A/N: Happy Bastille Day to those of you from France, French territories, and former colonies like my own country. Germany won the WC 2014 this morning, AND its also my birthday today so of course I had a lot to celebrate today including posting the new chapter :) Thank you kindly for the reviews, the faves, and follows. I love the feedback folks. Onwards!

Chapter 47: The One With The Déjà vu Moment

A few (agonizing) seconds later…

Gwen bites her lip and tries not to stare at him too closely. She'd almost forgotten how handsome he was. And if it was even possible, he looks ten times better re: hotter when he's dressed down. Like right now.

Gwen's POV

Typical. I look (and feel) like crap – with bags under my eyes, hair that won't stay in one place and I wore faded jeans and my standard lavender top over here because I forgot to do my laundry last night. He looks like he could still freaking grace the cover of GQ in his weekend clothes!…He seems…different though…I can't..I can't believe he did all this…For me…Why did he do it?! What's he playing at? Calm down girl..Wait it out..Do not leave. Yet. How crazy that we are meeting here. In the same spot we first met over a year ago…But then, given the huge sign there, this was probably all pre-planned…D'uh! I smell a Merlin….

Arthur runs a hand through his messy blonde hair and waves awkwardly to her, a slight smile on his face.

"Um…Hi", he mumbles.

She nods at him, and then gives him a small wave of her own.

"So…Stupid question but..I suppose you got my notes?" he winces inwardly hating how shaky his voice sounds right now.

Gwen smiles fleetingly, in spite of the internal struggle within her to remain aloof.

She tugs on the red PI scarf that he gave her all those months ago, tilting her head to one side as she studies him closely, "Yeeees…So..I'm guessing there's an explanation to them..well, besides the obvious?"

Arthur shifts nervously, "I needed you to hear me somehow and, I figured 'different' was better..Well I hoped so anyway".

"Right…"

"And no, I didn't just take them from the PI stationery cupboards. I bought my own. My own being a huge amount of 3M post-it products actually", he continues quickly.

He is rewarded by a flash of a grin.

"I wasn't going to insinuate anything of the sort", she replies, chewing on a piece of her hair, trying to keep a straight face.

How had Arthur known she would've been thinking the same exact thing?

He shrugs and gives her a slight smirk of his own.

"No. Not outwardly. You see the thing is, I knew that you would though..I know you. Not absolutely positively. But well enough. As you do me", his voice trails off as he looks at her, half expecting her to show some sort of negative reaction.

But she just folds her arms and nods towards the A3 sized message on the wall.

"The notes were…definitely attention grabbing. I couldn't figure out if it was you for a minute or two..Even though I recognized your writing. It was..is not really like you I guess…"

"So it wasn't totally weird me borrowing song lyrics and sticking them on post-it notes in random places all over the city?"

"Er…Well I suppose you do get brownie points for using Google and 'song meaning' search engines but..uh..yeah..well it was..a bit…possibly borderline stalker-like...How did you manage it? I'm guessing there were a few worker bees at PI lurking about the school and my neighborhood the past few days?"

Arthur shakes his head, running a hand nervously through his already mussed up hair.

Gwen's POV

It's shorter than he usually wears it. But it suits him. And he seems (if this is even possible given that you only saw him a few weeks ago) older and wiser now. Somehow.

He answers hurriedly, "No..it was all me actually…Okay, so I may have..er..had a little, minute bit of assistance entering…places. So…I didn't actually break any laws…But yeah…it was a gamble.."

Gwen's lips twitch again, but she quickly clears her throat.

"Well, it worked. I'm…here, so…?"

