Bunnypop: Aw, that's sweet. I'm glad you did. I'm doing it too. And Jamie sure deserves it doesn't she? Well… I hope you like these last couple of chapters.

Oh my God! Two chapters left, and we have come to the conclusion of the assignment that was given by a teacher in chapter 24- 'blisters, new year and an assignment' And yeah, so that's what the chapter revolves around.

I don't know what happened
How it all ended up like this
I don't know how you figured everything
But I cannot change what is

It was Monday the twenty third. I wasn't so sure what happened during the day that I first had been eating ice cream sitting on the floor in my room with Joel. Carlisle had knocked on the door and said there was something going on with my parents. For the first time I had found out that mum and dad had been in the same building, but on different ends so they had never met.

Now suddenly, first dad had disappeared. Then mum had disappeared, and then loads of money had disappeared and then someone had figured they were on a plane to Bangor and don't ask me how they had figured. Not even I had figured yet, but we were so sure I now sat onto an empty shelf in the airport with my feet hanging a good bit over the floor. And in a distressed move I kicked my right foot back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

It had been about twenty four hours since I was told. And I was nervous as hell "Don't worry Jamie." Carlisle patted my knee and I shivered from the cold. "I'm sure that if they have spent so long at that rehab they have changed by now." I sighed- I just had the weirdest feeling. And when people from the plane from Florida started coming into the airport I gripped hard in Carlisle's hand- not caring about how much it hurt in my hand, or how cold it was.

I'm actually not so sure this is even happening
As by now, I thought that you had changed
That with whatever you had learnt
You could yourself have rearranged

One after one the passengers from the plane came into the airport and I desperately stretched out my neck to see if my big- grown dad and petite mum would come next. And honestly, I didn't quite know what to think if they did. Most of me just wished that they didn't. And even if I didn't want to face it- a part of me wished that they'd never come back.

A dad, a dark- haired man with Hispanic looks and a big smile on his lips came jogging. There were a woman and one boy, perhaps my age, or a bit older. And two younger children- one girl, and one even younger girl. The dad took his daughter under the arms and lifted her high up in the air. The man smiled even bigger, and the girl laughed so she screamed while the younger boy jumped around them trying to catch his dad's attention and the other, older boy stood right by. Blowing his fringe out of his eye and with one hand in his pocket. I think that many girls my age would have found him really nice- looking.

Loads of girls my age would think that they wanted- maybe even needed someone like that boy. Someone to just show off with, someone that would be sweet and kind when they were alone. But rough and protective as soon as they came out among people. Or whatever they thought they'd need. But I didn't need any of that. But I needed my kind of wonderful. I needed Joel! But I wasn't so sure even he could put an end to the nervousity roaring up inside of me and threatening to strangle me. And the fact that Carlisle was here didn't give anything either. And so I could hear a voice that I recognized very well and that made my stomach clench.

But still as long as I found something I love
You seem to push it all away
Push away everything that feels good
Everything that was okay

"Let go of me you b*tch." The voice was just as hoarse, if not more hoarse than what I could remember. But the main thing wasn't how I remembered it sounding. It was the way it could make my whole insides freeze to ice while my heart beat so fast I could feel it in my whole body just as two flight attendants, one male and one female came with holding each of dad's arms strongly in their grips and with tense looks on their faces.

Dad was fighting to get out of their grips, and Carlisle went from leaning against the shelf I sat at and walked quickly- human speed over to my dad and the couple of attendants leaning him. While dad's shout had one passenger and family member or friend after the other turned to look after him and then moved towards the rolling band where the bags would come.

Carlisle said something to the attendants, I couldn't hear what. But they had stopped and dad was angrily looking around. He stopped when he laid his vision on me and his eyes peered while a smirk that made shivers go through my whole body. Just as Carlisle grabbed onto my dad's arm and lead dad over to the shelf while my heart beat harder than ever.

After all the time that have passed
This must be the way it all ended up
I don't even think it's funny anymore
I really want it now to stop

It seemed that everyone aboard on the plane had come around the corner and I could feel my shoulders slouch. I had talked to dad that one time since they were taken to rehab. But the only thing I had really wanted to know was how mum was doing. And I really wanted her to have changed from what she was before, maybe even to what she was before then.

