Chapter 101

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Sansa spun around, taking in the snow covered ground and the tall trees that went on for miles, their branches heavy with snow. She realized that she was home. In Winterfell's godswood. She felt a sense of calm as she walked past the white-barked trees, and almost wept at the snow-covered beauty surrounding her. As Sansa walked toward the Heart Tree, movement caught her eye and she stopped, unable to believe what she was seeing.

"Father?"

Ned Stark was sitting beside the Heart Tree, cleaning Ice, his greatsword, in the spring, as he had more times than Sansa could count. She knew then that she must be dreaming, but he looked up and met her eyes. And Sansa felt her own fill with tears, not caring if he were real or not.

He was suddenly before her, taking her in his arms. Sansa began to sob as she felt her father's arms around her, holding her as tightly as he had when she was a little girl. She had almost forgotten how much she missed him. It had been so long – so many years - since she'd watched him executed. And she'd never been permitted to truly mourn the loss of her father.

"Will you forgive me, Father?" she asked through her tears.

She closed her eyes as he began to stroke her hair. "What is there to forgive, my love?"

Sansa gasped to catch her breath. "It's my fault. I told…I was stupid and I didn't want to leave the Red Keep. I told…I told the Queen that we were returning to Winterfell." She expected her father to shove her away and turn his back on her. But he only held her tighter, murmuring words of comfort.

"You have nothing to be sorry for…you've done nothing wrong. I love you, Sansa. I've always loved you. My precious girl." Sansa felt a sense of relief as she returned her father's words of love, and closed her eyes.

"Traitor whore."

Sansa pulled back abruptly at the sound of Joffrey's voice, and saw that her father had disappeared and the boy who ordered him murdered was in his place. Joffrey had taken him from her again. She tried to pull away from him, but he held her arms tightly.

"Where do you think you're going, traitor?" he snarled.

"Let go of me." Sansa fought to get away from him, to no avail. "You're dead!"

"You'll never be free of me, Sansa. You'll always belong to me."

Sansa shook her head. "Jaime won't let you hurt me."

"Jaime can't save you now," a cruel voice purred behind her.

Joffrey laughed and shoved Sansa away, sending her crashing into the hard stone walls of the throne room in King's Landing. Sansa looked up from her spot on the ground in horror, as Cersei walked towards her like a lion stalking its prey.

"He may have protected you before…but Jaime isn't here now. It's only the three of us. This is where you always dreamed of being – here in the Red Keep as queen. You wanted this more than your own family. You betrayed them for this," she said, gesturing to the throne. Sansa shook her head and began to cry.

"Sansa," she heard Jaime whisper. "Come back to me, sweet girl."

Sansa turned her head, looking for Jaime. She could hear him, but she couldn't see him. She scrambled to her feet, and began to run towards the sound of his voice. Firm hands grasped both of her arms, holding her back. "Let me go."

"You belong to me," Joffrey snarled. "You'll not go anywhere, unless I allow it. And I want you here with me."

"No! Jaime! Please, let me go." She tried to break free of them, but found she was no match for Joffrey and Cersei's strength.

"He's better without you," Cersei whispered. "You've given him his heirs…what more does he need you for?"

Sansa screamed as they pulled her away, dragging her back towards the Iron Throne. "No, please…Jaime!" Sansa heard a loud snarl and a mass of silver grey fur flew through the air, separating her from Joffrey and Cersei. She fell to the ground from the force of it. As she got her bearings, Sansa felt something bump her and turned her head.

"Lady," she said, her voice breaking. She looked into the wolf's eyes and began to cry. Lady whined and moved closer to her, licking her cheek. Sansa wrapped her arms around the wolf's neck and cried into her fur. The moment Lady died was the moment Sansa's dreams had come crashing down. The moment everything had gone wrong. Now, as she sat there, burying her face in the wolf's soft fur, Sansa believed all would be well.

"Come, my dear. He's been waiting for you."

Sansa looked up and shrank back for a moment. The woman standing before her looked so much like Cersei. But she didn't have Cersei's cruelty. Her face was kind. Her smile gentle. Her eyes were Jaime's. Sansa looked at her neck, and saw that the woman before her was wearing the necklace Jaime gave the morning after their wedding. His mother's necklace. "Lady Joanna?" Sansa asked weakly.

She nodded, and held her hand out. Sansa hesitated, digging her fingers into Lady's fur. "My son needs you, Sansa. If you don't return to him…he'll be lost forever. Allow me to take you to him." Sansa silently accepted Lady Joanna's help rising to her feet, though she held tight to Lady's fur with the other. Lady trotted along beside her and Lady Joanna as they walked away from the Iron Throne and towards the sound of Jaime's voice, as he continued calling to her.

