DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, nor do I own any of the characters or anything else that has to do with Glee. That is all owned by Ryan Murphy and Fox. I make no money from this whatsoever. There is absolutely no copyright infringement intended. Thank you.
NOTES: So, if you've seen the ever so lovely Episode 2x20: Prom Queen, you will have seen the full performance of Puck, Artie and Sam singing "Friday." During this performance, Santana is dancing with Karofsky and you see, as she's dancing, some chick walk by in the exact same dress she is wearing. It's the exact same color and everything. It's surprising how well she takes it. Well, in this fic, she doesn't take it so well, and Kurt doesn't either. You guys, I'm letting you know right now that I know nothing about sewing. I am seriously just making another bad-ass Kurt fic. A lot of you will probably be like "There is no way this would work." Well, in my mind, Kurt is so friggin' awesome, he can do anything. Enjoy!
Seeing Red
Kurt may have been across the room, but he could spot a fashion faux-pas in an instant, and so help him if he wasn't going to fix this utter travesty. There Santana was dancing and having a good time goofing around with Dave Karofsky of all people. Kurt was doing the same with Blaine when Kurt bothered to look up from what he was doing and saw what could possibly be the worst thing to happen to prom since Carrie. Another girl was wearing Santana Lopez's dress. In the words of Sue Sylvester: This. Will. Not. Stand.
Simply put, Kurt could do nothing more than take action. Grabbing on to Blaine's arm he pulled him in the odd couple's direction. Blaine was sputtering, trying to get Kurt to stop pulling him and wondering where exactly it was they were going. Kurt didn't stop to answer his questions. He just kept pulling him closer to the oblivious Dave Karofsky and the stunned furious Santana Lopez.
Dave stopped dancing around once he saw Kurt in his line of vision. He turned just in time to see Kurt let go of Blaine's arm just to grab the Latina's hand and start pulling her into the hallway. Santana didn't stop Kurt as he pulled her swiftly away from the festivities. Blaine and Dave glanced at each other before they, too, wandered after them.
"Where are they going?" asked Dave to Blaine.
Blaine shrugged in response. "This isn't my school. I have no idea."
"Oh." Karofsky commented. "Right."
Kurt didn't respond to the mutterings taking place behind him. He just kept guiding Santana further down the hallway before pushing her through a door. Blaine and Dave stopped as the door closed only to notice it was the women's bathroom. Blaine, who realized that if Kurt could do it then so could he, decided to go inside as well. It's not like he could get suspended. So, Blaine shrugged in Dave's direction and went inside.
Dave gaped at the door for a moment before glancing to his right and then to his left. No one was coming so he went inside, not knowing what to expect. He didn't expect to get blasted as soon as he walked in.
"-BITCH had the audacity to wear the exact same dress as me?! Who does she think she is?! Who is she anyway?! Oh, when I get her name, so help me she will know the wrath that is Santana Lopez."
Kurt nodded calmly. "I know, and that's why I'm here." He walked up to her and extended his hand. "Hand me one of your razor blades."
Santana paused mid bitch-fit. She took a few calming breaths before replying "Excuse me?"
"One of your razor blades." Kurt moved his hand into a "come-on" motion. "You know, the ones you keep in your hair? Let me borrow one."
Santana heaved a put-upon sigh before she moved to touch her perfect hair. Gently pushing aside one of her extensions, she pulled a sharp, shiny razor blade from her hair.
"Holy crap!" Dave exclaimed. The others turned to him. "You weren't kidding when you said you had razor blades in your hair?!"
"No duh, idiot," the cheerleader snarked. She handed the blade to Kurt.
"Come here, Santana."
Santana walked towards Kurt who proceeded to push her up against a stall wall.
"Whoa there, Porcelain." Santana smirked saucily. "I had no idea you could be so forceful."
Kurt invaded her personal space and whispered huskily, "Oh, you have no idea," before lifting the razor blade under the bathroom florescence, letting it shine. After having his Sweeney Todd moment, he brought the blade down in one fell swoop and began cutting away at the fabric on her shoulder.
Santana gasped in outrage. "Hummel! What do you think you're-"
"Shhh." Kurt interrupted the Latina. "Don't talk right now. I'm concentrating."
"I swear, Hummel. This better look good by the time you're through." Santana shook her head and looked to the ceiling, praying for patience.
Kurt didn't even glance up from his work. "Oh Please. You're talking to me here."
They all sat in silence as Kurt worked fastidiously on his newest challenge. The first thing he got rid of was that red rose-like strap. It was the eye catcher of the dress, yes, but it had to be moved. Kurt cut it away from the dress as smoothly as he could and it didn't look half bad without it. He still wanted to use it to accent another part of the dress, preferably Santana's tiny waist, but that's for later. He needs to work on the bottom half first.
"What do you feel about a knee-length prom dress?" Kurt asked without taking his focus away from the gown. He moved to his knees and put his hands up her skirt, feeling around her knees and getting a grasp on what he had to work with.
Being felt-up didn't even faze Santana. "What? You mean like Berry's knee-length frou-frou mess? No. Absolutely not. I don't think-"
Rrrrrriiiiiiiippppppppp!
The boys behind Kurt's back cringed as they looked at Santana's horrified face which was staring down at Kurt. Without looking up, Kurt stated "Don't look at me in that tone of voice. Trust me. I know what I'm doing."
