When I woke up on Christmas morning, I heard chattering from the family room. I laid still in bed for a couple of minutes, with my eyes closed and listened to it. Before I sat up, and without changing clothes I walked out to the family room.
"Merry Christmas everyone." I said when I came out.
"Merry Christmas Jamie." Came from everyone.
"Jamie." Alice began. "I bought a Christmas outfit for you! I´ll go get it." I nodded. In the blink of an eye, Alice had gotten it, and reached it to me, I nodded, and without looking through the clothes, I walked to the bathroom and started changing clothes.
The clothes Alice had given me was a pair of warm black pantihose, I fired checkered skirt in red, black and golden, a black linen and a red knitted cardigan, When I had changed my clothes, I walked back to my room with the PJ:s, and then walked back to the family room, where there were greetings about how much they thought I looked nice in these clothes.
"…Are we going somewhere?" I looked around, everyone seemed to be wearing coats, scarves and shoes. Carlisle nodded.
"Church. And we actually thought it would be nice if you´d like to join us." I nodded.
"Sure, why not?" I walked to grab my coat and shoes, and then walked upstairs with the others, as I, Carlisle and Esme got in Carlisle´s car. Until this moment, I had gotten quite used to the vampire´s driving, so the speed didn´t really bother me anymore, and just a couple of minutes later, we arrived outside the church. When Jasper and Emmett got out, they were joking and laughing about something, as usual. But they put themselves together before we all walked into the huge church.
"Could you just wait here for a second?" I asked Esme and Carlisle when we got out again. They nodded, and I walked through the rows of gravestones next to the church. The stone I reached was nothing special, I hated it, the stone I mean, because it was ugly, and I´m sure that Jordan would have been a great person if he had lived.
"Merry Christmas Jordan," I pressed my fingers to my lips, and then to the stone, and did the cross- sign over my chest. Suddenly there was someone reaching me a rose from backwards, I looked up and saw Carlisle and Esme standing there, Carlisle had his arm around Esme´s shoulder and Esme was reaching me a red rose, I smiled slightly and took the rose carefully, and laid it down in front of the gravestone. Before standing up, I brushed off the knee I had sat on, and walked back to the car behind Carlisle and Esme.
When we came home, all the others were out in the garden, Jacob had also arrived, to spend his Christmas with Nessie, even though I didn´t have any gloves on, not that I didn´t have any gloves at all. But I bent down, and made a snowball that I threw at Emmett. He turned around and threw one back at me.
At last, there were two teams, on one there was me, Emmett, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie and Alice, and on the other Nessie, Jacob, Bella, Edward and Jasper. I had lent gloves from Carlisle, but I soon realized that they were so big, they made it hard to make snowballs, so I took them off and threw them inside.
After a while, when I threw a snowball that was meant for Nessie, it hit Emmett inside. He pretended to get angry and lifted me over one shoulder before he threw me in a pile of snow, and soon I laid there, like a turtle on my back, with arms and legs up in the air, covered in snow. Esme helped me up. I tried to brush off the worst, which didn´t succeed very well, and Carlisle decided that the fight was over.
"Go change those clothes." Carlisle told me when we came in. "We don´t want you to catch a cold do we?"
"No, guess not." I said, and hung my jacket in the hallway, and walked back to my room, where I changed into my usual sweatpants and hoodie. When I came back into the family room, Carlisle sat in front of the fireplace trying to light a fire. I sat down next to him, held out my hands towards the fire. I sighed and crouched, I thought back on the Christmas I had known that I would have a brother. The last real Christmas I had celebrated.
Flashback
We sat around the Christmas tree, I, mum and dad. I had loads of presents, and I decided to unwrap a big one first.
"My very own guitar, thanks mum, thanks dad."
"Now open this." Dad reached me an envelope, damn, he always gave me cards so I had to read, I wasn´t very good at reading, and as usual, when I read the card, there was a pause between every word.
"Dear Jamie," I read out loud. "We are now happy to be able to tell you, that in this summer, you´re gonna have a…. I´M GONNA HAVE A BROTHER?" I shouted the last sentence. I held the card to my chest and jumped and danced around the living room.
"I´m gonna have a brother." I sang. "I´m gonna have a brother, I´m gonna have a brother." Dad stood up.
"Come on J.J." he held me and we started dancing around the room together. '
J.J. That was what he always had used to call me.
End of flashback
"Jamie…. Come on Jame, earth to Jamie Dylan." Emmett´s voice woke me up from my memories.
"What are you thinking about?" Esme asked. "You seemed to be so far away."
"Nothing." I laid down my chin on my knees, and hugged my legs.
The day passed by without any bigger events, as usual, when I ate my Christmas dinner, Emmett complained about the smell.
I was nervous about opening presents, I was afraid that the others wouldn´t like the presents I had gotten for them.
