What Is Love?

Driving back to Hikari's house, the road seemed clear of traffic, and with that the terrible accident. In comparison to the drive from Amane's house to the dinner, it was a relatively shorter drive. No lights were on at the house, with no car, which meant that Jack and Hikari's mother were still out. Amane parked on the driveway close to the porch. They walked hand in hand once more to the doorway.

"Thank you Amane," Hikari said to the older girl.

"I wish I could spend longer with you" Amane replied. They smiled together in the darkness, Amane found she was craving to touch, to kiss, to hold Hikari, but dared not to dwell in those thoughts. She had no idea why they were coming, or from where. Hikari was so little, so innocent. Amane felt like a pedophile for thinking like this, then realized with sadness, that technically, she was. She was nineteen, and would be twenty by winter. Would Hikari even be seventeen by then? How could she have such thoughts about another human being without even knowing when their birthday was, or what school they went to? But these thoughts subsided quickly when Hikari began leaning closer to Amane. Her heart thudded through her chest, up into her throat, and almost spilled out of her mouth. Everything about Hikari was intensified in that moment; the way the soft wind blew her dress against her figure, the vivid moonlight highlighting her hair, her face, her sweet skin, her gorgeous sapphire eyes.

"Wait, Amane..."

Hikari's words suddenly put a pause to Amane's thoughts. Hikari looked at Amane in a haze. Against the darkness, Amane glowed. Her hair swayed softly in the wind, hiding parts of her lovable, deep eyes. Her tall, slender frame was open and inviting; Hikari longed to embrace her and feel protected by this fascinating, boyish young woman. The Prince and the peasant girl, she thought. She spoke slowly, a sad catch in her voice. "Amane... Tonight... This week... It's all been so amazing, really. But..."

"What are we?" Amane guessed, realizing Hikari's thoughts were akin to hers.

"Exactly... Amane, I don't want to be pushing myself into your life Amane. I... I mean, really, you must be so busy riding Star Bright, and training, and... I don't want your career to suffer because you're with some sixteen year old girl."

"I won't be Hikari. Besides, in the scheme of things, what does it matter? I can't do it forever after all. You though... You're not some sixteen year old girl, you're a blessing; you came out of nowhere as I was starting to feel like I had no one. You make the world glow around you, you bring me this sense of happiness that I've never known before. Hikari... Do you... Will you..." Amane found herself faltering in words. Just ask her. Just do it. You've already been on a date with her. You've already held her hand. Just ask her to be your girlfriend.

The words tried to form but... God, why the hell am I so nervous? She's not like anyone else I've ever met. She's only sixteen though, and we still hardly know one another... But it's so-

"Amane... I know... I know this must be hard because I'm not even out of school yet, and I see what's happening with us," Hikari's words scared her as they came out. She thought she would faint as each one would pass through her lips. I have to say it, it's already come this far. "I really, really enjoy your company, Amane. You came to me in just the same way, senpai. If it's my age, I can wait. If I'm taking this all the completely wrong way, just tell me. I can go-"

"No, Hikari, please, don't talk like that. No one is more special to me. No one. Hikari, I... Will you... ?" Please, please understand Hikari...

"Yes, Amane-senpai?"

The older girl was still deeply entranced within her young companion's bulbous blue orbs. Amane rested her hands on Hikari's shoulders, that small movement alone nerve racking, the contact between them exploding the tension. She could only barely contain the restraint she hardly had left against pulling her against her and stealing her first kiss. She wondered if Hikari was having the same seemingly scandalous thoughts, though only very benign, harmless even in reality. The younger girl, almost as if responding to her partner's thoughts, pushed herself towards the bluenette with her small, shivering body unconsciously and involuntary. Amane's body reacted on its own- her hands slid from Hikari's shoulders to her hands. She pulled the small, soft fingers behind her, and Hikari instinctively let them grab her vest softly behind her back, lifting her chin and standing slightly on her toes. Amane's hands renewed their curiosity, one finding it's way under her arm and around Hikari's hip, the other resting against her cheek. Amane began to close the distance between them, until she could whisper on her lips.

