16. Zack

"'Cause the sad sad side of it all is you don't remember

Being a breath away from death, the sad sad side of it all

And maybe, on a different day I'd let the rain wash this away

But it's just too late."

From Different Day by State of Shock

The forest surrounding Gongaga was dense, preserved in ancient greens like no human had ever been inside it. Or – the forests had consumed anyone who had. Had the vines creep up to the ankles, pull them in and twist, make them lost to the humid green –

Cloud stopped himself. It wasn't exactly a cheerful thought. The heat was really getting under his skin, though; he took a step over the writhing roots on the forest floor. A drop of sweat trickled down his temple.

"The damn fly!" Barret was trying to swat a fly that kept buzzing around his ears and eyes.

"Wait," Cloud said, holding up a hand. Everyone stopped walking. "There's someone not far up ahead."

Or at least he thought there was, but his senses were duller than usual, squirming against the stifling heat. Cloud wiped the sweat from his forehead, walked past Red XIII who'd been in the lead. Motioning to the rest of them to be quiet, he crept his way deeper into the forest.

There was a large clearing not far off, where trees had abruptly cut off, and there was someone there – no, two people, Cloud amended, as one suddenly strolled into view (hiding behind a bush, it was a narrow window).

"Rude! Tell me the truth."

Red hair, sticking out in all directions, with a long thin ponytail at the back; Cloud recognized that hair (it was hard not to). Reno. The Turk that Cloud had pushed out of the helicopter once. Looked like he'd recovered now.

Reno was wearing the Turk's uniform, but hadn't bothered to tuck in the shirt, was slouching, leaning forward on the metal rod that he'd stuck to the ground. Cloud recognized the rod as the Electro-Rod that Shinra had been working on before he left.

"Tell me, tell me, tell me! What're you getting so embarrassed about? It was a simple question, man."

Rude, standing across from Reno in an imitation of a statue, would not answer.

"Come on! Uh – Elena?" Reno suggested. Rude shook his head quickly. Reno's mouth dropped open in mock sympathy. "Nooo? Well, then – poor Elena… she… you…"

"No," Rude cleared his throat. "She likes Tseng," he insisted.

"Hey, I never knew that –"

Cloud shook his head to himself. This was one fruitless conversation to listen in, he decided. He started to back away slowly, to find a roundabout way, but about two steps back he stepped on a branch; its crack echoed too loudly in the forest.

"Hey, who's there?" Reno turned around at once, sharp and wary. Cloud couldn't decide what to do for a second, but in any case it was decided for him because now the rest of his group had arrived too, Barret moving too loudly and conspicuously to just sneak away. When Reno saw them, his entire face transformed in a transparent glee. "Oh, you! You really came!"

"Correct me if I'm wrong," Barret said, frowning. "But you actually seem glad."

"Oh, you have no idea," Reno grinned, swinging his rod over his shoulder, the other hand in his pants pocket. "It's been a while, huh? Payback time for what you did in Sector Seven!"

"Sector Seven?" Cloud said. Reno snorted.

"Don't remember, is that it? Now, that's just sad." He dragged his voice, took a step forward. Cloud did remember, but he kept his face blank. Reno shook his head in exaggerated misery.

Then, in a flash, Reno and Rude were both coming at Cloud; Cloud barely had time to reach for his sword, but he had to duck Reno's swinging rod first. It swept over his head (brushing the tip of his hair) faster than he'd expected; faster than it should be, with the weight of the metal and all, but they were the Turks, after all. Cloud managed to evade another swing, but when he twisted sideways, Rude was waiting and he kicked dirt into Cloud's eyes.

"Hey, that's cheating!" He heard Yuffie shout, somewhere distant. Cloud had to close his eyes, eyeballs burning and dizzy and head ringing.

"Well, we're the Turks," Reno said, proudly. "Now if you'll come – ouch!"

Cloud wanted to see what was going on, but his eyes still smarted and there were tears, and all he could do was blink and stumble blindly. And listen; there was a gunshot.

"Bearin' down on one man with two?" Barret roared. "You play dirty."

He heard Rude grumble with pain. There was a kick (Tifa's, Cloud though, judging by the way Reno yelped in surprise), and Reno crashed into the ground, cursing his mouth off.

