere nearer to their apartment, the problem remained: there was nowhere and no time to be alone with Blaine.
"What're we doing?" Santana wondered as she reemerged from the bathroom, fully dressed.
"We're going to dinner!" Rachel explained happily. "Want to come?"
"Sure," Santana shrugged, turning mid-step and heading for the door.
"Right now?" Kurt disapproved. "They just got here; let's rest a minute."
Santana paused near the door. "Wait," she realized, turning back toward the group, "you two are coming?" she motioned at Kurt and Blaine.
"Rachel invited us," Blaine explained.
"No," Santana said bluntly, walking over to nudge Sam's chair with her foot. "Let's go. Rachel? Get up."
"No?" Kurt questioned as Sam and Rachel stood up.
"No, you're not coming," Santana clarified. "You two are going to stay here and bang while we're gone so we can all sleep tonight."
"Oh my god, Santana!" Rachel scolded.
"It's a good plan," Sam admitted.
Kurt couldn't find his voice as Rachel turned to look at him and his face burned with embarrassment at the fact that his friends were going to walk out the door and know that he and Blaine were having sex in the apartment as they were having dinner.
"Okay," Rachel said briskly. Now that she knew what was going to happen, she didn't want to discuss it further. "Well, um, see you guys later!"
"I'll text you when we're on our way back!" Santana sang loudly as the trio walked to the door. She waved at Kurt and Blaine, both still motionless on the couch, and slid the door closed behind her.
Kurt turned to look at Blaine and saw that his face was as red as Kurt's felt. Blaine shifted on the couch, steadying himself.
"Just one thing," Kurt clarified after they looked at each other in silence for a moment, "before we... get started."
Blaine nodded, encouraging him to hurry up.
"This," Kurt motioned to his mouth to indicate his tongue ring, "is still a little sore, so, uh, please be gentle."
Blaine reached up and untied his bowtie without taking his eyes off of Kurt. "Gentle," he agreed.
They were done talking after that. Kurt shoved Blaine over so he was lying on his back on the couch and climbed on top of him, and they explored the new sensation of Kurt's tongue ring until the still-relatively-new piercing started to hurt enough that it was more than mildly uncomfortable for Kurt. He took it out, tossing it onto his table by the window as he pulled Blaine into his room so they could make use of the bed.
By the time Santana texted Kurt to let him know that she, Rachel, and Sam would be home in forty five minutes, Kurt was absolutely sure of one thing.
Blaine really, really approved of his tattoo.
BLAINE
On Tuesday morning, Blaine woke up with all of his doubts about his career choice pounding in his head. Everything was suddenly so real. He was really going to move to this huge city. He was really going to get married. To Kurt. He was really going to choose a path for his life.
It was terrifying.
Kurt had woken up first – he was no longer in bed with Blaine – so Blaine wandered into the kitchen to find him.
"Good morning," Kurt smiled at him from his seat at the table. "Do you know how to use the coffee machine?"
Blaine glanced at the little machine on the counter in the kitchen and nodded, returning the smile as he walked over to make himself a cup of coffee.
"What're you going to do today?" Kurt asked quietly as Blaine sat down next to him. Everyone else was still asleep – Rachel in her bed, Santana on the couch, and Sam on an air mattress on the floor where the coffee table usually sat.
"Um," Blaine realized he didn't have any plans. His NYADA audition wasn't until Thursday. "I don't know, actually."
"Unfortunately," Kurt grimaced, "I have classes all day and then work at the diner this afternoon. But I can recommend some places to see, if you're interested?"
"Sure," Blaine agreed.
Blaine scooted his chair closer to Kurt so Kurt could show him a few places on a map on his phone, and completing the list of recommendations took longer than it should have because Blaine kept sneaking quiet kisses on Kurt's cheek and temple. Kurt squirmed happily as he did it, occasionally twisting away at the last second so Blaine's kiss landed at the base of his jaw or on his ear, instead.
"You two are gross," Santana scolded as she walked past, still half asleep. Kurt turned his head and let one of Blaine's kisses land on his lips, and Santana disappeared into the bathroom.
A few seconds later, Kurt accidentally dropped his phone as Blaine leaned in and started trailing little kisses down Kurt's jaw line, and the device bounced off the table before crashing to the floor. Blaine quickly sat back, burying his face in his hands in mock-horror, and Kurt couldn't stifle his giggles as Sam groaned his disapproval about the loud noise and started to wake up.
An hour later, everyone was awake, fed, and dressed for the day. They all rode into Manhattan together before splitting up: Santana off to meet Dani, Kurt and Rachel off to NYADA, and Blaine and Sam off to explore New York City.
They went to one of Kurt's recommended historical sites first – a former bath house on St. Mark's Place – and Blaine explained the concept and appeal of a bath house to Sam as they ate lunch at a small restaurant nearby. Then, they went to visit Columbia University, walked through Central Park for a few minutes, checked out Hunter College (where Sam had an interview the next morning), and finally ended up wandering around NYU.
Blaine was more anxious than ever about his future plans by the time he and Sam reached the Spotlight Diner early in the evening to have dinner and wait for Kurt, Rachel, and Santana to finish working so they could all go back to Bushwick together.
