I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S ONLY THREE CHAPTERS LEFT OF THIS STORY. I CAN'T BELIEVE I CAN'T BELIEVE I CAN'T BELIEVE!

So here's the thing. I might have called Carlisle 'Carole' like eighty seven times. But that is because I mostly write glee fanfiction and then mostly about a character called Carole so that is the explanation. To that. I hope that I'll remember to call every character by their actual names from now on. Okay? Great thank you.

I didn't look up for what felt like hours. I was on a side road where no one would come by so for like half an hour I just sat there with my head down and tears that just wouldn't stop falling from my eyes. And so suddenly, I could hear something. It was someone getting closer, the sound of crutches being pushed into the wet ground and someone sighing.

"Jamie Dylan?"

I had tensed more and more as the person came closer and refused to look up at him. Then, when he spoke I flinched. But it was only fast as soon I recognized the voice. The only voice that would make me all confused and dizzy.

"Joel?"

"What happened to you?" Joel jumped over to me with his crutches and one foot lifted. "No, don't tell me. Prom night? Someone pushed you out of prom, made a fool of you and then you left?" I just shrugged- I didn't really want to waste the breath of telling him the whole true story. "Or did someone say you could go with them even though it was just a prank?"

"Something like that. What?" Joel had laid one of his crutches on the ground and held his empty hand out. "What?"

"May I have this dance Miss Dylan?"

"Yuk! Miss Dylan? Seriously?"

"May I have this dance Jamie?"

I couldn't help but smile slightly. And somehow all of my walls to keep people away not to get hurt had fallen. So I took his hand and got onto my feet. We got in a somewhat dancing position, which was kind of hard since he still had one crutch and a broken leg to worry about. But he's hand was on my waist, mine on his shoulder and my other one around his wrist of the hand that he held the crush in.

Joel started humming on whatever melody, and slowly and with no sense of rhythm we moved over the road. It wasn't pretty in any way. But I just couldn't stop smiling. How could I ever have even tried to hide my feelings for this guy?

I had tried to show, and even have feelings for a guy that I always knew I didn't feel anything for. While at the same time, and even before that I had done everything to try and push away Joel. Because I had to push him away, I had thought that if I didn't then I would always be the one to get hurt in the end. Because that was how it had always been, I loved someone, let myself feel something and I would have my heart broken.

"Isn't that Hedwig's theme from Harry Potter?"

Joel just smiled, that guy was way too big of a Harry Potter fan for his own good. When he mumbled something about that I would have to be freezing and pulled his jacket off to lie it over my shoulders I could see he was wearing a Hogwarts- printed hoodie as well. And seriously- if even I. Who barely knew Joel knew that he was a major fan. How tired would his parents or his sister be of it?

Realizing that I barely knew Joel at all made me regret even more how I had treated him. And actually. How I had treated myself with not letting myself realize how I felt and just pushing him away in one cruel way after the other over and over and over again. And I realized that if I wouldn't say anything to Joel now. It would haunt me forever. So I might as well just say it right out.

"Joel?"

"Mhm."

"I'm sorry for the way I have treated you."

"That's okay. I'm not resentful."

I couldn't help but smile slightly. And I still couldn't for my life understand why or how I had even managed to suppress the feelings I had for this boy. Because now suddenly, all the feelings roared up at once and my heart could have just exploded for everything it felt. But I still couldn't help the clenching in my stomach when I realized I was still wet and greasy and everything now when Joel was here. But he must have heard my thoughts.

"You look beautiful." I looked down on myself, my dress was wet, ragged and greasy. I had loads of small cuts from whatever while I was running on my arms hand hands. My hair was wet and greasy and hanging in big thatches down my head. Actually, whole I was greasy and wet and God knows everything.

I didn't have the time to think any further before a car came speeding towards us and lit us up with the headlights. Joel had trouble moving because of the crutches so I quickly grabbed one of them and then supported him quickly to get us both off the road. But as the car came closer it slowed down and stopped. But in the dark, I couldn't recognize it until it was really close.

"Jamie?" Carlisle stepped out of the car and came running (human speed) over to us. "Emmett called me and told he couldn't find you. And that he saw that Arlo- guy dancing with someone else while laughing. And then the same Arlo- guy being thrown out for being drunk. Are you okay?" I glanced to Joel and smiled slightly.

"Never better!"

"Good day Dr. Cullen."

"Good day…" Carlisle just smirked. "No seriously Joel. Don't be so polite. I get enough of that at work… So… I can see you're having a good time. But I can also see you're both freezing cold so… Well… I take it you'd like to continue have a good time so… Why don't you both come to ours? And I'll give you a ride home later Joel?"

