The rest of the weekend is fairly uneventful, Kermit is gone when she gets home, Maya doesn't really speak to Katy, and Riley recovers enough to harass her with hourly phone calls about her wellbeing.
"I'm fine." Maya shouts into the phone the fourth time it rings, not even glancing at the screen.
"Wow, good afternoon to you too."
Maya sighs.
"Lucas. Sorry. I thought you were Riley."
He chuckles on the other end.
"Wow. Thanks."
"You know what I mean." Maya mutters, rolling her eyes as she flips through the textbook in front of her.
"Mhmm. So, how are you-"
"Huckleberry, I swear if you ask me how I'm doing I'll hang up."
"I was going to say how are you holding up, actually."
Maya can practically hear him smirking through the phone.
"Great. Terrific. Never been better." She mumbles, eyes catching on a particularly compelling painting in her textbook.
"You going to be okay for our presentation tomorrow?" He asks. She frowns.
"Is that why you called? Yeah, Lucas, I'll be fine. Don't worry." She closes her book in a huff of annoyance.
"Hey, I didn't mean it like that. Look, do you want a ride to school tomorrow?" He sounds tired, like maybe he's been thinking a lot about this too. Maya thinks about it. She usually takes the subway, with Riley. But Riley probably won't be back at school by then.
"Sure." She sighs. "I'll uh, see you tomorrow."
He mutters a goodbye and then he's gone. Maya throws her book on the ground, stretching across the couch. Everyone is treating her like she's delicate, like she's breakable. But that's never been true before. They've always been casual to the point of callousness, making jokes about her life, about her family. And now suddenly, because they're seeing it firsthand, they all feel sorry for her. It's exhausting and not at all what she wanted. Not that she minds the lack of teasing.
She's still on touchy terms with her mother. Maya gets the distinct sense that Shawn wasn't at all happy with Katy's decision to let Kermit hang around, but she also knew he was very careful not to overstep her authority. There's a clinking sound as someone unlocks the door, and then Maya's mother steps into the foyer.
"Maya." She greets her daughter quietly. Ever since the phone call, she's been wary. Maya nods in response.
"There's spaghetti on the stove." Maya tells her. This has become a habit, when Katy works late, Maya cooks. Even when they're fighting. They sit in silence as Katy eats, and finally Maya puts down her book and sighs.
"You alright?" Katy asks, glancing over at her daughter. Maya narrows her eyes.
"How could you think that was a good idea?" She wonders aloud. She doesn't need to elaborate, Katy knows exactly what she's talking about. Her mother rubs her face tiredly.
"I wasn't totally sure it was. I knew it would be a gamble. But Maya…you've always been so hurt that he left. I thought seeing him might help. I was wrong, obviously." She shrugs. She looks exhausted, the dark circles under her eyes standing out. Some kids seem to forget that their parents are only human. Maya has never had that problem.
"You should have been looking out for me. You should have told him to go to hell, that he has no right…" Maya breaks off, getting to her feet. "You should have been there. I needed you." It costs her to admit that, but it's true. She's just kicked one parent out of her life for good, and if she's going to make things work with the other one, she needs to get this out. Katy stares at her.
"I know, baby." Her mother gets up too, wrapping her arms around Maya. "I'm sorry. Although from what I heard, you handled Kermit pretty well on your own."
Maya sighs, letting her arms wind around her mother's tiny frame.
"I shouldn't have had to." She thinks, realizing she said it out loud when Katy pulls back.
"I know. And you won't have to again, I promise. I made a big mistake, letting your father back in. I won't do that again." Her eyes are clear, and firm, and a shade of blue so like Maya's.
"Okay." Maya lets her mother go. "I'm going to bed."
Katy presses a kiss to the top of her head as she goes. Things will be alright. They always are.
The next morning, Maya's wakes up to Wild Horses. It's her ringtone for Lucas, all her friends get a personalized Stones tone. She rolls over, fumbling to answer it without opening her eyes.
"What." She grunts, her words muffled by the pillow she's pressing her face into.
"Hey, get up. I'll be there in fifteen minutes." Lucas tells her, sounding amused.
"What makes you think I'm not?" She asks, even as she leaps out of bed and starts grabbing clothes from her dresser. Damn alarm, she keeps forgetting that the new update on her phone means it won't go off on silent mode.
"Just get dressed, I'll be there soon." He says, before the line goes dead. Maya jogs toward the shower. She'll have to give up breakfast, but she hasn't washed her hair since Saturday. She manages to get dressed, and even throw on a minimal amount of makeup before Lucas gets there. Her hair is still sopping wet, and Lucas shouts when she flips it over her shoulder as she climbs into the truck.