He wanted to go to NYADA. He wanted to be a performer. But there were so many options of subjects he could study at NYU or Columbia – he had applied to both on the same day he applied to NYADA – and it made him doubt making NYADA his first choice. If he changed his mind about what he wanted to study while he was attending NYU or Columbia, he could just change majors and carry on. If he had second thoughts about his choice of study at NYADA, the only option was to drop out and start the entire applying-to-college process over again.
He was starting to seriously consider not auditioning for NYADA, and he didn't know how to tell Kurt.
Blaine waved at Kurt, who was busy rushing to grab an order for one of his tables, as he and Sam walked into the diner. Kurt waved back and smacked Santana lightly on the shoulder as he walked past, motioning for her to find Blaine and Sam a table.
"So, did you boys like those historical sites I recommended?" Kurt inquired a few minutes later, when he finally had a chance to take an "intermission" and sit down with Blaine and Sam for a moment.
"Um, we checked out that deconstructed bath house on St. Mark's where Tennessee Williams got in that fist fight with Tallulah Bankhead," Blaine confirmed.
"Oh yeah, that was awesome," Sam said.
"Cool," Kurt approved.
"Uh, but it was mostly campus visits," Blaine clarified. "NYU, Columbia."
"Why?" Kurt wondered. "You're going to NYADA."
"I need safety schools, Kurt," Blaine scolded gently. "I haven't gotten in yet."
"But you will, as soon as you audition," Kurt said confidently. "The way I've talked you up to Carmen Tibideaux, she's gonna offer you a spot on the spot."
Blaine was so nervous he couldn't think of what to say in response.
"Which reminds me..." Kurt said, glancing over Blaine's shoulder at the piano on the diner's empty stage, "are you up for a little trial run?"
Blaine dropped his head, preemptively embarrassed.
"I don't want to send you into the lion's den under rehearsed," Kurt explained. "Come on!"
"No," Blaine whined halfheartedly as Kurt grabbed his wrist and pulled him out of his chair. "No, no, no, no, no!"
"Yes, yes!" Sam encouraged.
"Come on, don't worry!" Kurt said as he pulled Blaine across the room to the stage. "The piano awaits..."
Blaine knew there was no way out of it (and part of him wanted to sing for the room, anyway), so he sat down at the piano as Kurt captured the room's attention.
"Hello, everyone!" Kurt raised his voice so everyone could hear him. "Welcome to the Spotlight Diner and to a very special performance."
Blaine took a deep breath. Kurt believed in him. That meant something.
"Now, you may not know the name Blaine Anderson yet," Kurt told the patrons in the room, "but you will soon when it's lit up all over Broadway. Alright, ladies and gentlemen... Blaine Anderson!"
"Thank you, Kurt!" Blaine said as Kurt hopped off the stage. "Thank you, everyone."
Blaine decided to sing one of his favorite Billy Joel songs in honor of Mr. Schu's lesson of the week. "Sing along if you know it," he suggested to the room as he started the song's distinctive piano intro.
"It's nine o'clock on a Saturday. The regular crowd shuffles in. There's an old man sitting next to me, making love to his tonic and gin. He says, 'Son can you play me a memory? I'm not really sure how it goes, but it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete when I wore a younger man's clothes.'"
As Blaine sang, the diner's wait staff, including Kurt and Rachel and Santana, joined him and danced around the room with candles.
"Sing us a song; you're the piano man. Sing us a song tonight. Well, we're all in the mood for a melody and you've got us feeling alright."
It was fun. It felt good to sing for a group of people who didn't know him and to know that the crowd was enjoying the performance. This was what Blaine wanted; he wanted to entertain people.
"That was incredible!" Kurt shouted from where he was standing on the countertop when the song ended. "There's no way you're not getting into NYADA, and all our dreams will come true!"
Blaine nodded appreciatively as icy fear built up inside him. Kurt was so sure. But either choice – NYADA and a life pursuing a career as a performer or NYU or Columbia and a career as something else – felt like minefield of possible regrets. How could he choose?
He knew he should talk to Kurt about it, but he was so afraid. How could he explain his decision not to audition for NYADA without sounding like he was critical of Kurt's path?
"Thank you," he waved to the room as everyone applauded, feeling uncharacteristically shy. As the applause died away, Blaine stood up and walked back to his table where Sam was waiting.
"That was awesome," Sam complimented as Blaine sat down.
"Thanks," Blaine smiled at him.
"Amazing!" Kurt suddenly appeared from behind Blaine. He had food for both Blaine and Sam. "You're amazing," he gushed as he set the plates down on the table.
"Thank you, Kurt," Blaine said, for both the food and the praise.
"Enjoy!" Kurt flashed Blaine and Sam a huge smile and hurried away.
After Kurt's and Rachel's shifts were over, they introduced Blaine and Sam to Dani (who was just arriving for an overnight shift) and then headed back to the apartment in Bushwick. They all had showers ("Cities make you feel so gross!" Sam decided) and climbed into bed, and Blaine snuggled up to Kurt and was so tired from walking around all day that he fell asleep before his mind had a chance to run away with him again.