At about seven in the evening, we all gathered around tree in the family room, Carlisle was the one handing out all the presents, he squatted down next to the tree and started handing out.
"From Jamie to Emmett." Was the first one, Emmett took it, next one was from Esme to me, and I got it, when all the presents were handed out, it was time to start opening presents, I opened the one from Carlisle at first.
"Oh god." I said, I unwrapped a laptop. "Thanks Carlisle, thanks a lot."
"You´re welcome."
"Oh Jamie." Came from Esme. "Did you write this?" she had recently unwrapped her present from me.
"No, I just found it on the internet, I was trying to find a shorter one… but I kind of liked that poem."
"Can you read it out loud ma´" Emmett asked, Esme nodded, and started reading.
People say that sometimes
we need to stop for a moment
to just stand still
and look around
See what we lived through
What we have right now
and maybe
if we look closely
we can maybe see
just a small glimpse
of what´s going to come
Though I just keep on running
running as fast as I can
hoping to find am end
of this long tunnel
I don´t wanna look back
because everything is black behind me
Don´t wanna look back
because then
I´ll have to go through it all again
all the memories
and the memories are too painful
I don´t wanna look where I am right now
because I don´t wanna face the fact
that I´m here all alone
I don´t wanna see ahead of me
because if I see the endless darkness
I know I´ll lose all of my hope
But now
things are starting to change
and I can finally spot an end
of this tunnel
But hold on a second!
There´s someone standing in the tunnel now
She takes my hand
"Come with me my child" she says
"We´re gonna take a walk, you and I"
As she takes me back
to the most painful memories
I can at first not understand why
Then I understand
that she helps me through them
and carries me when I can´t walk on my own
So I can leave those memories behind
So I can stop running
and look around
and head forward
The woman holds my hand
and helps me through
what´s happened
and what´s to come
She´s an angel
and she looks like you
Esme looked up, and Emmett was the first one to speak up.
"Really beautiful… please can we continue with the presents now."
"Hold on a second Emmett." Carlisle said. "We should give everyone a chance to say what they thought about that."
"It was beautiful." Came from about four different directions, I nodded.
"It really was." Carlisle stroke his chin, as if he thought about something. I nodded again, and then (finally) we got back to opening presents. Except the laptop I got a cell- phone from Emmett, glee on DVD from Bella and Nessie, the movies "the ice princess." "blades of glory" "the cutting edge" and all the "step up- movies" from Edward and Jasper, a warm winter- coat and shoes from Esme.
"Jamie." Alice began after a while, I looked up, was on my way to pull a loaded bus- card from Carlisle out of an envelope.
"Mhm." I answered her.
"I and Rosalie can´t give you your present, but we can tell you about it." I nodded, and put the bus- card in my purse.
"So, well, we would like to take you shopping someday, for clothes you need." I nodded. Alice continued. "We´re gonna do it at least once now, and at least once in the spring to shop for summer- clothes." I nodded again.
"Thanks, I´d love that."
When all the presents were unwrapped, the others went outside to have another snowball- fight. It was too dark for me to see, so I sat down in front of the fireplace, and crouched with a cup of hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows.
"So…" I heard behind me, I turned my head to see Carlisle standing in the doorframe. "Had a good Christmas?"
"Best Christmas ever," I said in a low voice. Carlisle came over to the fireplace and sat down next to me. "But I think I´m gonna have a hard time getting angry at ya´ll after this." Carlisle chuckled.
"Jamie, I can tell you one thing. If you´d ever get mad, you can scream at us, throw things or push us how much you´d like. It´s actually better that you do it to us, than if you do it to anyone else, because us you can´t hurt." I nodded, and crouched a little more and put the now empty cup on the floor next to me.
"Carlisle."
"Yes."
"Even though it may not always seem like it… I really appreciate what you´re doing." Carlisle smiled.
"I know."
"Just… please don´t tell the others that… you know why." Carlisle nodded. "I mean, could you imagine Emmett if he knew I was happy about what he did."
"Yeah I know." Carlisle said, you just wait here, I´ll go get something. He disappeared, and in the blink of an eye, he was back again with a big, wrapped parcel that he reached to me.
"Did you really think that we´d ignore your wish about skates when you wrote it eleven times on that list." I chuckled.
"First I didn´t think so, but tonight until now I actually thought you would. I lifted the lock of the carton, and revealed another big box, I opened it and found a pair of skates, the most beautiful skates I had ever seen. They were white, but with a silver, wide stripe on the sides, where a white pattern with flowers were embodied. I smiled.
"Thank you… oh thank you so much." Carlisle smiled.
"You´re very welcome my child."
So, that poem, it´s nothing I just found on the internet, I wrote it myself... please tell me what you think of it