26. Hole

"Once I had a dream, once I had a hope

That was yesterday, not so long ago

This is not the end, this is just the world

Such a foolish thing, such an honest girl."

From If I Had a Boat by James Vincent McMorrow

Tifa thought she would never forgive herself for telling him the truth.

It was dark. She couldn't see anything at all, not even her own eyelashes, as she blinked a few times trying to get her bearings. It was the same anyway. Eyes open, closed, then open again. She slid one foot across the floor, trying to guess what it was. It might have been marble, or concrete, or…

There was a sudden light. Tifa shut her eyes in reflex, the light hurting her like razor blades. Little shadows danced between her closed lids. She opened them again slowly. The light was white, with an icy blue hue and gold all at the same time. She turned her head…

Cloud.

Her breath caught at her throat. She could see Cloud sitting some distance away, just sitting with his back turned to her and staring up at something she couldn't see. It was pitch-black all around but for Cloud.

Tifa started to walk, and then run, but the distance between her and Cloud didn't seem to change. She stretched out her hands, but couldn't reach him. She called his name over and over again but no sound came out.

In the distance, Cloud turned his head to the side, just a little bit, as if he was looking at somebody sitting next to him. He was listening with an incredulous look on his face, then he laughed (Tifa couldn't remember the last time she'd heard him laugh), and she realized she had stopped moving. Too late, anyway. Cloud was gone though the light lingered. Tifa looked around her, but he hadn't even left a shadow to follow.

She didn't know what to do.

But then, she'd always been like that.

It was a murky day, no color in the sky and everything around her toned down almost to black and white. The people walking around the slums of Midgar looked gloomier than usual, dragging themselves through the air that was getting chillier now. Winter was coming too soon. It was only September.

But Tifa couldn't feel the cold. Sweat rolled down in beads on her face, as she ran through the quiet streets of Sector Seven. People glanced at her as she ran past them. She only stopped a few blocks from the station, because she didn't want to look like an idiot. She took deep breaths and walked slowly until her hair and breathing were back to normal. She was just outside the station, now. She stopped.

It had been a long time, after all. What was she supposed to say to him? Tifa suddenly gasped at her stupidity. She'd been so surprised, so excited that she'd ran out of the bar as soon as her neighbor told her that a young man had been looking for her at the station. The young man, he'd said, with a crazy spiky blond hair – and she knew who it was. And she'd sprinted out of her bar, not even stopping to think about what she'd say to him.

Hi, Cloud.

It's been a while.

Cloud! What are you doing here?

Nothing was good enough. Her heart started picking up pace again. Tifa still remembered everything about him. His crazy hair, his eyes, his smile, the way he'd roll his eyes whenever Tifa challenged him to something, anything. A race. You want to race with me, Tifa? You sure? 'Cause I ain't gonna go easy on you. But he did. Sometimes the sunshine splashed in just the right way on his hair, his pale skin, and Tifa would have a sudden illusion of him flying away. She could almost see the wings, then, soft feathers and all. Into the blue sky. Then Tifa would be scared that he might leave her, and grab his shirt.

As she remembered all that, her breathing slowed again. It was Cloud. She had nothing to be nervous about, because she knew him like her heartbeat and there was no reason to act like an awkward teenager again. She wanted to laugh. She knew exactly what Cloud would say. She would go in, he would stare at her for a moment, the silence would stretch… And he would grin. Make some comment about how she'd grown, or something. She would laugh easily with him, then take him to her bar. So, I hear you became a SOLDIER, huh?

Tifa smiled to herself. Taking another breath, she stepped into the Sector Seven station. She spotted his familiar figure from far away, squatting on the short steps leading up to the platform.

But her smile faded as she approached him. He was rubbing his hand absently against a plate of metal on his laps – no, a sword, a really big sword. Tifa's heart squeezed as she got even closer. He hadn't seen her yet. There was something very wrong about him, she thought, though she could not say exactly what. He'd grown a little taller, lines of his face a little bit sharper…

But it was his eyes. The Mako, and something else she didn't know the name of, and Cloud kept rubbing the sword. Tifa stopped walking. She just stood, and stared for a long time, until Cloud finally noticed her. He blinked a few times.

Tifa couldn't speak.

"Tifa," Cloud said, slowly getting up. He slung his sword easily over his shoulder and clicked it behind his back. "It's been a while."

"Yeah." Tifa finally managed. "Long time no see, Cloud."

Then she smiled, tentatively, but he didn't return it.

She'd taken him to her bar then. Cloud told her it had been five years since they'd seen each other. Actually it had been seven. He told her that he'd gotten his wish, joined SOLDIER, but quit after the Sephiroth incident. He'd said that he was now a mercenary. He told her a lot about what happened after he'd left Nibelheim.