"Hey!" He mutters, brushing droplets of water off his face. She grins.
"Sorry. Didn't have time to blowdry." Just for dramatic effect, and also partially because she knows it will annoy him, she gives her head another shake. He throws his hands up to protect his face from the water flying everywhere.
"Maya!" He mutters, glaring. She shrugs, then sits back in her seat as he starts the car.
"Just in case you didn't have time to shower, Ranger Rick." She says sweetly.
"Well, thanks." He says sarcastically. "But I'm good." He's telling the truth, she can tell because he smells like he always does after gym class, like that body wash that's a mixture of pine and spice and something else inherently male. She likes it, not that she'd ever admit to that.
The rest of the ride is filled with squabbling, which escalates when he makes a remark about her poor judgement and she gets so annoyed she rings her hair out over his lap.
"It looks like I pissed myself!" He hisses, dragging her through the parking lot. It does, and she's actually starting to feel bad, because she hadn't entirely thought this through.
"There are hair dryers in the girls locker room." She tells him. He looks at her like she's insane.
"Okay."
"That I can use to dry your jeans…" She draws her words out slowly, exaggerating them, because he seems to be a little out of it this morning. He rolls his eyes.
"How am I supposed to get into the girls locker room?" He asks, pulling out his phone to check the time. Class starts in fifteen minutes. Maya glances at his crotch, the wet spot alarmingly visible on his lighter blue jeans.
"You're not. Give me your pants, and I'll dry them for you." She holds out her hands expectantly.
"What?" Lucas asks, staring at her. "Here?"
She raises an eyebrow.
"Sure. Or you could go change into your gym shorts first." She says with a shrug. He stalks away, casting an irritated glance over his shoulder. She snickers, following him toward the gym. He emerges a minute later, holding out his jeans. She pats him on the head before disappearing into the girls locker room. There are a few hair dryers in a basket by the mirror, and she grabs one, turning it on and pointing it at the offending wet spot.
"Well, well." A voice floats in behind Maya, and she grimaces. Just what she needs.
"Missy." She sighs. The brunette smiles, walking over to see what Maya's doing.
"Those look a little big for you." Missy points out.
"No," Maya mutters, "really?"
Missy's eyes travel down the length of the pants, settling on the knee that's almost entirely torn out. Maya remembers when it happened, during an intramural game of football. From the look on Missy's face, so does she.
"These are Lucas's jeans." She says, raising an eyebrow. Maya shrugs. "Why would you have these?"
"They got wet, I said I would dry them for him." Maya says, sending Missy a patronizing smile. They've never gotten along, and Maya can sense when Missy is trying to stir up trouble. Like, for instance, right now.
"They got wet, huh?" Missy asks, eyes sparkling. "You know, I wonder how Riley would feel about that?"
"Wait-" Maya says, realizing what's happening. "No, Missy-"
But it's too late. The brunette is gone, leaving Maya with a dry pair of blue jeans and a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.
She hands the pants to Lucas as she emerges from the locker room, glancing around.
"Thanks." He takes the pants, sneaking another look at the time. They've still got five minutes before class.
"Sure." She says distractedly. "Hey did Missy say anything to you when she came out?"
Lucas stops halfway through the door of his own changing room.
"Uh, yeah actually. She said 'Charlie owes me fifty bucks' and gave me a high five. Why? Do you know what that was about?" He looks at her curiously.
She bites her lip, debating whether to tell him. But they're almost out of time and she doesn't want to be late for their presentation.
"Later." She says, waving him toward the changing room. "We're going to be late."
Their presentation goes off surprisingly well, even Mr. Matthews looks a little shocked at how much effort they put into it.
"I've got to be honest." He says, scribbling a few more notes on their grading rubric. "I didn't think you would find anything for that last battle. There are only two books in the library that mention it."
Maya's halfway to her feet when she feels Lucas hook his arm around her waist.
"Simmer down, Shortstack." He whispers in her ear. She shivers, and hopes he doesn't notice. Cory hands her their grade, and she stares at it in shock. She flips it over when she catches Farkle sneaking a look.
"What did we get?" Lucas asks. Maya carefully passes him the slip of paper.