I just wanted to know what had happened to my mum. But as the doors were closed down to the gate and no one else seemed to have arrived I gave up the little hope I had left of that maybe mum and dad would have changed. Maybe we could make a new living- together. Something like that Hispanic man had.

But no- nothing happened. Well, nothing except for that I hung my chin, but could still feel dad looking at me.

I'm not sure what to do anymore
I don't know what could help us now
But no one could fix how this have become
No one does even know how

I sighed, and could feel Carlisle patting my knee again and then heard dad as he was trying to shake Carlisle's arm off his arm and wondered why on earth Carlisle was so cold and his skin so hard. But when I looked up just slightly for a second. Carlisle wasn't moving a muscle and held just as tightly onto dad's arm as dad kept on swearing.

Tears were rising in my eyes and I turned my head away from dad and Carlisle. I knew Carlisle knew and he kept his hand on my knee for comfort. But no way I was giving dad the enjoyment of see that he was a part of everything that had made me cry.

I dried the tears and looked up. I wasn't so sure where to look, but with tears still in my eyes I looked up and right into dad's cold, grey- blue eyes. I pulled for my breath, after all of these months with preparing myself for meeting him again. Because all along I knew that was going to happen sooner or later. I had promised myself to take it strong and not show him how he made me feel. But well here he still made shivers go through my spine.

And I can't believe you're still scaring me like this
I can't believe I'm letting myself get scared
I can't believe that I have ever
Thought you really cared

For a moment I was like hypnotized by dad's cold eyes and evil smirk. And for that moment I didn't know what to say, what to do or even who I was or where I was. But that all changed when I heard the doors to the gate open again, and I finally turned my head to see there was another female attendant that lead a woman I quickly recognized.

"Mum…"

I crawled down from the shelf and jogged over as far as I could to the gate. But when I came as close as I could come without setting of those alarms. I could tell that nothing had changed. Her eyes were empty, so was her whole expression and body language. She was walking, but let herself be led by that attendant and after all- it seemed like we were just back at square one with everything.

Is this what I've been waiting for
For everything to just have stayed the same
While dad hates me and keeps glaring
And mum, you just seem lame

I wasn't so sure how it all happened. Maybe I had gone exactly like mum would. But somehow we got out of that airport and into Carlisle's car. They hadn't brought any bags with them, so it all went kind of fast until I- on one of the sides of the back seat, mum on the other and dad in the front passenger seat driving towards the house that a part of me had never wanted to go back to.

"You're coming home with us Jamie."

Dad's voice sounded hoarse and demanding standing outside on the porch. Mum said nothing as usual, and Carlisle seemed to be the only one who even cared about what I cared for it all. It felt like shit! All of it did- that dad was obviously the same! That mum was obviously the same! And that I had to go back here after all this time.

I don't want to be here
This isn't my home anymore
I don't know if it ever was
But I just seem like for you, only as a bore

"What do you want to do Jamie?" Carlisle almost whispered to me, too quietly for mum to hear while dad went out into the garage to find the spare key. "You know, if you don't want to do this then you've always got a place at ours."

I didn't know what to say at first, but even before dad had shot me that meaning glare I knew I couldn't accept his offer. And I needed to come up with an excuse fast enough or I would have to get back to the Cullen's for sure and… I guess I just didn't know what would happen either way. But I was a hundred percent sure that both mum and dad were exactly the same as they had been before I was taken in by the Cullen's.

"I'll stay here." I told Carlisle. "If there are any problems or anything I'll call or show up. Okay?" I knew I couldn't have hid the shakiness in my voice even if I had tried. While I also knew that Carlisle could hear exactly how hard my heart was beating. "Really, you can leave. If Joel comes over… tell him I'll call okay? I need tonight alone with… them." I nodded backwards where mum and dad had gone into the house. "Okay? You can leave." Carlisle handed me a few boxes of the kind that Esme would put food in if I would have needed to bring to school or anything. "Esme?" Carlisle nodded. "What is it?"

