Little Angel ch.14

Well, after that lovely little excerpt from her mother, do you think Hikari would honestly care? Or do you think she's more focused right now on her and Amane's questionable relationship?

I wonder if my mom knows what happened...
Hikari was resting her head on Amane as they rode through the trails on the park. Star Bright kept a brisk pace, seemingly happy to be out again and somewhat oblivious to what's going on in his rider's life.
"Hey Amane?"
The rider turned her head, thoroughly surprised to hear Hikari. "Yes dear?"
"Um... Can I ask you something?"
"Anything, Hikari."
"If someone came looking for me... What will we do?"
Amane paused before she answered. "What would you wanna do?"
"Well, it would depend on who it was..."
"Are you afraid Jack's gunna come loo-"
"No! I-Not-"
Amane looked down and got out quickly, "Hikari'msosorryididn'tmeantofreakyououtijustthoug htyouwerescaredand... And... I..." She sighed, taking a deep breath, then got out slower, "Look... I want... To keep you as safe and happy as- I know you're not technically living with me- and I can't really support two people and a horse very well, but I'll be damned if I don't try-"
She was jumping from point to point, but Hikari got what she was trying to say.
"Amane, if it's Jack, I wanna run. If it's my mom, I wanna run. If it's the authorities... I'd wanna run."
Amane jerked, and in turn so did Star Bright. "Hikari, but..."
"I don't want to get our story twisted like your some kidnapper... What if Jack tells them that we got in a fight and him and you... Then you took me... Just, what if? I can't get you in trouble. That's why I won't go to a hospital."
She grew quickly silent and Amane realized that even as gentle as her beautiful Stallion's stride might be, it was probably hurting her.
"Hikari, did you wanna stop for today?"
"Why would I want that? I love riding with you," she replied very confused.
"Your chest, your stomach, I thought it might be a bit sensitive still."
Hikari only barely smiled, something now unnoticeable to anyone, but she did hug Amane a little tighter. "No Amane, this is the best thing for me right now."
Amane looked forward again, a smile playing at her lips and a blush in her cheeks. They continued on through the trails of their forestry surroundings, seeing it together, and finally uninterrupted. Star Bright would gallop a little faster occasionally, so eager to race off like he'd been trained for. Amane appreciated his juvenile abundance of energy, but she would tug the reigns regardless if he got to hot on his heels.

It was about dusk when the pair of them rested soundly against the trunk of a grand oak. Star Bright stood diligently, elegantly, off on the other side. Even tied to the tree, he looked unstoppable. Amane caught a glance of him throwing his head back and letting his mane flow in the wind.
Hehe, you're such a show off, she thought. Shoulda named you Fabio.
Hikari was now more at ease being close to Amane, even though they only barely touched. They sat shoulder to shoulder, and eventually, as of course fate would have it, found their fingers warmly intertwined. Amane's heart felt like it had just started again without realizing it stopped; Hikari thought hers dropped dead.
I wish I had the courage to hold her. Without being on Star Bright, of course... Her strong arms... They've never hurt me, so why am I rejecting them? She's been nothing but soft to me...
Hikari pondered on it for what seemed like hours. She craved to snuggle into her girlfriend as they had last night, but something about it now was just... Too hard.
Is it because she loves me, and I can't love her back? Am I that rigid?
"Hikari, what is it?" Amane asked suddenly, worry high in her voice. Hikari hadn't realized she'd been crying.
"Nothing Amane, just thinking. Honest," she said, ending with a smile. Her heart hurt to let the thoughts unravel themselves. What if all of this was happening and at the end of the day, it just wasn't meant to be?
New tears sprung loose from the blonde's huge blue eyes, and this time she felt them weigh heavily onto her. More emotionally than anything.
"Hikari! Honey, what-"
"Amane, I don't want to lose this! I'm sorry I'm so distant, I just- I ju-ju..." Her voice was breaking like pencils against concrete slabs. "I'm not- that's not how I feel! I'm being so distant and- oh god, it's just all my fucking fault, and I'm so sorry!"
Amane's jaw hung, but mostly from her word choice. Did her Hikari really just...?
"Hikari, this, to me, all of it is worth anything if I can keep you safe and happy. Never Ever think I'll wanna give you up. I promise. Hikari, you're hurting, you're confused, and you wanna run from the police for I guess good reasons. That's no reason to think you're being distant. You're healing... I'll be the best nurse I can."
Hikari squeezed her hand. It was the only mildly intimate thing she could do, but Amane understood perfectly. She wants to get better. She'll let me help her.
Amane turned her head further to get a better view of Hikari's slowly brightening face. She still looked hurt and confused. But the endless sadness had almost seemed to completely disappear. It almost seemed that, to Amane, she was struggling to decide if she would smile or not. How badly the bluenette craved to kiss those slightly quivering pink lips of hers, but she knew it would reverse anything Hikari had worked up. If Hikari was going to push past this, her lover couldn't push her any quicker than she was willing. She respected her and understood that this pain would take A LOT of healing.
I wonder if she knows how much I care about her... How grateful I am for all of this, the blonde wondered. I wonder if I'll ever be able to show her.
Hikari found herself leaning more and more into Amane, only really noticing she was practically in her lap and her Rider had put her arm around her. She blushed and smiled softly, but fell asleep soon after, quite tired by her day.
The last thing she remembered hearing was Amane gentle chuckling voice. "I saw that."

