AN: Here's the second chapter. There's a bit of swearing. Thank you to everyone who read the first chapter.

CHAPTER 2

PPOV

Char and I were at the local library, it was time to make first contact with the lovely Ms Swan. We set up a new email address and started our first email to our future sister;

From: NotACullen
To: BellaSwan

Miss Bella,

Think of us as your Fairy Godparents, after what you've been through if you need to talk to someone in the know feel free to drop us a line. We promise no judgment and no white coats. As bad as things feel now there is a change coming, one which will bring you much happiness. I can understand it's hard to trust anyone with something you perceive to be someone else's secret. We share the same secret.

We have some advice should you wish to utilize it;

Firstly, there are some friends of your father's you'll need to align yourself with. They have their own secret, one which ensures the safety of your kind. They're angry and dislike your previous 'family' but don't hold their slurs against them. They have a right to be angry and trying to get them to curb their rage will only isolate you from good friends and make the outcome more dangerous.

Second, a person's worth is not measured by another's actions or words. Release the pain and find your own self-worth. You aren't responsible for other people's actions and you aren't inferior. You have been treated poorly and that is not a reflection of you, but them. Don't let their insecurities become your own.

Third, you have a place in our world, it has not abandoned you, nor has your choice been taken away. Allow yourself to hope for the future you want. The characters in your dreams may change, but it will be a good change.

We are here for you.

It's time to heal and let go.

BPOV

Through the haze the words of the email jumped out at me. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, as cryptic as the message was I knew what it meant. The hope welled up in me and I tried to suppress it as much as I could.

I know I can't live like this anymore, not eating or sleeping. Every day is such a struggle. What I wouldn't give for peace. I know they're not coming back, it hurts so much. Part of me died in that forest, a part that would never return. Not even his family could heal me, but maybe I could heal myself.

I lay down, waiting for sleep to creep up on me. The nightmares are inevitable, but I wasn't ready to respond to my mysterious new pen pal just yet. It was information overload and questions were rattling around my head. No, I needed a clearer mind. Slowly I drifted off.

I felt my body twitch with adrenaline, but I couldn't remember the dream. I was thankful. The clock read 6:30 am. Six hours sleep, a personal best from the last few months. I heard Charlie fumble around the kitchen and decided to join him. "Morning Dad." Charlie was shocked, "morning Bells, did you sleep ok?"
"Better than I have in a while. I think things are getting better." He smiled, "glad to hear it, how about we celebrate at the diner tonight? You could probably use a break from cooking. We could drop by the bookshop after work if you want?" I felt a small smile creep up on my lips, it felt foreign, but I knew it was a good thing; I hadn't smiled for a while. "Sounds good."

Charlie had been a godsend. Renee would have hovered, constantly pushing me. Dad knew better, he hurt because I was hurt, but he understood from experience that time was what I needed. He'd stayed strong, knew the right thing to say and didn't push. I remember a week after it happened he sat down at the table with me while my breakfast went cold. He was picking at the eggs and bacon in front of him. "Kid, I know it's hard. I'm here if you need me, I always will be here."

Not once did Charlie yell, threaten or judge. He sat and observed, probably one of the reasons he's such a good cop. He'd seen me hug myself and correctly guessed it felt like my heart had been ripped out. I remember the sadness in his eyes. He'd been watching me one afternoon as I clutched my arms around myself trying to hold it together. He sat next to me and gently loosened the white knuckled grip I had on my arms, he put my arms around him and held me. He didn't say anything, he didn't need to.

It was only a couple of months ago that I started opening up. It all started with a question; "will it hurt forever?"
"No Bells, one day you wake up and it's a little easier. It gets easier and easier to breathe."
"Will I forget them?"
"No, but you will learn to accept the memories. You'll see things differently; the good and the bad, but people who have such an impact on our lives to cause this pain can't be forgotten. Sometimes I wonder if it's to teach us to accept what life brings us and takes away."
"That's very Zen Charlie." He nodded and we sat in silence.

He patted my shoulder and left for work. I trudged up stairs and replied to the email.

What do I call you? It seems too strange to email a stranger like this, I hope you know I have an in with the Chief of Police so if you're planning to cause problems I suggest you quit now. My kind may not have physical strength, but we're dangerous en force.

A few questions I need answered if your intentions are innocent.

Are you red or gold?

How are you associated to the Cullens?

Your cryptic recommendations hint towards a gift, one that makes me uncomfortable.

How many of you are there?

