Hearts Afraid Of Breaking Chapter 73: Begin Again (Tom Seymour and Kate Parr), a tudors fanfic

AN: Katherine Parr/Thomas Seymour to Begin Again because I used to like them together before the Elizabeth Scandal broke. Set April 1538.

Took a deep breath in the mirror
He didn't like it when I wore high heels
But I do
Turn the lock and put my headphones on
He always said he didn't get this song
But I do, I do

Unable to help herself, Katherine Parr glanced her reflection up and down in the mirror. She looked…pretty. For the first time since she'd married John, she looked…pretty. Attractive. As a woman in her mid twenties should. She was wearing a gown of deep blue raw taffeta encrusted with just a few small diamonds. A costlier dress than she usually did; a costlier dress than John generally liked her to wear. But then, she'd never had to impress a courtier before; never had to implore a man of the world to help her raise the funds to not only treat her husband's illness, but also run his estates as a Baron's estates should be run. It was no wonder she was wearing a better dress than normal.

Just then, her stepdaughter Margaret walked in, saying, "Sir Thomas has arrived, Mama. I've put him in the library and told him..," she broke off as Katherine turned towards her. "Mama! You look beautiful!" she gasped.

God forgive her, but at Margaret's exclamation, Katherine smiled proudly, relishing her rare chance at vanity. John didn't like her to look too pretty; said it not only reminded him of what he was missing, but encouraged wrong fancies in the servants. Katherine generally obeyed his wishes, as any good wife should, but that didn't mean she didn't enjoy dressing up when she had an excuse to do so.

"Thank you, darling," she whispered, stroking Margaret's cheek as she passed, "Now, go back to your studies, please. I'll come and hear your lessons when I'm finished with Sir Thomas."

Walked in expecting you'd be late
But you got here early and you stand and wave
I walk to you
You pull my chair out and help me in
And you don't know how nice that is
But I do

Her visitor turned as she entered and Katherine curtsied, "Sir Thomas. Forgive me for having kept you waiting. Unfortunately, my husband's health is not what it once was and I have more duties than I used to."

"Of course, Lady Latimer, of course," Sir Thomas reassured her, coming across to her and raising her up before kissing her hand gallantly, "I quite understand."

"I'm glad. May I offer you some wine? Or some ale? I'm afraid we don't have quite the selection of drinks you must be used to at Court, but I think we can offer a reasonable enough choice for all that," she asked, wondering why she was being so defensive. She wanted to do her best by John and the children, of course, but this was more than usual.

"Ale, please, Lady Latimer," Sir Thomas replied. Katherine signed to the servants to see to it and then offered him a seat, startled when, rather than sitting down, he came around behind her to help her into a chair first before taking his own place opposite her.

"Than-Thank you," she stuttered, flushing beetroot red.

"It's nothing," he replied, leaning back to take his ale from the maid as she scurried back into the room, "Now, what can I do for you?"

"Well, I'm sure you know that Snape Castle was besieged during the Pilgrimage. My husband…people say that he gave way to the rebels, that he professed his loyalty to them. But he didn't! He didn't! John is, and always has been, a loyal servant to His Majesty. He lost his health because he was imprisoned by the rebels when they stormed his residence. But people don't realise that. They think he's a traitor to the Crown when he's not. It's both paining him and making it hard for us to manage his lands as they should be managed. You're the King's brother-in-law; Uncle to the Prince. If you would only stand by us, if you could persuade the King of John's loyalty, we'd be forever grateful."

Katherine had intended to keep her composure somewhat better than that, but when she opened her mouth, the worries and strains of the last few months had just become too much for her and she ended up pleading with the knight in front of her as though she was little more than a common woman; as though she wasn't Maud Parr's daughter. The colour flooded back into her cheeks and her discomfort only worsened when Sir Thomas threw his head back and laughed; laughed a deep belly laugh.

And you throw your head back laughing
Like a little kid
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny cause
He never did
I've been spending the last 8 months
Thinking all love ever does
Is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a cafe
I watched it begin again

Katherine watched him laughing for a few moments, struggling with her own emotions. At last she said icily, "I took you for a true Knight, Sir Thomas, but if you continue to laugh at a woman in such distress, I may have to rethink that assessment."