The next thing she knew, they were in her bedchamber in Lys. Only a few candles were lit in the chamber and a few torches outside. Otherwise, the bedchamber was dark. She wondered if Jaime was asleep, but then she saw him sitting beside the bed. There was a figure in the bed and Sansa gasped in surprise at the sight. As she moved closer, Sansa saw herself lying in the bed. She couldn't understand how she could be there and where she was standing at the same time.

"Jaime? Jaime?" He didn't seem to hear her. He simply held the hand of the Sansa in the bed and stared off into space. Julianna was standing between Jaime and the bed.

"I pray for Mama," she said, looking up at Jaime. He nodded and Sansa watched as her daughter knelt beside the bed and prayed, as Sansa had taught her. Jaime looked away, unable to watch their small daughter pray to the Mother for Sansa's life.

"My poor sweet Jaime," Lady Joanna said, walking closer to Jaime and gently stroking his hair. He didn't seem to hear his mother either. Nor did he react to her touch. He looked exhausted and as if the weight of the world were on his shoulders.

"Why can't he hear us?"

"My Jaime was such a sweet little boy. So loving and innocent. He was never happier than when I held him in my arms. I'm sorry I left you, my love. I'm sorry you were left with only your sister to comfort you. Tywin…I'm sorry my death changed him so." Sansa watched as Lady Joanna bent and kissed Jaime's cheek.

He turned back to Julianna then. Their little girl had tears in her eyes as she climbed onto his lap and hugged him tightly, resting her head on his shoulder. "She knows you love her," Sansa heard Jaime whisper. Julianna nodded, and buried her face against his neck.

"Am I dead?" Sansa asked, looking at Jaime and Julianna and feeling the urge to cry. She didn't want to leave him or their children. She loved them so much and knew that they needed her.

Lady Joanna didn't answer her. Instead, she knelt down and peered at Julianna. "She's beautiful, darling boy." Sansa watched as Lady Joanna reluctantly moved from Jaime's side and fixed her gaze on Sansa. "My son loves you more than anything, Sansa. If you leave him…he'll do as his father did…he'll allow his grief and loss to consume him."

She walked closer to Jaime, and knew that his mother was right. Jaime would never be the same if she died. Sansa watched as Lady Joanna walked away, Lady following. The wolf stopped, and turned back once to look at her mistress. Sansa nodded for Lady to go and turned back to her family.

Sansa's eyes flew open and her entire body jerked with the shock of awakening. She ached all over with pain. With difficulty, she turned her head and saw that Jaime was asleep in a chair beside her bed. Sansa wondered how long she'd been unconscious. Even in his sleep, Jaime held her hand and had his other arm wrapped tightly around Julianna who was fast asleep in his arms.

She moved her free hand to her belly and felt that it was mostly flat. The babes. She remembered being in labor for hours and hours until finally a baby boy was born, that looked just like Jaime. And she remembered having a second babe. She thought it was another boy, though she couldn't remember what that babe looked like. Sansa lay still, and listened and the silence in the room frightened her. She didn't hear crying or infants cooing happily. Where are the babes? Panic began to set in as she looked around the room as best she could from her current position. She couldn't see them anywhere. Not any sign of them.

"Where…where are my sons?" Sansa quickly sat up and cried out in pain as she did so. "What happened to them?"

She felt the bed dip down beside her and Jaime's arms around her, holding her still. She tried to struggle against him – to look for her babies – but Jaime held her firmly, but gently. "Stay still, Sansa. Shh…shh…Please, sweet girl, you lost so much blood…don't over-exert yourself. Don't panic. It's all right." He leaned in and kissed her cheek. "I thought…I thought I had lost you," he finished in a whisper. Sansa forgot everything but Jaime for a moment when she looked at him and saw his eyes welling with tears. He gently gathered her in his arms, holding her like his most prized possession. "I couldn't have gone on without you."

Sansa held him, ignoring the pain she felt as she reached up to thread her fingers through his hair. She quietly whispered words of reassurance in his ear, though she continued scanning the room over his shoulder, wondering where the twins were.

"Mama!" Julianna cried joyously from her place in Jaime's chair, where he had unceremoniously plopped her down when Sansa awoke. "Mama awake."

Sansa smiled as Julianna lowered herself from the chair and clumsily climbed up onto the bed. Jaime sensed his daughter's presence, and swept Julianna onto his lap before she could climb on top of her mother. Sansa leaned forward, hugging her daughter and kissing the top of her head. "I love you, sweetling."

"Love you, mama."

"Did you take care of your father, while I was sick?"

She smiled and nodded. "Took care of dada." Julianna scooted off Jaime's lap and settled down beside Sansa, resting her head little head against her.

"You look terrible, Jaime," Sansa said quietly, running her fingers over the stubble on his face and taking in the dark circles under his eyes. "How long has it been?" she asked quietly.

