Chapter 89

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Jaime sat beside Tommen on his little bed. He had stopped Sansa as she carried Julianna off to bed, and taken the babe from her arms, insisting that he would put the children to bed. He had told her she should rest because of the babe growing inside her, but he could see in her eyes that she didn't believe his reasons. But Sansa gave in to his wishes and remained in their bedchamber, allowing Jaime to read the children their story and tuck them in for the night. The truth was, after seeing Myrcella, he wanted to be with those of his children who didn't hate him. Julianna and Tommen were both so affectionate towards him that it almost made him forget how much Myrcella despised him.

Jaime looked down at Julianna, who was cuddled up on his lap. She was half asleep, gripping his tunic possessively as she rested her head against his chest while Tommen read a bedtime story aloud. As he sat with them, stroking Julianna's hair and listening to Tommen read, Jaime found his mind wandering back to Myrcella. My daughter. Jaime shook his head. It didn't feel quite right to describe her that way. She was Cersei's daughter. She was never his daughter. It had not escaped his notice that the very sight of him had caused her pain. He had been curious to see her, but the moment he met her eyes, he only saw Cersei looking back at him. The accusation in her eyes – and her words - had cut him to the quick.

Jaime had never before given any thought to what the children felt for him. He had thought they were as indifferent to him as he was towards them. And now he could not stop thinking about how it had hurt to see the way Myrcella looked at him. As if she wished more than anything that he wasn't her father. As if he had ruined her life. I never wanted to hurt her. Cersei convinced me it was best for them that I stay away. And, he supposed, it was easier to stay away from them. He'd not truly been a father until the moment he knew Sansa was carrying his child. Until the moment Julianna was placed in his arms.

"That was the end, Uncle Jaime," Tommen whispered, looking up at him.

Jaime nodded, lifting the sleeping babe into his arms and placing her in her bed. As he stared at his daughter who, just like Myrcella, was the picture of her mother, Jaime felt nothing but regret at how he and Cersei had affected their children's lives. Julianna is the only daughter I've ever known or loved. But Myrcella deserves better. She deserves to be loved by her father. He wished he could love her as he should – as a father should – but he didn't feel the same connection with her as he felt with Julianna. Or even with Tommen. Jaime leaned over and kissed her forehead, covering her with her blanket. He smiled at the blanket Sansa had made her – carefully stitched with golden lions and silver direwolves running together.

"Good night, Uncle," Tommen said quietly, sliding under the covers to lie down, once the babe settled.

He looked at Tommen and saw such goodness and innocence. Would he even understand if I were to tell him that I'm his father? Jaime sat beside Tommen again. "Are you feeling better? I know you were sad when Myrcella returned to Dorne."

Jaime immediately regretted his words as the boy's eyes filled with tears. "Why didn't Cella come with us?"

"I know you miss her and that you wanted Myrcella to come with us." Tommen nodded, leaning against Jaime's arm. "But she's happy in Dorne. And I know you want her to be happy." Jaime hesitantly held the boy against him, wanting to comfort him but not knowing how. Perhaps I should have let Sansa tuck him in for the night. "You're happy aren't you? Living with me and Sansa?"

Tommen looked up at him and nodded, wiping his tears. "I don't ever want to stop living with you and Sansa and Julianna." Tommen looked down and Jaime saw that he was fearful to speak his next words. "Myrcella looked so much like mother. I miss her. Do you miss mother?"

Everyday. Part of him felt that he was betraying Sansa by even thinking of Cersei. He didn't miss being her lover. He didn't miss the damage their relationship caused. But he missed his sister. He missed his twin – the person who had been by his side since birth. He missed the girl she was when they were growing up and inseparable.

"I do miss her. Just as you miss Myrcella."

"But it's all right for us to be happy now. With Sansa and Julianna." Jaime looked at him, wondering if Sansa had spoken to him. "That's what Myrcella said. She said that Sansa is my mother now and that she'll take care of me."

Jaime didn't know how to respond to the boy, and instead kissed the top of his head and tucked him in. "Sansa loves you very much. As do I. And you will always have a home with us. I promise you that."