But,

Something was wrong. Tifa felt there was something strange about the things he talked about. All the things he didn't know that he should. and other things he shouldn't know that he did. She just wanted to make sure. But then she heard that he was not staying, planning on going far away… and she didn't want that. She didn't know what to do. She thought she needed more time. And that was why she told him about the AVALANCHE job. She wanted to be with him, to watch him.

That had been a few months ago now.

But Tifa had refused to give up on him. Cloud always wore that expression now, the weary one that was weighed down with so much that Cloud didn't – couldn't? – tell her about. Sometimes he would be in the middle of a conversation and just drift away, staring at something she couldn't see, and not even realize it. Tifa would stop talking then. He wouldn't even hear the silence. And she'd get that familiar fear again, the one about Cloud flying into the sky and never coming back. Tifa was tired, hopeless sometimes, and didn't know whether she should be more scared or sad or angry. But after everything, she thought, if she could see that smile one more time. Then it would all be worth it.

She was wrong. She couldn't save him. Maybe she never could.

Suddenly she realized she was staring at a ceiling. It was white, smudged with beige here and there. She lowered her glance slowly and was attacked by a too-bright, white light. She heard herself moan.

"Tifa? You okay?"

"Barret?" Her voice came out small and dry. Her lips were chapped. She felt a dull pain as it cracked and she tasted salty blood on her tongue.

"Yeah, yeah, come on, take it easy." Barret's voice and hands helped her up gently into a sitting position. Tifa felt her head spin. She tried opening her eyes again, slower this time.

"Where…"

Someone put a glass to her lips and she let the water wash across her lips, trickle its way through her tongue and throat. It left a burning trail. She blinked a few times. She saw the end of a battered red cloak disappearing with the water glass. Vincent. So he was okay, too.

"We're on the damn Highwind." Barret murmured.

Tifa realized she was sitting on a long couch in a wide deck of some kind. The ceiling and the walls were white, except for one side which was completely windows. Vincent was leaning against it like the blurring scenery of light blue sky and cottons of clouds didn't unsettle him. Tifa looked away from the sky.

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with the ship." An offended voice growled behind her. Tifa wheeled around to find the others sitting behind her, where more couches and armchairs were spread around. There was really nothing else in the room.

"What, they're redecorating?" Yuffie rolled her eyes across the eerily empty, white room.

"I just friggin' build the ship. Don't care what they do with the… furniture."

"How long was I out?" Tifa asked.

"Not long. Maybe a few hours?" Barret answered.

"So what… what happened? Exactly? What happened to me?" She didn't really want to hear the answer, but she asked the question anyway. Barret traded nervous glances with the others that Tifa pretended not to notice. Her heart was beating dumbly, steadily, but it was too heavy. She suddenly needed more water. Her hand reached out to the end table at the foot of the couch, but Vincent was already holding out the glass to her. She took it gratefully.

"Thanks."

Vincent just nodded. He was back in his place by the window in a blinking second.

"Um… well. Sephiroth's got the Black Materia now." Barret started, hesitantly. Tifa almost choked out the water at that.

"What? How? Weren't you holding onto it?"

"Yeah," Barret laughed nervously, the sound breaking. "The thing is…"

"The thing is, Cloud asked him to hand it over and he did." Nanaki finished Barret's sentence for him. Tifa blinked at him.

"Wha… why? Why would you do that?"

She still remembered the way Cloud had looked at the Materia, like he would be cursed just by touching it. He hadn't wanted anything to do with it, and he'd been right.

But then she also remembered Cloud's face at the end. At the end, when she could keep the lie no more; something cracked in him then, she knew.

"I dunno." Barret heaved a sigh. "I shouldn't of… I know. But man, it was Cloud…"

"Yeah," Tifa paused. "I know what you mean. So… what happened after that?"

She asked just to distract herself. She didn't really want to know after that. She didn't care. She knew she should, it was the destruction of the Planet, but she couldn't. Couldn't make herself care. But she acted like it mattered.

"After that, Cloud suddenly… came to, you know? And he told us all to get outta there. Sephiroth was comin'. He told us to take you and get to the Highwind."

"He said goodbye." Yuffie suddenly said. Her expression was a little vacant, her fingers fiddling with the knife she'd pulled out from behind her ankle. Tifa didn't know what to say to that.

"Yeah. Then… then the ground and the walls started to shake real bad. Cloud was standin' in the middle of it all… just standing. We tried to talk to him again but he didn't answer. We had to get out."