"Oh…. Dr… Carlisle, you really wouldn't have to."

"I know I don't have to. I want to."

Joel just smiled, which made me feel weak in the knees if possible more than what it had done before. And while I hoped that he would with all of what I had Joel nodded thanks to Carlisle and answered him that that would be great.

"What did the others tell you about me and Joel?" I whispered it under my breath only a few seconds later. Joel wouldn't hear it but I knew perfectly well that Carlisle could hear me. He was helping Joel to get into the car with his crutches but turned to look at me. And came over when the door was closed and I was on my way to get in into the passenger front seat.

"Oh Jamie. The children didn't have to tell me anything."

It was a good thing that it was dark, and while Carlisle could see me very well. Joel couldn't. Because I haven't blushed that much in my whole life! And Carlisle just chuckled and got into the driver's seat and started driving as soon as everyone had their seatbelts on.

I might have gotten to borrow Joel's jacket. But I was still soaking wet and shivering cold. And that was the whole way home and into the house. Carlisle looked a bit troubled- I could guess at least a little bit because he couldn't do anything about just that. And as soon as we were back home, even though Joel was there Carlisle and Esme more or less forced me into the shower to warm up.

I had wanted to stay out with Joel in the kitchen now when I had finally accepted that what I was feeling wasn't going away and so. But I had to admit that being warmed up by the water running over my head felt pretty darn good.

When I came upstairs again I was expecting that Joel would have left. Who would want to just sit and wait while the other one was in the shower? No, thought so. But already in the stairs I could hear Joel's voice and smiled happily. Then ran up the stairs and didn't even mind that I was wearing purple sweatpants and an ugly fleece shirt.

When I was halfway up the stairs and heard Joel's voice I stopped. But it only took me a split second to realize that if the guy didn't run for his life when I'd been wearing a ragged and wet dress. He probably wasn't going to run from me in comfortable clothes. And let's just face it. If he would- then I was still Jamie Dylan. And no boy would ever change me.

"Honey?" Esme turned to Joel just as I came into the kitchen. "Are you allergic to anything? Is there some food you don't like? And would you like some pancakes and hot chocolate?"

"No." Joel smiled politely. "No, and you really wouldn't have to do that Mrs. Cullen."

"Esme honey. The Mrs. Is making me feel older than my own grandma."

"Esme."

Esme blinked to me- older than her own grandma! I knew, but Joel didn't so she couldn't say what it was about. I smiled slightly, but forced myself not to laugh as then I'd have to explain it all to Joel and then we'd be in big trouble. Like more trouble than what I had been in with Carlisle when I shouted at Esme who was currently putting up pancakes on plates and pouring up steaming hot chocolate in coffee cups before she took the cups, and then the plates and put them in front of me and Joel.

"Here. Coconut and cacao pancakes. And hot chocolate with whipped cream."

"Wow" Joel for sure sounded impressed. "But… Aren't you two going to eat anything?"

"No." Carlisle smiled. "We had dinner earlier…." Joel looked questioning and Carlisle continued. "My Esme loves cooking and tries one recipe after the other. But since the children spend most of their time out they also eat out and so the only ones who eat are me and her. So don't feel like you're bothering or anything. I bet Esme's just happy about getting to try a new recipe on someone" Carlisle smirked and reached for the plate Esme had put with more pancakes. "I think I'll have to try one though." He sent me a meaning look, but Esme saved it and hit towards his hand. Telling him to leave it be. "See what I have to deal with?" Joel finally shook his head and let hear a short laugh. While he turned to the food and grabbed his fork.

"Most of this house is down in the basement. So I guess…" Carlisle glanced over Joel's crutches when we had finished eating. And before Joel had had the time to say anything Carlisle scooped him up. Joel started stuttering something random about that he could do it himself. "Not a word about it young man." Joel just sighed, seeming slightly embarrassed but not protesting while Carlisle carried him bridal style down into the living room.

"You know…" When Joel was down on his own… well, foot and crutches and jumped across the living room floor towards the hallway with all the bedroom. "…From outside this whole house seem really tiny. But I mean- it's huge! And just the fact that most of it is in the basement is so cool!" He looked around a bit, but had to turn his concentration towards his crutches again while we made our way through the hallway and into my room. Where I closed the door and hoped that Carlisle and Esme wouldn't be way too sneaky with what I and Joel were doing or talking about.

I sat down on the bed in my room, Joel in the desk chair. I was leaning my back against the wall and had the shoe soles against the bed with my knees bent. And actually… I sat like that for hours- and hours, and hours. And even though I knew first Carlisle and Esme. Then one more after one who came home would be able to hear every word we said. I don't think I'd ever hard to anyone as much as I had with Joel that whole night. We just never seemed to run out of things to talk about.

