So. Here we are with the last chapter. But first I'd like to say a few words.

As some of you may or may not know 2015 have been a really rough year for me. Now when there's only a couple of things left I look back on everything that happened and can't believe I got through everything.

But I did get through everything. But certainly not on my own. During these times I have learnt who will be there and who to keep close. I will be forever grateful for each and every one who has been there. But as you also may know, people aren't it all…

Fanfiction has always been there for me and so have all of you. Even if it was just a short review or a favorite mark or another follower you have all helped me to stand up yet another day. Taken yet another step and I just wanted to take this last A/N for this story to tell you how grateful I am.

So to you, yes, you who's reading this. Thank you, from the very bottom of my heart. Thank you.

Dear Carlisle

I can't believe it's been ten years since I saw you last. And neither can I believe everything that's happened since then. I bet you wouldn't believe it either. But since you've moved and broken all contact with Bangor there's no way I can tell you. And that's why I'm writing this letter, telling myself that someday you'll be able to read it.

I wish you'd be able to read it. There's so much I want to tell you about what happened after I and mum moved back to Scotland. I want to tell you how I keep on thinking about the things we didn't have time to do. That when I moved away from you the walls in my room were still white and that I never got a driving lesson for that motor bike. How at the end of the school year I e- mailed that poem to Mr. Trey and got an A+. Those are just bagatelles and there are so many bigger things. Although the most heartbreaking one, even though I knew it would happen. When I came back to Bangor and your old house was dark and empty.

I didn't return to Bangor while we lived in Scotland. And only a few months after I moved away from you Joel came here for an exchange year. I'm honestly not so sure how it all happened. But then we were mostly away from each other for two years, he moved to Scotland and then we moved back to Bangor. My mum too. There was nothing left for neither me nor her in Inverness. Or Scotland at all.

Oh and speaking about mum and Joel. First of all, mum's doing great. She has worked in a café for quite a few years now and she's happier than ever. In the future she plans to start lecturing about being in an abusive relationship or losing a child. But she's going to hold up for yet a while until she knows she's ready. And honestly I don't doubt that one of these days she will be. And stronger than ever she will for certain be able to talk about those things in front of hundreds, yeah. If not thousands of people- yes, I know. But I'm allowed to dream ain't I? Especially because she doesn't believe she'll get anywhere so I kind of dream for her.

Joel and I are still together. After the long story of us getting together we never split. Even though all of it have included his sister Jada stating when I and mum were moving back to Inverness that 'you hurt him again' a million laughing attacks and ugh! A thousand of those endless nights when our first son was born. Let me tell you about him, and our younger children.

We have got two sons, with two daughters on the way. Our firstborn, Scotty who is three years old is just the smartest, brightest three year old you could imagine. Just a few months ago he taught himself to read since there was no one around to teach him fast enough, and the other day he counted to thirty without any help from me or Joel.

Scotty doesn't really say much. But he always just shines with happiness. Lighting up whatever room he comes into and just looks around with those big, brown eyes as if he wanted to suck in all of the visible impressions from exactly everything and everywhere. Scotty will always come to get another hug and also is obsessed with peanut butter and banana sandwiches.

Sawyer is eighteen months. Yeah, yeah. I know- but I'm not giving you any details about it and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. He is more hyper and talkative than his older brother and instead of examining everything like Scotty he asks a tons of questions. Why is the sky blue? Where do flowers come from? Why is the grass green? Everything you could imagine from someone as young he asks. And yes, he does ask the same questions a million times over and over and over…

And so yeah, I'm also pregnant- again. About nine months, they should have been here yesterday so any time now. And Scotty and Sawyer couldn't be more excited. Of course- since we share last name Carlyle I couldn't name them after you. No matter how much I wanted to but Carlisle Carlyle just doesn't click does it? Well, I think two other Cullen's will be happy when they read the girls' names.

And yes, we know they're girls. Esme and Emily. I told Joel I wanted one of them named Esme and he loved the name. He also loved the name Emily when I discreetly suggested it. I didn't ask him to name one after Emmett. But with the way he smirks whenever someone mentions the name of Emily I bet he knows!

I swear he can read my thoughts sometimes… He just gets it!

Speaking about people who gets it. Did you hear that Tysen and his siblings used to be abused too? Well, I heard his gotten to the legal guardian of Luvie and Carter and is now a doctor. That and that Kiana is now working as a waitress is about everything I've heard from Bangor since I left. But moving on.

If you're wondering. My dad decided to cut contact with both me and mum the moment I and mum moved to Scotland. The wish was somewhat mutual. And the last I heard from him he was homeless and completely broken down by alcohol. Of course I care about him- he's my dad. However, I'm happier than ever that he's not around to hurt us anymore. And I can't for my life understand how anyone could let a person like that hurt her child. For me that just seems like… just no!

Well… I have got so much more to tell you guys. So much! But it's getting hard to keep my eyes open and nine months pregnant and exhausted there isn't much I can do. Although, I know what you would think if I talked to you instead of worrying about my own health so… tomorrow I'll go up onto the forest behind your house and I will drop it in the river and imagine you finding it for me to tell you everything I ever wanted.

And, as a last thing I just wanted to thank you, and of course Esme and Emmett and all of the others and… thank you. Just thank you. Thank you so much for not believing in me. And then for believing in me and… I just have no idea where I would be today if I hadn't had you so thank you. Thank you. Thank you for everything.

Thank you!

Lots of love

Jamie

…

Dear Cullen's

The long letter I wrote for Carlisle I put on my bedside table last night. I was going to do what I said and drop it in the river. But when I woke up the letter was gone. Joel had been asleep before me so it's not hard to figure where it disappeared. Next time you come here, wake me up and we can catch up a bit yeah? It would be nice talking to you again.

Lots of love

Jamie

So… that's it. That's the end. I'm not very happy with it. But… that's it! I hope you liked it!

Scotty is portrayed by Jeremy Maguire and Sawyer by Logan Moreau (As of good luck Charlie)

Thank you for reading this story. Thank you for your support.

Random fact

It's mentioned at a few places that the place in Scotland that Jamie used to live in is Inverness. As some of you may know this is like the Loch Ness place and from when I travelled through Scotland a few years ago with my parents and my brother one of the few places I can clearly remember.