"Hikari..." she breathed. Their eyes had closed, but knew exactly where they were to each other. Their cheeks brushed, their noses touched, and their lips stopped just shy of each other. Amane's hand slid a bit to where Hikari's jawline and neck met and softly pulled her that bare breadth of distance in between, letting her lips explore another's, Hikari's, for the first time. It overwhelmed her; it tasted like nothing else she could have imagined. It set her on a high no drug could attain. They felt so soft, so warm on hers. Everything became hyper sensitive about it. She felt Hikari's soft tremble as it happened, her hands grabbing tighter onto her shirt, her chest and hips resting against hers, her movement against them as she slowly bounced up slightly as she balanced on her toes. She could feel as her body melt into Hikari the moment they connected, then set fire as she moved her small body against hers. Amane pressed her lips deeper into Hikari's, their hips moving with a subtle, slow rhythm; waves in sync with the ocean. Hikari wasn't exempt from the sensations- her hand snaked into Amane's hair tightened its grip. She realized it was turning into more than what her first kiss should be, but the pair were powerless to stop it. In the dead of night, their bodies seemed twice as aware of their contact. Hikari's dress seemed incredibly thin; Amane felt like she was sweating under her own clothes.

Finally, the absolute need to breathe arose, not from the kiss alone, but everything else that had accompanied it, or they were going to pass out from asphyxiation. Hikari breathed heavily as she took in all that just happened to her and her world, while she rested her face inside the crook in Amane's neck. Her hand still gripped onto the bluenette's velvet hair, a soft tug each time she inhaled. The older girl left her lips near her lover's ear, breathing just as hard but she had come back quicker. She felt Hikari breathing against her neck and it made her crazy, the soft pull of her hair enticing new emotions and instincts to arise. She thought of her own lips on Hikari's neck and throat, and the curiosity built again. She bent down and placed her still tingling lips to the soft skin on Hikari's throat.

Once again, Hikari felt the waves of heat rise and crest inside of her, rippling from Amane's lips. Hikari's eyes shot open. Her hand jerked Amane's hair just a little rougher than before, and her body jolted into Amane's. She felt Amane kissing her neck, nibbling just a bit, and the wet skin felt amazing as hell. Her heart beat shot through the sky. She felt her knees weaken, so she again wrapped her slender arm tighter around Amane, secured around her chest. Amane in return held Hikari higher, closer, and tighter, to her body by her hips. She flicked her tongue across the blonde's throat, which pulled the smallest, faintest moan from Hikari.

It sounded like the loudest cry in the world to Amane.

Knowing this was what her animalistic instinct wanted, she nipped sucked on the hot skin, her tongue eternally remembering that sweet taste, coming out for another every time the chance presented itself. Hikari's fingers dug into Amane's back, not doing well to hold back the soft sounds from the back of her throat, and she battled the urge to wrap her legs around Amane too, especially as she tangled her lengthy fingers in her long, blonde hair, touching the back of her neck in the perfect compliment to the movement of her mouth and lips. She knew for a fact that it was going way too fast now, and struggled to pull away from Amane amazing lips; she never could've begin to even imagine the feeling that the older girl incited all over and within herself. What were possibly only moments felt like forever with Amane; the bliss of this new feeling was impossible to break from. She eventually did put herself back together enough to push away softly, but enough for Amane to catch, who'd already been very keenly aware of how far she was pushing her limits. The Rider retracted from her ministrations, slowly inching her lips up her neck and jaw to her ear. She placed her hands back to Hikari's shoulders, noticing how bad the girl was shivering, and not from any kind of chill.

"You taste good, Hikari," she whispered, a husky edge in her voice.

Hikari's breath caught. Amane-senpai... Damn, what are you doing to me? This... so damn amazing... How did you get me like this? How did you get me to swear like this?... Damn Amane, you're too good...