Back at Amane's apartment, Hikari sat next to her girlfriend, munching on take out rice and chicken. She was the happiest she'd been all day, but sadness still pressed its ugly thumb into her chest. Amane had taken notice quickly and asked her if she could do anything.
"Amane... Unless you could pack time into a pill... I don't think there's much you can do. I just... Just practically lost my family. As horrid it could be sometimes, it was the best I had for a home and parents. Don't get me wrong, I love being with you! You're the shoulder I need to curl up to right now; no one else could possibly do what you do. You're... You're like a Prince. You saved me, you watch me and... You... Care about me. It's more than any girl could have dreamed to have just watching you from the crowd Amane. You're a dream come true, but don't feel bad that I'm still stuck in a nightmare."
Hikari felt bittersweet about saying the truth. Every word past her lips she meant to the fullest, but they were hard as rocks and tasted like toxic. Every word she said she had seen reflect in Amane's eyes one way or another, but she noticed that those big milky brown eyes never left her. "Amane... Truly, I'm so grateful to have you... Where would my life be going right now otherwise?"
For the first time, Amane blinked, taken aback. Well... Where would I be?
Instead, what came out was;
"It's more than just caring about you Hikari, I-"
Shit!
They looked at each other, very nervously.

Don't say it you idiot!

Do you still mean it?

What if I scare her?

What if we've been completely wrong about our feelings?

"It's the human thing to do, to look after someone who's hurt."

There. I didn't say it.

You didn't say it?...

Hikari had no idea how she felt about that, and THAT in itself was incredibly weird. Just this morning she had believed love was a myth. Now she found herself almost curious to her Amane say it again.
But... It wasn't like Hikari could say it back. She wasn't honestly sure what loving someone felt like. She never wanted to feel the loss of not having Amane, but she was sure love was more than need of a tender embrace and sweet words. But, according to all those cheesy movies and dorky couples she'd seen at school... love was supposed the best feeling in the world. And... If that was really... wasn't as much as she knew and she felt for Amane, then, love? Wasn't THAT the best she'd known?
Of course it was.
But she wouldn't call it as she saw it if she was right. Once upon a time she loved her mother, trusted her and let her in; Yaya too. Her mother brought Jack into her life, and Yaya almost destroyed their relationship for her uncontrollable hormones and emotions. She never did put faith in her mother again, and with Yaya she trusts as much as is safe. So, with those two wonderful relationships in hand... How would she know? Hikari thought back to Yaya, and how she acted and what she confessed to her younger blonde friend during long nights of twisted agony and rejection. How she praised the girl constantly and brought smiles to her face as often as she could. Amane did all of it, though admittedly much better. Hikari was just... So much more open to Amane than Yaya's advances. It wasn't a crush she had in those bleachers, but it wasn't obsession.
Then there was the day they met face to face, and her heart almost stopped. She felt herself warm at the close memory, and snapped back to the present when Amane put her fingers to the soft pink cheek.
"Hikari?..."
"Amane... I um... No," she brought back their original conversation, "The way you are is so much different from everyone else, and that's what's so beautiful about you."

Mouth, what are you doing?!

"You're humanity, you're heart, it makes me melt inside,"

Heart- shut up!

"I'd be hopeless and crying in my room right now if I didn't have you."

Brain, tell me to shut up!

"Around you, part of me woke up... I thought that what he did killed it. But really, he just scared it away..."

What. The. Hell. Are. You. Doing?!

"I care about you too Amane..."

Good girl... Now be quie-

"Justlikeyoucareaboutme."

Oh you idiot!

Hikari had her face down and eyes clamped shut as she last spoke, too nervous and scared to look at Amane. Nonetheless, her rider's strong hand never left her cheek. In fact, she seemed to pull the little blonde back up to meet her equally nervous gaze. "Hikari, I love you. You don't have to force yourself to say it back if you don't mean it-"
"Amane, I do though. I WANT you to hold me. I WANT you to kiss me. I WANT to be by your side every waking moment of mine because I'm happier that way. Because, if this is what I want, and this is what makes love love, then yes Amane, I do love you too."

Hikari blushed at her bold words, but Amane still never moved her eyes from the blonde's. They looked to each others gazes, the mighty ocean orbs filling and absorbing the velvet chocolate spheres. A tender touch to Amane's cheek had shot a spark between them and instantly their lips met in frenzy as if they hadn't touched in years. It grew so wild and passionate, so strong and intense, and they wanted more and more. Their bodies heated up like instinct, and flames soared through them.
Someone had lit their hormones on fire, and love was going to do its damned hardest to get its way.
In the midst of their hot and heavy kissing, Amane's lips somehow found themselves slipping to Hikari sweet spot down on her neck. The moment her lips connected to the sensitive skin, she mewled and moaned uncensored, growing a little more louder with each passing bite. Amane sucked her skin feverishly, feeling and hearing Hikari's throat vibrate and her body shake each time. The younger girl had her fingers snaked and weaved through the bluenette's hair, her cracking voice and tugging hands begging for more.
But... As much as the lovers wanted to explore the depths of "possibilities," Amane was still hyper aware of her young Hikari's fragile state.
"H-Hikari... We should... We should wait a bit before..."
"Going on?"
"Yeah," the rider blushed at what they were saying, mixed with what they were doing, and she realized how much she DIDN'T wanna stop. She was curious... Very curious. But she knew Hikari wouldn't be able to handle it and that was far more important. "If you want, Hikari, I'll carry you to bed?"
"Will you stay with me?"
"If you want me to, then of course, I shall."
She smiled and put her meek little arms around Amane's neck. The rider picked her up with ease and carried her to her bedroom. Amane thought back to Hikari calling her a prince, and blushed. Once inside and on the bed, they snuggled together under the sheets, facing one another. Amane's arms wrapped securely around Hikari, and she smiled as she watched her little lover drift off silently into sleep.
Two birds chirped a soft melody outside as Amane herself followed, whispering;
"Sweet dreams deary."