A/n: No copyright infringement for all your support. Only a few more chapters left.
The walls of the bathroom were so pale and plain. Everything was brand new; porcelain tiles, covered by beige memory foam bath mats. The toilet was Japanese, named Toshi. It had an automatic temperature adjusting seat and upon command it would clean one's rear. The water changed color. When on standby it would shoot like a fountain, and it was toilet bowl water. How amazing. How creative. How absurd. That's how much money her doctor husband made. So much he could afford absurd Japanese toilets and here she was on hands and knees throwing up into it.
Morning sickness.
She wasn't very far along, but she was feeling the effects of it very much so. She played it off to the best of her ability for she didn't want him to know. Not only because she was not at all ready to be a mother, but also because she was not sure who the father was.
How did this happen to her? How did she end up in 'baby daddy drama' of this sort? She made sure to marry out of the hood to avoid this. She made sure to marry out of poverty. With all her precise planning she aspired to perfection. Pill after pill after pill, each day of the week. She was always careful. Wasn't she?
Certainly not that time. The holidays distracted her. She didn't get a refill. She wasn't careful. Not that time.
Her darling husband kissed her pleasantly on the cheek before driving off and leaving her with old friends. He was tired but did not want to end her fun early so agreed to go home without her. Tanisha appreciated him for always being understanding. Other men wouldn't be so agreeable, but she managed to land herself the most agreeable one. Lucky her.
"Tanisha," Lamar touched her shoulder and watched as his friend's 'Mr.' drove off. "he's really cool with this?"
"Yeah. He often tells me that we shouldn't drop our friends because we're newlyweds. He actually encourages me to keep connections with you guys." Tanisha smiled very pleasantly to Lamar who smiled back.
"I never really spoke to the dude until tonight. He's chill. Very."
"Yeah."
Franklin walked over to Lamar handing him a beer. "Hey, you coming back in?" He asked Lamar who gladly took the beer. He smiled and released Tanisha's shoulder. He was grinning ear to ear.
"Yeah, we need to get back in there and grind up with some hunnies." Lamar pat Franklin on the back and as the two walked Franklin glanced over his shoulder and saw Tanisha wave, almost too innocently.
"Yeah." He said.
The night went by quickly. The afterhours of the New Year's party had become too raunchy for Franklin. Around three am he was outside again, holding the wall. He was a bit too drunk to stand on his on his own and he rubbed his forehead hoping he would not have a hangover in the morning. Tanisha had followed him outside and when she saw him digging in his pocket for his keys, she grabbed his hands, intertwining his fingers with hers.
"We – well hello, Ms. Doctor Wife." He said.
"You're not planning on driving home, are you?" She asked.
"No. Nah, I was – I was gonna sleep in the backseat." He told her. She giggled a bit, not used to hearing Franklin slur his speech. Even then, too drunk to talk straight, he was handsome to her. He had signs of new growth, for he hadn't shaved for a while. His eyes always had that speckle of stardust, giving it a resilient russet glow. He wore a good button down shirt, very high end, for it was a name brand her husband wore when he was working. In too many ways he appealed to her, and in too many ways she found it hard to resist him.
"Should I take you home?" She asked.
"You know I live really far out." He responded. He pulled his hand away from hers and tried again to hold his balance against the wall. Tanisha sighed and shook her head.
"To your aunt's then?"
"Nah. Tanisha, what you want? Huh? Where's your doctor man?" He asked. Clearly he had too much to drink. Franklin was not normally so curt. Nothing she couldn't handle though.
"He went home. I was about to go to, but you're not in any state to go home safely. I'll call you a cab." She went into her clutch and pulled out her cellphone. After confirming it, she waited with Franklin until it arrived. Carefully placing him in the backseat she told the driver where he lived and closed the door, securing him in. "Can you make sure he gets in safely?" She asked the driver.
The guy glared at her, it would seem he was fed up from having to carry an intoxicated passenger. "What am I, his mother? What if he throws up back there?!" The man yelled.
"You've got a nasty disposition!" She snapped.
"It's cool Tanisha, I got it." Franklin said as he sank into the seat. "I can get in myself."
Tanisha did not feel too good about Franklin's state of mind, or the driver's attitude, so she hopped in next to him. She knew very well it would only make her night much longer, and her dear husband was home sleeping without his blushing bride, but she couldn't leave him there. Not when he was that drunk. Even though they weren't together anymore, she did still care about him. But maybe she cared too much.
She had to hold him up as they walked to the front door of his luxury home. It was a struggle for he was always bigger than her. Franklin was so masculine in build and design. He was not as tall as Lamar, but still tall. He was far more built than any man she knew, definitive muscles even her doctor husband didn't have. As she laid him on his bed, she scolded herself mentally for comparing them.
