11. I Am Not Your Friend

"So this is the end of the story,

Everything we had, everything we did,

Is buried in dust, and this dust is all that's left of us."

From Eyes Wide Open by Gotye

Red XIII told him to go to the sailor's deck, where the others would be. Cloud spotted Yuffie first, hunched over on the floor clutching the rails near where some sailors were talking. There weren't many people on the deck other than them. The sailors glanced his way when Cloud came near, but looked away quickly; they saw his uniform. Cloud noted that they didn't look surprised, though. Did that mean that there were other SOLDIERS on board as well? Was this the ship Rufus had boarded? He felt himself tense, listening for voices through walls, searching for something. But first,

"Ugh," Yuffie said when Cloud approached her. Cloud crouched down in front of her, whispered so that the sailors wouldn't hear.

"What's the deal? How come you're here?"

"What's the deal? This thing is in the air, and moving on its own, that's the problem!" Yuffie said. She looked so green and sick that Cloud was tempted to step away from her. Then, suddenly, she grinned, though the sickness hadn't disappeared completely. "That's what I tell anyone who comes near me. They just go away."

"Hm," Cloud nodded. He lowered his voice even more, barely a whisper. "Why are we on this ship?"

The ship lurched a little, then, and Yuffie almost shrieked. She grabbed the windowsill so tight that her knuckles were blue, face deathly pale.

"On second thought," Cloud said hurriedly. "I better ask someone else."

Yuffie nodded. "You do that."

"Where are they?"

"I don't… know… blending in… Hey, Cloud, you got a tranquilizer?"

"A what?"

"Tran… never mind. Obviously not." Yuffie rolled her eyes, waved a hand in front of her face. "Now go away and leave me to rot in hell."

He did, gladly, and made his way to the main deck. There were more people here, sitting in groups of twos and threes, looking out the full-glass window. Cloud chanced a glance, saw sky – and then quickly looked away.

He found Aerith sitting in front of the window at the back, alone, but not looking out of place. She was sitting on an observation bench with her knees drawn up to her chest. Her long braided hair hung behind her back, dangling with the movements of the ship. Cloud walked behind her and tapped her shoulder. She wasn't surprised to find him here, he thought, smiling up at him like they had promised to meet each other here.

"Hey, Aerith," he said, sitting down next to her. "Nice disguise."

Aerith laughed. "Once we sneaked inside, they didn't really check."

"Speaking of which, how come you're all on board?"

"Oh, we were making our way to the airport, and then Barret saw Rufus Shinra walking into this ship. And then…"

"Got it," Cloud nodded. "But what if I hadn't come?"

"I guess we would have left without you," Aerith says, exaggerating a shrug. "Oh well."

"… Yeah." Cloud scoffed, stood up. "I'm gonna go find the others."

"Okay," Aerith laughed, and went back to looking out the window. Cloud thought about asking what she found so interesting in the endless skies, but didn't. For no particular reason, except that he didn't want to disturb this, now, her soft brown hair and shaded green eyes. So he left, without saying anything.

He found Barret just outside the bridge, not so inconspicuously peering inside.

"Barret!" Cloud said, in a whisper. "You're gonna –"

"Oh, hey, Cloud – but look! It's Rufus Shinra and that damn Heidegger. They're this close…"

Barret held up his thumb and forefinger, almost touching.

"Don't cause a ruckus," Cloud warned. "We're outnumbered."

"I know, but…" His face distorted. Then suddenly, he slapped his thighs and snarled, "God! I can't take it no more! I'm gonna settle this thing here an' now –"

"Wait!"

But Cloud voice was flooded over with a loud beeping noise, a siren, that started flashing red.

"Emergency alert! Reports of a suspicious character!" A voice boomed so close to Cloud's ears that he almost smashed the wall speaker reflexively. "Those not on detail, search the ship, report when found! I repeat, reports of a suspicious character…"

"Damn, did they find us?" Barret cursed, jumping up on his feet. "Get off yer spiky butt and let's go, Cloud!"

Cloud followed Barret out through the corridor (thankfully they were not seen by Rufus and Heidegger, who darted out right after they'd left, confused), wondering if it wasn't best to give themselves up, if they had been compromised. They didn't stand much chance against a ship full of men, and besides, there might be other SOLDIERS here as well. And there was nowhere to run to. He felt a little claustrophobic.

They must have agreed to meet at the cargo bay where Red XIII was, because that was where Barret was headed. When they rushed in, having passed all the passengers who had half-stood up, looking around confusedly, they were all gathered there.

"Everyone all right?" Tifa said, wiping sweat off her forehead. "Oh, Cloud – good, you found us."

"Did they find us?" Yuffie shrieked, clutching her stomach.

"I don't know… but they didn't look like they were chasing us," Aerith frowned.

"Hey, wait, you don't think that suspicious character is," Barret gulped. "Sephiroth?"

"Sephiroth? Really?" Tifa said, eyes wide.

"I don't know! I'm jus' sayin'…"

"Let's find out," Cloud decided. Hearing his name brought something vile to his throat, the skies all around him were closing in like some Mako-filled tubes in an inescapable pod, and his heart was beating too quickly.

"But we don't know where to go," Tifa said, carefully, like her words could harm him somehow. Cloud took a deep breath.

"I know where to go."

"How? Is that one of your superhuman thingy?" Yuffie asked.