"Or else the roof of the cave would've fallen on us." Cait Sith said. Tifa nodded, a little numb.

"Yeah… I suppose you had to." Her voice sounded alien (you should have taken him. You shouldn't have left him. You shouldn't have left him).

"We got out, we ran into the damn Shinra folks. Rufus Shinra himself, and that blonde woman and someone else… And Hojo." Barret shuddered as if the name itself made him sick. "Didn't really hafta talk them into letting us catch a ride, 'cause the shaking was real bad by then and the Northern Cave started exploding in this… huge barrier of light. We got out as fast as we could."

"Yeah, the greasy scientist said that Sephiroth was sleeping in that big hole, that there was this reunion crap and now he had his body back. And we can't do a damn thing about it. We just gotta wait till he wakes up." Yuffie said.

"Reunion?" Tifa asked. She was still acting like she cared.

"The Sephiroth clones." It was Vincent who spoke this time. "Hojo created clones with Jenova cells. Sephiroth had the most cells and then there were others. The bodies of the people… of your town. And the Reunion is basically all the Jenova cells coming together. In the center is Sephiroth and his physical form is… reborn." Vincent finished.

Tifa felt her head spin again. This time it wasn't from dehydration.

"An' on top of that, some huge monster called Weapon's been on a rampage." Barret added, almost like an afterthought. Tifa felt her energy, whatever was left of it, drain from her.

"… Weapon?"

"Remember that huge rock-thing that was at the bottom of the cave? Well, turns out it was a monster and it's up here now. They say it's some legendary monster from the past."

"Weapon… is protecting Sephiroth?" She got out her voice and it sounded normal. Steady, calm. Cid shrugged.

"Dunno. But he's up there goin' around tearin' things up. Right now Rufus Shinra is fightin' it. Shinra technology." Cid admitted grudgingly. "I hate to say it… but looks like we're on the same page for now."

"Oh." Tifa didn't know what to think. She glanced at Barret and he shrugged his shoulder, too. They'd spent their entire time fighting Shinra. But bigger things were coming. Bigger things. Tifa suddenly remembered something else.

"Hey, what about Meteor?"

Barret grunted at that.

"Look outside." Nanaki said softly, and Tifa did, confused. At first she didn't realize it because it was hanging like it had always belonged there. But a rock in the sky, the shadow looming, that was…

"That's Meteor?" She breathed. It was just a small spot in the sky now, but she knew it must be getting nearer and would grow much, much bigger. And then her voice kind of trickled out like a tap had been turned on. She didn't even have time to stop it. "Do we have to give up?"

There was silence.

"Dunno," Barret finally said.

And then Tifa stopped asking questions. She knew that the others were waiting for her to ask something else, but that was the one question she would not ask. She was scared to know the answer.

She thought she saw the echo of him turn his head to her. He stared silently. She tried to read the answer through his eyes. But too soon, he was gone. Fading. Tifa closed her eyes.

Reeve thought the new President Shinra must be joking, and said as much to Helen. Helen was a year or two older than him but he was her superior at the Shinra Urban Development Department. He trusted her. Sometimes he told her things that he wouldn't admit had ever crossed his mind to anyone else.

Helen was now frowning at him. They were setting the table for the meeting later. Normally it was a secretary's job. This wasn't a normal situation, though, and they were short on staff on this big, empty airship.

"Reeve… you know he isn't." She said simply. Reeve stared at her for a moment, then a tight smile crossed his face. He did know, in fact.

"Sometimes I wonder, Helen." He muttered as he poured water into another glass. It splattered a little. Helen pretended not to have heard that.

"You know, you don't have to help me with this, Reeve." She said after a minute. "You are the Head of our department, after all."

Reeve shrugged. "I like to help when I can."

And it was true. He'd been working for Shinra for a long time now. Sometimes he liked it and more times he didn't, but there was a reason besides the salary that he came to work every day.

There was noise outside. Helen placed the last glass on the table, and stood back, in the shadows. Reeve strolled to his seat by the door and stood behind the chair as the executives of Shinra started piling in the conference room. Rufus Shinra came in last, flanked by two Turks, Reno and Rude. Rufus took them everywhere these days. Reeve wasn't sure if the two Turks minded following the President to every meeting and conference, to stand behind his chair for hours and basically not do anything much.

Rude followed Rufus closely behind, his expression impassive. Reno slouched in, dragging his feet. He caught Reeve looking at him and his lips distorted in a cocky smile that Reeve wasn't sure how to interpret.