"Joel." God knows how many later Carlisle knocked the door. "I told your dad you were here. And now he's called me asking me where you are five times since you wouldn't answer. Come on, let me drive you home." Joel glared to the door. But with some struggling got onto his feet and to the door.

"See you tomorrow?" I nodded.

"Tomorrow."

While I could barely hear Joel and Carlisle leave on the floor above me I stood up, opened the wardrobe and found black fleece pyjama pants printed with white hearts and a big shirt with Winnie the Pooh on. Alice probably wouldn't agree, but she and Jasper didn't seem like they would be home today. So screw her! And this was the most comfortable so I quickly changed and got out into the hallway before I went to the bathroom and went to tell the others I was going to bed. Even though right now thoughts were spinning in my head so fast I didn't think I'd ever fall asleep again. And walking out into the living room with a dorky smile on my lips, I should have known Emmett wouldn't leave it be.

"I heard you spent the whole night with that Carlyle- guy. You two make quite a cute couple you know." I would have glared at him but in my state, I couldn't even do that. "Jamie… you're not coming with some comment… How are you doing?" He smirked and I leaned to the side against the wall. Before I finally found the right words and answered the big guy.

"I'm fine. More than fine actually."

I wasn't quite as fine the next day when the sunny and dry weather along with wind made pollen fly through the air and everywhere. And even though I was in the basement inside. Already when I woke up I could feel my airways wheeze and swollen. My nose run and my eyes burn. Holey hat! If Joel would come over today like he said- I would probably scare him into next week!

"Jamie?" Carlisle came through the door to my room just as I sat up and was stroke by a major coughing fit. "It's okay." Carlisle walked over the floor in vampire speed and grabbed my inhaler from the desk. And then sat down on my bed and held it ready towards my lips. There was nothing else I could have done than to breathe in and hope that the meds would help.

I sighed as deeply as I could and slumped back towards the sheets. My breaths were still short and shallow and my nose itched worse than ever while my eyes were just burning- I hated this time of year!

"How did you…" Carlisle was suddenly right by me with a glass of water and some allergy meds. "…Don't tell me. You smelled where they were right?" Once again I felt my airways getting more and narrower when I sat up and took the meds, Honestly, it got so bad so fast I had to breathe in with that inhaler again before I took them. Then didn't know what else to do then to stand up, pull a hoodie over my pyjamas and go to just lie down in the living room sofa instead. Since Carlisle wouldn't let me stay alone in my room furthest down the hall.

"The children are all out." Carlisle told me. "Don't ask me where!" Then we could all hear- me too. A knock on the door, and a voice calling out through the house.

"Hello?"

"Ugh." Carlisle stood up and walked human speed upstairs to help Joel down into the basement living room. "Why did he have to keep his promise about coming here today?" Through my still swollen eyes I could see Esme smiling but she didn't say anything else and neither did I before I heard Carlisle carry Joel downstairs and then put Joel down. "Joel, I look like a monster. Seriously, you should leave."

"You do not!" Carlisle stated before Joel would have had the time to answer me. "Joel, Jamie's suffering from allergies. And what she just said is not true." I laid down in the sofa and held my head where Joel wouldn't be able to see my face from where he was. Carlisle could still see me though, and if only glares could kill a vampire!

"Well…" Joel jumped with his crutches to the sofa and sat down. "You still look beautiful to me."

"You would still say that if I wasn't." I had gone tired and grumpy from the allergies and the medicines' side effect.

"How could you not be? You are beautiful."

"Joel!" I moaned. "Allergies are driving me mad, I'm grumpy and wheezing like crap. My eyes are red and swollen so is my nose and…" I took a break to sneeze. "I'm in an ugly pyjamas and even uglier hoodie. I'm not even wearing underwear. You- or anyone can impossibly still think I look pretty. Let alone beautiful." Carlisle raised an eyebrow at what I said about underwear and I tried not to show how embarrassed I was about it. And turned my head when Joel reached for me but he still stroke a tress of hair out of my eyes. "Don't touch me." I turned my head back and looked at him.

"So what do you want to do?" I moaned at Joel's question. I didn't want to do anything wasn't that clear? Except maybe…

"Feel sorry for myself, eat loads of junk food and watch a marathon of glee or big bang theory"

"Glee and big bang theory with loads of junk it is."

I just glared at him, but while Carlisle started the DVD player and Esme went to the store to buy ice cream and candy… and Cheetos… and chocolate… and crisps… and I think that's about it…. Oh no, she was also buying cola and Fanta exotic. Wow! It was a miracle Joel was here without having mentioned, or even seemed to think that I was very spoiled. And I laid my chin down towards the pillow lying on the sofa and followed what happened in the very last episode of glee- the only one I yet had to watch for the first time.