I saved the email as a draft. If this was a prank, a hoax, I'd needed allies to help. Allies that their email had alluded to. I had to see Billy Black. I printed off the original email and my draft. After showering and dressing I headed to La Push. My vague memories helped me reach my destination, thankfully the Black's house was one of the first I came across. The sound of the engine roused the inhabitants from the house, Billy wheeled himself to the porch. His face remained stoic, I was apprehensive of my plan now I was here.

Billy nodded to me as a greeting. I exited the truck. "How can I help you, Bella?"
"I need help with business related to the Cold Ones" his eyes widened in surprise, but he kept his neutral mask and gestured for me to enter. I sat on the couch, Billy remained quiet, waiting for me to begin. I decided on diplomacy. "I'm sorry I didn't listen to your previous warnings about them." He nodded for me to continue. "I received an email and I was wondering if I could get some advice" I handed him the first email. Billy's eyes grew less cold as he read on. "You know Bells, Charlie received an letter similar to this one years ago. He's my best friend and he asked my opinion like you have. Thank you for trusting me with this." I stared at him confused, Charlie had a letter? "I want to respond to it, here's what I have so far. Will you help me draft a reply? I need to know what damage this will cause."
"Your right not to trust them, but it is intriguing." He grabbed a pen from the coffee table and started writing. I couldn't hold back my questions while he worked. "Does Charlie know about them? What happened to his letter? Has he encountered any?" Billy kept writing and I waited for a response.

Eventually he handed back the email draft, I looked over his edit.

Know this; I have allies ready to protect us from any attack you may bring. You fuck with us and I will fuck you up.

I need total disclosure; who are you? What is your business with me? How do you know what you know? To whom is your allegiance? What is your diet?

The cussing shocked me, I hadn't sworn in a long time, probably because he thought it was crude. Something began to shift in my mind, I felt a heavy feeling in my heart and anger filled me-HE DIDN'T LIKE SWEARING! For some reason I resented that. There was nothing wrong with some swearing, hell the way Billy used it emphasized the strength of his/my words. I zoned out until Billy cleared his throat. My attention snapped back to him and I smiled, another foreign, small smile. "This sounds perfect, thank you."
"Will you do my people a favor?" He asked, I nodded. "We are always in need more information on vampires, none of us have spoken in depth with a bloodsucker since my grandfather made the treaty with the Cullens."
"I'll tell you anything you need to know." Why the fuck not help the Quileutes? It felt good to swear again. Why should I protect him and his family when they rejected me? Fuck them. "We'll have a bonfire next Friday night, I'll speak to Charlie and arrange for you to join us." I thanked him and left. I felt lighter already, my epiphany had lessened the effect of the gaping hole in my chest.

I returned home and sent the newly edited email. The afternoon was pleasant and, as insane as it seemed, I walked around the house swearing as much as I could. The words just flowed out, it was a release I never thought I'd get. Charlie arrived home just as I'd finished getting ready for dinner at the diner.

It was a quiet meal, we could hear the whispers around us and felt the stares on the back of our necks, but I was still reveling in the lightness that came with my epiphany. I could swear if I wanted to! Fuck, shit, piss, cunt, tits, cock muncher, cum guzzler, whore. I felt …free. We spent a good hour at the bookshop, I needed something different, I wouldn't let him get in the way of my hobbies. I ended up getting a few Terry Pratchett Discworld books. I'd never read them before. I bumped into Angela in the non-fiction section "hey Ang, how are you?"
"Bella?" She was shocked, but a smile steadily grew on her face. I returned one of my own. "I'm good, how have you been, Ang? I'm sorry I dropped out of contact for a while." I really felt guilty, she just waved me off "I'm good. Hey, Ben wants to take me to a Kung Fu movie in Port Angeles tomorrow, would you like to come? You'd really be doing me a favor." Why the fuck not! At least it wasn't romance. "Sure, what time?"
"We can pick you up at your house around 4pm?"
"That sounds great."
"Thank you. I should probably head out now, see you tomorrow." Before she could turn and leave I grabbed her into a hug. "Thanks Ang, I'll see you tomorrow." I. HAD. PLANS. Weird. Charlie was beaming, he patted my shoulder and we headed home.