And it feels like everything that felt good
Will be gone forever
That nothing could ever change from this
And certainly not get any better

"Just some egg salad sandwiches. Your favorites." I nodded, one of the few things Esme had actually agreed to make more than once when I told her they were my favorites. "There are enough for all of you and." He pulled out a bottle from his bag as well. "Just orange juice." He looked around a bit. "And come here." He held his arms out and I didn't hesitate before I took two steps forward and hugged him tightly.

"I think you should leave now."

"You know you only have to call." Carlisle backed down from the porch and span around to walk the rest of the way to his car. But I could see him looking at me while he backed out of the driveway right before I walked inside and closed the door after me.

So here I am again
Back where I was so many times before
But things have changed since then
I'm not used to it anymore

"Jamie you little…"

Dad came out into the living room that you had to pass but I just ignored him and ran towards the stairs. He didn't keep me from running like I would have thought he would but I just continued up the stairs, but instead of turning left towards my room. I turned to the right where I knew exactly the sight I was gonna be met by.

"Mum…"

Please mum, don't do this once again
It's messing with my head
And I know all of this was for nothing
When I see you lying callous in your bed

I had feared all along that what mum was doing now- what she had done for years before what would be also when she came home. And now when she did my shoulders slumped and while I pulled for the very deepest of sighs I closed the door, and walked back downstairs. At least there weren't many things that could make it all worse now.

"Jamie…."

Well, except for that.

I never understand how lucky I was
Without having to see the look in my dad's eyes
Without the knowledge of me hurting
And listening to his voice being cold as ice

Dad was already holding a half- empty bottle of beer in his hands and with his other hand he was tensing in clenching and I knew exactly what was coming. But how could I ever have been ready for it.

Next thing I knew, I was down on the floor by the living room table and the pain from dad's blow pounded in my head. While the box I held in my hands had opened when it got hit down onto the floor and bread and egg salad had spread over the floor.

"SHUT UP, BE QUIET."

Please dad, please.
Don't take another blow
I've got feelings on my own
Now I'm gonna let them show

Lying there on the living room floor like so many times before. Taking blow after blow, kick after kick I couldn't help but moan and whimper. I knew it would make dad even angrier but earlier I had been used to this, and could take quite a bit. Now I couldn't!

"NO."

My shout chocked dad so to the point I could quickly get onto my feet and despite the pain running through every single little piece of my body I ran through the living room, the hallway and out onto the road.

I know where this is going
I've been here once before
But today is different and now I run
because I can't take it anymore

The last of the thin layer of ice that had been on the roads just a little bit ago had melted, which I was lucky for because I stumbled enough from limping since dad had gotten quite a nice kick towards my knee and I had to put so much concentration into running and right then didn't have either time or concentration for crying or whatever else to show my feelings.

"Carlisle!"

I ran into the Cullen house not caring about if Jasper or anybody else of them in there could smell the blood, but to my surprise Carlisle stood right inside the door and caught me. And it seemed like everybody else were gone, except for Esme who was suddenly on my other side from Carlisle and draped a blanket over my shoulders.

Run back to the ones who really cared
Who never hurt me would
The ones who told me truthfully
They'd love me like they should

"Oh sweetheart." Esme's voice sounded loving and calm. "Come on, let's go to Carlisle's office." She led me to turn around and down the hallway. And for a moment I probably couldn't have protested if I had wanted to. I just let Esme lead me down to Carlisle's office. And barely knew where or who I was, it was like all of my senses had just been put on standby and I didn't know what to feel or what I felt at all.

"I'm sorry." The first thing I noticed being pulled back to reality was Esme having let go off me and she stood in the door with a hand over her nose and mouth. "I'm so sorry." I had a feeling Carlisle and Esme talked too fast and too low for me to hear, but I just gestured that it was okay and Esme disappeared while Carlisle got out some Band-Aids and a few pills from a cupboard.

Carlisle frowned while looking up at me, it wasn't hard to guess he already knew what had happened even though I hadn't said a word. He would probably have known even if he hadn't known who my parents were or knew me only from the harm done if I knew him right. And I was a hundred percent sure he wanted to say something, but I wasn't so sure I wanted any words spoken at all. And he must have sensed it because he kept silent and held his hand to my knee.