"Three days," Jaime whispered. Sansa was horrified to know that she had been lying near death for so long. No wonder he expected me to die.

"You've been sitting here the whole time haven't you?" He nodded quickly, smoothing back her hair. He doesn't trust himself to speak. My death would have broken him. He never would have been the same. "Where…where are the twins? I remember…I remember having twins." She looked around the room again to be certain. "They aren't here. Are they…?" she was terrified to hear that their sweet babes had died.

"They're perfectly healthy, Sansa. Don't fret. I'll have them brought in to you. I know you must wish to hold them."

Sansa nodded as Jaime went to the door. She closed her eyes in pain as she reached for a pillow to prop herself up. "I help," Julianna said and began piling pillows behind Sansa. When she was finished, Julianna hugged her fiercely. "I's scared, Mama."

"I was scared, too," she whispered, kissing the top of her head. "Did you see the babies?" Julianna shook her head. "No?" Why hasn't she seen them? It's been three days since they were born. Jaime should have let her meet her little brothers. He should have had our babes here with us, and held them and comforted them. Sansa wondered what had happened. She didn't understand why Jaime had not wanted their newborns with them. He loved Julianna from the moment she was born.

Jaime quickly returned to her side, adjusting the pillows behind her. Before she could ask why the babes had been hidden away, the door opened and Tommen walked carefully and proudly in, an infant in his arms. Pia followed him, carrying another.

Sansa felt a flutter of excitement that she would finally be able to meet her sons. Tommen stood by the side of the bed, a huge smile on his face as he held the babe out to her and placed him gently in her arms. He's so small. Sansa cradled the babe against her, staring into his big blue eyes. This is the one I didn't get to hold. The one with bright Tully blue eyes.

"I'm sorry it took so long for us to meet," she whispered to her babe. "We're all together now."

"I'm glad you're better, Sansa," Tommen said, sitting opposite her on the bed. "I missed you."

"Thank you for looking after them," she said, rocking the babe in her arms. She saw Pia hesitating by the bed, still holding the other twin. She looked exhausted. She must have been taking care of the babes for the past few days. "Pia, you can give him to Jaime, and then get some rest. We'll be all right on our own." Sansa saw Jaime and Pia exchange a look as Pia hesitantly handed the babe to Jaime. Did they fight?

"I'm so very glad you're well, my lady," Pia said tearfully before leaving them alone.

Sansa leaned over and gently ran her fingers over the wisps of blonde hair on the head of the babe Jaime held. She remembered seeing the bright green eyes of the first born twin. They're so small. Much smaller than Julianna was. The babe in her own arms began to fuss, nuzzling against her. Her breasts felt painfully full of milk, and she suspected the babes had not been allowed to nurse while she was unconscious. Sansa unlaced the front of her gown and watched as her sweet babe began to suckle hungrily.

"I want to see," Julianna said, leaning over Sansa's arm to see the infant.

"Who has been taking care of them?" Sansa asked quietly, as the happy sounds of the nursing babe filled the room.

Jaime didn't answer right away, and Sansa looked over at him expectantly. "Pia found a nursemaid. Though, the healer gave you some elixirs so that you could nurse them if you…" He didn't finish, but she knew what he meant. If I lived. She nodded, not wishing to argue with him now. Not when he had been so obviously terrified the past few days that he would lose her. And not in front of Tommen and Julianna. She looked down at her babe, running her fingers over his little body and feeling the strength of his grip as he grasped her finger. He's perfect. He's a perfect combination of me and Jaime. Just like Julianna.

Sansa felt Julianna pulling at her sleeve. "I hold. Please, Mama? I hold."

"You can hold one of them. But you have to be careful," Sansa said gently.

"Come here, Julianna," Jaime said, patting his lap. She climbed into his lap, and Jaime rested the babe in her arms, supporting his little head as she smiled down at the babe. "Be gentle. Like with the kittens."

She nodded solemnly and leaned down to kiss the babe's head. "Love you, baby." Sansa meet Jaime's eyes and saw that he was similarly moved by the sight of their children meeting.

"That's your brother," Sansa told her.

Julianna looked down at the babe, considering Sansa's words. "Brother?" Julianna gently touched the head of the babe in Sansa's arms. "Brother?" she asked.

"Yes. They're both your brothers."

Julianna was quiet for a long time, considering the tiny babes, before looking up at Sansa. "Tommen brother?" Sansa felt her stomach drop and quickly looked at Jaime, not certain how she was to answer.

"Yes, Julianna," Jaime said hesitantly. "Tommen is your brother."

…

Next chapter: We'll see where this goes and pick back up with Tyrion & Company at the Wall.

As always, thanks for reading and reviewing!