Lauren: That really helps thank you, I'll remember that from now on. Thank you so much and if that's the only mistake you could find than I'm happy anyway haha. No, but if you find any others I'd like to know about them too so I can make it better afterwards. So… If you have the time and find any. Anyway, thank you for writing and reviewing.

I don't know if I should keep on apologizing for not updating very often. I have kind of lost my interest in this story and haven't got too many ideas. But don't worry, I will keep on going until the end. It might end up with the story ending up set during a shorter time than what I first planned but I will write until the end. So… yeah, until then I have to just write, even if it means I force myself to write and the chapters end up not very good but… Well, if anyone would have any ideas for what would happen, then… I'm open to anything. Just write it in the reviews or send a pm and I will see it and I will consider every single one of them.

A month after my failed attempt to try medicines for ADHD at March the seventh the competition was getting closer as well as the winter nearing its end. Whenever you'd walk outside you'd either have to wear ice bugs or walk really, really carefully since it was mostly clear ice on the ground and still big piles of snow all around. Of course it didn't bother the Cullen's at all- but about the second day it had been like this Carlisle had gotten me ice bugs and wouldn't let me go anywhere until I'd promised I wouldn't walk outside without them.

When I was in the skating hall by school to yet another time rehearse for the competition in less than two weeks I couldn't help but laugh at an idea I have that maybe it would work even better to only not take the skates off leaving and just skate to the bus stop over the ice. Well… If only they hadn't put gravel to make it less slippery.

I could see Kiana and her friends standing on the other side of the skating hall and they were glancing towards me. Pointing and laughing about something. But they were in the other side of the hall and I had music on in my earplugs so I had no chance of hearing them, and even though I tried to shake it off I had already had a very bad day and mostly just wanted to go over and punch each and every one in the face. Although that would make me no better than them and before I had a chance Kiana was leaving the group and to be honest, none of them others were half as bad as her when it came to the bullying.

Since the day I had tried Ritalin she hadn't actually been much on me though, but there wasn't a chance that it would last and I was afraid that not knowing anything for a month she was planning another blow- and this time something bigger than just throwing insults after me in the hallway or laugh at me along with her friends.

I sighed at the thought of what they might be planning this time, and once again jumped into the air and tried to spin laps. I made one, made two, made two and a half and then I fell. Even through my earplugs and music I heard the laughter spreading from Kiana's friends echoing through the hall, and even though I tried not to care about it I felt my cheeks heat and mostly just wanted to sink through the ice, the floor and disappear. Then suddenly someone was standing right by me and I felt even worse.

"Are you okay?" At first I thought it was someone asking just to make me feel worse, then I recognized Tysen's voice and looked up to his stretched out arm and hand and nodded. "Here, let me help you." It wouldn't have taken much longer even if I had been on my own, but I let him help me and it was only a moment before I stood on my own two feet- and skates again. "Are you competing the eighteenth?" He asked silently, not for any of the others to hear it seemed and I nodded. "Me too, but in the boys' class. Even though I don't really get why they should split girls and boys like that… Anyway, good luck. See ya."

"Ty." I shouted after him and he braked and turned around. "Don't tell Carlisle if you meet him okay? That I'm competing I mean. I'm planning something." Tysen nodded and made a move as if he was closing a zipper in between his lips. "Thank you." He smiled, and then kicked off again and skated away.

I had been trying to do that triple axel what must have been a million times only the last couple of days, so at last I decided that this was enough for today and skated up to get my things, and then walked back into the school hallway to just get my things and go home.

Walking into the stairs I suddenly heard a shout, then I could see Joel Carlyle coming tumbling down the stairs right over me. And I could just see someone from the football team, couldn't tell who but someone big turn around and run. And so I could see Joel tumble down the last couple of stairs and hit the wall and then laid moaning on the case between the staircases.

I wasn't too sure what to do, my conscience told me to quickly make sure he was okay, call an ambulance or get the nurse if he wasn't and stay until I had told someone about what I had seen, but something else told me to just run off and act like I had seen nothing and that was the strongest part of me, and so I turned around and ran down the stairs and out of the school building. My homework wouldn't move from my locker until tomorrow anyway.