At the sharpness in her voice, Sir Thomas wiped his eyes and visibly pulled himself together.

"Forgive me, Kathy," he chuckled, "but if you're looking to me to restore your husband to favour with His Majesty, I think you may have come to the wrong Seymour. It is Edward King Henry favours, not me. After all, Edward is the better politician and has the shrewder mind, which is precisely what His Majesty needs right now, since he is too distraught with grief over the death of my late sister to attend to Matters of State."

Katherine knew he was being too familiar; knew she should scold him for using a nickname for her, rather than her full name or her title, but she didn't. She couldn't bring herself to. It had sounded so nice; so natural on his lips; so different from the awkward "my dear" or "darling" that John bestowed on her if she'd particularly pleased him. Instead, she caught his eye and quirked her lips up into the faintest of smiles to let him know he'd pleased her, before saying, "So does that mean you will not even try?"

"Oh, no no! Quite the opposite! I only wish to warn you that I may not be successful. If that is enough for you, then I give you my solemn word that I will do everything I can to ease your burden."

"Thank you, Sir Thomas." Relief washed over Katherine and, when he leaned over and put his hand on hers, saying, "Now tell me, what is a refined, educated lady such as yourself doing so far north?", she found she had no qualms about laughing and retorting that her father had been a Cumbria man and her mother from Northamptonshire, so it was only natural she too would have gravitated north after her childhood at Court.

You said you never met one girl who
Had as many James Taylor records as you
But I do
We tell stories and you don't know why
I'm coming off a little shy
But I do

And you throw your head back laughing
Like a little kid
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny cause
He never did
I've been spending the last 8 months
Thinking all love ever does
Is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a cafe
I watched it begin again

Thomas was charming and witty, exactly the kind of young man Katherine used to love socialising with before John's health failed him and he had retreated to his estates, forcing her to go with him and nurse him. She liked John, respected him even, but an irascible man twice her age was not the man she had intended to wed when she'd been a child or even a young woman. She wouldn't have married him at all, had her mother's death not left her family in worsened straits; straits so bad that she had felt it necessary to allow William to wed her to this much older man, so that she ceased to be his responsibility. And yes, they had had some pleasant times, John and she, but just lately, John's illness and recurrent fits of bad temper were making it harder and harder to remember what those had been. Thomas – Katherine found herself already calling him Thomas in her thoughts as though she already knew that their lives were inextricably entwined – brought all those good memories back.

She would happily have sat there talking all afternoon, if her stepson John hadn't come in, saying "Father's asking for you, Mother."

Jumping as though she had been scalded, Katherine turned to him, "Tell him I'll be there as soon as I've seen Sir Thomas out, John."

The boy nodded and Katherine rose to her feet, "Well, Sir Thomas, you'd better be going. It's a long ride back to Court and though these April evenings are light, they're still cool at times. You don't want to lose the warmth of the sun."

"No need to fret, Lady Latimer," he assured her, jolted back into formality by her son's appearance, "This cloak is warmer than it looks, especially if one is riding."

And we walked down the block, to my car
And I almost brought him up
But you start to talk about the movies
That your family watches every single Christmas
And I want to talk about that
And for the first time
What's past is past

It wasn't necessary, but Katherine found herself walking Sir Thomas to the front door, filling the extra time with idle talk of how he found Court and whether he thought little Prince Edward was faring well or not.

And then they reached the door and she was lingering against the doorjamb, watching their page tighten his horse's girth as he too, hesitated.

A sudden ringing of a bell disturbed their companionable silence. Katherine started.

"My husband! I must go!"

"Very well, Lady Latimer. I shall visit again soon to let you know how I am faring in championing your cause." Thomas bowed over her hand and Katherine nodded, "Do, please, Sir Thomas. I look forward to it."

She curtsied and when she rose, he was already swinging himself up into the saddle. He paused to look back at her for just a moment – the sweetest of moments! – and then he had touched his heels to his horse's sides and was gone.

"Katherine!"

Her husband's bell was ringing again. There was anger in his voice. Katherine turned and ran up the stairs to his sickroom, unable to stop either the colour in her cheeks or the sparkle in her eyes. John would hate them, but she found herself unable to stop them.

But on a Wednesday in a cafe
I watched it begin again