KURT
On Wednesday morning, Sam and Rachel both had to leave early – Sam had to get to Hunter College for his interview and Rachel had an early Funny Girl meeting before her first class of the day at NYADA – and Santana slept in, so Kurt and Blaine went into Manhattan together. Kurt took Blaine with him to all of his classes ("Why not see what you have to look forward to?") and enjoyed introducing his fiancé to his classmates and professors. Blaine seemed to enjoy sitting in on the classes; he had questions and commentary for Kurt during every break between classes.
After Kurt's final class that afternoon, they went to the Statue of Liberty together. It was Blaine's suggestion; "Let's do something touristy!" They walked hand-in-hand around Liberty Island, marveling at the iconic statue and enjoying being there together.
Blaine was a little quieter than usual throughout the afternoon, but Kurt knew he was probably nervous about his NYADA audition. When Blaine got nervous, he stopped talking.
Which was why Kurt had planned a surprise for dinner.
After the Statue of Liberty, Kurt suggested that they go out for a nice dinner.
"It'll take a while to go back to the apartment and change, right?" Blaine worried. "It's still early, but..."
"That's why I had Santana bring our outfits to NYADA this afternoon," Kurt explained, laughing when Blaine's eyes widened in happy surprise. "I had to pay her fifty bucks to make the detour on the way to the diner, but she texted me whining about how heavy our clothes were earlier today, so I know she did it."
They went to NYADA and changed their clothes, and then Kurt hailed them a taxi.
"Where are we going?" Blaine asked after Kurt told the driver the address.
"Just a little up-and-coming place that serves delicious food," Kurt told the truth. "Someone at Vogue dot com recommended it."
Kurt's surprise was waiting for them inside the restaurant.
"Oh no," Blaine gasped as soon as they walked in the door. "Kurt."
"I told you I was going to introduce you while you were here," Kurt teased him as he grabbed Blaine's hand and led him to the table where Isabelle Wright was waiting for them.
"Kurt, hello!" Isabelle greeted him warmly with a quick hug.
"This is Blaine," Kurt introduced Blaine. "Blaine, this is Isabelle."
"It's so nice to meet you," Blaine shook Isabelle's hand.
"I hope Kurt has told you that you're a bit of a celebrity in our office," Isabelle smiled as they all sat down. "That proposal... anyone who makes this guy," she motioned at Kurt, "smile like that is a person worth knowing."
"Thank you," Blaine ducked his head.
Kurt picked up the conversation then, in an attempt to give Blaine a little time to recover from the initial surprise, and the trio spent the next few hours enjoying a steady flow of thoughtful, enjoyable conversation and delicious food.
"Oh my god," Blaine laughed once he and Kurt had said goodbye to Isabelle and started the short walk to the subway station that would take them home, "I can't believe that just happened."
"I told you she would love you," Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand as they walked, "and that you would love her. You're both so sunny."
"She's so interesting," Blaine gushed. He rattled off a few examples of his favorite stories that Isabelle had told them over the course of the evening, and Kurt was pleased to hear him so chatty. Kurt's goal for the dinner had been twofold: to introduce Blaine and Isabelle and to get Blaine's mind off of his NYADA audition.
He was pleased with himself, but he wasn't done distracting Blaine yet. If they went back to the apartment now – the sun had barely gone down – Blaine would have the whole evening to start worrying again.
"So," he squeezed Blaine's hand as they approached the entrance to the subway station, "we have two options here."
"Okay," Blaine narrowed his eyes, suspicious of more surprises.
"We can go back to the loft," Kurt offered, "and hang out with Rachel and Sam."
"Or...?" Blaine wondered.
"Or," Kurt explained, "we can give that bar in Greenwich Village a try."
That was definitely Blaine's preferred choice; Kurt could see the excitement in his eyes. But there was also some uncertainty there, too.
"Are you sure?" Blaine worried. "The first time we tried a gay bar..." he trailed off, and Kurt understood. Things had not gone well that night.
"If we stopped doing things after the first try every time the first try didn't go as planned, we'd probably never do anything fun," Kurt told him. "Tonight, I want to go dancing with my fiancé in New York City."
"You are," Blaine said, swooping in for a quick kiss, "the most wonderful man in the world."
"We'll see how you feel about that when the night is over," Kurt teased. "I have no idea what to expect from this place... I've just heard vaguely good things about it."
"Let's go find out," Blaine smiled.
So, they did. They went to a gay bar in Greenwich Village and danced together for hours, until they were sweaty and exhausted and full to the brim with happiness. Blaine was in his element right away; it was like he absorbed the vibe of the room and felt free there. Kurt was a little more hesitant for the first few minutes, uncomfortably aware of all the strange people bumping into them and just generally around them, but Blaine stayed with him every second of the night and was so excited that Kurt eventually relaxed and let himself get lost in the music and the dim lighting and Blaine.
They had sex in the shower when they returned to the loft. Everyone else was already asleep, so they tried to be quiet, but Kurt was so buzzed on life that he couldn't find the energy to really care if his friends knew what was happening behind the closed bathroom door. They could just roll over and fall back asleep when Kurt and Blaine were done.
Climbing into bed felt so, so good after such an activity-filled day. Kurt and Blaine mumbled their final I love yous and both fell asleep quickly, comfortable and safe together in Kurt's bed.