Amane chuckled, "I'm too good at what?"

Hikari gasped, and shook with embarrassment. I said that out loud?! "Wha-? I- Uh- Amane!"Amane covered Hikari's lips with her own again, partly in amusement, partly because she wanted to kiss her again, but mostly because she wanted Hikari to feel good. Maybe not to the extent Amane WANTED to make her, but...

Maybe someday...

Their kiss resumed the passion from before. The felt wide awake in each other's arms, but they knew it was also getting late. Hikari was the first to pull away again, for fear she wouldn't be able to pull away if she let it go on, but placed a tender kiss on Amane's cheek so as not to give off the wrong message.

"It's getting late; my mom will be back soon." Hikari told Amane, sad that she would unfortunately have to leave.

"True..." She sighed, but nodded knowing her partner was right. She unwillingly placed some distance between their bodies; the constant contact was keeping her from thinking clearly. "Will you call me in the morning before the race?"

"Of course," Hikari's face immediately brightened again. She tried desperately to convince herself that Amane really did need to leave, and that she really couldn't go with... No matter how much she didn't want to acknowledge the consequences should she do otherwise.

Amane scratched her neck, really not wanting to leave Hikari in the middle of the night, alone with only a drunk fool and a careless mother for company. "Do you need a ride to the track? Maybe you could..."

"Actually, my friend Yaya is picking me up with her girlfriend Tsubomi... Amane, I couldn't leave tonight..."

"No, I understand, I'm sorry," Amane fumbled on her words, trying to recover. Groping to return the conversation to an easy flow, she asked, "Does your mom and Jack know your going?"

"Yeah. Yaya calls me every time a race comes up, even if she can't always make it to them, so I just tell them right after regardless. I usually take the bus those days. There's no way I'd miss it, Amane-senpai."

They smiled at each other. Amane kissed Hikari's cheek and said to her, "I can't wait to see you there."

"Me neither... I wish you could stay. Or I could go..."

"Me too... but hey, tomorrow will be here soon, ya know?"

"True," she hugged Amane tightly. "Amane..."

"Yes?"

"Promise me you'll drive safely, okay?"

Amane's face fell worried, knowing she was still plagued from the scene earlier. She put a hand under her chin and lifted it so her eyes were but just a few mere breadths from one another, enough for the deep oceans to crash into the warm expanses of earth. "I promise dear."

Hikari felt another surge of happiness course through her. "Dear?"

"Uh," Amane blushed. Was that too much? "U-um"

"I...it's cute... I like it," Hikari got on her tiptoes to take her kiss on Amane's cheek. "I'll miss you."

"As will I." Amane kissed Hikari's hand, then turned to leave. She walked down the length of the driveway and got on her bike. In the dark, she carefully pulled out, and looked at Hikari as long as she could. It would be a long ride home with the blonde girl living in her mind. She had promised her to drive safely though, so she forced herself to focus on the road.

Ten, twenty, then thirty minutes passed and Amane was home. It was a little after eleven when she walked through her apartment door. She tossed her vest onto the kitchen counter, smelling Hikari as it went by. Her scent ignited the memory of them kissing on her couch and making out on her porch. She remembered how her hands itched to run along her hips, her back. She wondered what the skin felt like.

"God, what's going on with me?" Amane was too tired to be surprised with herself. She was getting more and more used to this growing curiosity that she would never let herself explore with Hikari until she was older, until she was ready at least, until they completely understood what it was that was igniting like a volcano between them. She walked to and looked out the window and saw the two birds resting on the branches of the tree. She smiled again, thinking of the birds that sat at the sill of the barn, and how they sang. She just noticed how beautiful it was, and how Amane had yet still to hear Hikari sing.

"Tomorrow, after the race I'll ask her. I'll bet... I'll bet she's the most beautiful singer to walk the face of the Earth," she fantasized about it, feeling like a giddy little girl daydreaming about a crush from school.