Arthur's POV

I can't tell what she's thinking! Maybe this is the stupidest thing I've ever done and she is just humouring me, not wanting to continue this conversation any further…Maybe I should just leave it and get over my loss? Oh stop JTing out. Eh? JT..Justin Timberlake's 'Cry me a river'? Eh? Oh never mind! I mean, get over it! Get on with it! It's do or die. Sigh..I knew it was a bad idea to watch all of the Rambo movies the other night with the boys…We could do without the cheesy 80's movie phrases right now thank you very much. Sorry, just got a bit carried away for a minute there…

Arthur shrugs and takes one step towards her, "At the risk of standing here on the street having another five minutes of uncomfortable conversation in the cold, if you…if you don't want me here, talking to you..we don't have to talk. I mean, I know what you said before, and I don't want to force you….I can leave and we ne-"

Gwen shakes her head hurriedly, "No, you don't have to…", and swallowing down the lump in her throat she speaks again, "Unless of course, you're too busy to hang around. I hear through the grapevine that your life is pretty busy these days, what with work and-"

Arthur only considers what he does next for half a second before striding right up to her.

The carefully planned (and numerously re-written) speech still sitting in the back pocket of his jeans goes down the drain. He can't remember anything that he's written down anyways.

They are standing so close they could touch each other. If they wanted to.

Gwen looks up into those eyes that used to take her breath away. And still can.

"'My life?' he echoes her, moving closer still.

"My life was always half full…until I met you", his voice trembles as he watches her eyes fill with tears, but taking a deep breath, he forges on.

Arthur's POV

No time to be proud. On your knees if you have to Pendragon.

Silence.

"The rest of whatever I am is dictated by how and where you are in relation to me. I know it sounds totally dysfunctional and I am sure some people who shall remain nameless would call me a 'sad arse' and I know that I fucked up. Badly…It just took me getting to this point in my life to realize that you are the one constant thing. When I met you, it wasn't because I was being guided to, or preordained to be with from childbirth.

It was just two people coming together – in odd circumstances, but that just made it all the more…crazy, and...Wonderful. I could be the best CEO this world has ever seen but without you, I will never be the man I aspire to be".

Gwen sucks in her breath and wipes away her tears. She looks over his shoulder. Then down at her shoes, and then back to his face.

She needs to see his eyes – they have never lied to her before.

They aren't now either.

"Arthur I-", she begins, willing herself to move backwards.

She needs space.

She wants to not feel…want…need him too.

But mostly, (because this makes no sense) she just wants to tell him she still loves him.

Arthur is too quick for her, and reaches out to cup her chin, tilting her head so she is looking up at him again.

"That evening at the wedding, two weeks ago, I tried to talk to you. To make you see that I was sorry and that I wanted a second chance. I said something that wasn't true and I need to take it back", he pauses as he watches her struggle with four different emotions all at once before settling for a raised eyebrow.

"I told you that I wanted you to be a part of my life. Well…that's not true."

She opens her mouth in disbelief, and then closes it again.

Waiting.

"Guinevere, you are my life", he replies quietly, "you have been ever since that day you – sorry I banged into you right here on this corner…With your Shrek mug, fifty bags, soaked curly hair, split tea, with all that rain! Saying 'I love you' doesn't even begin to cover it…", his voice halters as he watches her brush a tear away hurriedly.

Taking another deep breath, he speaks again, "So, maybe I should just stop now because…Because I can't say anything more. And I thought if I could just show you - in a weird way, granted, that I'm still here. Maybe...Just maybe you would listen. Yes, there've been major changes in my life, and I haven't always handled them well, okay, worse than 'not well', but I'm here. And I'm trying to be better. Still.

I would very much like to have another opportunity to be with you. Even if you probably think I am not even worth the graffiti on that wall back there. No, not the nice Charlie Chaplin and Audrey Hepburn quotes stuff, but that other dodgy material, back there…(Gwen smiles as he gestures at bench across the road which has some choice swear words tagged all over it).

Yes, I could live my life without you and do everything I am supposed to. But you know what? I don't want to. I just didn't realize all of this. Not until you weren't a part of my life anymore." his voice trails off because he realizes he probably sounds quite nutty right now.