BLAINE
The next morning, Blaine was so nervous he couldn't eat breakfast.
The day before had been one of the best days of his life. A day of big firsts: his first time sitting in on a full day of college – NYADA – classes, his first time visiting the Statue of Liberty, his first time meeting Isabelle Wright, his first time going out dancing with Kurt in the city.
As he sat at the table and listened to Sam and Rachel as they told the story of Sam's disastrous interview at Hunter College and his new plan to skip college and become a male model, all Blaine could think about was the "first" that was going to happen to him in a few hours.
His first audition for NYADA.
In an ideal world, his first and only audition for NYADA, but Blaine didn't dare to believe that Kurt was right and he would be quickly accepted.
By the time everyone else was done eating and Blaine was done shoving the pancakes on his plate around so it looked like he had eaten something, Blaine knew he couldn't do it. He couldn't go to NYADA. He needed options, didn't he? He liked having options; options meant freedom.
He had to tell Kurt.
KURT
Kurt noticed that Blaine didn't eat anything at breakfast, but he didn't mention it. He remembered very well that sick feeling of fear and uncertainty as your future loomed before you and you had one moment to do it right.
Instead of trying to manipulate Blaine's feelings, Kurt decided to just make it a normal day. To remain calm and steady so Blaine could lean on him for support.
"Carmen Tibideaux's a classicist," Kurt reminded Blaine as they retreated to Kurt's room to choose an outfit for Blaine's audition. "So, for your audition, let's try to avoid shocking patterns and anything that says 'look at me, I'm the center of attention and this primary color proves it!'."
He picked up one of Blaine's red polos as he spoke, shaking it playfully, but Blaine didn't smile or laugh from his seat on a stool near the window.
"Kurt, wait," he said, instead. "Just... stop. I have to tell you something."
He looked kind of dead inside, like he was drowning in guilt.
"Oh no," Kurt said, "you've got that look. The look I saw the night after Callbacks." He sat down on the edge of his bed, trying to voice his fear to get it out there, but also trying to keep the mood light. "If you cheated on me again, I will not accept sex addiction as an excuse," he half-teased.
"I... don't want to audition for NYADA," Blaine confessed, staring at the ground as he said the words and then letting his eyes flit up to look at Kurt.
That was not what Kurt had expected.
"Well, you can't get in on reputation alone," Kurt reminded him.
"No," Blaine agreed before elaborating. "NYADA's just a performing arts school. That's all you can study there. I have other passions. Other interests I might want to explore in college."
"For instance?" Kurt wondered.
"I don't know!" Blaine hesitated to commit. "You know how much I love kids... I'd love to be a teacher like Mr. Schu. Or... or pre-med, or something!"
"Of course," Kurt said as he realized what was going on, "how could I forget the numerous conversations we've had about you wanting to be a doctor?"
"My passion for medicine has always been my secret shame!" Blaine argued. "My first guy crush was George Clooney, aka Doctor Roz on ER. And... it's no secret what my favorite Milton Bradley game is. Operation!"
Kurt let him talk it out, but he knew what this rushed "confession" was about. Blaine was so scared that NYADA wasn't going to work out that he was trying to preemptively sabotage the situation.
"It's such a great relief to be able to tell you this now," Blaine exhaled a shaky, nervous laugh. "I'm just glad I did it before my audition."
Kurt pressed his lips together to keep from laughing and just nodded at Blaine. I know what this is about.
"What?" Blaine noticed Kurt's expression.
Kurt stood up from the bed and walked around the bed to Blaine.
"We're getting married," Kurt reminded him as he grabbed Blaine's hand and pulled him over so they could sit together on the edge of Kurt's bed. "I know you. And I get it! And this is a sweet side of you that I don't get to see very often."
Blaine's hand was cold in Kurt's.
"You're scared," Kurt pressed.
"Of what?" Blaine tried not dodge.
"Look," Kurt told him, "when I first moved here, I honestly felt like I was Crocodile Dundee, alright? The city is huge, the buildings are huge, and everywhere you look it's like there's all these beautiful people who seem to just come from some secret meeting where they teach you how to make it in the big city."
"What if I don't get in?" Blaine worried. "You didn't."
"You will!" Kurt reassured him. "And if you don't, it won't matter. You're a performer; you're gonna find the spotlight. And you can't shy away from your greatness just because you're afraid you're not great enough. You have a gift, and it wouldn't be right to let you hide that away."
Blaine's expression softened as Kurt spoke, and Kurt knew the moment of panic was over as Blaine exhaled heavily.
"Thanks for knowing me," Blaine said, relieved. "I love you."
"I love you, too," Kurt reminded him as they leaned together for a hug. He rubbed Blaine's back, hoping that Blaine really knew how much Kurt loved him.
"And we're in this together," Kurt added as they both sat back. "And I can't stop you from failing, but I can promise to make it safe if you do."
The corners of Blaine's mouth turned up slightly, almost a smile, and Kurt decided that it was time to move the conversation to other topics. They had work to do.
"And I think Santana should do your makeup," Kurt suggested.
Blaine sucked in a nervous breath, but, as he followed Kurt out into the main part of the apartment to see if Santana had come home yet or if they needed to text her and see if they could stop by Dani's apartment where she had spent the night, Kurt could tell that he was more relaxed than he had been before their conversation. More himself.
