I Do Not Own Inuyasha

Chapter 18

Rin walked up to him as he sat in his chair with a book. She knew then whatever happened to him had cost him Shishinki and Koga, his two best friends in this world. Except her, but Rin was the exception to them. All of them. She remembered winning over Shishinki with ease and Koga as well. They had become a family to her in their own way but neither of them had ever beat her Sesshomaru-sama. Smiling slightly she looked at Sesshomaru as he looked up at her with blank gold eyes.

She held up her white board then and smiled a bittersweet smile as a few tears slipped down her rain soaked face. He would never hear her say it again, not that she really minded not having a voice anymore, but he would need to know. And she would write it down for him as often as he needed it because it was true. It was a simple fact, it had been her reality since she had been two and he had let her sleep with him during that raging storm.

I LOVE YOU

Three simple words, three words she knew only she had ever said to him. His eyes flicked up to hers' then and before she knew what he was going to do he pulled her to him. She gasped as he wrapped his arm around her with mokomoko securing her to him as he buried his nose in her hair and held her tightly to him. Her hands trembled as she held her whiteboard then she let the marker and board drop from her hands as she clung to him and sobbed again. He didn't react as he held her firmly against him. She smiled a bit as she sob because she felt what he had never said to her. She felt loved and for the first time in a decade she felt whole as he held her tightly to him.

Her mother had never loved her, always called her a burden because her mother wanted to marry rich and having a kid hindered those chances. Her father, whoever he had been, was never around and she sincerely doubted he even knew about her because she didn't even think her mother knew who he was. She hadn't ever had siblings, and Jaken always scolded her for something or other as a child. No one had ever loved her.

Then there had been that night and a surly ten year old had growled and snapped her but let her cling to him as thunder terrified her. She never forgot, he also took over her care. Though she doubted he had realized that's what he had been doing because until she was with the Onigumos she hadn't realized it. Sesshomaru had fed her, clothed her, bathed her, played with her, disciplined her, scolded her, helped her, taught her, guarded her, and been everything to her. He had grown up fast being her caretaker. He was a parent, a brother, a friend, and a protector for her at the tender age of ten onwards. He was the only reason she had even made it to twelve without being smacked around.

One of her mom's particularly nasty boyfriends had snuck into her room, she had screamed bloody murder and it wasn't her mom or anyone else who was her savior but Sesshomaru had come. And at twelve he had just about ripped the poor man apart then he had threated her mother before she had been moved into the main house with a room just three doors down from his.

The old memory made her smile as she clung to her friend and savior. He was always there, even when he wasn't he was there for her. He gave her courage, he gave her strength, he taught her discipline and respect, he had been everything to her and as a child she hadn't noticed. Now though, now she noticed and couldn't stop noticing because things hadn't changed in that sense. But things had changed, they had changed a lot over the last decade. It amazed her, considering what she was now and how happy she had been before.

"Thank you Rin," he murmured as he held her to him and his lips were pressed to her head. She just cried with pain, happiness, and sadness all in her pouring out of her. It couldn't be helped because she was hurt, she was broke, she was shattered, but she still had him. And though he too was hurt, broke and shattered she had a feeling that they could patch each other up and though they would never be the same she was curious to see what was to come of them. Rin just held the only man she had ever loved tightly to her as she cried.

The rain continued to pour outside.

Sesshomaru held his world close to him as she sobbed. Though what had started her tears he didn't know but he didn't care because he needed to hold her. It was as if there was this storm building that neither of them could avoid or hide from and soon it would consume them. He had no doubt that there would be consequences for having taken her but he didn't care. It was his life and he needed Rin in it.

Ever since he had been ten he had needed her in his life, and though he had never been prepared for it he knew now. He had met the love of his miserable life when she was merely a pup and he a surly ten year old. She had just proven it to him when she had stood there holding her 'I love you' for him to read. He loved her, he loved her, and he couldn't say anything about it because he didn't know how to say he loved her. Never in his life had he been required to say he loved another living being and Rin had been no exception. But now…

Now he wasn't certain he could ever tell her because he didn't think he could expose himself to anyone anymore. She was no exception though he knew she would never use what he told her against him like they had. Not that he had told them anything.

Sesshomaru shoved the memories from his mind as he held her tightly to him and kissed her temple. Great Kami did he love this woman.

It's been a little longer than I'd have liked since the last update for this but hey I was on vacation this weekend and given the toss up between the ocean and writing the ocean is going to win every single time. That and George makes great shark bait... *grinning evilly somewhere in this world!* ... So that's my reasons for no updates as of late.

Tonight there's going to be two more updates, what they are I'm not certain yet but there will be updates.

That's all for now folks!

Enjoy Rain for Tears!