Rufus started the meeting right away. He was different from his father that way. He talked business most of the time. He had his logic, his reasons. He leaned forward in his chair and didn't sprawl all over like the late President. He looked his executives in the eyes when he spoke, and everyone had to listen. He gave orders and gave reasons for them. But orders were still orders.

"Sephiroth's reborn. Meteor has been summoned." Rufus rubbed his brows. "Essentially, it's all but over now."

"What do we do, Mr. President?" It was Scarlet, The Head of Weapons Development Department.

"We have to fight." Rufus sighed. Reeve couldn't help but feel a little sorry for the man.

"The public is panicking, sir…" Japper Tyles, the Head of the Publicity and Media Department. "The explosion, the media… we have to give them something."

"Oh, we've already decided what to do about that." Scarlet laughed. Reeve tensed up. He glanced at Rufus. Hopefully, hopefully he would say that he'd been joking all along. Of course he'd been joking. It didn't make sense at all. Japper looked confused. Obviously he hadn't heard the rumors yet.

"Wait, before that, President." Hojo's voice cut through the tense silence. "What to do with the… prisoners aboard?" His glasses glinted strangely in the setting sunlight. Reeve thought of the prisoners and it made his stomach sick again. He wasn't exactly a fan of AVALANCHE – they destroyed the city and planted fear in people's minds. But he could also see why they did what they did. And he knew what Hojo was going to suggest. He was probably going to use them as some sick experimental subjects.

"There is no need for them, but they have an important… task." The way Rufus pronounced that last word, task, affirmed Reeve's fear. The rumor went…

"Mister President! Preparations for the public execution are complete." Heidegger chose that moment to barge in the conference room like a fat hurricane, and Reeve didn't miss Rufus's lips quirking up in a sly smile.

The rumor went, that the remaining members of AVALANCHE were to be executed publicly for causing this situation. Because people were ignorant and they would feel better as long as someone was punished.

Reeve knew that he would have to help them. He just didn't know how. He swept the room with his eyes, but without much hope. Conversation was still going on, but he knew that the decision had already been made.

Who could help him? Who would want to? Scarlet was already cackling delightfully. Reeve noticed that even her fingernails were painted bright red and couldn't help but think of blood. His gaze drifted past Tseng, who was keeping a straight face, and to the President, to the two Turks standing behind him…

And, for some reason, Reeve found Reno looking at him. Reeve stared back. Reno's green eyes were so vivid they were startling. The staring contest went on for about a minute, then Reno's face slowly broke into a crooked grin. Reeve could only describe it as wicked.

Reno was a kleptomaniac, and damn proud of it too.

It would probably be a bad habit to have if he ever got caught, but he didn't, and therefore it wasn't. It was fun. Reno was constantly bored, constantly looking for little things to make him grin, because he figured that was how life was; hunting for things to amuse him. He first stole something when he was seven. It was a pear, yellow and sweet and watery. Reno remembered staring at it for a long time in front of the fruit stand, because his mom – well, he couldn't remember exactly what had happened, but she wasn't there anymore. And he never saw her again. He guessed she might have run away with the butcher down the street. That was about a week after little Rina died, of pneumonia or something like that. She had been five years old and really annoying when she tugged and tugged at his shirt, but sometimes she was kind of cute, too. After she died the house had been so quiet, and Reno thought that his mom probably ran away because she couldn't stand the silence.

So that was how Reno found himself standing and staring at a pear in front of a fruit stand. Eventually the owner noticed the little boy with the insanely red hair, got suspicious and chased him off. Before he ran off, though, Reno took the pear. He took it, just like that, because his mom told him no stealing unless you are really, really hungry and he was really, really hungry. The man didn't even notice.

Tseng found him at sixteen, seventeen? He'd originally taken Reno to become SOLDIER, but the rules didn't really agree with him. The saluting, the stupid helmets and the boring little swords. What was with that? He got bored quickly. It took a prank or two for the authorities to realize that it was probably a bad idea to keep him there – so they moved him to the Turks. Reno liked to think that he'd been good so far. He liked the job. It kept him from getting bored… most times. Lately, though, if there was anything more boring than these tedious conferences Rufus took him to, he'd have to hang himself.

So he was bored. He'd been staring at the back of Rufus's shiny blonde head for far too long, it was detrimental to his health. Then his gaze wandered everywhere, absently wondering why people were looking so shocked. Well, except for Scarlet. He never liked her. She looked down at Turks like she was above them, even though most of the them could probably snap her neck without even blinking. They were just too nice to actually do it. And, well, it was kind of against regulations.

That was when Reno felt his partner stiffen. He shot a curious look at Rude. To most people, Rude would just look like Rude and emotionless behind those sunglasses, but Reno had been working with him long enough to notice that he was nervous right now. Reno cocked his head, lightly kicking Rude in the leg. Rude glanced at him without actually moving his head, and mouthed something. Listen.