They picked out an outfit for Blaine, went to Dani's apartment where Santana was waiting to do his makeup, and then there was nothing to do but make it to NYADA on time.
"Are you sure you don't want to come?" Kurt asked Santana as Blaine opened the door to leave. "You're going to miss out on a historic moment!"
"Oh, please," Santana shooed them with her hands, but she added a shouted "good luck!" just before the door closed behind them.
They chatted about the audition on the train to Manhattan, and Kurt was surprised to discover that Blaine didn't want to tell him the song he had decided to sing.
"You surprised me yesterday," Blaine teased, "so let me surprise you today."
"Do I... know the song?" Kurt pressed for clues.
"I think so," Blaine guessed.
Kurt decided not to press further. He didn't want to inadvertently add to Blaine's anxiety, even about something so trivial.
When they got to NYADA, Blaine was assigned a room to warm up in, and Blaine insisted that Kurt stay with him. Kurt helped him warm up, encouraging him and singing along with him, and then they just had to wait for someone to come get Blaine when it was his turn.
The knock on the door made both Blaine and Kurt jump, and Kurt laughed apologetically. He was nervous, too.
Kurt kissed Blaine lightly on the lips – he didn't want to mess up Blaine's light layer of makeup – and shoved him toward the door. Blaine laughed as he opened the door and he and Kurt walked together to the entrance to the round room.
"I believe in you," Kurt said firmly as they paused and Kurt made sure Blaine's outfit was perfect.
"I love you," Blaine replied, equally serious, and then smiled slightly. "Now go find a seat so I can sing to you."
Kurt rushed away and snuck into the round room to take his seat beside Rachel and Sam.
The room was full. The crowd consisted mostly of family and friends of the people auditioning, but there were also some NYADA students and teachers. Carmen Tibideaux sat at the front of the room.
Blaine was first because his last name was first, alphabetically.
"Hello," Blaine smiled at Carmen Tibideaux as he walked to the center of the room. "I'm Blaine Anderson."
"Mr. Anderson," Carmen greeted him. "Whenever you're ready."
Blaine nodded, and Kurt was so nervous and excited he could barely sit still. He reached over and grabbed Rachel's hand. They shared a quick glance before focusing their full attention on Blaine as he turned and glanced at the instrumentalists behind him to make sure they were ready.
Blaine's gaze flashed to Kurt as the music began, and Kurt's heart lurched in his chest. He smiled and gave Blaine a quick thumbs-up, and Blaine took a deep breath and relaxed slightly as he began the song.
"So many nights I have stood in the moonlight, watching it fade into dawn. Wanting her back with me, warm in the moonlight. Knowing that moment was gone."
Rachel squeezed Kurt's hand, and Kurt hung on Blaine's every word.
"Out of mind, out of sight, 'til the moon rose tonight. All at once I felt a chill. In a spill of moonlight, she was there. Though we both held very still, there was something pulling in the air."
Out of the corner of his eye, Kurt saw Rachel leaning in his direction, and he silently hushed her before she could say anything. He knew what she was going to say. The song was about realizing that a love you thought you had lost was still alive. Had always been alive. Details aside, it could've been written about Blaine; Blaine had thought he had lost Kurt's love. Until he suddenly realized he hadn't.
"When she whispered through the dark, I tried hard to hold my ground. I believed I had a choice, 'til the music in her voice turned my whole world around."
Blaine moved around the front of the room as he sang, lost in the song.
"I would like to understand, but the stars and I begin to blur. If she never touched my hand, then what filled me with the feel of her? In between us stood a wall. In a flash it fell apart. Is it possible she heard every last unspoken word racing out of my heart?"
Kurt risked a glance at Carmen Tibideaux, but he could only see her back. She had to like this. This was so Blaine. Eager and optimistic.
"She never turned to me but suddenly we had so much to share. I never took her in my arms but she was there. Oh, she was there."
For the first time since the start of the performance, Blaine glanced briefly at Kurt, and there were tears in both of their eyes.
"No I never pulled her in, still her tenderness was everywhere. Oh, she slipped beneath my skin, just as if she'd always been right there. Has she been there all along? Was I too far gone to know?"
Kurt bounced his knee a little, bursting with excitement, as the song crescendoed to its end and Blaine's NYADA audition was officially a success.
"What a fool I must have been. For how could I pull her in when I've never let her go?"
As soon as the sound of Blaine's final note died away, Kurt leapt to his feet and yanked his hand out of Rachel's to applaud as hard as he could. Beside him, Rachel and Sam did the same, and Blaine smiled at them and offered a short bow of thanks to his friends and the rest of the crowd.
Then, Kurt, Rachel, and Sam sat down – tried to calm down – and they waited for Carmen Tibideaux to say something.
BLAINE
Carmen Tibideaux stared down at the notebook in her lap for a moment, studying her notes on Blaine's performance, and then she lifted her head and looked at Blaine.
"I seem to recall," she said, "hearing your name from time-to-time from Mr. Hummel."
Blaine nodded, not sure if she wanted him to refresh her memory about how he knew Kurt or if she was just making a statement.
