So, um, yeah. This chapter is exactly what you think it's going to be. And you're going to read it and snort and think Wow, Cora, Not Very Original – but hopefully you'll be distracted enough to not mind too much.

This chapter is lovingly dedicated to Cartographical, who has been phenomenal as she patiently looks through these rambling incoherent chapters and makes them into some sort of sense.

Warning: there is an f-bomb in this chapter. Young innocents, close thine ears/eyes/whatever.

Chapter 9: 2x05, When the Bough Breaks

To the extraordinary KB and all my friends at the 12th.

"You know what? Just as well. Because there wasn't enough to the character of Nikki Heat for more than one novel anyway."

"Oh, there's plenty to the character. She just needs a better writer."

His face twists in frustration, and he looks like he's about to snap something back at her when Kate suddenly feels a vise-like hand grab her arm. It's Castle's publicist, all severe pulled-back hair and pursed lips, whose other hand has a deathgrip on Castle's arm. And she does not look happy with them. "OK, what the hell is wrong here?"

"Nothing, Paula," Castle hisses, shooting Kate a furious look. She has to bite back a venomous retort. She is pissed at him right now.

"Yeah, well this 'nothing' is getting loud and attracting attention," Paula shoots back with a glare. "And I will not have Richard Castle in a catfight with Nikki Heat at his own damn party."

"We weren't – "

"I am not Ni- "

"Save it!" Before they can protest, Paula's dragging them out with a ferociously strong grip, flashing gracious fake smiles to other partygoers before pulling them out the side door and into the hallway. She gives them a surprisingly powerful shove, and they stumble in through the back door of an empty coatroom. "And don't come back until you've stopped acting like idiot children."

The door slams shut behind her and Kate glares at Castle. "Thanks a lot."

"What did I do?"

"You got us put in a timeout!"

"I wasn't the one who started yelling!"

"I wasn't yelling!"

"You're yelling now!"

"God, Castle, you are such a child!"she hisses, hands on her hips. "Just because you're angry I don't want you tagging along after me like some toddler I have to babysit – "

"Sorry I've wasted so much of your valuable time, Detective," he shoots back. "I'm surprised you deigned to show up tonight, since I'm clearly such a pain."

"I didn't realize you were going to throw a tantrum in the middle of your own party!"

She grits her teeth, narrows her eyes, and he's opening his mouth to say something else inane and infuriating and idiotic and who the hell does he think he is? – and she finally snaps. She is so very donelistening to his constant stream of nonsense. "Just shut the hell up, Castle! I don't want to hear it!"

"Well, isn't that too bad?" he growls, taking a step towards her, fists clenched. Kate's tall but Castle's taller. He's a big man, imposing, and she grits her teeth because how dare he try to use his height to intimidate her?

"Don't try to scare me, Richard Castle," she hisses, standing her ground, refusing to let him bully her. They're toe to toe, glaring, so close together she can feel the heat of his body, the rush of his hot breath on her face, the tension rolling off him in waves, taut and dizzying.

"Don't tell me what to do!"

Her heart is pounding, anger coiled tightly in her chest, buzzing in her skin, setting her veins on fire. She is furious and she wants to slap that look right off his face, because he looks so damn delicious tonight but he is driving her absolutely up a wall. And even as they're spitting vemon at each other, he is blatantly undressing her with his eyes, his gaze raking over her covetously, lingering at her chest, and the involuntary shot of lust that floods her body mingles with the hot anger. And she is so pissed off at this irritating manchild but she is so fucking turned on right now and he's right there and he just looks so incredibly hungry and sexy and he smells so good and she just can't stand the sound of his whining voice anymore so she finally just yanks him forward by the lapels and kisses him soundly on the lips.

By the time she realizes what she's done, it's too late, because his arms are around her and he's pushing her up against the wall. She tries to speak, to breathe, but his tongue slides easily past her lips, sweeping a hot, wet line through her mouth, curling over the ridge at the top of her mouth as she lets out a strangled moan. Shit.