Reno rolled his eyes. It was such a hassle to listen, but he sighed and paid attention to the conversation going on in the room.

" … People are ignorant. They'll feel better as long as someone is punished." Rufus was saying.

"But a Public Execution, sir? In this age and time…?"

"We are at war, Mr. Toshi. Desperate times."

Huh. Reeve clicked his tongue. A Public Execution, that was new. But that still didn't explain…

But then a damn familiar name caught his ears. It was the name he'd been after for so long.

When they were briefing him and Rude, they painted him like some dangerous, monstrous psychopath licking his bloodied sword after a fun killing. But then he actually met the little bastard and… and he was just a prettyboy blondie who had really weird hair was kinda emo, too. He was even shorter than Reno, he'd noted. Midget.

And now they were talking about how he was dead. And the rest of his friends, the AVALANCHE, captured here on board. And apparently, they were going to be the shining highlight of the show. To be blamed for everything. Huh.

That Ancient girl that Tseng obviously liked, despite his denial, was already dead. And so was Cloud Strife (Reno wondered if he was feeling anything about that). Then… who else? His thoughts flickered to the big muscle-head with the gun arm. He couldn't have cared less about him. Also the talking cat and the talking… wolf? Whatever it was. Reno didn't like them at all, because they crept him out. And then there was Cid Highwind, a past season engineer. Reno liked him okay. Man said what was on his mind. And then the annoying, loud little Wutai girl. Then there was that Vincent. a dark, looming presence in the back of every scene.

Oh, and there was Tifa.

Reno sighed again and conspicuously rolled his eyes until they hurt, just so Rude knew what an awesome partner he was. If Rude noticed him, he didn't let it show.

Reno was kleptomaniac. And nobody ever saw him steal, let alone catch him. This time, too, nobody noticed as Reno slipped a hand in the President's jacket hung on his chair. A card disappeared into Reno's sleeve. He rubbed his finger on its smooth plastic surface, checking to make sure it was the right thing, then casually put it in his own pocket. The whole ordeal took all of three seconds.

Reno knew what they were going to do with the prisoners. They were going to stick them in the gas chamber, because that was the only option viable. They needed bloody, but the right kind. Beheading them would be the wrong kind. Too gruesome for the pathetic weak hearts of the public. Guns were too boring. People were used to guns. He supposed they could fling them off from the airship, but didn't think they would. The fallen bodies might cause panic. That left one other thing they could do in an airship. Reno didn't know why an airship would have a gas chamber, but it did and that was where they would take the prisoners. Douchebags thought they were so smart. Reno smirked.

Scarlet had the keys to the chamber. But it was impossible to get near her without being suspicious. He supposed Tseng, who happened to be the Head of the Investigation Sector of the General Affairs Department (a.k.a. the Turks) and thus had to sit beside Scarlet, could have swiped it for him. Only Tseng wasn't looking at Reno. He was staring at the table, looking lost and a little sick.

There was another key, though. Rufus's master key. It opened the door to everything anywhere. It was currently resting inside Reno's jacket pocket. Reno felt smug. Oh, how he loved kicking authority in the ass. It was such fun.

And he also knew just who the key was going to. Reno was a good Turk, and a good Turk was observant. He'd noticed Reeve Tuesti shifting restlessly in his chair. Their eyes met. Reno gave him one of his most charming smiles. Reeve frowned.

As they were all leaving the conference room, Reno lingered behind. It wasn't unusual of him, either. Rude shuffled past him and gave a tight nod of appreciation. Reno snorted.

Reeve lingered, too. He'd caught the drift. Reno slouched over to him, and slipped the key card inside the man's suit pocket without him noticing. How nobody saw his hands move was beyond him. He guessed that everybody was just that dumb.

"Reno," Reeve greeted him. He looked questioningly at Reno.

"Check your pocket, but don't be too obvious about it." Reno said easily. He turned to leave, but wheeled around again because he had to explain something. Reeve was blinking down at him, looking like a lost child.

"Just to be clear." Reno said. "I'm not doin' this for you, or for them. I'm doin' this for my partner, got it?"

Reeve nodded, although he still looked unsure. Reno smirked, and walked away. He caught up with Rude and the President easily. Rude glanced at his direction, nodded thanks. Reno just shrugged, feeling generous. He felt sorry for Rude anyway. Tifa Lockhart sure was a catch, but she was so obviously head over heels for Cloud. Although… Reno mused, Cloud is dead now. Maybe Rude stood a chance after all. But then, maybe not. Reno shook his head as he kept his easy stride behind Rufus.