It was hard getting to sleep, but I managed. The nightmares were there, but instead of running towards Edward in the forest I just stood and observed, sorting through the memories of our time together. His face was as stern as ever, his eyes hard and unforgiving. I thought about how wrapped up I'd been; I had no life outside the relationship, everything was a constant uphill battle, everything was too hard and now that he'd dumped me all those struggles seemed …unworthy. He hadn't been worth all the pain and sacrifice. I STILL hurt, but looking at him now, surrounded by the dark forest, the futility of it all hit me. He wasn't good enough. He didn't care enough, the words from that first email hit me don't let their insecurities become your own. He was a coward. As hollow as I felt now, I embraced the new thoughts. My voice rang out, clear and strong "fuck you, Edward."

Before I knew it, it was daytime. I started my routine; bathroom, breakfast, housework. I tried to distract myself from the computer, wondering if I'd received a reply yet. I didn't want to burst my good mood bubble just yet, I wanted to wait til tonight, after going out with my friends. I needed a human day.

Four o'clock came quickly, I'd managed to do all the house work and laundry and I was proud of myself. Charlie had picked up the slack while I was non-functional and we now had a schedule, but I wanted to thank him by getting everything out of the way so he could relax when he came home from fishing tonight. I'd prepared a lasagna and put it in the oven with instructions on how to heat it up when he came home. I wondered if Billy had said anything about the emails I'd shown him. A knock on the door broke me out of my thoughts, I was really looking forward to this afternoon.

Angela and Ben waited patiently while I grabbed my bag. The drive to the cinema was enjoyable, they updated me on what had been going on the last few months. It was the same old Forks High drama; Jess and Mike broke up and made up several times, Lauren dumped Tyler and he'd moved on to another girl in our class. Lauren was dating a college guy from UW and was just as bitchy as ever. Angela had made it onto the school netball team and Ben had been accepted for early admission into UW for Computer Science. It was startling to hear how the world had kept moving after my break up, my life felt like it was stuck on pause. It was time to change that.

The movie had been surprisingly enjoyable. I'd been nervous when I'd heard the name of it, Mr Vampire, but we'd laughed so much during it, especially at the hopping Vampires and magical post it notes that froze vampires from moving. I was definitely going to buy a copy of this for myself, maybe I could organize a movie night with the Quileutes.

I returned home to see Charlie sitting on the couch with a beer and watching sport. "Hey dad, how was fishing?" He jolted in surprise "hey! You're home. Fishing was a resounding success, the freezer's fully stocked. How was the movie?"
"It was brilliant! I'm actually going to buy a copy of it. So funny."
"Good to hear that." I smiled and went upstairs to get changed in to PJs and read.

It was ten o'clock when I looked up from my book, I'd become enthralled by the Discworld book. I hadn't felt so attached to a book since I first read Wuthering Heights. I cringed, there would be no turning back now- no more hopeless romance stories for me. I set aside the book and turned on the computer. The curiosity was now stronger than the fear. I had a plan and, with Billy's help, any nasty surprises these "Fairy Godparents" brought forth could be handled. Billy was confident so I decided to trust he'd have help at hand for any vampires that threatened the area.

I saw my empty inbox and sighed, just then the computer dinged, scaring the shit out of me. "Stupid vampires, virtually creeping up on me" I mumbled and opened the email.

From: NotACullen
To: BellaSwan

Whoa there little lady, we mean no harm. I pinky swear. My name's Peter and my wife is Charlotte, we also have a brother, but he won't be included in these emails. Anything you say will be just between myself, Char and you.

Like any Fairy Godparent we're here to help, protect (if need be) and set you on the path of your destiny. Now, as for how we know what we know I have knowledge. It's a gift, I'm not a seer or any shit like that, my gift just points me in the direction of fate and honey, your fate is entwined with ours.

As for our allegiance, we have many. Living as long as we have means you pick up quite a few friends and enemies. I guess that concerning our allegiances and how they affect you, we are family and we bring with us a lot of positive friends. We will not use you for blood, friendship or your power. We will not judge or stifle your choices. You are not a pet or mascot.

Now, the all-important question. Diet. We drink from humans, but like you we have allies in the police force. When a criminal needs disposing of we have our own friends who supply information on worthwhile blood. While I can understand this is distasteful for you, the lives we take are necessary.

So, our dear Bella, how are you holding up? My gift tells me you've realized a few important things regarding yourself. Should you need to talk to someone impartial we are here.

It was definitely creepy how these people seemed to know so much. I still didn't completely trust them, but having a lifeline to the vampire world was too tempting. Edward's declaration; comparing human minds to sieves still bothered me. The emails made it easy to hold onto the reality of vampires existing. No, I didn't want to forget.

They are human drinkers, I couldn't help but shudder as I thought of the nomads I'd encountered in the baseball field. Were they all like that?