But I could still feel my heart beating with… was it fear that Joel had hurt himself? Or was it just fear that someone had seen that I had seen and that I would get in trouble for having just left like that. And so for no one to be able to grab me I started running, and ran all the way to the bus stop where the bus pulled up just as I came running and I jumped right into it, held my wallet towards the machine in the front for it to feel my bus pass and then half ran into the back where I threw myself down on a seat furthest back and tried to think about something else.

But it didn't even work, and as soon as I lost my concentration on homework or competition or whatever else I was trying to think about. I could see Joel, actually the only one in the school who had been nice to me, tumbling down the stairs and hit the wall. I could see blood dripping from his nose and mouth and down onto the floor, and his arm pointing in a totally wrong direction. And I felt something... It was guilt because I had just left him like that. It was anger for him to have made me care about him, and for myself to have not let him. But it was also something else, something that made my heart beat as if it would jump right out of my chest, and my thoughts spin worse than ever.

I couldn't quite place what kind of feeling that last one was, or maybe I could… But Jamie Dylan doesn't fall in love…

…Does she?

I shook the thought off and concentrated on something random. I ended up counting street lights outside the window and at last mostly ran out of the bus and up the hill to the Cullen's house. Anything to just run away from the picture of Joel at the bottom of the stairs and how I had just turned around and left.

I shouldn't be feeling like this. Should I? Why would I care about him? We weren't friends. He was just an annoying person who had suddenly acted like he knew me and everything. I didn't care about him at all….

…Did I?

"Hello dear." Esme greeted me as soon as I was inside the door and woke me up from my thoughts. "Can you come into the kitchen? I just made some wraps with spinach and feta that I thought you could try." I froze for a moment. I wasn't too sure, unless many I thought spinach tasted good. Feta however- not too much. But I didn't want to disappoint Esme after everything she had done for me and after all, since Renesmee wasn't a too big fan of human food I was the only one here that could actually try out and give her food reviews every time she tried out some new recipe.

"Not now. Later, GOD. Sometimes you guys just have to leave me the heck alone." I didn't care about the fact that I'd taken my ice bugs off and it was slippery as hell outside. I burst out the door again, more embarrassed and stressed about everything than actually annoyed. Had planned to get down the road, sit grumpily down by the mailbox for half an hour or so and then go back to the house. But I didn't even get one step outside of the porch, as when I put my foot towards the ground I slipped and then suddenly everything was spinning around.

"Hello darlin'" Suddenly someone had caught me and right above me I could see Jasper's face and blonde curls while he pushed me up then held onto my coat until I was safely back on the porch. "I heard you talking to Esme. Is everything alright? You sounded quite stressed."

A part of me hoped that Esme would have heard that too. Maybe if she did then at least I wouldn't get in trouble for being so rude. But if she had she would worry about me. But if I got in trouble… Every time since I came to the Cullen's and got in trouble I had always gotten out of it quite easily again. So what if I got in trouble and couldn't get out of it… What if…?

"Jamie? What are you so afraid of? I can feel it?"

Darn it, what if one of the younger Cullen's had been there and seen or heard that I was there when Joel fe… was pushed down the stairs and then only left… What if they knew? Oh, if they did then I was so getting in trouble for it and…

"Jamie." Jasper was almost shouting now. "Seriously, if your heart would beat any harder you'd have a heart attack. What is it darlin'?" Next thing I knew Emmett was there pulling me into a ribs- crushing hug after having heard what Jasper said.

"JayJay don't be sad or stressed. JayJay be happy…" I sighed, and to get away from the boys I went into the kitchen to try these wraps that Esme had done. Which actually, didn't taste too bad. Quite alright actually- more than alright. And when no one had mentioned Joel or school three hours after the last one came home, I finally relaxed.