Tifa found the red light of the camera suffocating. Almost like the light was an eye of a live beast, looking through her, dissecting her. She turned away. A woman was speaking. She tried to recall her name, and failed. Everything was spinning so wildly now. The room had four, five, six walls. There was a door in the back that was made of rusty iron and it was one, but the next minute it turned into two different doors. Tifa scrubbed her foot across the floor beneath her just to remind her where she was. She watched her boots and wondered why they were shaking so badly.

"Is everyone here?" The woman, again, that Tifa couldn't remember the name of. She tried to see her through squinted eyes, but the lights were too bright and the red light of the camera was thrashing in leather whips around her neck. She felt like her entire body was burning up, and couldn't understand why she'd feel so cold when, obviously, she was on fire. The red light. She turned away but the woman was also wearing red. Red lipsticks. Red fingernails. God, did she have horrible fingernails. It was fire all over. Like that time…

The fire that Cloud claimed he'd seen, when he hadn't. When he hadn't even been there. It was just that SOLDIER Zack all along and Tifa should have told him sooner. Maybe. She didn't know if he'd been built, like Sephiroth said. She didn't know if her memories were fake too. Everything? Sephiroth said so. She wondered if they had created Cloud after all. If they had stuffed her brain with pieces of memories about him, the way they'd put one in Cloud's head. Making him think that… that he'd been there, in the fire, five years ago in the place of the other man. But then, maybe, her memories were fake and his were real. Maybe she had told him the truth and it wasn't the truth after all. Maybe she was burning now because she had failed to save him.

Tifa coughed and tasted blood in her mouth. She'd bitten down on the inside of it.

"These are the ones who brought his madness into the world." The woman was saying, and Tifa looked at her only to realize that she'd been looking at her the whole time.

"The hell is this?"

She knew that voice. It was Barret's. Barret's voice always sounded like the dusty bar, a cork of the wine bottle and gunpowder on the floor. It was coming from her left. She turned her head and realized that he'd been holding her upright. To her right was Vincent. His grip was firm but she didn't feel a thing. Not that she could tell. She couldn't even tell if she was hot, or cold.

"Barret…?"

"Shh, Tifa. You're sick. Burnin' up. And they… is that a freakin' camera?!"

His voice was too loud. Tifa closed her eyes but had to open them again because the darkness made the world shake more, bubbling over the top like bad beer, and she couldn't tell where she was standing. She turned her head to the right.

"I'm… sick?"

"You passed out." Vincent was always so succinct. To the point. Tifa stared at him and imagined herself asking, where is Cloud, and he might frown – in his grinding voice, he might say – who is Cloud?

"Yes, it's a camera." The woman was sighing now. "We will be broadcasting your miserable deaths live on national television." She said that so that only they would hear, not the cameraman. Her lips twisted into a smile. Her red lips. "They'll never admit it, but everyone loves this stuff! We'll start with the girl."

She was looking at Tifa, and Tifa wondered why her eyes weren't red. They were blue. No, the wrong color. Blue was for someone else. Blue was for the sky that was stolen from them.

"Hey!" Barret stepped forward, but he forgot that he was grabbing her arm and she jerked forward with him. She almost fell down, but Vincent held her back. "If you've gotta do it… do me first!"

The woman was laughing. What was it that Barret had said? Tifa tried to remember but the words were all blurry like looking through a rain-soaked window. Hell, the world was blurry like that.

"Camera, this way! Make sure you get this, the audience just eats up tearful goodbyes!"

There were shouting. Yelling. Too much noise, too much movement at once and the world jingled and sprawled like little pearls of a broken necklace. The next thing she knew, she was inside the rusty iron room, and they were closing the door. The noise. But then the door clicked shut, the lock made a grunt and everything went quiet.

And the silence slapped her, hard. When she sucked in a fast breath and breathed out long and slow, she remembered some things.

First, Scarlet. That was the woman's name. The Head of the Shinra Weapons Development.

Second, apparently they – the AVALANCHE – were being blamed for setting Sephiroth free and being executed for it. Also, they were filming this on camera.

Third. Tifa was the first victim and this was a gas chamber.

Fourth, was a memory of a sunny afternoon when she was five, one of the first memories she had, and staring at a boy across the playground who was building a sand castle by himself. Tifa remembered thinking –his hair is so light and yellow and pretty. She wanted to go over there and build pretty castles with him, make a little flag with the orange leaves falling from the trees, but her mother had stopped her. Don't play with him, Tifa.

And she'd thought that was because he was, in fact, an angel.