And she hasn't said a single word since he started.

Gwen bites her lip and then smiles up at him and he lets out the breath he was holding in hope that she won't move away.

As if on cue, the skies open and the rain begins to pelt down.

It's cold and hard. But neither of them moves away.

Gwen looks up at him, a small smile on her face, despite all the tears. His own eyes are a bit misty.

Slowly, she reaches up and caresses his cheek, and he tilts his head so he lightly brushes her finger tips with his lips.

Gwen shivers in spite of herself and then nods slightly.

Arthur smile fades slightly as she gestures in the general direction of the restaurant that they should go, before turning away from him.

He can feel his insides deflating like a saggy balloon, the smile disappearing as he fights to keep his emotions in check.

Arthur's POV

You did your best Arthur…You can't ask for more. At least-

Suddenly Gwen stops and turns back to Arthur who is still standing in the same spot. She has one of her special 'Gwenism' smiles plastered on her face, and he feels his heart beating in double time again.

The wind has arrived and has helped to ease the rain off to a steady drizzle again. Her curly hair catches in the breeze and blows around her face.

She waits for him to catch up to her.

"I…um, I haven't had a chance to go down to the park, near the punts for a while. I was actually going to do that this afternoon…If you…If you wanted to come along…We could talk, hang out and..take it from there...?" she speaks quietly, the courage in her voice startling her momentarily as she waits for his response.

Grinning widely he nods and moves aside so they can walk into the entrance together.

"I would love to come to the park Guinevere", he says equally bashful, all the while looking down at her, "You know, a walk in the park always goes better with a takeaway coffee…That and a-"

"chocolate macadamia cookie", they both finish the sentence together.

"Jinx!"

"Stop that", Arthur chides gently smiling at her.

"No you stop", she replies, dark eyes shining.

They both look at each other and burst out laughing.

Then more silence.

Gwen smiles and brushing the rain off his face, she slips her other hand into his.

"By the way.."

He looks at her, squeezing her hand gently.

"Just so we're clear Arthur Pendragon; I still love you. I always have. Now, I think I love you even more though", she says softly.

His breath catches, and he reaches down to tuck a damp stray curl behind one ear.

He's missed her so much it hurts to think about it.

"How so?" he can't resist asking.

"Because anyone who spends that much money and time on post-it notes must mean serious business", she says with a straight face and a twinkle in her eyes, not unlike the one Merlin has when he's mocking him.

She laughs as he blushes.

He stares at her lovely profile, her (slightly red) beautiful brown eyes, the faint scent of white ginger lily and lavender, and damp clothing, and he feels a jolt in his stomach as he moves down towards her and-

"For feck's sake! Kiss or kill mate! We've been standing out here in the cold for the last five minutes since you decided to do this declaration lark too far away for us to even hear this Hallmark Channel stuff! Elena's been yelling at me not to dirty the glass and I for one am starving! So either make your move, or bloody wait for 'crumble time' later!" Gwaine's loud (and cheeky) voice cuts through the air, the moment, and his thoughts.

They both look up in surprise at all their friends gathered under the restaurant sheltered entrance laughing and hear Morgana shouting at Gwaine for 'ruining the moment'.

Biting down on his response (which would've been swear related anyway) Arthur listens to Gwen laughing and he joins in.

She doesn't let go of his hand until they're inside and sitting down.

While the others chat at the table, Arthur barely hears what's being said to him as he continues to stare at Gwen where she sits across from him between her brother and Merlin.

Sensing his eyes on her she looks up and beams.

But this time, the smile is for him.

A/N: And there we have it! This was one of the hardest chapters to write. I wanted to give Artie some space and a chance to really tell her what he felt. Am not sure if I managed to convey that, but it is what it is :) Thank you for reading and I would love to hear what you guys thought of it. One chapter left to go..sigh. Off to enjoy the rest of my birthday now x IslandGem