"We're gonna follow the blood."

"What blood?"

But they found it all right, a long trail of blood, spatters and drags that led to another cargo hold on the other side of the ship. Cloud wasn't exactly sure how he'd known that there would be blood; but if it was Sephiroth, there would be. If it was – who was he kidding, he knew it was, he could feel it in his Mako-tainted veins. One failed SOLDIER calling to another, perhaps.

When they entered the room, all he could see at first was blood. There was too much blood. He counted three dead, two sailors and one Shinra infantry, who had probably died before they could report the location. It was quiet, except for the metallic smell of blood which filled the air sharp and rusty. But there was too much blood. Pools of it under each body, of course, but all over the floor and walls too, like someone had intentionally spread it that way.

Then he looked up, and like a predetermined play sequence, there he was; standing in the middle of the room, suddenly, staring at him. His long sword was dripping more blood. But he wasn't dirty, not one drop of red on his silver hair and black uniform. Except for the setting sun, a blazing orange sunlight that suddenly exploded from behind a cloud, creeping in from a window high on the wall and sliding down through his hair.

Cloud opened his mouth. He wasn't sure what to say first. "Sephiroth."

Sephiroth just stared. Placid, almost even content.

"You're alive," Cloud said. He was calmer than he'd imagined he would be. And he had imagined it a lot on the way, how their reunion might look like after so many years.

"After so many years," Sephiroth said, echoing his thoughts, startling him. "After a long sleep. The time has come, finally."

His voice was terribly low, terribly soft; the airship moved and the sunlight disappeared. The entire room was now his voice, and Cloud couldn't move if he wanted to. Sephiroth took a step forward. He wanted to step back but didn't – couldn't – wouldn't? There was a crooked smile on Sephiroth's face, the only kind of smile he'd ever worn.

"Cloud."

"The time – the time for what? What are you –" He swallowed. Didn't want his voice to crack, didn't want to show him any kind of emotion. Betrayal, hurt, fear, everything, he would keep it all down. He would hide everything away. So Cloud tried again. "What are you going to do, Sephiroth?"

"Cloud," Sephiroth said again, as if that was the only thing he could say, as if he was confused still. The blood gathered at the tip of his sword, dropped heavily in a fast-gathering pool below. Cloud waited, with his breath held. He did not trust himself to speak. He did not know why he didn't lunge forward, pierce his heart with his sword; except that he knew, almost definitively, that it would be no use. Sephiroth was not – whole – his eyes, green and vivid, did not flame, did not gleam, were tainted orange by the sunlight. Outside, the clouds must have moved away again. There was a burst of red and orange that he was blinded for a moment, had to close his eyes for a second.

"I am not –"

"What?" Cloud opened his eyes, but Sephiroth was gone. Only an unfinished sentence was left hanging, filling the room, and Cloud stared at the empty space and the pool of blood left behind, which had gained sickly orange shadows from the sun.

Maybe he was never here, Cloud thought numbly. Maybe I am dreaming again.

But he wasn't. Tifa drew in a sharp breath behind him.

"Where's Sephiroth?" Came her bewildered voice.

"He was here just now!" Barret roared, eyes wide and searching, like Sephiroth might just be hiding behind one of the craters.

"He's not here, Barret, he's gone." Cloud said, feeling the throb of absence behind his eyes. There was a part of him that was connected to Sephiroth somehow. The thought made him sick.

"That was one hell of a creepy dude," Yuffie decided.

"Wait, there is something there on the floor," Red XIII said, approaching carefully. He nudged it over with his paw. It looked like a tangled mess of tentacles.

"Urgh," Yuffie groaned loudly. "Really? Tentacles? Urgh, I'm gonna be…"

"What's that?" Tifa sounded horrified too. Cloud was about to say he didn't know, when he realized it looked familiar. But he did know. He had seen it, or at least something very similar to it, a long time ago and also not too long ago.

"That looks like Jenova," he said. "… Maybe an arm."

"The hell?" Barret grunted, stepping back from the thing. Red XIII darted back to them as well, growling low.

"It was Sephiroth, right?" Cloud said, just to be sure. Murmurs of agreement; so that was good, he hadn't imagined the whole thing. Not a hallucination this time. Or was that a bad thing?

"He said some dramatic thing like," Yuffie dropped her voice, imitating Sephiroth's deep, ringing voice. "The time has finally come."

"What does that mean?" Tifa said, frowning.

"Who knows? He creeps me the hell out…" Barret shuddered.

"He said something else, too. Or tried to," Cloud said. Everybody looked at him. "At the end, right before he disappeared. He said, I am not –"

"I am not – what?" Barret asked.

"I don't know. Didn't anyone hear that?"

"I didn't," Tifa said, uncertain.

"Me neither. He must've whispered or somethin'."

Cloud didn't say anything. Maybe that part had been his imagination – he wasn't sure.

One thing, though, was that now they knew for certain that Sephiroth was alive. Cloud didn't know if he was still human (or if he ever was), but he was alive, and conscious, and he had something in mind. He was sure of that, at least.

I am not –

I am not your friend anymore, Cloud imagined Sephiroth saying. It could have been that. Or maybe he is just being naïve and optimistic, thinking that Sephiroth had ever thought him a friend.

But Cloud had. And Sephiroth wasn't. Not anymore.