So here we are again
It's like nothing changed at all
You hurt me like you did before
But couldn't keep on after last late fall

"It's okay." Carlisle mumbled and didn't let go of my jeans. "The cold keeps it from swelling."

"I know."

I hung my chin and looked right down, I had closed my eyes so to the point I could barely see Carlisle's hand in the corner of my eye. And with his empty hand he seemed to be investigating bruises on my face- I was for certain getting a black eye! And on my hands, but that actually seemed to be it all. Hey! Could be worse.

I can't believe it had to end like this
But I guess, we all knew there was no other choice
That I'm not what you need
You with your ice cold eyes and hoarse voice

I didn't look up again until both I and Carlisle could hear a knock on the front door. And I didn't remember until then that I hadn't even told Joel about this. That he'd think that I still lived here and if he wanted to meet me he would come. So while Carlisle went to check who it was I hoped with all of my heart.

"Hey Carlisle"

And it was- I would have recognized that voice anywhere. Carlisle said something I couldn't hear and then I could hear Carlisle's footsteps and the clicking of Joel's crutches right before they both came into the room and I could both see and hear Joel gasp when he saw me- by now that bruise was so swollen I could barely see through that eye.

There comes a point where you could tell
Who ever cared for you
And the people in this room does it more right now
Than you could ever do

I was on my way of saying something, but couldn't really find the right words and Joel crawled up onto the bunk next to me, opened his backpack and pulled out what looked like his stripy hoodie- the one he'd been wearing when he found me on that sidewalk after the prom, and a wrapped, soft present that he handed to me.

"You looked so down when you had been talking about your parents and then asked me to leave. And since then I haven't heard anything from you so… I wanted to give you something to cheer you up." He held me the present. But while I took it that blanket felt off and I turned to get it up again. "No… I was wearing this… twice during last week. And each time you took it right after I came here and didn't give it back until right before I would leave… So…" he held the shirt to me too. "There was something in me that wouldn't stop bugging me unless I gave it to you. And no protests!"

I didn't mind about the wrapped present at first. With the blanket off it got cold and I unfolded the shirt and pulled Joel's old shirt on as fast as possible and started buttoning it. Knowing way too well this was one of those hoodies that made the one wearing it having no sense of fashion and pretty much a loser. So if the buttons wasn't enough it was stripy in grey, white, beige and orange- of all colors. But right now I couldn't have cared less.

There comes a point
Once again it feels warm
And without that cold and hurt
There's still no room for any harm

"Come here. Let's go downstairs." Carlisle's voice sounded calm, yet steady and firm and I took the present, and felt carefully with Carlisle holding his hand out if I would fall but I nodded to him and limped through the house on my own after half realizing half deciding my legs- including the hurt knee would carry me through the house, down the stairs and to my- or at least what had been and, would probably stay mine for a while.

"Do you want me to leave you two alone?"

I nodded at Carlisle's question and started fingering with the tape on the present. Unwrapping some sort of teddy from build-a-bear. A light brown, fluffy and soft thing with complete tux. And without giving a second thought to it I hugged it close to my chest and half laid down with my feet pulled up and leaning against Joel's arm. So close I could hear his heart beating beneath that completely adorable Hufflepuff- T- shirt.

There comes a point
Where you don't even care what you do
With the right person
But dad, that would never be you

I couldn't even help it. Suddenly, everything was just falling out of me to Joel. He had put his arms around me and I was holding that teddy- already named Teddy- just Teddy very tight. Teddy and Joel together turned out to be the best comfort ever. Especially when I felt the tears start spurting from my eyes but within a minute or two I just seemed to have run out of them as I kept on talking.

I told him about Jordan, how much I had been looking forward to having a brother. How the death of him had gone to mum and dad and how I had met the Cullen's and got to know them until I moved in here. I told him about the bullies (several of them were the same that had been on him) and about the pneumonia. Until I at last got to the part about how dad must have figured everything out before he arrived here in Bangor earlier tonight.