"Hey… Jamie is it right? You live with the Cullen's?" The next day I had brought was what left of those wraps for lunch. Say whatever, but Esme's cooking was better than any cafeteria food. And Jada Carlyle- Joel's little sister came up to me and held out some books. "Could you do me a favor? I was asked to bring some books to Joel. He's okay after that fall but in the hospital. Only I haven't got the time, so… Is it possible that if you brought it and Dr. Cullen is at work…" She looked at me with big puppy eyes. "I wouldn't ask if I had a choice."

"Fine then." I said at last. "I'll take it."

"Thank you so much." Jada shoved the books into my hands. "I owe you one. Okay?"

"Whatever." I pushed the books down into my backpack and pushed the box with the rest of those wraps in after it. I didn't have any appetite after knowing that I would go to see Joel. And I knew that seeing him I would feel bad… and I wasn't so sure that even if I had decided to keep it a secret. I could keep that from him.

But if Joel was in hospital anyway, why wouldn't I just leave the books to Carlisle and he could take them?

Carlisle showed me to where Joel was and then had to leave, and still standing outside Joel's room I actually wondered seriously on why I hadn't just given the books to Carlisle. But I couldn't really change my mind and slowly and carefully opened the door to find Joel on the one bed in the room, next to him a pack with Harry Potter books on the table, right next to a jar of Nutella and a number of Dr. Pepper- cans. And also a woman I didn't recognize- but had the same hair color as Joel and Jada sat by the bed with her back against me. But since Joel was asleep I quickly pulled up the books of my bag and my plan was to just leave them and run.

"Hello." The woman turned around when she heard me. "Oh… You must be Jamie, Joely has told me so much about you." I felt my chin drop slightly- who was he to talk? He didn't even know me. "Don't worry. He's only told me good things. Actually," she leaned a bit closer to me. "I think my little boy have got a crush on you." I felt myself blush and tried to stutter something, but was interrupted. "Oh how rude of me. I'm Christa. I'm Joel and Jada's mum." She shook my hand. "And you are Jamie aren't you?" I nodded slightly. "Yes, and he's right. You are beautiful." I blushed again, and this time Joel was the next one to speak.

"Mum." He moaned from where he laid and started stretching after waking up. "Oh, ow." Mrs. Carlyle immediately turned her attention to the other side and her son and started fussing around him. "Mum, mum. It's alright. But…" Joel looked like he was brainstorming and then looked up at his mum with even worse puppy eyes than what Jada had looked like me. "You know those Kleiner's- candies I've been wanting to try. Can you get me a bag of those and another Dr. Pepper from the kiosk?"

"But…" Mrs. Carlyle hesitated. "…That's on the other side of the hospital so it will take me a while." Joel changed his sweet puppy eyes into looking sternly at his mum. "Okay, you've got your phone if you come up with something else you want." Joel nodded and Mrs. Carlyle grabbed her purse and disappeared while both I and Joel drew each relieved breath.

"I'm sorry about her." Joel tried to sit up but sunk back against the mattress right away. "She just needs to shut up sometimes. But Jamie…" At the last couple of words his voice went deep and serious. "I saw you… And don't act like you don't know I saw you when I fell in the stairs. And did you really have to tell anyone that somebody had pushed me?"

"I didn't tell anyone anything. Why would I?"

"There was no one else there that could have seen those bullies pushing me. And now mum and dad are pulling me out of that school and God knows where I will be going then." That Joel seemed so angry about just that annoyed me. Didn't he see how lucky he was? "Because no matter if that was your intention or not. Mum and dad doesn't want me in a school with bullies who hurt me physically."

"Isn't that good then?"

"No."

"Why not? Because your parents actually care about you. Because your sister who is a thousand times more popular than you are the…" I hadn't finished the last question before Joel interrupted. And I actually wasn't so sure what I should think about what he thought.

"Because mum is right and you are there."

So. That's it. Joel's got a major crush on Jamie- end of story. And I've started posting random facts about the chapter in the end of chapters so…

Random fact

That how with the roads are all slippery and you have to wear ice bugs to move around… I think I know that part of the year very well.