"I love you, too, Uncle."

Jaime closed the door to the children's room and found Sansa in bed waiting for him. She smiled when she saw him, but he could see the worry in her eyes as she watched him undress. He had noticed her staring at him, while he watched Myrcella sail away. Jaime had made an effort to reassure her that he was well. That Myrcella had not hurt him. But Sansa knew him well enough not to be fooled by his efforts to hide his feelings.

Jaime joined her in bed, sighing as he leaned against the pillows. She slowly moved toward him, running her hand over his chest, and kissed him softly. "Is everything all right?"

"Of course. Tommen read a story to Julianna and they're both sleeping. "

"That's not what I meant." She kissed his cheek and nuzzled against his neck.

"I know."

"I wish that you would talk to me. About Myrcella."

Jaime looked at his sweet wife and, as much as he wanted to allow her to comfort him, he knew he could not be so cruel to her. He had seen the fear in her eyes at the prospect of seeing Myrcella. He knew she feared they would have to take her in, as well as Tommen. He could scarce blame her. Especially when she saw how much Myrcella looked like Cersei. Perhaps sensing his reticence, Sansa began speaking, cuddling against him. "I was afraid that Myrcella was going to live with us. I know it's terrible of me but…she looks so like Cersei and I was afraid that you would return to being consumed with guilt over…Cersei's death and…I was afraid that it would be as if Cersei were living with us. That you would never be able to escape the…hold she had over you. I know it's silly. Myrcella's a sweet girl and if you ever want her to be with us I-"

"She doesn't want that, Sansa. You need not worry."

Sansa sat up beside him, looking him in the eyes. Jaime broke her gaze, unable to withstand her scrutiny. "I think you want a relationship with her. Maybe not as her father but…I think you do care for her. I saw how much her words hurt you," Sansa whispered, running her fingers over his hair.

Jaime took the comfort Sansa offered him, leaning to rest his head on her shoulder. "I wish I had said more to her," he whispered against Sansa's neck and she wrapped her arms around him, holding him in her arms. "That I could have made her understand. Not that I'm certain that I understand myself. I may never see her again and…I didn't expect her to look so much like…her mother and I couldn't seem to find the words. Or, perhaps I'm simply a terrible father."

He heard Sansa huff. "You know that's not true. You are such a loving father to Julianna. And to Tommen. And I know you'll love our new little one, as well."

Jaime moved his hand to her still-flat belly, wondering about the babe growing inside of her. "I don't deserve this family you've given me. I don't deserve this when Myrcella's life is in ruins because of me. She was a princess and now…" She's a bastard girl born of my aberrant lust. And Cersei is rotting in her crypt.

"You do deserve happiness, Jaime. You've earned this family and we've built it together." She was quiet for a while, just rubbing her fingers through his hair. "I think Myrcella is right. You should tell Tommen the truth. I'm not telling you what to do but…you should try, Jaime. He will learn the truth eventually and it will be easier if he hears it from you."

The thought of telling Tommen the truth terrified him. He'd toyed with the idea of telling Tommen that he was his father several times since the boy started living with them. But he'd been too cowardly to do so. And now he had no desire to tell him the truth. He didn't want Tommen to look at him the way that Myrcella had. He had just begun to form a relationship with Tommen. His son. He had genuinely come to love the boy.

"I don't know how to tell him something like that."

Sansa kissed the top of his head. "You'll find the words, Jaime. He loves you so much. You must see the way he follows you around, trying to be like you. You may have gotten started late but…you're more a father to him than King Robert ever was." Jaime smiled to himself, thinking of how Tommen had become his little companion during their journey.

Sansa leaned back against the pillows, gently guiding Jaime to rest his head on her chest. He closed his eyes in pleasure and rested his hand on her belly as Sansa held him and kissed the top of his head. "I could not imagine a better father for my children. Myrcella would be lucky to have you in her life. Please don't think you're not a good father. Don't ever think that, Jaime."