Joel held my hand, the one that wasn't holding onto Teddy during the whole time I was talking. And he kept silent during the whole thing. Which was probably good because if I would have been interrupted I wasn't so sure I could have continued afterwards. And even though he didn't reply to anything. I could feel in every little thing he did and in every single piece of my body that he was listening hard to every little thing I said. And soon it was going just by itself while I held onto his hand. His skin against mine- even if it was ever so little just seemed to give a lot more comfort than my head towards his shirt could.

There comes a person
From who you only need a single touch
A person who you know understand
Even though they haven't done too much

When I was done I just felt so weirdly empty. As far as I could remember all of this had been kept secret. Then, I had spent months with the Cullen's, trying not to tell anyone but kept on telling them piece by piece and now… it was all out. I knew that the rest of the Cullen's were out but Carlisle had heard it all for sure. So now… it was all out and it felt… weird… and tired.

I sat up, but still rested my head against Joel's shoulder but no longer close enough to hear his heart beat. But I could feel him moving with every breath. And once he had put his arms around me I moved and then I could hear his heart beating again. Something that made me feel warmer right through than what his or any shirt could ever have done.

Dunk- dunk dunk- dunk dunk- dunk

And everything you have to do
Is to simply just feel
Everything that is mended
And for everything to heal

If I could have made this touch my first kiss. Then I would have. Because his lips towards mine this time was something completely different than that completely awkward thing last week. That one had just felt awkward, but now. Harder than ever before I could feel my heart beating beneath Joel's old hoodie.

"Jamie."

I had to break loose from our kiss when I heard Carlisle shouting for me. My first intention was to get really angry, like furious with Carlisle for ending that. I knew perfectly well that he knew perfectly well what we were doing and just as well that we wouldn't want to be interrupted. Like, did he want to interrupt me to give me the talk?

Until you just want to stay with the person
For every single moment in forever
His touch is everything you need
For what is bad to get better

But suddenly the thought hit me that if Carlisle would shout to me then. It was probably for something very important. And for everything that was going on it would probably be VERY important. So before I just got angry again I threw Teddy onto my pillow and headed for the living room and up the stairs.

"It's your mum."

As soon as we were upstairs, Joel and I we could see mum sitting on a bench right inside the door. She was still looking right in front of her. But actually sitting up. And she had managed to get her own shoes and jacket on after having taken it off back at… I couldn't even call it home anymore. This was my home, not Scotland, not that damn address half a K away from here. This place, on top of a hill, hidden in the forest- this was my home!

And that other person who has been there all along
Doing nothing at all at any time
Those wishes of ever seeing that person again
Well, they aren't ever going to be mine

"What do you want?"

"Jamie."

I had decided to be tough and callous from the start. After all, she hadn't been anything better than dad the last years. With letting Jean- I couldn't bother calling him dad anymore, hurt me and not seeming like she cared about neither me nor anything at all. I didn't want to seem like I cared after all of the time she didn't care about me.

But all it takes
Is one single little word
To take away all of what was yesterday
Like no one had ever been hurt

"Jamie" Mum still stood just still, but that was quite alright since I did too and for the second time in what felt like forever she called my name. "Jamie." I barely noticed it. But tears were raising in my eyes fast and rolling down my cheeks. Joel stood with his hand on my shoulder for comfort.

"Yes mum, yes. What is it?"

Mum didn't answer at first. Then just held out her arms and without any further ado I took the two steps over to her when she was now standing up and hugged her- tightly. Tighter than what I had ever held someone before I held her while she held me and my tears were quickly running over my cheeks and dripping onto her shirt.

And about what happened before
You couldn't less care
And everything you wanna do
Is to stay right now, right here

"We're moving back to Scotland"

Just a few words
And nothing will ever be the same again
But I guess as long as you can always run from the problems
Just like we did then

I know you don't care
But still, I wanted you to know
I've built my life up from the ground here
And I don't want to leave, I don't wanna go.

I know this chapter is dragging on. But I hope you liked it anyway.

So… one chapter left.

The poem is written by me myself and I. Don't steal

Random fact

Actually the verse starting 'please dad, please' is the first one I wrote. I've had it in my head for aaaaaaaages