His body presses harder into hers, the long line of him up against her softer curves, and his hands are greedy, hot, pulling her roughly against him. She slips her arms around his neck, burying her hands in his hair (God, how long has she wanted to do that?) as he devours her mouth. He grabs her thigh, his hand sliding up under her short, tight skirt, making her gasp into his mouth, and then he slides a knee between her legs, pulling her closer, until he hits her in just the right spot and her hips rock forward, pressing her against him harder.

"Shit – shit, Kate – " he groans against her lips before his mouth ends up on her neck, and she clutches weakly at his shoulders as he sucks lightly at her skin, his tongue swirling over the pulse thrumming at the base of her throat. Her back arches and she groans, letting him tug her thigh, hooking her knee around his leg to press herself more tightly against him. She rocks blindly against him, the friction hitting her in just the right spot, sending a shot of desire through her bloodstream and she can't hold back the helpless moan that escapes her lips. His reaction is powerful, visceral, a low growl that rumbles through his chest, in the back of his throat, a delicious tremor that resonates in her body.

She shivers. "Castle – Castle– "

He hums, low, guttural against her throat. She slides her hand through his hair, swallowing as his hands start wandering, tracing lightly over her stomach, skimming over the swell of her breasts, trailing an agonizingly slow line over the bare skin from her throat straight down, his touch so light and teasing it's almost painful. She lets out a soft noise, something between moaning and begging. She wants more. So much more.

"You wore this dress to drive me crazy, didn't you?" he hisses, biting gently at her earlobe. "You tease. You damn tease."

She tries to find a response, but he rocks his lower body into hers and her mouth falls open in a soundless gasp, smothered by his desperate lips and tongue as he kisses her, hard, demanding, a little rough –

"Is someone in there?"

The unexpected knock and strident voice shatter the frenzied moment. They both freeze, staring guiltily at the coatroom door. Kate holds her breath, wondering if some well-meaning waiter or concierge heard something, suspects, is going to come in and find them eagerly groping each other like horny teenagers.

Apparently their silence is enough; there's a pause, and then she hears footsteps walking away, back in the direction of the main lobby.

Kate slumps against the wall, her head falling back, her leg sliding back, her foot hitting the floor with a thud that makes her shake. "Oh. Oh God."

Castle blinks, his mouth falling open, and her stomach flutters as she realizes he's staring at her lips. Staring at them. His head is slightly tilted to the side. Like he wants to go for round two. Her heart does a flip.

"Kate – "

She shuts her eyes, shakes her head helplessly. "God. We did not– "

"Uh. Yeah, we did."

Her eyes flicker open to find him watching her, his eyes bright with an intensity she's not used to seeing from him. "Castle – "

"I think you can call me 'Rick' now, Kate. Seeing as your tongue was just exercising a very enthusiastic search warrant in my mouth."

"Castle!"

"Well, it was worth a try," he shrugs.

He looks nonchalant, but there's a sparkle in his eyes, a little levity. Kate feels a great rush of air coming back to her lungs, the ridiculous urge to laugh bubbling up uncontrollably. Seriously. What the hell.

She covers her mouth with her hand, but can't stop herself.

"I'm sorry – it's just – it's just so ridiculous – " If you'd told me five years ago I'd grab Rick Castle in a coatroom and suck his tongue down my throat –

"Yeah." He thinks for a moment. "Well – is it? Really?"

She swallows. Because she thinks she might know what he means. "What are you talking about?"

He shoots her a baleful look. "Kate. Come on. I've never really been subtle."

She blushes, glances away. It's true. In fact, he's been remarkably straightforward. Ever since the day she dragged him out of his last book launch party.

"Can we just acknowledge that this didn't happen by accident?"

Kate sighs, letting her head rest against the wall. She can't look at him right now. Because that earnest look, with those big blue eyes, that boyish face, the hair she's mussed up, the mouth she just really, really wants to keep kissing into silence until she's forgotten why they came in here in the first place - it's all too much. She can't win. She wants him. She really, really wants him.