"Hey!" He lets out a happy exclamation as he scans the page. Suddenly he's pulling her into a celebratory hug from behind, his arms wrapping around her front and pulling her against him. Her back is pressed against his stomach, and she tries to ignore the way her heart flutters when he squeezes her against him. She's happy too, she's never gotten an A before. And more than that, this project was worth forty percent of their grade. Which means at the least, Maya will get a B-. And if she does well on the final she could very well get an A-.
Cory gives them a look to settle down, and they both sink back into their seats.
"So." Farkle leans over, wiggling his eyebrows at Maya. "What did you get?" It shouldn't be a competition, not since Maya knows Farkle must have gotten an A as well. But she shrugs, making a zipping gesture across her lips. Farkle leans back in his seat with a huff.
"Are we not telling them?" Lucas asks, surprised. Maya turns as much as she can without attracting Mr. Matthews' attention.
"I thought maybe this could just be between us for a while." She whispers back. "Besides, it will drive Farkle crazy not knowing what we got."
Lucas smirks at that. He's usually partnered with Farkle, so he knows their friend's competitive nature all too well.
"Alright."
The rest of class passes in a blur, partially because a lot of the other presentations are terrible, and partially because Maya slips into her usual half-sleep state sometime during Yogi's powerpoint about the civil war.
Their next class is English, which Maya and Lucas have together, but Zay and Farkle head off to Spanish. They've never exactly gotten assigned seats, but they've been sitting in the same spots since the first day. Which is why it takes Maya by surprise when Ana DeSilva sits next to her, in the spot that's usually Riley's.
"Um." Maya says, after about thirty seconds of feeling Ana staring straight through her. She turns to face the other girl, eyebrow raised. "Hi?" Ana smiles at her.
"So, is it true?" She asks. Maya blinks.
"Is what true?"
"You and Lucas…" Ana says, eyes flitting between Maya and him. "You're finally together?"
Lucas makes a kind of strangled noise behind them, but Maya just frowns at Ana.
"Did you hear that from Missy?"
Ana nods. Maya groans in annoyance, knowing that with Missy's penchant for gossip it could be halfway across the school by now.
"Well it's not true. And you can go ahead and tell everyone, including Missy." Ana looks almost disappointed, but nods before sliding back into her regular seat. Maya swivels in her chair, turning to face Lucas.
He's staring at her.
"What the hell happened in that locker room?" He asks. Maya throws her hands in the air.
"You know Missy…she's not exactly known for checking her facts, Huckleberry."
He continues to stare at her, suspicious creeping over his chiseled features.
"Mhmm." He crosses his arms over his chest, waiting. Maya sighs.
"Okay, I may have said something about getting your pants wet and how I needed to dry them." She admits, frowning back at him. It might seem stupid, but she doesn't want Riley coming back to school and hearing the rumour. She'd been freaked out enough about Maya staying at Lucas's.
She watches him now, and the expression on his face turns incredulous.
"Really? You didn't realize how that sounds?" He mutters. She sticks her tongue out at him.
"No. It just never occurred to me that people could think we would ever, you know…" She makes a vague gesture, and his eyebrows shoot upwards.
"Because it's so crazy?" He asks. She nods.
"Exactly." Even though for some reason it doesn't sound quite so crazy anymore. Not when he smells good, and he's grown into someone she's beginning to realize she trusts almost as much as the girl she's loved since she was eight. He's not the same Lucas she looked down on in eighth grade. His eyes seem to go two shades darker, and she realizes she's staring. She clears her throat and turns her gaze back to the front of the class.
He says something behind her, something that sounds suspiciously like 'is it?', but she ignores it and pretends to pay attention to Harper's lesson.
This class doesn't go by as quickly, Maya can practically feel his breath on her neck and more than once she thinks she feels a tug on her hair. Harper is talking about Romeo and Juliet, and it's so cliché Maya could laugh.
One of the other girls in class makes a swooning noise. Harper turns on her in amusement.
"Did you have something to add, Jenny?" Harper asks, raising an eyebrow.
"It's just so romantic." Jenny says, grinning. Maya can't help herself, she lets out a snort.
Harper, Jenny, and the rest of the class all swivel to look at her.
"Maya?" Harper asks. She feels herself flush. This is one of the class readings Maya has actually done, and she found it anything but romantic.
"It's just really not. It was tragic, sure, but romantic? What's so romantic about a bunch of teenagers killing themselves because of…bad communication?" She shakes her head. "I mean really? They all die for no good reason. It seemed pretty messed up to me." She feels another tug, this time harder, on a strand of her hair. She half expects Harper to yell at her, but instead the older woman is smiling.
