Chapter 17: Stressed Out

A/N: Okay guys. I'm not going to move on with the story at this moment (BOOOOOOO) but I've got a good reason! I felt like Law was a bit too insensitive in chapter 16 (Maybe bc i wrote it too fast) soooo to make up for it I'm going to give you a full insider look at his brain. I feel as if Law would be internalizing all of his emotions through the entire ordeal so that's how I wrote him. There won't be much dialog though. So here's a little bonus chapter~ I hope you like it!

From the moment Sanji told him Luffy had been hit to the moment he saw the EMT's rush him in on a stretcher, Law was numb. He'd never felt numb before. Not since his family died. His mind flashed back to the day Cora died and tried to look for any connection to this emotion and the ones he felt back then but he couldn't match any. The ones he felt then were more like agony. He refused to let this situation lead him to feel like that again. Luffy would be okay. Luffy would not die. He couldn't afford to lose him.

However, the thought kept creeping back up in his subconscious. Whispering into his mind, 'it would be so easy for him to die. He was hit by a car wasn't he? You've seen people die from much less. He was hit full on.' no.

If Law thought like that he'd lose all hope in mere minutes. So instead he tried to put up the block he used while operating on patients. When he operated, there was always a chance that something could go wrong. He couldn't afford to think about that though. He had to focus on the task at hand and try to prevent that. If he allowed himself to be bothered by thoughts he would certainly lose the patient.

So he put up a block. And the numbness was gone for a while.

After learning that the ambulance was going to take him to the hospital, Law left the parking garage and ran up to the entrance. He grabbed his coat and slid his arms back through it before rushing out and trying to find Shachi or Penguin. When he did he explained the situation and the two split, one going to the head of the hospital to explain the situation, and one going to make sure he was put on Luffy's case. Law didn't care which one did what, all he cared about was getting downstairs to the ER.

"What's the extent of his injuries?" One of the ER doctors, Kureha, asked as she walked up. She and Law weren't friends, more like acquaintances, but they'd talked a few times. The old bat was crazy in Law's opinion but she ran the ER well.

"Unconscious, severe bleeding, several broken ribs, trauma to the head, and possibly a broken arm and leg." The nurse beside Law listed off all the EMT's had radioed in on the way. Law felt nauseous.

"Poor kid." Kureha muttered before realizing Law was there. "Trafalgar. What are you doing down here?"

"He's my boyfriend." Law said, his heart racing as he waited for the gurney to come his way so he could follow. He didn't want to talk to her. He wanted to wake up from this bad dream.

"Don't look to concerned, do you?" She smirked. She had taken it upon herself to try and screw with his strict no emotions at work rule. She's the one who referred Dempsy to him and look where that got him. Weekly visits to chat.

"Trust me I'm a different person inside." He glared at her. How dare she even assume for a moment he wasn't concerned. It was then that Luffy's stretcher was brought past them and he immediately went after them, Kureha and the nurse following.

"Alright let's get him stable!" The ER doctor said as they entered the room. A whole team of nurses and doctors rushed about, each person dealing with one problem.

And he had many problems.

When Law finally got a full look at him he numbed again. He'd seen patients family become paralyzed upright before but he'd always written it off as weakness. But now he understood. Seeing someone he loved in an awful state numbed not just your body but your entire being. Luffy was worse than how the nurse described him. So worse. Oh god.

He was bloody and mangled looking. The bandages the EMT's had used were already blood soaked and his right arm and led leg were bent in unnatural positions, even for him. His forehead had a big cut on it and his hair, normally fluffy and unkempt, was slicked back with his blood. Someone had a hand pump strapped to his mouth and they carefully timed each pump to keep him breathing right until they stopped the major issues.

"How hard was this kid hit?" One of the doctors asked as he bandaged one of the places the skin had been scraped off. "He looks like someone put him through a meat grinder!"

"Pretty bad! Apparently when the car hit him, it rolled over and both he and the car went up onto the steps to the building. His brother and friends were right behind the ambulance so someone should go get a report or at least console them." A nurse responded back.