"As I am sure you know," Carmen continued, "Kurt speaks very highly of you."
"Thank you," Blaine acknowledged, glancing at Kurt in his seat a few rows behind Carmen.
"And rightfully so," Carmen told him, nodding. "That was a compelling performance, Mr. Anderson. Thank you."
All the tension in Blaine's body melted away as he absorbed the look of approval in her eyes.
"Thank you," he smiled at Carmen as Kurt, Rachel, and Sam clutched each other excitedly.
"Good luck, Mr. Anderson," she dismissed him.
Tears of relief were pooling in his eyes by the time he reached the door.
He had done it.
There was no guarantee that he would be accepted to NYADA, but Carmen Tibideaux had complimented him on his performance and he knew he couldn't have performed the song any better.
"Blaine!"
He heard Kurt's shout of excitement just soon enough to turn and brace himself so he wouldn't fall over as Kurt launched himself into Blaine's arms, hugging him tightly.
"That was absolutely beautiful," Kurt gushed, pulling away from the hug so he could look at Blaine as he spoke. "I love you. You did it!"
"Thank you, Kurt" Blaine felt like he had never smiled so broadly in his life, blinking a few times to keep his tears from falling. Kurt kissed him, and Blaine said, "I love you so much."
A touch on the back of Blaine's shoulder announced the arrival of Rachel and Sam – Kurt had clearly run out of the room, whereas they had walked – and Blaine hugged them both and accepted their congratulations and felt like he could do anything. The world felt like a place filled with endless possibilities.
Sam and Rachel had to leave (Sam had an appointment with a modeling agency and Rachel had a shift at the diner), and Kurt took Blaine to the bathroom to wash off his stage makeup.
"I'm starving," Blaine realized as Kurt carefully wiped the makeup off his face, careful not to get his shirt wet.
"That's because you didn't eat any breakfast," Kurt scolded.
"I was nervous, okay?" Blaine laughed.
"Really?" Kurt finished washing off his face and turned away, grinning. "I had no idea."
"Oh, okay," Blaine pretended to pout, smiling with him.
"Well," Kurt said cheerfully as he offered Blaine a paper towel to dry his face, "since auditions are happening today, most of my classes are canceled! So, what do you say we grab some lunch and head home for a lazy afternoon?"
KURT
It turned out to be more of a relaxing afternoon than a lazy one. Kurt and Blaine took advantage of the empty loft, free of worry about being overheard or walked in on. (They did pull the privacy curtain that surrounded Kurt's room closed, just in case.) The freedom – not having to keep an ear out for approaching footsteps or closing doors that signified parents or siblings – was exhilarating. They took their time, and it felt like they were the only two people in the world.
Once they were sweaty and sticky and satisfied, Blaine took Kurt's left hand in one of his as they both waited to cool off before a shower. He played with Kurt's ring for a while and Kurt watched him, letting his mind run wild with fantasies of what their life together was going to be like in a few months when Blaine moved in.
While Kurt took the first shower, Blaine napped, and then Kurt lounged on the couch and killed time on his laptop while Blaine showered.
"I can't believe I auditioned for NYADA today," Blaine said as he emerged from the bathroom in clean clothes and with his hair freshly gelled.
Kurt put his laptop on the coffee table (he insisted that Sam deflate his air mattress every morning; it took up too much space) and sat up a bit so Blaine could cuddle up beside him on the couch.
"I'm proud of you," Kurt kissed his cheek.
Blaine sighed happily, and Kurt's chest flooded with warmth as Blaine shifted on the couch so he could lay his head on Kurt's shoulder.
"Thank you," Blaine said softly.
They watched mindless television, content to quietly enjoy each other's company, until Sam and Rachel came home.
Rachel's afternoon of Funny Girl rehearsal had been uneventful, but Sam's day had been more dramatic. He told them about his visit to the House of Bichette Modeling Agency, where he had been told that he needed to lose ten pounds but that he might be able to scrape together a living as a male model.
Blaine and Kurt were immediately concerned about the suggestion that Sam needed to lose weight.
"Sam," Blaine stressed, "you have an amazing body. You're in incredible shape!"
"You could use a haircut," Kurt suggested casually, "but please don't starve yourself for this."
Sam shrugged, neither agreeing not disagreeing with their comments, and Kurt and Blaine exchanged a glance and decided to drop it. Sam and Blaine were flying back to Ohio the next day; maybe some time at home would calm Sam down and give him time to realize that he didn't need to lose any weight.
Rachel decided to make dinner for the group, but they needed groceries. Kurt and Blaine volunteered to go out and get what they needed and went to the grocery store.
"Thank you so much for having us this week," Blaine said as they started the short walk home from the store, both carrying bags of food. "I know it's a lot to juggle all the stuff going on in your life and two extra people to keep track of. I really wish you'd let me–"
"Blaine," Kurt scolded. "Our place is not a hotel. You are my fiancé and Sam is a dear friend. We want you to visit. You've paid for all your own transportation and food – and mine, as often as you could sneakily do so – all week. That is more than enough."
He turned his head to glance at Blaine and realized that Blaine had fallen behind, paused in front of a storefront. Kurt turned and walked the few steps back to where Blaine was standing, and started shaking his head immediately as he saw what was in the large window. "No. Blaine... no."