"Hmm. Interesting." She says, then moves on. When the next tug on her hair comes, Maya spins around in her seat.
"Knock it off." She hisses. Lucas looks surprised, his fingers still closed around a strand of her hair. He drops it.
"Sorry." It's almost like he hadn't realized he was doing it. She turns back around. "That was kind of cynical." He points out, his voice a half-whisper. She sighs.
"Cynical is my middle name, Huckleberry."
She feels another tug on her hair and whips around, livid.
Lucas looks more serious than she's seen him all day.
"What?" She asks.
"How come you still call me that?" He wonders. Maya blinks.
"Huckleberry?"
He nods. She traces the name someone carved into the top of his desk while she thinks.
"I don't know. Sometimes things just stick. Like the running joke on how awful my life is." She finally says with a shrug. His expression turns pained, and she almost regrets saying it.
"We don't-"
"You do." She mutters, barely containing the resentment in her voice. She loves her friends, but that joke got old years ago. She's Maya, and she's tough, so she never complained about it. But everyone has their sore spots, and this is a bruise that's never had a chance to heal. Lucas lets go of her hair, and his hand moves as if to grab hers. It stops, barely an inch away.
"I'm sorry." He says, eyes wide. "I should have known better. You're not always as tough as you seem."
She almost spits at that.
"Just because I don't like being reminded that my dad left, and my mom is broke, and I grew up half on the streets doesn't mean I'm sensitive, Lucas." She can't believe he would try to turn this on her.
"No, I didn't mean it like that." He shakes his head, eyes almost pleading. "I'm sorry. You're one of the toughest people I know." He admits. Maya narrows her eyes at him, evaluating. Eventually, she decides to let it go.
"Mhmm." She mumbles, turning back around.
When school is over, Lucas offers to drive her home. She could get used to this, but she probably shouldn't. Riley will be back soon and this will all go back to normal.
No more one-on-one time with Lucas she thinks. But that's a dangerous line of thought. He's Riley's, and even when he's not he still is. Maya would never even glance over that line. Some things are more important. But she can't deny that she'll miss this, the easy banter and the way she's always laughing, either with him or at him. When he'd closed a hand around her wrist that morning to drag her through the parking lot she had pretended not to like the way it felt. Riley gets upset when he gets angry, acts like she's afraid of him. Ironically, that's one of the things they fight the most about. Maya doesn't mind "Texas Lucas", as Riley calls him, because she knows what it's like to struggle to keep that darkness inside. Besides, he would never hurt Riley. Maya's never questioned that, never doubts him for a moment. She thinks maybe Riley is more afraid that Lucas will hurt his reputation than an actual person.
She looks over at him now, watches as he taps his fingers against the steering wheel to the beat of something that sounds like The Clash. After a couple blocks, he looks over at her.
"What?"
"Let's get pizza." It's the first thing she can think of that doesn't involve how much she likes just looking at him. He stares at her.
"Lunch was like, two hours ago." He reminds her, but he's already making the turn toward their favorite pizza joint. She actually does want pizza, so she rubs her hands together.
"You know," she says, mouth full of the house special, "I could get used to having a chauffeur."
He chews silently, rolling his eyes.
"As soon as Riley's feeling better you'll forget all about me and Blue." He says after swallowing.
"HA!" Maya points at him. He almost spits out his drink in surprise.
"Wha-"
"I knew you call her Blue." She says with a smirk. It takes a second for Lucas to clue in, but when he does he fishes an ice cube out of his cup and throws it at her.
"You know you're insane, right?" He asks, dodging the piece of mushroom that goes sailing by his ear.
"I do." She replies happily, taking another bite of pizza. He glances over his glass at her, face lit up with something like affection. It sends a short of warmth through her chest, which she immediately suppresses. Maybe getting pizza wasn't such a good idea.
"You know you can call me though, right?" Lucas prompts. "If it's late and you need a ride?"
She flings another topping at him, this time a piece of black olive.
"Look, I've been taking the subway since way before you showed up." She reminds him. "I haven't died yet." That doesn't seem to reassure him, he falls quiet, sipping on his Coke and staring at his plate.
Eventually he looks up, decision in his eyes.
"I got into Cornell. Early admission." He says, and the sound around them seems to fall away.
"You…" She stares at him. "I thought you were going to go to University of California? Riley's pretty much accepted her spot at Cal State."