Santana could do nothing more than shake her head in astounded silence.
Taking the bottom part of the gown, Kurt flared it around him on the bathroom floor and estimated the exact measurements. With what he had in mind, he'd need it near perfect. He couldn't mess this up for Santana.
He bent down and started cutting the extra fabric into eighths. Without looking, he called out to Santana's date.
"Dave, I need you to go to the closest classroom and bring me a stapler."
"Better think again, Hummel." Santana snapped. "You are not stapling my dress!"
"This is not up for negotiation! Dave! Stapler! Now!"
Dave left the bathroom to get the stapler as Kurt got up from the floor with the fabric pieces in his hand.
He pointed at Santana and said "I need your dress."
The girl's eyes narrowed. "Excuse me?"
"Take it off." Kurt demanded. "Now."
Santana sighed and turned, presenting her back and the zipper to him. Gently, Kurt set the razor blade and the extra fabric pieces on the countertop to the side of the sink. He then turned back to the frazzled Latina and gently pulled down the zipper, then helped her out of her dress. That's when Karofsky walked back in, stapler in hand.
"Um…what are you doing?" Karofsky was staring at the now near-naked Latina.
"Stripping your date," stated Kurt sardonically. "Surely you don't mind?"
Blaine snorted a laugh as David handed over the stapler grudgingly. Kurt took it and set it by the extra fabric. He took Santana's arm and gently led her to Blaine who took off his jacket and let her wear it so she wouldn't be so cold standing in nothing but lacy red panties and a strapless bra.
Kurt turned back to the dress. He threw half of it over the stall wall and began working on the bottom half of it. The dress was still knee length, rather like a pencil skirt. He just needed to add some accents. Grabbing a piece of fabric and the stapler, Kurt quickly, but carefully, got to work.
Santana cringed at the first snap of the stapler. "I can't look." She turned her head into Dave's clothed shoulder and Dave wrapped his arm around her, staying quiet, not wanting to upset the girl further.
Kurt worked quickly and diligently. It didn't take long for the bottom half to be finished and it may not have been perfect, but it was a lot better than wearing some other girl's dress at prom. Now just to add a little more umph.
"Oh God." Santana choked out while still hiding her face. "How bad is it?"
"It's going great, Santana. It's almost done," replied Blaine reassuringly.
"Just tell me when it's over," she said, sounding pained.
"You got it."
Once Kurt was finished cutting off the loose threads and was able to tell that the extra fabric pieces were at least somewhat even, he moved onto the waist of the dress. Taking the strap that was no more, he straightened it out into one long piece of red fabric and then bunched it strategically, stapling inside the waist of the dress so that the staples didn't bother Santana as she danced. Once he was finished there, he did a once over and was satisfied.
"I don't hear anything happening." Santana observed. "Is it over?"
"Just about," called out Kurt. Checking all sides of the dress, he saw fit to deem his work worthy of her body.
"And done."
Santana turned around once more and looked at her dress. It definitely wasn't her dress any longer. She eyed it warily.
"Well? It's not going to bite, I assure you. Try it on. See if you like it." Kurt handed it out to her.
Santana looked at Kurt before taking a step towards the handicap stall of the bathroom.
"You helped me out of it. It only seems fair that you put me back in."
Kurt smiled and stepped into the stall with her, leaving the boys to look after them.
It didn't take long for them to step back out though.
Santana looked stunning. The sweetheart neckline of the dress made her neck look even longer and the flare of the dress accentuated her hips as well. As the Latina looked at herself in the mirror, Kurt stared at his work in smug wonder. He'd done good.
"Yeah, ok. No need to look so smug." Santana smirked into the mirror at Kurt's reflection. He smiled in response.
"I'm a genius."
"If you do say so yourself," Santana scoffed.
"But I did say so myself, and the best part is you've just had a wardrobe change like Lady Gaga at the Grammy's. You're now officially the coolest prom participant."
Santana laughed softly.
"Twirl for me?" Kurt requested gently.
She obliged and Kurt mock swooned. "You are going to be the envy of every girl out there."
Santana's face turned sarcastic for a moment before she let go and smiled in agreement. "Yeah. It's not every day you get to wear a Kurt Hummel original."
"Well," Kurt shrugged. "I'd hardly call that an original."
"You did good, Kurt. I couldn't have asked for a better dress."
Santana walked up to Kurt and grabbed his shoulders. Slightly pushing up on her toes, she kissed his cheek and whispered "Thank you."
Kurt smiled and grabbed her hand. "Your razor blade, my lady." He handed it back to her and watched as she slipped it back into her hair.
She then turned and grabbed his hand. "I believe I owe you a dance."
Kurt placed his other hand over his heart and bowed. "It would be an honor."
The boy and girl couple made their way out of the bathroom, arm in arm, not paying any attention to the dates they left behind. Blaine and Dave watched the women's bathroom door close behind the couple and looked at each other in bewilderment.
"Did we just get dumped?" the burlier boy asked, eyebrows furrowed.
Blaine nodded with his lips pursed. "It certainly appears that way."
The boys both looked to each other and nodded, making awkward humming noises. They then proceeded to walk out of the women's bathroom, making their way back to the dance. After all, there was still a lot of prom left. Perhaps they might be able to steal their dates back.