"You told me a few weeks ago... 'I should really brush up on my piano skills'," Blaine stared at him, his eyes twinkling with amusement.
Kurt cursed himself for ever mentioning it. Yes, he wanted a piano, but he hadn't mentioned it as a hint for Blaine to buy him one.
"There's no room for it in the loft," Kurt lied.
"Yes, there is," Blaine scolded. "There are multiple places for this little piano in the loft, Kurt. You could use a desk, too, by the way."
Kurt allowed himself to examine the piano in the window. It was old. A little, old wooden piano that would fit perfectly with the décor in the loft.
"Let's just look at it," Blaine suggested, smiling.
"No," Kurt protested weakly.
"Alright," Blaine set his grocery bags down on the sidewalk, "you stay out here and watch this stuff and I'll go look at it."
"The milk's going to get warm," Kurt argued. "This isn't– Blaine!"
Blaine turned and walked into the store, and Kurt tried to feel more annoyance than excitement as he scooped up Blaine's bags and followed his fiancé into the store.
As soon as Blaine – after asking the young woman who was working in the store if it was okay – sat down at the piano and played a few notes which turned into the introductory melody of I Dreamed A Dream, Kurt knew they had to have it.
Blaine dropped his hands into his lap and turned to look at Kurt, who had just set their bags of groceries down beside the piano.
Kurt made a show of rolling his eyes. "How much is it?" he wondered.
Blaine beamed at him and jumped up from the piano to go talk to the woman behind the counter about buying it.
"If you think Rachel – or Santana, for that matter – is going to help us carry a piano up the stairs," Kurt said to Blaine a few minutes later as they continued their walk back to the loft, "you are out of your mind."
Blaine hummed his agreement that getting the piano up the stairs was going to be a problem. "Do you know any of your neighbors?" he wondered. "I think you, me, Sam, and one other guy could do it."
Kurt considered it. He did know some of their neighbors, but did he want to ask them to help?
In the end, they didn't have to. Kurt and Blaine dropped their groceries off at the loft and then departed again to go back to the piano shop with Sam. ("It's a surprise!" Blaine told Rachel when she asked where they were going.) The store owner was there this time, and he had a plan. His two sons, who were a few years older than Kurt and Blaine, were on their way from their homes nearby to help.
They rolled the piano down the sidewalk on a cart and then spent half an hour maneuvering it up the stairs of their building. Kurt was grateful for the shop owner's sons and their experience; they had moved many pianos before, so they knew exactly how to do it. Kurt, Blaine, and Sam were just there to help with the heavy lifting.
Rachel was thrilled. She jumped up and down, clapping her hands, as Blaine and Sam moved the piano through the door into the loft. They put it between the living room and kitchen; a temporary location until Kurt could decide where he wanted it.
"Oh my god, Blaine, thank you!" Rachel flung her arms around Blaine's neck and hugged him. "You did not have to do this!"
"I know," Blaine said happily as Rachel released him and turned to return to the kitchen where she was preparing dinner.
Santana was not so pleased.
"We don't have room for this," she argued after walking through the door and discovering the new addition to the loft.
"Uh, yes we do," Kurt informed her from his place on the couch. "Right there."
"Okay, seriously, I'm not going to be able to survive if you and your hag, Berry, are going to be tickling those ivories, belting out gay hits from Rent and Showboat all day," Santana whined.
"It's a 'thank you' for allowing me and Sam to stay here," Blaine explained.
"Okay, you guys," Rachel interrupted, carrying over a basket of bread, "I have some bread here if you want!"
"No can do," Sam declined. "No, right now I'm just on this Mentos and flavored air diet."
"Sam, that's ridiculous," Rachel scolded. "You don't need to lose ten pounds!"
"Yeah, Sam, we all agree," Kurt sat forward so he could look at their friend. "You don't need to be prison camp skinny to be a model! We think you should find another agency."
"No," Sam disagreed. "House of Bichette is, like, the best agency in town."
Kurt tilted his head, mouthing "House of Bichette" to himself in confusion. He hadn't heard of it.
"You know what I think?" Blaine said pleasantly. "I think that this argument would be best made in a song."
"Yes!" Rachel exclaimed, clapping joyfully as Blaine stood up and walked over to sit down at the new piano. Kurt followed him toward the piano, but didn't join him on the bench.
"No!" Santana whined, standing up from her chair near the piano. "No, no, no, no, do you see this? This is what's going to happen from every argument or discussion or meal from now on. It's gonna end in a freaking sing-along. It's bad enough we need to be singing waiters, okay? I can't have this in my home. I need my peaceful place!"
"You don't have to sing, Santana," Blaine told her as he played the first few notes of Billy Joel's Just The Way You Are.
"But I dare you not to!" Kurt teased her.
In the end, Santana couldn't resist. She retreated to Kurt's room for the first part of the song, but came back out – a hairbrush in her hand like a microphone – and sang the final half of the song with the rest of them. Afterward, they all returned to their seats for dinner and ate and enjoyed each other's company until it was time for bed.