He nodded against her, not entirely convinced, and closed his eyes, trying to forget the pain of Myrcella's rejection of him. She's well enough in Dorne, with people to care for her. And I can raise Tommen and give him a good home with a family that loves him. Jaime didn't know if caring for Tommen would make up for what he and Cersei had done to their children, but it was all he could do.

…

Tyrion continued digging through the crates of books and papers he'd located in the bowls of the Red Keep. They appeared to date back to Robert's Rebellion. Several crates were filled with journals and songs belonging to Rhaeger Targaryen. However did these survive Robert's reign? Tyrion had thought that Robert had destroyed every remnant of Prince Rhaeger, once he took the throne. He'd heard Robert bellow about his hatred for Rhaeger often enough. Yelling that he did not want to see anything that would remind him of the man who took his betrothed, Lyanna Stark. Rapist, he would call him.

Tyrion had always wanted to conduct an exploration of the relics and papers hidden away inside the Red Keep - to put together the history of the rulers of the Realm. But he'd not possessed the authority to do so until he was made Hand of the King. And then, when he served as Joffrey's Hand, they had been at war, and there was no time for such tasks. Now, the Realm was relatively stable and Tyrion had convinced Daenerys to allow the Northerners to battle amongst themselves.

Though the people were wary of a Targaryen on the throne again, they did not wish to face dragonfire. So they had grudgingly accepted her on the throne. For now. But, their songs were of others – largely Jaime and Sansa, thanks to Tyrion's work. He'd heard tell of songs of the Dragon Queen's cruelty to sweet King Tommen and Tyrion's own bravery against Joffrey the Wicked. It's best to keep the Queen inside the Red Keep and far away from the smallfolk for a time.

Tyrion returned to his task, and found an old scroll with the Targaryen sigil on it and words that appeared to match the handwriting in Rhaeger's journals. "The dragon has three heads. There must be a third one." Tyrion read the words over and over in his head, trying to discern the meaning. This appears to be in Prince Rhaeger's hand, judging by the writing in his journals. Does he mean a third child?

Tyrion recalled that Princess Elia had fallen ill after the birth of both children. The doomed princess had been blamed for Rhaeger's actions with Lyanna Stark. He'd even heard Ser Kevan say that had Rhaeger wed Cersei, a healthier wife, he would not have looked twice at the Stark girl. Did Rhaeger take Lyanna in hopes of fathering a third child?

Tyrion recalled speaking to Jaime over the years about Rhaeger Targaryen. He knew his brother had admired the Prince very much and believed he would have made an excellent king. Once, Tyrion had asked Jaime if he knew why he would do something so stupid as to kidnap Lyanna Stark – starting a war - and Jaime had only said that circumstances may not have been as everyone believed. Jaime told him that Rhaeger had believed in dreams and visions. He had believed in fate and magic, allowing prophesies and passages he read to guide the course of his life.

Tyrion continued reading through Rhaeger's papers, and realized that Rhaeger had believed the prophecy had been fulfilled. There were journal entries made during the Rebellion – just before he left King's Landing for his fateful battle on the Trident – that spoke of the third head of the dragon. Before Tyrion could consider it further, he heard voices, one of which he recognized as the sweet voice of his lady wife. Luckily, he was small enough to duck below the crates and remain out of sight. Though not before glimpsing the long purple and silver robes of the man who walked with her. Varys had arranged their marriage and Tyrion was quite interested in hearing their conversation.

"I trust Lord Tyrion is proving himself a worthy husband, my lady."

"Tyrion is an amusing man. His wit…reminds me of my grandmother. And he has been…very kind to me. Considering," Margaery responded tactfully. Margaery was tactful about everything.

"My whispers tell me that you will likely find yourself with child soon."

"Is that not why those of noble birth marry? To produce heirs. Casterly Rock needs one."

Casterly Rock already has an heir. A little red-haired one. It almost cheered him to think of Margaery's reaction when he informed her of his intention to give the Rock back to Jaime and Sansa. The Tyrells already have Highgarden. There's no need for thorny roses to cover the walls of Casterly Rock. It's always been meant for Jaime and I brought myself nothing but misery trying to show Lord Tywin that I deserved it.