Cloud finally got the dirt out. He stood up straight and looked at the scene in front of him. Reno was glaring at Tifa, and Rude was helping Reno up; he hadn't been shot, but there was a long stain of dirt all over his side.

"We may be retreating…" Reno said, spitting out dirt. Rude almost got hit by Reno's rod as he swung it violently over his shoulder. "But we're still victorious!"

With that, they scuttled off into the other side of the forest. Cloud didn't even think about going after them.

"It's weird, though," Aerith said thoughtfully, staring at the place where they'd disappeared. "It was like they knew we were coming."

"Yeah, didn't he say – you really came?" Tifa said, brushing off dirt from herself.

"They were definitely waiting for us," Red XIII said.

"I don't like it!" Yuffie decided, huffing. "It's like the whole world knows where we are."

"Did they follow us?" Cloud said, but he hadn't noticed any signs. It was like someone was watching them – from above, beneath, or –

"You don't think there's a spy, do you, Cloud?" Cait Sith squealed. "I hate this. Now everyone's gonna blame me, 'cause I'm new."

Cloud looked at the toy cat. "No," he finally said, feeling leftover tears in the corner of his eyes from the dirt. "I don't."

Or he didn't want to, because he'd almost died for that cat. Red XIII growled softly; Cloud knew that they were all thinking the same thing.

Cloud heard the distant rumble of a helicopter first. There was a ruined Mako reactor not far in front, and the helicopter was headed there; they hid themselves just out of sight. Although long abandoned, the stench of Mako was persistent and still lingered in the air. Cloud tried not to notice it so much.

"Bet they're Turks again," Barret whispered. Two people got off from the helicopter; Tseng, and the woman they'd seen after the meeting in the Shinra building, with her striking blond hair and eye-hurting red dress. Red lipstick in the exact shade. Beside her, Tseng looked like a shadow.

"That woman's called Scarlet," Barret said. "Head of Shinra Weapons Development."

Cloud decided wondered if the dress had come first, or the name. Scarlet was talking now, her voice steady and authoritative like she was used to everyone to following her orders. "This isn't any good either. You only get stinky Materia from stinky reactors."

Tseng didn't say anything. Scarlet turned to him, heels clicking together. "This reactor's a failure. What I'm looking for is a much bigger Materia."

"Hm," Tseng said, looking a little bored. Scarlet wasn't deterred.

"If we had a large Materia… we could forge a better weapon. After all, Rufus is… well, with Hojo gone, our department has been getting a bigger budget." It looked to Cloud like she was trying to be friendly, win him over maybe, but Tseng just looked at her with unnerving, impassive eyes. Scarlet smiled, a tight smile that threatened to crack her lipsticks. "But here we don't have what we're looking for. I guess we have to go now."

"Alright," Tseng said. They got into the helicopter, and with leaf-flattening wind, was gone soon.

"Large Materia? Better weapon?" Barret said, standing up and stretching his back. "Just what is the Shinra up to?"

"No good," Yuffie said promptly, her eyes glowing in an unidentifiable emotion. It looked like excitement, almost.

Further into the woods, there was a signpost. It pointed in two directions, the reactor and a village that didn't seem to have a name. It just read, village, in flailing hand-written letters. They took the left road to the village, and hadn't gone very far when they came across a tiny cemetery. It was pretty, tightly packed graves in all shapes and sizes with a festival of different-colored flowers that looked fresh. An old man and woman were praying in front of one. As pretty as it was, Cloud wanted to get out quickly. Graves were too solemn and humbling, even though he'd never had any graves he could have prayed in front.

But just as they were about to leave, the old man was calling him. "Wait."

Cloud turned around. He watched the man and woman, who were obviously husband and wife, make their slow, stumbling way to him.

"Young man," the man said. "Are you in SOLDIER?"

Cloud had forgotten that he was still wearing the first-class SOLDIER uniform. He hesitated, but eventually said, "I used to be."