Maybe, it was the fact that I had been pushing Joel away for so long while at the same time I had probably known all along how I felt. That so, we never seemed to run out of things to talk about. And we talked, and we talked, and we talked, and we talked. Actually, we went from talking about the weather or our favorite movies. To me telling him about my mum and dad, and even Jordan. But left out some pieces that were way too sad and miserable. Then he told me about that he'd started getting bullied in kindergarten, had never been outside Bangor, and wanted to go to Scotland for an exchange student year.

Despite the crutches, we spent most of the time in my room at the Cullen's house. And every time I suggested that we'd just go to his instead. He protested, I thought it might have been because Joel had gone slightly obsessed with Esme's food. And Esme wasn't protesting. She just continued cooking, and whatever she made it made Joel's eyes grew wide and he sat and twisted and turned every little thing on his plate or in his bowl or in his glass before he tasted it and closed his eyes and sighed in well- being.

But to me, it just seemed all too simple. I had finally met someone I could talk about everything. And instead of for everybody else that it would take ages to get through me so I could really talk about everything. Maybe I had just lighten up during all of these months while mum and dad had been at rehab, so it wasn't as hard anymore.

But it just couldn't stay that good. And every day I was waiting for someone to break some news that would make it all go away in an instant.

Esme had a thing with making the most delicious foods and treats. But when Joel came over on Friday the twentieth a week after the spring prom she really made something that I hadn't seen anything close to at all. And soon I and Joel sat on the floor in my room leaning our backs against the mattress with each bowl of homemade ice cream (banana and strawberry vanilla) topped with fresh strawberries, banana and loads of chocolate sauce.

I was telling some funny story, afterwards I would never be able to remember what. But we both laughed and it made Joel throw his head to the sides a bit, and then… Suddenly. We were just so, very close.

Before I barely knew what was going on. Joel's lips touched mine. I didn't really know what was happening or what to do- on TV it just all seemed so simple. Everybody knew how to kiss already before their first kiss and when they did it was just pink and fluffy and violin music all over the place. So wasn't reality

For one thing I wasn't all sure how this was done. And for another it seemed that Joel wasn't either. And at last we both just pulled away from each other and several minutes were spent in nothing else but awkward silence and I didn't even dare to look at him. Until I nervously looked up and right into his beautiful, brown eyes.

"Well that was awkward."

Joel just smiled nervously, and nothing else was said right then so I just leaned my head to the side and against his shoulder. He laid his arm around my shoulders and there we just… sat. We were probably sitting like that for as good as half an hour and I heard Carlisle's cellphone called and him answering it and talking. Even though the sound of his voice was too muffled by the walls for me to hear the actual words.

"Jamie." I had to lift my head from Joel's shoulder and turn my head towards the door when I heard a knock and Carlisle for once sounded somewhat stressed out. He knocked again. "Jamie, can I come in?" I answered him yes and he opened the door and I could see he also did look very stressed out and worried. "Jamie, it's your parents."

Cliffy, cliffy, cliffy. As you've probably noticed in earlier chapters I leave them often. But at least, it looks like it's only two chapters left of this story so I can't leave many more.

Is there anyone who wants those portions of ice cream that Esme had made? Yeah, me too. Or that hot chocolate or… Heck, I just want to try Esme's cooking over-all haha.

Am I the only one who sees the irony of Joel being a big Harry Potter fan in a twilight fic?

I know the relationship between Jolie is moving on very fast. But one- it's been in the works for ages and two- if I don't do it that way I would be stuck with like fifty more chapters to do. And I don't want that this close to the end.

Random fact

Without further explanation. I don't really like it when at the first kiss on TV and such everything seems so perfect and yeah, exactly everyone knows exactly how to do it and everything while… reality is a whole other thing. Of course it's different for different people, but with Jamie's first kiss I tried to keep it a bit more realistic. Too much information? Yeah I thought so…

I found some new portrayers for more of the characters. Here is the full list of portrayers if you want to look them up

Jamie Dylan- Annalise Basso
Jean Dylan- Hugo Weaving
Jessie Dylan- Julianne Moore
Joel Carlyle- Dylan Everett
Jada Carlyle- Joey King
Kiana Thomas- Maneepat Myra Molloy
Kaden Thomas- (younger) Forrest Wheeler
Tysen Tobin- (Younger) Sam Earle
Carter Tobin- (Younger) Jacob Hopkins
Luvie Tobin- (Younger) Kyra Krumins
Arlo Clemente- Dylan O'Brien
Leon Taylor- Hunter Parrish
Bruce Yang- Harry Shum Jr.