It's another sore spot, something that hurts more than her past. Farkle's going to MIT, Riley and Lucas are going to California, and Maya's going wherever she gets accepted. Her grades have improved over the years, but she isn't a straight A student like the others, and her choices are limited. Plus, she isn't sure she has the funds to go to school out of State. Cornell is one of the ones she applied to, local enough, but not too close to her Mother. Whether she gets in is another thing.
Lucas clears his throat and stirs what's left of the ice in the bottom of his glass.
"I know, but…Cornell has a really good program for Veterinary sciences. And I know Cal State has an amazing Performing Arts department, and I would never ask Riley to change schools for me." He shifts in his seat. "Besides, we aren't together anymore."
Maya makes a noise of disbelief.
"Yeah, but you'll be back together by then. That's still months away."
He avoids her eyes.
"…right?" She asks, suddenly alert to the point of edginess. He shrugs.
"I don't know. I think…maybe this is it." He doesn't sound sad, just tired. Maya stares at him. She remembers when Riley called her a few months ago, dropping the news that her and Lucas had broken up again. They had a routine at this point, Maya would bring over ice cream and scary movies, and would agree with everything Riley said until her friend fell asleep in a mess of chocolate syrup and smudged mascara. And they'd done that this time too, but there had been no tears, and the sadness in her eyes had been a little more like resignation than anything else.
Still, they're Riley and Lucas. They've been together since Junior High. Maya tells him so.
"I'm just Lucas." He says, shaking his head. "Riley and me, we don't make sense the way we used to." This conversation feels wrong, like talking behind her back. It's Maya's turn to be uncomfortable.
"Have you guys talked about it, since…" Since the breakup. Since that night at the party. Since things started to change between Maya and him. He gives her a knowing smile.
"Sort of. She knows I applied to Cornell. You know Riley, she just wants everyone to be happy."
It's true. That's probably why it feels so strange talking about her, as if she weren't the thread that brought Maya and Lucas together in the first place. But is that even true?
"Do you remember when we first met?" Maya asks, cocking her head. His grin widens.
"Of course, on the subway. Shortest relationship I've ever had." He says, smirking. Maya can't help but smile back. It's true. She met him first. But she'd only done it to prove a point to Riley.
"Do you ever think…" She can't bring herself to finish that sentence. It ends something like 'about what would have happened if I hadn't pushed Riley into your lap'. And that's somewhere in the territory that's been off-limits from the very first day. So she just trails off and stares pointedly at the napkin in her hands.
He sees to sense her discomfort, and changes the topic.
"So," Lucas flags over the waiter, and starts digging for his wallet. "What about you? Where did you apply?" Maya notices that he carefully avoids asking where she's going. She doesn't know if she can even afford school at all. It depends on scholarships, and her mother, and a million other things that she doesn't want to talk about.
"Parsons, Rhode Island, Pratt…" She carefully avoids his eyes. "…Cornell."
But she sees him stiffen out of the corner of her gaze.
"Huh." He says, almost too casual.
"And a bunch of local colleges." She shrugs, because she knows that's most likely where she'll end up, but it's not MIT or Harvard or any of the other schools her friends would have applied to and she hates how that feels. Hates that it embarrasses her.
"So you and Riles will probably go off to the West Coast and I'll be living in Queens, rooming with some guy named Slapstick and a certificate for beauty school." She sighs. She thought making light of it would help, but it doesn't.
"I doubt that." He muses. "You'll figure something out." He says it with such confidence that it shakes her. She's used to pity and patronizing. It's almost strange to have someone believe in her.
I want Maya to be happy. He'd said that once, a million years ago. She realizes it's still true.
"Hmm." She says.
"Who knows, maybe we'll even end up at Cornell together."
Maya stares at him, because even Lucas at his most optimistic couldn't think she would actually get in to Cornell. It was a pipedream, a waste of the eighty dollars she'd paid to apply. She slaps a ten and change down on the table, and he does the same.
The car ride is silent, Maya deep in thought about her future. It's so close she can almost taste it, but it's still a blur, still so unclear. Clearly admissions are starting to come in, and she knows the top students get their letters first, so the bundle of rejection is somewhere on it's way. She groans, flipping her hair over her face. Lucas snorts.
"What are you doing?"
"Hiding from my future." She informs him. He pulls up in front of her building, sighing.
"Just…don't write it off yet." He says, and she peeks through the curtain of her hair at his serious face.
"Alright." She mutters. "Thanks for the ride." She exits the truck with a salute, and she can practically hear him rolling his eyes as he drives away. She wants to humor him, but nothing short of a miracle would get her into Cornell. It's one of the best Fine Arts programs in the country.