The woman gasped at that, a sharp intake of breath. Then she started to say something, but Cloud couldn't hear it properly; it was odd, how he was transfixed on the handkerchief that the lady was clutching in her hands. Light blue, small daisies around the edges, soft lace. It's so girly, he'd said to someone – he was sure – and he thought he even remembered the answer: Well, my mom gave it to me. But who was that? A fellow SOLDIER? He remembered the laughter right underneath his ribs, a carved-in sensation.

"… our son?"

"Sorry?" Cloud took a moment to catch up, blinking at the couple.

"It's just," the woman sighed, that came out close to a sob. "It's been close to ten years since he left for the city, to be a SOLDIER."

The air was dark. The wood was dense and the heat was, too, too many trees surrounding them and blocking the sun. Cloud felt trapped (the old claustrophobia, the one he kept trying to ignore), felt like something was going very wrong. He cleared his throat. "So maybe I know him. What's his name?"

"Zack Fair," the man said, hope in his eyes.

"Oh!" Aerith gasped behind him.

As for Cloud, he didn't know why he heard screaming in his ears, why his hands were slightly shaking. Why he smelled Mako so strongly so far away from the reactor.

"Zack?" He said to himself, testing, feeling a numbing coldness set in, even though they were still sweating. "Zack –" It didn't feel familiar, but bitter. "I don't know anyone named – Zack."

But now Zack's mother was turning to Aerith, desperately, reaching out as if to grab onto her. "Do you know him?"

Aerith couldn't speak. Cloud watched, numb and cold and inexplicably hurt. She was now nodding, swallowing thickly.

"He wrote us about six years ago, said he had a girlfriend. Could it – was it –"

"Probably… I mean, yes. That would've been me – but excuse me, I think I'm just –" Aerith shook her head, looking almost like she felt what Cloud was feeling, and before the couple could say anything, she was hurrying out of the cemetery and soon disappeared behind trees. Cloud braced himself and followed. The screaming. The laughter.

"Aerith?" He called, looking around. She hadn't gotten far; she was standing under a big oak tree, and turned to look at him when he came closer. Cloud searched her face for a sign of tears, but there wasn't any.

"I'm sorry, that was kind of rude, running off like that," she said and smiled, a weary smile that Cloud wasn't used to seeing on Aerith's face.

"I think they'd understand," he said. Then, "So he was your boyfriend?"

"Yeah, SOLDIER first class, same as you. I didn't know he came from this town, though. He rarely talked about the past. It was the present, and the future, for him – always –"

"Yeah," Cloud said, and realized what he'd said. He didn't know this Zack, but it sounded like he was agreeing to what Aerith was saying. She didn't notice anything weird, though.

"You really don't know him?" She asked.

"It's weird," he agreed. "There weren't that many… first class SOLDIERS." He swallowed. His heart thumped loudly in his head as he asked, "What happened to him?"

"He went missing," Aerith said, with a practiced misery. "That's right – he might've gone missing before you joined first class."

"Missing?"

"He went out on a job, and never came back. I waited four years."

Cloud didn't need to say it, because she already knew. Zack's parents probably did, too. A SOLDIER didn't just go missing like that – Shinra would do a full man-search (or a hunt, he added in his head, but didn't know why he did). Zack was probably dead.

When they went back, Zack's parents had left. Tifa explained that Zack's mother was crying so much that her husband had to take her home. Her voice was calm but Cloud knew she was thinking about her own parents.

"I wonder who they were praying for," Red XIII said, as they were walking to the village. "They do not have a grave for their son."

"God?" Yuffie suggested. Barret mumbled something about there not really being a God.

"Or maybe they needed to make one," Cloud said.

"Make one what?" Tifa asked.

"Make a grave, in the end. Just a make-believe one."

"From where?" He has eyes that are at once amused, wild and fierce. Mako glinting in the blue.

"Nibelheim." There is laughter, full-bodied and easy. "How about you?"

"Me?" He says with leftover chuckles, points a thumb towards his chest, proudly. "Gongaga. Hey, what's so funny about that? You know Gongaga?"

"No, but it's such a backwater name."

"Ditto Nibelheim," he says, grins.

Remember?

"You're that voice again. How about telling me who you are?"

All in good time, there is amusement in the voice, much like he'd had. But who was he? Who was the voice? Now, rest.