Time passed. Cloud and Tifa, they had seen lots of fall foliages. They'd played in them, raked them together only to splash them like water, they'd picked up the prettiest ones and stuck them in their books. Then Tifa saw a whole lot more, on her own, and sometimes her thoughts would drift to him. She'd come to realize that Cloud was no angel. He wasn't perfect. Sometimes he was sly and annoying, other times he was just plain dumb. But she still loved him like nothing else in the world. As a friend, as a family, as something too bright to look at, straight. He was her entire world for a long time, and when she grew up and her world got larger, he was still a small kingdom inside her heart. And he never knew.

"I never got to tell you," she muttered under her breath.

So maybe, this was all an illusion. Maybe Cloud was made up, she didn't know. All she knew was, thinking about how she might not see him again hurt her like nothing else in the world, too. It almost hurt to breathe. To cry. So she didn't care what they did, what they could do. They couldn't have fabricated this hurt. This raw feeling that left her bleeding and the blood just wouldn't stop. And that was how. That was how Tifa knew that Cloud was real.

Too bad she couldn't tell him, though. There was no one to hear it and soon there would be no one to tell him.

The gas settled in the room subtly, seeping through the cracks between air particles, quietly hunting.

Tifa quickly scanned the room for an exit. There had to be a way somehow – because it was the last thing she remembered. She remembered that she was a fighter. She was not some girl who gave up everything when, well, her world was on fire. She had lived through Nibelheim and although she did have doubts, she was going to live through this time. Make it without him. Because somebody had to remember him.

Tifa found the door at the back. It was locked. She pulled with everything she had, and something cracked somewhere but the door still wouldn't open. The slow spread of the gas was becoming panic and her grip was getting looser. Her legs started to give way, but she stood up again because all she knew was she had to live. Live through this. Her vision was wobbling like she was drunk and there were red, yellow, white, black dots in the world and they moved too much. Tifa was still gripping the handle but her hand felt detached to her body…

And the door opened.

Tifa couldn't remember much after that. She saw a face, a sharp face but his eyes were warm. He had black hair and hazel eyes. He was wearing a dark blue business suit and Tifa remembered thinking it looked like he worked here – for Shinra – but then he held out his hands and she fell into them, consciousness slipping away like a forgotten dream.

The room was empty. One minute, Red-lipstick was laughing her head off and the next minute she was running out of the room after everybody else. They left Yuffie and everybody else – her friends – in the room, alone. It had something to do with the emergency broadcast, which was still blaring at full volume, by the way. It didn't do much for her already upset stomach. Yuffie crouched down, trying to keep breathing.

"Emergency! Emergency! Weapon's approaching! Attention all military personnel: take your positions!"

Somebody was yelling. Yuffie was just trying to keep it all down. Because, well, gross. Her stomach was jumping up and down and it was really, really angry.

"It won't open…! Tifa, Tifa!"

Barret was yelling and smacking the door. Yuffie's eyes fluttered open – she remembered, suddenly, why she was standing here instead of on the comfy couch with her head buried in the cushion and pretending she was on a surface that didn't move.

"Tifa!" She yelped. Tifa was in the gas chamber. She stood up quickly and almost fell back down again, but she gripped whatever was beside her and stayed straight.

"Okay, okay, time for Plan B. Run to the C deck." It was the cat, Cait Sith. Barret looked down at him like he might eat the little thing alive.

"The deck, you kiddin'? An' leave Tifa there?"

"Trust me, trust me. We gotta take a chance."

Barret was gonna yell why the hell would I trust you, and Yuffie was gonna agree, but then he paused, looking at Cait Sith with a weird expression. There was something about the cat… that was different. His voice was different. He wasn't bobbing up and down like usual, the annoying little brat he was. Right now he was perched on Nanaki, looking solemn and serious.

And she didn't know why, but she trusted him. She must be mad.

"Well…" Barret looked round at them awkwardly, confused. It looked like he was beginning to trust the little traitor again too. "Whatya think?"

"I think we do what we have to do." A voice suddenly boomed beside her. Yuffie jumped. It wasn't so much as a boom, just a deep, really deep grind that reminded her of coral oceans. Apparently that thing she was holding onto was Vincent. He hadn't even twitched even though Yuffie was grabbing him like her life depended on it.

"What… does that mean?" Cid narrowed his eyes.

"We can't open the door here." Vincent said. "So we will get out of here." He had this way of simplifying stuff.