Any children Margaery bears me will have to inherit another estate. He'd been wed to Margaery for nearly a moon's turn and she had found her way into his bed every night. It was unnerving how single-minded she was about fucking him once she climbed into his bed. Though she had been a maiden when they wed, she was far too comfortable giving and receiving pleasure not to have had a great deal of…training. He had bedded whores who were less sure of themselves.

Though he took pleasure in her body, Tyrion was not such a fool as to trust her. He was terrified to touch any flagon of wine that she had not sipped from first. He saw that his mistrust annoyed her. But he'd rather hurt her feelings than meet the same end as Joffrey had. Now that he saw his lady wife with Lord Varys, Tyrion began to wonder if the Master of Whispers had colluded with the Tyrells to kill his wretched nephew.

"My dear," he heard Varys say softly to Margaery," I realize that both you and your father were not…enthusiastic about this match. But I assure you, it is a far better one than Littlefinger gave you. Your marriage to Joffrey would have been nothing but a misery. And it would not have brought you the power you desired."

"I was Queen. What more power is there?"

Varys clucked his tongue in disappointment. "Lady Margaery, the person who sits on the Iron Throne is rarely the one with the power. A clever girl would not have wed Joffrey. She would have wed Lord Tywin. He was where the actual power resided, even if Joffrey sat on the throne."

"Whatever is your point, Lord Varys?"

"The power now resides with your lord husband. The Queen is not weak…but she has not ruled before. She does not know her Realm or her people. And she trusts Lord Tyrion to teach her. The Queen will desire a friend – a confidant – and who better than the lady wife of her most trusted advisor? Provided, of course, that she sees you as an asset to him. It will serve you well to become a confidant to your husband as well."

"Tyrion does not trust me. With good reason," she allowed.

"Make him trust you. The person he is closest to is his brother. Now that Ser Jaime has fled the Realm with Lady Sansa, your lord husband will be looking for someone else to trust. You may not realize it, but you are in a position to rule the Realm my dear. Through your husband. Even Lord Tywin was ruled by his lady wife."

Tyrion suddenly wished that Jaime was there. Now that he had no one he could truly trust, he realized how much he'd relied on Jaime. He may have lied about Tysha, but he could admit that Jaime had done all in his power to try to right that wrong. He'd never lied about anything else. He'd never hurt
Tyrion in any other way. I can trust Jaime to tell me the truth. No one else. Tyrion had finally been given all that he had ever wanted – a beautiful, high born lady wife, he was Hand of the Queen and Lord of Casterly Rock. And it wasn't enough. I miss my brother.

Jaime and his children were the only family Tyrion had left. Though Ser Addam had written and advised that Lady Genna and Ser Kevan had both arrived at the Rock, he knew they would not forgive him for killing Lord Tywin. They had not loved him as much as Jaime. They would not embrace him or see him as their family again. Tyrion understood. He would not forgive anyone who took Jaime from him.

Tyrion resolved that he would re-double his efforts with the many singers that he had dispatched throughout the Realm. The Northerners, led by Brynden and Edmure Tully, were marching toward Winterfell and would soon make their stand against Roose Bolton. Once Winterfell was back in the hands of the Starks, he wanted the smallfolk clambering for the return of Lady Sansa. She is the key to Daenerys allowing Jaime to return. I know she feels a kinship to the girl who was married off to a man she didn't love – only to find the love of her life. The Queen had spoken of her marriage to Khal Drogo and how she had come to love him; just as Sansa had come to love Jaime.

Thoughts of his Stark good-sister made his thoughts return to Lady Lyanna, another Stark girl who influenced the Realm. If he was to understand the mystery of Rhaeger's journals, he would have to speak with someone who would know – someone who was there. Though anyone Tyrion could think of was dead now. If only that little shit Joffrey had not taken Ned Stark's head. Tyrion knew he would have to make a visit to Winterfell, if all went as expected, and Lady Stark reclaimed it from Roose Bolton. Perhaps Lady Catelyn will know what her husband found when he reached the Tower of Joy.

…

Next Chapter: Jaime and Sansa arrive in the Free Cities