Amane grabbed a pair of boxers and a tank top, and then headed for the shower. The hot water broiled her skin, which was still warm from the memory of Hikari. Amane remembered the heat rising up and around them, inside of them, spreading and consuming them with each of their tiniest movements. She spiked the water down so it was only mildly warm. She now remembered again the first day she saw Hikari. Well, the first day up close. She remembered the race from last Friday, where she saw the small girl sitting with a black haired girl about her age watching her and cheering as she won. The smile it brought on Amane's face was humongous; it felt like it was literally stretched ear to ear. But having saw Hikari in the gazebo on that rainy day...

"She's beautiful..."

Amane's shower didn't last long. Being in the warm water wouldn't be good for her imagination, and she wanted so desperately to at least attempt to keep her thoughts of Hikari unperverted. She was young and whole and innocent. Amane didn't want to be the one that tainted her, but she did want her. Conflicted, she pushed the conclusion that Hikari would come to her if she ever wanted something, and until then she vowed not to push any further. Three days wasn't long enough to want... Well, whatever this was. Amane refused to put the name to it, thinking it would make it just that much more difficult to ignore the feelings.

She dried off, ruffled her hair to dry it a bit, and put her boxers on. The apartment was too warm to put her tank top on, but really she knew the heated feeling still emanated from the thoughts of Hikari.

The rider walked into her bedroom groggy, ready for bed. As she was falling asleep, she asked, "Ootori, what is going on with you?"

Her dreams were filled with Hikari. Her lips, her eyes, her smile, her hair, only she existed in the night. Her beautiful blonde hair was again topped with a halo. They lay alone somewhere quiet, kissing and touching and holding one another. Amane craved to touch her like she did in her dreams, because even in her subconscious, Hikari was the dominate figure. But so were Amane's deeper desires.

Hikari walked in the door after Amane had left, wishing desperately she would come back to sweep her off her feet and take them both away to her home. Still though, she was content to know she would see Amane, and they could be together daily. She thought about their new closeness.

"So... It's real... I just can't believe it... I'm Amane's. My first relationship is with Amane Ootori" Hikari swelled again with happiness. We're together... How'd I get that lucky? Amane must know there are a lot of other girls better for her than me though... Surely someone older, someone more experienced... Maybe someone she knew longer...

Hikari thought of Chikaru, her long pretty black hair tied at the end so it sat comfortably against the back of her silky crimson red dress. Maybe she would be closer to Amane's liking. She's definitely old enough and plenty more confident than I.

But then again...

Hikari thought of how Amane would keep her eyes set on Hikari whenever she wasn't in a conversation. How, knowing she would be upset, had stopped by a gas station to hold her while she cried, scared for Amane's safety. How she promised to be safe, and promised again when she left. How Hikari knew in her heart Amane would keep her word, no matter what she promised. And especially how when they kissed, she could not only her own self feel alive with waves of flames, but could feel them emanate from Amane too.

So, all in one day, I started to believe in love, I had my first kiss, made out on my porch, and started my first relationship, with Amane Ootori no less. Hikari felt swooned by the connection between her and the regally handsome looking woman.

But, because it was way late, she decided to hurry up and take a shower before her mom and Jack showed up. Euphoria still washed Hikari from head to toe. She bounced a little to her room to grab her pajamas. Once inside the bathroom, she caught a good look of herself in the mirror. Her blonde curls had brightened in the summer sun, and her skin had darkened a bit. Her blue eyes glowed with happiness, and...oh crap.

On her neck was a purple little circle. Oh god...

What if her mother saw? Amane and she was definitely not something she wanted her mom to see. It shined brightly on her skin, but strangely... It didn't bother Hikari for long.