Blaine was already comfortable under the blankets by the time Kurt came to bed after brushing his teeth. He slipped into bed, settling onto his back as Blaine scooted over to cuddle against his side.
"Goodnight," Blaine said warmly.
"Congratulations," Kurt turned his head and kissed him, "for today."
"Thanks," Blaine grinned.
"Only a few months left," Kurt encouraged him, "and then we'll get to go to bed like this every night."
Blaine ducked his head below Kurt's and nuzzled his face into Kurt's neck. "Yeah," he breathed, satisfied with the thought. "Every night."
BLAINE
The next morning, Blaine and Sam had to go back to Ohio. They had breakfast in the loft with Kurt, Rachel, and Santana, and then it was time for them to leave for the airport. Kurt and Rachel had to leave, too, for NYADA, so Blaine and Sam said goodbye to Santana in the loft and walked to the subway station with the others.
Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand as soon as they emerged from Kurt and Rachel's building, swinging their hands between them as they walked. Rachel and Sam chatted as they walked, but Kurt and Blaine didn't say much until they reached the entrance to Rachel and Kurt's station. Blaine and Sam were going to take a bus to a different station so the train would take them directly to the airport.
"Call me the second you get your NYADA letter," Kurt instructed as Blaine pulled him into a hug.
"I promise," Blaine agreed, catching Kurt's face in his hands after the hug to kiss him. "Thank you for everything this week."
"You're welcome," Kurt smiled at him. "Thank you. For the piano."
"Yes!" Rachel agreed, interrupting to request a hug from Blaine. "It's amazing. So good to see you!"
Kurt hugged Sam while Blaine said goodbye to Rachel, and then Kurt reached out for Blaine again, hugging him one more time.
"I love you," Blaine reminded Kurt as he straightened Blaine's bowtie to delay their parting.
Kurt met his gaze, and Blaine knew what was on both of their minds. Finn had only been gone a few months, and it was still hard to say see you later without thinking about the possibility that they were really saying goodbye.
"I love you," Kurt echoed, and then Rachel took Kurt's hand and led him away so they could catch their train.
Blaine was glad Sam was with him for the journey home because it kept him from sitting in silence and feeling sad about the fact that he had to leave Kurt and go back to his life in Ohio.
"It's Friday afternoon," Sam reminded him as they walked to Blaine's car from the Columbus airport later that afternoon. "We can probably make it to school before glee rehearsal."
They drove to McKinley and found Mr. Schu, Principal Sylvester, Tina, Artie, and Kitty standing in the hallway near the choir room door (and the career fair's new "The Arts" table).
"Blam!" Tina noticed them as they approached. "They're back!"
"Yo, dawgs, tell us everything!" Artie requested.
"Fact!" Sam explained. "Blaine thought he wanted to be a doctor for a minute and then Kurt talked him out of it and then he went to NYADA and he crushed his NYADA audition."
"Sam," Blaine scolded, "that was my news."
"Oh!" Sam continued as if Blaine hadn't said anything. "And Mr. Schu, did you know that Billy Joel never went to college? Fact! He didn't and I think you forgot to tell us about that. So, I'm gonna skip college, too, and become a male model."
"Impossible," Sue disagreed. "You're too fat."
"No, I'm not and I don't care what you or Miss Bichette or anyone says," Sam retorted. He glanced at Blaine, who nodded his approval. "I like me just the way I am and I'm not gonna change for anyone."
"Well, that is just the 'screw you' spirit employers love," Sue said. "Honest to god, I cannot imagine what goes on in your lumpish, sexually ambiguous heads."
"'Cause they're nuts!" Becky explained as she walked up to stand with the group. "Any one of them is crazy!"
"Becky," Mr. Schu said, grinning, "you may be right. We may be crazy."
The students in the hallway, Blaine included, perked up at the chance for a final, spontaneous Billy Joel song to end the week.
"Oh, no, no, no, no," Sue protested, turning quickly to face Mr. Schu, "no, don't you dare. Over my dead body will you inexplicably shoehorn in another Billy Joel song just to punctuate one of your weekly lessons that inevitably veers off into a saccharine barrage of angst and affirmation."
They sang it anyway. First, right there in the hallway in front of Sue, and then later in the auditorium. As Blaine danced and sang with Mr. Schu and his friends and classmates, he realized that he needed to relish his last days of high school as much as he had relished sleeping curled up against Kurt all week. Soon, he would move away to New York and everything would change. There were things about Ohio, and McKinley, that he definitely would not miss, but there were also things he would. His friends, Mr. Schu, being part of New Directions. There was still some high school left, including Nationals in less than a month, to enjoy before he moved on to the rest of his life.
Blaine's NYADA audition song is "She Was There" from the musical The Scarlet Pimpernel. :) I think Blaine would really connect with the story about rekindling a love that was strained but never actually gone. (The song makes me think of Kurt and Blaine in "I Do", when they have that scene in the hotel room and Blaine suddenly KNOWS that Kurt still loves him and is so relieved and happy about it.) And Carmen Tibideaux, as Kurt says in this episode, is a classicist (so, Blaine probably needed to sing a song written for a man) and only really accepted Kurt once he proved that he could feel what he was singing, so I think she would like the emotion from Blaine in this song.
Up next... 5x07: Puppet Master!