"I won't leave Tifa, I promise." Cait Sith was now saying. Vincent looked at the cat and Yuffie swore that she saw something pass between them. She almost demanded to know what the hell was going on, but everybody was moving and there was no time. Yuffie took one step forward and almost fell flat on her face. Vincent grabbed her just at the last second. Normally, Yuffie reasoned, she would never lean on someone like that. She was a proud Wutai, for god's sakes, but now she was on a moving surface and she just couldn't… it wasn't normal. So she let Vincent carry most of her weight and just trudged along. They met little to no resistance along the empty hallway. The airship shook badly from time to time, because they were fighting a monster called WEAPON and everybody was down at the main deck where they controlled the guns and sorts. They ran some more, down the frighteningly bare hallways, and someone closed the door behind them. Vincent let go of Yuffie and she fell back down on… something soft. Yuffie looked up and it was that couch-room again. Only there was something else, too. Cid was doing some mechanical thing and there was a small board of buttons and controls she hadn't noticed before. Also, there was Tifa.

"Hey, Tifa! You're alive!" Yuffie yelped, waving her hand. She wanted to go over by Tifa's side, but didn't dare move. Tifa gave her a weak smile. She was leaning on the couch like Yuffie, opposite from her.

"So, Cid, can you do it?" Cait Sith asked. Cid grumbled something beneath the board, but then his eyes lit up like he'd found a Materia.

"Ha! I've got it!"

"Got what?" Yuffie asked, shushing her stomach. Vincent glanced down at her. Yuffie glared back because she was not scared of his crimson eyes anymore. Or – she never was. Nuh-uh.

"What?" She snarled dangerously. "Got a problem, Vince?"

Vincent's eyebrow quirked up at that. Eventually he looked away.

"We're gettin' ourselves a ship, that's what!" Cid exclaimed victoriously from where he was crouching. "She disconnects."

"Huh?" Yuffie frowned.

"The ship has two parts. They're connected now, but the connection can be severed and since everybody is at the main deck now… we'll have half of the ship to ourselves." Cid explained. At least he was having fun.

"Okay."

Yuffie murmured, and buried her head in the cushion again. For the next thirty minutes she tried not to think about how the moving surface was breaking in two and she was going to be on a smaller moving surface.

"Welcome to my airship – the Highwind!" Cid was glowing. Yuffie's thoughts were distant – she vaguely thought about how lame it was to name a ship after yourself. Then she imagined conquering a Materia Mine. Discovering it, naming it, maybe the Yuffie Mine.

The ship rumbled like a hungry beast. Yuffie buried herself deeper into the cushion, and tried very hard to ignore the savages down in her stomach that wanted to eat her alive. Someone was speaking, and Yuffie tuned her ear into that to distract herself. Unfortunately, it wasn't very cheerful.

"Meteor is coming, and Weapon is on the rampage…" It was Tifa. Her voice was laden heavy with depression. "I just don't know what I'm supposed to do… What we're supposed to do."

Oh, very optimistic, Tifa. Yuffie sighed but didn't speak. Nanaki's soft voice followed.

"You think we aren't strong enough without Cloud?"

And the name, it hit her almost physically, like a poisoned spear. Yuffie flinched.

"And that we can't save the Planet alone?" Nanaki added. His voice was low, gentle but a little chastising too. Tifa didn't say anything.

"Get a hold of yourself, Tifa!" Barret said. "C'mon, let's think about this! No way we can get offa this train we're on!"

And he had a point. There was nothing they could do about it, except maybe running away to an uninhabited island in the middle of nowhere. Even that wasn't an option, though. When the world ended… everything ended. It was depressing, alright. Yuffie stuck her head up carefully and found everyone looking at everywhere but each other. Vincent was staring at his feet with his arms crossed and leaning against the glass like usual. Barret was fiddling with his gun-arm, and Cid looked busy over some buttons on the control panel. But he was pressing random ones over and over again.

"If Cloud were here…" Tifa murmured. She didn't finish that sentence, and everyone just pretended they hadn't heard it. Yuffie didn't say anything either. But her thoughts drifted there. She remembered Cloud. His eyes used to be the color of the purest Water Materia.

If he were here. He would stand there, brood over some dark thoughts and decide on something that Yuffie hadn't even realized was a problem yet. Then he would tell them, simple as that. He was depressed, depressing – gloomy, stoic, never smiled. He was arrogant sometimes, never sure of himself, always doubting everything… but always going on. He'd looked tired all the time. He'd blank out in the middle of a conversation. He'd cock his head and raise his eyebrow when Yuffie was being a jerk, but never said anything. He would let her cling to his back like a little kid. He looked after people. He was kind, in his own way.

Maybe he was dead, maybe he wasn't, but he wasn't here. There was a big, empty hole where he used to stand.

And she missed him like hell.