I guess this proves it; I really am hers. She saw the hickey as Amane's mark on her, claiming her as hers exclusively, and just like that, she loved it. Now, how she going to hide it she wasn't sure. A collared shirt might just cover it, considering it was pretty low. She blushed furiously as she remembered the moan that had come out of her. She couldn't help it; it had felt so good... She hoped Amane hadn't noticed, but then again, it had been silent out in the dead of night. She blushed harder and harder still thinking about it. She undressed and turned the water on, stepping into the warm spray. The mild heat felt good against her skin, each drop reminded her body of Amane's touch- how those strong, hard hands could be so gentle and smooth. Hikari scrunched the shampoo into her hair, trying to remember how the rider's firm hands had snaked themselves so intricately into the blonde curls. The water raced down her hair and slicked her flesh with the fruity smelling shampoo, and her thoughts of Amane took to a new sensation. Surprised, her eyes flashed wide open, trying to figure out what in the world her brain was trying to process. Perplexed, she rinsed off the shampoo, quickly washed her body, and got out to dry.

The cool air chilled her, and she hurriedly threw on her clothes. She gathered her dress and her towel, putting them into her hamper. The chill quickly evaporated and soon she felt uncomfortably hot. She turned the fan on in her room and lay on her bed over her blanket. Feeling the need to hold on to something, she grabbed onto her pillow, and realized she wanted Amane to be the one she was holding onto. Sighing, she did her best to fall asleep pretending it was. She was almost unconscious when she heard the front door open, and she heard the disgusting smacking of Jack's hand against her mother's rear end. "Damn bitch, work that old thing!"

"Oh Jack, you sly boy," her mother replied. Her speech was slurred and she sounded like she was trying to be seductive. Great, they're both drunk, she thought. I'll be up all night now.

Or maybe not. She heard the sounds of drunken lust fade behind a slammed door. She hoped she wouldn't hear their loud moans and calls all night. It's like they completely forget Hikari was on the other side of the house. She wondered how anyone could want to subject themselves to degrading their self worth by getting drunk and practically beat each other in what was called passion. She hoped Amane never wanted that from her. How could that be beautiful? Those movies Yaya and her watched on their sleepovers, where two characters fall in love and have sex near the end, where it all ends happy, is complete bull. From what Hikari's lived with, it's just vulgar, raging primal instinct to dominate one another. That's not love. If that's what her brain was trying to decipher when she was in the shower, then she was disgusted with herself.

But...

Hikari found that she still couldn't let go of the pillow which she still imagined to be Amane. Hikari was again torn, and once more gnawed on her lip. She needed to be careful or it would end up splitting. She also realized the same would apply to her and Amane- she wanted to be careful with her. Kissing was fine by her, all the way, and holding her hand made her heart soar. But... Anymore than that... It would split Hikari's heart in two. She had no idea what that would do to them, at any age, at any time, if they ever did love each other like... Well, Hikari wondered again if love was real anymore. No one she knew was really IN love. Except one couple stood out in her mind- Miyo and Rashu. Suddenly, she longed for Amane and herself to be like that. Having grown old together, walking together in harmony, the presence of each other calming. She wondered if Hikari could talk to Miyo about Amane and her. She seemed to know Amane well, obviously Amane saw her like a maternal figure. She hoped Hikari made her Rider as happy as Rashu made Miyo. But then again, it might be awkward talking to Amane's competitor about such a topic in confidence. But who else did she have to turn to? Yaya had only just started dating Tsubomi, and love her friends as she may, their puppy love was still mostly entwined with teasing and picking on each other. Only now, Yaya's flirting and Tsubomi's blush was followed by kisses, and their teasing by hugs. They were adorable together, but their dynamics weren't the same. Amane was so gentle and kind to Hikari, and the blonde tried so hard to make Amane be happy to be around her.

Hikari thought of the kisses exchanged between her and Amane. She remembered the butterflies in her stomach and the rapid pace of her heart. She remembered how good it felt to simply hold her hand or see her smile. She remembered the dreams of them together, and how she held her on her porch before she would leave.

So, Hikari decided that she'd have to come to her own solutions on two things:
What is love, and...
Well...

Was she in love?