"You're more trouble than you're worth Franklin." She said simply. "Always more trouble than you're worth." Franklin turned over and held one of his pillows close to his chest. She was certain he was very much asleep. Too far away in 'lala' land to even hear her voice. She looked at him carefully, her eyes taking in every fiber of his being.
As she inhaled deeply, her nostrils filled with the smell of alcohol and his natural male musk. Her ears listened in carefully to the patterns of his breathing. Her eyes studied and observed all details, even the length of his eye lashes. How she wanted to touch him. So badly to taste him. Fresh in her mind was the kiss they shared when he surprised her with a visit that one time…
'Oh Franklin,' she thought to herself. 'how can I stop loving you?' Tanisha touched the side of his face, feeling the warmth of his skin. She carefully crawled over his body and laid beside him, staring at his sleeping form. She didn't want to love him anymore. She loved her husband, but she loved Franklin too. Possibly more than her husband. More than she loved her husband, more than she loved Franklin, more than she loved them combined, she wanted not to love Franklin.
He was not a bad guy. He wasn't. It's just that he wasn't grown up enough. The crime, the lifestyle, the path he had chosen…they weren't ones she could be part of. She wanted a home, a family, to be a wife. Not to be the woman of a criminal. To be the side job. To be less important than his ambitions. She wanted to grow. Not just her, by herself, but to grow with someone. Someone who loved her.
"I just wanted to be someone's wife." She said. Tears ran down her face, sliding off the end of her nose. There it was. She admitted to herself, finally. She wanted to be someone's wife. The same way she judged Franklin for his ambitions, she failed to realize hers were no different. "I just wanted to be someone's wife…" She covered her mouth with her hand trying to stifle her sobs. She was so close to him. So close. How could this have happened?
She wanted to be someone's wife. She knew she couldn't be his wife, so she found someone else. But she never not wanted to be his wife. She never stopped wanting to be with him. She never stopped loving him.
Now she was in an odd place. Finally, married and happy, but unhappy because it wasn't to the person she really wanted. Or was it? What was it? What was her problem?
Her husband wasn't some thug. He wasn't a murderer and when they had children, their father would be someone they could be proud of. A doctor. Someone who saved lives, not took them.
A doctor.
A doctor.
She was a doctor's wife.
The doctor's wife.
Why was she not content with that?
"Franklin…" she whispered. She carefully touched the button of his designer shirt and called out to him again in a whisper. "Franklin." She was taken aback when his hand grabbed her by the wrist and he dragged her body close to his. There they were. They lay on their sides, faces, bodies close. Eyes close. Lips close.
"Want do you want?" He asked. Though it was apparent he wasn't at his best, it was just as apparent that he was speaking from the heart.
"I wanted to be someone's wife. I – I wanted to be your wife." Tears flowed like rivers from her eyes and Franklin found himself fighting his own tears. By respecting her, and giving her what she wanted he contributed to her confusion, to her unhappiness. Women were such confusing creatures.
With eyes that were as widely opened as an innocent child Tanisha stared and felt as if time moved in slow motion when Franklin pulled her into a deep kiss. His lips crushed hers and she felt her entire world shatter, then reform before her very eyes.
In the night, the palm of their hands touched, their fingers interlocked, and was held up above their bodies. The moon which hid behind the clouds momentarily revealed itself, glowing and giving light to their vivid love making in Franklin's bed.
Tanisha turned her face away often, feeling her breath escape her from the overwhelming force that was Franklin's lips and kisses. Here she was, losing herself to repose. There was a new state of peace of in her from making love to him after so long.
She said it to herself multiple times that night. Yes she loved her husband. But she loved Franklin too. She loved Franklin too. She loved Franklin, more, perhaps.
He held her close to his body, and stroked her dark hair. Tanisha pressed her cheek against his chest, staring into darkness. They both had done wrong. She was wrong to her husband. He was wrong to allow her to make such a mistake.
She sat there in her bedroom. She held Lamar's hand tightly. She was too ashamed and afraid to tell any of her girlfriends. She looked to the man who was very much like an older brother to her after so many years. She inhaled deeply and exhaled loudly. Then she told him plain as day.
"I'm pregnant," Lamar didn't know that was what she would announce to him but found he was more afraid from the pause that followed the statement, than of the statement itself. "and I don't know who the father is."
"…I – should we call Frank?" He asked. He didn't have any idea or any solution. He quickly whipped out his phone and she grabbed it from him.
"No! Franklin can't know."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't know if it's his."
Lamar stood up and stared at Tanisha with an expression that could not be described. He at first seemed upset, but then his expression softened. "His…like…you and Franks?" She nodded. Lamar crossed his arms and closed his eyes, indicating he was deep in thought. "So, I might be a God-father? That sounds expensive."