She's got it bad.

"Kate, look. I'm sorry I just dropped this Bond deal on you. It really took me by surprise."

She shrugs, trying to play it cool. "It was kind of a shock."

"Don't get me wrong. I've loved Bond since I was a kid. Especially since I've long believed Sean Connery might be my real father." That makes her laugh, roll her eyes. You wish, Castle. "But I'm torn. I've really invested in Nikki Heat."

"Invested what? The espresso machine?"

He beams at her, seeing that she's willing to match his wit right now. "That. Time. Personal connection. Emotional involvement."

The warmth in his eyes makes her blush, because she can't pretend she doesn't know he's invested all these things in her.

His smile widens. "And a fair amount of saliva just now, too."

"Castle!"

She slaps his arm, but it's halfhearted at best. And she can't really bring herself to protest when he catches her hand, his thumb sliding over the delicate lines of her wrist. She bites her lip, momentarily trying to fight the sudden wash of heat that floods her body at his touch, but his eyes fall to her mouth and she can feel her body relaxing, molding against his, and she knows it's a lost cause.

And honestly, after finding out just what those lips of his can do – she's not entirely against it.

He flashes her a wicked grin. "You know, the human mouth does carry a number of dangerous bacteria. I would consider it only charitable to examine yours on a regular basis. Just to make sure you're safe."

Her lips curve upward. Of course. Only Castle. "How very noble. I assume you'll want to be the only one with access?"

"I certainly wouldn't want to put anyone else in danger," he assures her solemnly. "My safety checks would be frequent. And extremely thorough."

"Would they, now?"

"Germs are very, very dangerous, Detective. I'd like to take another look right now, if you're not otherwise occupied. Maybe check to make sure they haven't spread to other parts of your body as well."

She bites her lip, but can't stop the smile from blossoming as she slips her arms around his neck again, letting him push her gently until her back hits the wall again, his chest pressing against hers, warm and flush and way, way too good. "My hero."

They manage to slip back into the party room without being too obvious about it, glancing around surreptitiously. Kate's on edge, but no one in the party seems to notice as Castle holds the door for her, a gentle hand on her back, skimming lightly over her bare spine. She bites her lip.

"You two get everything sorted out?"

Kate flinches. Paula is standing right beside them, arms folded, swirling a martini in one hand. The woman is like a hawk. Has she been standing here waiting for them?

"We're fine, Paula," Castle assures her smoothly. "We just needed to talk it out. Sorry we caused a scene."

"Okay. Good." Paula seems satisfied. "No reason we can't all be adults."

"Right." Kate takes a long breath. They were being adults. Very enthusiastic, consenting adults.

"Very reasonable," Castle chimes in, his hand hovering at her elbow. Reasonable is one way to put it. The dumbstruck young bellhop who walked in on them a minute ago would probably use a different term. He didn't actually say anything, though; he mostly just stared at Castle's hand up her skirt.

"Fine." Paula nods. "Rick, you should probably circulate some more. Guy from the Ledgerwill probably want a quote. There are still a few bimbos who want their chests signed. And you should probably say hello to Clancy before he leaves."

"Gotcha."

"Good. Now wipe the lipgloss off your face. And try to act like she didn't just let you get to second base, okay?"

Paula sails off, leaving Castle with his mouth hanging open. Kate feels her face burning.

He blinks and looks back at her, and Kate takes pity on him, grabs a cocktail napkin from a pile nearby and carefully removes the traces of lipgloss that are pretty much all over his mouth and jawline. He's going to have an impressive hickey tomorrow. She's willing to bet she will, too.

"Cleaning up the mess you made, Detective?" he teases, crowding a little too close on purpose.
She takes a breath, tries to ignore the delicious tingle coursing through her veins, the urge to pull him back into the coatroom and let him find out exactly what she likes.

"Just trying to make you decent, Castle."

His eyes are dark, keen, dangerous, as he gives her a smile that is downright evil.

"You just wait, Kate. There's nothing decent about what I plan to do to you."