Kureha looked over to Law and frowned. He looked like a toy with low batteries. She previously thought having Law show emotion would be better but now it just made her feel awful. She called his name but it wasn't until someone shook his shoulder that he finally turned to look at her, his eyes sort of glazed over with mild unconsciousness. "Why don't you go get to his brother?" She nodded towards the door. "We got this. Don't worry your pretty little head." He nodded slowly and proceeded out.

Luffy. Luffy. Luffy. Luffy.

He somehow made it to the waiting room, his coat catching on the doorknob and ripping a bit before he realized it. When Ace saw him he stopped harassing the staff and moved to harass him. The ER staff moved to stop him before Law held up a hand.

He took a deep breath and straightened up. He couldn't let Ace see him like this. He was a doctor. He was supposed to be professional. He was supposed to swallow the emotions. When Ace reached him Law was bombarded with questions he couldn't answer.

Law didn't know how to deal with him or his questions. Would his brother be okay? He didn't know. What was his condition? Pretty fuckin bad. When could they see him? Not anytime soon that's for sure.

It was Zoro who saved him in the end. "Ace. Let him breathe." He said. Ace stepped back and nodded, wringing his hands with anxious energy. Law mentally thanked whatever god had sent Zoro to them.

Law opened his mouth to say something but he couldn't find words. He motioned for the three to come back with him and led them through the office areas until they came to a hallway with an elevator. "We're going up to my office and I'll keep Penguin on notice when they move him. Right now I just need you to tell me what happened." He explained. That's all he could think about to say.

"Law." Sanji said before he went into the office. "You don't have to close yourself off for us. You're just as capable of breaking down as we are. You do not have to hide it from everyone else."

Law pursed his lips and shook his head. "I can't." Sanji just nodded and continued into the office. The rest of the group trickled in quickly after hearing the news. At some point, Law had reminded Ace that their parents and Sabo needed to know what was going on. They were unable to make it until they got back from being out of town. They would be there sometime late in the night. Law was somewhat content with that answer seeing as his office was crowded as it was.

When Shachi arrived back in the room to get Ace and himself, he felt dread build up inside him and threat to pour over like rising waters in a dam. He didn't want the dam to burst. If it did, all of his efforts to stay the strong calm one would all be for naught. When he heard that Luffy was in a stable condition the flood danger subsided. It was as if the forty days and forty nights of rain had stopped just in time.

Seeing Luffy made him feel both better and worse. He was glad that he didn't look as he did earlier on in the day but seeing him hooked up to monitors and IV's weren't comforting. At least there wasn't anyone pumping air into his lungs or unnaturally bent arms anymore. He hoped that Luffy would wake up soon.

He quietly watched each group member come in and visit Luffy one at a time seeing the way each friend acted around him. All were exceptionally tearful. But still, Law kept face. Not even when Rouge got to her knees and held Luffy's hand and cried later that night did he break.

But when he broke he broke hard.

It was around four in the morning when he determined he was alone. He stood from his spot on the chair and walked over to him. He watched Luffy breathe, his heart beating on the monitor beside the bed. He saw the bandages and the tubes.

He saw Luffy alive.

When he realized this he sunk to his knees and leaned his head into the mattress. "What if you had died, you dumbass." He said quietly. "You shouldn't be alive right now, not with the injuries you had. You would have died before I had a chance to apologise." Tears threatened to spill over onto his face. "But I'm so glad you are. Luffy, I'm so glad you're alive."

At this point he was full on sobbing. Something he hadn't done in a long time. He felt childish and stupid. But it felt good all at the same time. Crying, he realized, had a calming affect. It released anxiety and stress. It helped him cope.

After relieving the stress of the last forty-eight hours, he stood back up and straightened himself out before returning to his chair and waiting for Luffy to wake.

When he did though, oh when he did, it was glorious. Luffy was awake! Luffy was speaking! He'd waited so long for that, to hear his stupid voice again. He never wanted to go without it again.

But one thing he never wanted to hear that voice say….

"Why can't I move my legs?"

No.